Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 26th August 2026 - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
From the ZM.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Podcast Network.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Brace yourself for some hot, hot drink news. Okay, well,
I'm currently enjoying a hot, delicious instant coffee. I don't
play around with hot drinks. I have a cup of
tea every now and then. Hot drinks make me anxious. Really?
It's just the heat. It's so hot in my mouth.
I've got friends that don't touch hot drinks. Nah, they
just make me feel queasy. Yeah. I'd rather always have

(00:30):
a cold drink. Yeah. But what about when you need
to warm yourself up? Put on a jumper. Great advice, actually.
You know, like a normal person. Yeah, or a beanie.
Some thick socks and a jumper. Comes out the top
and the bottom, doesn't it? Well, instant coffee, you're drinking
a Macona, it has to be a mmm. How much
mmm heft it today? What do you mean?

Speaker 3 (00:50):
The Macona, how much mmm heft it today?

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Quite a bit of mmm. Mee?

Speaker 4 (00:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Mee? Yeah. So you drink the caramel hinted caramel Macona. Oh,
it's delicious. I'm just a standard Macona guy at home. Freeze-dried. Yeah, freeze-dried.
Invented an invocable, by the way, freeze-dried coffee. When I
was in Invercargill earlier this year, did my girlfriend love
the little historic tour of Invercargill we took when I
walked past? And here's where instant freeze-dried coffee was invented.

(01:18):
I'm pointing at the building. She's like, how do you
know all this shit? And she didn't leave you. She's
still with you. So freeze-dried coffee invented in Aotearoa, New Zealand.
So you've got a 95-gram jar here.

Speaker 5 (01:30):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
This isn't the smallest you can get. No, you can
get big. You can get two bigger. Well, you get
the 200-gram jar, and then you get the 400-gram jar.
I get the 400-gram just because it's economically cheaper. And
it's literally heft mere. It has the most mere. It
heft the most mere. New World has it advertised this week,
the big, big jars, $ 54. Yikes. And it is like

(01:52):
instant coffee price is up, up, up. How many servings?
How many servings in a big jar like that? Heaps. Heaps, yeah. Well,
I mean, I have coffee at work. I don't tend
to have a coffee when I get home anymore. But
on the weekend, I'll have a couple of coffees each morning.
But it's news. It's been going up for months and
months now. Yeah, the prices around the world. It's not

(02:13):
just in New Zealand. Is it being trifecta as a
result of tightening global supply? Market volatility and a weaker
New Zealand dollar.

Speaker 5 (02:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Has led to instant coffee prices going up. I'll buy
a whole, I'll buy heaps of bags when I see
it on one of those big specials. You do. When
it's like 20% off, I'll just buy like 10 of them.
But why? The bags are never cheaper than buying a
new glass jar. I know. When they're on special, they are.
But day to day, it's cheaper to get a big
glass jar. And I love them. They're a studi glass jar.

(02:42):
Makona's known for its glass jars. Yeah. But it's not
just Makona. It's all the coffee brands. All the instant
coffees going up.

Speaker 6 (02:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Not fags. Fags is, you know, it's never been cheap fags.
Can we get a price check on fags? I can
get a little, I'm just going to Google fags coffee.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Just asking for a quick price check on fags coffee.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
It is wild they kept this brand. I just want
to let you know, as we're saying this word, it's
a double G. I thought fags was British. Fags is
a historic New Zealand coffee brand established on Wellington's Cuba
Street in 1926 by Alfred Fagg. Cuba Street. I mean,
it aligns. Did you know? If anything was Cuba Street,

(03:23):
it's that. Yeah. It's coffee. It's delicious coffee. That's what
I was meaning. It's coffee. Oh, yeah, same, same. Fag
was a high-end grocer. I shouldn't have said that. Alfred
Fag was a high-end grocer in Wellington.

Speaker 5 (03:35):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Okay, like a more Wilson's or a Faro's. Yeah, back
in the day.

Speaker 5 (03:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
I'm just going to pop in for some steaks at Fag's.

Speaker 7 (03:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Fag's began roasting coffee. I feel like we've met our
Fag's quota. Yeah, that's enough. That's enough. Yeah. But no
price check on Fag's? He just began. He roasted the
coffee in a room on his Cuba Street store. He
sold it. John Calvin grew fags into a permanent supplier
of freshly roasted coffee. Nation, I always thought it was British.

(04:06):
Haven't we had a lovely history of coffee this morning?
Haven't we just? And it's only early in the show.
Can't remember anything that happened yesterday. Yeah. Next time I'm
in Wellington, I'll know exactly where this building is. And
you're going to say to your hot girlfriend, don't you know?
This is where fags are. was born. Also, on the
hot drink news yesterday, we touched, we had a listener,

(04:27):
didn't we, recommend a Pam's product? Yes, Pam's Multi Hot Chocker.
Which apparently is better than the Milo.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
We had lots of lovely listeners messaging in. They were
bloody taking photos in the aisles of their Pam's Multi.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
And New World Long Bay have reported, I don't know
what's happened, but this stuff's flying off the shelf and
put a photo up. Why is this so popular? It's us.
And we're... Rip off Milo influences.

Speaker 8 (04:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
We're on the big not Milo. Oh, jerks. We love
our jerks here at the show.

Speaker 6 (04:56):
Yeah, we do.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
We love it. If it's cheaper and better, we're not
afraid to absolutely dip a toe. But anyway, that's hot
drink news. That was hot too. Could that be a
regular segment? Expensive coffee. Yeah. And the cheap hot drink
alternative to Milo is good stuff. And a history. A
little bit of history.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Well, Silly Little Pole today is how often do you
check your mailbox? This came to me over the weekend.

(05:37):
My daughter's doing some fundraising to pay for sports camp.

Speaker 5 (05:40):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
And we made some little flyers, printed them at work. And... Shh,
don't mention it. It was hundreds. It was thousands. Hundreds
of thousands. And then walked around popping them in mailboxes. Oh, God,
what a pain. Yeah, I was a nice way to
take the dogs for a walk. No, for the people
who own the mailboxes. Oh, so many people had, like,
no junk mail. I was like, well, it's not junk,

(06:01):
but I see what you're saying. No advertising material. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Which is exactly what you're doing. So avoided them, but then...
Blew my mind. Some people's mailboxes were full. Like, full.
They lived there. Your car in the driveway, you could
see that the house was lived in. The mailbox was full. Granted,
some circulars, but, like, addressed mail. And to the point

(06:22):
where I'd pop the flyer in some people's letterbox, and
you could see the snails had been in there reading
the paper. Like, it had been a long time since
I checked them out.

Speaker 8 (06:30):
Really?

Speaker 3 (06:31):
You might get wet and dry and wet and dry
and eaten by snails.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
But I don't know why... Like, you get courier packages
and stuff you buy online. That's all courier. I don't
know why anyone gets mail for anything anymore. All my utilities,
all the bills are emailed. Did you just lean over
and do a fart? I did, yeah, but I was
hoping to get that under the radar. We're on the radio.
No one heard that. I didn't hear it. He leant.

(06:55):
And did that face. Because I have one ear off
in the room, so I hear the room and the radio. Yeah, well,
you know, that's just a professional broadcaster I am. I'll
carry on. You wouldn't have ever known. I was in
the middle of a sentence. But some of these happen. Like,
for some reason, my rates have started turning up by
post again. I've asked them not to send those. Oh,
you've got message counsellor Richard Hills. He loves an email

(07:16):
asking if you can do this very specific. I said,
listen up. I'm sick of this. As a ratepayer. I also,
oh no, I've got another council gripe. What's your council gripe?
I can't contest the parking infringement I got in Queenstown online.
I have to send them snail mail. I just want
to say, they've done me for parking on yellow lines.
I'm like, check your cameras again. It was pissing down

(07:37):
with rain. I stopped and let people out. I'm sorry
for injecting money into the local economy on a free trip.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
Don't do that thing where you ask them for the
photo because then they do send it and it's really embarrassing.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
But I'm not parked on the yellow line. I'm literally like, stop.
Out you hop. Off I go. Yeah, but that's still,
that's naughty. Was the car moving? The car wasn't, the
car was running. It was in park. No, it wasn't.
I just put my foot on the brake and drive.

Speaker 7 (07:59):
Loophole.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
Yeah. Anyway, I can't contest that online. Again, more snail mail.
You know why, though? It's because it's a tourist town.
You can't do it online. Yeah. Because they want you
to just... They want you to pay it. Because you're
back in Germany, y'all. Y'all. Y'all. You're going back to Germany. Y'all. Y'all. So,
little pollers, how often do you check your mailbox? Especially you,

(08:20):
Queenstown District Council. The options are every day, every few days,
once a fortnight, or hardly ever. I'd say hardly ever.
Hardly ever is 13%. Yeah. Yeah. Once a fortnight is 9%,
every few days 49%, and 29% of people are checking
them every day. I tell you what did come the
other day that surprised me, the electoral thing for the

(08:40):
upcoming election.

Speaker 5 (08:41):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
They've sent all of those out.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
I got mine, my parents, and the last three owners,
so it's great that everyone's having a say this election.

Speaker 9 (08:48):
That's cool.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yeah. We should vote for them. Yeah, can I send
that off? Is that electoral for us? No, they weren't ballots. No, no,
that was just confirming. That was just confirming your thing.

Speaker 9 (08:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Of course I was joking. Oh, I know, wouldn't. I
only check it when I see a little bit of
paper popping out.

Speaker 5 (09:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
But if the post is giving you a thorough ramming.
I've got a deep box. Yeah. I stand by what
I said. Carry on. Just need a moment to... Recover.
Carl said, I got a smart one, so I get
alerted if mail goes in and saves me 20 steps
a day constantly checking it for nothing. Well, this guy.
He's immediately like, yeah. No, I mean, I don't need one. Okay, interesting.

(09:29):
Your mailbox would have to be within Wi-Fi. That's a
problem for me. I've got a long driveway. I've got
bad Wi-Fi. It's giving me email. Smart email. No, we
don't want a smart email. Carl's the guy's name. Carl,
if you could let us know. Oh, here we go. Okay. Yeah,
you're right. Here we go. Yuffie do one. Oh, my Jesus. Yuffie,
that's my cameras. Do you know how much the Yuffie
one is at Bunnings? $ 9, 000. $ 852. The whole mailbox is smart.

Speaker 8 (09:53):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
I feel like it can just be something that sits
in there. We don't need a whole smart mailbox. It's
a Yuffie security smart drop box. So it's a PIN
number for delivery. So it's careers and such. So this
is like one of those parcel lockers, and you put
it on your front deck, like you could put it
on your deck.

Speaker 9 (10:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Until some punk kids grab a cricket bat and a
Toyota Corolla and just run past it. Yeah, ram raid.
Auntie's house. Knock it straight off.

Speaker 5 (10:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Wow. Ashley said, the kids ask me every day, can
I check the mailbox? I'm like, yeah, but there'll be
nothing in there. And they would always come back deflated.
So now I ask the family to just send stuff
to them. Because kids love getting stuff in the mailbox.
That's universal. That's timeless. Oh, yeah, God, yeah. Live from Nana. But,
you know, it used to cost $ 0. 40, and now it costs, what,
$ 2. 70 to buy something like that?

Speaker 7 (10:36):
She's expensive.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
She's expensive. I only check every few days because my
mother-in-law has had her mail redirected here. Man, boomers receive
a lot of mail. There's at least three letters of
catalog every few days, and we get to open them
for her as she's traveling, which is especially fun if
there are fines in there. Are you going to work
your parents into getting everything online?

Speaker 3 (10:53):
No, because then they'll be knocking on my door being like,
what's my email again?

Speaker 1 (10:58):
Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Nobody
mails anything interesting anymore. It's usually bills or speeding tickets,
says Brandon. Yeah. Or parking infringements from Queenstown District Council. Again,
I will take any assistance in getting an email address
to direct it to somebody, please.

Speaker 3 (11:13):
Have you tried Queenstown at council.gov.nz?

Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah. Probably work. Lauren says, I have a weekly task
set up in the Reminders app to check the letterbox,
and I really look forward to it. It's a Wednesday
task in case you were wondering. Anyone who says you
become boring in your late 30s is dead wrong. Man,
Lauren sounds like a good dime. Lauren's diagnosis is incoming,
but I'll take a guess. Ruby, we're in a new development,

(11:39):
so we don't receive mail, so we never check.

Speaker 9 (11:41):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
Nice. Taylor, I don't usually... Is this Taylor Snoring Taylor?
Gay Snoring Taylor. Gay Snoring Taylor. Who's finally got a boyfriend. Yeah.
Whose title keeps getting longer and longer. Yeah. Sort of
like Daenerys Targaryen in Game of Thrones. Mother of Dragons.
Taylor Gay Snorer. Mother of Dragons. Recently acquired boyfriend. I

(12:03):
don't actually know where the hell my mail even goes.
Every now and then my boss gets a letter saying
my pay has been docked because I haven't paid a
parking ticket. I didn't know I had. What? Okay, you
need to sort your life out.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
So today's little poll, how often do you check your mailbox? 49%
of you check it every few days.

Speaker 10 (12:19):
The ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
Now bring up my aux cord, babes, because I have
for you some hot AI music.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Oh, it's French.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
This is just a playlist called The Best AI Music
of 2026. The reason I'm playing it is not in support.
It is because ARIA, that's the body that runs the Australian...
Rights and charts and all that and the awards and
everything are banning wholly or mostly generated music from AI

(12:54):
ineligible for the ARIA charts and the ARIA music awards.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
So they won't chart. So when their top 50 comes
out and it's like Taylor Swift, whatever. Ed Sheeran, whatever.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
Anything that has been majority made or wholly made by
AI is completely banned.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
So it just can't enter the charts. Can't enter the charts.

Speaker 9 (13:14):
Right.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
And can't be recognised. You can still listen to AI
music in Australia. They can't stop you. Yeah, they can't
stop you doing that, but it won't be allowed to chart. Yeah, so...
Australian Recording Industry Association, someone's just messaged in. That's what
I said. Surely you would... Surely you would... That's what
I said. Whoever that was, it text in. It's a
lovely name, isn't it?

Speaker 5 (13:31):
Aria?

Speaker 1 (13:31):
We don't have time. This is live radio.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
We can't go back. There's no rewind button, but you'll
hear that I said the Australian Recording..

Speaker 1 (13:37):
But if we did go back, that's exactly what you
would have said. I thought so.

Speaker 9 (13:40):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
So the trigger was Madonna Like a Prayer dance cover
by a Gold Coast producer, Josh Fawaz, used AI-generated vocals
and drums.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
What? Can we hear that? Are you going to find that?
Have you got it? I don't have it. What was
his name? Sorry.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
Like a Prayer dance cover by Gold Coast producer, Josh Fawaz. F-A-W-A-Z.

Speaker 5 (14:03):
F-A-W-A-Z.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Fawaz.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
Used AI-generated vocals and drums, spent 16 weeks in the
Australian top 20, peaking at number two. And everyone was like,
so Aussie artists and other artists are just like..

Speaker 1 (14:16):
I did hear this a few weeks back. Yeah, okay.
This makes me want to rip my face off of
the flesh of my skull. See, these vocals are AI.
No one. No one sung this. So this is getting big.
Welcome back to the villa. How did he do it?
Just go into one of the AIs and say, make
me a dance version of Madonna's Like a Prayer. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
And this was 16 weeks in the Australian top 20,
peaking at number two.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
I mean, it's a great song. Probably not. So if
he'd done it himself, yes. This is so confusing.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
And so the way they're doing it now is that
it's given them the ability to basically pull shit from
the charts.

Speaker 6 (14:59):
Right.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
And change things.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
And if they were to award a song like this
a prize or an acknowledgement, like most weeks in the
top or something, they can then go back once they
discover how much AI was used and revoke it.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Right. And then artists can then contest it and.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
Say, no, no, it's 50-50, and they're going to have
to start to prove how much of it was artistry
and how much was AI.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
Do you reckon there was this, there wouldn't have been
this level of, like, distaste when music was changing rapidly
and all of a sudden synths and stuff and people
were like well that's not real instruments that's all like
on a computer but humans still.

Speaker 3 (15:35):
Had to push it this is chucking in the machine
less and less so Aria is this mandate kicks in
on Friday okay so it's quickly slopping out yep And
they're going to enforce an industry standard label. So if
you want to have AI general, you have to say

(15:55):
something that says made using AI.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
Spotify have already started labelling AI slop. Exactly that. And
I don't use LinkedIn. You're on LinkedIn as a joke, Vaughan. Yeah.
Excuse me. Excuse you. We'll tell us some of your LinkedIn. Oh,
it's ridiculous. Some of your LinkedIn. What do you call them?
Titles or jobs that you've... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've

(16:18):
never used it. Perfect design consultant to make sure things
aren't phallic. They announced on July 30th... Oh, where was
the AI Slump? No, no, no, I'm finding some other
AI Slump. This is AI.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
Because remember, it got me in the taxi in Paris,
some beautiful soul music from the dirty south, and I
was like, my dad will love this.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
That dance music before, you're just like, oh, yeah. Is
this AI? This is AI.

Speaker 5 (16:39):
Amazing.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
You can hear a little bit. I can hear it there.
You can hear a bit in the voice. LinkedIn on
July 30 announced a Seems Like AI Slot button. So
if you see someone's post, because, you know, we've always talked,
it's a big circle jerk of, you know, people writing
big essays and, you know, this is how I would
do it in business. Yes, yes, yes. And it has
been clicked on. There was a post on Thursday, last Thursday,

(17:04):
from the chief product officer of LinkedIn saying that over
a million people have clicked that button so far. Yeah.
Because that's what people were doing. People were like, generate
me some posts I can put on LinkedIn that makes
me sound great. I don't want to read that.

Speaker 7 (17:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
I want to read what's come from your brain. I
bet the very same people that are clicking this seems
like AISlup are also commenting on it. Great work. Wonderful
to see you succeeding. That's the circle jerk of what
she speaks. Such a circle jerk.

Speaker 10 (17:30):

Speaker 1 (17:33):
From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Well,
according to 15 economic indicators.

Speaker 5 (17:42):
15?

Speaker 1 (17:43):
The South Island is outpacing the North Island. Canterbury, Otago,
Southland leading the charge. West Coast riding growth from farming
and mining. While Northland and Wellington are hurting and Auckland stalled. Wow. Goodness,
that's not good, is it? That's not good. Zero there.
Suck it, Auckland. Actually, suck it, eh? Sometimes. Suck it sometimes.

(18:05):
So are we moving to the South? Is that what
we're doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Main. So I've got the
top six reasons the South Island's booming. I've put on
my economics glasses.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
And I've competed with... They look just like your regular
radio silly boy glasses. Yeah, well, the economists, Brad Olsen,
will agree with all six points. This is actually a
Brad Olsen-endorsed top six. You can't say that he hasn't
been put across this. He hasn't heard it. Brad, if
you're listening and we know you love the show, let
me know if any of these are missing the mark.
Number six on the list of the top six reasons

(18:34):
the South Island is booming, they're better at tosses. They're
better at calling heads or tails. I've looked into the
tosses results of where people are when they're winning the tosses.
South Island are better at calling heads or tails. We
had a big win yesterday, 2700. Yeah, we did. Well,
we had a chance to play at 8 o'clock this morning. Yep.
Really good from you, Fletcher. Thank you. Cross-pollination there. Number

(18:55):
five on the list of the top six reasons the
South Island's booming. Uni students have dropped drinking as much.
They're locking in. Really? They're locking in. They're getting serious.
This generation's drinking less than previous. So the North Island's
just being a bit too whimsical, willy-nilly, having a couple
of wines.

Speaker 7 (19:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Not focusing on the economy. All the big student towns
in the North Island, of course, are Palmerston North and Hamilton. Mm. Mm. Wellington.
You've got to drink to live in Palmerston North. God, yeah.
Love you, Palmy. And Hamilton, well, same guys pretty much.
Number four on the list of the top six reasons.
I can say it. The top six reasons of South
Island's boom and cheap rent. Just cheaper rent. Have you

(19:34):
done yourself? If you're in Auckland, do not even bother
looking at what your house would cost. Oh, my God.
I know. Don't do that. It'll make you cry. It'll
make you cry. Homeowner or renter. Don't look at what?
Don't do that. You'll just be like, why am I
here again? Yeah. Rainbow's in. Sky Tower? Yeah, I know.
Come and see that, though. Number three on the list.

(19:56):
Big international airport. Yes, that's true. Yeah, true. Christchurch has
one of those, too. Shit, do they? Yeah. And if
you're not near that big international airport, you can just
fly from an airport to a big international airport.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
Yeah, well, look who came crawling back to our big
international airport.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
I just passed through. Hello, Nelson. Number three on the
list of the top six reasons the South Island's booming. Snow. Yeah, good.
Snow's pretty great.

Speaker 5 (20:21):
It is.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
But it did snow in Wellington for the second time
in two decades. Yeah, but not the good snow. There's
two very different types of snow. There's good snow and
bad snow. Yeah. Good snow, you make money. The good
white stuff. Wellington's a little sleety, a little watered down.
Red and grey. Yeah. Number two on the list of
the top six reasons the South Island's booming, cheese rolls. Oh, okay.
What's the DLA? Why don't we just make them? Why

(20:44):
don't we just make them every time we come back?
It'd be a civil war. It'd be a civil war
if we started making cheese rolls in the north. And
been like, oh yeah, we do cheese rolls now too.
South end would be like, like hell you do. Over
my burgers. Cheese rolls. Those cheese rolls. And number one

(21:05):
on the list of the top six reasons that South
Island economically is booming. They charge you $ 100 for letting
people out of a car near a tourist attraction when
it's pissing down with rain. Even though you didn't stop,
didn't get out of the car, didn't even put the
car apart, kept in drive, put your foot on the brake.
They quickly jumped out and you went and found a
park miles away and walked back in the rain. You've
brought your personal business into this. Yeah, you've brought your
personal Queenstown Council business into this. I've got to grow it. Yeah.

(21:28):
I've got to grow it, but they are $ 100. $ 100.
Have you asked Maddie McLean's mum? She might know someone
in the council. Because, you know, in small towns, everyone
knows everyone. Yes. Ask Trace. She might know someone in
the council.

Speaker 5 (21:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
Or Steve might. Yeah. Guys, can I just highlight two
messages on the text machine?

Speaker 9 (21:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Scandal.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
I think we've been physically threatened by Jaden, who says,
don't you dare in capitals from Invercargill.

Speaker 5 (21:48):
Don't you dare.

Speaker 1 (21:49):
I think he actually means, don't you dare.

Speaker 10 (21:50):
Don't you dare.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Don't you dare. Don't you dare.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
And then another message saying, lol, Columbus Cafe in Palmy
makes cheese rolls.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Wow. Okay, well, that could be our first civil war.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
We started a civil war between the North and the South.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
Invercargill may invade Palmerston North for the cheese rolls. Have at, guys.
Goodness me. There's two Columbus coffees in Palmerston North. They're
very close to each other. As they should be. They're
very close. They could almost share a cheese roll.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh.

Speaker 7 (22:26):
Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
This came across my Instagram yesterday, and I sent it
immediately to the group chat, particularly focused at the girlies. Actually,
producer girlies, let's discuss this on air together. Mavs, right
at First Sight Australia, currently filming their new season. We've
seen the brides and the grooms. We've had a looky there.
Have we confirmed who's replacing Mel Schilling? I don't think

(22:51):
they've officially announced it. There are definitely rumours.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Very sad. Mel passed away, obviously. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 8 (22:56):
I got a bit of a scoop while I was
in Sydney.

Speaker 5 (22:58):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Give us the hot on the press scoop. Do you
know Shannon's made all these friends with the media people
in Australia? Yeah, she's coming for us. It's called networking. Yeah,
it's brilliant. I did your mingling. She mingles. It's called networking.
I've been hearing about this lately. People go to some
sort of social function with people in the industry or
the wider industry, and they meet them, and they talk,

(23:20):
and they share things. It sounds awful, doesn't it? It does. God.

Speaker 8 (23:25):
Bit of the scoop was I was speaking to someone
who hosts a podcast, and she is a licensed therapist.
And they were keen on her, but she would have
to revoke her license, so she said no.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yes, we talked about this, that our beloved friend..

Speaker 8 (23:40):
John Aitken.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
John Aitken. I was like Clay Aitken I was about
to say. Our beloved friend Clay Aitken. Also a beloved
friend who won American Idol.

Speaker 3 (23:49):
John Aitken, so he is a legitimate therapist, but in
order to do the show, he revokes his license to
practice in public, you know, like to general patients.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
But he also was kind of pulling back from that anyway. Yeah.
So people are like, they're not real therapists. It's like, no, no, no,
they're trained and they've got their licenses. They're just not practicing. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
While in the show, because that's a bit of a
grey area.

Speaker 10 (24:09):
They were doing full casting.

Speaker 8 (24:11):
They were like reaching out to every podcaster in Australia, basically,
to try and find the new Mel.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
But I don't know who it is exactly. Stay tuned.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
But here, this is being teased, is Married at First
Sight's biggest shake-up yet. booze ban revealed as bosses overhaul
dinner party and commitment ceremonies. So they are apparently implementing
in this new season of Married at First Sight a
strict alcohol ban. So not ban, but limit. So I

(24:41):
think they're saying one, kind of like Love Island does,
which is because people were like falling into the pool.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
One cup of Karuba or one standard drink? Well, if
I'm choosing, I'm going a mug of tequila.

Speaker 9 (24:52):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
I will have my one standard mug of tequila. On
one hand, it's great that a show's taking responsibility like this.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
Because some of it has been, like, backs last season,
most of the time, it's just there, and you see
the girls, and they are just like... That's the drunkest
I've ever been, and you're on TV every week like that.

Speaker 8 (25:12):
Do you think, though, this is just going to cause
them to preload, potentially? Because obviously they then live in
an apartment, and the producers don't have control there.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
I know, but they are going to be doing like
a prison when you go through and you do a
quick scan of the thing, to not have alcohol in
their apartments. They're going to be told that this is
a breach of your contract if you're found with alcohol
in your apartment.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
But it doesn't make great TV if everyone's sober.

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Like, let's not forget Martha putting a glass of red
wine over someone's head at a dinner party.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
It was uncool.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
She's just sitting there, you know when you see a girl,
you've seen me do this, when your eyes are brewing
like this, and you're like, I'm going to do something crazy.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah. There was someone I married the first night called Martha.
What was it, like 80?

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Do you know what, her marriage, which everyone was like, yikes.
They're still together like years and years later, they've got
two kids and a house and all this kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Doesn't mean it's going to last.

Speaker 5 (26:04):
No.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Sorry, I didn't mean to gesture. I was just sort
of throwing it to the room.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
Anyway, so they're doing this like alcohol ban. So they're
sober dinner parties. Because apparently, historically, people have come out
and said literally if they're sitting there having a party,
a dinner party, and nothing's happening, the producers will come
and be like, do you want to be here all night?

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Or do you want to start some drama and give
us something to work with?

Speaker 5 (26:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
But it's less likely that's going to happen if they're sober.
Because people will be more rational. I don't remember the
last time I went to a sober dinner party. I
reckon it could start drama if they put out some breads,
but there's not enough spread for all the bread. You
know when you chip the dip ratios out? You finish
the chips, but you've still got heaps of dip left.
And so you've just got to get into it with
your fingers. With a spoon. Waste not, want not. There's

(26:47):
no butter for the bread? Yeah, dry bread. Can we
get some butter? No butter this season. That'll take it off.
If they hold back the food, Yeah. That'll make people
hangry if they starve them all day. Yes. Nah, they're
all on the peppy teas, mate. They don't feel hunger anymore.
I've forgotten what hunger feels like.

Speaker 9 (27:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (27:03):
The Fletchborn and Hayley Big Pod.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
We've got Brookie in from the night show. Hi, Brook.

Speaker 9 (27:08):
Morena.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
It's actually been a while since we've had you in, Studes.

Speaker 11 (27:11):
I don't want to think about the last time because
I know the last time and I get Vietnam flashbacks
from it.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
And it was nothing on you.

Speaker 11 (27:17):
It was more what we were doing.

Speaker 3 (27:19):
Okay, well, we won't talk about that. We've got a
happy occasion in here because... Last time we chatted on
the phone, quite early.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
I do apologise.

Speaker 3 (27:25):
Yeah, that was rude, guys. I actually forget that late
night people exist when you sort of take on this work.

Speaker 11 (27:31):
During the day, yeah, and we do have emotions and
feelings as well. They do forget that often.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
But last time we chatted, you mentioned that you're having
trouble in the dating world.

Speaker 11 (27:41):
Am I what?

Speaker 1 (27:41):
How long have you been single for? For two years.

Speaker 11 (27:45):
Like, officially, but the last thing was, like, an on-again,
off-again thing anyway. So I'm, like, probably single for 24 years.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
Like, actually. How old are you? 24.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
I was like, so your last boyfriend was where?

Speaker 1 (27:57):
In the womb?

Speaker 3 (27:59):
And I promised you, as someone who was also single for, well,
not that long, really, I guess, but..

Speaker 1 (28:06):
It's hard though, yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:07):
I was out there really like discovering the field and
then I met someone sort of successful and I found
it quite easy.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
Okay, well that's not the general experience, Hayley. It's actually
hell out here. Oh my God, it's hell out there.
It's been so hard.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
I was like, someone just stumbled across my desk.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 11 (28:27):
I guess that's what happens when you do have like
boundaries and expectations.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, okay, yeah. It's going to happen eventually.

Speaker 11 (28:32):
I'll have to give you as a reference photo to
my surgeon.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
Yeah, well I have a bit of an uptick. Thank
you so much. Just call that. Yeah, people go in
there and make me look like Kylie Jenner. You're going
to go in and say I make me look like
Halle Sproul. That's crazy with a jawline like mine. I
know that's weak. I'm going in and trying to look
like someone else.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
Anyway, I have an update for you because I don't
know if you caught this, but we had a psychic
in studio, psychic Bran.

Speaker 1 (28:53):
Cousin, I believe. Yeah, early summer.

Speaker 11 (28:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I noticed.

Speaker 9 (28:57):
Brennan.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
The radio people don't need to.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Know no no no so psychic brin came in to
try to tell me that because we were talking about
how bad it is the dating scene out there at
the moment people are using things like numerology auras the numbers.

Speaker 11 (29:13):
I went to one of those tea drinking ones where
you drink tea and then the leafs on the bottom
she looks at the leaves and she goes oh yes
so it's not coming for a wee while that's how
the extent of you know tea drinking The tea drinking dating.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
Who drinks the tea? You.

Speaker 11 (29:26):
I do, because I'm looking for the love.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
I was going to say, if she's drinking all the tea,
she'll need to press a lot.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
So you drink the tea and the leaves go out
and tell you It's like palm reading, but for the leaves.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
You'd be a load of rubbish. You'd be a whole time.
She'd be like, he's not the one. The right one
will feel good.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
Well, it got to the point with Psychic Bran that
he was trying to tell me that my eclipse mints
that I was roasted for, the date on the bottom
means that I'm going to get proposed to on the
17th of December. this year at 5.03 in the mosh
pit of Guns N' Roses.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Did you hear that?

Speaker 8 (30:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (30:02):
No, yeah, I did see this.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Does that align?

Speaker 3 (30:04):
I mean, that's a deeper conversation about, you know, sort
of my stance on monogamy and marriage.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
Do we have time? No. No, we don't, no.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Anyway, so I thought it was a bit far-fetched and
Eclipse themselves heard this and they were like, okay.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Is there fate in the date?

Speaker 3 (30:24):
And they have said me.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
That's a lot of fate. Eight years worth of Eclipse mints.
I've got grape. I've got strawberry.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
I've got fruity duos. I've got all of these mints.
And Eclipse wants to come on board to help me
help you. And I was like, you know what? If
the dating scene is as bad as people say it is,
I think Brooke is about to try anything.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
She's sipping tea leaves trying to find love. Wait, grab
one of the grape ones. Why grape? Because yum. Oh,
so I'm just going off. One of the flavors is
intense mint. You're a bit intense. Okay. Mint.

Speaker 5 (30:58):
Mint.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
Okay, go intense.

Speaker 5 (31:00):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
I was called to strawberry for a second. Pick a
number between one and nine, and then Hayley will correspond
to that box.

Speaker 11 (31:08):
Well, four is my angel number, so we'll go four.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Yep. That's what I would consider four. That's what you'd
consider four. Fourth tin. Three and down.

Speaker 7 (31:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
Okay, so let's just say, Brooke. This already feels so right. Yes.
Do you have your phone? I do. Can you look
up the 14th of April, 2027? Gosh, she's going to
have to wait a bit for the right one. 14th.
Of April, 2027. Do you have anything in your calendar?
It's a Wednesday. Oh, that doesn't feel good. That doesn't
feel good to meet Mr. Right?

Speaker 11 (31:37):
It's a lot of New Years. Karma New Year. Belgian
New Year.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Okay, there could be something in there.

Speaker 11 (31:43):
Tomorrow New Year.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
Well, what I think we need to do here is,
because Eclipse wants to know if there is fate in
the date, like apparently there is in mine. Stay tuned
to see if I get proposed to in the Guns N'
Roses mosh pit, despite saying, don't do that, and him saying, no,
I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
Who knows? What song?

Speaker 11 (31:59):
Who knows?

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Oh, everyone was like, November rain. Anyway, we digress. This
is about you, not me. I've found love. You're desperate.
What we're going to do is, I'm going to give
you these Eclipse Minstons. They're all yours. We'll take a
grape for the studio. What if that's my one? What
if that's my one? I'm going to put it back. Yeah,
thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
And with Eclipse, we're going to try to get our
listeners to help you out. Now, what are you looking
for in a man?

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Just give us a brief description of what you're looking for.

Speaker 11 (32:25):
Someone with a full licence, a non-pink licence, a registered
warranted car.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
Okay. I used to be like, do you want to
start a bit, go a bit high, like raise the
bar a little bit here.

Speaker 8 (32:37):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Oh, so I can actually say.

Speaker 11 (32:40):
I was like, I always used to go for medium ugly,
but then it made it really weird when they would
cheat on me because then I'm like, how am I
getting cheated on by a medium ugly guy? This is
so backwards.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
So I'm not going to say medium ugly. I want
a hot person. It does hurt when someone uglier than
you cheats on you. It's unbelievable. Where do they get off? Oh,
my God. When you're like, audacity. Audacity?

Speaker 8 (33:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
You would do that to me.

Speaker 5 (33:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
Insanity.

Speaker 11 (33:05):
No, and it happens.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Even when I got ghosted, I was like, excuse you.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
No, it's your fault. You've given the ugly person too
much confidence because they scored someone out of their leg.

Speaker 5 (33:13):
Totally.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
They're like, if I can climb... We've created a monster.
I can kill a manjaro, I can climb Everest.

Speaker 11 (33:17):
I know, because I like it because they're complimentary and
they're so thankful and you're like, oh, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
It's like charity work. They work harder, but you train
them up. Hot, full licence..

Speaker 11 (33:26):
And has talked to, is a people person.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
A people person, some emotional maturity there, a bit of
a communicator.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Who wants a people person? They want to go places
and do things.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
Well, I reckon we're not going to be able to
use these unless you have men to test this theory on.
So we want our listeners to help you out a
little bit because I'm short of men.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
So if you go to ZM online, register someone you know.
So ladies, if you're listening now, maybe your brother, someone
you work with. The bestie. She's 24 years old. She's gorgeous.
She's funny. She's talented, but not in an intimidating way. No,
totally not intimidating. That was our thing. As extroverts, we're intimidating.
Go to ZM Online, register, and then we could select
your man friend or you, if you're listening, if you

(34:06):
are a man, to come on. Does it have to
be a man?

Speaker 11 (34:10):
It doesn't have to be. No, I do go both ways.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
Yeah, yeah, great. It's 2026, everyone does. It doesn't matter,
does it?

Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yeah, if you're a single friend, family member, workmate who
you think would be a.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Good match for Albrook.

Speaker 11 (34:21):
And makes a lot more money.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
Yeah, and then Eclipse is going to take you guys
out on a date and then we're going to see
if there's fate in the date.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, so we can find... If this number system is
going to work for you. Find your fate in the
date at the bottom of your Eclipse mint tin.

Speaker 11 (34:34):
Okay, so we're going to go on the date and
then just like seamlessly bring up. Also, that day that
you brought up was National Gardening Day as well, which
I feel like is a sign.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but it could
be a date to them. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Okay, well,
ZM Online to register. Brooke, thank you for coming in.

Speaker 11 (34:47):
No, Hayley, thank you for wing-woman-ing me.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
Well, thank you, Eclipse, for coming on board. And who knows,
maybe there is... Take a grape for the studio. Can
I take a grape for the studio?

Speaker 11 (34:56):
Can I look at the number first? Because what if
that really aligns and speaks to me? I'm just doing
this one.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
That's three. Okay. It's my fate.

Speaker 4 (35:04):
The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Born and Hayleaf.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
How to lose a guy in 10 days. 2003, Matthew McConaughey,
Kate Hudson. Because Matthew McConaughey was saying this is his
cash cow. Yes. He gets huge. Because he got paid
less to do it, but got residuals, got more on
the back end. I think they call it a back end.

Speaker 5 (35:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
And he said it's one of the movies he's most
proud of. And it peaks every Valentine's Day. Yeah, it
peaks every Valentine's Day. And then... He said something else
about it.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
I can't remember what it was, but yeah, that he
gets this huge amount of money from it. And he
thinks it's one of like the best rom-coms of.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
All time, which I totally agree. It's brilliant. And then
I tried to remember last time I tried to give
the plot of it and everyone said you've combined too many.
You did failure to launch. I did. You did failure
to launch. Another classic iconic hype. Brilliant. So it's an
early development at Paramount. Apparently Kate Hudson's going to produce it.
And they're going to reprise their original roles, but obviously not.

(35:59):
playing the same story over again. It's got big... kids
involved situation it's got the kids are dating yeah they're
the parents this is 23 years ago yeah the kids
could be you know 20 20 yeah that's insane are
they gonna be together don't know don't know so apparently
this is just these early y2k so early 2000s y2k

(36:22):
era nostalgia is massive in hollywood at the moment yeah
they cite in the success of the devil is proud
of two scary movies.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
Back yeah They did a 13 going on 30 reboot, right?
Or something like that.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
And it did a Legally Blonde reboot. Hocus Pocus. What
was that? Practical Magic 2. Practical Magic 2. Yeah, that
was that. There's the next Fokker and Law. Is there?
Meet the Parents. Yes, with Ariana Grande. Correct. Shrek 5.
Toy Story 5 this year.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
I reckon the question everyone's going to be asking is,
How are they going to do the reappearance of the
yellow dress? Because this yellow dress that Kate Hudson wears
at the end of the film that makes him.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
Go, holy moly, I think I might love this lady.
That was terrible. It started well, eh? Hey, my auntie's good.
Get to the chopper. It's not getting better. You really
enunciate chopper. Get to the chopper. Get to the chopper.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
So the yellow dress is iconic. It lives on as
one of the greatest dresses in film history. I'm like,
how are they going to do the modern version of it?

Speaker 1 (37:29):
That was my question. When, when, when, when? Nah, it's
an early development. That's an outfit that's happening. A couple
of years away. Great, sorry.

Speaker 3 (37:42):
We've already got a message that made me laugh. What
wasn't quite as good as you remember it?

Speaker 1 (37:47):
Someone said, when you go back and have sex with
your ex, you're like, oh. Whoops. And not worth it.
And now I've created a mess. Yeah. Why did I
do that? It was not as good at all. Now
it's awkward again. Well, this is not what I'm referring to.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
I was hanging out with some family over the weekend
and one of them was 13 and is a big
fan of horror films.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
And I was like... Has he watched the... Back rooms
and obsession he's seen multiple times. Really?

Speaker 3 (38:17):
Obsessed with these modern horror films and how scary and
spooky they are.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
And I said, brace yourself, boy. Brace yourself, boy.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
I said, when I was your age, I watched a
film that changed my life. I'm 36 years old and
I still think about how horrifying it was. Sit down,
we're going to watch it. The Blair Witch Project.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
Oh, God. Now, we all remember. I was recently telling
my girls about The Blair Witch Project and just how
genius the marketing was in the early days of the internet. Totally.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
It was all found footage and the actors didn't go
to the premiere because at the end.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
Where were they? You know, so I just remember being
so haunted in the final image.

Speaker 7 (38:56):
And all this stuff.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the basement, hey? In the basement. Yeah,
facing in the corner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it.
Of course, it was all marketing BS and it was
an average movie. Oh, excuse you. It was scary. It
was so scary.

Speaker 3 (39:09):
And I think I've... the memory in myself that it
was one of the best scary films of all time.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
So there we were, we chuck it off, got it,
we're there and I'm like, you know that thing where
you're like, here we go, anything you know in a
horror film and we kick it off and I guess
I was 13 when I watched it, felt too young
at the time and we were watching this with a
13-year-old and I was like, You're doing that thing where suddenly.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
You're realising, this isn't as good as I remember it, man.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
And I've really sold it and I'm looking over and
being like, wait, wait, wait. We're going to get into
the twink stuff soon.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
What about the tent? When they're in the tent?

Speaker 3 (39:44):
The tent and the screaming and the snotty nose.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
She's going to do a bit. And it just was,
it just, it was still a great move.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
It was very entertaining and he liked it, but I
was like, It's not as good as I remember it
in terms of freaking me out.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yeah, because it had the whole social commentary 23 years ago.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
Anyway, and it got me thinking about those things that
you just remember as this golden standard.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
That's what I think about. And you go back and
you're like, eh. Whenever an online campaign kicks off, bring
back tangy fruits. I'm just like. They were okay, man.
They're not as good as you think. It was like
Georgie Pie. How many? Every year it was. Oh, my God.
Georgie Pie and McDonald's was like, okay, shut up. We'll
bring it back. And everyone was like, eh, better pies
down the bakery. Yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 3 (40:29):
And they were like.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
We could have told you this. The pies were only
good because they were a dollar and no one can
make a dollar pie anymore. There's a reason these things
stopped getting made is because no one bought them. If
they did, they would still be making them. They would
have never gone out of business.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
But maybe, yeah, maybe it was a place you visited,
you know, and as a kid you're like, right, we're
going back or..

Speaker 1 (40:48):
I don't know, a house or, yeah, a person that
you revisited and went, God, no.

Speaker 9 (40:53):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Or a movie. Whatever it is, I want to know. Okay, 0800DARLS. M.
Maybe you actually travelled somewhere and you're like, we've got
to go back there. You go back and it's... Yes. Oh,
it was amazing. You go and you're like, this sucks.
This sucks. Okay, 0800DARLS. M is our number. 9696 to text
us in the studio. What wasn't as good as you
remember it?

Speaker 4 (41:10):
The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Ashley, what's not as good as you remembered?

Speaker 7 (41:19):
The Caroline Bay Carnival in Timaru.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Oh, shots fired at Caroline Bay. Caroline Bay Carnival. I
haven't heard of that. Is that a big sort of
annual fest?

Speaker 7 (41:29):
Yeah, around New Year's.

Speaker 10 (41:31):
We used to go loads as a kid.

Speaker 11 (41:32):
We went back as adults with our kids, and it
just felt really small.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, but that's the thing. When you're a kid, you
don't have a whole bunch of experience, right? So every
experience is exciting and exhilarating, and then you're an adult
and you have depression and... Some say a little bit
too much reliance on booze to get through the day.
And things like carnivals don't tickle the brain enough. That's right.
You've done theme parks. It's hard to compare. Yeah. But

(41:59):
for the kids, that's what, like, I see my kids
enjoying stuff, and I'm like, well, I'm not going to
say anything because they are enjoying it because they haven't
experienced as much stuff.

Speaker 3 (42:06):
I know what you mean, though, when things are so
much smaller, not even about the enjoyment because it's not
for you anymore, but, like, this used to be huge.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
But, yeah, you're just growing up and jaded.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
It's like my field at my primary school used to
be called the big field or the farm.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Oh, my God, I know. I went there and I
was like, this is a lawn. It's tiny.

Speaker 9 (42:25):
It's tiny.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
And it used to take you ages to run across it. Oh,
it's puffed. Ashley, thank you. Victoria, Victoria, what isn't as
good as you remember? Hi, guys. Morning. Morning.

Speaker 5 (42:36):
Just thinking back, it actually made me really sad thinking
about it. So, like, in the early 2000s, like, maybe 2005-ish,
there was this place called Wynoddle Hot Springs.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 5 (42:47):
Wynoddle.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
Yep, just out of Huntly.

Speaker 10 (42:50):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
And it was, like, the hot spot. Like, you know,
it was always packed. There was no seats.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (42:56):
But then it got, like, really run down, and, like,
I've tried to go back multiple times, like, in the last, like,
couple of years, and it's just not been the same.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Is it still open? I just Googled it, and June 30,
2026 placed into liquidation.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
Yeah, I think it got closed down. It was that
bad at the end of the day, yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
We used to go there. That was the place you
went for, like, the end of, like, the sports team's... Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 5 (43:23):
It wasn't every weekend with, like, family.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
It was, like, a massive family thing, you know.

Speaker 5 (43:27):
It was always so fun, and they.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
Had that big log back in the day, which was
super dangerous.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
So dangerous, man. Now it's just a twig. It was
a greased log across the pool, and you'd go out
and wrestle on it. I feel like I do remember this.

Speaker 11 (43:39):
Yeah, it was so dangerous.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
So dangerous. So fun.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
But also, like, when you're a kid, right, and you're going,
you're the kid enjoying it. When you're there, you're the
adult being like, why are these effing kids here?

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Yeah. You know?

Speaker 5 (43:51):
Like, can you..

Speaker 1 (43:52):
Which was your favourite Hydra slide there, Victoria? Was it
the really long, curly one or the really fast, straight one?

Speaker 5 (43:58):
The curly one, for sure.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
You'd almost slip out of it. Yeah, I love the
curly one.

Speaker 5 (44:02):
I feel like jumping out of that place is really dangerous.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
I came out of that one on the curly one once.
Should I hurt myself quite badly? Victoria, thank you. So
many messages. We'll get to the rest of those next.
You can join in. Text 9696. What wasn't quite as
good as you remember it?

Speaker 3 (44:21):
I feel like we've had quite a nostalgia buzz.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
On our show. He's knocked his coffee over. This is
great because he's always telling us off for knocking stuff over.
There was a lid on it and it's on the floor,
so it's okay.

Speaker 3 (44:35):
I'll say this carpet's the kind of carpet that's made
for spilling on, so you can't see it. A tissue,
that's going to make it worse.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
A tissue, a tissue, we all fall down.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
Producer of the show, Carwen, this is a you problem,
isn't it?

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Yeah, yeah, she's coming in. We'll do it later. We'll
do it later. You can't even see it. I wouldn't
worry about that. I can just layer it up, Carlweenie.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Okay. Carlweenie, what wasn't as good as you remember it?

Speaker 1 (44:56):
She's very rarely in studio. This show. Holy shit. Amazing.
Is that our caller of the week? Savage bitch. Is
that our caller of the week?

Speaker 3 (45:08):
When would you say the tone changed? Don't say within
the last four and a half years.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Caller of the week. I'll dwell on that all day. God.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Anyway, we're talking about the things that weren't as good.
Stop cleaning up his mess.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
Somebody has some text messages that love the movie Grease
as a kid, but watch it as an adult. It's awful. Sexually.
It is overtly sexual, Grease. Did she put up a fight?
When he was flirting with her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, okay.
That's a consensual gray area, dude. The car was going
to make the chicks cream. You can't say that. You
can't say that. And we were all singing it at

(45:41):
the Morrisville Intermediate School Disco when they played the Megamix.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
Oh, my God, Sophie, staying up all night, gaming, when
you realise you're too old to run on no sleep anymore,
and you're like, fine, I'm an adult, and then you're like.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
How good was that? You look at the clock, you'd
be like, two o'clock, you'd be like, I am so naughty,
but oh, well. Chalk topping, that stuff that went hard
on top of ice cream, chalk magic, not as good.
They could have also changed that recipe. Yeah, true. Chocolates,
I love. The one that you put it on, eh,
and it goes hard. Growing up, I used to think
it would be cool as a kid, but now that
it's happened, it's just not as great.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
Do you remember your parents as well being like, you're
a long-time adult, don't be in a hurry to grow up,
you're a long-time adult, don't do that.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
I say that now.

Speaker 7 (46:17):
I want to be, I want to do this.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
No, you don't. Enjoy it. Now I want my mummy.
Somebody else said just life in general is not what
it used to be. Some dark messages coming in. Somebody
said public pools on a whole. When you were going
to the public pools as a kid, you were just like,
this is going to be probably one of the top
five days of the year.

Speaker 5 (46:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
But Ricky, you're an adult. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
And now we're all like, my pubes are everywhere, you know,
and I've been body shamed for decades.

Speaker 6 (46:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
I can't reach the parts of my back that need
sunscreen the most. No. It hurts. I'm here for fitness
because I'm getting fat. You know, it's different. Somebody said, yeah,
the movie American Pie. Again. Yeah. Yeah, someone said, hang on,
hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. What did
they watch?

Speaker 3 (46:59):
I watched Dude, Where's My Car Last Night. which also
is making a great comeback. I told my teenagers, this
is the funniest movie ever.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
Then we're watching, and it was like, oh, I laughed once. Yeah,
it's real dumb. Oh, wow. It's dumb. It's real dumb.
Not even, and then. And then. And then, and then,
and then, and then, and then. The only thing of
that movie I remember. I went on and on to
my kids about watching Dark Crystal. God, that thing terrified
me as a kid. I loved Dark Crystal. They said,
when I watched it as an adult, I could see
the strings on the puppets, and the kids were like,

(47:28):
I can see the strings on the puppets. ruin it
oh no i visited thailand in the 1980s it was
beautiful and copp was this remote paradise island with furries
that went there a couple of times fast forward to
now it's overrun with tourists it's utterly polluted it's yuck
it's all sexualized it's yeah leonardo dicaprio ruined it he
did yeah thanks leonardo he was the original instagram someone

(47:49):
said the zoo was it Well, you know, it's just
what Instagram's done to every tourist place around the world.
Someone said the zoo's not as good as an adult.
Now I feel depressed. No, that's a lie it is.
That's a lie. The last zoo I went to was
Wellington Zoo, and I was just running around the whole time.

Speaker 3 (48:05):
Are you guys doing anything this weekend? Should we go
to the zoo? I've been gagging to go to the
zoo this weekend. I haven't been to.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
The zoo in ages. I haven't seen a Tasmanian devil
for too long. I think Sunday we should go to
the zoo.

Speaker 7 (48:16):
The Fletchborn and Hayley Big Pod.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Sadly, overnight the news, if you've just joined us, that
she's passed away aged 80. Just like one of the legends.

Speaker 3 (48:24):
And I feel like you've got to do some research
on Dolly if you're not a big fan. She wrote
so much music for other people as well. I mean,
I will always love you. Some people don't even know
she wrote that.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
And she wrote that... Are you going to say the
same fact? That Elvis wanted it?

Speaker 3 (48:39):
No, she wrote, I will always love you and Jolene
in the same damn night. Took her like a couple
of hours. Just came to her and then she was like,
that's not.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
And then Elvis was like, I want to do I
will always love you, but I'm going to need 50%
of the profits. And she was like, no. See you later. No,
see you later, man. And did it herself.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
Honey.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
And then Whitney Houston did it. Yeah, yeah. The rest
is history. She sent out like 270 million books across
America to underprivileged kids that would otherwise not have them.
She's got a theme park. In the early 90s, I
think she promised this specific age, said all of you
that are five now, if you graduate high school, I'll
give you $ 500 cash. Yeah. And the dropout rate went

(49:15):
from like 33% to six.

Speaker 5 (49:16):
Dolly.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Now let's do something a little fun to perk up
our mood on a sad day like today.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Two days ago, we were talking about our oranges. I've
got an orange tree. Vaughn's got an orange tree. It
got quite heated, didn't it? Because you two are very
passionate about your oranges. Well, you ripped me one. Didn't you, Vaughan,
because you said that my oranges are yucky and scabby.
You self-described your oranges as scabby.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
I've always had scabby fruit. You know this as procurers
of my limes. But I tell you what, it doesn't
affect the taste. I think you've got delicious citrus. Scabby
citrus tree.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Exactly. Takes after its mother. Scabby. Takes after its mother.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
Sweet eventually, but you've got to really work at it.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
A bit much at first. Yeah, kind of like, woo!
And then you're like... I enjoyed that. But split her open.
She's a juicy. No, that's not what I meant. Fletch. Fletch,
your brain went there.

Speaker 11 (50:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
He meant open me emotionally, peel back my layers and
get to know me. And she's sweet. And she's sweet.

Speaker 5 (50:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:14):
So we had a little banter that we both believe
our oranges are the best oranges and you eat oranges
every morning from the damn supermarket.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
Like an idiot. Because some of us don't live with
a tree. God damn, I've got so many. There's too many.

Speaker 5 (50:28):
They..

Speaker 1 (50:29):
I've got so many, please don't buy oranges. I'm just
mowing over them. Well, bring them in. No, you're an animal.
I just mow over them. Mow over them? I can't
get it all rotten on the floor. Okay, how much
fun is it mowing over things? I just mow over
my limes and my lemons and oranges. I'm like, sorry. No,
the best thing to mow over is a feed jar.

Speaker 5 (50:44):
Oh, yuck.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
But they stink.

Speaker 3 (50:46):
Okay, so this is, Kia ora, no mai haere mai,
welcome to the Great Kiwi Orange Off. Contestants Vaughan Smith
and Hayley Sproul.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
We have each brought in an orange.

Speaker 3 (51:00):
We've cut it and given you a slice on a plate,
as you love your oranges.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yes. And you're going to do a blind tasting. And you,
without prejudice... So I don't know which slice belongs to who.
But we do. But you do. Okay. Also, we're going
to do the aesthetic orange. No, no. Purely on taste.
I thought we were going to do two categories. That's
why I brought in two oranges. Well, I brought two
oranges too. But you've left a bloody..

Speaker 9 (51:25):
Green leaf on there and that looks way nicer this
was um just i just pulled it off the tree
and it came like that that's actually just probably not
ready then probably not ready if you're pulling would.

Speaker 3 (51:35):
You mind fetching my second orange from the locker i
did bring i don't think the.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Listeners can't see it but i don't think you're scared
your oranges just look like oranges that aren't clean okay
whose is this one oh don't tell me this is
the one i'm gonna pick up first okay And this
guy eats so much citrus, like, he must wheeze hot.
This is why he's never sick. The guy's a vitamin
C factory. Cleanse the palate. Jesus Christ. Did you cleanse

(52:01):
the palate? God damn you. Okay, if you heard that.
This one's nicer. Show me the back of it.

Speaker 5 (52:13):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (52:14):

Give us some tasting notes. What did you experience?

Speaker 3 (52:19):
Because I actually think mine hit the palate. It's shocking
at first when you have citrus, and then your palate
was all warmed up, ready to go for his orange slice.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
No, his was a bit of orange. Why? Juicier? It
was juicier. I think he's eaten three oranges already this morning.
I've had two this morning already. Okay, yeah. What was
wrong with mine? A bit dry, a bit dry. Dry?
A bit dry. A bit dry, and it looked a
bit dry. It wasn't as juicy as, I'd say it's
a succulent orange. A succulent orange. I'm really in a

(52:49):
sore loser about this. Do you think they're the same
type of orange? Because someone once told me that this
is a sweet navel orange, and I was just like,
far out. That's posh stuff. Okay, so I want your
oranges brought into work. Okay. And I'm just going to
keep mowing over mine. You're on limes. My lime tree
is still fledgling. You're on limes. Your limes, by the way,
I've juiced them. They're delicious limes. Okay, join us tomorrow

(53:12):
for the Great Kiwi Lime Off. No, we're not doing
this again. Where you're going to eat my... Somebody messaged.
I also have an abundance of oranges. On Sunday, I
got inspired. I made orange juice, orange cake, and orange
fruit leather. On Monday, I spent the whole day poosing myself.
Beware of a vitamin C overdose. Orange champion. Also, quickly,

(53:35):
whose is the better looking orange? Yours also, yeah. Suck it, Sproul.

Speaker 10 (53:40):

Speaker 2 (53:42):
Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
You've been called out, have you? Yeah, the other day
I've been taking my dogs for a run every day
or a walk at the very least because Richie was...
Am I enjoying it? Yeah, love it. I tell you what,
just until the peptides become legal, eh? Yeah, because I
was like, if someone took me out for a run
every day, I'd be like, oh, bugger off, mate. No,
there's nothing like a... Richie, my golden retriever, gets as

(54:06):
excited every single day for a walk. It's like he's
never been on a walk before. Or if he jumps
up on the back of the ute. It's like he's
never been on it. And I was just like, man,
I wish I had that. I know. Just like every day.
Feel excited. He's like, I'm not going to go on
the ute. This is insane. What do I do when
I get up here? And then when you go along
the road, he hangs his head out and he's just like. Oh, fun.
That's joyful. We should take a leaf out of his book. Totally.

(54:28):
It's a bit much sometimes, but it's great. So I
took the dogs for a run, and they can do
like 3Ks, maybe 4Ks on a good day. I did
an 8.5 earlier this year. I don't want to talk
about it. And so I got them home. They were pooped. Really?
Because you did. I did. Still am. Still am. I

(54:49):
actually feel like I've got a bit more in me.
And I got running, and I was like, I think
I'm going to do one of the blocks. It's like
a 10K. You had a runner's high. 10K block. You
know when you get that little. Yeah, and so I'm
going and I'm feeling good and I'm listening to my
audio book. It's an audio book. It's so weird. I
couldn't listen to an audio book when running. It's got
to be beats per minute. No, to me it's to

(55:11):
get out of your head. You listen to somebody else
talk so that the voices in your head aren't. We've
got voices going on here at the moment. Oh, got
a whole committee in there. Have a lady hooey. There's
a lot of hooey. And so I'm running and I
get down to a spot and I'm like, I'm just
going to duck in and use the public toilet. Oh, yeah.
And I duck in and I use the public toilet
and I said, better check the phone, see if I've
heard from the kids. And I got a message from

(55:32):
a guy that said, pick up the pace, old boy.

Speaker 8 (55:35):
Oh!

Speaker 1 (55:39):
That's good. It's funny.

Speaker 6 (55:40):
Sluggish.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
For a start, this is my private time. I don't
want people seeing me. Judging me. Running. That's why I
run rural roads. But I just ducked into the public
toilet in town. Pick up the pace, old boy.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
This is so the difference between men and women. I
have said to women, or if I've run before back
in my day, or I see women running, often women would.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Be like, Go, girl. Good on you, babe. We're, like,
killing it. Yeah. And other men being like, girl, speed
it up, mate. Come on, fat guys. Yeah, come on.
Come on, old boy. Fat guys. Come on, old boy. Oh,
did you? Yeah, but I just messaged back. I said,
I think you spotted me. I'm uphill.

Speaker 5 (56:15):
Oh, right.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
So, yeah, that's why you were so slow. I slowed down.
Downhill is where I, you know. You should have seen
me on the downhill. But not real downhill because I
feel like my legs are going to get away on me.
But just a steady decline. That's nice stuff. Gravity play
a bit of the role.

Speaker 3 (56:31):
I reckon the only thing with when you're running, though,
and you're on a down, you're like. This means on
the way home, there's an up.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
There's an up.

Speaker 3 (56:36):
That's my whole thought process. I'm like, God, I can't
enjoy this right now because I know.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
What's to come. You've got to get up to get down.
You've got to get up to get down. You've got
to get up to get down. Yeah, and if you
go down, you've got to get up to get down. Yeah, yeah.
Not unless you have a circuit that you only run
on the downhill. Oh, that would be nice. That would
be nice. Optical illusions with the stairs are always going down. Oh,
somewhat of an MC Escher. Yeah, that's who it is.

(57:02):
Old Escher. Wow. But anyway. Well, feedback welcome? No. In
the future? No. Okay. You know I don't take feedback well.
I know you don't. On anything. I don't care. I
don't want feedback. The radio show, your running technique, life, anything. Yeah,
you don't have no notes.

Speaker 4 (57:18):
The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 6 (57:24):
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Fact of the day brought to you by St. Pierre's. Fact!
Today's sushi of the day is eight pieces of tasty
tuna mayo for $ 8.

Speaker 11 (57:46):
40.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Thank you, Gordon. Remember that. You don't have to be
a genius to work out that's a bloody good price. Beautiful.
Tuna not for me. Tuna's not for you. Nah, I'd go,
I was salmon yesterday. That was my choice. You can
still get salmon if you want. You can get salmon today,
it's just not the... The whole shop just goes, tuna only! Boy,
did we get some tuna that we're going to get. Alright,

(58:10):
today's track to the day is who invented ice cream
here at Ice Cream Week?

Speaker 9 (58:13):
Mr. Cream.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
Oh, God. Yeah, Mr. Ice Cream. So there's two claims.
Two cultures have a claim to ice cream. One is China,
and the other is Persia. Persia. Let's start with China.
Chinese chefs are said to have been making a frozen
dairy treat as far back as 200 BC, packing rice

(58:35):
milk mix into fresh snow to freeze it. Yum. Okay.
So the modern Mandarin word for ice cream literally translates
to snow cake. And there is, there is records in
Chinese history back to the Tang dynasty that they were
making things. And a lot of the time, you know,
my favorite dynasty, the Tang. Really?

Speaker 5 (58:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Not sure about mine.

Speaker 9 (59:00):
Not sure.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
I haven't chose. I haven't thought much about what my
favorite dynasty would be. I want to like just say
one of the dynasties, but I don't want to pick
because I don't know anything about the dynasties, but I
don't want to say one that was well-known for genocide
or something. Well, I'm pretty sure all of them were
pretty bad. They all had their good points and their
bad points. Pros and cons of your favorite dynasty? I'm
going to say Tudor. Who? Who?

Speaker 5 (59:19):
Tudor?

Speaker 1 (59:19):
The Tudor dynasty. No, we're talking Chinese dynasties. Oh, only Chinese.
These dynasties worldwide. Not interested. Chinese. I wouldn't have called
the Tudors a dynasty. Said the word too many times
and I completely lost all meaning. Completely lost all meaning.
During the Tang dynasty, there was a dessert called Sushan,
which is crispy mountain. Goat's milk, curd, melted, strained and

(59:40):
poured into mountain-shaped moulds and then sat... In ice. Oh, okay. See,
of course, China had ready access to ice, mountains, et cetera. Persia,
more interesting. Persia, and I've seen these, they invented a
refrigeration technique. They built giant beehive-shaped structures called yakincha, which

(01:00:02):
are insulated underground ice stores built right into the desert.
So they'd ship the ice in, and they'd put them
in this, and the ice would last longer. It would
let them freeze things, not only keep things cold, but
if they put them right in the middle of it,
they could freeze milk, sugar, and powdered orchid root. Into
a proto-ice cream. 550 BC. That's insane. How long would

(01:00:22):
the ice last? Ages. Do you think Jesus liked ice cream?
I don't know if Jesus ever had ice cream. Man,
he would have loved it, eh? But he could have
because this happened 500 years. R.I.P. Gone too soon. How
deep in the ground was it that the ice would stay?
It's just below the ground. Have you never looked them up?
That's insane. They're quite amazing. Did it beep when you

(01:00:43):
left the door open? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:00:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Shut up. But it was the old days before our show,
so someone just literally stood at the door.

Speaker 5 (01:00:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:00:52):
You left it open.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Open, open. It's open. So they froze it so the
Persians could make the ice cream.

Speaker 6 (01:01:00):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
What was the recipe? Milk, sugar, and powdered orchid root. Oh,
that one sounds better because it's got sugar. Yeah, sugar. Yeah, sugar.

Speaker 5 (01:01:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
So worth noting, though, the earliest versions of the current
ice cream that we know, 17th century Italy. They had
it all. They had ice cream. And then they're like,
let's make gelato. And everyone's like, yeah. Gelato's the best. No,
gelato's not as good as ice cream. Gelato is greater
than ice cream. No, gelato's better than ice cream. 9-6-9-6,
gelato or ice cream. I think I've done this before.
Ice cream's better than sorbet. Gelato is better. Everything's better

(01:01:30):
than sorbet. Frozen yogurt's number one. Excuse you. No, go
gelato number one. No, ice cream number one. Gelato simply
cannot be beaten. Gelato is just fancy, better, more interesting
ice cream. Gelato number two. Frozen yogurt number three. Sorbet, pfft.
Down the bottom. With sorbet. Sorbet, it's like, I'm trying

(01:01:51):
to be healthy. Eat a lemon if you want to
eat a lemon. You know what I mean? Yeah. I
don't think the Persians were dragging ice all the way
to their underground beehives so someone could come in and
be like, Ahmed, would you like some sorbet? And he's
just like, that's it. Got any cream in it? They're like, no,
this one's dairy-free. He's like, yuck.

Speaker 6 (01:02:09):
Yuck.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
Yuck. Why would you make that when there is ice
cream available? Sorry. So today's fact of the day is
that thanks to an underground beehive-shaped refrigeration unit, the Persians
have the strongest claim to inventing ice cream.

Speaker 6 (01:02:25):
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Speaker 12 (01:02:32):

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
I want to know the cringiest date that you have
ever been on.

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
And I'm talking like... Maybe they made a big move,
a big gesture.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
There is a man who on his first date booked
a barbershop quartet. You know, you've seen this in movies
and they come in and they sing like a little.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
Oh, no. Ditty or something like that. Yeah, this is terrible.

Speaker 3 (01:03:08):
I will say at the time they were teenagers. It was,
you know, a few years ago. 17 years old, sitting
at a table for two. It was a first date
and suddenly she hears a harmonica. a pitch pipe of sorts,
and four elderly men in red tuxedos and straw boater
hats walk through the door, and they start singing barbershop

(01:03:32):
songs at her. So this 17-year-old at this point, she's
never had a proper boyfriend or anything like this, so
she's just on this date and is like, um, what
the hell has.

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
Happened, John?

Speaker 3 (01:03:42):
And he's just thought it was, he's obviously seen it
in a movie somewhere and thought, you know, this is
a romantic gesture.

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
Yeah. No. No.

Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
You know, a barbershop quartet with flowers and they sing
a little song. She said it was the most embarrassing
thing she's ever had.

Speaker 5 (01:03:55):
In her life.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
This is in public. Yeah, no thanks. I'd be like, shush, shush, shush. Out, out, out, out. No, no, no, no, no, no.
They'd just be looking at you and then everyone's looking
at you.

Speaker 3 (01:04:05):
My bonnie baby is a, and you're, oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
Cringe. Yeah, that's not good. Safe to say they didn't
make it. So she's what relived this experience. Relived this.
She's talking about dating in general later in life, but
this was her start.

Speaker 5 (01:04:17):
Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 (01:04:17):
You know, like casual boyfriends is their first boyfriend, first
proper date, and he got a cringy barbershop quartet. I
want to know the cringy move that your date pulled.
Maybe it was something like he'd written a poem. Mate,
it's got to be cringy to you as well because
some people might receive a poem on a first date.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
Or, you know, early date and really love her. Would
you though? What if somebody on your first date sung
you a song, like they play the guitar? Well, there
was a guy who sang to me on the first date, remember?
Is it funny or is it earnest? It's earnest. Is
it bad? It's bad and earnest. Yeah. Gregorio sung Wonderwall
to me. He sung that to you, yeah. Yeah, in Italy.
But he was hot, so it was okay, wasn't it? Yeah,

(01:04:55):
but it was cringe still, though. Yeah. His hotness pushed
through a lot of cringe. Yeah. That's how hot he was.
But he obviously pulls this out. It's his move. Today
is gonna... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, so
we want to take your calls. 0800-DARS-IT-M. Text us 9696.
What was the cringiest date you've been on? Emily, what

(01:05:18):
was the cringiest date you've been on?

Speaker 9 (01:05:21):
So it was.

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
Kind of a double date, actually.

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
Okay. So his friend bought a date and he bought me.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
And we went ice skating.

Speaker 7 (01:05:34):
They were really good at ice skating.

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
See, that's why they chose it. Me and the date
were not. Yeah. Yeah, see, why would you want your date, like,
falling over? It's so embarrassing. It gives you a chance
to be a hero and, like, let me hold your hand.
Me and the date didn't, like, literally just hung out
together the whole.

Speaker 9 (01:05:53):
Time, me and his friend's date.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (01:05:56):
However, me and that friend just went to Alex Warren
on the weekend.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 (01:06:01):
So it worked out for us.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
So you've made friends. What an interesting origin story. And
whatever happened to those... Yeah, whatever happened to those two guys?

Speaker 3 (01:06:13):
I know that there was a girl that came between
not only me.

Speaker 9 (01:06:16):
And my date, but her and her date.

Speaker 1 (01:06:19):
And I know her and my date are now dating, so... Wait, she's... Okay. Wow, okay,
so someone... How long ago did this happen? It was
a bit of a mess.

Speaker 8 (01:06:31):
Um..

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
Must have been, it was either late 2019, early 2020,
just before COVID.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
Not that long ago. Okay. Wow. And you're still good
friends now. That's amazing.

Speaker 5 (01:06:41):
Yeah, we're good mates.

Speaker 1 (01:06:43):
Thanks to Alex Warren. She lives in Nelson. I live
in Christchurch.

Speaker 11 (01:06:46):
And turns out they've also got.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
Another mutual friend. So the three of us went together. Oh,
that's nice. So cringy date, but it all worked out
in the end. It all worked out in the end. Emily,
thank you. Some messages in. My first date stole my
first kiss, which I'd mentioned I hadn't had and I
was nervous about. And afterwards, patted me on the head
and said, it has been dumped. Oh, no. That's yuck.

(01:07:08):
It has been done. It has been done. Oh, yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Take that back. My sister had a guy make her
a poster saying how great she was, and he gave
it to her on a date. My sister did not
go on another date with him. Yeah, no, I wouldn't be.
Poster art, though. Put some time and effort into that.
It's like a homemade card, you know. It means so
much more.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
Talking cringiest dates. Some of these are so painful, I
don't know why we would even bother.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
Just be alone. We asked this on Instagram. I'll go
through those responses now. They told me how much money
they had in their bank account. They bragged they had
over $ 300, 000. Oh, no, that's no second date. No. Good
for you. Or two years. You get half of that.
How long has it been? You know, like triple that.
Isn't it three years now? Three years or whatever it is.

Speaker 4 (01:07:54):
Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
It could be worth it. A guy broke his leg
on our first date and it was a major ick
for me. It is young singer man in a moon boot.

Speaker 5 (01:08:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:03):
Your dirty little bald toe sticking out.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
No, but then do you remember years ago our friend
James was in a moon boot and he got a
lot of action. Sympathy shags. Sympathy. Did he get shagged sympathetically?
He did, yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:08:15):
Gosh.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Yeah, the moon boot apparently is. It worked wonders. I've
got one rattling around in my garage somewhere. Might whip
it on. Well, there you go. He asked me if
I'd ever considered waxing my moustache. Oh, dude, dude, dude.
First date with a gym bro. You think we haven't tried, bro?
First date with a gym bro, he took his shirt
off walking between bars because it was hot. Oh, my God.

(01:08:39):
Kill me. He took me back home, a.k.a. his parents'
messy basement, and he had a massive booger in his
bed the whole date, and it was gross. Oh, God.
He looked up and read out loud articles about our
star sign compatibility. He asked me if I wanted to
have a threesome with him and his ex. Went to

(01:09:00):
his house afterwards and had some more drinks, and I
had too many whiskey sours and I threw up all
over his bathroom. Oh, that's somebody's little bit of a self-profession.
A man tried to impress me by telling me a
story about how he stole a rental car.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
Someone said on a similar vibe to the first kiss
story that said it has been done. I went on
a date with a guy who also gave me my
first kiss and then he sang that I make them
good girls go bad right into my ear. I still
cringe about it 15 years later.

Speaker 1 (01:09:32):
That's a terrible song. It's brilliant. Right into her ear.
I make them good girls go bad. Good girls go bad.
Cobra Starship. Yeah, right. We've got to hear it, Vaughn.
Cue that for us. Pull up a little Cobra Stash
up here for you. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 (01:09:46):
I went on a date with someone who I knew
in school 30 years ago. Great song. He neglected to
tell me that nowadays he has no teeth.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
Good girls go bad. I hope you did that line.
Good girls go bad. Sorry, Hayley, carry on.

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
When I date with someone I went to school with
30 years ago, he neglected to tell me that now
he has no teeth. And then when we got there,
he ordered steak. When it finished, he asked for a
teaspoon to drink the steak juice with.

Speaker 1 (01:10:18):
Big egg. Huge egg. How did he eat the steak?
Like mush it? You'd have to have it so rare. Yeah.
I was at my sister's house and I met this
lady who found out I was single and wanted me
to meet her son. I haven't read the end of this,
by the way. We're just going to see what happens.
This never ends well. And I thought, you know what?
This could be such a cute love story. His mum
hooked us up. We went to a cafe and he

(01:10:38):
ordered English breakfast tea and I just couldn't do it.
I knew right then and there he wasn't for me.
That's your market?

Speaker 11 (01:10:44):
Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:10:45):
A 20-something having a cup of English breakfast tea. I
was like, mm-mm. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:10:50):
Went on a first date, went out for brunch and whatnot. Afterwards,
took me to Gun City and he bought a rifle.
We'll say, still together six years.

Speaker 5 (01:10:57):
Later, lol.

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
Wow, gun city on your first date. I called him
Kevin all day. It wasn't until after the date he
messaged me saying, you've been calling me Kevin all day,
but it's actually Kelvin. Oh, he should have said it
in the moment. Oh, that's close enough, isn't it? Went
on a date with this bloke. Started well. Took my
dog to the beach for a walk.

Speaker 5 (01:11:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:15):
And he said, would you like dinner at my place?
I said, sure. Got to his house. We walked in.
What he hadn't said is he was living with his nana.
We walk in. He said, what's for dinner, nana? And
she was cooking dinner for us. And he then pulled
out a guitar while Nana cooked and started singing Wonderwall
so badly that my dog started growling and howling. We
had dinner with Nana. I tried to make an escape

(01:11:37):
and he said to me, I won't walk you out
because I've got my socks on. He was 42 years old.

Speaker 3 (01:11:42):
Ooh, a man saying, I won't walk you out, I've
got my socks on. We don't mention socks. Men in socks, yuck.
I was dating a guy who was going away for
a weekend for work. So he drew a cartoon flower
on a piece of refill paper and coloured it in
with highlighters and then sprayed his cologne on it. He
gave it to me and told me I could smell
him over the weekend and remember him.

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
No, no, no. You're children, mate. Yuck. Okay. My dad
picked me up for our first date with a missing
tooth and a stolen car. We were together for seven years.
And you had children with him. I was on a
second date with a fellow. Things heated up and he
asked me if I wanted him to licky licky. Huge

(01:12:25):
turn off. Immediate act.

Speaker 7 (01:12:27):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
I think my vagina just removed itself from my body.
I make them good girls go bad. You want a
little licky-licky. Licky-licky. I want to be in the planet. Yeah. No,
it's not great. Next on the show. And also, don't ask. Yes,

(01:12:51):
every time. Just tell me I want to be lucky. Yeah,
tell me I'm a good girl gone bad. Take control, yeah. Well,
if you're looking for a job, I wouldn't even know
where to start in terms of like, you know, like
CVs or curriculum. No, neither. Resumes, LinkedIn. You've got LinkedIn.

(01:13:15):
Got a huge on LinkedIn. Massive man. You love your...
Sort of for funsies, not for like actually trying to sell.
I mean, sure, and I hate to say it. LinkedIn's
got games recently. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, so you can
go on LinkedIn and it looks like, well... I suppose
if you're at work and you're on LinkedIn, you're kind
of promoting yourself and hoping of getting another work. Well,
so there's been a study that looked into the kind

(01:13:36):
of resumes that got job interviews because a lot of
people are also AI-ing their resume. And then you don't know, like,
how do you lay it out? That's what I was
going to say, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:45):
AI-ing and, like, trying to sell themselves because it's hard,
hard market at the moment.

Speaker 1 (01:13:50):
So this is what they tested, a human-written single-column resume.
keeping it to the point, short and sweet. A human-ridden
double column. So, like, boom, boom. Lots of info. And
then a generic AI resume. Yeah. So, the one that
was the best, that got the most job interviews, and

(01:14:10):
also bear in mind now, like, isn't AI screening a
lot of applications?

Speaker 8 (01:14:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:15):
Yeah. Yeah, isn't that insane? Yeah, they can tell you.
They'll just feed it in and be like, let's interview
these people. So the one that was the best was
a human-written single column. It drew the most positive responses,
got more people job interviews.

Speaker 3 (01:14:29):
I think from my very brief experience of seeking actual
employment that was not freelance creative work, And I was
making a CV.

Speaker 1 (01:14:39):
I think I had to because I was on the doll.

Speaker 3 (01:14:41):
And they make you job seekers. I was on the
job seekers in between acting gigs.

Speaker 1 (01:14:47):
And I was like, you've got to let my creativity flow.

Speaker 3 (01:14:50):
They're like, Helen Clark's not in charge of this government anymore, bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:14:53):
Get out there. And I was like, damn it. You're
going to one of the arts ones. I want the
artist benefit. And they were like, no, job seekers are nothing.
And I remember making it. And I did.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
I always made it really personal. because I was like
my sparkle is what is going to make people hire
me I've got no work experience really other than a
drama degree and it did work like you know what
I mean like people take a whim on you if
you are like presenting yourself as an actual person who
is real because I feel like the more AI is

(01:15:21):
coming in the more we're able to detect like that's
not written by.

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
You yeah you can tell so be personal short.

Speaker 3 (01:15:27):
And sweet I'm always like little sense of humour to
it you know But what would I know?

Speaker 1 (01:15:33):
I've never really had a proper job.

Speaker 4 (01:15:34):
I sort of just wander around.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
I had to give myself a bit of a talking
to yesterday. It was a literal, I said it out loud.
I said, for God's sake, stop and have something to eat. Oh, mum.
You're getting a bit wound up, weren't you? I was getting,
I had a multitude of jobs on the go. Everything,
I've just found lately, everything's breaking. Oh. Yeah. It feels

(01:16:01):
like when it rains, it pours with that stuff, eh? Yeah,
everything's breaking. Something just stops working. Something's leaking. You're breaking.
The brain's just on the verge of a break. Everything's breaking.
And I was just like, well, I'll go and do that,
and then I'll do that, and then I'll do that,
and then I'll do that. And I said to myself,
for God's sake, eat first. Yes. Because you're not going
to be able to solve any of these problems because
you're all jittery. On an empty gas. For God's sake,
you stop and you get yourself something to eat. And

(01:16:22):
I was like, all right, I'll stop and I'll have
something to eat.

Speaker 5 (01:16:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:16:25):
I'm going to listen to Vaughn. Both of those things
were said out loud. Yeah. Both the, for God's sake,
stop and eat, and the, yeah, okay, I'll stop and
I'll have something to eat. And I had something to eat,
and I felt so much better. I had a talking
to to myself yesterday.

Speaker 3 (01:16:38):
The boyfriend came around and I said, I'm PMS-y at
the moment, like really bad in this down mode.

Speaker 1 (01:16:43):
And he was like, that's all good. We'll just, you know,
chill out or something. I was like, fine. Do this
or not. What do you want to watch? I don't care.
You choose. I just don't want to choose. Put this
thing on. Are you enjoying that? Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:16:54):
No, if you're finding it funny, that's fine. And I
was like, Hayley, what are you doing? Are you feeling
a bit peckish?

Speaker 1 (01:17:00):
No. I'm going to make some dinner. Do you want
me to make you something?

Speaker 9 (01:17:03):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:17:04):
And I was like, oh, you can hear it coming out.
And I literally went to the bathroom, looked at myself
in the mirror, and I was like, sort it out.

Speaker 1 (01:17:09):
You're being mean for no reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's
done nothing wrong. He still did put the washing on
at 10 o'clock at night. That was mad. That was
crazy that he looked into your eyes and saw this situation.
And he's dealing with this. The fire of day 30. Yeah.
And put drying on at 10. I just don't understand.

Speaker 3 (01:17:25):
But he was trying to be really nice, and I
was being a nightmare. And it does, it takes something, though,
to stop and go, hey, little talk to yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:17:32):
Yeah. Eat something. Do something. This is what you would
like to ask the listener. I don't know when you
had to give yourself a talking to.

Speaker 3 (01:17:38):
When you realise you're being a shit is the worst feeling.

Speaker 9 (01:17:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:41):
Like, oh, I suck. Did you hear me? Stop. You're
not going to be able to do any of this
stuff and have somebody eat?

Speaker 9 (01:17:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:46):
And when did you last have somebody drink water? Oh,
you better. Oh, wait. Don't go to bed like that.
You've got wet hair. Dry it. You'll regret that in
the morning. That was me yesterday as well. Oh, I'm tired.
Is it a bit of an inner mum? Yeah, inner
mum monologue. Yeah. I know some people's mums have left
like a real sort of like, do you need to
eat that sort of thing, and we're not, we ignore them. No,
our one is, eat. So whether it's out loud or

(01:18:07):
it's in a monologue, when have you had to give
yourself a talking to, and what was it for? Did
you have to pull yourself in line? Yeah, pull yourself,
I love, pull your head in. Pull your head in.
Pull your bloody head in.

Speaker 7 (01:18:17):
The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod.

Speaker 1 (01:18:20):
We want to know, when have you had to give
yourself a good talking to? A good stern talking to.
A good stern talking to. Vaughan had to do it yesterday.

Speaker 5 (01:18:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:18:27):
Stop what you're doing, have something to eat. You're not
going to be able to do all these things without eating.

Speaker 3 (01:18:32):
I had to do it yesterday because I was being
a bitch because I'm about to menstruato.

Speaker 1 (01:18:37):
Not the only ones. Stacey joins us. Stacey, when did
you have to give yourself a good talking to recently?

Speaker 5 (01:18:42):
I kind of have to do it on the regular,
but I'm a veterinarian and I... sometimes have to help
our loved ones cross over the Rainbow Bridge Road.

Speaker 1 (01:18:56):
Beautifully said. Beautifully put. Do you do humans too?

Speaker 5 (01:19:01):
No, no, not qualified yet.

Speaker 1 (01:19:03):
Vaughn, that was dark. That was dark. Same juice, just
more of it. You would have to though, Stacey, wouldn't you?
You'd have to give it, because I mean, these are,
even though they're not your pets, they're still beautiful cats
and dogs.

Speaker 5 (01:19:14):
Yeah, and then you grow to love your patients and
your clients and you grow this bond with them. So
when the time comes, it's It's heart-wrenching for you too.

Speaker 1 (01:19:26):
Yeah. So what's the talking to you say? What's a
version of that?

Speaker 5 (01:19:30):
I always have to tell myself there is nothing more
that I could have done.

Speaker 1 (01:19:34):
This dog or cat.

Speaker 5 (01:19:36):
Has led the most beautiful life that it can and
could have.

Speaker 1 (01:19:40):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (01:19:41):
I am doing the best thing that I can for
this family and for the patient.

Speaker 1 (01:19:47):
Oh, my God. Yeah, the cat or the dog is
probably living in awful pain. It's for the best, isn't it?
And they don't know what's happening. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:19:55):
You know, of course, the circumstances sometimes are, unfortunately, money
and that sucks. But, you know, it's a reality and
there's nothing that, You know, neither I or the client
can change. That's right.

Speaker 7 (01:20:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:11):
Okay. Oh, Stacey. Good to have a talking to. You're
doing good work. You're doing great work, Stacey. Thank you
for sharing. Yeah. Some messages.

Speaker 3 (01:20:21):
I lost my shit and went up to the manager
because I forgot my Swin South sauce.

Speaker 1 (01:20:26):
I actually lost it at them.

Speaker 3 (01:20:28):
To be fair, I was pregnant hormone on the drive home.
I thought, girl, WTF was that?

Speaker 1 (01:20:32):
Check yourself.

Speaker 9 (01:20:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
To loop back to Nottles and say, hey, it was me.
I'm so sorry about that. But this is why, how
sad is it since COVID and so many recent times?
Places have signs. Be kind. Please don't abuse our staff.
Supermarket workers wearing body cams. It's nuts. I used to
love stealing things after a few shandies on a night out,
says Ruby. One day I woke up cradling a Jesus

(01:20:57):
statue that I'd taken from a house party. Turns out
not only was it a family heirloom, it was valid
for over.

Speaker 5 (01:21:03):
5, 000.

Speaker 1 (01:21:03):
Oh, my God. The anxiety I had dropping him back
to his owner was like nothing else. So I gave
myself a good talking to. I said, Ruby, no more stealing.
And from there I have not stolen. Oh, good talking to, Ruby.

Speaker 3 (01:21:14):
God, I remember once a friend of mine, who shall
remain nameless, we were out big night, and she was cold,
and she saw a Katmandu puffer.

Speaker 1 (01:21:25):
And so she just took it, right? No. Terrible. Would
never endorse this. Where from? A pub. Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:21:31):
It was an all-blacks-had-played night, and there were big crowds
and stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:21:36):
We're out. She's cold.

Speaker 3 (01:21:37):
She's like, I'm going to take that puffer. Takes the puffer.
Wake up in the morning, she's like, God, I stole
this puffer. That puffer stayed in her family forever.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
For, how long ago was that?

Speaker 5 (01:21:46):
11 years.

Speaker 3 (01:21:47):
Her mum wore it all the time when she was
cold until she passed. And I always think about it.
Every time I saw her mum wearing that jacket, I'm like,
oh my God.

Speaker 1 (01:21:53):
That's the stolen pass down through the family jacket. The
drunken puffer. They're great jackets. They're great jackets. Get a
good puffer. It's going to last forever. The lazy guy
at work, I was such a bitch to him. I
had to check myself. I went in to apologise 15
minutes later and he said, you really hurt my feelings. Oh. Oh,
don't be so lazy. Every time I'm driving somewhere, I
always chat to myself, give myself a good talking to

(01:22:15):
about my bad driving habits. I say, Anna, it's fine
to let that car sneak up on the inside lane.
It's not affecting you. Let them do what they're going
to do.

Speaker 3 (01:22:20):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:22:20):
It's not a race. Anna, you forgot to indicate out
of that roundabout. Next time you've got to do better.
I love these. So good. I should record myself because
I am literally saying it out loud. Somebody said... We
had a follow-up from the Chicken Nuggets. Okay.

Speaker 8 (01:22:32):
Worse.

Speaker 3 (01:22:33):
I sat in the car and I called the McDonald's
and I asked for the manager. I then said, can
you bring it out to the car? Oh, no, this
is what is happening. I sat in the car, called
the McDonald's and said, bring out the sweet and sour
sauce to my car.

Speaker 1 (01:22:47):
I'm parked here. Here's my number plate.

Speaker 3 (01:22:49):
But gave the 16-year-old manager no vehicle details.

Speaker 1 (01:22:53):
So he had to go.

Speaker 3 (01:22:54):
Car to car trying to find me. Still, I'm like,
that was next level, girl.

Speaker 1 (01:22:59):
I'm having a good time. Mario messaged me when he
was having a poo this morning. He had to give
himself a talk to her. He said, one more wipe, Mario.
You've got to make sure it's clean to start the day.
That's solid advice, though. Sometimes you are just sort of like,
I'm done here. I'm done here. I want to get
out of here. One more wipe, Mario. One more wipe, Mario.

Speaker 3 (01:23:15):
I think that's a beautiful motto for today. I feel
people are lacking in a bit of motivation at the moment.
One more wipe, Mario.

Speaker 1 (01:23:29):
So this, I wonder if people will remember this.

Speaker 3 (01:23:32):
It was a bit of a throwaway comment I made,
and it's kind of come full circle. Now, you won't
notice this, but it's George's studio. Georgie, you've worn this
once before of mine when we swapped clothes. It's a
polka dot mini skirt that I wear the hell out of.

Speaker 1 (01:23:47):
Oh, yeah, I quite like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:23:50):
This is a skirt I bought from Ruby years ago,
and since then it's like threadbare.

Speaker 1 (01:23:55):
Oh, wow. Favourite go-to skirt. Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:23:57):
I will say today I'm not wearing it because I
couldn't find it, and I am instead wearing a skirt
that is inappropriately short for the workplace.

Speaker 1 (01:24:04):
Look at that. Wait, stand up properly, though. I know,
it's bad. Turn around?

Speaker 5 (01:24:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:24:09):
Yeah, but you've got shorties on. You're all jeans. Yeah,
but you shouldn't see the shorties. That's when you know
that your skirt's too short.

Speaker 3 (01:24:13):
And the reason I'm wearing this skirt is because I
couldn't find my favourite skirt, the polka dot skirt. I've
just realised, and I mentioned this maybe two weeks ago,
it's still on the line.

Speaker 1 (01:24:22):
I think that's five weeks. Oh, yeah, she's got some..

Speaker 3 (01:24:25):
Remember we mentioned this, that we were like, I hung
out two items on the washing line.

Speaker 1 (01:24:29):
Yeah, because you've got to wait for it to dry again.
And then get wet again and dry and get wet again.
And then I've just forgot because my washing line's out
of sight, out of mind. It's tucked in a little
like cove.

Speaker 5 (01:24:39):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:24:39):
So I don't need to see it. And I just realised, oh,
my God, I've never taken it in. It's still there.
That's why you just put things in the dryer. That
thing's going to stink. I've been, dude, my dryer's been
getting smashed. Same. This winter. No. I didn't have a
dryer until last year. It's not my aesthetic. Go back
to a dryer-free life. No, I'm honing it. It's great.
You just chuck everything in there. Oh, no, I don't

(01:25:00):
chuck everything in. I'm not a monster. Oh, yeah. Apart
from nice nets and stuff. But you just chuck everything
on in there.

Speaker 3 (01:25:06):
No, I wouldn't chuck the skirt in there. But it's
like five weeks. Is that thing ruined?

Speaker 9 (01:25:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:25:10):
How many birds have shed on this? Yeah. How many
things have eaten it? Definitely going to need a rewash.
It's going to smell a bit mouldy. Yeah, it's crusty now.

Speaker 3 (01:25:18):
I think it's just sort of pointed to where my
brain's at at the moment. I've probably walked past it
a million times.

Speaker 1 (01:25:23):
And gone, there's that bloody skirt. I've got to get
that in and put it back on the wash. That's
your state of mind right now.

Speaker 5 (01:25:29):
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 (01:25:29):
It's just left out in the rain. Oh, my God, no.
Get it in the laundry tub soaking with some salt.
Because we're a Saad family. Oh, we're a Saad family.
We're a Saad family. And leave it in there, and
then at least it's not on the line anymore, but
it will sit in the sink for a while. Yeah, okay,
but because it's full wet, not getting wet, dry, wet, dry.

Speaker 6 (01:25:47):
It's better.

Speaker 1 (01:25:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Saad will get that stink out.

Speaker 3 (01:25:50):
Well, join us again to see if the skirt made
its way off the line and to the sink.

Speaker 1 (01:25:55):
Do you need me to send a text reminder? Do a, hey, Siri. Hey, Siri,
remind me at 2 p.m. to get the washing in.
Do you do that? Yeah. Yeah, I've never done that.
People have never used it like this. No, I always
give myself reminders. And what does it do? I'll be like, hey,
at 2 o'clock, I'll be like, pack this for tomorrow
or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:26:12):
No, but my reminders, if I scroll down, get a will. Now,
that's from 2024.

Speaker 1 (01:26:19):
Have you got a will yet? No.

Speaker 9 (01:26:21):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:26:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:26:22):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:26:22):
Okay. So it's sort of obvious. You have to pick
through the things that you like and just go for it. Free-for-all.
It's a garage sale. I want to get the taxidermy.
I want the taxidermy arctic fox. You get the arctic fox,
you get the honey badger, and you can have some
of my leather goods. I get the house. No, and
the debt that goes with it, sure. Got you. Hey, guys,
apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They

(01:26:44):
want us to tell people to tell more of their friends.

Speaker 3 (01:26:46):
So people are clearly liking it, but we have to
tell them to tell others to like it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:50):
I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the
company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Yeah, like, oh, no, no, no,
we'll just... Yeah. Maybe we won't say nice. Maybe we
should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that
the company makes. Oh, no, but only after ours. Yeah, nah, nah,
don't do that. And not more than ours. Give us
a sexy little review, though. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

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Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 26th August 2026

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 26th August 2026