Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st September 2026 - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
From the ZM Podcast Network, this.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Is Fletch, Fletch Wood and Hayley's Big Pod.

Speaker 3 (00:05):
Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at
the lowest prices. Where are you babes? Well, I actually
can't say because I've signed an NDA.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Wow, this is incredible.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
And you know that I love reality shows.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Fawn's got no, um... It won't even light up.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Oh, that's because you're on the different profile.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Oh, it's just you and me, Fletch. Fawny, do you
want to trot off home?

Speaker 4 (00:28):
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 5 (00:30):
Bye.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Don't give him an excuse. Don't give him an excuse.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
You're broadcasting from our lovely New Plymouth studio.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
We can't give away the filming location.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Oh, shit, sorry. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
I signed an NDA for this TV show. Good Lord.
You did. Anyway, we'll get this sorted. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
No, Vaughan, just go home on.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
What about this one?

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Oh, this one's working. Yeah, but they won't have to
sit too close. I'll say it.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Fletcher's actually, Hayley's movie that she wrote is doing some reshoots.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
And Fletcher's been cast as the worm that was Amelia
Clarke all along.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
The NDAs, bro.

Speaker 6 (01:09):
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
What do you think I made these things? Not many
people listen to this show. She was a worm all
along and Fletcher's playing one of the three worms. that
made up Emilia Clarke's arms, legs and torso. Voltron of worms.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Again, Vaughan, we can't say. We can't give it away. Vaughan,
you've got the top six coming up.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, Glenfield Mall. We've talked about this weirdly quite a
bit on the show. It was for sale. I think
it's because Fletch and I have both lived with Glenfield
Mall on the north shore of Auckland, being our local mall. Yeah,
great butter chicken back in the day. Oh, I can
smell it from here. Great butter chicken. Well, it's been
sold to some Australians. So I've got the top six
signs your mall's in Aussie now.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Oh, that's good.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Next on the show, though.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
There's a man who was suffering with a little bit
of bladder control, so he took matters into his own hands.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Nappies. Don't need a doctor?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, you'd think.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
You'd go a bit of nappy, I reckon, or a pad.
Something a bit more extreme, Vaughan. I'll tell you next.

Speaker 7 (02:00):
The Fletchborn and Hayley Big Pod.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Okay, there's a 41-year-old man in Iran. He had been
having some urinary incontinence.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Now.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
41? Have you guys started experiencing that? Men in your 40s?

Speaker 3 (02:16):
No, no. No, that's a doctor's visit, isn't it? Because
of the prostate. Doesn't an enlarged prostate sit against the
urethra and so you think you're finishing your, and you
get a little dribble.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Little dribble.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
And that's definitely, you should go to the doctor if
you're experiencing any signs of a prostate inflammation.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Oh no, not this 41-year-old. He was just like sick
of it and didn't want to, you know, go down
the depends route. of adult pads.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Also, it can be weird just going in and asking
another man to look at your penis.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
It shouldn't be weird if that other man is a medical.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Well, it is if it's Mitre 10, but it's not
if it's a doctor.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
You're not going into, like, auto super shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. G'day, Ralph.
What do you reckon of this, mate? What can I
get you today? Get a finger of ass. Is that inflamed?
That's not a super cheap order.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Can I get a double cheeseburger, please?

Speaker 3 (03:05):
Six-pack of chicken nuggies. Hunting and fishing don't need that.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Look at my pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Go to a doctor. Mr.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Glassons.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
I'm having an issue with my pain.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Mr.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Glassons.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Men work it.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
I thought it was Mrs.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
There's a Mr. and Mrs. Glassons.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
She works the shop floor. I would have thought it
would have been a Mr. and a Mr. Glassons. Well,
that's your prejudice. It is, isn't it?

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
And I've got some work to do.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
So this man, a month of urinary incontinence, he decided
he was going to take medicine to his own hand
rather than popping to the doctor. And he just got
some super glue and he glued the tip of his
peen clothes, Fletch. Good Lord. Yeah, well, he thought it
would help control his bladder, which it did.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Briefly.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
I don't like this at all. It's like a plug
or putting a thumb over the end of it.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, but you do need that to open again at
some stage, don't you, to actually urinate.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yeah, I don't know what the sort of longer plan was,
but after four days, you won't believe it, it started
to burn a bit when he felt the need and
had such reduced urine flow. It was like... You know
like when you see a hose on the ground and
it's got a small prick through it?

Speaker 3 (04:11):
It's been sitting in the sun for too long and
it's developed just a slight crack.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
He's going like that. So he had complete urinary retention,
which is like really bad.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
That'll screw the kidneys, right? Yeah, you cannot pee.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Like he was just holding on to days of urine,
risks kidney damage and serious infection. So he went to
the hospital and I don't know why this detail's in
the article, but he was erect.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
When he arrived.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
Well, it just filled up, didn't it? It just filled
up like a water balloon.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Just filled up.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
No, they thought it was likely due to the hardened
glue inside. Hardened glue. Now, this happened in Iran? Iran, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Imagine that. You do that, you're like, oh, thank God
no one's ever going to find out. Other side of
the world. Here we are in New Zealand.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
11 minutes past six on a Tuesday morning having a laugh.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Doctors had to, they were having a little feeling. They
could feel this kind of like needle of the hardened
glue through the track of the urethra, through the erect penis.
And so they had to do a cystoscopy, which is
a camera scope into the urethra. But they couldn't get through.
They were jamming it in. jamming it in completely blocked.
So then they had to make an incision at the

(05:21):
head of the member and flush it through with saline
to loosen the glue.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Got rid of it.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
They extracted a 10-centimetre solid rod of glue.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
I was... Because you were already explaining here, you know,
if you've ever had the caulking gun out and you're like, oh,
that's enough caulking for now, and you ram it.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Put a nail?

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, you put a nail at it, but then when
you pull it out, you pull out all the hard
stuff with it. It was exactly that.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Oh, Jesus. Good news. Incision... The solid glue rod removed,
stitched up, and shortly after was urinating normally. Now, I
don't know if any of this helped the underlying issue
of why he was experiencing some incontinence in the first place.
But they just want people to know that don't do

(06:06):
this because you will get a solid rod of glue
in your penis, and that's probably not... any way that
we want to.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
Be doing that. No. No. Hello. We talked about this
a while ago. The Glenfield Mall was for sale. A
bit of a legendary establishment for those on the North
Shore of Auckland. Did some loitering around there myself back

(06:35):
in the... Did you loiter? Very early 2000s.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
Didn't mind a loiter. Also the home of my very famous...
First attempt at the full pounder.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Sorry? Which is where you buy four quarter pounders. I
don't think you should be doing that in the bathrooms
at Westfield.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
I don't know if we're doing a full pounder at
Mall Vaughan.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
The expulsion of the full pounder is a story unto itself,
but the full pounder is four quarter pounders eaten as
one burger. One.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
I love a Cordy P. I know, Fletch, you love
a Cordy P.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
I love a Cordy P, but just one, thanks. Just
one's good. And then my secondary burger or nuggets. Is
that precisely? They used to do $ 2 Big Macs. This
is showing my age. It was the year 2000 when
the Twin Towers stood proudly. Oh, but not for long.
On Manhattan skyline, but not for long. Yeah, we didn't know.
And a house was 50 cents. We did go for
a Kimizutori butter chicken at, The Glenfield Mall, the day

(07:30):
the Twin Towers fell. I don't know why I can
remember that. That's coming up 25 years, by the way.
Did you go for the combo and get a Coke
as well?

Speaker 1 (07:36):
Of course.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
A full anon and a Coke, $ 10.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
To honour the firefighters.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
A nice big fat butter chick.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
Got some great things that happened at the Glenfield Mall.
Claire tried to hold my hand. I'm like, we're not
that serious.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Claire, back off, bitch. Jeebus.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
We're not that serious. I don't want people to see us.
We're not holding hands.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
So who's trying to buy it?

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Well, no, it's been purchased by Ross and Dallas Pentagrass.
Come on, you're Ross and Dallas. They're Australian. So, oh, no,
they were the ones that sold it. They sold it
to an Australian syndicate for $ 146 million.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Guys, we should have chipped in and bought it. Imagine
the Fletchford and Hayley Glenfield Mall.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Ross and Dallas were the real estate agents that managed
to flick this one off. But I've got the top
six signs that you're on malls in Aussie now. Number
six on the list, it's got a coal mine under it. Man,
the people working there are making some money. All the
FIFO workers in the food court. And you can tell
it's them because they've just got bright white teeth and
they've had all this work done and they're just talking

(08:36):
about the next time they get to fly straight to Bali.
And man, they're tanned, eh?

Speaker 5 (08:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Number five on the list of the top six signs
your mall's in Aussie now. It's got giant corks around
the roof to keep the pigeons off. Just hanging from
the gutters. Yeah, yeah. Just trying to bang off the thing.
Number four on the list of the top six signs
your mall is in Aussie now. The McDonald's is officially
known as Macca's. Even on the sign it says Macca's.

Speaker 6 (08:59):
Oh, really?

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah, it says Macca's. Don't tell me they're changing Hungry Jack's. Oh,
I hadn't thought about the in-wall.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah, Burger King.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
Burger King to a Hungry Jack's.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Ma'am.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
God, no, surely not. Why can't we just agree on
one name for the same company?

Speaker 1 (09:13):
No, it's a famous story of a guy that has
the trademark and won't sell it to them.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
Stubborn old prick.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Great.

Speaker 3 (09:20):
I had no idea.

Speaker 4 (09:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
In Australia. It's only in one state of Australia, isn't it?
Only Queensland that he owns it, but they're like, we
can't have a Burger King in New South Wales and a,
Hungry Jacks in Queensland. Some wacky story. And he's, Fletch
is right, it's just some stubborn old white dude that's like, nah.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Funny.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Number three on the list of the top six signs
your mall is in Australia now. The pet store has
kangaroos in it. Yes. Yeah, that'd be good.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
What mall has a pet store? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
Do they have pets in this meal?

Speaker 2 (09:50):
And what mall has a pet store with pets in it?

Speaker 1 (09:53):
I'm harking back to the good old days of the 2000s.

Speaker 3 (09:57):
Yeah, they used to back in the day. They used to, yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
But not anymore.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
You wouldn't go to a mall and see kittens. You
might if they were adopting them out. Maybe. These are
just on display. Someone's going to come get them at
the end of the day. In a pop-up store next
to some Turkish lamps. My cat Anakin was in a mall.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Really?

Speaker 5 (10:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
It was a pop-up beside the sock kiosk.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Don't want to talk about Anakin though, do we?

Speaker 3 (10:18):
He passed away in 19, in 20, 20? He died
of COVID. Number two on the list of the top
six times your mall is in Aussie now.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Excuse me.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Laughing at my... Weren't we at.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
Your house the night before?

Speaker 3 (10:33):
He was an anti-vax kid. He was anti-vax, yeah. Well,
I said to him, I said, Anakin, you can't storm
Parliament's grounds and throw cobblestones at the playground and set
it on fire.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
He huffed the first brick.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Yeah, and he called me a cop out and said
it was the chemtrails and I'd swallowed the blue pill.
He loved the Rogan podcast too. But anyway, number two
on the list of the top six signs your mall's
in Aussie now are the toilets are labelled Sheila's and Fella's. Yeah, right.
And number one on the list of the top six zones,
your malls in Aussie now. It's casually using the C-bomb 15%

(11:04):
more than it was when it was a Kiwi mall. Yeah.
Don't get me wrong. It was using it when it
was a Kiwi mall.

Speaker 5 (11:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
It's using it 15% more. Yeah. In a casual and often,
you know, nice way.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Sounds like Helen Starnes.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
Complimentary way. Made for sick.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is today's top six. Well, if
you've ever been to a Chili's in America, you'll know
everything's supersized, including the drinks. Chili's, baby back ribs.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
I want my baby back, baby back. That's just my
fat bastard impersonation from the.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Third Austin Powers gold member.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
Was fat bastard in the spine that shagged me?

Speaker 3 (11:48):
No, was that the first one? No, International Man of
Mystery is the first one. Spy that Shagged Me, Goldfinger.
I don't think, no, Fat Bastard's only in the third.
Was Fat Bastard in the second? And he talks about,
he goes on the subway diet.

Speaker 6 (11:59):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
He comes back with his loose skin. Yeah, yeah. I'm
sure he was in the second and third one.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Maybe.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
Was Fat Bastard, we've been slightly derailed here. Sorry, sorry, Fletch.
In the second. Slightly derailed. Slightly derailed to the world
of Austin Powers. Yes, Fat Bastard was in the second
Austin Powers movie, The Spy Who Shagged Me. Oh, there
you go. Mike Myers played Fat Bastard alongside his other
role as Austin Powers and Dr. Evil.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Right.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
And then he was in the third one as well.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yes, where he gets skinny on the subway diet.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
Yes. Correct. If they do an Austin Powers 4 and
he's in it, he will have been on it. Like
the jabs.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yes. But he, fat bastard, looks at Mini-Me and is like,
like he wants to eat it.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
And then he goes, oh, well, my baby back, baby back.
And that's Chili's. That's Chili's baby back. Okay, there we go. Well,
Chili's is, now apparently Chili's not endorsed. But some bartenders
who work at Chili's have ordered online these little cards
that say, Chili's, you have been cut off. Please leave
quietly and no one will know. It's been a pleasure
to serve you, but it's time for you to leave

(13:02):
for the night. Now, Chili's isn't the only one. Apparently,
you can order these online for a multitude of like.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Bars or hospice or whatever. And then you just slip
it to the intoxicated patron. And instead of going like, oi, nah,
you're cut off at the bar.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
Make a scene.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Slip it to them.

Speaker 3 (13:17):
I don't know a lot. I don't like dealing with
drunk people. It's one of the main reasons- I get
a little bit anxious about going out in a crowd.
I don't trust drunk people, especially in a crowd. But
I can't imagine handing them a card is going to
make it any less of a scene when they decide
not to leave.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
No.

Speaker 3 (13:32):
Like can they even read it? This is also true.
I'd be like, are you trying to hit on me? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
Are you slipping me your number?

Speaker 3 (13:42):
So, yeah, they can pass that over to you.

Speaker 4 (13:44):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
At the bartender's discretion.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
I actually, I don't think in all seriousness– I don't
think I've actually ever been cut off from a bar.
I think the only thing that I've ever been is
not allowed in. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (13:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
And I do think it's ironic if they let you
in and then they have to cut you off at
the bar and sort of like, you did this, you know.
Someone was giving me these drinks.

Speaker 3 (14:11):
Yeah, true. And it wasn't me.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
You did it. But I've definitely, because Fletch, yours kind
of do the same. But the eyes give it away.

Speaker 5 (14:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Like, you can walk, you can talk.

Speaker 3 (14:25):
And everything, but the eyes start splitting in different directions. Yeah, well,
we're tired. We get up so early.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
Don't we get up so early?

Speaker 2 (14:34):
4 o'clock.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
I haven't even had that much to drink. Well, this
is a good idea.

Speaker 6 (14:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
A little handover cards to help people leave discreetly and
let them know they've had enough.

Speaker 7 (14:46):
Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
Well, it's a little poll today dealing with how many
times one should shampoo one's hair before conditioning it.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Well, remember it used to be like you'd shampoo your
hair and then you'd be like glob on all the conditioning.
It makes it feel so silky. And then you'd wonder
why it didn't last. And then you'd go to the
hairdressers and they'd wash your hair and you'd be like,
why is it so good for so long?

Speaker 3 (15:26):
The double shampoo. There's a hairdresser's message, and as a hairdresser,
I always advise you should shampoo twice before conditioning. The
first shampoo lifts everything, and the second removes all the
ick and cleanses. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Because the first one's not even cutting through all the
shit that's in there.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah. But if that's the case, why is the supermarket
bottle not double the size of the conditioner?

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, but why was the conditioner not double the size
of the shampoo?

Speaker 3 (15:48):
The conditioner always runs out before the shampoo. Yeah, but
it shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Now I'm running out of shampoo earlier. And I'm going
to look after the hair that this woman in India
grew for me.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
It must be nice. Well, I don't have hair.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Remember I bought it.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
This is a kick in the tits. I don't have hair.
I'm buying so much shampoo and conditioner because I've got
two daughters that do have a lot of hair. And
a girlfriend with a lot of hair too. She's got
a lot of hair.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah, bitch.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
Everyone's got a lot of hair. Except for me.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
And me.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Somehow I got blamed for a long hair in the
house the other day. This must be yours. I said,
I'm the one person in this house that simply can't
belong to. The dog's more likely to be blamed than I.
We've talked about your pubes. Yeah, we've travelled to the
beach with you before, Vaughan. Your pubes are straight and long.
It's because I washed them twice with shampoo before conditioning
them thoroughly.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Shiny.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Shiny and soft.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
I did ask you to weave them into a wig
for me as a woman who struggles to grow hair
and you were like, you've crossed a line.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
I did, I did. It just crossed a little bit
of a personal boundary of mine. My own personal boundary.
Similar to Paul when washing her hair, how many times
do you shampoo? 55% of you twice, 45% of you once.
So the twice is just. Yeah, we've learned. Michael said,
I'd like to let you guys know I can't contribute
to this one because I'm bored. I'm sorry, but I'm
enjoying the show.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
I didn't know he was bored.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
That's lovely.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
That's a lovely bit of information.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Thank you, Michael.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
We are a show for bored people.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
Rachel said, I do it twice because Homer Simpson said
it once. Rinse, lather, repeat. I thought it was.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
Eat, sleep, drink, repeat.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
That's one of the ways. Or rave repeat. Rave repeat.
That sounds like it belongs on a Supre t-shirt in
the mid-2000s.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
I also thought it was keep calm and carry on,
but here we are.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
Bailey said, only depending on how much cow poo and
milk I have in my hair, sometimes it's three times
for a shampoo before I can dish.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
Poo and milk.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
Poo and milk.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
That's the name of my Rockwest bed.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
Poo and milk.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
What's up?

Speaker 2 (17:37):
We're poo and milk.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
And this is our song, wash twice, maybe thrice. Once
for a freshen up, says Taylor. Since it's been a while,
if it's been a while, I'll do it twice. Or
if I've had gel or hairspray in before, it's also twice.
Although my first round of shampoo is just my partner's
cheap head and shoulders stuff. Then I use my expensive
stuff on the second time around. You've got to be

(17:59):
careful with head and shoulders. You might not know this, Fletch.
You might not know this, Vaughn.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Absolutely rips hair dye from hair.

Speaker 5 (18:04):
Does it?

Speaker 3 (18:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, if you have
dyed hair like I do, do not.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Use head and shoulders.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
I use the head and shoulders in the beard to
control the beard drop.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
And that's why you've got the.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Is this why I've got the.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
The bleached middle bit.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
The bit around here. Like, right there. There's a different
colour to here.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Here in particular, it's slightly bleached.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
There's grey bits here. There's a bleaching around the mouth.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
Like, you've had a small acidic sort of... Liquid?

Speaker 3 (18:28):
What could it possibly be? Pippa said, if Instagram tells
me to wash it twice because it gets the extra
dirt out of my head, I'm going to do it.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Megan said, I have thick, curly hair. That first shampoo layer,
that ain't doing much at all.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Jane, just once, but sometimes I use a stronger one.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
I do, however, wash my face twice.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Yeah, double cleanse. Double cleanse everything.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
She's got a dirty face.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
Double cleanse everything.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
A double cleanse. Amy said, I actually wash it three times.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
That's OTT. You're just wasting product at this point.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
Horano says, TF, did I miss the memo or something?
Why am I wasting shampoo doing it.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
More than once?

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Because you're not actually cleaning your hair properly. Yeah, got
to do it twice. Sometimes once, sometimes twice. Depends on
the mood. But more often than not, it's just once
for me, said Gemma. CBF. What does that stand for?
That can't be fudged. Fudged or fluffed, interchangeable, depending on
what region you're from. So a little poem in washing
your hair, how many times do you shampoo? 55% of you? No,

(19:29):
you're already doing it twice.

Speaker 7 (19:31):
Play ZN's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, it's nine past seven. The show
is thanks to Chemist Warehouse. If you need a last
minute gift for Dad, Philips Sonicare Electric Toothbrush, now $ 79. 99
at Chemist Warehouse.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
Fletch, you just said grab an egg and join us.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Hayley's just grabbed an egg and joined us. I actually
Grab an egg and join us. Coincidentally, not even thinking
about this, grabbed a whole lot. My chickens by the
way are cromming.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
Can you clean their cloaca juice off these eggs, man? No,
give us the authentic free-range feel.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
It's a bit ming.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
I'll give them a rinse, but I'm not scrubbing the egg.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
The authentic feel is like a nice delicately placed feather.

Speaker 5 (20:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
Not cloaca residue. I learned at the weekend about an
egg cleanse. Now, I heard someone was doing an egg cleanse.
Why am I really.
And I thought they meant they were eating nothing but
eggs or some, like, wacky diet.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
There was that Vogue diet, right, which was, like, a
boiled egg and a black coffee, boiled egg and a
black coffee, cigarette... Probably a line of Coke and then
a bottle of black coffee. And they're like, you'll drop
pounds in days.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
You also lack any basic nutrition. I mean, an egg's
got a bit of good stuff in it. Yes, but
not enough for a diet.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
So I watched this woo-woo TikTok on how to do
an evil eye egg cleanse. Now, this isn't a cleansing
of the body. This is a cleansing of the spirit, Fletch.
Is your spirit clogged, Fletchy?

Speaker 1 (20:54):
No, I don't think I've got any evil spirits around.
Going at me?

Speaker 3 (20:59):
Really? Who knows? But you may have someone wishing you ill.
Someone may have placed an evil eye on you, and
this is how to get rid of the evil eye,
using the egg.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
Okay, so get an egg, all right? I've got an egg.
A whole, uncracked, raw egg. Do you throw it at them? No.
The egg can't be like, talk shit about me. I
don't know what sort of hell one would unleash if
one was to throw the egg at the end. So
this is what you get, a whole, uncracked egg. Hayley,
you've got this. I've got this. Rubbing it over your body,
starting at the head, moving down.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
It's got cloaca juice on it.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
Okay, good. Why don't you rub it on your switch?
Small rub. Okay. On the head. On the head. Bit
of a blessing. Bit of the intention of what you
want the egg to take away from you.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (21:37):
What do you want out? Have you been feeling like...
I've had a bit of anxiety recently. Yeah, well, put
it into the egg. Think about the egg. You're removing
the anxiety from those parts of your body and putting
it into the egg. Am I rubbing it further down?
It's looking ridiculous. Go down the arms. Go down the arms.
Take it all out of the body. Take it all
out of there. Yep, down in the fingers and the hands.
Back on the other one. Back on the other one.
Down the body. Maybe if you're worried about certain parts

(21:59):
of the body. Between the boobies.

Speaker 5 (22:01):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
The boobies? Other parts, the different parts of the body.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
The chest is where I feel all my anxiety.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
Okay, boy, spend some time on the chest. Think about
all the anxiety going into the.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
Oh, this is cheaper than Virginia every week.

Speaker 3 (22:13):
Oh, yeah. Oh, we need a glass of water. It's
quite weird seeing you rub it on your boobs.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Shannon, we need a glass of.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
Water and some salt. We need some glass of water.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
And some salt. We've started putting the intention into the egg.
We haven't had the cleansing. We haven't got the full process.
Keep going, keep going. Keep putting more into the egg.
More into the egg.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
I'm at the belly button. We'll put it in the
belly button.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, put it in the belly button. Yuck, I hate that.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Shannon's just getting some water. Keep putting it. Go down
the legs. Go down the legs.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Legs.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yeah, because I do sometimes, you know, just sort of.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Fill it in the legs.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, get in my legs a little bit.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
Fill it in the legs.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
Shannon's here. We need salt. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
She's going in the kitchen. We need salt ASAP. This
whole show is like a cooking show today.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
We've got a full kitchen set up.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
We've got a full kitchen in here. Now I've got
my anxiety egg. You put it in the egg?

Speaker 5 (22:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
Now you've got to crack the egg into the glass.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
This is a waste of an egg. It's a waste
of an egg. I've got lots of eggs, man. Okay.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
We've got some.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
Okay, so now you crack the egg into the glass. Okay.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
It's carrying all my anxiety.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
I feel it's really good. Yeah, you put it all
into the egg. Okay.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Eggs in the glass.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Okay. Sunk to the bottom. Okay, that means something. I've
got what the different things I can see in the
glass mean about your situation.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
This is the biggest load of shit ever. Now, what's
the salt? Where's the salt?

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Shandog's got salt. Do I salt the water?

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Not yet.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
Okay, not yet.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Not yet. Let's have a quick read of it.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
There's a cloudy or milky appearance that's thought to indicate
the person was sick energetically.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
So you've got some cloudiness there.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
I've got some clear at the top. Is it on
the top? Is the bubble formed on the top? Which
is at the top of my head is sick energy.
Bubbles or foam rising from the egg or forming on
the surface is interpreted as fever, illness, or that someone
put an evil eye on you. I've got three bubbles
at the top here.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Who the hell is hexing me?

Speaker 5 (23:57):
I'm lovely.

Speaker 3 (23:58):
I'm adorable. Stringy or web like white sometimes read as
someone's envious of you.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Someone's envious of you.

Speaker 5 (24:03):
No wonder.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
Look at me.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
And they've directed ill will it. Yeah, well, no wonder.
I mean, look at the success you're having.

Speaker 2 (24:09):
Look at, absolutely.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
Has the egg, has it sunken? Is it oddly shaped?
The yolk? No, the egg is perfect.

Speaker 5 (24:16):
The yolk?

Speaker 3 (24:16):
Okay, that's good.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
The yolk is stunning.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Okay, it's a stunning yolk. That can be interpreted as
an emotional imbalance or something being wrong.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
No, no, I'm good.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
Smell? Has it got a smell? Let me leave a
little waft of the egg water.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Neutral.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
Okay, neutral. That's good. That means no spiritual attacks or
negative energy.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Thank Christ.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
Streaks or lines running vertically. Yes. Yes. I have streaks
and lines running vertically. That is a person's specific negative
intent or there's a cord of bad energy and it's
great because it's in the egg.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Who's hexing me?

Speaker 3 (24:45):
It's in the egg. Now get some salt on that.
Who do you think is hexing you? Get some salt
on that egg.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
I don't know. I'm trying to think of who I've
done dirty recently. Okay.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
I could think of sort of a couple of people.
Salt the egg. Salt the egg. Think about it.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Oh, what am I thinking? What's my intention?

Speaker 3 (25:01):
I'm just so roared off. I want this gone. I
want this out of me. No more egg.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Get out of me.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
This person who wishes me ill intent will no longer
hold this power upon me.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
Now we've got to discard the egg. Well, I thought
you were going to tell me to drink it. I
was about to tell you to drink it. So that's what,
when I was watching this video, the woman was like,
you can add anything. She's just adding spices, Will and Ellie.
She's got the whole spice drawer out. She's getting... Some cumin.
Some cumin in there. Some paprika, spices, chilli, everything. I'm like,
star anise? Star anise? She is going to.
No wonder it's going to be a cleanse. If she

(25:32):
drinks a raw egg and all the spice, she's going
to blow it out the other end. So now I
ditch this. Now you go and pour it down the sink,
discard it. She put it in the toilet and she
flushed the toilet three times and didn't look at the
egg the entire time. I do have a pee in me.
I could take it to the bathroom. Okay, take it
to the bathroom. Don't pee on it.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
What if Tony Street sees me dipping a salty egg
into the toilet? I'll be embarrassed.

Speaker 3 (25:52):
Streetie's all over the egg. Streetie's doing the egg cleanse.
Why is Mike Hosking using the female bathroom? Mate, the
amount of times I've seen him in there.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
He sits.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yeah, he sits.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Dude sits to pee. And when the men's are busy
and there's only urinals, he's like, no. Yeah. Okay, so
now you've got to go get rid of that egg,
flush it and be gone. That's the egg cleanse.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
And so my anxiety, clinical, medicated, will be gone.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
Gone.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Into this egg.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
Stop your... Stop your medication. Stop your medications. Raw dog?
Raw dog your medications.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
I'll pop around later on. This is the thing. First
egg free. Now my eggs start getting expensive. Oh, so
you're charging a service now for this egg clip. Now
I'm charging to stand over and watch this.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in
my life. And people are doing this for real?

Speaker 3 (26:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
I mean... I think that this woman that was doing
it was really like saying all of her problems out loud.
And I think once you say things out loud and
address it and give it some specific thought, you can
let go of something a little bit more.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
If it makes you feel better because you are sort
of in your head letting go of something.

Speaker 3 (26:59):
Into an egg. And the egg looks like a head.
So really you're just putting your head problems into another head.
And now you've got to go flush it in the
toilet quick before it escapes back into you.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Now I'm going, I'm just trying to head to, I've
spelled official wrong.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
Official.com.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
MileyOfficial.com is the new name of Miley Cyrus' website because
just quietly there's whispers that there's new music inbound, which
we love Miley on this show.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
Love Miley.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
We do. And on her website, MileyOfficial.com, she's dropped the Cyrus.
She's dropped Cyrus from her name. It's just Miley as
the branding.

Speaker 3 (27:47):
She's also changed her handles and stuff. How hard would
it have been for her to get that?

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Pretty hard, I guess.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
I reckon whoever had at Miley, she probably would have
had to pay them a fortune for it.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:59):
Or Instagram would have just kicked them off. Yeah. Oh,
they wouldn't dare.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
Because I know that there's been contention right in the family.
Like she was first kind of fighting with her mum
and then not fighting with her mum and then parted
ways with her dad like publicly for a couple of years.
And then I believe there was word that she has
reconciled with her dad publicly. did she have a photo
with him recently or something like that? And obviously they
would have been brought back together with the death of

(28:24):
our dear and beloved Dolly Parton, her godmother, and obviously
a very good friend of her dad's.

Speaker 3 (28:30):
But she's rebranding. She's doing a Zendaya. She's doing a Madonna.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
And if you go on a website, it just says Miley,
no Cyrus in sight. And then everyone's like, new music?
But is there no, there's no official word on the
new music, Vaughn, you were just looking up?

Speaker 3 (28:42):
No, no, yeah, no official release date. Fans are speculating
it could be as early as like early September, which,
by the way, happy September. Yeah, happy 1st of September.
Happy September.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
Remember, remember the 1st of September. And so reportedly, but
not from her official team, a 10-song album is on
the way, follow-up to 2025's Something Beautiful. That's light.

Speaker 3 (29:08):
That obviously had flowers on it. That's light. 10 songs.
I don't know. I feel like if your songs are
now sitting at two minutes, two minutes 30, you should
be making 18-song albums.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
I think a 20-minute album's sick.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
We used to call that an EP back in the day.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
You could just do the whole thing. We could do
the whole thing in one break. So she's with Atlantic Records.
They haven't, yeah, they haven't.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
Because she was with Sony on like Wrecking Ball days. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
And she's like re-signed and maybe this would be the
first release under Atlantic. Records. I mean, it's all hearsay
for now, but the gossip, everyone's like, what does this mean?
The website's changed. All of the things have changed. She's
just Miley. Does that mean she's like wanting to separate
publicly from her dad and her mum and whatnot?

Speaker 1 (29:53):
The Cyrus.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
I think she's just famous enough. There's no other super
famous Miley's, so she probably didn't need it.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Yeah, I know. Well, yes, go on her socials because
there's lots of Easter eggs being dropped.

Speaker 7 (30:04):
The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yesterday, on the back of the fact that someone... What
was the precipice of the.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Not the precipice.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
It was the rotten fruit in the display jar on
the bench.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
And someone washing their feet. Hey, hey, hey. Porridge Bran
remembered something.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Did you take your fish oil?

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Fish oil. No, I can't. I can't take the fish
oil because of the burps. I'm really going to somehow
get those omegas without the fish oil tablets. You should
just have salmon. Salmon.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
Eight minutes in the air fryer.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
Eight minutes in the air fryer. Great way to cook it.
I'm just going to write that down because I'll never remember.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
Fish oil.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
Fish oil because I can't because of the burps. We
just don't have the time for those.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
We just don't have the time.

Speaker 3 (30:47):
So yesterday, yes, we talked about this, right, Fletch?

Speaker 2 (30:51):
The gross things that you've seen at restaurants, kind of
aimed at the restaurant.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
I think we need to flip the coin.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Because our lovely friend Jesse Mulligan, who we adore and respect,
but I am.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
Trying to start beef with him. Did you see the
video he put up yesterday on his social media? You
should find it. He's cycling in Paris.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Is he?

Speaker 3 (31:08):
And he's trying to get a selfie of him on
his bike with the Eiffel Tower in the background. Falls off.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
Eat shit. Wow.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
I think as the Parisians say, eat poo-poo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (31:20):
Eat poo-poo.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Mange le poo-poo. Mange le poo-poo.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Well, he did an interview. He was asking around hospo
workers to actually see what bad behaviour of customers.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, because if you don't know, he does a lot
of reviews for Viva, doesn't he?

Speaker 3 (31:35):
All the restaurant reviews. He does.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
And so while he was there, he was asking them,
you know, what's the craziest thing you've seen within your establishment?
It was everything from failed proposals, kids playing with electrical
sockets with forks. There were law firm partners scouring the
kitchen for whipped cream. Oh.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
For nangs. So they were law lawyers, eh? I thought
a highfalutin law firm partner wouldn't be ripping an egg. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
There was a guy who went into a restaurant and
he requested of the restaurant that his entire meal was
served completely raw. It was just, and someone was so sick,
they left a line of vomit across the restaurant all
the way to the toilet. And so this is what
we want to know. Hospo workers, what is the grimmest
customer behaviour you've seen?

Speaker 3 (32:29):
It's time for you to get your say. Let's flip it.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Immediately straight out the gate, our first message through. Barista here. Now, coffee.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
Delicious. Toenails on a plate and phlegm in a cup. Yuck.
If it's that bad, have a spit in the gutter,
you know. Or into a serviette or something. I don't know,
chuck it in the bin. Spitting's an outside activity to me.
I don't spit inside. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Really?

Speaker 3 (32:57):
Crazy. All right, vanilla warm's back. Spinning's back.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
But where are the toenails from? Did you come with
them in your pocket? Or did you clip them in
the cafe?

Speaker 3 (33:08):
That's disgusting. Or are you fingering them off? You know,
you rip them off.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
I'm so sorry for.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
That, Tessa. Okay, 0800-DARLSAN-M is our number. You can text
through 9696.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
What is the grossest customer behaviour you've seen? Yesterday we
talked about the grossest things you've seen at restaurants. Today
we are flipping the coin. We want to hear the
other side of things. Jessie Mulligan asked a lot of
hospo places the grossest customer behaviour. And some of it's unacceptable.
We've kicked off our first text. Toenails on the plate
and phlegm in a cup. What is the grossest customer

(33:40):
behaviour you have seen?

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Ella, good morning.

Speaker 6 (33:42):
Good morning.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Now, what kind of hospo do you work in?

Speaker 6 (33:47):
I work actually just at a pet store.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
I guess it's sort of animal hospo.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (33:52):
Well, is it going to be that like a dog pooped?
Because it's kind of what they do.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Not quite.

Speaker 6 (33:59):
So this lady came in one day and we have
sort of an outdoor area with aviaries. And she had
walked in, came to look at sort of some of
the birds. decided that she would take a few poos
next to the Avery.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
Wait, so a few poos, not just the one poo.
A few. No.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
Like nuggets.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
There were three.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
There were three distinct poos.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
What?

Speaker 3 (34:27):
How far apart were the poos?

Speaker 2 (34:30):
A few metres. A few metres? Wait, so she pooped
and then moved.

Speaker 5 (34:34):
And walked.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
Waddle, waddle, waddle.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
And then walked.

Speaker 3 (34:37):
And pooped again. Okay. Correct.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
And then did she buy a bird?

Speaker 3 (34:41):
Yeah, a cockapoo. No, she did not.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
So she really wasn't there looking at the birds, was she?
She was there to take a couple of dumps and
then leave.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
Yep. Who had to clean it up, Ella?

Speaker 6 (34:54):
My manager had to clean it up. I told him
I was not cleaning that up.

Speaker 3 (34:57):
Yeah, you're not paid enough. That's not under your jurisdiction. Yeah,
as a standard employee, under the standard employee contract. Well, Ella,
thanks so much for sharing that.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
Didn't think we were going to get there so early on. Nikki,
what was the gross customer behaviour you saw?

Speaker 5 (35:11):
Yeah, so we had a couple check in for a
romantic night away at our hotel.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
Oh, you were at a hotel, yeah.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
The next morning, our head housekeeper goes around and checks
all the rooms, asks people to park, and there was
a lovely distinct smell coming out of the shower. And
upon investigation, we found that someone had pooped in the
shower and squished it down the shower drain.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
Oh, their waffles stomped it.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Waffles stomped.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Exactly.

Speaker 5 (35:40):
A total waffle stomp.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Oh, Nicky.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Nicky.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
No, you're not cleaning it, are you?

Speaker 3 (35:46):
You're just getting a hot shower on there.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Oh, no.

Speaker 5 (35:50):
To be fair, we have to clean it because obviously
we have to resell the room and stuff, but we
document everything and we send it to the client to say, hey,
you've been charged a cleaning fee. The guy had a
tanty and phoned his mummy and his mum then phoned
our owners and threatened them... was for you.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
Legal action.

Speaker 5 (36:10):
And, yeah, they ended up taking out the small claims.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
Court, getting it.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
The judge laughed and threw it out and said, just
don't prove again.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
I'm sorry, but if I shit in a shower and
then stomped her, I'd be like, let's not draw any
more attention.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
I'm not going to a government-recognised court of law to
defend myself for pooping in a shower. I'm just like,
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 5 (36:29):
So did you personally have to attend a small claims
court hearing? No, luckily it was all through emails and
stuff like that. But we did have a video conference
with a judge post the fact, because obviously you've got
to kind of like do the small bits and pieces.

(36:51):
And he was laughing so hard. He's like, in his
time doing this, he's never had anyone come to him.
court with a court claim.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
That must be so nice for a judge who's dealing with,
you know, horrible things and people being ripped off and businesses,
you know.

Speaker 5 (37:03):
The thing is though, it's not the first time. Like
it's happened multiple times posted, like with corporate travellers and stuff.
It's really, I think it's a weird fetish.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
It's a fetish.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah, it's intentional, eh?

Speaker 3 (37:17):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
So you got no money out of the small claims?

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Well, Oh, did we lose Nikki? Oh, sorry, you're back.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
Do you get no money out of the small... Who
got the money awarded out of small claims?

Speaker 5 (37:32):
Oh, we got awarded the money. He got nothing.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Oh, good.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
Can you turn off your... I just want to know
the room number. I do travel a lot, so.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
I don't want that. I reckon you're best not to
even think when you check into a hotel about what
else has happened in that room previous.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Don't even.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
No.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
Because I know what I've done. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:52):

Speaker 3 (37:53):
And I'm white. Yeah. It was no waffle stomp, but,
you know, it'd see you in small climbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Nikki, thanks so much.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Amber. Amber.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
What is the, I'm almost afraid to ask, what is
the abhorrent customer behaviour you've witnessed?

Speaker 3 (38:07):
Long time listener, first time caller.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Oh, ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
Yeah, that's great. I've got blind boundaries.

Speaker 6 (38:13):
I'm not wanting to jump onto the poop train.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Oh, for God's sake, we're carrying three poopers.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
Not another one. I know.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
I used to work at a fast food restaurant that
has playgrounds.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
I won't name names. Oh, okay. We didn't find out
that a child had had a blowout going down the
slide until that family had left and another child had... No!
That's a free mop-up, though, isn't it?

Speaker 2 (38:46):
You know what I mean? That second kid.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
That poor kid's never forgetting that. Might be a smearer.
Might just come through and smear it down the entire slide.
Third or fourth, fifth, maybe sixth kid, send them down.
Send on a few paper towels.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
We chose to give the kid a bit of grace
and just assume it was an accident.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Close the slide. We're going to close on that slide. Horrible.
Thank you. Some messages in.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
I work in a cafe where a lady absolutely destroy
our toilet.

Speaker 3 (39:17):
She wasn't even a customer. She said she was going
to buy something on the way out and then she
sheepishly like skidded out and we went in and we
were like, oh my God.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
I'm just trying to sift through these to find ones
that are not thematically.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
I'm going to. vomit.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
Please.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
Served a lovely family who seemed to thoroughly enjoy the meal.
It wasn't until they left, they discovered a linen napkin
over a soup bowl filled with vomit to the brim.
No mention of it happening and no tip on the
way out. Always tip your way to staff if they're
going to have to deal with your vomit.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
I had a customer come into the bar that I
was working of in the middle of the day. He
was looking at the menu and a tooth fell out
of his mouth and he just left it there, kept
looking and read his order.

Speaker 3 (39:59):
I was working in retail.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
A customer came into the men's section, walked up to
the till, pulled his thing out and started having a
foo-foo right then and there.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
The girl who worked at the till grabbed the tip
jar and slammed it on it.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
Oh, anonymous please. Flight attendant here. A business class customer
hoiked and blew his nose into his hand and then
wiped it onto the napkin. Started during meal service, but
he hung onto that napkin the whole flight and it
carried on.

Speaker 6 (40:27):
Yuck.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
Oh, God. If that fast food place that that lady
mentioned before was in Green Lane and it was about 2001,
I'm sorry. It was my kid. I panicked and bolted.
Oh my God, we've connected the dots. But if it's not,
it's happened more than once.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Can we have a follow-up from that caller just to
confirm the location?

Speaker 5 (40:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
I'm not hospice, sorry.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
But I do work in a pharmacy and a customer
had to bring back a whole poo and just put
it on the counter. They thought that we do the
bowel screening test in store.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
Wait, but the poo was unbagged. No, it would have
been in like a bag. In a bag. I had
a customer in the middle of ordering have two teeth
fall out of their mouth. And he was like, whoops,
and just put them in a little pile.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
We've had multiple teeth.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
Ooh.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
My friend who owned a cafe came across a cut-off
dreadlock on a plate when clearing the table.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Jobless.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
And actually, jar bless, Rastafari. Jar bless. It must be
horrifying when you're a Rastafarian and you start balding. Because
it's not like us. We just started losing it in
the shower, and they just use it, losing ropes at
a time.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Well, no, messaging can confirm not that fast food restaurant.

Speaker 3 (41:38):
So that's a different story.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Okay, so there's been multiple.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Multiple smears.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
Yeah, there's been multiple. God, okay. I think customers are
the worst.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
I would say this compared to yesterday, looking at bad
restaurant behaviour, customers are the parts.

Speaker 3 (41:51):
Ex-Hedras here used to have a client who'd come in,
always booked the last appointment of the day, and while
he was having his hair washed, he'd touch himself under
the cape. I'd get a hair straightener on that, actually.
I'd teach him a lesson.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
I'd get a red-hot GHD wrapped around that ASAP.

Speaker 7 (42:09):
The ZN Podcast Network.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
This morning, Vaughan has his super sucky vacuum cleaner, and
we've got storage bags, and we're going to.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
Use those to... I don't even know how to explain
why we're doing this and how.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Hang on, there's this couch here on the go. I
need to get me one of those again.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
We couldn't afford one of those Russian pneumatic presses that
these guys are always crushing everything with. So we thought
the cheaper, easier version is to buy those vacuum seal
storage bags.

Speaker 4 (42:38):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
That you famously will pack your winter duvet into that.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (42:42):
Yes, and then slide it under the spare bed for summer.

Speaker 5 (42:45):
That's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (42:46):
Today's first day of spring, you must be due for
a duvet change. It will be soon. I've been getting
quite hot already.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
No, it's still chilly. It's still chilly.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
I don't do that change. I add a blanket, remove
a blanket. Okay, you're a blanket girlie.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Anyway, we've got pavs, rolls, marshmallows, candy floss, lamingtons, bread,
and a latent tree.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Well, that's after 8 o'clock on the show. I've just
been reading that Starbucks in the U.S. is now selling
three cold drinks for every one hot drink.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
That's a big change, right?

Speaker 1 (43:15):
And it's not just because it's their summer at the moment,
or that's just all the time?

Speaker 3 (43:20):
No, no, no. Annually, the cold beverages are making up
more than 70% of the U.S. drink sales.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
The frappes.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
Yeah. The iced lattes. And they're putting this in the
hands of Gen Z. 1997 through 2012. Killed it. So
they like to be able to order their tailored drinks
with all their bloody this, that, and the other bits
and pieces.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
This syrup and that, yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
This syrup, that syrup, but they like them cold.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
And is there a reason why or we're just liking them?

Speaker 3 (43:47):
Well, apparently Gen Z hot drinks make them nervous and anxious.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
So, like, I've got anxiety and if I have a
hot coffee like I did this morning in my new cup,
that I actually found at an op shop yesterday. A
beautiful branded cup from my favourite coffee brand, Fags. I've
just literally poured.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
It on myself.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
I've literally just... I didn't even know there was coffee
in there.

Speaker 3 (44:10):
That is, by the way... I think that's the third
time Hamish is pushing the buttons while Fletch is in
our new Plumas studio. That's the third time he's passed
you napkins. It is!

Speaker 2 (44:21):
Sorry.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
She's constantly handy.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
She's sloppy.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
She's a sloppy girl.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
I found a great coffee cup. But if I have
hot drinks... It's the heat that makes me anxious. If
I have a cold coffee, I don't get anxious.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
But if you have a hot coffee, you do. Even
in winter, you'll do a nice drink, won't you?

Speaker 2 (44:38):
Hot drinks, yeah, just make me feel sick. I was
going to say grow up, but grow down, actually. Because
we Gen Zs, we don't play around with hot drinks.
They're for old people.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
Hayley, you're 36. You're right in the middle of that millennial.
You're right in the middle of that millennial. I couldn't
be more millennial. You're right in the middle of it.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Me and Tay Swift.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
But you know that frappuccinos are always frozen, right?

Speaker 2 (44:59):
With ice, yes.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
That's what the FR stands for, frozen. Am I right?
You're correct.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
Crazy.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
What about the ball tea with the balls in it? Boba.
Boba tea. That has to be cold, right? Tapioca, yeah.
Otherwise it would melt the balls.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
Oh, hot tapioca, yeah.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
Okay, what about matcha? Can that be hot and cold?

Speaker 2 (45:17):
I don't care. It's dirty.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
I'm just excited.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
I'm just done with this. There's a pie in the
oven heating up. We've got food.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
We've got a camera set up to film it all.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Quick, 9696, if you're reheating a Big Ben pie and
it's in one of those plastic wraps, do you leave
it in the plastic wrap when you chuck it in
the oven?

Speaker 3 (45:34):
Because I was putting it in the plastic wrap in
the oven. I thought that was sort of a heat-proof plastic.
Shannon's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I thought
you just left them in there.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Yeah, and I said, no, you only had them in
the bag for the warmer to keep them warm. And
he said, How do you cook them then? In the
first place, how do they get in the bag?

Speaker 3 (45:49):
How do they get hot enough to be put in
the warmer? They must have to stay in the bag.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
No, they would have baked them, then bagged them. But
then they'd be steamy and moist.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
But then the warmer wouldn't be the warmer. I don't
even know. The warmer doesn't cook, the warmer simply keeps warm. 9696,
do you take it out of the bag, do you
leave it in the bag? How do they cook them
before they get them in the bag? All these questions.
Either way, we're going to be vacuum sealing some foods.

Speaker 7 (46:07):
The ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
ZM's Fletchpoint and Hayley.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
I don't know if Chemist Warehouse wants to be involved
in what we're about to do. I don't think they
want to be connected to the silliness.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
This is our job.

Speaker 5 (46:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
I thought this yesterday when I was at Pack and Save,
getting the goods that we discussed that we want to
vacuum pack, the foods. I was thinking, this is part
of my job. What a cool life.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
It all started because I questioned what a sponge log
would look like if you put it into a vacuum bag.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
Yeah, that's right. And we thought, you know, the big
vacuum bags that you actually get the vacuum cleaner on.
And we thought, why wonder? This is what being an
adult is. We can just make it happen. Do this
sort of thing.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
So we've got a loaf of Super Soft.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
Super soft.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
I went thick. The foofiest of reds.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:57):
You've got six mixed flavoured lamingtons. That sort of indicates
there might be more than two flavours, but there's only
chocolate and raspberry, of course.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
It's in the grid.

Speaker 3 (47:05):
We've got a sponge log, which was the original. In
my head, I'd pictured a chocolate sponge log.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
So would I, and I just want to shout out,
we all pictured a chocolate log, and I do apologise,
but actually that was the only one available.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
That's okay.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
For $ 5. 29, I'm not mad.

Speaker 3 (47:16):
We've got some jumbo marshmallows, a bag of candy floss,
a full pav, a pie, and a latecomer. We're going
to vacuum pack an egg.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
And it shells.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
And it shells. I love this. Because, you know, eggs, very,
very strong on the vertical, not so much on the horizontal.
So we're going to see if it breaks. We could
be creating art here.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
I think this is beautiful. I just want to paint
the picture as well for our listeners at home. The
bags are quite big, like half a metre big. Because,
you know, we're not doing it with the vacuum, like
the actual food vacuum.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
Sealer because we don't have one of those. And that's
not in the budget. So these are just from Bunnings.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
I believe. Storage bags.

Speaker 3 (47:52):
Storage bags. Storage bags.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
And we're going to start now by Vaughn. Were you
just working out your attachments, Han?

Speaker 3 (48:01):
Yeah, that's the one after, actually.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
By Vaughn doing the loading of the bags. But 9696,
which ones do you want us to see first?

Speaker 3 (48:10):
We're saving the sponge for last, right? I think sponge is...
As a fair to say, that's the champion because that
was the original idea.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Yeah, I think do the.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
I think the loaf of bread would be good to see.
I think that will... Do you think it will flatten
or will it not? We're taking the entire loaf out
of its bread bag.

Speaker 5 (48:25):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
And putting it in the.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
In our bag. Like that.

Speaker 3 (48:29):
Oh, that looks nice. Can we have a slice?

Speaker 1 (48:30):
And of course, I will just say that no food
will be wasted. We will be giving this to ducks
at a lake after the show.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
No, no, we don't give bread to ducks. That's no
good for them.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Our duck, our in-office duck, Shannon, who has been sniffing
around this mince and cheese pie. It's a big Ben's,
and she knows quality when she sees it.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
All right.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
If you hear that. Oh, this is exciting.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
Okay, now, just a reminder for the listeners that obviously
this is a visual medium, the radio, but later today...
on our socials, FVHZM, there will be a full montage
of all of these foods being vacuum sealed and flattened.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
And 9696, if you didn't have to go and live
an adult life today, what would you be vacuum packing?

Speaker 3 (49:07):
Just 9696 that.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
So the bread's in. I think we could do marshmallows
and candy floss in the same bag.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
I was going to say, we've got six bags and
eight things.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
So we are going to need some double ups.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
I think we do marshmallows, candy floss in the same bag.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Same bag. Could we do lamb? No, Pav kind of
needs its own bag. Pav is its own bag. I'm wondering,
does pie hop in with bread? No, that's insane. That's hot.
Bread's its own thing.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
I'm just going to seal. I'm just excited to see
what happens to the pavlova, to be honest.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
I will say it.

Speaker 1 (49:37):
Oh, shit.

Speaker 3 (49:38):
Oh, Hayley's dropped the pav. Fletch. Hayley, I saw it.
Hayley's dropped the pav. Look at that. Oh, good. You've
made Hayley.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
My apologies to NZ May. How did that happen? I'm
going to say it, and I'm not going to apologise
for calling this out.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Flimsy.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
Flimsy container.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
Flimsy container.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
It's okay. I'll clean it up. I will say the
pav is eggy and meringuey and perfect.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
It's going to go flat. It's going to go real flat.
It's going to go real flat.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
It's going to go really flat. I'll do a bit
of a clean up on this situation.

Speaker 3 (50:09):
So how are we going to do this? Are we
going to come back next? Yeah, we're going to bag.
And then start. We're going to bag everything. It's the
fourth time Hamish has had to give me napkins.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
We're going to come back next with everything bagged and
we're going to do this.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
We're going to suck the air out of these bags
and see how flat they get. I'm taking my jacket off.
We're packing.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
We're serious.

Speaker 3 (50:28):
We mean business. Okay.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Frantic energy in studio as we collectively bagged up all
of our goods in our vacuum seal bags. They are
ready to have the air sucked out of them. And
the text machine is most excited, I believe.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
About the marshmallows. About the marshmallows?

Speaker 5 (50:48):
Really?

Speaker 3 (50:48):
To go first. I would have thought the sponge log. No,
that's headlining. Okay, that's our last. I'm completely ignoring the people.
The loaf of bread's already on there.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
We've had mixed messages for what people want to go first. Okay.
Are we ready?

Speaker 2 (51:05):
We are ready.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
No time like the present, babe.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
We are starting off by vacuum packing the super soft,
here it goes, Okay, it's shrinking. Oh, can you see
that fletching?

Speaker 3 (51:19):
Yeah, I can see that on the Zoom. I always
like about these, you think, oh, it's sucked all the
air out of it, and then it finds some more
to suck. Whoa! Okay, is it, because did you.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Think the bread would go flat? I thought the bread
would go flat. It's kind of gone into each other,
hasn't it?

Speaker 3 (51:32):
It's gone in.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
It's created a solid kind of log mass.

Speaker 3 (51:37):
How would you describe that shape? Yeah, it's, okay, interesting.
Quite dense.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Quite dense. I think, yeah, turn that off.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
We're just going to pass it around.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
We've vacuum packed an entire loaf of super soft bread.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
It's immense.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
Do you know, this reminds me of when you're a
kid and you'd go supermarket shopping with mum and you'd
roughhouse the bread.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
And she'd get so angry because it wouldn't bounce back.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Or when you're with an amateur bag packer and they
put the loaf.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
At the bottom and then your watermelon on top. You
get it home and it's like this.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
And you're like, what am I supposed to do?

Speaker 3 (52:09):
It's very, because it's so moist. It's really done a
dense log. Okay, what do we do next?

Speaker 2 (52:14):
I think we should go satisfaction out of five. I
would give that a three.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
Three.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
Three on the satisfaction of the bag. I'd agree.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
Okay, next. We're going to eat that, by the way. Next,
we're going to do marshmallows and candy floss in the
same bag.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
Now, I think this is going to go super flat.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Yeah, we're hoping it's going to go super, super flat.

Speaker 3 (52:31):
Engaging vac.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
Engaging vac.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
Engaging vac. Okay, engaging vac. Here we go.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Now, these are right, oh, wow, the air sucks right
out of that immediately.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
We've had a marshmallow grab the vent. Oh, it's clogged
the hole. You might have to finger that away. Yeah,
I might have to. You know what I'm going to do?

Speaker 7 (52:48):
I'm just going to switch to glow.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
Oh, it's going to glow. Wow, these things really do
it all. No, I'm going to need to break the seal.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
Oh, no, no.

Speaker 3 (52:54):
Once you break the seal, there's no going back.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Oh, no, we've got a marshmallow in front of the vent,
which is preventing the suction.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
Now, just some messages in on the text machine.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Can I have the PAV?

Speaker 1 (53:04):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
I think the path's going to go really flat.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Yeah, me too.

Speaker 3 (53:09):
Okay, we've unclogged the marshmallow from the vent. Re-seal. Re-sealing
with a double slide. We're going to have to watch
that in the future.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Okay, here we go.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
So angle away, Vaughan, angle away to the side, yes. Yeah,
angle to the side. Oh, wow. That's already high on
the satisfaction level, isn't it? The marshmallows are expanding. The
marshmallows technically, they look like they got bigger.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
They became more powerful in the sack.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
They're melting together.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
They've actually, I would say they've sort of formed one
large mass.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Okay, how are you feeling on the.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
Yeah, it's not as exciting. Oh, it looks cool though.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
It kind of looks cool, but I expected flatter. Yeah.
I've got a real rubbery feel to them.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Is it a two? Chuck into me.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
Pav next. Yeah, that's a two.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
I think we get the pav in there.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
I'm excited for the Pav.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
What was your satisfaction out of five for the marshmallows
and candy floss, Hayley? Two.

Speaker 3 (54:13):
Yeah, same.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Well, it wasn't what I expected, to be honest. OK,
now for the Pav. I'm very excited. A lot of
people on the text machine excited about this one, too.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
The Pav is the.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
A Kiwi classic. It's not going down as much as
I thought it would.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
No, just stand by, stand by. You've called it prematurely there.
That's getting real flat. A little bit of a helping
hand from Vaughan there.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
He's squishing that. George is disappointed.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
He's looking at us like we're absolute idiots. I'm sorry,
this is A-grade radio, you know. You can't take this
idea for your show.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
Now, that was a really tall pav. How many inches
do you think that is?

Speaker 2 (54:56):
Is that even an inch? I'd say that was a
10 centimetre tall pav. Now one.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
One centimetre. That's a disc. That's the best one, yeah.
That's a 4.5 for me, man. That is nice and flat. Okay,
that's definitely a 4 for me. What do you reckon, next,
pie or lamingtons? I feel like the lamingtons are similar
in this fun. Should we go with pie?

Speaker 2 (55:14):
Yeah, go with them as pie.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
You know what, I don't think the pie's going to
do much for us.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
I reckon suck it and then smash it.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
I reckon it'll go squishy.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:21):
Suck it and smash it. Okay, now we're just going to.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Take, we're going to vacuum pack now, another Kiwi classic,
engaging vac.

Speaker 3 (55:32):
And how would you describe that, Hayley?

Speaker 2 (55:34):
Um, I think if you.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
Keeping its shape.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
Yeah, it's keeping its shape. Really solid instruction from Big
Ben's there.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
You know what I actually think the problem is?

Speaker 2 (55:44):
All right, we've had a glimpse.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
You know when you stuff a duvet in, the duvet,
I feel like the plastic bag is sticking to the
other side of the valve because we've got nothing in
between the two sheets of plastic.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
That's why I told you you've got to angle so
that the valve's on a 45-degree angle.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
It sucks out, though, as soon as you... Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
I tried to get.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
We're just going to move the pie closer to the
valve to see if that.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
changes anything there.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Someone said surely we'll be submitting this to the New
Zealand Radio Awards.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
Surely. I would imagine so. I would absolutely imagine so.
A very visual thing here on the radio.

Speaker 3 (56:21):
Sucking the cheese out of the pie.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
Oh, yuck! The cheese has been sucked out of the
mince and cheese.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
And is it going flat? It's not really, is it?
It's keeping its shape well.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
I think if you just give that a fist, Vaughan, Yeah,
give that a smack with the first. Let's see how
flat we can.

Speaker 3 (56:39):
Get the big beans. I've squirted the pie out the side.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
Okay, the mince has exploded out the side.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
I've got a little bit of mince in the vacuum there.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
That's okay.

Speaker 3 (56:44):
That's what the couch is for.

Speaker 2 (56:45):
Wet and dry.

Speaker 3 (56:46):
I'm going to say this is a two. This is
a two for me. Yeah, that's not, nah. No, that's
a two. That was disappointing.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
A lot of the sponge. Okay, we've got three more
left if you're keeping count. Okay.

Speaker 3 (56:57):
Stay tuned.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Radio Awards, here we come. Lamingtons, lamingtons. All right, lamingtons.

Speaker 3 (57:02):
Okay, lamingtons.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Now, for me, the lamingtons are going to go, I'm
excited about these. I reckon they're going to go very flat. Yeah,
then I should put a lamington by the valve, maybe
surround the valve with lamingtons.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
Yes, I think so. Yeah, circle the valve with a lamington.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
Circle the valve. Yeah, that's it, that's it.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
Okay, we're loose.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
Okay. I tried to get a small.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
We'll engage back there. As small of bags as possible. Okay,
engaging back.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
Okay, engaging back. Okay. Non-spawn.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
Engage Karcher.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, here we go.

Speaker 3 (57:30):
Yeah, wow, look at that. They've really shrunk, haven't they,
the lamingtons?

Speaker 2 (57:35):
I'd say they've gone to small bricks.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
It's still getting smaller. Yeah, it's good stuff.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
That's the stuff you always think you're done and then
there's a little bit.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
More room in there.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
I'd say that's... That's good.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
That's a four. That might be a four. That's a
four for me. They halved in size. They look like
shriveled up, shrunken lamingtons. Now, we need to reuse one
of these bags, don't we? For an egg. If we
put it on the egg, maybe the egg.
Sponge log. Okay, sponge log. Sponge log.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
Similar to a lamington, obviously, lamingtons are sponges. There's cream
in this. It's a plain vanilla sponge log.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
I just want to pause. I've actually taken the loaf
of bread out of the bag to see it out
of its seal. Can you get a bit of audio
on that? That's a solid mass. It really is. We're
going to have to sort of, I think we could
gut this and put cheese in it.

Speaker 3 (58:34):
It hasn't bounced back then. Engaging vac.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Engaging vac.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
I told you it was going to bounce back. Christine
used to get furious with me if I manhandled the bread.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
So this is the impetus behind it all.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
The sweet sponge with cream and jam.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
That we've waited for.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
We wondered if it would go flat or if it
would go kind of noodle-like.

Speaker 3 (58:54):
And it's kind of, it's kind of, it's gone into it.
It's kept its shape. It's just shrinking. It's retained its shape.
You would say.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
Almost like we need a more powerful device.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
Well, you're not going to get more powerful than the Karcher.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
Non-spawn, by the way. That's his personal Karcher.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
Non-spawn. from Karcher.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
They do do a great wetback, though. I think it
might be quality of bag.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone just said, can we bring
back Chess Week?

Speaker 3 (59:19):
I don't know what they mean by that.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
We've got one more. Here's the end.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
The sponge has gone quite hard.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
Quite condensed.

Speaker 3 (59:27):
Yes, it's going to be solid.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
But it did keep its shape, which was the original
question when we first raised vacuum packing foods.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
That's right. That's what started us all. Okay, the last
item is an egg. It's not going to crack the egg.
I don't think it's going to break the egg. I
don't think it's going to crack the egg at all.
It's waiting for the egg to break. I don't think
there's going to be a break with broken egg this morning.
So I'm just sealing it up, making it nice and tight.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Here we go.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
Oh, careful.

Speaker 5 (59:51):
Engaging that.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Here we go.

Speaker 3 (59:53):
Final step, sealing the, vacuum sealing the egg.

Speaker 2 (59:57):
Is it powerful enough to crack the egg?

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
It's kept its shape. It hasn't broken.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
If you crack it, will.

Speaker 3 (01:00:04):
It just go up the carter? I don't know. There's
only one way to find out.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
It's not breaking. Oh, yeah, the egg is being sucked
through the hole.

Speaker 3 (01:00:15):
And... Oh, I can feel it going up the karcher.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
It's in the karcher.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
I don't actually have it set up. It's set up
for a dry bag at the moment. This is ruining
my karcher.

Speaker 4 (01:00:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Someone said, guys, I've just tuned in.

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
What's going on? We are vacuum packing foods. We are
vacuum packing foods. Oh, there's a yoke all over the valve.
All right, kill the bag. Okay. Well, our winner today,
what would you say in a satisfaction score?

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
Miles ahead with a 4.5 out of 5 is the Pavlova.
Went from 10 centimetres tall to a centimetre tall.

Speaker 5 (01:00:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
That's absolutely brilliant.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
Fabulous vacuum pack.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
I reckon you could hang the broken egg in some
sort of art thing and just be like, you know,
it's a reflection of society sucking the life.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Out of you.

Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
Represents war.

Speaker 6 (01:00:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
War and famine.

Speaker 4 (01:00:56):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
And it's gooing yolk out the hole.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:00:59):
Well, the Pavlova winning our vacuum-packed foods segment today, and
we'll have a video up later today.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
Thrilling stuff, actually. Was it as thrilling as you expected
it to be, visually? No, not at all. Horrendous letdown, actually.
Horrendous letdown. It was, yeah. I'd say we probably could
have done this in our own time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
We've wasted everybody's time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
We've wasted everybody. Company's money.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
We've had fun, though, haven't we? That cost $ 35, that bit.
Right now it's time for... Fact of the Day.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Fact of the Day.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Is brought to you by St. Pierre's.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
Fact, today's sushi of the day is eight pieces of
salmon supreme for $ 8.

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
40. Wow, he remembered. Unprompted. I remembered because about 30
seconds before we were in an air car and said, Vaughan,
and I spun around and she did this like, I'm
looking at you. She said, St. Pierre's lighter, don't forget it.
So I didn't because it was only 30 seconds.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
And look how seamless we made it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
Yeah, and didn't sort of like bodge it up afterwards
by saying I was just reminded to do it. On
June the 8th, 2016, a monkey climbed onto the roof
of the Gitaru Power Station in Kenya. This was East
Africa's largest hydropower plant and fell into an electrical transformer.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
What?

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
A monkey?

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
A monkey.

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
What is an electrical transformer? Modern meets the eye.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
Optimus Prime. It is an electrical transformer.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
Dead.

Speaker 3 (01:02:34):
Dead.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
R.I.P.

Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
We lost Optimus Prime last week. Last week was a
bad week for losing people in their 80s.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
Really bad.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
So that tripped safety systems and other generators overloaded and
cut out too. And Kenya lost power in a nationwide blackout.
The monkey survived.

Speaker 5 (01:02:52):
What?

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
When the people went to investigate what caused this massive
power outage at the Gitaru power station, the monkey was
still in there, shocked but not dead, and like freaking
out and like, how am I going to get out
of here? So they handed it over to the Kenyan
Wildlife Service.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
Love their monkeys.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
They love their monkeys. So the entire nation, today's fact
of the day, we're going to be a quick one
because we wasted so much time, company money, energy and everything. Yeah, totally.
We don't have to hurry it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
Where is the monkey?

Speaker 3 (01:03:22):
The monkey was handed over to Kenyan Wildlife Service and
re-released into the wild.

Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
Did he go back to his tribe and be like, guys,
you're not going to believe what happened.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
And they were like, hold on, Kevin, the monkey.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
We'll talk to you in a minute. Just the power's
gone out. The Wi-Fi's down. We're wondering what's going on.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Yeah, that was me.

Speaker 3 (01:03:37):
Just hold on, Kevin. We're just trying to sort it out.
That's what I'm talking about. Just Kevin. We're crying out loud.
It's not all about you, Kevin. We're suffering a power outage.
We're trying to charge our phones. Yeah, I was involved
in that. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Well, we'll hear
from you soon. So you probably went back and told
them all about the time you fell into a– and
wiped out 180 megawatts of power. To Kenya. How long

(01:04:01):
did it take to get back? Hours and hours and hours.
And then they got it back? Yep. It was fine.
They got the power back. Yeah, they reset all the
transformers and stuff. And they have since closed that bit
over so that, you know, fool them once, monkey in
the power, transformer. Fool them twice. probably unforgivable the second time.
You're not going to get a cheesecake. Exactly, as the
old saying goes. So today's fact of the day, in 2016,

(01:04:22):
a monkey fooling around, as monkeys are wont to do,
caused a nationwide power outage in Kenya.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
Fact of the day, day.

Speaker 3 (01:04:34):
Day, day, day.

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. We want to know right.

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
Now, give us a call 0800 dial ZM or give
a text 9696. When did you.

Speaker 7 (01:04:46):
Nearly miss out?

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
On your partner, the one. Because Gemma McCaw was being
interviewed on Between Two Bears, our lovely friends, and she's
a former Blackstick member, if you don't know that, but
she is with Richie McCaw, former All Black. But she
said she received a message from Richie.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
A DM.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Yeah. She said from a guy called Richie McCaw. He said, hi, Gemma,
really nice to meet you in Hamilton, full stop, and
then said good luck for the Olympics, full stop.

Speaker 3 (01:05:23):
Wow, he's poetry. That guy's Shakespeare, isn't he?

Speaker 4 (01:05:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:27):
Nice to meet you. Good luck.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
Now, despite these super, yeah, smooth, suave pickup lines, the
All Black captain didn't have any luck.

Speaker 3 (01:05:35):
She said, I just forgot to reply. Left him on
scene twice.

Speaker 2 (01:05:38):
Wow. Because she was full focus, man.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
Olympic. She's like, Well, that's what made her an amazing
blackstick is that she was focused fully on the task
at hand.

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
She said literally not having a partner and being able
to give everything at that time was really important.

Speaker 3 (01:05:53):
So she was like, no, no, no, no. Left him
on scene twice.

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
Almost missed the boat. And if he hadn't have pushed
for a third time being like, you know, what do
you think? Then they wouldn't have had a beautiful marriage
and kids and the beautiful future that they have.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
These stories are crazy because they happen all the time.
These people that are like, they find their one.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
And they nearly let it go.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
Yeah. Or you're like, oh my, you know, I nearly
left the country or nearly missed my flight. And, you know,
if it hadn't have been for this thing, we would
have never met.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
If she hadn't replied after the third time, we never
would have had the good health tumour complex ad that
they did together in 2018. And what it.
What an ad it was. I need to be taking
more turmeric.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
Anti-inflammatory.

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Incredible. We've a message to get us started if we
want to start things off.

Speaker 3 (01:06:44):
Yeah, let's get the ball rolling with some cute, what
do they call it? Serendipitous meat cutes.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
We want to know when did you nearly miss out
on your partner? I was in the early stages of
dating someone else who I was not into and met
my now husband at a house party. I sat next
to him and we chatted and I thought he was
so cool. I broke things off of the situation ship
and added my husband on Facebook, messaged him, nearly missed
it because I was with someone else, but here we are,
years later.

Speaker 3 (01:07:10):
Amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Cute.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
I met my now hubby pissed at the cob in
Palmy and the next morning he messaged me and I thought,
you're too keen, bro, calm down.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
But then his keenness, his perseverance.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
The cob. And then he's checking in. See how she was?
She was a bit rough at the cob the night before.
She's like, calm down, mate. Bloody hell, give us some
room to breathe.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
Oh, these are going to be cute messages, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
Okay, well, give us a call. 0800-DANCE-AT-EMISON-NUMBER. Text right through
to the studio 9696.

Speaker 2 (01:07:39):
When did you nearly miss out?

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
Well, we're getting so many messages and calls about these
serendipitous little moments.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
Amy, how did you nearly miss your one?

Speaker 4 (01:07:49):
My best friend was living in London, and it was 2004,
and they had the old family clunky PC in the
living room that everyone shared.

Speaker 3 (01:07:58):
And someone had logged in.

Speaker 4 (01:08:00):
I thought it was her because they had automatic sign-in
back then. And I was like, hey, girl. And he
was like, no, it's her cousin. I've just broken up
with my girlfriend. I'm flying back to Wellington today. I
was like, oh. At the time, I had a boyfriend,
but I was like, oh, don't be a stranger.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Here's my number.

Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
And.

Speaker 4 (01:08:17):
Yeah, three weeks later, he came down. Sorry, he got
a cell phone because back then you had to kind
of save up to get it. And he texted me,
and this October we're celebrating 22 years together.

Speaker 2 (01:08:26):
Wait, wait, so you just didn't even know that you
were logged in?

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
Like, you just went in?

Speaker 4 (01:08:32):
He didn't, sorry, because he had logged in under her
family computer at her house.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
Oh, yeah, you copy. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 (01:08:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
We had met in passing, but like, yeah, I mean,
I had to get rid of the boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
I was going to say, so the boyfriend was kind
of like, we're getting a lot of these messages if
they were with someone and they knew they weren't the
right person. So when the right person presented themselves, the
other situation got the flick.

Speaker 3 (01:08:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bit of an overhang there, an overlap.
A bit of an overlap. Monkey barring.

Speaker 4 (01:08:57):
Monkey barring, exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
Monkey barring.

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
Well, sometimes you've got to have a good grip on
the next bar before you've got to let go of
the one you're already on. I get it, man.

Speaker 3 (01:09:06):
Thank you very much, Amy. How's this one?

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
It's actually crazy how we met. I was just about
to delete the dating app because I was leaving Auckland.
Then I got a message from her literally as I
was like, I'm probably going to delete this dating app
because there's no point having it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:17):
If I'm not going to be in Auckland, I get
a message. We decided to catch up, not knowing where
it would lead, and I ended up leaving Auckland. So
we started dating long distance for a while. It definitely
wasn't easy, but we both wanted to see where things
would go. Somehow it's worked out. We live together now
in Papamoa.

Speaker 6 (01:09:29):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:09:30):
We recently got engaged in Spain and sometimes I think
about how easily it could have never happened if I
deleted the app when I first thought about it rather
than staying on and getting her message.

Speaker 2 (01:09:38):
One little hold down for longer.

Speaker 3 (01:09:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
Someone said I nearly missed the one because I thought
I was a lesbian this whole time until he came along.
Wasn't even looking at me. I'm a lesbian.

Speaker 3 (01:09:50):
A man comes along.

Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:09:52):
And presented himself. Someone just messaged in the studio, I
actually like the show better when we're all of the opinion.
Love is dead. Oh, you're sorry about that. I'm sorry. Look,
2025 was the year of love's death.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
There has since been a resurrection.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
And then we had people messaging us saying, don't be
so miserable. And now we're happy.

Speaker 3 (01:10:12):
You're like, be more miserable. You can't win. Fletch believes
love is dead.

Speaker 2 (01:10:18):
We're balanced.

Speaker 3 (01:10:19):
No, he believes love is fleeting.

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:10:22):
Sort of like one short afternoon hookup. 15 minutes. An hour,
30 minutes sometimes.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
Yeah, 30 minutes if you're lucky. And then why are
you still here?

Speaker 3 (01:10:31):
It's 4 o'clock, that means dinner. I've actually got stuff
to do.

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:10:34):
Depending on how long they've paid for parking.

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
You know.

Speaker 6 (01:10:37):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
You don't want to get a ticket.

Speaker 1 (01:10:38):
You know, the rates are quite expensive. Yeah, they start
setting up.

Speaker 2 (01:10:42):
Some of these are amazing messages. We want to know
right now, when did you nearly miss out on your partner?
This message, So I clicked on him. Rest his history,
nine years of marriage today.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
Wow. Love is alive, guys. Love is alive.

Speaker 2 (01:11:06):
Happy anniversary.

Speaker 3 (01:11:07):
My friend met a guy and they said, you're really
like my friend. So the guy texted me and I
told my friend off for giving my number to strangers
and I ghosted him. I was single for eight years
and I did not want men in my life. Then
some other friends met him when roading motorbikes. And they said,
you give this guy a chance. Riding motorbikes. Did I
say roading motorbikes? Yeah, you did. I got my tenses
all confused there. Road, of course, the past tense of ride.

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
I would have said roading as well because it was road.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
On the road. The motorcycle was road. Yeah, my best
friends met him while riding motorcycles. They said, give this
guy a chance. He was actually really nice. I texted
him and said, do you want to go for a wine?
Had my friend ready to call for an emergency in
case the first date was horrible. Went on the date
at 11 a.m. 11 a.m. wines. Red flag there from her.

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
Yeah, crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:11:52):
That's crazy. He left 6 p.m. We're getting married next month. Amazing.
But you could have had nine other years with him.

Speaker 2 (01:12:01):
Yeah, you could have.

Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
No, I think she meant she'd already been single eight years. Oh, right.
When he popped up and thought that was her life,
that was the hand that she'd been playing. Went to
my local EB Games to meet with my friend who
was finally going to ask out. One of the workers
who I also got on with really well was there.
Is EB Games where you used to go for a hookup?

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
Yeah, man. Well, the friend was there, so I guess
by visiting the friend who you have a crush on,
you're also seeing this other person.

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
Well, they were going to meet them there and trade
in secondhand games, get another one. And he jokingly, the
guy who worked at EB Games that I got on
with really well, jokingly said, you never give me a
hug like you give your crush a hug. So I
gave him a hug, and the minute I hugged him,
it felt like I was home. We've been together 13
years now. Oh, with my forever nerd. Sounds really like
he was... Sounds like he was pressing up something there.

(01:12:50):
Do you reckon he was giving her a hard press? Oh,
I reckon he was just.

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
The only one at EB Games wearing deodorant.

Speaker 3 (01:12:55):
And she's like, this is what I'm... She's like, is
this what they're supposed to smell like? That was mean.

Speaker 2 (01:12:58):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:13:00):
I wonder if they were sad when EB Games shut down.

Speaker 2 (01:13:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:03):
It's kind of like where they met, right?

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
Yeah, so many people message, like just having, you know,
when you've got a few on the burner and just
having someone on the back burner messaging on Tinder and
kind of like pursuing other people and then being like, yuck,
and going, I wonder if that guy's still floating around
on here. And they're like, married, babies, everything.

Speaker 3 (01:13:21):
It's cute.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
Don't delete the app.

Speaker 1 (01:13:23):
First date with my now wife almost ruined it for me.

Speaker 3 (01:13:25):
I wore fingerless gloves.

Speaker 1 (01:13:27):
Oh, what are you about to rob her? And I
talked about shopping for shoes with my mum.

Speaker 3 (01:13:33):
Which apparently gave her the impression that I was a homosexual. Yeah.
She goes to me for two weeks before my persistence
won me a second date.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
Excuse me, Vaughan, I've never seen, I know a few homosexuals,
I've never seen any with fingerless gloves.

Speaker 2 (01:13:44):
9696, are you gay and do you wear fingerless gloves?
We'll just do a quick, quickie little poll here.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
I mean, they are good to touch the screen with,
but you can get gloves now with a tech, with
a tech fabric.

Speaker 2 (01:13:53):
A tech pad, yeah, tech pads on a tech pad.

Speaker 3 (01:13:55):
No, I think tech pads on the fingertips is more
gay than a fingerless glove.

Speaker 2 (01:14:00):
Tech pads are gayer than gloves.

Speaker 1 (01:14:01):
I think tech pads are gayer than a half-fingered glove.

Speaker 3 (01:14:04):
Well, no, you don't have to take off your glove
to push your phone. I've actually seen gloves even that
are gloves and then you peel back. I guess you
would call it sort of a glove foreskin. Travis said
he's heavily gay and fingerless gloved, so. Really? So maybe
that is true. Is the fingerless glove the new earring
in the right ear? Glory hole.

Speaker 2 (01:14:23):
In the gay ear.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's fingerless gloves in your glory hole.
You've taken a leap there. That's too big of a leap.

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
I'd like to take my gloves off while engaging in this.

Speaker 3 (01:14:33):
Yay. So anyway, I got a second date, convinced her
I wasn't gay. Two kids and a happy marriage. Definitely
not gay. Well, that's the way to convince them. I mean,
you keep saying it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:43):
Who are you trying to convince?

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
Definitely not gay. Better for the strip pole, Travis says.
You get a good grip on.

Speaker 3 (01:14:51):
It, he said.

Speaker 4 (01:14:52):
Really?

Speaker 3 (01:14:53):
I just warm up the pole so there was no
need for gloves on the strip.

Speaker 6 (01:14:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:14:56):
Unless he's talking leather fingerless gloves. Well, that's gay.

Speaker 1 (01:15:00):
He could be using a street sign pole too. We
don't know if he's actually got one in his house
or he's using a public one.

Speaker 3 (01:15:05):
Yeah. You can't get a tick finger on possum merino.
Do they mean dick finger? A tech tip. A tech finger.
A tech finger.

Speaker 5 (01:15:15):
Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
Yes, you can. You just cut out a small hole
in the possum and stitch around the tech pad.

Speaker 3 (01:15:20):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:15:20):
You can get it on anything.

Speaker 3 (01:15:21):
Yeah. I'd been dating bad boys and I got it
with my now husband because I'd been dating these bad
boys and he was really nice. He asked if he
could kiss me before he did. My friend told me
I was being stupid and luckily made me invite him
around for board games night. Once his competitive side came
out and he was a bit of a dick, I
fell in love with him.

Speaker 2 (01:15:39):
Oh, cute.

Speaker 7 (01:15:41):

Speaker 2 (01:15:47):
As someone who, I love me a bit of therapy,
I'm back in therapy with the lovely Virginia. And God,
they give great advice, a great way to see things
from a different perspective, maybe decatastrophise things in your head
a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:16:01):
Decatastrophise? You once famously clocked therapy.

Speaker 2 (01:16:05):
In one sesh.

Speaker 3 (01:16:07):
So I thought, but then it turns out there was
a DLC, downloadable content, where sort of a patch update
from the studio that developed my life. And the patch
update meant there probably needed to be some more. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:16:21):
Didn't clock it really the second round.

Speaker 3 (01:16:23):
Took the time, but then couldn't afford the micro package
to buy within game. Yeah. So I had to pause it.
I'll go back to it at some stage. I had
to pause it.

Speaker 1 (01:16:30):
So your character's just in a windowless, doorless room, basically.

Speaker 3 (01:16:34):
Just waiting to be played. You'd be like, got him,
dug him.

Speaker 2 (01:16:35):
We've taken all the doors off.

Speaker 3 (01:16:38):
You're stuck in there. Somehow I'm on fire.

Speaker 2 (01:16:40):
You're on fire and there's no.

Speaker 3 (01:16:42):
Ladder in the pool.

Speaker 2 (01:16:43):
Well, this was amazing. This was a journalist got 13
therapists together and asked them, what is it that you
want to just say to your client but you feel
like you can't? You know what I mean? Because they
kind of have to A lot of the time, I mean, 9696, Texan,
if you're a therapist as well, if you agree or
there's something that you want to just say to clients,
because they do have to try to get you to
find things yourself, you know, so that's your discovery.

Speaker 3 (01:17:06):
Some of these are really interesting. Okay, I can't wait
to hear these. Do you want to know the most
common or save that for last? Save that for last. Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:17:15):
Here's one I like that I've seen in people I know.
Seems like you're just here to complain and not actually
make a change.

Speaker 4 (01:17:23):
Out.

Speaker 2 (01:17:23):
Wow, right?

Speaker 3 (01:17:25):
But they would never say that to you.

Speaker 2 (01:17:27):
No, because you're going like, this is for people I
guess that would be like, well, I'm in therapy. You
want me to go to therapy? I'm in therapy, right?
But you just want to go there, moan, have them
say to you, yeah, you're right. That's actually a bit
of a them problem or like you're not really the
problem or yeah, that's right and just talk it out
and not then do the mahi to change. So if you,

(01:17:48):
they say if you want to vent, get a diary.

Speaker 3 (01:17:49):
They're cheap. I think you can say dairy because then
you could have lollies.

Speaker 2 (01:17:57):
No, that's a business. That would be too expensive.

Speaker 1 (01:17:58):
Sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:17:59):
No, because your customers would come in and you'd be like, oh,
thank God you're here, Kevin. Oh, boy, do I have
so much.

Speaker 2 (01:18:03):
He's like, ah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:05):
He's just like, I just need some ciggies and some milk, mate.
If you want to get a diary, if you want
to do some work, get a therapist. Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
I'm not going to, can't say them all. I wish
you could see yourself the way I see you. Therapists
routinely watch intelligent, kind, capable people just sit on a
couch and tear themselves down. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:25):
I'm this, I'm this, I'm not good at this, you know,
I'm terrible at this.

Speaker 2 (01:18:30):
And a lot of therapists saying they wish they could
just almost give them a shake and be like, shut up,
you're great, you know, but they've got to kind of
work it out and get to the bottom of why
they're saying that. Here's one I literally got told by
my therapist last week. You know what to do, you're
just not doing it. So when I was saying to
my therapist... I.

Speaker 3 (01:18:48):
Thought this was the list of things that therapists... aren't
supposed to say to you.

Speaker 2 (01:18:51):
No, they wish they could say, but I've got a
nice open relationship with my therapist that when I go
and I sit and they complain about, you know, my
anxiety's been quite bad recently and I'm not feeling 100%
and my mood's sort of up and down and crashing
and she was like, and so you're... watching what you
eat are you exercising regularly are you going for walks
are you writing things down are you doing this are

(01:19:11):
you doing that are you doing nice ways are you
nice things saying nice things to yourself I said no
and she was like okay well are you breathing properly
like because you have actually paid money to learn how
to breathe I said no she was like sort of like.

Speaker 1 (01:19:21):
You know what you should be doing you know what
you need to do sounds like she's had enough of
you doesn't.

Speaker 3 (01:19:25):
It sounds like she wants to see me again doesn't
she oh she did say hi.

Speaker 2 (01:19:29):
My love to Vaughan and I said yeah he can't
afford to see you she's like oh one day This
is an interesting one. The things that therapists wish they
could just say straight to your face, you are playing
the victim. So a lot of people coming in, not
taking accountability and then wanting their therapist to be like, oh,
you know, that sounds horrible. I'll fix that for you.
But you actually, what I'm hearing is you're just being

(01:19:51):
the victim. And it's hard just to say that to
people because they don't want to hear it. Oh, stop
drinking is one of them. That's really like.

Speaker 3 (01:19:58):
Stop drinking.

Speaker 1 (01:19:59):
Water.

Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
No, darling, alcohol. Because people will go in and they'll
say all these problems, all these things and incidents that
arise and all feelings and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:20:07):
I'd have so many more if I did it.

Speaker 2 (01:20:09):
Ups and downs. And then the question will be, how
much are you drinking? And the answer is a lot
to try to solve these.

Speaker 3 (01:20:15):
A text on 9696. I'm actually on my way to
my therapist right now and mine has said so many
of these things to me already.

Speaker 2 (01:20:21):
Well, that's good.

Speaker 3 (01:20:21):
You won this.

Speaker 2 (01:20:22):
You know, this is the most common response when this
journalist asks therapists, what do you wish you could just
outright say?

Speaker 3 (01:20:27):
Like, let's not dance around. Let's not waste this time.

Speaker 2 (01:20:29):
Leave them.

Speaker 3 (01:20:30):
Leave your partner. Leave them, I should say.

Speaker 1 (01:20:32):
I actually know someone that went to couple therapy and
after a couple, the therapist said to them.

Speaker 2 (01:20:36):
Do you know what?

Speaker 3 (01:20:37):
I think you guys are done.

Speaker 5 (01:20:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:20:39):
You've just got to learn how to separate this sort
of thing without, you know, destroying everything on the way out.

Speaker 2 (01:20:44):
You've got to, like, work with them, I guess, to
find that decision themselves. But a lot of the time
they can see it coming. They know it's happening. If
you could just say, this isn't going to work like that,
just leave them.

Speaker 7 (01:20:57):
We'll just have a lot of money.

Speaker 3 (01:21:04):
I've been reading an online article about a woman who
has written into sort of an agony aunt situation. Oh, yes.
And she said that her and her partner have been
together for a while. Previous to this, she's never been
in a mahogany relationship, which is a rich, strong wood relationship.
Beautiful word, but no, it's wrong use of the word there. Right,
monogamous relationship. So she said for a little while he

(01:21:25):
wasn't like into it, but I kept saying he was
open to it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:28):
Being non-monogamous.

Speaker 3 (01:21:29):
Being non-monogamous. And anyway, agreed to go on an adult cruise. Ooh.
Where things happen on the cruise ship. With other couples
on the cruise. Other couples, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:21:41):
Okay. Emphasis on cruise.

Speaker 3 (01:21:43):
Cost them a lot of money. He initially saw it
and said it was like, you know, a good way
of dipping the toe into this world that he hadn't
dipped a toe into. And so they went on the cruise.
The minute they got on the cruise, he was just like, no.
And got real jealous when guys looked at him. Got
jealous when she was looking at other people. Hated it,
hated it, hated it. But of course, when you're on
a cruise... You can't get off the cruise, can you?

Speaker 2 (01:22:05):
Everyone thinks a threesome's a fun idea until you're there
and you're the one on the third.

Speaker 3 (01:22:09):
You realise you're number three and you're like, no. Yeah,
you're the third wheel on the bike.

Speaker 2 (01:22:13):
This is so fun, eh, guys? This is so fun.

Speaker 1 (01:22:17):
Who did we know that wanted an open relationship and
then it was their idea, they pushed for it, and
then she got all the attention and.

Speaker 3 (01:22:24):
He got none? It's always guys that want to try
it and then they realise that, They were the minger
in the relationship because they're not having any luck with
their partners just getting inundated with attention.

Speaker 2 (01:22:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:22:35):
Yeah. And then pretty quickly want to close that relationship
right back up again.

Speaker 5 (01:22:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:22:39):
But I think also, like, I mean, this is a
pretty like major, not major, but like a very bold way.
And of course, jealousy would be part of it. But
people get jealous over lack. The smallest of things.

Speaker 3 (01:22:50):
That's what we want to know this morning.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
What made them jealous?

Speaker 3 (01:22:53):
What made them jealous? What little thing or something you
did made them jealous?

Speaker 1 (01:22:58):
Yeah. Like even you just out with your partner and
the barista looks at your partner funny.

Speaker 3 (01:23:02):
Or like in a cute way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Okay, fine.
Why don't you just go marry the barista? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:23:07):
Like I get a bit jealous of my boyfriend because
my cat will never sit on my lap if he's
at my house.

Speaker 3 (01:23:13):
Right, so that makes you jealous.

Speaker 2 (01:23:14):
Yeah, and I'm just like, man, who saved your life? No,
this bastard, he's new. He's just flopped up here and
now you're all happy and everything. And I've raised you
from a wee one. I get a bit jealous of that.

Speaker 3 (01:23:27):
That's your jealousy.

Speaker 1 (01:23:28):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (01:23:29):
Don't get jealous really about relationship stuff. No, I was
going to say everything else you're kind of like all
good about, but it's just that.

Speaker 2 (01:23:35):
Sometimes I'll see a woman walking by and her hair
will blow in the wind and I'll see that her
hair is real. It's her hair. And I'll be like, man.

Speaker 3 (01:23:42):
Jealous. Jealous. Jealous as. What made them jealous? That's what
we're talking about right now.

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
A guy in a relationship with a woman who said
she'd never been in a monogamous relationship before. Said, no,
I'm cool with that. And then a few months in,
they booked on a cruise, an adult-only cruise. Just read
between the lines. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:24:04):
Packed a sad, got jealous and didn't want her doing
anything or going anywhere or seeing anybody. So we want
to know what made you, what made them jealous. Um,
so we asked this on Instagram when a female coworker said,
I love blueberries too. After my mentioned my favorite fruit
and my ex got jealous. I also love blueberries. How
does that make you feel?

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
Bitch.

Speaker 3 (01:24:27):
Guess what? He's people love blueberries. That's why blueberries are
so popular.

Speaker 2 (01:24:30):
Yeah, that's literally one of the most delicious fruits. It's
not like quirky and cool. Anonymous, please.

Speaker 3 (01:24:36):
I left my adult fun toy on the vanity and
my husband got really jealous as if I was cheating.

Speaker 2 (01:24:41):
Oh, I hate that.

Speaker 3 (01:24:43):
That would be the biggest red flag. I'm sorry. Yeah,
but it might have been one of those whopper ones,
you know? Yeah. Yeah, you know?

Speaker 6 (01:24:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:24:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:24:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:24:52):
With the plug into the mains, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:24:54):
But if you're doing enough of what you've got, like
there doesn't need to be jealous. I'm about the same.

Speaker 3 (01:25:00):
I was going to work, going to a work meal
at a pizza place. So to show me he ate
two large Domino's pizzas. So he's jealous that I was
getting to go out for pizza. So you get pizza?

Speaker 2 (01:25:11):
Yeah, I'll eat two with myself.

Speaker 3 (01:25:14):
Stay-at-home mum here, I get jealous when my partner gets
good food at his work birthdays and I don't get
to go.

Speaker 2 (01:25:18):
Oh, yeah. But you get the joy of raising two. Three, four, five.

Speaker 3 (01:25:25):
I mean, why?

Speaker 1 (01:25:26):
Yeah, lovely.

Speaker 3 (01:25:29):
Um, my ex got jealous when he found condoms in
my drawer. I had purchased them for us to use.
So I don't know why it was weird. Okay. Jealous
of the condoms. Um, some messages on nine, six, nine, six. Um,
my ex is very jealous of the relationship I had
with my brothers. Especially after we lost our mum, we
got really close. Safe to say that that relationship ended
very quickly after one of my brothers had an accident

(01:25:50):
and the ex had a tantrum that I was going
to pick him up from the hospital.

Speaker 2 (01:25:54):
This segment needs a rebrand of just like, red flags,
red flags.

Speaker 3 (01:25:59):
Yeah, that's like, get rid of him. They have, by
the way. Yeah, gone.

Speaker 2 (01:26:03):
So because you were bonding as a family over a
traumatic event, they just didn't get enough attention.

Speaker 1 (01:26:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:26:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:26:09):
See, I'd be like that, I imagine, if.

Speaker 2 (01:26:12):
Not on that scenario.

Speaker 3 (01:26:14):
Guys, it's just me who would totally be like that.

Speaker 1 (01:26:17):
Imagine if your new boyfriend got jealous every time you
kissed your dad and brother on the mouth.

Speaker 2 (01:26:22):
Listen, if you've just joined the show, I do kiss
my family on the mouth. All three members of the...
And we call each other babe. And Fleet finds it weird.

Speaker 3 (01:26:31):
It's very weird. It's extremely weird.

Speaker 2 (01:26:33):
I don't know if Mike's clocked the mouth kisses. He
hasn't really been around a lot, you know, to see that.
Does he come from.

Speaker 3 (01:26:43):
A mouth kiss family? Mouth kiss understands mouth kiss. Yeah,
maybe he does and it's just not abnormal to him.
Mouth kiss begets mouth kiss. 9-6-9-6 as well. You want support.

Speaker 2 (01:26:53):
My ex used to get jealous if I liked a
song with female voices.

Speaker 5 (01:26:58):
What? What?

Speaker 2 (01:26:59):
She is.

Speaker 3 (01:27:00):
That's nuts.

Speaker 2 (01:27:01):
That's crazy, man. Women, eh? Women be crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:27:05):
What about a feminine-sounding male voice in a song? Would
she get a little bit jealous of that? Sort of
your more feminine voice? Like if a jockey had a
number one hat. No, I was thinking just a more
feminine male voice.

Speaker 1 (01:27:16):
Oh, right. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:27:17):
Like Adam Lambert. Powerful, but there's a feminine aspect to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can I just get a follow-up there, 101? Adam Lambert,
did that make you jealous? Powerful, but, you know, a
little bit of a feminine touch to it. We got
a lot of.

Speaker 2 (01:27:30):
Messages in, but it's just really problematic dudes who are
just getting jealous when they've got, like, male friends and stuff,
which to me is so pathetic.

Speaker 3 (01:27:38):
Yeah. Somebody said that they got jealous because all my
friends are guys. I've got, like, two or three female friends.
I had this conversation with them prior to us having
a relationship. I said, some if not all of my
mates are guys, and you should know that because you're
one of them. And you've kind of stepped up to
the next level and you've always just got super jealous
and wanted them out of my life.

Speaker 2 (01:27:55):
If there's one thing I know, you can have a
platonic relationship with a man and not be sleeping with them.

Speaker 3 (01:28:02):
This is one thing I know. Well, I did not
know what I read on Reddit.

Speaker 2 (01:28:05):
Have you been on Reddit?

Speaker 5 (01:28:06):
Have you?

Speaker 3 (01:28:06):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:28:08):
You've been reading Reddit?

Speaker 3 (01:28:08):
It's not the gospel. Nick just texted, I'm sorry, but
kissing your brother in the mouth is crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:28:12):
I'm not hooking up with him. It's just like actors....

Speaker 1 (01:28:18):
Do it.

Speaker 3 (01:28:19):
Creatives do it.

Speaker 2 (01:28:21):
No tongue.

Speaker 3 (01:28:21):
No tongue.

Speaker 2 (01:28:22):
For God's sake, we shouldn't even have to say that.

Speaker 3 (01:28:24):
Even a peck. Even a peck.

Speaker 2 (01:28:26):
Just a family kiss.

Speaker 3 (01:28:28):
Just a hug. Just do a hug like normal people.
Just do a hug. Don't linger on the hug. We're
not lingering anywhere. Why are you lingering? Why are you
lingering on the mouthpiece and the hug? You have made
this weirder than it is.

Speaker 7 (01:28:41):

Speaker 2 (01:28:46):
Now, apparently we're in a kind of recession, and I
don't mean a financial one. They're calling this the Great
Pillow Talk Recession. It is a sign of our times
that after a bit of oh, that was nice at
all fun times. We are not doing pillow talk. I
wish Morgan was here because she, you know, she's a

(01:29:07):
big fan of afterwards remaining connected and having a little chat.
We don't need to break down what just happened because
sometimes in the light of day. I can't believe I
said that.

Speaker 3 (01:29:17):
I know, yeah, we've talked about that. Who was that?

Speaker 1 (01:29:19):
That post-coital clarity where you were like, just for the record,
that's not what I stand by. Those aren't my political leanings.
I am a feminist. Yeah, I am.

Speaker 3 (01:29:26):
Were you doing that act role play again? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,
pretend you want to see your public service stripped to
a minimum and, you know, blame everybody but the problem.

Speaker 2 (01:29:40):
Yeah, eat the rich. Oh, you bet.

Speaker 3 (01:29:42):
Billionaires are going to save us all.

Speaker 2 (01:29:44):
It's weird. And then afterwards you're like, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:29:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:29:48):
But just connecting afterwards, like having a little chat. There
are numerous studies on my desk actually at the moment,
one of which is weirdly from a nicotine pouch brand.
So just flagging that this is a company, not an
academic place. But 29% of Brits that they surveyed said
that they regularly do pillow talk after sex.

Speaker 3 (01:30:07):
Everyone else is saying like basically never. We're done.

Speaker 2 (01:30:12):
And we're not really chatting. And then a huge majority
of people asked are wishing there was more emotional intimacy
after doing the act.

Speaker 3 (01:30:22):
So they all want it, but they're not doing anything
about it.

Speaker 2 (01:30:24):
And do you know what we're doing? You can guess.

Speaker 3 (01:30:27):
Washing up. Going to sleep.

Speaker 5 (01:30:28):
Going wheeze.

Speaker 3 (01:30:28):
Having a shower. TikTok. Always go wheeze.

Speaker 2 (01:30:32):
We're picking up our fight. You should wheeze.

Speaker 3 (01:30:34):
But then we're picking up our phones.

Speaker 1 (01:30:35):
No.

Speaker 6 (01:30:35):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:30:36):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:30:37):
Now, we touched on this ages ago, but one in
five people admitted to checking their phones, not only after, during.

Speaker 4 (01:30:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:30:43):
Yeah, that's not good.

Speaker 2 (01:30:44):
Someone's texting in a little look like that.

Speaker 3 (01:30:46):
71% of people. The security cam's gone off. Someone's coming
down the driveway. You know, you've got to check. Oh, yeah.
I don't want them interrupting. Who could it be?

Speaker 4 (01:30:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:30:55):
54% of people, this is from a different survey, said
that they'd rather be on their phone than spend time
with their partner. Yeah. That's sad.

Speaker 3 (01:31:03):
Yeah, pretty bad.

Speaker 2 (01:31:05):
Gen Z, they're the least chatty post-coitus. Only 20%, 32%
of younger millennials, such as ourselves, and then it gets
kind of, you know, as expected. I guess older people
are not reaching for their phones so immediately. And therapists
and sex therapists and relationship therapists are saying this is bad.
This is bad news. I know Morgan would say the same, right?

(01:31:28):
You've got to, like, if your nose is immediately in
the phone.

Speaker 3 (01:31:32):
You've got to have that connection.

Speaker 2 (01:31:34):
You've got to have that connection. A little hooey afterwards,
some cuddles, some tickles, some little chats, maybe watch a
movie or something together.

Speaker 3 (01:31:41):
Not just straight on TikTok. Fletch just looks confused at
this stage. Why am I confused?

Speaker 2 (01:31:46):
Do you know, this was mostly relationship-based, but they said 46%
of hookups leave immediately to avoid awkwardness.

Speaker 3 (01:31:57):
They're like, awkwardness.

Speaker 2 (01:31:58):
I'm being like, why are you hanging around?

Speaker 3 (01:31:59):
Comments, thoughts? Sorry, the line just cut out there, guys.
Sorry about that. That's actually what he says to them
just before he kicks them out too. The line's cut out.

Speaker 2 (01:32:07):
Just looks at them blankly. He's like, what?

Speaker 3 (01:32:09):
Sorry, the line's... Oh, the song's playing.

Speaker 4 (01:32:11):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:32:13):
Yeah, we couldn't get into it more.

Speaker 1 (01:32:15):
Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five
stars because you wanted five stars back?

Speaker 2 (01:32:20):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:32:20):
Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it
five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same
for you if you ever need a review for anything.
But where are you giving me my five stars?

Speaker 1 (01:32:30):
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:32:30):
Do you own a restaurant or something?

Speaker 2 (01:32:32):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:32:33):
If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell
us where you would like your review, and we'll review.
We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I
don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm
doing one of those secret... Restaurants. Oh, I was going
to say, that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.

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Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st September 2026

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st September 2026