Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 27th August 2026

• 0:00 Intro
• 2:50 Vaughan’s runaway trolley
• 12:10 Men are trash is the new boys will be boys
• 16:25 Top 6 expenses you can’t claim at the IRD
• 22:55 PSA for the hay fever girlies
• 25:05 Hayley’s wasp update
• 29:30 SLP Did you get paid for chores as a kid?
• 36:05 What’s your funeral song?
• 47:40 Are we too old for low rise jeans?
• 51:55 What’s your friendship origin story?
• 1:02:30 Fact of the day
• 1:08:25 Siri’s random advice
• 1:11:45 QLP Vaughan poos or spews
• 1:18:50 When did you get really late spoilers?
• 1:28:20 Uber spy on your kids feature

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
From the ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
This is Flesh, Fawn and Hayley's Big Pod.

Speaker 3 (00:05):
Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at
the lowest prices. Hello, good morning.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome to the show, Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Last day of tosses.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yeah, and every hour. We're tossing every hour from 8
o'clock until 4 o'clock. So, so many... Now, is Georgia
any good at tossing a coin? Well, we're going to
find out today, aren't we? Because she hasn't been playing. No. Well, today...
It's not easy.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
No.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Tide. Vaughan's got a big fluffy.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Vaughan's got a big.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
Fat pop sock on it. These boys in the industry,
they're anti-sock. This is something I've learnt about them, listener.
They don't like a sock on the mic.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
You know, you see a microphone and it's got like
a big fluffy thing on it. It's got a foam
thing on it.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
If you're in the wind, if you're out in the wind, sure,
but it's got one built in. They've got one built in.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Did that hurt your ears? Don't think so. No, I
see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peter picked up.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
So listen out for the activator to play today for
ZM Tosses. We're going to play first at 8 o'clock
this morning, so listen out for that. Of all the
top six, the IRD, the I-R-D. Yes. Have had some
trouble with us.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Whom I love and respect and will never cross in
my life.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
They've had some problems with some fraudulent claims, some expense claims. Now,
you guys have businesses. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. We talked about that movie idea
all night.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Did it come to fruition? No, it didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
But you've got to break a few eggs to make
a cheesecake. Make a cheesecake, that's right.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Is this boozy lunch a business meeting?

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Of course it is.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Of course it is.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Well, the IRD have identified... The top six expenses you
can't claim at the IRD. Now, I've done their list. Yeah,
apparently there's a coordinated scheme where people are claiming bogus expenses.
And people have been promoting this on TikTok and Instagram.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Claim this, claim this.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, it's been making people claim, and they've cottoned on
to it, and they've clamped down on it.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
They did a big change when they came in. They
were like, listen, you can't claim that T-shirt, mate.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Or this or that or whatever.

Speaker 6 (02:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
You can't.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
One thing that blows my mind is in New Zealand,
they've bought in the ABBA law.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
You can only wear it on stage, right?

Speaker 1 (02:13):
If you're buying a costume, if you're buying clothes for
your company or business, it has to be effectively usable
in no other situation if you want to claim all
the tax back on it. Well, that's why all my
subway staff have subway logo on their polos.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Yeah, yeah, that's right. So they can't be wearing that
out on the town.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
And it's such a bright green. I wish you hadn't
done such a big logo on the subway.

Speaker 6 (02:34):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yeah. So what are you doing, the top six?

Speaker 1 (02:38):
The top six expenses, you can't claim at the IRD.
This is good. Okay.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
Yeah, good. That's good. Because I'm a law abider. A
rule follower.

Speaker 7 (02:46):
The ZN Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Fess up, you pig.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Come on.

Speaker 8 (02:51):
Come on.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Oh, Mr. Nice Guy, Vaughan Smith. I've listened to him
for years.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
Nice fella. Just your way.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Great guy.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Nicest guy on radio. Yeah, right? So I was.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Actually sending you a voice note, so you're somewhat... guilty
by association. No, no, no, don't bring us into this.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
I did think that the voice note at the end
kind of got cut abrupt.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah, it got kind of stopped. It did kind of
get stopped because I turned around and noticed my trolley
had run away. So I got back to the, I'd
been to Mitre 10, I'd purchased what could only be
described as an ungodly amount of liquid chlorine because I
pulled the pull cover back and it was a frog pond.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Dude, May I tell you off for how much chlorine
you put in? Yeah. Later in the story.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Don't get in there, brother. It was like four and
a half litres of chlorine will do a shock treatment.
I poured in 20 litres. I was like, it's two grains.
No one's swimming in it for a while yet. We're
still a little way off. But I was just like,
this needs to be.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
Punched.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Right, okay.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
So I poured in 20 litres of chlorine and then
told Claude the AI because it helps me with my,
you know, pool balance, my pH balance, both.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Pool and vagina.

Speaker 6 (03:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Tell you what though, no thrush since you've been with Claude.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
No, not at all.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Thank you, Claude. Thank you for that pH balance. Yeah,
but I said, I'll be honest with you, Claude, I
poured on way more than you said yesterday because this
was the next day. I was like, look, the pool's perf,
it's blue again. I'll be honest with you. I poured
way more chlorine. And he's like, I wouldn't have done that.
And he's like, please don't let anybody swim in that.
It'll melt them.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
It kind of burns off after some time. The sun
eats the chlorine.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah. The sun eats the chlorine. So it'll be fine.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
It'll be fine. Don't worry. Don't worry about it. Don't
worry about it. So you're at Mitre 10.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
You've bought your chlorine. I bought 60 litres of liquid chlorine.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
Jeez. It's not a big pull.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
No, because I just keep, I just, it's good to
have it there. You know, you buy it. It's like, well,
you buy in bulk, right?

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
So that's basically me buying in bulk.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
It saves me going back to the store. I'm going
to get through it, you know.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Summer's coming.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
So that's 60 kgs. And then a couple of other
things from my team. Because you always go for one
thing and you always get another. Were you more of
an adult when you learned that one litre is one kg?

Speaker 3 (04:54):
No, not everything. Not all the time, eh?

Speaker 1 (04:57):
It was later, eh? No, it was like one of
the first units of measurement you learnt. The easiest way
to find out a KG was to get a one-liter
milk bottle. I feel like they didn't teach us that
at school.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Really?

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Don't worry, I spelt moment with two M's in the
middle for years until I was an adult.

Speaker 4 (05:11):
Moment.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Moment. Moment.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh, God.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
A moment.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
From this moment. So I had one of those trolleys.
From this moment. Moment. Life has begun.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Begin. So....

Speaker 3 (05:26):
She's loaded up. I had one of those low trolleys. Yeah,
they're my favourite. They're my favourite. I hate deep trolleys.
I put all the... Wait, wait. I love loading it
up with compost.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Wait, when is one litre not a kg? You said sometimes.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
No, you're thinking of like mass. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Water is one litre is one kg. Not everything weighs
the same as water. Like oil would be less. One
litre of oil is not one kg.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
It would be less.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah. Because oil floats on water. So that means it's lighter.
So it's got to be less than a kg.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
What about juice?

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Depends how pulpy. Depends how pulpy.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Generally weighs about 0.85 oil kgs. Does it?

Speaker 3 (06:06):
A litre of oil.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
Right.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
150 grams off now. Is one litre of pulpy juice?

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Pulpy orange juice.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Okay, pulpy juice.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'm going to say it's a bit more.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
One kg. Pulp would weigh less. Pulp would weigh less.

Speaker 4 (06:16):
More. More.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
Just a little bit. 1.03. One litre of pulpy juice
is slightly more than a kilogram.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
I would have thought the pulp would have taken up room. No.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
Should we just double check milk? I'm going to say more.
One litre of milk is? All it's telling is 1.03.
So close. Less or more? More. So more.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
One litre of milk weighs about 1.03.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
One litre of petrol. We did that. Oh, no, that
was oil. One litre of... I'm going to.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Say a little bit more. A 9696 if you want
us to run one of these things.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
I'm on the AI. No, one litre of petrol does
not weigh a kilogram. Typically weighs about 0.71. 0.71 grams.
Weigh less. That's way less. That's significant.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
That's nearly 300 grams less.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
Petrol is less dense than water. It just looks like groundwater.
It does.

Speaker 6 (07:09):
Pink.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, it looks like pink water.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Can you come round and sniff my petrels? I'd love to.
I've got all these canisters of petrels.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Oh, like two-stroke and.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
And I don't know which one goes in the mower
or which one's for a car.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
So most of the time when you add in the two-stroke,
it's blue, so it changes it from like a pink...
Feels like a you problem, bro. I'll come round and
have a smell. Feels like it, yeah. Do that when
you do the hedges. Anyway.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Anyway, yeah, we can agree. Anyway, 9, 6, 9, 6.
What is it? 9, 6, 9, 6.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
60 kgs. At least 60 kgs. Give or take. Of
liquid chlorine in one of those low trolleys. And if
you want to put something on top, you've got to
pull up the finger. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
We didn't even do liquid chlorine. Man, it was heavy.
Liquid chlorine.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
It's going to be more. I reckon it's going to
be 1 kg. It'll be pretty close to water.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Very close. 1.3. Zero eight.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
So slightly heavier than petrol.

Speaker 4 (07:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
I thought so.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
And slightly heavier than the old pulpy orange juice.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
And milk.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
So chlorine would sink.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
I would have thought the pulp would have done more.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
I thought the pulp would have taken away. It also
takes up mass.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
Anyway.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
And then I get to you and I'm sending you
a voice note. Now I think I've got my foot
in front of the front wheel of the trolley. Yep.
And then I hear doof from a distance. Oh, Vaughan.
I've seen the voice note. I've got the tailgate down
on the ute. I'm voice noting. And I turn around
and I'm like, uh-oh, the trolley's gone. And I look
and it's a sloped car park. And it's just made
a beeline through. Now, the next... row of car parks

(08:31):
was empty. So it zoomed right through.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
So it's gathering momentum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More science lessons there.
That's momentum.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Don't get us started on physics in a 60kg trolley.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
We're going to message in, guys, I have just had
a whole science and math lesson in five minutes. Today,
years old. Yeah. A litre of water is a kg.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
You're welcome. Absolutely most welcome. But not a litre of petrol.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
Carry on. Close.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
Close.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
Super close. Not perfect.

Speaker 8 (08:54):
So.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
It has gathered a fair bit of momentum. I'd say,
if anyone can do the maths on this. Yep. Trolley
plus liquid chlorine. Well, we're going to need to know.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
Over 35 metres. Okay.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
I would estimate 35 metres at a five gradient.

Speaker 4 (09:11):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
Five degrees.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
How fast is it going when it's, when it banged
into the.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
What's the gradient? The tilde. The teeter.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
The Nisley teeter.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
Travels how far? 30 metres? 35 metres.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
The trolley's got to be at least 15 kgs.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
At a slope of?

Speaker 1 (09:27):
An incline of 0.5.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
Slope of 0.5. Is that right? Do you want to
know how fast it's going?

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, how fast it would be going. But would it
have hit the Nissan Tita?

Speaker 3 (09:38):
15 kilometres. It hit a Nissan Tita. Which, to be.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Honest, of all the cars it hit, I'm stoked it
was a Tita. Because those things are embarrassing. If you
drove a Tita, I'm sorry, that's embarrassing.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
The mass of the trolley does not affect its final speed. What?
You're telling me a heavy trolley? This is Newton's law
of physics, eh? I'm in here with angles and lines
and numbers and letters.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
And what's AI saying? How fast is it going? Why
the 60 kg mass doesn't matter?

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Gravitational potential energy, MGH as we know, converts entirely into
kinetic energy, which is brackets 1 over 2 MV squared.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
Because mass is on both sides of the equation.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
It cancels out completely. But wait, how fast did it
hit the teeter?

Speaker 3 (10:26):
Tell me the answer. So how fast did it hit
at impact? I heard impact. I didn't see impact.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Now, obviously you didn't see any dings or dents. So
there was a mark. And I went like this. I
went like this. Licked the thumb.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
I love that. Get that off. That'll polish right off.
It'll polish off. Oh, lovely.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Because it was one of the low trolleys, I believe
it must have been the liquid chlorine container that hit it.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
And it was just plastic on plastic.

Speaker 9 (10:54):
Right.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
And it just scrubbed off. Either that or the trolley
took off the exhaust.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
Would you say that the slope was at a gradient
angle of 26.6?

Speaker 1 (11:04):
No, it was just a light slope. Not as steep
as a roof, which I believe is 15 degrees.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Okay, because it's telling me 63 kilometres an hour. No.
That would have destroyed the teeter. That would have torn
the teeter in half. I'll say lighter slope, slightly just
below flat. Because I don't know the language it's going
to use. Because I just think 63.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
Sam said my wife's autistic. And I'd imagine she'd be
absolutely loving this chat when she listens later on. 8.8.
And this is how she'll try to teach our future
kid maths. 8.8 kilometres an hour. In the car park
of Mitre 10.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Fantastic.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
8.8 kilometres an hour that trolley hit, regardless of the
fact that it had 60 kgs in it or not. Fantastic.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Someone said 13 kilometres an hour on the text machine
by their quick maths. Yeah, see, I was thinking, I
said 15.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
13's a good, nah, because that's a fast run. God,
isn't science fun?

Speaker 1 (11:54):
It would have been way more fun at school. Why
didn't I pay attention? I know, if it was like this.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I was like, boys, you know, I want to go
to drama class.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
This is so interesting.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
You were like, how many boys can I fit in
my Nissan Tita? Not what I thought you were going
to say.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
How big are they?

Speaker 3 (12:11):
We can all agree in this day and age that
the term boys will be boys.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
I hate it.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
It's antiquated.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
As a father of daughters, I hate hearing it.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
Yeah, oh, boys will be boys.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
But you also were a boy who will be a boy.
My mum never, ever said boys will be boys.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
Well, it's been used, I think it was used, I
think it was used softly in the context of, you know,
a bit of rough housing and, oh, a bit of,
you know, naughtiness and all that kind of stuff. They
come in dirty and, oh, boys will be boys. And
then over the years it got, you know, used as
a thing of, you know, a bit of locker room
chat and maybe some slight sort of sexual assault. And
then we're going, okay, well, we're not going to use

(12:47):
boys will be boys anymore, actually. You know, men should
be men. So this is a phrase, and I was like, oh, oh,
my God.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
As a woman who definitely has said this before, a
phrase that is, I guess, in danger of becoming this
kind of blanket statement that allows a lot of bullshit behavior.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
And this is aimed at women who say, I hate
men or men are trash. Blanket statement, right? Going like... And,
you know, we do make jokes about, like, not all
men because that was the men's defence when they were
getting called out for pissball behaviour. Well, not all men.
But I hate men.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
It's becoming a go-to, like, cultural coping.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
Mechanism that women are saying, like, all men are trash.
And it's kind of giving the same attitude of this, like, dangerous...
blanket statement that kind of lumps poor behavior into one
category yeah lowers the bar bad behavior gets excused again
just as how men are turns basic decency into something

(13:40):
to praise rather than expect uh creates a double standard
women held to high standards of emotional labor men don't
like it it's but it's women doing it as opposed
to like men making excuses for themselves It's really interesting, like,
labelling all men, which I get, you know, you can
get to a point in your life where maybe, we've

(14:01):
been talking a lot about dating, and you've been through
a number of trash dates or, you know, a number
of failed relationships, then you want to label all men
as inherently trash. But it kind of reframes bad behaviour
as inevitable rather than a choice. Does that make sense
for men? So going like, you're all going to be
this kind of gives women a statement to isolate men,

(14:23):
but also men an excuse to kind of be like, no, yeah,
I suppose that's us then. We're trash and we'll just
keep doing it.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
It's quite a complicated argument in life. Yeah, and then
it isolates the men more, doesn't it, too?

Speaker 3 (14:32):
Yeah, totally. And the people that are making this statement
more powerful, it is women. So women are... Women are
the problem.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Hang on, hang on, hang on.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
Thank you for that.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Thank you for bringing that up.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
It's really like took my interest. It's interesting.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
They're saying like a lot of women's anger, I guess,
over like looking historically is justified. But to then go,
I hate men. What have we done? Looking back through history.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
He jokes, he jests.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
He jokes, he jests. He jokes, he jests.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
He'd never say boys will be boys.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
I think it's that like giving power to a blanket
statement that groups a whole gender in one thing, whether
it's like men are rascals or men are trash, is
inherently bad. And this one is being led by women.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
So before you, if you're like post-breakup and not having
a good time dating.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
Maybe lay off the whole, like, men are trash. Men are,
I hate men.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
Do you know when someone says, not all men, I
cannot even think, have you ever seen that clip with
the fox puppet?

Speaker 4 (15:40):
No.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
And it's like a British, I don't know what's in
this British talk show. It's this fox puppet. It's not
Basil Brush. It's this fox puppet. And he looks at
the female co-host and he's like, not all men. And
she just loses it. What?

Speaker 3 (15:52):
What is she talking about in context of this for
the Fox puppet?

Speaker 1 (15:55):
I don't think explaining memes is ever great on radio, Vaughn.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
No, it never translates. I found it.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
It never translates.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
I remember sitting in a brainstorm very early on in
my radio career and someone chucking an idea of like,
what about a meme of the day? And Fletch being like,
have you ever heard someone try to sort of vocally
describe a meme?

Speaker 6 (16:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
We're just normal men. Just show it to you.

Speaker 4 (16:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (16:22):
The ZN Podcast Network.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Play ZN's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Hello there.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
The IRD have caught on to a scheme. So one
of the things people were doing were claiming back expensive boots.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
I need these for this job. They didn't have the job.

Speaker 3 (16:47):
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 (16:48):
Apparently, Colin and Angela Holder are saying, here's the thing
about pulling a Swifty on the IRD.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
One, it's never going to work.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
No. Two, don't put on social media how you're doing it.
They're not people whose job is to literally expose these
sorts of things, and they're putting on children on social media. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
I mean, you literally have to submit your bank account
with highlighted things, and then if they look at it,
you have to prove how that works.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Because we're like, well, I'm a freelancer. Vaughan, you do
freelance stuff. Fletch, you couldn't be bothered anymore.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
No, I retired. But for all my acting or comedy stuff,
I claim heaps of stuff. Like grooming, we can claim.
Gym memberships, we can claim. But some of it, they
crack down on it ages ago. Yeah. They're like, because
you wore a T-shirt on television, Hon. You can't go
to Moochie every week and be like, Hey.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
You can claim a percentage, but it's a very low percentage. 5%.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
It's 5% now.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Who was it that was claiming, and I said, that's
taking the piss. They were claiming the space in their
wardrobe where they stored clothes that they wore on television
as an additional home office.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Additional home office.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
An additional space to their home office.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
So they reckon that they've stomped $ 4 million in bogus claims.
And yeah, they reckon it was people in the transport industry.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
Wow. Crazy.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
And they even reckon the IRD said that they've had
several customers come to their offices in Auckland and Wellington
earlier in the week wanting to reset their MyIR passwords
so they could amend their returns because they'd heard about
the scam and they were like, oh.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Just chuck some.
Crazy. So they came into the office.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Why didn't they just do a forgot your password and
get them out of there?

Speaker 3 (18:26):
I'll just pop down. I'll just pop down. Gosh.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Anyway.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
Bless.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Well, I've got the top six things you can't claim
through the IRD according to my accountant. Because I've tried
a few of these. Okay.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
Number six on the list. Did you run these past Helen?

Speaker 1 (18:38):
Did you?

Speaker 3 (18:38):
You did not.

Speaker 6 (18:39):
No.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
I'm literally annoying her right now. But this is my experience. Izzy,
who used to work with Helen. God, I miss her.
Izzy said I like Mrs. Doubtfire whenever she called.

Speaker 4 (18:46):
I'll bet.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
She pops in every now and then. Yeah, she still
does a bit. I've got to admit, she's lovely. We've
got a busy GST period here, Lisa. I need to know,
what was this project you were doing?

Speaker 1 (18:55):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
When you were on tour, love, did you drive your
own car? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
Oh.

Speaker 8 (18:59):
So lovely.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
Hello, darling. Now, we can't claim this blazer.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
No.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
No, no, please. No, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
No, darling.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
Sorry, darling.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
No. Top six things you can't claim through the IID.
Number six on the list, speeding tickets.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
I tried. Ellen said no.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Because I was speeding to get to a recording of
Have You Been Paying Attention?

Speaker 3 (19:18):
Because I missed this job. And I got a speeding ticket.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
No.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
She's like, no, they don't. They don't. No.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
You can't claim that as a business expense. That's all new,
is it? This was a whole new world, like, when
I was just P-A-Y-E. You know, you get your salary.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
And then you find out that you can claim all
these things. Because, you know, in Australia... Dude, Australia's nuts.
Australia's got a really good system. You can just claim
normal things for your job, even if you don't have
a business. Like, if you needed a laptop for your work,
you could claim that. Oh. And, like, stuff, eh?

Speaker 3 (19:45):
You pay higher tax, eh?

Speaker 1 (19:47):
But there's more ways of getting some tax back. Oh.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
Interesting. Sunscreens.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
I knew someone with their job. Outside? It was an
outside day, so they could claim back a big chunk
of sunscreen.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
Hats and sunscreen.

Speaker 4 (19:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
Number five on the list. And a moochie blazer.

Speaker 7 (20:00):
No.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
Wood to cover from the sun.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Top six things you can't claim from the IID. A
weekend at a winery filed under team building. Now, a
weekend's a bit of a piss take. A lunch, though.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
A lunch. You can get away.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
With a lunch.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
Lunch is 50-a. Lunch, if we, if the three of
us had lunch to discuss that, you know, that.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Film we've been writing, the movie.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
It's 50% entertainment, 50%.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
50% deduction.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
Yeah, 50%.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
Some of our bills we've had for lunch, Hayley, 50%
might still be taking the piss.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
$ 900 for three. But, man, the ideas were brewing. The
ideas were flowing.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
That was like a table of like seven people.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
But a whole weekend is a piss day. Is it?

Speaker 1 (20:39):
The whole weekend's a piss day. Number four on the
list of the top six things you can't climb through
the IRD. A new couch because you think about work
while sitting on it.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
I had my eye.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
On a very lovely chair. Very lovely leather recliner. What
if you put that leather Chesterfield in your office? Underneath
the desk. as a computer chair. Again, bit of a
piss take. Number three on the list of the top
six things you can't claim through the IAD, your entire
streaming subscriptions as market research. Now, you get away with

(21:11):
one or two. You get away with a couple.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
You get away with a couple.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
You get away with a couple. It's called reference and research. Yeah,
it is reference and research. And now, if you're a
sports journalist, you can get away with Sky Sports, not
the movie package.

Speaker 4 (21:22):
No.

Speaker 6 (21:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
As someone who wrote a movie for a while, I
was like, yeah, I've got to watch a lot of
movies to figure out how to write one of these
damn things. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Number two on the list of the top six things
you can't claim through the IID, the family dog is security.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
Oh, hang on.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
Someone's got to watch.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
But I'll tell you what you can do. If your
dog has to go into a doggy daycare because you
need to be away for work, it would be the
same as paying for childcare, technically.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
Can you claim childcare if you're a freelancer and you've
got to, care for a job. I believe so, yeah. See,
another way that people who have kids are just getting
one up on us, Fletch. Maternity leave. Do you ever
see the gifts that Bree's been receiving?

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
And me. Not me. Fletch, we've got to have a kid.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
And number one, come on guys, have a kid for
tax purposes. Send the best parents ever.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah. And then we still go on holiday every year
and we're like, I don't know. Sean and Gerard can
look after us.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
Let's write the holiday off as a work expense and
the kid can go to childcare and that's tax deductible
as well.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
Your girl's 14 now. She'll look after her.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
She'll start a company to charge you professionally through the
books and everyone's ticking up a little deduction. And number
one on the list of the top six things you
can't claim through the IOD, a little treat each day
just to get you going.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
No. How did they expect me to work? Just a
little treat.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
Chippies or something.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
And then the gym membership to work off the tree.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
To work off the tree.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
To keep doing my job. To work off the tree.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
So that is today's top six. I got a little
PSA for the.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
A pisser. A pisser for the hay fever girlies. Dude,
that's me.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
And the boys. The boys get the hay fever.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
Not like we do, eh? The gays, man.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
The gays get it bad.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
The gays. Oh, the gays get... What sneezy gay out
of our friends do you know? All of them. Who?

Speaker 1 (23:12):
All of the gaggle.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
Get hay fever. Matt, Mike, Sean, Gerard, Matt. All of them.
Are you just making that up? No, Ryan gets particularly...
Both Tods. Both... James. James.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Oh, I'm big hearted, James.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
I've never seen them sneeze once, but they're hay fever girlies. Right,
I sneeze like hell, and I live next to a
pine forest.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, which they're cutting down at the moment and not
replacing with anything.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
It's so gorsy. It's like gorse. It's ugly. The forest
ranger's got a lot to answer for. What's it doing
to the value of my property?

Speaker 1 (23:42):
I've got to say, it rained at my place, and
then when the rain dried off the deck, it was
full of yellow pine pollen.

Speaker 3 (23:49):
And I was like, uh-oh. It's the season. It is
the season to be sneezing. Me too. And I've got
a white house. Yeah. And it gets covered. My cars
get covered. My dick gets covered.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
What does having a white house have to do with
getting a show up? Well, you can see the pollen
because it's like yellow.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah, it's really like bright yellow. Yeah. Darling, it covered
my spa pool lid. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry
to get Jeeves.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
You see, our friend Matt's messaging, he doesn't get hay fever.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
That's not what he said.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
He says, I never sneeze. He's a two-claritine-a-day guy. He
bookends the day with a claritine.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
You only need one.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Sometimes you need two. That too.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Really nip it in the bud.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
Right.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
So it's pine season.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
It's pine season. Because when we get a nice break,
us hay fever girlies, over winter, it kind of like
goes away. Pulls back a little bit. I've had the
claritine out because my bestie was staying. She's allergic to cats.
So I'm ready to go. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
Yeah, I'm ready to go.

Speaker 4 (24:36):
Right.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
This is miserable.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
It's just a moment of silence for everybody.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
Especially Matt. Very sneezy.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
It's just like one thing after the next. Because you've
got your adult acne.

Speaker 3 (24:46):
I've got my adult acne raging at the moment. I
don't need to sneeze. If it's not one thing, it's another.
At the end, sneezing? The hits just keep coming. And
they don't stop coming. And they hit the ground running.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Achoo!

Speaker 6 (24:59):
Boom!

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Now, you may remember I got stung by a wasp
and I was rummaging through a box that was going
to the Salvation Army. You know when you get donated
to the Salvation Army and then you're like, oh, do
I want that?

Speaker 3 (25:17):
And you do one more little look through the box.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
I've done that when I get there with the box
and I'm taking it out of the back of the car.
I'll be like, actually, I do want that.

Speaker 6 (25:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
Oh, I'm not ready to part with that. You can't
have that. I actually dropped off a lovely box to
the lovely ladies at the SPCA in Kiumiu yesterday.

Speaker 6 (25:31):
Oh, yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (25:32):
That op shop, great op shop. They're in need of donations.
Great op shop. They'll turn me away.

Speaker 7 (25:35):
Do they?

Speaker 3 (25:35):
They don't want clothes and things. Oh, my God, they
literally messaged me and then I turned up and they're like,
thank you so much. Your stuff is so beautiful.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
They don't want the clothes that you've worn to death
for the last 10 years. No, no, no, no, that's
just clothes.

Speaker 3 (25:45):
Because I dropped them like moochie, koto, some nice light stuff.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Oh, I was dropping my old undies and some socks
that I don't want. Yeah, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (25:52):
I don't want that. I don't want that.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
A purple Hallenstein suit.

Speaker 6 (25:55):
Like.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
They just don't want a maroon.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
With like large lapels, yeah. I'm telling you, purple's on
its way back, baby. You want this in the store.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
So I had this box ready to go to SPCA
and I had a little rummage and I got stung, right?
And then the next day I turned up being like,
I think I'm superior than this wasp.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
Like nothing. No itch, no swell, no nothing. I was like,
suck it, wasp. Struggle straight for you, bro. You didn't
get me. The thing, oh my God, today it is
burning hot. Oh my God, it's real fat. It's fat.
I woke up this morning and was like, thank God
I took my rings off before I went to bed
because I wouldn't have been able to get it off.
It's so itchy and tight and hard and red. And

(26:35):
I was like, they got me.

Speaker 6 (26:37):
But.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
Here's what's made it sweet. This is why I'm okay
with the swell today. Yesterday, back in the garage doing
my mahi, getting that thing ready for the reno. And
after I had discovered it was a wasp, I shunt
it to the side like this. And it had landed
on a set of seven kg dumbbells that sat there,
you know, have sat there collecting rust.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Since COVID.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
Since COVID. Since I got ripped in COVID the last
time I got ripped at home.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
And I saw the wasp land on it and I
was like, you bloody sucker, right?

Speaker 4 (27:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
Yesterday, I was out in the garage again organising and
I go to move the weights and I grip my
hand around the seven kg dumbbell and the same wasp
doesn't sting me but it gets on my hand and
I was like.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
You bastard, you're still there, you haven't died. Do they
have the multiple stingers?

Speaker 3 (27:25):
Yeah, they're fine. Bees sting and die.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Bees, yeah, because they pull out and it rips, they die.
They do the withdrawal method. They can unscrew themselves, bees.
But it takes him a long time.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
Oh, okay. And usually you would be like.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Most of the time you flick it off, yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
You flick it off. This is the same guy. I
recognise him in his eye, you know. I could feel
his attitude. It was the same guy. Tried to sting
me again and I had my vengeance. I flicked him
on the ground and I picked up that seven kg
dumbbell that he's been living on, barely surviving for seven
kgs and I crushed him like this. Like that and
he's dead now, isn't he? Yeah, okay. Felt so good.

(28:01):
And then for some reason I was like moving all
these bits of furniture and stuff. A hilarious day yesterday actually.
I'm moving all these bits of furniture and I turn
around and there's this like single door, you know, like
if the garage door was closed, you'd go through that
little single door. And I look on the glass and
I'm like, what is that? And I'd say there's like
50 wasps all around. on the glass of this thing.

(28:26):
Not in their usual papery, yucky-looking nest. Just all clustered
around this. It's not wasp season.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
It's weird that you've got... This is the time of
the year where it gets too cold for them and
they die. Well, that's why they're in the garage.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
They're in the garage. They're in Patsy and Craig's upcoming property.
All on the... On the glass. I was like, oh,
this is so weird. What, did you get the spray
out or something? Better believe it. I killed them and
their families.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, nice one.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Wow, I just destroyed that whole place.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
All because he made my finger a bit fat and tight. Yeah. God,
it felt good to get vengeance. Like, I understand it now. Right.
The idea of vengeance, a life for a life. Not
only did I kill the guy who stung me. His
entire family. I turn around and I see his community, actually.
His entire community.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
So it was his family, extended iwi.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Yeah. You're just like. And I said words as well.
Did you spray him or squish him? Spray him. And
they all dropped to the floor and then I sucked
them up in my garage vacuum cleaner. Wait, are they
still in the vacuum cleaner? No, no, no, they're in
the bin.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
I was going to say a vacuum cleaner, a nice
warm spot to set up a nest. Nice fluff.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
It's got the one tunnel in and out. Yeah, I'm
already doing them a favour. All dead, suck it.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
The Fletchborn and Hayley Big Pod.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
Fletchborn and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole,
silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly
little pole.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
Well, Silly Little Pole, we put these up on our
Instagram story every day and we ask.

Speaker 3 (29:59):
You to vote on them and then we give you
the results.

Speaker 4 (30:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
As per your voting.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Now, at the moment, if you go and do it,
you can do the Quickie Little Pole, which was my
submission for a Silly Little Pole, except it came in
too late. So later in the show, Quickie Little Pole,
if you had to have one, would you rather have the.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Poos or the spews?

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Because you licked your fingers after cooking, eating or cutting
raw chicken. I was making something with raw chicken and
then I found myself, I mean... And licked and ate
a bit of the raw chicken.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Were you testing the marinade or something? No, you know
when you've got something on your finger and you're just like, yuck. No,
in general, if I have something on my finger, I'll
wipe it on a surface or something. If I'm in
the kitchen, I'm licking. I'm only licking if I know
what's on my fingers. If I'm certain of it. Trying
to forget. Well, that's Quickie Little Pole. That's coming up soon.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
But Silly Little Pole today is, were you paid for
chores as a kid? God, no.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Do the chores, get some pocket money.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
I was given money if I was doing a thing, like, oh,
me and Jess are going, could I have this?

Speaker 3 (30:56):
But not specifically because I did chores.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Right.

Speaker 3 (30:59):
You do chores. If I said, can I have money,
they'd be like, no, you get dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get a roof over your head. You get clothes on
your back. What do you want, a medal? I can
remember that being said.

Speaker 6 (31:06):
Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
Or you just get a hiding.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
No, pay for the power bill. Mom, I'm finished the lawns.
Thanks for that. And then you stand there and she's like,
what are you waiting for, a medal? Go do the
next one. I'm not appreciated in this house.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
When you were paid to do your chores, the options
we gave you were yes, I got paid extra for
specific chores. I had to do chores to get my
pocket money or no. 50% of you, no, you weren't
paid to do chores.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yeah, fair enough.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
41% of you said I had to do chores to
get my pocket money. And 10% of you said yes,
I got paid extra for specific chores.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
Hmm.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
There might have been extra things you could have got
money for, but yeah, it was very rare.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
Bigger jobs.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
Specific things like clean the gutters or something. No, I've
never cleaned the gutters in my life.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
That's also a dangerous chore to have a job doing.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
I know. Also, my dad wouldn't want his precious girl
up there doing it.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
No.

Speaker 3 (31:57):
Up the ladder running your hands along sharp corrugated iron. Yeah.
Not really. Not really for the kids. Some messages in.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
Jamie said, because I was a girl and that's what
girls are for, according to my dad.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
No, I was not paid. Do the money.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
You know, it was a different time.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
Well, Dan's just getting her ready for those three months
of the year that women aren't paid as much as men.

Speaker 8 (32:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
When's that kicking in? Must be soon. I think it's October, eh?
It's October.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
It's always around Labor Weekend. I remember people saying, from
here on out, women are working for free.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
On average.

Speaker 4 (32:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
October, you say. Maybe after Labor Weekend it won't come back.
We'll see how that goes. Sinead says, no, I'm one
of seven.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
So imagine how immaculate the house would be if we
were getting paid to do chores. But in all honesty,
you couldn't tell nine people lived in our houses. My
mum always had it spotless, not a crumb in sight,
not a dish in the.

Speaker 3 (32:49):
Sink at any point. Wow. Seven children. Seven children and
she had time. The things I'd have to do to
get attention to cut through that. I was going to
say that.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Because the middle child syndromes generally allows for three kids.
One in the middle. Then five, the one in the middle. Seven,
the one in the middle must be insane. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
The one in the middle.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
It'll always forget you there. Yeah, yeah. Who are you?
Where'd you come from?

Speaker 7 (33:12):
Hayley.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Seven. Jeepers.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
One, two, three. So I'm even thinking that's too many
kids for a Mitsubishi sports pack van.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
No, you've got a bus.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Yeah, you're going to need one of those little minivans
from Japan.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
That speaks in Japanese. Older ones are on the bikes.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
Whenever you do anything. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
Could you have sort of a trailer?

Speaker 1 (33:28):
Like a super shuttle. Where the luggage goes.

Speaker 3 (33:31):
The lid's shut so the cops don't see you.

Speaker 6 (33:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Super Shuttle. Four or three or four kids in the back.
Here come the Sprouse and the Super Shuttle.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
Artie said, yes, but it was $ 5 to clean the
inside and outside of mum's car.

Speaker 3 (33:43):
So really, it took so long, it wasn't worth it.

Speaker 4 (33:45):
Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
There is a no pay for chores in our house
because it's part of running a household.

Speaker 8 (33:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
That comes from Erin. I reckon Erin runs a ton.
You make the mess, you clean it up.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
Wendy said, I didn't get paid, but I also really
didn't have chores. Well, that's fair enough then.

Speaker 3 (33:59):
That's... Neutral. Yeah, it's neutral. I've got a roof over
your head. That's what we were told.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Do your chores and keep a roof over your head.
Look around. That's what my mum used to say. Look around.
Who do you think's paying for this? Not me, eh? No,
not me. I'm sick, mum. It's definitely not me.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
In the weekends, my sister and I would pick up
dad's cigarette butts that he flicked out the kitchen window
for five cents a butt. We had to collect them
and count them and our fingers stuck, but it was
easy money.

Speaker 6 (34:26):
Eh.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
Poo. Poo.

Speaker 8 (34:29):
Poo.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Poo.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
I like that, though.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
Poo.

Speaker 8 (34:30):
Poo.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Poo. Yuck.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yum.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Tessa said, in my parents' theory, I kept my room
clean and they set up an automatic payment to my
FBOS card. In reality, I had a floor drobe and
they just forgot to cancel it.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
Oh, okay. Oh, you win-win. Win-win.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
$ 2 for washing Dad's car in the 90s? Wonder what
the going rate was in 2026 for washing the car.
$ 2 for washing the car.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
I got $ 2.

Speaker 6 (34:51):
02.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
Even a.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Car wash at the Servos.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
$ 18?

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Yeah, it's expensive.

Speaker 3 (34:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
What's $ 2? I'm just going to go in there.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
What's $ 2, NZ, from 1996? Worth now. Worth in today's money.
Worth now. Because it was different back then, wasn't it?
Inflation calculator. Yeah, inflation.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Oh, no, it's saying that a $ 2 coin printed in
1996 is circulated at $ 2.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
No, we're not talking about the value of it.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
Oh, okay, inflation adjustment, it would be roughly $ 4.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
50. Okay.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
$ 2 in 1996 is about $ 4.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
50 now. There's so many lollies.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
I feel like chocolate's gone up more than that just
in the last year. Oh, 100%.

Speaker 4 (35:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
That's chockflation. It runs at a different level. Kind of
like how oil weighs less than water. It's a throwback
to earlier in the morning. Not as much as poppy
orange juice and milk. You just joined us. I reckon
I'd give this show a red hot podcast listen.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
From 6am.

Speaker 3 (35:49):
We had a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Some physics earlier in the show. Some incredible physics.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
I listen on iHeart. Or wherever you podcast. Yeah, you
can podcast anywhere.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
So little Paul, were you paid as a kid to
do your chores 50%? You said no way, Jose.

Speaker 9 (36:02):
The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Dolly Parton died yesterday and then this morning wake up
to news that Tim Curry has died. Nigel Thornberry to
one generation. The Rocky Horror Picture Show to another. Tim
Curry did it. massive range of things.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
Dude, the gay community utterly rocked. Losing two gay legends,
Tim Curry from Rocky Horror. He was the original Pennywise
in the It. Yeah, I know. Stephen King It miniseries.
With his big smile.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
He was a great actor.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
Phenomenal.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
He was the bad guy in Home Alone 2.

Speaker 3 (36:32):
The hotel.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Not the bad guy, but he was running the hotel manager.
That's right, with the moustache. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
He's the one who's listening at the door when it's like, yeah.
you know, the... The Tommy Gunn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he's a legend.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
He passed away same age. By the way, the same
day and they sat.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
On it because.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
They would because he.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Deserves a parade. I just don't think....

Speaker 1 (36:53):
His family had been unwell and he'd kind of taken
himself out of his father. Had a major stroke in 2012. Yeah.
I just don't think his family felt the need to
immediately announce it every week.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
But they did. They announced that he passed away. Bloody
terrible news. So an interview was unearthed. It was done
a few, what, 10 years ago with Dolly Parton.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Where she was speaking about what song. It was Entertainment
Weekly in 2014. It was after Whitney Houston had died. And,
of course, Whitney Houston's Big I Will Always Love You
from The Bodyguard was originally a Dolly Parton song.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
And Dolly sings it so beautifully.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Yeah, Dolly sings it so nicely. And a lot of
people didn't even know that, did they? No. Until Whitney Houston.
And there's this legendary story that Elvis' people said, yeah, well,
Elvis will sing the song, but we want 50%.

Speaker 3 (37:33):
And Dolly Parton's like, you didn't get anything.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
She's like, no.

Speaker 3 (37:35):
I'm Dolly Parton, bitch. Yeah. So she said, no doubt.
Pardon me. No, just one side note that you know
she's sitting on a song to be released in 2046.
Do you know this?

Speaker 8 (37:46):
No.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
She's written a song and it's like in a thing,
like not to be played till 2046.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
So her 100 year anniversary. She would have been 100
in 2046.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
Crazy, yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
Okay, that's cool.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
Something to look for. Put it in the cowl. Chuck
that in the cowl.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
She said Whitney Houston's I Always Love You was played
at Whitney Houston's funeral around the time, and she said,
I'm sure they'll play that one. But she said, at
my funeral, I want the same song they sung at
my father's funeral, If We Never Meet Again. There's a
Johnny Cash version of it.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
It's a really lovely song. I've got the Johnny Cash one.
I've heard this song at funerals. I'm going to get
my period in the next couple of days. Why are
we doing this? I just live a big fizzy cry
in my nose. That's the first song.

Speaker 5 (38:31):
I love.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
Because we're going to ask listeners. That's what we're doing.
This is mine. This is a Queen song called Let
Me Live. And I want people to know I'm not
happy to be dead. So your funeral song is like,
I did not want this.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
Let me live. I didn't want this.

Speaker 6 (38:46):
Let me live.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
Right. And people would be like, oh, you know, she
would have been great. You know, she'd be free. And
they'd be like, no, she was gutted. She wants to live.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Because I'm choosing Katy Perry Firework.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
Okay, we'll get there. Dude, you're a plastic bag. I've
got it. I've got it. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Because we're burying you in a plastic bag, aren't we?
As per your wishes. So that I last longer.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
Okay, we're all standing.

Speaker 4 (39:07):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Oh, no, we're under the box.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
No, I'm going to get cremated.

Speaker 3 (39:11):
You get cremated after the funeral. Oh, do you?

Speaker 4 (39:13):
Yeah, we are.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
We're at the front. We're burning you in the plastic bag.
It's going to stink, man. This is it. What a
great song for a funeral. And we'll know, Vaughan, that
we did it because we pushed them off the back
of the boat as per our agreement. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
Wrap them up in a rug.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
See you later.

Speaker 6 (39:30):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
On a sponsored Disney cruise. We're at the front.

Speaker 4 (39:33):
Cowards.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
We did it. Whoopsie. Whoopsie. Okay, so this is a
question we want to know.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Also, like, bonus points if you've been to a funeral
and there was a wild out of place song.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
Oh, heaps of people would do wild stuff. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vaughan,
why did you stop Katy Perry fighting? She was playing
Katy Perry. Sorry, darling.

Speaker 6 (39:51):
Sorry, darling.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
No, sorry.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
It's my funeral song.

Speaker 8 (39:53):
Sorry.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:54):
So this is what we want to know. Yeah, we're
already rolling.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
0800DARLSATM. You can call us. You can text through as well. 9696.
What song is.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
Going to be played at your funeral?

Speaker 9 (40:03):
The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
Dolly Parton, in an interview 10 years ago, spoke about
the song she wants at her funeral. When We Meet Again?

Speaker 3 (40:17):
Beautiful song.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah, sadly, yesterday the news that she'd passed. Makes sense
at a funeral. Now, we've asked you what is the
song that's going to play at your funeral.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
Some of these. Absolutely wild. Ali, what song?

Speaker 6 (40:27):
So I went to a funeral and the main song
was Sunderstruck.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Oh, my gosh. ACDC? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 6 (40:36):
And it was interesting because the person that had passed
away was a very quiet person who you would not
have thought would be into that.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
This is badass, actually. If your coffin's coming down the aisle, you're...
It's not normally like sports or something, eh?

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Yeah, and it's.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
The jealous family cheerleaders.

Speaker 6 (40:54):
It was really cool and you couldn't cry because you're
too busy rocking.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
Yeah, I like that. Pick up the mood. It's a celebration,
not a commiseration.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
This was the plan, but then if you died by
electrocution or an actual lightning strike, would you change?

Speaker 3 (41:06):
Execute the plan, no. No, you'd execute the plan. I
think it would make it even better. Yeah. Make it
even better. The irony. Yeah, exactly. Ali, thank you.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Let's go to Brooke. Brooke, what song was at the funeral?

Speaker 7 (41:21):
Who lets dogs out?

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Wait, so you actually went to a funeral with this plate?

Speaker 6 (41:25):
Yeah, he was a young guy who died suddenly. It
was really sad, but I don't think I've ever cried
to that song until that time.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
I don't know. I don't think I've had a weep
to this. Was it like his favourite song? Yeah, what's
the story behind it? Or was he being a silly billy? Oh,
I think it was like an anthem.

Speaker 7 (41:43):
From when we were younger.

Speaker 6 (41:43):
You know, it kind of came out and it was
just a theme song, I guess.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:48):
Oh, God.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
It's so sad, isn't it? I mean, it is kind of...
You've got to laugh at a funeral, man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
Brooke, thank you. Hannah, what was the song at the funeral?

Speaker 4 (41:57):
So, it was actually my dad's funeral, and he was
a big fan of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
Oh, God, what he would have hated today. And he
ended up.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
Playing the time warp, and everyone got up and did
the time warp together.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
Oh, I love that. And then... I actually just got
a little chill up my thigh.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
Yeah. Madness.

Speaker 3 (42:15):
Because, again, it's like you've got to... Celebrate the life.

Speaker 4 (42:20):
Yeah, because that was Dad. He loved the Rocky Horror
Picture Show, so.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
Time all that's different with tears in your eyes.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
I am. I was thinking, I'm due a Rocky Horror
Picture Show rewatch this weekend after the death of Tim
Curry today. I want to go to the annual one
where you get dressed up and everyone goes crazy.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
And sings and you throw things. Yeah, that would be
so much fun. Oh, I'm starting to hear about your dad,
but great move from him. Great move. Great move, Hannah.
Thank you, Hannah. Let's go to Steph.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
Steph, what was the song at the funeral?

Speaker 6 (42:50):
My auntie played Stumbling In, which was quite fitting given
that in her slideshow there was an espresso martini or
a glass of wine in every photo.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
Stumbling In.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
Are we talking the original Suzy Cuatro or are we
talking the Cyril remix?

Speaker 6 (43:04):
No, the Cyril remix.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Oh, we play this all the time.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
Auntie!

Speaker 6 (43:08):
For a woman in her 60s, it was a little
bit out there.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Oh my God, I love that.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
And was everyone just like, what, have you played the
right song? Yeah. I love it.

Speaker 6 (43:16):
There was a few chuckles and sideways looks for sure,
but us young ones were like, yep, that works.

Speaker 3 (43:21):
I love it. I love that. That's so good.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
I like that people are going a little bit different
and making it happy rather than like a really sad,
slow song.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
Yeah. Sorry, carry on.

Speaker 6 (43:33):
She planned it all herself, so she knew exactly what
she was doing.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
She planned it. That's pretty cool. So we have hundreds
of text messages on. Thank you, Steph. Now, when I
hit you with a list... From the text machine. Out
of order. Sorry, that's still me. He's DJing here.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Somebody said we had Chariots of Fire.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Like, bring me into this. This is brilliant.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Kind of epic.

Speaker 3 (43:58):
Somebody had....

Speaker 1 (44:06):
That's the explicit version, so I'll stop that.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Get out of there straight away.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Eminem. Queen's another one, Bites the Dust. That's a bit
of a funny.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
That's funny. That's good.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
That means they had a sense of humour. A sense
of humour. They had a sense of humour. ABBA, Dancing Queen.
That's a nice song to... You know I hate ABBA
so much. Even if I was at someone's funeral and
they loved ABBA, I'd be like.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
Literally be like, this was my mum's favourite song.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Enjoy.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
And you're like... And Fletch is like, oh, I hate
this song.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
Next.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
Turn it off. No one likes this. Fletch, at a funeral.
No one likes this song. We've literally told him, to
hate ABBA is homophobic. That's homophobic. No one likes this song.
Next song.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
Now, we've had many messages for Now You're Gone by
Bass Hunter.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yeah. Oh, wow. I mean, the message is there. I
get it. But also... Now you're gone. I realised my
love for you was gone. That's a bit different, eh? Crazy.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Someone said there's a Queen song called Who Wants to
Live Forever.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
It's too sad because Freddie sung it towards the end
of his life. Someone said they... Who Wants to Live Forever.
Literally me. You want to live forever.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
Why?

Speaker 3 (45:06):
Vampire. Because I'm the sinner of it all. You know
what I mean? I don't want to not exist.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Someone was literally cremated to girl on fire by alleged case.
Someone messaged her. They went to a funeral and they
were just like, this isn't a present.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
No, they weren't. Apparently, yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Wait, she chose, they chose the song?

Speaker 3 (45:24):
She chose it. Apparently chose it. That's so funny. It
was another cremation one.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
I love that people are that dark in their final moments.
They're like, you know what? I've got two funeral songs,
and if I die from an infectious disease, I'm having
Ben Lee's Catch My Disease as my funeral song. Dies from, like,
COVID or influenza or... Can we go to the chorus
of that song?

Speaker 3 (45:48):
Do you know the best... Oh, that's funny.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
One of the funniest parts of COVID was being in
the supermarket masked up.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
Only a certain amount of people were allowed in.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
You had to line up, two metre gaps, everything. And
then this song came on the supermarket radio. I was
just like, I don't know if this is on purpose,
but I like it. How about this?

Speaker 3 (46:09):
What?

Speaker 1 (46:11):
No.

Speaker 3 (46:12):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
No. So we messaged in. They want Savage Swing at
their funeral. They also put in brackets on white, by
the way, just so they wanted us.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
To know that. Hell of a song to carry the
coffin out with.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Because you have to do.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
The dancing like those Nigerian fellows that are big online.

Speaker 4 (46:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Susie messaged, my auntie had Bad Outta Hell by Meat Life.

Speaker 4 (46:34):
Yeah, great song.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
Like a bad out of hell, be gone when the
morning comes. I mean, that's great. Great song. There was
another really funny, I'm just searching for it, really funny
cremation song.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
Someone said Yellowbird was my grandad's favourite. And Ola Mukopuna
sung it on the way when he was being carried out.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
It was quite a moving song.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yellowbird, is that the, didn't Eaglebird Humbert do a version
of Yellowbird? I just searched yellow and it came up with.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
What, no idea what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 (47:04):
I just searched yellow and it came up with yellow card.
Ocean Avenue, also open for funeral songs should you need to.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
I think this could be my text of the week.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
Okay, our text thing of the week.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
Ends in 200. We were laughing about the fact that
Fletch is going to get cremated in a plastic bag.
Someone said, so Fletch is being laminated.

Speaker 4 (47:21):
What?

Speaker 1 (47:23):
Yeah, because to Katy Perry, firework, like a plastic bag.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
Can I give that text of the week, please?

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Absolutely. Text of the week, thanks to Animates, making happy happen.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Put a star next to that.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
A $ 50 Animates voucher for that.

Speaker 7 (47:34):
The Fletchmore and Hayley Big Pod.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
You know Chrissy Teigen? I like Chrissy Teigen. She's done
some problematic things, I think. Yeah, didn't she.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Didn't she really rip off your mate from the baking show?

Speaker 3 (47:45):
Yeah, she did rip off my mate. Didn't she rip
off the cake lady?

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Anyway, so she's been bringing this up.

Speaker 3 (47:52):
She's 40 years old.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
Is she?

Speaker 3 (47:55):
So significantly older than me. By four? Three and a
half months. Three and a half years. Okay, right, yeah.
So about low-rise pants, hallmark of the early 2000s. Man,
I hit those lows rise. Man, you made a funny joke.
What was the joke you made, Fletch, about the pubes

(48:15):
out the top? Oh, my God. Oh, I've forgotten it.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Fletch made the funniest joke, Vaughan, about being able to
see your pubes out the top of your jeans.

Speaker 3 (48:24):
Oh, my God, it was so funny. I can't remember.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
When did he make it?

Speaker 3 (48:27):
At the gym. It was so funny. Oh, I wasn't there. Oh,
damn it. Anyway, funny joke.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
But they were so low that I can see, you know,
the top of your pubis, Mondas.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
That was the trend. And then they came back.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
And a lot of us, heading towards 40 or older
or in our 30s or anything, really, were just like,
I don't know that this is for us.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
Because I've got... A lot going on. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Even in the 2000s, I didn't dabble with low-rise jeans.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
Didn't you?

Speaker 6 (48:52):
I don't, man.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
Did you?

Speaker 6 (48:53):
No.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
Because guys were.

Speaker 7 (48:54):
What?

Speaker 3 (48:55):
Yeah, they were.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Yeah, but they had their boxes at the top. Yeah,
you've got to have your boxes at the top.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
Are you talking about, like, riding them low?

Speaker 6 (49:01):
No.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
I think this is specifically women with a low rise
where the cut is low.

Speaker 3 (49:05):
Yeah, like Christina Aguilera. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
That's who I think of when I think of low-rise jeans.
Because she, yeah, wore them in the dirty video and, like,
would often... Those were arseless chaps. I'm sorry, but only
skinny people can pull this off. Tiny, tiny, tiny, low.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Because mine... it'll go over the top.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
You get muffin top.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
It's the muffin. And the muffin top, my muffins. Do
you know the muffin man? I know him very well.
It's soft. It's looser now. So the muffin top doesn't
even have as much puff. My muffin is not as
puffin as it used to be. It's softer. It'll floop.
I think. So it's more of a sourdough. I'm a fluctuator.
And the skin isn't bouncing back in the way I hoped.
So Chrissy Teigen's dilemma, she was like, you know what?

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Let's sell that ship. Like, this is a young person's game.
Let's not make this fashion.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
We're not doing this.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
No, but then other celebrities like the Biebers and the,
you know, the Jenners and the Kardashians were like, yeah,
we can do this.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
But they are young. Because we get our fupas sucked out. No,
they're not. The Kardashians are older than the 40s. The
Kardashians are young. Kim loves. Kim loves. So people are
saying it's like, it's a young person's game. And I
just think it's not about age. It's about what age does.
To the body. Yeah, yeah. We shouldn't be kept out
of fashion because we've expanded. Just there's other options. You

(50:19):
don't have to wear low-rise jeans.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
I'm sure, like, when it was in the early 2000s and, like,
my mum's generation were like, well, we can't wear that
because of.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
All the bits. You're just a bit older now. Just
under the tip. Genes under the table. I don't want
my fupa going over the top. I want my boobs
almost going over the top. That's how high I want
my genes. Olivia Wilde, 42 years old. She wears low-rise
jeans all the time.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
She's very thin. We can't be comparing ourselves to these people.
They are living a different lifestyle. Comparison is the theft
of joy. You know, she doesn't get to like munch
a big delicious toasted sandwich.

Speaker 3 (50:49):
That's not her game. We do.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
We don't get to wear the low-rise jeans. It's all
ebbs and flows, baby. Let's not compare ourselves to people online.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
I totally agree. And I actually think that's an exchange
I think is quite fair. I'll take the toasty over
those jeans any day.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Dude, I may have a toasty sandwich every day of
the week over a pair of low-rise jeans. I don't
have the pubes for it. I don't have the pubes
for it.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
Oh, I have the pubes for it.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
Too many pubes. I've got to quickly tell the story.
It's an old story.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Fletch was there. It was very funny.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
We were doing a concert and the Fast Crew were
playing and it was in the age of the low-rise jeans.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
Do you remember this? I'm going to tell it. And
I've got.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
He's rolling his eyes at me. I wouldn't say who. Well,
there was only one female in the fast group. No,
we're not saying this.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
Not for one minute did I ever doubt you.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Yeah, they were talking and they were like leaning and
getting photos and stuff. And one of them like looked
and he's like, Bex, pants up. We can see your pubes.
And it was the funniest, just the way it was
just like, Bex, we can see your pubes.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
They were that long.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
Low-rise jeans. They were that long, man.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Low-rise jeans. Yeah, I wouldn't have said that. It still
makes me laugh every time I hear a fast group song.
All I can think of is the guy going, hey.

Speaker 4 (51:49):
Hey, hey.

Speaker 3 (51:50):
Pants up. Pants up, lads.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Play ZN's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
God, that's a very vaginal orange you've just cut open.
Can we get a picture of Fletch's vaginal-looking orange? Look
at that right side. There's the vulva, there's the button
at the top. Oh, yeah, I don't want to eat
it now. I know what I want to eat it.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Straight up is what doctors see when they put you
in the smear test position.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 (52:10):
That's my bum down the bottom with it.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
Yeah, you can run these are your legs, these are
your thighs.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
We're talking about.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
That's the most vaginal-looking orange I think has ever existed.
I'm going to get a picture of that.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
Tim Curry's died.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
Oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Which is why we played the time warp.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
And he would have loved this part in Orange.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
Someone just said, I nearly swerved off the road three times.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
Drive carefully, please. Drive carefully. I didn't think I'd be
crying at my desk at the time warp for this morning,
so thanks for that. Great boogie in the car. Hands
off the steering wheel and everything. Again. Again. No, you didn't.
You had one on. Thank you, Bourne. Thank you, thank you.
I work in a cafe. No one's here yet, so
I blasted it. RIP, Tim.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
My opinion of my 12-year-old, did you read that? The
opinion of my own child, my own 12-year-old has dropped remarkably.
I'm time warping, like the young hit person I am.
She's frowning. And then went back onto the phone and
didn't do the time warp with me.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
How is she lying?

Speaker 1 (53:00):
Well, enjoy your phone while you can because you're banned
from that soon.

Speaker 3 (53:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Yeah, little shit. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
I can have a roof over your house. My four-year-old
is loving this. Yes, yes, yes, banger. Took me back.
It's a roof over your head, but yeah, don't worry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who's paying the power bill around here? Yeah. Now, do
you remember we had a caller on here a couple
of days ago who... Made a best friend through a
failed double date. Do you remember that?

Speaker 1 (53:24):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
Double date, double date, and then they became best friends
and they just went to Alex Warren together over the weekend. Yes.
We were like, we love that story, how this all
came to be. And we thought we'd get your origin
story of how you met your best friend or your friend.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
Do you and your best friend, Jess, have a good
origin story?

Speaker 3 (53:42):
Yeah, we met at kindergarten when we were four years
old on her first day because I'm a week older
than her. I've been there. lost, you know, meandering without her.
And she was on the swing. There was like one
single swing in the thing. And I went up to
her and we both remember this, we've written it down
for years. I went up to her and I said,
can I have a go on the swing? And she
was like, why?

Speaker 1 (54:01):
And I said, I'll be your best friend if you
let me. And she was like, okay, she got off.
And now we're 36 and we're best friends.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
That's 32 years. Pretty good. That's a promise we made.
Sealed the deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be your best friend.
She gave me the swing and I kept my word.
But I want to know, because maybe you met through
like unlikely circumstances. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (54:18):
You know?

Speaker 1 (54:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Caught eyes across the room and. went, God, what's happening
in here? You know what I mean? Maybe she was...
It's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
There'd be so many stories. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:27):
I want to know the origin story of how you
met your bestie.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
Okay, well, 0800 dials at M is the number.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
I was forced into a work environment with you guys.
Sometimes it works. Sometimes it works. Like an arranged marriage.
Liking you was not in my contract. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
0800 dials at M is the number. 9696 to text us.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
Give us your great friendship origin stories.

Speaker 7 (54:49):
The ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (54:51):
Is this show real?

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
Now we want to know your friendship origin story. Maybe
it's a bit interesting or a bit odd because there
was a woman who caught us up a couple of
days ago and they'd failed double dates and the girls
were friends. Became friends through these failed double dates. And
they ended up going to Alex Warren together.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
Yeah, and you met your best friend at kindy.

Speaker 3 (55:10):
Met my best friend at kindy and I told her
I'd be her best friend if she gives me the swing.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
Jessica, what's your best friend origin story?

Speaker 3 (55:18):
Kia ora, good morning. Kia ora.

Speaker 4 (55:20):
So I started dating this man, and he had two children,
and they always said, oh, you'd get along so well
with our mum, and I'd shyly be like, oh, yeah,
of course.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Wait, his baby mama?

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Oh, bless you.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
We both were teachers and I was like, okay, yeah,
we do the same thing. But, you know, how same
can we be? And then after we stood up, which
was only about a year and a bit in, she
actually said, hey, the girls miss you. Can we come
and visit? And she drove four and a half hours.
And they stayed with me and actually her best friend

(55:59):
came along and I was thinking, oh no, they're going
to be here going, oh, you know, having a great time.
But we actually just got along like a house on fire.
And that was about six. seven years ago now and
actually her two girls just came with me to my graduation.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
So you've maintained a relationship with your ex's children and
their mum?

Speaker 4 (56:21):
Yes, so I see them actually every holidays and we
just laugh and go, isn't it so funny? The girls go, oh, Dan, actually,
we don't want to see you tonight.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
So your ex.

Speaker 7 (56:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
What a cool, like, modern world, you know, to be like, no,
the girls miss you, you like them.

Speaker 2 (56:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:37):
We're all friends.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
And we've just superseded the, you know.

Speaker 4 (56:41):
We don't say, oh, that's dad's ex anymore, it's just
that's mum's bestie.

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so cool. That's really cool. That's
so cool.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
Kind of really shows who the problem was, too, eh? Yeah.
Kind of bonded.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
Yeah. Kind of shows who the problem was. Jessica, thank you.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
Josh, what's your best friend origin story?

Speaker 3 (57:01):
Kia ora, guys. Kia ora.

Speaker 6 (57:02):
I met my best friend at Hobbiton when we worked
there six or seven years ago.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Oh, my God, Josh.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
We love Hobbiton.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
We love Hobbiton. We love it.

Speaker 1 (57:11):
What were you doing at Hobbiton? We were both tour
guides at the time. COVID hit and we separated. And
then after COVID, we sort of rekindled.

Speaker 6 (57:24):
And now we are now married six years, seven years later.

Speaker 3 (57:29):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You met at Hobbiton.
You became besties. Met at Hobbiton.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
Became real good friends.

Speaker 3 (57:36):
Torn apart by COVID.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
Yeah, sort of. And then when COVID sort of finished,
we sort of started talking again and then met up and, yeah,
never looked back since.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
And, yeah, she's my best friend. Oh, and you marry her.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
Hit us with three facts you remember from doing the
Hobbiton tour. Because, God, you guys have got some facts
on board when you're doing that tour, right?

Speaker 3 (57:56):
They know their facts. Yeah, three favourite facts.

Speaker 8 (57:57):
I really like.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
I know, I have friends that, I'm not sure I
should actually say this, but I have friends that used
to work there and they had sex in the main
Hobbit hole.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Oh, no, I meant, oh, wait, I meant, I meant,
I meant, Josh, Josh, I meant you're walking around and
you're like, what a lot of people don't know about
this is this was actually the last scene we shot.

Speaker 3 (58:18):
That's not a real tree.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
But it's first in the movie and this tree's got
16,000 fake leaves on it. And you're like, my mate's
banged in the Hobbit hole. I mean, you would though,
wouldn't you, if you were there? Oh, my God. Oh,
my God. But you had lived in there before. You
can do the walkthrough of the Hobbit hole now. So
they banged in one of those ones where the doors open,
but it was kind of hollow behind it. No, they
banged in the main one, like Bilbo.

Speaker 8 (58:37):
And Frodo's house.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
They banged in Bags End! They banged in Bags End!

Speaker 4 (58:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
My man, I don't even know if Bilbo and Frodo banged, like,
canonically in the Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 3 (58:50):
If they banged anybody in bags there. Josh is Caller
of the Week, by the way. Caller of the Week.
Caller of the Week. Dude, we've got to talk about Hobbiton, Hobbits, banging,
the Lord of the Rings. Sex Hobbit. So funny. We're
going to hook you up at Kimmer's Warehouse. Prize pack there.

Speaker 1 (59:04):
Home of the biggest brands at the lowest prices.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
Well done. Oh, my God. Grab a pack of Tony's
before you. Jesus.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
They do Hobbit-sized condoms at chemist's warehouse.

Speaker 3 (59:14):
Also, Josh came in with, like, the sweetest story. All
the girls are like, oh, he married his best friend.
And he's like, my mate's banned in the hobby home.
My mate's had a root in the hobby home. Oh
my gosh. Listen to this message.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
That's a dream come true. That's a bucket list shag, actually.

Speaker 3 (59:28):
Yeah, it is. Can I get?

Speaker 1 (59:31):
No.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
Respect Hobbiton players and you'll never be welcomed back. Respect
the Hobbit hole. We're doing best free Norrington stories. You
know I respect the Hobbit hole. Both of them. My
bestie and I found each other. We're being naughty. My
bestie and I found each other through pen pals when
we were 10 years old for a horse and pony
magazine ad. We're now 48. Wow. And still crazy? And

(59:54):
we wrote to each other for years before meeting when
we were about 13. We've been besties ever since.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
That's super cute. That's beautiful. That's really cute. Somebody I
messaged and I used to work at Hobbiton. It was
always a dream of mine to bang and bags in.

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
Someone did it. Someone did it. Yeah. Someone did it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
Your friendship origin story, your bestie origin story, us tapping
his mum.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
He turned up nine months later. We've been best friends
ever since. Oh, best friends with your kid, yeah. There's
so many. I bet my best friend, I bet I
met my best friend at school. It was awkward. And
then when we got home from school, she jumped over
the fence and asked if I was home and we
found out that we were neighbours. It's been five years
now and she's still my best friend.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
Aww.

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
Well, that's cute.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
So many cute stories.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
Yeah, really cute and some absolute filth too.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
I met three of my closest friends when I was
waxing their vaginas.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
My best friend had hers done and then my husband
came home with wine and we all got drunk. All
three have since seen mine now, so it's equal. We've
seen enough with the Hobbit hole stories.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
Sorry. I went on a date with a dude from Tinder.
I ended up ghosting him. Then a couple of months
later he started working at my gym.

Speaker 1 (01:00:59):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
We had to make it work because I just signed
a year-long contract. Three years later, though, we're now best friends.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Oh, that's cool.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
Sorry I ghosted you, though.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
So anyone listening today and going to visit Hobbiton will
still see the main house in the same light as
a normal visitor? I doubt it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
No, probably not, actually. It's Bagshot Roads, the one you
walk through. That's Samwise Gamgee's house. Okay. They're talking up
top and bags end.

Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
Right, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
Is that by the fake tree? It's underneath the fake tree.
Underneath the fake tree.

Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
Okay. My bestie was sat next to me at school
as her last name was D and mine was B.
24 years later, she might be in London and me
in New Zealand, but we're still besties. Nothing's changed. Can't
wait to see her at Christmas. That's cute.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
My best friend, when I moved next door, she came
over to borrow a cup of sugar. It was best
friends at first sight. God, I love that woman. I
don't know if I could be friends with someone that
didn't have a good substantial supplies and plenty of head
for baking. But what if they were making an impromptu meringue? Fair,
fair call, actually. A crunchy meringue is a great reason
for an emergency.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
You plan a meringue. No, they're like, oh, my God,
these eggs are all about to go off.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
I don't have enough sugar to make a meringue. I'd
be like, yeah, it's going to cost you some meringue.

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
We've had a lovely message.

Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
It was my first day of school, and I had
a look around, and I saw a girl, and I
asked her to show me around. And the next day,
we were seated next to each other, and that's how
it happened. And now we're still best friends, and it's
been five years, and I'm nine. Oh, that's super cute.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
That's really cute.

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Super cute.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
Best friends for life.

Speaker 7 (01:02:21):
The ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 8 (01:02:29):
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. It's ice cream week here at Fact of the Day.

Speaker 3 (01:02:47):
I want to get a bit historic. Who's it thanks to?
Just everybody. We're getting sent so much ice cream. Oh,
you know, it's no. Jesus Christ. I forgot again. No,
I know. Even I remember that I've got nothing to
do with this. I'm doing it. Today's Fact of the
Day is brought to you by St. Pierre's Fact.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
Today's Sushi of the Day is eight pieces of California
roll for $ 8.

Speaker 8 (01:03:06):
40.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
I like a California roll.

Speaker 3 (01:03:09):
So do I, actually.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
I think it's my favourite type of roll.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
Because it's the whitest. You're a white guy.

Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
Huh?

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
White people love a California roll.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I just did a
quick Google when I read this line about the California roll.
It got its name because it became a favourite dish
for tourists from LA who were visiting a really famous
Japanese restaurant in Canada.

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
Oh, really? Because they didn't like the raw... Excuse me, sir,
this fish is not cooked. It's completely raw.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
Wait, so what's in a California roll?

Speaker 7 (01:03:40):
Chicken.

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
Is it always chicken? Chicken and avocado. No, he used
cooked crab and avocado to appeal to North American diners
who dislike the raw fish and seaweed. Well, this is
ice cream week, not sushi week. I was brought to
you by St.

Speaker 3 (01:03:53):
Pierre's.

Speaker 1 (01:03:54):
Fact, today's sushi there is eight pieces of California roll
for $ 8. 40.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
I just said that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
I didn't forget. I didn't forget.

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
I didn't forget. One for the historians today.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
And the ice cream actually has a very powerful tie
to the founding of America. Now, if you've watched Hamilton
or listened to the Hamilton soundtrack, which I have hundreds
upon hundreds of times as my daughter became Hyper fixated
on Hamilton. And can now sing all the songs and
knows all the... Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:04:17):
And it's an amazing musical. It's not my number one.
You went to it, eh? I loved it, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
I passed up tickets because I hadn't watched it at
that stage. And you went and saw it live. Well,
you're not cultured. You're from Hamilton. Actual Hamilton. Yeah, not
Alexander Hamilton.

Speaker 3 (01:04:30):
He still thinks Les Mis is a gem.

Speaker 1 (01:04:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
Is it not?

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
It's the one you guys go to. That's Les Mills.

Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
Oh, no. What about Phantom of the Oprah Winfrey? That's true.
That was a show. That was a daytime show. She
was being haunted, wasn't she?

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
Okay, great.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Well, George Washington in the summer of 1790. It was
the summer of 1790. It doesn't roll off the tongue
as well, does it? No. He spent 200 US dollars
on ice cream alone that summer. Roughly, in today's money,
that would be over.

Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
$ 5, 000. Wow. And ice creams.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
He loved ice creams. George Washington loved ice creams. was
an ice cream fiend, but he wasn't even the biggest
fan of ice cream in that administration. If you've watched Hamilton,
you'll so be familiar with Thomas Jefferson. Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
Here comes Jefferson.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
He had his own 18-step ice cream recipe, and on
July 4th, 1806, he had someone crank the ice cream
maker all day long to keep the White House supply
for Independence Day, July 4th.

Speaker 3 (01:05:26):
Just churning.

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
Just churning, because he loved it. There was another guy, Madison.
His signature dish at the White House parties was ice cream.
Oyster ice cream. Ew, yuck.

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
Hear me out, though.

Speaker 4 (01:05:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
Yum. I don't usually go, I go tang with oyster.
Lemon or a V & A or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
Yeah, it shouldn't be in an ice cream. Because I
like my oysters like this. Go on.

Speaker 3 (01:05:51):
Oh my God, that's exactly how I do it. Crunch, crunch.
But not crunch with teeth, like mash, mash. Mash, mash.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
Go on, but I can't imagine sitting there.

Speaker 3 (01:05:58):
And being like.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
It could be nice, salty, briny, sweet, creamy, maybe. So
that got me down the path of unusual ice cream flavours.
Japan known for its ice cream flavours. I've had soy
sauce ice cream.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
I kind of get it. Tangy. Tea, salty. Sweet and salty. Offset.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
Ramen flavoured and squid ink flavoured. I've had like a
miso something gelato. I had a miso caramel. Yeah, miso caramel. Again,
that's that offset, the salty and the sweet, right? And
it works for itself. In Singapore, they do a salted
egg yolk.

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
Ice cream?

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:06:38):
No, not for me.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
It just felt a little bit in my throat there,
just as it's not for me.

Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
And I didn't know this.

Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
In New England, the part of America up there on
the Upper East Coast, they have black raspberry ice cream,
and it outsells every other flavour.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Wait, what's in that? But outside of New England, black raspberries.
Black raspberries. No, it's black raspberries.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
Black raspberries, like the fruit, black raspberries, raspberries that are black.
Are they like boys, are they like a more of a-
Like blackcurrant.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
Yeah, right. Like they're dark.

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
Well, a boysenberry is a raspberry cross with a blackberry, right?
But it was named after Boysen, the guy that made
the initial cross-pollination. I mean, you guys are picking up
a lot of facts here. We've had California Roll. Yes.
So many. We've had Hamilton. We've learned that Les Mis
isn't just a gym. Well, the sauna is actually, what
is it about?

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
The French. Musical. A French band. French student revolution. Yeah,
that one.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
So today's fact of the day is that in, I'm
just going to go, just going to kind of focus
in on this one. In the summer of 1790, George
Washington spent $ 5, 000. US dollars in modern currency, worth on
ice cream alone.

Speaker 8 (01:07:42):
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Speaker 1 (01:07:57):
Someone said 10 minutes ago I was going to text
in the studio to remind Vaughan that Fact of the
Day was sponsored by St. Pierre's and don't forget, and
I didn't do it, and now I feel like it
was my fault that he forgot.

Speaker 4 (01:08:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:05):
No, don't worry, I've got it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
846, that is actually your fault. Actually, I had it first.
You said, who's it watered you by?

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
Yeah. I said, who's it thanks to you? You said,
I don't know, ice cream.

Speaker 7 (01:08:16):
The ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
What's going on?

Speaker 9 (01:08:18):
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 3 (01:08:21):
Yesterday I had to, I don't know what I kept
on hitting, but I think I need to offer Cerise
some reassurance that I'm okay. Because I was listening to
a podcast. You know Esther Perel? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
She's like a therapist, mostly a relationship therapist.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
She's got the lovely voice. French yellow, yes. Now, why
do you feel like he would be saying that to you, girl? Yeah.
She's great. So talk to him. Talk to him directly.
He's right next to you. She's amazing. She has a
podcast called Where Should We Begin? And it's a real
life couples counselling session. And I'm like flying the wall.
I love it. So interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
I've never listened. I've only heard her in interviews. But
the podcast of the couples, is she replaying the chats?

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
So the couples are real. They go on. knowing that
it's for the podcast. They're a one-off client. So it's
not like an ongoing thing. She does a one-off session.
They come in with their issue and she does like
a one-hour session.

Speaker 4 (01:09:07):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:09:08):
And then we listen.

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
They get, it's like embarrassing bodies, but it's free. They're
getting free treatment, but everybody gets to see. Everybody gets
to see their dirty laundry. And I've just been listening.
And they're so amazing. Sometimes they're really funny and interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:09:19):
Some of them are like riddled with like scandal and
you're like, oh. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
Anyway, I was listening to a couple of episodes yesterday
and I was in and out of my car the
whole time and it was in and out of my headphones.
And I was driving along and there was a guy
who was trying to get to the bottom of why
he couldn't move past something.

Speaker 3 (01:09:37):
In their relationship. Right. And it was, you know, the
words he was using was like, think this, you know,
goes back to childhood. I'm not sure where this started
for me, but I believe it was, you know, something
with my father and an issue where I didn't feel
a lot of love. And then my wrist just goes,
I'm so sorry to hear that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
I was like, look down. And I've obviously bumped it, started,
like it's listening, Siri's listening.

Speaker 3 (01:10:04):
And she says to me, I'm so sorry to hear that.
And I was like, oh my God. And I click
it off and I was like, whatever. It happened another
separate time and it was a woman talking, it was
about her issues with her... Her body, you know, and
it was her and her wife and they were having
issues with intimacy. Yeah. And I was like, loving this episode,
you know, intimacy and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
And the woman was saying, you know, I was raised
in a time of, you know, always needing to lose weight.
My mother always put me on diets.

Speaker 3 (01:10:33):
And then my wrist goes... have you spoken to your
mother about this? And I was like, what the hell?

Speaker 1 (01:10:40):
Siri was giving me like, Siri thought that I was
offloading deep, deep emotional trauma.

Speaker 3 (01:10:47):
I was like, no, Siri, I've actually got a session
booked with my actual therapist today and was offering like,
not advice, but just small, like, I'm really sorry. I'm
really sorry to hear that. So I feel like, and Siri,
I just need to let you know I'm actually fine.
None of that was my trauma.

Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
How was it activating? Was it just listening?

Speaker 3 (01:11:03):
I don't know. I don't know if I.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
It will have heard something that sounds like, hey, Siri.

Speaker 3 (01:11:07):
Yeah, it was like, yeah, recently, or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it would have turned itself on. So this, yeah,
there's some robot overlord in America is thinking that I am...
trauma dumping into my watch about my.

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
It's probably saved on your Apple profile.

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
Yeah, my terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:11:23):
Relationship with my father and how he didn't love me
and my body image being warped by, you know, constantly
being put on diets by my family. And you didn't
do that thing where you asked the apps not to track,
so now you're going to get targeted advertising for like.

Speaker 3 (01:11:34):
Wegovi. Why diet your whole life when you can have Wegovi?

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
We're going to do a quick little poll now. If
you had to have one, which would you rather right now?

Speaker 3 (01:11:52):
Diarrhea or vomiting? Both horrific. Both bad. But for me,
it'd be diarrhea. Because last night I was cooking.

Speaker 1 (01:11:59):
So you know how I do those Big Mac smashed tacos?
So you smash the beef into the... You've got to
say burger tacos because that's trademarked.

Speaker 3 (01:12:09):
Big Mac burger taco. No, you can't say Big Mac. Yeah,
with a sort of a paprikary sauce.

Speaker 1 (01:12:13):
Flat Mac burger tacos. Yeah. Yeah, so you smash the
mince into the taco and then put the mince down
on the pan and put a bit of weight on top,
press that, flip it over, lightly cook the taco and
then add in all the stuff you'd usually have on
a Big Mac or a non-trademarked version of it. It
occurred to me you could do the same with the McChicken.

(01:12:35):
So last night I did the chicken versions.

Speaker 3 (01:12:37):
Oh, okay. Chicken mince, chicken mince. Chicken mince. Popped in
the KitchenAid.

Speaker 6 (01:12:43):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:12:43):
Pop, pop, pop in that KitchenAid mixer. Nice.

Speaker 1 (01:12:46):
First time that I was in charge of using that.

Speaker 3 (01:12:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
And with some paprika and some onion powder and some
garlic powder and some salt and some pepper and then
let that mix that all up. And then took it out,
smeared it on the, but usually the beef I do
it with my hands.

Speaker 4 (01:12:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
But last night I was using a spatula to do
the chicken because it's not.

Speaker 3 (01:13:02):
No one wants to touch the chicken. No one wants
to touch the chicken.

Speaker 1 (01:13:04):
No. Why is it weirder to touch chicken than it
is to touch a duck?

Speaker 3 (01:13:08):
It's like you're absorbing salmonella through your skin or something.

Speaker 1 (01:13:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
It's very wet. Yeah. Very wet.

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
So I was using a spatula to smear it out
on the tacos before smashing it down onto the pan. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:22):
And I was doing that, and it was all working
really well. It smelled good, everything looked good. And when
I finished, I'd sprinkle a few sesame seeds on top
of it.

Speaker 5 (01:13:28):
Nice.

Speaker 3 (01:13:28):
Put it in the oven.

Speaker 1 (01:13:30):
And then I, just at the end of things, I
got the last bit out of the bowl. I was
doing the last one, and I literally thought, I better
not lick that spatula. Like, that's what went through my
mind as I put my finger in my mouth. I went,
and sucked raw chicken off my finger. Better not put
that spatula in my mouth.

Speaker 3 (01:13:48):
But I'll just get rid of this.

Speaker 1 (01:13:49):
Walked over to the sink, put that, and then I
was like, I just sucked raw chicken on my finger. Now,
you're only, because you can eat raw chicken, you shouldn't.

Speaker 3 (01:13:56):
You shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:13:57):
Not all raw chicken will make you sick. It's only
if it has salmonella. And you cook it out of
it by cooking it to at least 74 degrees. The
salmonella can't survive in there. The chicken's got temperature.

Speaker 3 (01:14:06):
It makes it safe to eat. But we've all had
chicken-led food poisoning.

Speaker 8 (01:14:11):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (01:14:12):
I haven't. I have. I don't think I've had chicken.
I've had seafood. I had chicken on a pizza, man,
and it just... Really? I was shaking, feverish. It was
bad news.

Speaker 1 (01:14:22):
And in that moment, my girlfriend Amy said to me,
did you just lick raw chicken off your finger? And
I was like, I did. And she's like, poozle spews.
And I said, it's a little poll.

Speaker 6 (01:14:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:14:33):
Because that's how my brain's wired. I'm always on. Always on.
Mining for content.

Speaker 1 (01:14:36):
Work first with more.

Speaker 3 (01:14:37):
Work first. Work first.

Speaker 1 (01:14:40):
Always first.

Speaker 3 (01:14:41):
This guy's a work horse. They call you a workaholic.

Speaker 1 (01:14:44):
They do. They say Vaughn Smith.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
Go home, Vaughn.

Speaker 1 (01:14:46):
Get out of here, buddy.

Speaker 4 (01:14:48):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 (01:14:48):
Don't you have a family? No, I'm just brewing on
my top six for tomorrow.

Speaker 6 (01:14:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:14:53):
And my sect of the day.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
We already had a silly little poll. So I was like,
let's quicky little poll it. Would you rather, if you
got sick from food poisoning, would you rather have diarrhea
or vomiting? Now, I will say the poos. Definitely poos.
Because I don't vomit often. When I do it, I
find it so horrible.

Speaker 3 (01:15:10):
You don't vomit well.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
I don't vomit well.

Speaker 3 (01:15:13):
Some people vomit well. Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:15:15):
I myself, I'm not good at it. I vomit maybe
once every two years. It takes me back to being
a kid.

Speaker 3 (01:15:21):
Yeah, I panic and I cry. It's panicky because it's
coming out the part you breathe through.

Speaker 1 (01:15:25):
Yeah. Whereas when you've got diarrhoea, you can sit and just, like,
it's uncomfortable, the cramps and everything.

Speaker 3 (01:15:30):
Shannon's got a great point. It's easier to vomit in public,
more publicly acceptable to throw up on the street.

Speaker 1 (01:15:36):
It is. I mean, that's very true. But then I
will say, having got, like, really bad travel sickness... And, like,
losing about three or four kgs from the poos. It
was horrible.

Speaker 3 (01:15:49):
The original peptides. Diarrhea, the original peptides.

Speaker 1 (01:15:53):
The original jabs.

Speaker 3 (01:15:53):
When I do colon prep for my colonoscopies, the anus
is raw, but it's better than the involuntary nature of spews.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
Okay, well, what do the people say?

Speaker 3 (01:16:02):
Would you rather poo or spew?

Speaker 6 (01:16:03):
Poo, 83%.

Speaker 3 (01:16:03):
Spew, 17%. Yeah. Leisha says, I'm actually a cyclic vomiter.

Speaker 1 (01:16:12):
I vomit, the smell, the sound, the sight of vomit
makes me vomit again and it's very hard to.

Speaker 3 (01:16:17):
Break the cycle once I say it.

Speaker 1 (01:16:19):
Oh, yeah, right.

Speaker 3 (01:16:19):
Yeah, I get that. She's a sympathy spewer too. If
I smell it, I'm on board. I'll say the text
machine is 100% poos. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:16:27):
Diarrhea is just a sped up version of something that
you're meant to do, says Michael. Whereas vomiting is very traumatic.

Speaker 3 (01:16:35):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (01:16:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:16:37):
We do poop most days. Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:16:39):
I mean, anyone that's had barley belly won't like that.

Speaker 3 (01:16:42):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:16:43):
Alex said it's got to be diarrhea because you can
doom scroll when you've got the squirts.

Speaker 3 (01:16:47):
Yeah. Sit and have a scroll.

Speaker 1 (01:16:48):
I don't know if you can. It's quite horrific.

Speaker 3 (01:16:50):
Someone said on the text machine, I vomited so hard
I burst blood vessels in my eyes. Can't be good.
I did that once. I vomited so hard my nose
started bleeding. And then my brother walked in and he
was like, you all right? I went, yeah. And it
went against the wall and then he spewed on the floor.
Self-inflicted or... No, we're like kids, like teenagers. Oh, right,
little kids. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
You can be out and about, says Charlotte, and still
vomit in a bush or a bin or whatever. You
can't be out and about and have explosive diarrhoea.

Speaker 3 (01:17:17):
That's what Shannon just said. Very good point. Very good point.
But someone just texts in, if you do poo publicly,
your pants will catch it. Whereas if you vomit publicly,
there's just no catching it. Not if it's diarrhoea and
you're wearing shorts. You're going to have a shitty run
in your leg. But if you're wearing a lute lemon. Legging?

Speaker 1 (01:17:32):
No, I reckon you'd still see the wetness. It's basically
an active wear muslin cloth.

Speaker 3 (01:17:37):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
It'll keep all the solids in there, but there's not
a lot of solids in the diarrhea.

Speaker 3 (01:17:41):
Okay, someone said, as a woman of a certain age,
there's extra risk when you vomit. Because you're also going
to piss yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:17:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:47):
Oh, yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 (01:17:48):
If you need a spear, you.

Speaker 1 (01:17:49):
Can stay in your bed with a bowl. I'd rather
be there than the toilet if I'm unwell. Okay, so
they're saying you can vomit in bed, but you can't
shit yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:17:57):
Ideally not. You can. When you said that.
Fletcher's getting sick and losing three kgs was the original peptides.
Someone called it poop tides. And that's brilliant.

Speaker 1 (01:18:06):
Oh, yeah. That's really good. That's good stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:18:08):
Alice said, I'm terrified of vomiting.

Speaker 1 (01:18:10):
Once had the poops just before going on a coach
tour of the Highlands in Scotland. Oh. Imodium is hallelujah. Yeah,
that's good stuff. That's good stuff. Always travel with that.
I'm terrified of vomiting. I start panicking. I hyperventilate. It's
not a good time. There is a name for it
because my niece has got it. She's terrified of hearing, seeing,
even knowing someone's vomiting.

Speaker 3 (01:18:30):
Yeah. Why is vomiting so violent? Why is vomiting so violent?
It is. It is. You don't usually do it when
you poo, eh?

Speaker 1 (01:18:38):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:18:39):
Not usually. Okay, well, there we go. We've got our answer.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
My cookie little pie, would you rather poo or spew?
And 83% of you said, give me the squirts, baby.

Speaker 2 (01:18:46):
The ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (01:18:50):
ZM's Fletchpoint and Hayley. Now, Caitlin's in here with her book. Hi, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:18:55):
Hi.

Speaker 3 (01:18:56):
From the office.

Speaker 1 (01:18:57):
Now, I incorrectly assumed it was the dropping of the
bombs on Japan, the nuclear fallout of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Speaker 3 (01:19:04):
That you were reading a book about. Oh, no, I
didn't know about that. So I said 70 years. You
know about that?

Speaker 8 (01:19:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:19:08):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:19:09):
You're reading a book about Chernobyl.

Speaker 5 (01:19:11):
Yes, I got given this for my brother and it
was on my shelf for a bit. And then I
cleaned up my shelf and I was like, actually, this
could be a bit of a banger.

Speaker 3 (01:19:19):
Can I have a little look at it?

Speaker 1 (01:19:20):
I believe there was one big bang, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:19:23):
Now we have Prima. We've promised. No spoilers.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
Because this is what got our attention and made us laugh,
is that you were asking for no spoilers.

Speaker 3 (01:19:34):
History of a tragedy. That's a spoiler in itself.

Speaker 1 (01:19:37):
What can we say about Chernobyl without spoiling?

Speaker 3 (01:19:40):
Well, you're 211 days in, you're on chapter China syndrome.

Speaker 5 (01:19:44):
Yeah, and I'm also obsessed with China, so this is
just the right book for me. Yeah, we're a couple
of days in after the explosion. I just don't want
it to be spoiled how many people this affected.

Speaker 3 (01:19:55):
Like, I'm waiting to find out. So your spoiler is
how many people died. Please don't spoil it. No, we're
not going to. There will be such a line.

Speaker 1 (01:20:03):
We don't know if it's possible to spoil that.

Speaker 3 (01:20:05):
I know it's big. It's big. Is that a number
that's known?

Speaker 1 (01:20:09):
This is like somebody saying, I'm halfway through the Titanic book.
Don't tell me what happens and how many people die.

Speaker 3 (01:20:16):
Coming into work being like, there was an iceberg.

Speaker 1 (01:20:19):
But Titanic, they can be like, okay, passenger manifest. Who's
still alive? I don't know if there's an answer. Yeah,
probably not.

Speaker 3 (01:20:28):
Is that a spoiler? What was I going to say? Spoiler.

Speaker 1 (01:20:31):
Hey, no spoilers here. I've been to Chernobyl. I was
just showing Kayla my stories.

Speaker 3 (01:20:38):
I know. It's amazing. It's incredible. Go and fletch the
social media. You've got a little saved stories of Chernobyl.

Speaker 6 (01:20:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:45):
But before reading this book, picking it up, you knew
of the place Chernobyl.

Speaker 3 (01:20:51):
I knew something bad happened. Something bad happened. Did you
know what TV show that they made?

Speaker 5 (01:20:55):
Yes, I'm waiting to watch that after I read the book.

Speaker 3 (01:20:58):
Okay, great.

Speaker 1 (01:20:59):
Don't try to forget the fact that the guy that
made that, Emi, no, what did it, did it win
Golden Globes? It won awards.

Speaker 3 (01:21:06):
I thought it was pretty, like, raw.

Speaker 1 (01:21:08):
Yeah, but just try to forget the fact that that's
the guy that did The Hangover. Oh!

Speaker 3 (01:21:13):
Yeah, Todd Phillips.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
Todd Phillips, right?

Speaker 3 (01:21:14):
Amazing. He was like, don't pigeonhole me.

Speaker 1 (01:21:17):
That just shows the spectrum of this man's work. Oh
my God, he's a very talented man, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:21:21):
So are you walking around now.
Like, blinkers on. Like, I am with, like, I don't know, like,
maths or something.

Speaker 1 (01:21:29):
I was like this when the Spider-Man movie came out.

Speaker 4 (01:21:31):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:21:31):
I was like, I need to go and see it
opening weekend because I don't want any of the spoilers.

Speaker 3 (01:21:35):
Game of Thrones.

Speaker 5 (01:21:36):
Also, I haven't seen The Avengers, so no spoilers for that, too.
I just kind of like being late.

Speaker 1 (01:21:42):
The 2012 movie, The Avengers.

Speaker 3 (01:21:43):
Yes, I'm just starting to watch it now. Spider-Man 1. Jesus.

Speaker 7 (01:21:48):
I mean, this is great.

Speaker 3 (01:21:50):
Spider-Man 1.

Speaker 1 (01:21:51):
One.

Speaker 3 (01:21:52):
Yeah. Toby Maguire. Great. So we want to know Your.

Speaker 1 (01:21:57):
Life is just actively avoiding spoilers from all aspects of history.

Speaker 5 (01:22:01):
Yeah, so it's really good having a past head injury.

Speaker 3 (01:22:04):
I just forget it anyway. Yeah, oh yeah, it's got
to be a head injury. Head injury time. That's right.
Even if you told me. Yeah, I was playing hide
and seek. Were you playing possum? I just thought nobody
would look up so I'll go up.

Speaker 5 (01:22:16):
And there's a little branch and I just Obviously fell out.

Speaker 3 (01:22:19):
She's not a child.

Speaker 1 (01:22:20):
She's spectacularly special, Alkayla.

Speaker 7 (01:22:22):
She is.

Speaker 1 (01:22:24):
Before and after the brain injury. Yeah. Okay, so this
is what we want to know this morning. I'll 800-DANCE-IT-EM.
You can text in as well, 9696. What was your
really late spoiler? Maybe you were watching a lovely Bruce
Willis film, you know, and you were thinking, man, The
Sixth Sense, this is great.

Speaker 3 (01:22:44):
And then someone drops it. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:22:45):
Surely nobody's going to have late spoilers because everybody watches
it at the time.

Speaker 6 (01:22:49):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:22:50):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:22:50):
No, I've seen videos online of like kids watching Star
Wars with their parents. They just don't know anything about
Star Wars and they watch it all the way through.
And then to them, it's a surprise that Darth Vader
is Luke Skywalker's father.

Speaker 3 (01:23:02):
I knew that one.

Speaker 7 (01:23:02):
He's what?

Speaker 3 (01:23:05):
I know, it's hard.

Speaker 1 (01:23:06):
The clues were there all along. Darth Vader is literally
German for Dark Father.

Speaker 3 (01:23:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:23:11):
Okay, 9696, 0800 DARS at M.

Speaker 3 (01:23:14):
What was your really late spoiler? What was your late spoiler?
That's what we're asking. What was it? Was it Georgia?
I'm trying to eat. I'm not here for you.

Speaker 1 (01:23:22):
Do you remember when Georgia told everybody the winner of
Love Island when no one in New Zealand had seen it?

Speaker 3 (01:23:27):
Yeah, I got a lot of hate for that. I
will say that. But at the end of the day,
get on social media. Not my fault. No, people get
deeply invested in it.

Speaker 1 (01:23:35):
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:23:36):
It was exciting, though. Yeah, we just had Caitlin from
The Office in. No spoilers.

Speaker 1 (01:23:39):
She's reading the Chernobyl book.

Speaker 3 (01:23:41):
She knows what happens in Chernobyl. No, but she wants
to know the actual full fallout. She doesn't know the
historical fallout. I was going to say, everyone knows what
happens in Chernobyl. You've been there, haven't you?

Speaker 1 (01:23:50):
Yeah. Amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:23:51):
You haven't been listening this morning. As I said, I'm
trying to eat my brekkie. I literally listened to you. No,
you from 10 till 3. Okay, bye.

Speaker 1 (01:24:01):
So we want to know if you've ever had something
old spoiled for you.

Speaker 3 (01:24:05):
Now, Amy, you joined us on the phone. Good morning, Amy.

Speaker 2 (01:24:09):
Good morning.

Speaker 3 (01:24:10):
What was your really late spoiler?

Speaker 6 (01:24:13):
Well, at 41, my husband and I bought some of
the old yellow mustard that you may have seen around.

Speaker 1 (01:24:19):
Our brown mustard.

Speaker 6 (01:24:20):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:24:21):
And I said, gosh, I've always wanted to see that
sweet classic.

Speaker 1 (01:24:26):
1957.

Speaker 6 (01:24:26):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 (01:24:29):
He turned to me and he said, you know, the
dog dies.

Speaker 3 (01:24:33):
Yeah, the dog dies. Old Yella dies.

Speaker 4 (01:24:36):
I'm watching it now.

Speaker 1 (01:24:38):
Have you never come across, because that's kind of like
such a popular twist that it's pop culture. It's in
the zeitgeist, right? It's like Bruce Willis is dead all along.

Speaker 7 (01:24:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:24:48):
Old Yella, the dog dies. Of course it does. The
whole film makes us fall in love. He has to
shoot it, doesn't he?

Speaker 4 (01:24:52):
That's what I was told by him.

Speaker 3 (01:24:54):
Yeah, like pretty ruthless. He's living under a rock.

Speaker 1 (01:24:58):
More people know about the ending of the movie than
have actually probably seen it.

Speaker 3 (01:25:01):
Amy, are you aware that the Titanic crashes? Oh, yes.
She knows that one.

Speaker 1 (01:25:08):
She knew that one. Amy, thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:25:10):
Messages in. Old things spoiled for you.

Speaker 1 (01:25:12):
I was watching Dexter earlier this year. The old series Dexter.
They keep trying to reboot, but it doesn't quite capture the.

Speaker 3 (01:25:18):
Magic of the original series.

Speaker 1 (01:25:19):
And they ruined that with the ending. I've never forgiven
them for that. Yeah, but what about the season three twist?
The end of the John Lithgow season.

Speaker 6 (01:25:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:25:25):
Because someone said, I just started watching Dexter earlier this year,
and my friend said, are you up to the part where,
insert John Lithgow twist.

Speaker 3 (01:25:31):
I hate that. Are you up to the bit where
so and so, and you're like. So if the answer's no...
And they were just like, what? Why would you do that?

Speaker 1 (01:25:38):
To be honest, the statute of limitations on that spoiler
is well past. Yeah, fair, fair.

Speaker 3 (01:25:44):
But if someone was watching.

Speaker 1 (01:25:45):
It and they're like, I watched Dexter for the first time,
you don't tell them the Trinity Killer twist. Would you
say to that person watching Dexter to stop at a
certain point?

Speaker 3 (01:25:53):
I reckon... End of the fourth?

Speaker 1 (01:25:56):
You've got to watch the season after the Trinity Killer. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:26:00):
It's not as good. It was just the ending that
was so stupid.

Speaker 1 (01:26:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:26:04):
I don't watch it. I've never watched it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:05):
But then they tried to make good on the ending
by doing the reboot where it was somewhere snowy. I
didn't even bother.

Speaker 6 (01:26:11):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:26:11):
I'm not forgiving them.

Speaker 4 (01:26:12):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:26:13):
Someone said, I watched that Chernobyl miniseries on Neon.

Speaker 3 (01:26:16):
I knew nothing about Chernobyl. It wasn't until the end
I even knew that it was real. Yeah. Someone got
through the entire thing and they're like, that was harrowing.
You know that actually happened. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:26:26):
It's an incredible miniseries. I think, yeah, it's amazing. At
32 years old, I had to break it to my
husband that Princess Diana was dead.

Speaker 3 (01:26:33):
He didn't know. He thought she was the queen.

Speaker 1 (01:26:38):
What?

Speaker 3 (01:26:39):
Wait, what? What? He... But then when the Queen died,
was he like, oh my God, we've lost Princess Skye?

Speaker 1 (01:26:46):
Why have they changed her name when she got to
the Queen? Maybe he thought Camilla was.

Speaker 3 (01:26:52):
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (01:26:52):
This happens sometimes when, you know, like an old, old
song will come on and they'll be like, man, I wonder.

Speaker 3 (01:26:56):
What he's up to. And you're like, dude... Dead. Five
years ago?

Speaker 4 (01:27:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:01):
I always forget people have died, and then you think
about it, and you're like, that's right. I thought I'd
read all the Harry Potter books, so I did a reread.
Next thing I know, I'm bawling in the hairdresser because
I found out Dumbledore dies.

Speaker 3 (01:27:10):
I stopped reading before that. Oh, what you didn't realize.

Speaker 4 (01:27:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:27:14):
Well, do what Hayley does. Read the last page of
the book because you hate yourself. No, no, no. It
was a weird thing I had as a teenager when
I read a lot. I'd be reading and I'd feel
this like dark passenger. Read the last page. I don't
know why. And I'd be like, you know, slogging through
the book and I'd be like, read the last page.
I'll just read the last bit and be like, it
would say often be like wrapping it up who they

(01:27:34):
are and where they're with and so and so and so.
And you're like, damn it. I know the ending. I
did that to myself.

Speaker 8 (01:27:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:41):
Oh, someone said we were watching the Harry Potter movies.
I'd never seen them. We were watching them. And someone said,
brace yourself. Dobby dies in this one.

Speaker 3 (01:27:48):
Oh, why would you say that? Brace yourself, Dobby. Brace yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:27:51):
That's as bad as Georgia telling everybody the winner of
Love Island.

Speaker 3 (01:27:54):
Dobby is arguably worse than that. Thank you very much.
It's Dobby. I didn't watch any of the films. I
think I've watched one and maybe like a five or something.
I've not read any of the books.

Speaker 1 (01:28:04):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:28:04):
I've read three of them. It's because I'm a human being.

Speaker 1 (01:28:07):
Unlike this turf over here.

Speaker 3 (01:28:08):
You uncultured haters.

Speaker 1 (01:28:11):
Turf. Turf. Turf. Team JK. Huge fan.

Speaker 3 (01:28:14):
Aren't you? Team JK.

Speaker 2 (01:28:16):
Plays AZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (01:28:19):
Uber is trialling a new feature.

Speaker 3 (01:28:22):
Are they?

Speaker 1 (01:28:23):
This is a tool to let parents monitor their teen's rides. Oh, boo.
I was hoping it was going to be a free
snack machine that just pops out snacks in the back seat.

Speaker 3 (01:28:31):
Oh my God. Yes, you just put in a number
and it's like, here's a little bag of Skittles.

Speaker 1 (01:28:34):
So They get a push notification When the kid gets
into an Uber And then they can Request a live
feed From the driver's Selfie camera Oh okay And talk
to the driver Saying it needs to I'll move it
So I can see my kid Um.

Speaker 3 (01:28:49):
As a teenager, as a prior teenager. Hi, it's me, Hayley.
I don't want my mum seeing me in my Uber
coming home. With your boyfriend. With my boyfriend. We're having
a kiss. Kissing in the back seat. Holding hands.

Speaker 1 (01:29:01):
But okay, what if it's your partner and you're paying
for their Uber? And, you know, they're an uber vomiter.
And so you dial into this and you're just like, hey, mate,
can you just pull over? Because I can 100% see
the look on their face. Her eyes have gone off. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:29:14):
I don't have to.

Speaker 1 (01:29:15):
Pay the soilage fee. Are they letting you do it
for your other people or just kids?

Speaker 3 (01:29:20):
I think it's just kids, right? Okay, so you could
invite spots.

Speaker 1 (01:29:22):
If you set up a family account, I guess you could. Well, yeah,
but could you check who your husband's coming home with
in the Uber?

Speaker 3 (01:29:27):
You know what I mean? Suspicions.

Speaker 1 (01:29:28):
Suspicions.

Speaker 6 (01:29:29):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:29:29):
I mean, it's a good safety thing, I guess. It
is a good safety thing. It's a great idea. Because, yeah,
I've set up Uber kids.

Speaker 1 (01:29:36):
Right. And I've said, you know, if you need an
Uber anywhere, they've got it on their phones. Like, should
an emergency arise or they find themselves somewhere they don't
want to be, and that's the quickest way.

Speaker 3 (01:29:43):
To get out of there.

Speaker 1 (01:29:44):
And have they ever used that before? Nah. Oh. What,
do you have to go get them?

Speaker 3 (01:29:48):
Nah. They catch buses and stuff. Wild?

Speaker 6 (01:29:52):
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:29:52):
I'd be like, Daddy, I need an Uber.

Speaker 3 (01:29:55):
But Daddy, the bus is a 10-minute wait and I'm cold. Daddy,
I'll have to ride the bus with other people. But Daddy,
I want five more minutes with my boyfriend. Daddy, I
want an Oompa Loompa now! No, you've gone too far
with your requests there, darling.

Speaker 1 (01:30:07):
So you're going to be able to tap into the
Uber's camera.

Speaker 3 (01:30:11):
Which is... I'm always thinking when they've got it... It's
always down here.

Speaker 1 (01:30:15):
Yeah. Will it be their cell phone or if they've
got a specialised dash cam?

Speaker 3 (01:30:19):
I always thought it would be through the phone, through
the app. Yeah, right. How often does that footage get deleted?

Speaker 1 (01:30:25):
Probably never. Why are you worried about?

Speaker 3 (01:30:27):
Just reflecting. I didn't even know they were recording. I
didn't even know they were recording. I don't know either.

Speaker 1 (01:30:33):
What is your latest Uber rating? Has it gone down
or up?

Speaker 3 (01:30:36):
Should we have a little look here? Surely it's only on.
But I've been a very good boy in the last
few years.

Speaker 1 (01:30:41):
Have you?

Speaker 3 (01:30:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:30:43):
Are you sure?

Speaker 3 (01:30:43):
I've reined it in. Are you sure about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:30:47):
Okay, mine's loading.

Speaker 3 (01:30:48):
Okay, account. 4.9.

Speaker 1 (01:30:50):
4.91.

Speaker 3 (01:30:51):
I'm on 4.83. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:30:53):
Sucker.

Speaker 1 (01:30:53):
Because you had that vomit incident in the back, didn't you? Yeah,
that did cost me dearly, even though it wasn't me.
That means I'm the better person on the show, isn't it? Just, though. Just,
by point one.

Speaker 3 (01:31:02):
By that metric.

Speaker 6 (01:31:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:31:04):
You're the best person on the show.

Speaker 1 (01:31:04):
And Vaughan's the shittest.

Speaker 3 (01:31:05):
I'm the terrible, terrible, terrible. On many metrics. This is true.

Speaker 1 (01:31:09):
I counted 79 all rights today, Fletcher, but that's a
new personal record. Oh, f * * * off. How
many of those did you count?

Speaker 3 (01:31:15):
79 of those, too. All right.

Speaker 1 (01:31:17):
Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate
and review.

Speaker 3 (01:31:21):
Oh, f * * * off.