Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 7th September 2026 - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
From the ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
This is Fletch, Warren and Hayley's Big Pod.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands at
the lowest prices. Fletch, Warren.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Oh!

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Fletch, Warren and where's Hayley? Where's Hayley? Where's Hayley? She's
not here. She was in Gisborne last week. Any comment, Hayley?
I just say hit her up now if you want
some money. At Hayley Sproul. Hayley J Sproul. No, it's

(00:37):
just Hayley Sproul. On Instagram, just send her a message.
I'd love some of that, what is it, $ 28 million. Hey,
can I have some of your $ 28 million? I mean,
she'll give you a couple. I reckon she's giving us
out a couple of them. After everybody messages, a couple
of dollars each. She'll have more than enough. By the way,

(01:00):
instantsuccess.nz is this website. Someone just made this and you
press the button and it plays the winning. How'd they
get the winning lotto sound? I don't know how they
made that. It's amazing. It's really good. It's just a button.
You just hit it. Makes it feel like one lotto.
So you could be in store checking your ticket or
prank your friends. You messaged me yesterday saying one person won.
I hadn't checked. I opened it up and it made

(01:20):
that noise on the app.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
And it said, congratulations, you're a winner. But it took
ages to say four bonus lines. So I was like,
it's taking ages because it's calculating how many millions of
dollars it needs to give me. Hence, we're at work
this morning. Yeah. And Hayley is filming. Well, was filming yesterday.
Have you been paying attention to the TV show in Australia?

Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
She'll be back with us tomorrow on the show. Chance
for you to win free fuel this morning. Again, we'll
do that at 8 o'clock. BP rewards. 8 o'clock, listen
for the activator to play. Also coming up, Vaughan, you've
got the top six. You would have heard Bryn mention
in the news. Yeah, the Greens said, elect us and
we'll make another supermarket. We'll make it Kiwi-owned, we'll keep
prices down, we'll break up the duopoly. Or they'll sell.

(02:02):
Are they going to do ushies? Are they going to
do knives? I don't know if they do. Probably won't.
I'm sure. So I've got the top six things you'll
find in a Greens-run supermarket. Next on the show, though,
I'm going to talk about living life on autopilot.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Dude.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Which is, I think, how I got to work this morning.

Speaker 5 (02:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:17):
Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, there's been a study done in America. The average American, 80%
of Americans say, 82% of Americans say that they live
their life on autopilot.

Speaker 7 (02:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
That was me this morning. I might have thought it
might have been my drinking, but then I stopped drinking.
And it just gets to a certain time of the night,
and I'm literally just, I end up in bed, and
I don't know. And you're just like, where'd that day go?
I just get tired, and it's just like, I don't
know what happens now, but I wake up in the
morning and my stuff's ready to go, and I'm like,
I don't know how that happened. I know, my brain

(02:56):
just gets tired. It just gets foggy and then I'm
in bed. Well, the average American said that their energy
during the day starts fading around 2.48 p.m.

Speaker 8 (03:03):
2.48?

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Very specific. I think they got the average of everybody.
So roughly 3 o'clock and people are done for the day.

Speaker 4 (03:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
They're just absolutely drained. 82% say they're running their lives
on autopilot. 71% skip or delay meals because they're too
busy during the day. They do that about three and
a half times a week. They're just like too busy.
Too busy, skip a meal. Autopilot. Sometimes on the weekend
I'll have a late breakfast and just get busy and
then lunch doesn't happen. And then it's dinner. Yeah, but

(03:32):
I'm squeezing some cheese. I have a little cheese squeeze.
There's always time for fridge cheese. Yeah. A little squeeze
of some cheese. Yeah, maybe dip into the grated cheese bag. Oh, no.
I'm a block guy. You're a block guy. I'll grab
my own cheese. Yeah, I know. I'm somewhat of a budget. Well,
sometimes I'm lazy. Yeah, that's big. The worst autopilot is
when you're doing a long drive. And you're like, how

(03:54):
did I get here? But then that just starts. It's
exactly that feeling. And I'll just be like, oh, I'm
in bed now. Yeah. I've eaten dinner. And then, I
don't know, I think I've watched something. And now I'm
in bed. And I don't know how it happened. When's
the part of the day when you're alive? Now. Coffee.

(04:18):
Maybe we need to hit the coffee machine. Because I've
stopped doing the afternoon coffees. Oh, yeah, you should stop. Well,
depending on what time you go to bed, you should
stop your coffees.

Speaker 5 (04:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
I don't know. Is it seven hours before you go
to sleep? I technically don't have any since after leaving
work now because I used to have a three o'clocker. Oh, yeah,
that's not good. But I don't have a three o'clocker.
But then your mum can pound a coffee before bed.
So do South Africans. Do they? As a South African,
Ursula Carlson used to do it. Like, have you been
paying attention? We'd finish recording and she'd have a coffee.
I'd be like, What? And she'd be like, oh, South Africans, mate.

(04:48):
We're powerliners before bed. And still sleep. Apparently.

Speaker 8 (04:53):
Wild.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Crazy, eh? Maybe that's why they won the rugby at
the weekend. Oh, I didn't even know that the All
Blacks were playing autopilot. I was just waz. I was waz. 100% waz. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
I don't know who made it.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
It's brilliant. It's brilliant. Just so we feel like we've
won something. Yeah. Won something. I lost another thing on Friday,
which is what I want to tell you guys about now.
I've got this wacky plan to make these really long candles. What?
These hand-dipped beeswax candles. Right, why? It required just, because
why not? How long? Life's short. Okay, so. What, like

(05:30):
in a castle long? Like, you know, when you saw
Game of Thrones, they had long candles. So one of
the options is 40 centimetres.

Speaker 9 (05:36):
Right.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
That's not long. And one of them's 80. Oh, that's long.
That's a long candle. It's a bit silly long. It's
a bit silly long. That's silly long for a candle.
That is a bit silly long. You don't want that
flopping over and setting your wall on fire. No, it
would go hard. It would melt down like a standard candle. Right.
But we needed to custom make what the wax will
be melted in. Right. So I call it... Friend of

(05:57):
the show and personal friend, Chris, he's like, yeah, I've
got just the pipe. Come around, we'll do some welding. Right.
When you guys were working on a submarine or something,
Chris and I. Yeah. What were you working on? We
built the barbecue. Oh, yeah. It just looked like a submarine.
It looked somewhat submarine like when we first started because
it had compressed air tanks and we turned it into
an offset barbecue. It only took eight years or something

(06:19):
to build. Right. These didn't. These just took an afternoon.
Are you sure you're not bringing in? Drugs from Columbia?
I am for the gangs. Don't tell anybody what I am.
I've built some small drug remote control submarines. Right. Fantastic. Yeah. Okay.
So there's pipe and we go and you got to
weld a bottom on the pipe. Okay. And this is
where Amy, my girlfriend, she was better at welding than me.

(06:42):
And it hurt. What do you mean you guys were welding?

Speaker 10 (06:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
You're just allowed to without a, do you need a
license for that? No, I don't think you need a
license to weld.

Speaker 10 (06:51):
Right.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
So we did some welding in there because I've done
it before and terribly, but I was like, I have
done it before, so I'll have some. But no, it
was one of those things where a soft feminine touch
is a little bit more than a male rip, shit
and bust. What do you mean? Why do you need
a feminine touch for welding? You need a soft, you
need to hold the. I don't know how it works.
Did we do TIG or MIG? We did one of
the welding and the little gas comes out and it

(07:14):
does that. You've got to wear the helmet so you
don't get blinded. So if you're welding two things together.

Speaker 10 (07:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
You put the, what is it? The solder stuff. What
is it? Metal. What do you put a thing that
you melt to? The gas causes an arc between the
two metals and they melt together. Oh, that's cool. But
do you need something else to? You need the gas
coming out of the thing and the little arc to form. Right.
I don't know, there was a gas tank back there. No,
but do you need like another bit of metal to melt? No,

(07:41):
that's the other type. Oh, okay, right. That's the other
type of welding. Like soldering iron. Yeah, hold on. When
you melt that stuff. Tug, tug, tug. welding man there's
some engineers listening throwing things at the radio right now
i just walk past construction sites and i always look
at the bright light i know yeah you're not meant
to no you're not metal inert gas welding is faster
and easier to learn while tig tungsten inert gas welding

(08:02):
offers superior precision and cleaner more attractive finishes oh mig
is a continuous machine fed wire electrode that melts into
the joint to act as a metal filler so it
wasn't that we was doing tig Okay. So we're doing
TIG welding. Right. So you've just got to hold it
like just about, just off. You can't have it touch her.
It goes and joins.

Speaker 10 (08:21):
Right.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
So I was like two, but she had the soft
grip and the soft. So she got the arc. Good. Right.
And she was better at welding than me. Whereas you're
just in there. Yeah. Rip shit and bust. Okay. So
I'd just say there's a. So you were melding a
candle holder. Yeah. No, not a candle holder. The thing
that we're going to put and melt the wax in

(08:42):
and then dip the wick in and pull it out
and let it set and then dip it back in
and pull it out and let it set and slowly
build up a giant candle. Right. Again, why don't you
just have a little candle like everybody else? Well, we
can make little candles as well, but it's just like
hobbies they're called. Oh, I see. Okay, right. Hobbies and interests.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
And then you make these things. So now I've got
two 400 tall candles. It's made of the same stuff
as bollards. They stopped kids doing ram raids. Oh, okay.
They were leftovers. They were leftovers. Leftover ram raid bollards. Yeah, yeah.
So that's what I'll be making the candles in. Okay.
Is there a dairy out there, though, that's bollard-less? Are
we worried about that? We took two bollards. It's just

(09:22):
enough to squeeze an aqua through in front of a
vape shop. Well, you know, that's how producer Carwin lost
her aqua. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her first aqua. Did that
hit bollards? No, it just hit the dairy. It hit
the dairy. I think it just hit the dairy. Oh, no,
these bolides are solid. They're filled with concrete, the ones
that are in the ground, so you're not living them
at all. Okay. But, yeah. So you're a welder now. Well, no,
I'm terrible at welding. But your girlfriend is better. She's

(09:44):
got a soft touch, and she just held it just
at the right amount off and did a beautiful weld. Beautiful.
Beautiful weld, actually. It was quite hot. She's a keeper.
She's quite hot watching all the guys like this. Tie
the hair back. Straight on the... Do you get to
wear the Darth Vader helmet?

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
Well, you have to, otherwise... you get blind With the
welding light That might be where I went wrong Well 51%
of pet owners Say that travelling with a pet Is
better Than travelling with a human Aww Yeah I can

(10:20):
see what they mean. What, are you going to take
your dog on a romantic Rarotongan vacation? I wouldn't take
my dog to Rarotonga. He's such a stud. He'd be
alpha dog. Have you seen the dogs yet? Oh, yeah,
the dogs in Rarotonga today. Cute, but they're all a
bit minging.

Speaker 9 (10:33):
They're weird.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Look at their long. Kinky tails. Low to the ground.
Low to the ground. Weird dogs. Take a golden retriever there.
What's hit them? No. Well, 45% of people have turned
down travel because they couldn't accommodate their animal.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Right.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
And I don't know if you've, Australia are doing it
a lot now, but if you've ever travelled in America,
pets on planes is like a huge thing. You'll just
be sitting there. And someone will have some weird little
dog in a carry cage and on their lap and
you'll just be like, and it's yapping away. No, the
yapping must not occur. I've been on a flight in
New Zealand with a seeing eye dog. Yes. Like a

(11:09):
guide dog. Absolutely. And assistance dogs. Totally cool. Totally cool.
But like when someone's taking their stupid dog away for
a weekend, it's like, nope.

Speaker 11 (11:19):
Right.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Where's it pissing on a two-hour flight, you know? That's
what I do. What, are you going to put a
nappy down on the floor? Do you take them to
the bathroom and put like a pet pad down and
then jam it in the bin?

Speaker 10 (11:28):
Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how that works. But, like,
people turning down, like, travel plans. Yeah. Like, just because
they can't take their pet. I love my cat, but
I'm not. Turning down travel plans. I'm not turning down
any plan. I'll leave it at home. I like when
people are, like, their best mates, their dog, and they
go on, like, road trips and stuff. But it's hard
to find places where you can take your dog. A

(11:51):
lot of places. It's true. Well, it's actually younger owners
as well that are leading the trend. 75% of Gen Z, 70%
of Millennials. They've taken a pet on a road trip,
which is easy enough to put a dog in the car. Cats,
they don't like cars as much unless you start them
in the car young. Start them young. As a kitten,
get the kitten on the dashboard. I remember the cat,

(12:14):
even a small ride with the cat, when we got
Cheeto vomited like twice or thrice in the car.

Speaker 10 (12:21):
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 (12:21):
You've got to start it. Road sickness. You've got to
start them young. 40% of boomers are like, no, leave
it at home. Only 40% would prefer the cat or
the dog goes with. But yeah. Boomers get very attached
to animals though. Yeah, they do. They pretend they don't.
They pretend they're all tough and stuff. Yeah. No, we
don't need another cat. No, no. And then there's another cat.

(12:41):
And then there's another cat and they love it. They
love it and they're giving it lots of pets and
lots of attention.

Speaker 7 (12:45):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
That'd be interesting. I don't, I don't, can, in Airbnbs nowadays,
is there a listing for like the pet friendly ones?
Cause that's another thing. Oh yeah, I don't know actually.
Just finding accommodation, even campgrounds. That will let you take
a dog. And if you're taking a cat, that's... I
was going to say you could sneak the dog with
the cat into the Airbnb, but so many owners have
the cameras. Yeah, the cameras are there in the... And

(13:07):
they're like, excuse me, just remember no guests in parties. Like,
how do you know that? Because they're watching the cameras.
They're watching everyone come up the road. Because if you
had an Airbnb, would you watch the cameras? Yes. The
driveway ones, but I wouldn't watch the... Unless they were hot.
Unless they were hot. There's no inside cameras. Oh, is
there no inside cameras? Of course, I was only joking.

(13:28):
No inside cameras. Oh, of course, yeah, no.

Speaker 2 (13:31):
The ZM Podcast Network.

Speaker 6 (13:33):

Speaker 1 (13:37):
From your local community Facebook page, this is The Top Six.
The Green Party announced over the weekend they plan to
break up the supermarket duopoly and create a publicly owned
supermarket chain called Kiwi Mart. as part of its affordable
CHI election policy. Okay. And this would mean they sell
existing supermarkets. They force Woolies or Pack and Save or

(14:00):
New World or whatever to sell stores. By the looks
of it, yes.

Speaker 8 (14:04):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Wouldn't be cheap to build a supermarket. They haven't got
all my smeg knives yet. Oh. Do they do smeg?
We'll sort out the smeg. Okay. We'll sort out the
smeg knives. So they said the cost of acquiring 120
stores and two distribution centres would be $ 1. 3 billion and
a further $ 1. 5 billion. to capitalise it as a commercially
viable competitor. We produce all this food. Why is food
so expensive? There's a whole lot of rules about price

(14:26):
gouging and stuff. That's a great question. Yeah, well, about
the top six things you'll find at a Green Party supermarket. Okay.
Number six on the list, broccoli. Because it's green? Because
it's green. Okay, right. I mean, it's a superfood.

Speaker 8 (14:38):
It is.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
It's a great food. It's so yum. It is, yeah. Yeah.
Grew my own broccoli this year. Oh, yeah? How'd that go? Nah, shit.
Should have just... Did it go flowery? Well, it's really...
You know, it's really when broccoli's pretty much 99 cents each,
and the 99 cents one's significantly better than the one
I've poured my heart and soul into for a few months.
So why bother? Yeah, why bother? Number five on the
list of the top six things you'll find at the

(14:59):
Green Party's Kiwi Mart, M & M' s. But... Only the
green ones. Oh, okay. She's the sexiest M & M
as well. Right. All the red and blue ones. We
don't want Labour or Nat M & Ms. No, or yellow. Okay,
or yellow. No, we don't want those ones. Just the
sexy green M & M. Also, speaking of politics, because
you know all the parties are coming out now because
the election's coming up. Have you seen David Seymour on

(15:20):
a bicycle? No. Have you got the paper there? No. Here, look.
I think he was riding it. Didn't he ride a
bike last election as well? So he rode a bike
because he was announcing some kind of emissions thing. But
he looks like a man that's never been on a
bicycle before. Look at that. Oh, his helmet's too far back. Yeah.
What kind of bike? Why is he riding that old

(15:41):
school bike? It looks like a bike someone in the
French Resistance would have ridden in World War II. Like
what do you, an undercover Nazi? An undercover Nazi. Yeah,
trying to be a... Or somebody trying to infiltrate and
blow up some train lines or something. It reminds me
of when there was a Muppets movie and there was
a spot of, there was a shot of Kermit the
Frog riding a bike and you were like, how is

(16:03):
that working? Exactly. That's what David Seymour looks like riding
a bike. Interesting. I wish I'd never seen it. Number
four on the list of the top six things you'll
find at the Green Party's Kiwi Mart. Sour cream and
onion chips. Because they're always the green. Okay, yeah, right.
They're the green chips, because you might be like, oh,
salt and vinegar, but salt and vinegar's not green in every,
because your Pringles is blue, isn't it? Salt and vinegar. Yeah,
it is. Number three on the list of the top

(16:24):
six things you'll find at the green parties, Kiwi Mart,
are green-lipped mussels. Okay, because they're green? Yeah. Right, okay.
Sustainably sourced. Yeah, okay. Green-lipped mussels.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yum.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
No bottom dredging. No. Mm-mm. Number two on the list
of the top six things you'll find at the green
parties are Kiwi Mart lime milkshakes. Because they're green? They're green. Okay.
Arguably the worst milkshake flavour. So they know I won't
be able to get apples unless they're... Granny Smith. Okay, right. Yeah, correct.
I can't see this working. Number one on the list
of the top six things you'll find at the green parties,
Kiwi Mart, the greenie New Zealand lollies. Okay, right. To

(16:57):
really break the mould. Right. Yeah, the pick and mix
will just basically be... Green Air New Zealand Lollies, which
are doing the heavy lifting in the Air New Zealand
Lollie range. We've discussed this before. They're a show favourite,
the Green Air New Zealand Lollies. That is today's top six.
So I got sent a link from my daughter to
an Instagram story shared by the account Fluffy. And this

(17:20):
is what she wanted you to talk about on the radio.
That'd be good. And it just shares animal stories, basically. Oh,
that's already a good start. You know animal stories work well. Well,
it must do. They've got 3.2 million followers. Oh, okay.
Here's some of the other things. This cat had eyeliner
applied to only one eye. And it's a cat with
a coloring that makes it look like it's only got

(17:40):
its eyeliner on one side. That's pretty cute. It's a
cute cat. It's black, but it's got like a white face. Right.
Other such stories. This orange cat in Sydney somehow become
a 4.9 star Google Maps attraction. Brilliant. That's another story
they've shared. Tucker Bunzin, internet's favorite golden retriever, has passed away.
I used to follow Tucker on Instagram. Anyway, the one

(18:01):
she sent me was she said, you should talk about this.
And I said, I'm not even going to see if
this fact checks out until I talk about it on air. Okay.
She sent me a story that said a school goes
into lockdown, but mountain lion that triggered lockdown turned out
to just be a fat orange cat. And she sends
this picture. This is obviously photoshopped because I don't think

(18:23):
a cat can be that fat. Oh, they can. Can
you reckon a cat can be that fat? Oh, maybe.
That's pretty fat. That deserves its own reality show if
that cat is that fat. And then a picture of
a mountain lion of the same hue, the same kind
of mountain lion. Like an orange mountain lion.

Speaker 10 (18:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
So I said, I'm not even going to look into it.
I'm not even going to check this until we're live
on air. I've done a verification. Okay. The core of this,
is it real? It's old. Correct. Yes, because I remember
this story from a long time ago. It's a genuine
story from November 2023. Yes. A school went into lockdown
at 10.30, but it was quickly lifted after staff confirmed
there was no perma-stalk in the school grounds, with a

(18:59):
school member saying educators soon learned the mountain lion was
actually just a fat cat eating a rat. LAUGHTER It
happened at Moses Lake, Golf Elementary in Moses Lake, Washington. Okay.
And a local commenter identified the cat as her neighbor's
large orange cat called George, and he is a huge
ginger puss. He's a big puss. So I'm going to
take great pride in telling her it's not only old,

(19:20):
which is Fletch's, this is Fletch 101. Chuck's a story
in the print sheet to talk about on air, and
then someone fact checks it, and it happened in like 2019.
Always check the date. August, if she's going to be
providing you with stories, needs to check the dates. Yeah.
and then it also says this photo is fake and
misattributed this isn't it's not a fat cat this is
a jerry stock image okay of a fat cat so

(19:43):
that's something that might be this cat might be legitimately
fat though this cat that's pictured. And yeah, it's a recycled,
rehashed story of what happened in 2023.

Speaker 10 (19:54):
Right.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Still a cute story. So I don't mean to mow
her down because she obviously gave us this break and
it's one less break to wear ourselves had to fill
she's just seeing her dad work so hard trying to
source content from online trying to fill this bottomless pit
that is you know a five day a week radio
show yeah talking after every song yeah and she's like
you know what i'll check a little bit of content

(20:15):
yeah this will give dad a break i'm gonna send
this to her now and tell her it was um
It's old. It was a five out of ten. Yeah, three.
She needs to try better. Three years old.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, tell her to come back to the drawing board
with a new story. With a modern, hot take. And
maybe we can... On a fat ginger cat. Spin it
off into a phone and top it as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What did your cat get confused for?

Speaker 6 (20:33):
Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Fistler. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. Never
heard of Fistler. F-I-S-S-L-E-R. I'm on their website and it's
giving me prices in Euro. Okay. So are we talking
posh European... Sounds posh European. Well, we're looking up Fistler
because that's the brand that apparently is doing the next
Woolworths collectibles in Australia. But come on. But come on.

(20:59):
But come on. But come on. But come on. Did
we do Oshies at the same time as Australia? We did.
We did. I think we started just after them. People
have started posting this online, and you may have seen
some news stories or friends posting this from Australia. Yeah.
But this range is starting September 9th. In Australia only
at this stage. That's in two days. But, like, we

(21:22):
always get the same things, right? Yeah, so it says
you'll earn a credit for every $ 20 you spend in Australia,
but you have to scan your everyday rewards card to
be eligible. Right. Does that mean it goes on the
card rather than, like, sticker collectibles? It goes on the card? Yeah.
So then it can be redeemed for containers. Now, these containers,

(21:42):
they're not like... You click clacks all your systemas. They're
like bento boxes. They're real posh. So there's glass containers
because we're not low-tox glass. Yeah, love that. Love a
little low-tox glass. So there's four different sizes in the
glass containers, up to 2.4 litres. Then there's a stainless
steel container with divider. Is that your bento box looking one? No,

(22:05):
because then it says a 930ml bento in purple or green. So,
but these other ones, these are steel containers. They're just
more like a, you know, like a plastic. Yeah, right.
Here's the one I'm the most excited about. Get to
the bottom here. The Fissler mixing bowl and three-piece grater set. Oh, okay.

(22:28):
What is the grater attached to? The bowl? So you
grate into the bowl. Because I'm on the first little
website here, and I went to the bowl. I've gone
to bowls, and there's bowls that are a three-piece bowl set.
That looks very nice. It's got the measurements on the
inside of the bowl. So if you needed so many mils,
you could fill up the bowl to that mark. I've
never heard of this brand, though. That does mean you

(22:49):
have to add your wet ingredients first, and if you're
making it generally, you add all your dry, don't you,
and slowly add in your wet. This would be a
little bit of a reverse-o. God, it never stops. Like,
if it's not the Smeg knives or the Ooshies or
something else. It's always something. It's always something. It's always
bloody something. Well, like we said, Australia only at this stage. Yeah.

(23:10):
But they're starting in, what, two days? Yes. We just
started promo on a Wednesday. Is that the day they
started promo? Well, that's what the 9th is, yeah. New
movies are always on the Thursday. Yeah. New movies always
come out on the Thursday. Why are new movies on
a Thursday? Don't know. There'll be some old reason for that.
There'll be some reason.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Are you going to Google it? Yeah. Tacos, of course.
That's Tuesday. And Cheap Movies is Tuesday. They're always... New
movies debut on Thursday evenings to boost overall box office
numbers and build early bars before Friday release. So that
weekend is box office.

Speaker 6 (23:46):
Right.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
So they want people going to the movie at the weekend.
Get a little bit of chat about it. Okay, well,
that's why they do that. That's why they do that.
Those containers look all right, though. These containers look very old. Yeah,
people are going to go feral for these.

Speaker 12 (23:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
A recipe yesterday for a chia seed pudding thing with
blueberries in it. God, it sounds like you shit yourself
at some stage today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I
haven't had it. Oh, right. It's to be had later. Oh, okay.
I'll have some when I get home. Right. But my
girlfriend is making it for her, like, work lunch. So
she does have a work. Yeah, crazy to have that

(24:24):
at work. Chia seeds do tear through anyway. They tear
through me. One day I teamed up. Kiwi fruit, chia seeds,
and a probiotic. Oh, there'll be nothing left. Yeah. And
a banana in there for good mix. You know what?
Banana will get things going. Yeah. If you want a
complete clean out, what are those? Reckon you just gob
a few nannies, eh? And it'll just really get through you.
I've never heard that, but okay. I'll believe you on that.

(24:44):
Recently for this blueberry diarrhea causing chia pudding. Yeah. Called
for a scant cup of milk. A scant cup of milk? Like,
hardly there? What does scant mean? I was like, what's
a scant? My immediate reaction was, what's scant milk? Because
it said one scant cup of milk, so it was
like one cow's cup of milk. But scant? So I

(25:07):
was like, I've never seen a recipe with a scant
in it before. Okay, well, it's got a few meanings,
like the medical meaning, like body fluids or secretions. In medicine,
scant means very small, meagre, or barely sufficient amount of
substance or finding. Right, yeah, so scant, upon Googling it,

(25:27):
it just means you basically get a cup of milk
and then just shake a bit out. I mean, it's
like just less than a cup of milk. Wait, but
is that three quarters.

Speaker 8 (25:35):
Of a cup?

Speaker 1 (25:36):
No, it's more than three quarters of a cup. It's
a scant cup. Is it seven-eighths of a cup? It's
like you're filling up the measuring cup and you stop
just before it gets there. This was like investigation. There
was a 20-minute investigation into what exactly. I don't want
to get this wrong. What's a scant cup? Well, why
not just give a millimetre? Why not just say a cup? Exactly.
Or just say how many mils? 245 mils. Yeah. We've

(25:58):
got the technology.

Speaker 8 (26:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
We can work that out. Is this from ages ago
when they didn't have Pyrexes with mils on it?

Speaker 12 (26:04):
This was a modern recipe.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
But is it an old cooking term? Oh, maybe. I
don't know. It says in here, yeah, a scant cup
of sugar. It means like just under. Not like heat.
But I guess it's the opposite of what you say,
add a heat cup. Okay, so it comes from old... Oh,
that might be the term itself. Yeah, that's the term
itself is Old Norse roots. It's the opposite of a heap.

(26:30):
Someone has also just messaged in, it's the opposite to
a heaped cup, where you're like, and a heaped cup.
Which we accept. Which we accept a heaped cup. And
it's heaped. It's heaped. The heaping does itself. Like a
heaped teaspoon. You don't say two teaspoons, you say a
heaped teaspoon. And if you say a scant teaspoon. So
I've come to the conclusion that a scant is just
like the measurement in a shake. Just a little bit out. Yeah.

(26:51):
Or just don't fill it in. But it's hard to
shake it and get them. Exactly. Yeah, because you don't
want to waste milk or whatever. Yeah, exactly. Do it
over the sink and shake your milk everywhere. But if
it was over like a bag of flour. How have
I never heard this term? I've just never, in all
the recipes, and I love recipes, and I've got millions
of them saved that I'll never make. Yeah, but is
this because you used AI to find this recipe? No,
because then we put it in and put it into

(27:14):
the AI.

Speaker 8 (27:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
Took a photo of it and put it into the AI,
and he's like, yeah, just use a scan cup. What
is it? Well, it's not quite a cup. How much
less of a cup is it? Yeah, because you're getting
close to three quarters of a cup there. Well, no,
definitely if you've gone too close to three quarters of
a cup, that's viciously scant. Yeah. That's too scant. That's
too scant. That's too scant. You just need scant. I
guess if it can be given another measurement, if you've

(27:36):
gone too scant. Yeah. A scant is just under. Apparently. Apparently.
So they say. And I've never had to deal with it.
And I'm hoping never again. Because I was so... Taken
aback by how much is taken out of the cup. Yeah.
And it's scant. But then it's the same, you could say,
how much do you put for a heaped cup? Gravity

(27:56):
takes care of that. You scoop it in and you
hold it. But sometimes it's too much. You can definitely
get a heap on there. Oh, you can get a
real heap on there again. Probably just a shake. Okay. Scant. Scant.
Little bit out. Oh, what about scantily clad? Of course. Oh, yeah. Okay. Scant.
Probably the same things. I mean, because you wouldn't expect

(28:17):
a nipple for scantily clad, would you? No, but you'd
expect some side tit.

Speaker 5 (28:21):
Excuse me.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Excuse my language. You'd expect a bulge. For the gents. Yep.
You'd be able to see a bulge. A little bit
of side testy. I don't think you'd go side testy. Cheek,
ass cheek for both genders. Bit of ass cheek, yep.
And a side tit. Right, that's scant. Men's clothes up.
Men nipple. Yep. Men nipple would be scantily clad. Women,
no nipple for scant. No nipple for scantily clad. Right,

(28:44):
there we go. Well, there we go. We've learnt a new-
Someone said you can't heap milk. I've actually got a
bloody good point there. A heaped cup of milk. Unless
you freeze it. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha.

Speaker 2 (28:55):

Speaker 1 (28:59):
ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Hey, it's Dominic Fyke, Babydoll on ZM.
That is a 1 minute 36 song, which is ridiculously short.
I will say, in the age of a short song.
I know it was a demo that then got released,
but at least double it up. I would have been like,
loop it. I would have been like, loop it. Yeah,
but he probably wants some extra money. I'm actually going
to go and have a chat to Sam in production

(29:20):
after the show and just say, we need our own
ZM remix of this Dominic Fike song. 1 minute 36
is ridiculous. Let's get it up to a three minute.
I don't even think I can make it as a
toilet and back in 1 minute 36. I wouldn't even
make it there. I am one to stop and chat. Yeah.
I'm easily distracted on the way to the bathroom. If
you were walking to the toilet.

Speaker 8 (29:39):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Touched the toilet door and came back, do you think
that song would be finished? The Dominic Fike song. There's
only one way to know. Play it again. Play it
again and I'll go. Call the radio station.

Speaker 8 (29:49):
What?

Speaker 1 (29:50):
On your phone.

Speaker 10 (29:51):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
So I can talk to you. Okay. Oh, we're going
to play it and talk over it. You're not allowed
to run, though. You've got to walk. No, I'm going
to casually walk. You've got to Vaughan walk. What's the
phone number? 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Have you never said it before? No,
that's a really good point, actually. Okay, hang on. Is
it ringing? It's ringing. Is it this one?

Speaker 13 (30:11):
Hello?

Speaker 1 (30:12):
Hello? Oh, Colin's putting me on hold. She's just screening
you just in case you're a creep. I hung up
on you. Because of my fat fingers, you're going to
have to do that again.

Speaker 12 (30:24):
Sorry.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
What's the phone number again? Oh, wait. You really should
get some fish oil. Have you thought about some fish oil? No,
I can't. Oh, the burps afterwards. God, I don't like
the burps.

Speaker 11 (30:33):
Right.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Okay. Okay, it's ringing. God, I can't wait to be
on the radio. Hello? Hi, Carwen. No, it's still just Carwen.
It's still Carwen. Carwen, put me through to the main studio. Flesh.
Was she lovely? Was she nice? Good phone number? She
just said I'll pop you through to Vaughan. I am Vaughan. Vaughan.

Speaker 11 (30:47):
She got us confused.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
No, she's not wrong because you are there.

Speaker 13 (30:50):
Oh, yeah, true.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
I am.

Speaker 13 (30:52):
Okay, you ready to start playing Dominant Fight?

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Okay. Stand by. Yep, go. And I'll talk to you
while it plays. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 13 (30:59):
I'm just going through the producer's booth. Hi, producers.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
I can see you exiting the main studio there. Okay,
we've got a minute 25 left. Okay, I'm just walking slowly.

Speaker 8 (31:10):
We're playing in the iHeart Lounge.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Okay, I believe we're on in the toilets today as well,
so that would be lovely. Oh, okay. You'll hear yourself there. Okay,
we're just getting to the minute 10 mark of the song.

Speaker 13 (31:20):
Very confusing for the security guards. Winston Peters is in
the foyer.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
Good morning.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Talk to Winston. Ask him how he is. I'm guessing
the Dominic Fife theory. Okay. I'm just about to get
to the door of the toilet. Unbelievable that you passed
up a chat with your political icon. 53 seconds. Okay.

Speaker 11 (31:42):
I'm just turning the tap on.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Okay, you're washing your hands. You haven't gone wheeze as well,
I will say that. No, no, no, definitely not. Okay,
41 seconds. I'm casually, I'm strolling.

Speaker 13 (31:59):
I'm not like super slow walking.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay. 29 seconds.

Speaker 11 (32:04):
Okay, hold on.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
I'm just scanning in.

Speaker 13 (32:10):
I'm walking through the office.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Oh, you've taken the other way. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 13 (32:14):
I just thought I'd change it up.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Hi, Marty. Marty's at his desk.

Speaker 13 (32:17):
He's here bright and early.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
He's here bright and early.

Speaker 13 (32:20):
Okay, I'm coming back through the producer's booth.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
Hi, we're back.

Speaker 10 (32:24):
Hi, producers.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
Five seconds. Four seconds.

Speaker 13 (32:30):
I'm back into the studio.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yeah, there we go. See, that's not enough time. You
didn't even go wheeze. No wheeze. No wheeze. And I certainly, yeah,
there was no, I just turned the tap off and on.
That's not long enough to wash your hands. It's unbelievable. See,
this is why we need more time. At least a
three-minute version. We'll loop it. Yeah, I reckon we'll loop it.

(32:53):
When you really messed up your job, maybe just embarrassingly.
Just a silly, simple mistake, such as the Australian who
was in charge of the flags on Flag Day. Which,
by the way, is to celebrate the 125 years of
the Australian flag. Yeah. So it's all about the flag.

(33:14):
It's all the different flags.

Speaker 8 (33:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
Two flags that were up amongst the row of flags
were the New Zealand flag. Which, in fairness, does look
very similar. Yeah, it does. What's an extra star, you know? Wait,
who's got an extra star? They've got two extra stars.
Two extra stars. Is that right?

Speaker 12 (33:31):
One.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
I thought it was one. They've got the big fat one,
but I think they've got another one with their other
stars in the Southern Cross as well. Because we've just
got the Southern Cross. Which doesn't look like that, so
don't look at the sky looking for it. Yeah, they've
got two. A big fatty under the Union Jack.

Speaker 10 (33:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
And then, yeah, a little one. Huge fatty. And then
just a little beauty mark on there.

Speaker 9 (33:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
I like how it's better. I think the red stars
with the white, I just like the four. Even though
that's not what the Southern Cross looks like if you
look up on the stars. But it's very funny. It
was quickly pointed out the flags were then taken down
and changed to the Australian flags to celebrate, again, the
Australian flag flying. No, they didn't put any more up.
They just took the two New Zealand ones down and

(34:10):
they left two blank flag posts. Did they not order enough?
Do you think someone was like, they didn't have enough,
they're like, no one will notice? Yeah. No one will notice.
Just put them up. So quite a, quite an embarrassing
mix up considering the whole event was about the Australian flags,
you know? So I don't know. When have you made
a big mistake at work? Maybe a mistake that was

(34:31):
a typo. Or something that went out to clients or
an ordering mistake or an mistake that cost the company
a lot of money. Yeah. Because at least this is,
I mean, it's humorous, but no one died. No money
was lost. Get the ball rolling here with a primary
school teacher. Took the students to visit the port. Simple enough.
Count the kids when they get on the bus and
when they go. Get off the bus and then when

(34:52):
they get back on. And don't they all wear little
fluoro jackets now? They're little kids. Yeah. I don't think
you take tiny kids to the port. This feels more
like a high school, intermediate high school. They won't wear
their little high-vis vests. Back in my day, we just
wore mufti on a school trip and good luck to
the teacher finding you. It was a challenge.

Speaker 7 (35:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
We made them work for their money. It was survival. And,
you know, back in those days, kids could work in
factories too. So we could have been taken by the
factory and sort of put to work immediately. Yeah, I know.
On child wages. We were so lucky. We were so
lucky to get through it. We were so lucky. We
lost some good kids. We lost some good kids at
those factories back in the 80s. Anyway, they left three
of these kids behind at the port. They counted them

(35:29):
getting off. They counted them getting back on. Somehow did
a miscount. Left three of them behind as we left
the port. That's bad. To be honest. They're probably the
shitbags though. Yeah, probably. You probably weeded out some real
problems there. But I'd imagine. They'd be lingering, mucking around, hiding,
playing the fool. If I was a kid and you
were at a port, you'd go wandering and you'd see things.
Be fun.

Speaker 10 (35:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
Okay, well, whether you lost some kids, whatever it is,
big mistakes at work. 0800 Giles at him is the number.
9696 to text him. When did you really mess up
and screw up at your job? A guy in charge
of flags for Flag Day in Australia had to put
up 44 Australian flags. All the different flags that they've had,

(36:08):
two of those flags were New Zealand flags. He whoopsie-daisied. Uh-oh. Whoopsie. Yeah.
Just a little mistake. Little mistake. So how badly have
you screwed up your job? You had one job to do. Olivia,
what happened?

Speaker 4 (36:20):
So I was recently at a birth.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Okay.

Speaker 12 (36:25):
At work.

Speaker 8 (36:26):
And.

Speaker 5 (36:27):
When newborn babies are born, everything's a bit swollen.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
You can't always tell on a first look. And I
was all.

Speaker 11 (36:32):
Excited and announced, it's a girl.

Speaker 8 (36:36):
And?

Speaker 10 (36:38):
There was silence in the room.

Speaker 4 (36:39):
Everyone was pretty confused.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
And the midwife came over and was like, are you sure?

Speaker 11 (36:44):
Because it's not meant to be a girl.

Speaker 9 (36:45):
And it was.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
In fact, a boy. Hell of a start to life. Yeah.
Hell of a start to life. Being genital shamed. Being
genital shamed by a medical professional. It's a girl. Oh, no,
it's just a tiny bit. You know that story's going
to be brought up at the 21st, eh? Absolutely. Yeah,
fair enough. So tiny. Sorry, mate. Couldn't even see it.

(37:07):
So tiny for a girl. Olivia, thank you. Sarah, Sarah,
when did you screw up your job badly?

Speaker 10 (37:14):
So in our annual report, the word was meant to
be perpetrator.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Okay.

Speaker 10 (37:22):
And after it went to print, we discovered we'd said penetrator.

Speaker 7 (37:25):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
What was the annual report for that had a perpetrator?

Speaker 10 (37:30):
Oh, it was a justice-based NGO.

Speaker 2 (37:32):
Oh, right.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
Okay. But yeah, right.

Speaker 5 (37:35):
Yeah, not good.

Speaker 12 (37:36):
Not good.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Not good. Because it wouldn't pop it up, but it
wouldn't put a squiggly line because penetrator is a word.

Speaker 4 (37:42):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yes. Exactly. Those are the worst typos where it just
makes it another word. Right. And this was printed. And
then did you find it when somebody pointed out after
it had been distributed? Yeah.

Speaker 10 (37:52):
No, thankfully we caught it before the HM, but we
pulled all the printed ones and changed the digital version.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
How many printed copies did the Penetrator Gazette have?

Speaker 7 (38:04):
About 100.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
Oh, no. I just imagine you with your twink pen thinking,
Or one of those twinks things and you're writing it
in pen. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 (38:12):
It was nearly that.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
It was nearly him to go through correcting the mistake. Amazing. Sarah,
thank you. One at a time. Some messages in. I
manage your social media for a large government agency. I
didn't change the profile properly one day and I posted
on their account instead of mine. You see about this,
I really like when this happens to big companies. I
do love when this happens and someone makes a hot
political searing commentary and it's on a company's page. Yes,

(38:35):
rather than their own personal one. Yep. I'm a brewer
and I once dumped 600 litres of pre-beer, wort it's called,
pre-beer down the drain when trying to transfer it to
the fermenter because I didn't close the valve properly. No.
So it went out down the drain. Is that losing
your job kind of stuff? That's a lot, isn't it?
I guess accidents happen, don't they? Accidents do happen. It's

(38:55):
a lot of money. I once sent the marketing budget
to an external supplier. The head of IT was CC'd in.
But we just let an external supplier know our marketing budget.
Once sent an email with our company's costs and margins
attached to the customer. And they saw how much we
were marking things up before selling it to them and
lost a $ 300, 000 sale. I bet. Because they were like,

(39:17):
you'd be pissed. I told a client in an email
that I was getting something in from our Hornby branch. Oh, no. Now,
I got done dirty because it changed to Horny Brunch.
Horny Brunch. So I said, I'm getting something in from
our Horny Brunch. Doesn't. it, like, autocorrect to what you
usually type? Is it learning? Is it learning? Is it learning? Like,
have you typed Horny Brunch a few times? Yes. I

(39:40):
work with a lot of deaf people and I wrote
a report that was circulated through the entire company nationwide
titled The Challenges of Being Dead in the New Zealand Society. Oh,
instead of deaf. Instead of deaf, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Our
graduate assistant booked our CEO to go to Sydney for
an awards night and got the wrong week. She only
realised this after the plane took off. $ 1, 200 wasted on
flights and a very pissed off CEO with a full

(40:01):
day of travelling for no reason.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Air points, though. Would have got some air points. Air points. Yeah.
Air points. Probably lounge, too. Yeah. Probably lounge. Bit of relaxing.
Bit of time, you know, off grid there. Yeah. Some
other messages in. My mum printed accounts with the O. Oh,
accounts without the O in it. No. On 500 work cards.

(40:23):
So that's a completely different word, isn't it? Like the
worst word? I was supposed to order 2,000 units of
these gorgeous red T-shirts. I accidentally stumbled and ordered 20,000 units.

Speaker 10 (40:36):
What?

Speaker 1 (40:37):
So we had a big clearance sale to get rid
of red shirts. Man, who's buying red shirts? Is this
somebody that is ordering for retail stores? I don't know.
They don't say that I assume so. Unless you were
refitting every red polo throughout the New Zealand warehouse branch.
Would have just asked the warehouse if they needed some
t-shirts for their staff.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
Man, I got some red t-shirts, you guys.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Well, it's time for Better Can Guess Your Mum's Name.
And joining us to play this morning is Emily. Good morning, Emily.

Speaker 10 (41:13):
Good morning.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
Now, Emily, Vaughan's going to ask you five questions about
your mum.

Speaker 8 (41:18):
Yes, I am.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Then have 15 seconds to try and guess her name,
and if you can do that, one hundy. Awesome. Okay.
You brought a bright spark. You are on this gloomy
Monday morning.

Speaker 4 (41:28):
Thank you. I woke up at 4.30 and I've almost
finished work.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
Oh, what do you do for work?

Speaker 4 (41:34):
We spoke last Monday, actually. I'm the tampon merchandiser.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
She's a tampon merchandiser. Oh, the Tammy merch. Yeah. Emily's
name saved in the system is Emily Tammy merch, but
make it look like it's a three, like a Tammy
and then hyphen merch. Yeah. Like an actual name. Emily
Tammy merch. Well, that's great that you're nearly finished. Well, okay,
let's start with the questions. Fletch actually has something to
talk about soon on the show that involves the menstrual cycle.

(41:59):
I do, actually. Some hot off the press study. Perfect. See,
Hayley's not here, so we're making a real effort to relate.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
Oh, what an ally of woman flesh.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Thank you. He is an ally of woman. Thank you, Emily.
I've often said that. I know. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. He
thinks you're all a bit ooh and hard work, but
he's an ally.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
And that's the most important thing.

Speaker 7 (42:19):
From afar.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
All right, Emily Tammy Murch, let's begin. What's mum's date
of birth?

Speaker 4 (42:25):
The 7th of April, 1970. 1970.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
So we've got a mum there that's going to be
in the vintage of like. Well, for a start, I've
got our mother's names written down. Okay. But when you're 70s,
you're moving into more of your Lisa's. Rachel's. Yes. Heather. Lisa.
You're more your 80s. Yes, you're right. Marie. Kelly's. Yeah, Kelly, Marie.
You'll get some Kelly. You'll get a Sarah. Do they

(42:53):
have a Sarah? Yeah, pop that down for sure. Sarah.
My hand isn't working. We didn't ground or hum. Oh,
my God. My hand was... It's not too late. Okay,
can we get a little... You lead us in a hum, Emily.
We've got to in-tune each other. We've got to earth. Sorry, Emily. Okay,
when you're ready, start. Oh, yeah, I felt that. Did

(43:15):
you feel that? Yeah, I got a strong connection to...
I felt that in my chest. You felt it in
the chest. Yeah, good. Got a strong connection to a
Fiona and a Joanna there. Okay, yeah. Oh, that's a
70s mum's name, isn't it?

Speaker 9 (43:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
A born-in-the-70s mum. Yeah, born-in-the-70s. I tell you what, there
might even be a Rebecca in the mix. Okay. Rebecca Rochelle. Rochelle, okay.
Did you put a Rachel? Have you got a Rachel? Yep,
I've got Rachel there after the Lisa on the top row. Monica,
if we're going all the Friends characters. Yeah, we could
go Monica. Ross. I'm not feeling a Phoebe, though. Not

(43:46):
a Phoebe? You're not putting a Phoebe. Her mum's name's
definitely not Ross. Okay, yeah. I might put a Vanessa, though. Yes,
that's it. I'm giving big real estate mum name. Very
much so. A real estate mum, Vanessa. Very much so.
Vanessa from Harcourt. Paula. Paula, put down Paula. Yep. What
is it? It's Heather from Harcourt's, isn't it? I'll put
Heather down. Yep, put that down. What's mum's favourite restaurant? Like,

(44:08):
if you were going to shout mum out for dinner,
where would you take her?

Speaker 11 (44:11):
Well, do you know what?

Speaker 4 (44:12):
She went to Fiddle Sticks in Christchurch the other week.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
Excuse me.

Speaker 10 (44:17):
And she really loved it.

Speaker 4 (44:19):
Actually, we were all very impressed. And she was a
big fan.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
Okay, I'm looking at Fiddle Sticks here. It's Christchurch's most
sophisticated yet understated retreat.

Speaker 8 (44:30):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (44:30):
Honestly, so good.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
What do you mean?

Speaker 4 (44:33):
Like roast meals for.

Speaker 5 (44:34):
Under $ 30.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
And they're massive.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
That's a rarity in this modern age, isn't it? Yeah,
that is, isn't it? We have to add that to
the list. Mum would have liked it because of the budget. Yeah,
Mum would have. And the serving sizes. This is a
bit of us, Hon. This is a bit of us, Hon.
That's a bit of us. They've got a loyalty program. Yeah,
that's popped up. That's a bit of you. Oh, that
drink looks delicious. That's a bit of you. We love
a pink drink. We love a pink drink. I'm an ally.
I love a pink drink. They had a few cocktails

(44:58):
on the menu. A chilli mango margarita. There you go.
If Hayley was here, she'd be booking us in immediately.
I'm going to ditch my next question and ask what
mum would have to drink if she got a cocktail.

Speaker 4 (45:10):
If it's like an RTD, it's a raspberry.

Speaker 10 (45:17):
Mango cruiser.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
Do they do a raspberry slash mango cruiser? Or are
you saying those two different flavours that she enjoys? No, no, no.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
Those two together and specifically in a bottle.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
Yep. Of course. She's a classic. She won't do a can.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
No, and then her other one, if, like, we were
out somewhere, if she did drink, because she doesn't often drink,
would be, like, is it a Karuba, the rum and coke?

Speaker 1 (45:45):
Yeah, okay. I was going to say. No wonder she
doesn't drink. She's got to hold herself back. She's a
Karuba girl. Did I have an Angela? I can't believe
I ever used to drink Karuba. Those were the student days, eh?
You bloody mad jacks. You used to hone a dark rum. Yeah,
not anymore.

Speaker 4 (45:59):
Like, she is, though, instead of, like, usually she doesn't drink,
and her drink of choice, nine times out of ten,
is a crisp Coke Zero.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
Oh. A fridge sink.

Speaker 11 (46:09):
Any time of the day.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
A fridge sink. From 10 p.m.

Speaker 10 (46:13):
To 10 p.m.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
Yes. My mother would drink a Coke Zero. Yeah, me too.
Have you got a Karen down there? Have we put
Karen on the list? Yeah, Karen's the first name out there. Always.
I might put an Elizabeth. Okay. Or Liz Slash. Yep.
Liz Slash. Okay, what would you say are mum's hobbies?

Speaker 11 (46:27):
Oh, mum likes to knit and sew.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
She loves to knit.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (46:31):
I've just got an eight-month-old niece, and she's, I tell you,
our wardrobes were full before we even started having children.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
So knitting, and she actually smocks, which is like a
very old thing to do.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
What smocks? I just looked at Shannon because she's our
wool aficionado. Is it smoking while knitting?

Speaker 4 (46:53):
No, not quite. You know when you see babies in those, like,
really fancy, like, puffy-sleeved collar gowns?

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yeah. Those.

Speaker 4 (47:02):
So the thing on the front, the fancy pattern, is
called smocking.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
Smocking. Right. Well, we're learning something here, aren't we, in
the search for mum's name? It's nice. It is. As
the search continues. Was that giving you any names? Yeah,
it gave me a few older names. I've got a Victorian,
a Linda, and a Helen. Oh, yep, okay. I can
imagine a Vicky. Yeah, yeah, she might go with Vicky. Oh, no,
she's Victoria unless she's on the Karubas. Unless she's Vicky.

(47:30):
And my final question is, what kind of car does
Mum drive? I'll put one down for you.

Speaker 11 (47:36):
Mum drives a Honda.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
A Honda. The spectrum of Hondas is huge.

Speaker 4 (47:42):
Sorry, it's like a seven-seater.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Oh, jeez, goodness.

Speaker 4 (47:46):
It's like a dark blue Honda.

Speaker 9 (47:49):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
Dark blue Honda. Dark blue, seven-seater Honda. Is that giving
you anything, Vaughan, for a mum's name? Is that triggering
any names? Maybe a Susan. Or a Suzanne. Maybe a Sue, yeah.
Maybe a Sue. Tell you what, if it's not there,
it's not going to be. Yeah, I feel like we've
really covered the spectrum. All right, well, Emily, now is
the time. Vaughan's going to give you his list of names.
He's got 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name.

(48:13):
If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's
my mum's name. Your time starts now. Karen, Bev, Chris, Patsy, Catherine, Lisa, Rachel, Sarah, Fiona.

Speaker 11 (48:22):
Stop, that's my mum's name.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Which one? Rachel. Rachel. Rachel.

Speaker 8 (48:27):
Mrs.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Rachel Tammy Murch. It was a friend's character. It was.

Speaker 4 (48:32):
It would be Rachel, receptionist lady.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Oh, because everybody's last name is their job. Is their job.
I didn't even ask what she did for a job. Rachel, well,
we've guessed mum's name. That's fantastic. That means you've triggered
the bonus round. The bonus round. While you're on the phone,
I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. It's John.
No question. Well, wait, wait. There's no questions allowed. It's
just a guess. Rachel and John. Hey, R & J

(49:01):
Tammy merch. R & J. R & J. That's their address.
That's what comes on the top letters of their post. Kevin.
What about a Kevin? It's got to be a similar
vintage if mum was born early 70s. It's got to
be like a. Yeah, that's John's bit of a timeless one. Yeah,
it is. um John Kevin Chris I'm stuck on Jay
I'm stuck on Jay it feels it feels John he

(49:23):
might have been a Jonathan oh you think so but
he just goes Johnny Johnny John could it be Rachel
and Ross like friends just saying it won't be it
won't be because we would have felt that yeah you
think so she would have reacted viscerally she would have
reacted viscerally when we were talking about friends before. You're
like a mentalist. You're picking up on cues. I'm picking

(49:43):
up on some cues. That's maybe what's happening in this
entire game. Yeah. I'm not psychically connected to anybody. I'm
just unbeknownst to myself picking up on cues and clues. Yeah,
you're an accidental mentalist.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
Okay, Vaughn, one guess for dad's name. I'm John. Emily,
is your dad's name John?

Speaker 4 (50:00):
No.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
What's your dad's name?

Speaker 7 (50:05):
James.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
James.

Speaker 12 (50:06):
I said James.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
I said James. You heard me say James. Did he
say James? Did you hear him say James? Did you
hear me say James, Emily?

Speaker 8 (50:16):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
Yeah, I did say James. You know what, though?

Speaker 11 (50:18):
Dad's family have.

Speaker 4 (50:21):
It'd be five now, five generations of John. So dad's
got a brother called John.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
Oh, that's probably.

Speaker 4 (50:26):
And then a dad John, then a granddad John, then
a great granddad John, and I've got a cousin John.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
You were probably getting the wrong psychic John, Vaughn.

Speaker 13 (50:32):
I was, I was.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Yeah, because you were getting a psychic channel. That's why
I was so strong. Yeah. That's why John was so strong. Yeah.
Because dad's family's got five generations of Johns.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
So many Johns.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
So many Johns.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
Jay last names as well.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Well, Emily, Tammy Merch, you're a lot of fun today.
You've won $ 100 cash for Better Can Guess Your Mum's Name.
And do join us next time. Weren't moon cups a
flash in the pan? God, everyone was moon cupping this,
moon cupping that. Give me back your good old tampon.
You don't do the merch for the moon cups? No. No,
just the Tammys.

Speaker 4 (51:05):
No, I do adult nappies.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
Okay. Well, I don't need any of those yet. No,
not yet. Well, you are going to the Bruno Mars concert, Vaughan. Yes.
And Olivia. And Olivia Dean. I actually wear a nappy
to Olivia Dean. You've got to get up the front.
The toilet situation might be dire. It might be dire. Well, yeah,
let's get Emily's number just in case we do need
some concert nappies. Emily, Tammy, Birch, it has been our pleasure.

Speaker 2 (51:27):

Speaker 6 (51:30):
Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
Georgia joins us. in studio for this study that I've uncovered.
And I thought this would be great to talk to
you about because do you own any designer items? Oh, darling, yes,
I do. Oh, darling. I remember she came back from
Europe with a Louis Vuitton. A Louis Vuitton.

Speaker 7 (51:47):
I got some Gucci sunnies.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
But that was via Thailand. I came back from Bali
with a Louis Vuitton and a Gucci. No, I lined up.

Speaker 7 (51:56):
And I went into, oh my gosh, what's those big
malls called? I went into a fancy one. And I said,
I went in, met this guy, and he sat us
down at this whole thing to buy my Louis.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
And then I was like, panic. So I left, got
a wine.

Speaker 7 (52:09):
And then I was like, if I go back and
there's a line, I'm not going to get it.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
And I was in the line.

Speaker 7 (52:14):
He saw me, went to the front of the line.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
And I was like, oh, well, I guess I'm buying it.
Because he knew. He had you on the hook. Nothing
like a wine to definitely sell a purchase. How does
this correlate, Fletch? Please tell us about this. A study
has been published that has found that women near ovulation
peak fertility showed a stronger preference for conspicuous, easily recognised

(52:38):
luxury items. Were you ovulating at time of purchase?

Speaker 12 (52:42):
I'm trying to think about this.

Speaker 7 (52:43):
I don't know if I was even caring about that stuff.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
I was trying not to get my period. So they
propose in the study that hormonal changes around ovulation strengthen
the motive to be seen by potential partners with a
luxury item or something fancy.

Speaker 12 (52:59):
I really cannot agree with that.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
But, okay, on the flip side of that, when women
were told that men don't really notice designer brands, the
fertility effect disappeared. Well, that's the thing, because if you
do notice, I just, wank, wanker. Like when someone's carrying
around a $ 5, 000 handbag. Yeah. Is that what you've thought
about me before? Yeah, absolutely. Wanker. What a wanker. If
I see anything like that, like I saw someone at

(53:21):
the weekend with a designer carry-on suitcase. Oh, that's so cool.
I either think wanker or I think it's fake. So
there's no winning.

Speaker 7 (53:30):
No, you can tell if it's fake in what they're
wearing and how they hold themselves.

Speaker 12 (53:35):
You can tell.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Because it's fake if the logos don't line up, eh?
Is that how you tell?

Speaker 9 (53:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (53:39):
Well, some of them have done pretty well, like the
stitching and stuff, but.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
You know what?

Speaker 7 (53:44):
I'm just, any time of that time of month when
I'm ovulating, I will shop. Like, it makes me happy.
So I can totally get this.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
But do you think you're subconsciously doing it because... I
thought ovulation was the.

Speaker 10 (53:55):
Horny.

Speaker 12 (53:56):
Well, it's that too, isn't it?

Speaker 1 (53:57):
Yeah. But I thought you'd go shopping in the... It's
all endorphin boosting. The luteal phase where you need a
bit of a mood boost would be shopping.

Speaker 7 (54:05):
Nah, when you're feeling good, you're like, I've got all the,
you think you're rich?

Speaker 1 (54:08):
You've got all the money in the world? Yeah, feeling
a little bit invincible. So in the study, the effect
only showed up for items that could be seen in public,
not if you had a luxury item that was at
home that nobody else saw. Oh, that's like a massage chair.
That's funny. Isn't that insane? That's why you just always
take it with you.

Speaker 12 (54:27):
Come on, guys.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah, that's literally, so it's insane, right? Yeah, that's pretty
funny though. You know what? Oh, no, I'm not at
the moment.

Speaker 7 (54:35):
But when I am, might come in with a new
Louis or a Gucci.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
But again, we don't notice these things. We're probably thinking,
what a wanker.

Speaker 12 (54:43):
If I'm rocking around with this.

Speaker 1 (54:45):
You would not dare come into this work with that handbag.
It'd be a pile-on.

Speaker 7 (54:49):
I've literally brought it in here before and you didn't
even notice it.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
But again, see, we didn't notice it. Yeah, actually, that's
really sad from you guys. And you spent all that
money on it and we don't notice it.

Speaker 7 (54:58):
Even my husband, Haim, doesn't know. He doesn't understand. I've
got so much. I've girl-messed it. I've worn that bag more.
then it's actually worth any more, you know?

Speaker 1 (55:06):
It's a good thing he doesn't notice.

Speaker 12 (55:09):
To be fair, it's actually under his.

Speaker 7 (55:10):
Name because you can't use your own, like, unless you
own a credit card, you can't put it under someone
else's credit card, so technically.

Speaker 12 (55:16):
The Louis is his, guys.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
It's his. What do you say you put it on
his credit card? Can you not buy a handbag with ash?
I don't have a credit card myself. You can't be trusted.
Absolutely not.

Speaker 7 (55:28):
And so I was like, oh, we'll just chuck it
on the credit card. But you can't not have your
name attached to the credit card you're going to use.
So technically it's his bag because it's under his credit card.

Speaker 1 (55:37):
Yeah, but you're married, so everything's 50-50. So there's a
whole lot of sugar daddies out there with bags on
their name. Pretty much. Interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 2 (55:46):

Speaker 1 (55:49):
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-

(56:10):
Maybe it's Hayley being here that distracts you. Maybe. From
saying the Fact of the Day liner for St. Pierre's.
It could be. She's away today. That's causation and correlation. Yeah, well,
let's see tomorrow when she's back. It's hormone week here
at Fact of the Day. Basically, this came about, I
was reading a story about how it was one of
those classic... Why a woman always called in the office
that men are in control of the air conditioning. And

(56:31):
how it's linked to estrogen and testosterone.

Speaker 10 (56:34):
Right.

Speaker 1 (56:34):
Having an influence on how we react to external temperatures.
et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. I mean, that rings true.
The girls are always cold in the office and we're like,
it's fine. Women don't sweat as much as men. Right.
And like even in all aspects, like workouts and runs
and stuff. Yeah, right. Women have to work a bit
harder to get the same amount of sweat as men.

(56:56):
But today's hormone that we're looking at is oxytocin, not oxycotin.
Which is the pain drug, right? Which is a horrendous
pain drug.

Speaker 8 (57:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
Of the same family, I think. But oxytocin is today's
hormone that we're looking at in Hormones Fact of the Day.
And it's related mostly to yawning is what I looked into.
Because you know how when someone yawns. So if you
heard Fletch yawn or you heard me say yawn and
then you yawn, we've got a connection. Oh, that's really cute.

(57:27):
We've got a connection. Okay. So it comes down. It's
a bonding hormone which is wired into the same brain
circles that handle empathy and social connection. So your brain's
tuned in to mirror the people that it's attached to. Yeah.
And yawns is one of those things. So if you
yawn and people don't yawn back, they don't feel a
connection to you. Because there was that old thing. Oh, George,
you didn't yawn. Wow, Georgia. She's crying. You are yawning

(57:52):
or you're not? She's yawning. Oh, she is. Okay, so
we're connected. We're connected. I was going to say, they're
a bit harsh. Because there was that old thing of
if you yawn and someone doesn't yawn, they're a psychopath
or they lack empathy. Just towards you, apparently.

Speaker 10 (58:04):
Oh, right.

Speaker 1 (58:04):
Other people that they are close to could make them yawn. Yeah, right.
Because they feel that connection to it. That's the oxytocin
doing its thing. It's also, if you've ever had a baby,
you'll know it's the hormone that triggers labour contractions and
the letdown reflex for milk. And you're bonded, and that's
why sometimes women can just hear a baby cry and
start lactating because they've got that bond. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(58:26):
It's all bonded, and it's the letdown and everything. Oxytocin
spikes hard during sex. Okay. And the big O, which
is why it's the cuddle hormone, the love hormone. You
say things to someone that you might not have said
to another person. And other circumstances. Hey, just about those
things we said. I was in the moment. I mean,
I love lots of people. I don't particularly know why

(58:46):
I said that aloud to you on this our first time. Compilating.
Pets use it as well. And there's this really interesting
study about these animals. They studied these prairie voles, which
are like yuck little rodent things, and they're monogamous.

Speaker 3 (59:01):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
They've got a close cousin. The montane vole is not.
They put a receptor in that blocked the oxytocin in
the prairie mole, and they became sloths. Really? Yeah. So
it's like, and they study it in people, and they
say the bond that keeps you going, it's the fading
of the oxytocin. Yeah, yeah. You've got to keep it going.
Could they go the other way and make like cheating

(59:23):
men monogamous? Yeah. With enough of it. Yeah, right. There
was these studies where the dangerous part is people were
inhaling oxytocin, like up the nose, a nasal spray, to
make them more likely to trust strangers with their money.

Speaker 13 (59:37):
What?

Speaker 1 (59:37):
And act more generously because they were like trusting of them.
They felt a connection to them. Oh, wow. So, yeah,
it kind of made them. Well, don't tell criminals about
that study. La-di-da.

Speaker 8 (59:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
Yeah. So today's fact of the day is oxytocin is
a hormone that is for bonding and is responsible for
you yawning when you see someone else yawn because you
feel attached to them. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.
I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Speaker 6 (01:00:13):

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Google Trends search data in New Zealand regarding children's parties.
Birthday parties? Birthday parties. And how it is slowly moving
away from mum up all night doing all the catering
and asparagus rolls and sausage rolls and fairy bread and
everything and just getting a food truck, basically.

Speaker 7 (01:00:31):
What?

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Getting a food truck to rock in. So less about
the kids and more about making it easier for the
parents who, you know, there's a lot of work involved
in a kid's birthday party. I wasn't allowed birthday parties
growing up. We were allowed one when you turn five
and one when you turn 10. And that was it.
And then if you did, they were just bowls of chips, right? Yeah,
bowls of chips. I distinctly remember being told no themes

(01:00:53):
because it was too expensive because mum would have to
go and buy stuff for the themes. No themes.

Speaker 8 (01:00:57):
No themes.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
We got a nice birthday cake, though, because Dad did
cake decorating, so we always got asked what we wanted
our birthday cake to be, and I had some pretty
cool birthday cakes, but no friends around. But it does
seem now like it is more about the parents showing
off for Instagram and... Oh, there's definitely grammable content. Yeah,
for the gram. Definitely grammable content. Like food trucks.

Speaker 11 (01:01:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
That's showing off. That's next level, because they must have
a minimum cost, right? Yeah. Because they'll park up outside, like,
pubs and stuff and go to food truck things and
just crank and be busy. So if they're going to
go to a kid's party, they've got to... That's insane.
They have to be making some money. Yeah, so apparently
that's where it's going is less about the prep.

Speaker 3 (01:01:33):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
And outsourcing the hardware to other people. Yeah, right. Would
never have happened. No, not bad. I don't remember ever
having a themed birthday party. No, no. Producer girlies, producer girlies,
themed birthdays?

Speaker 12 (01:01:47):
Oh my gosh, this was my mum's jam. She loves
a themed party.

Speaker 8 (01:01:51):
And she would make all of my birthday cakes perfect
to that theme. So I had a Grease party one
year because I am a musical theatre nerd and I
love Grease. And my birthday cake that year was Olivia
Newton-John's face.

Speaker 12 (01:02:02):
Oh, incredible.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Like she made it. Wow, okay.

Speaker 8 (01:02:06):
Yeah, painted it with food colouring and all that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
Wow, okay, that's next level. Was there a cake tin
you could go and hire a cake tin to get
the shape of Olivia Newton-John's face? No, mum was doing
that all herself. That's incredible. What were your other themes? Horses. Horses.

Speaker 8 (01:02:20):
Which is ironic because I rode a horse like one time.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Yeah. Glee.

Speaker 8 (01:02:25):
I had a guitar shaped cake for that one. I
had a radio themed birthday.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Oh my God. Of course I did.

Speaker 8 (01:02:31):
And it was like, my mom made a radio, like
a transmitter cake.

Speaker 12 (01:02:35):
And I, I think we did like radio.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
No, like, like, um, transistor radio.

Speaker 12 (01:02:42):
No, like you guys listened back in your day with them.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
Don't shake your hand at me and imply that I
was around for the phonograph.

Speaker 8 (01:02:47):
I was, um, Yeah, just like an OG radio and
it had all the buttons and stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
That's really cool. This is what we wanted to talk
about this morning, seeing as if parents are moving away from,
I don't know, it's just more about the overall party
than it is about the kids. What was your theme
this morning? For your party. For your party as a kid.
And maybe it was real budget. It would be great
if it was budget. Yeah. It would be great if
it was weird too. Remember a few years ago there

(01:03:16):
was that kid that had the Auckland transport themed birthday party? Yes.
Because he loved the buses and the train so much.
And that's the thing. Maybe you're obsessed with something and
your parents made that a theme for your party. Somebody
just messaged us saying our party was primarily based around
what cake we chose out of the New Zealand Women's
Weekly cake book. Yes, the Caterpillar cake. Australian Women's Weekly,

(01:03:38):
is that what it was? Yeah. So if it was,
for example, they said one year we had the ship,
so it was a whole pirate nautical themed one. So
basically whatever the cake was, the party formed around the cake. Okay, well,
0800DARLS at M, we want to take your calls now.
Text us through to the studio, 9696. What was the
theme of your birthday party when you were a kid? Wow. Rebecca,
this was your two-year-old's birthday.

Speaker 11 (01:03:58):
Yeah, she's 10 now, but it was her second birthday.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
Okay. And what, did she request this theme?

Speaker 11 (01:04:05):
Yeah, so her theme was oo-yuck. And at the time,
she was really into, like, YouTube was a bit rogue then.
I don't think there was YouTube kids. And she just watched, like, people, like,
dolls pooing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
Like, it was really weird.

Speaker 8 (01:04:18):
Okay.

Speaker 11 (01:04:19):
And she was obsessed with it. So her theme was,
and she used to be like, ooh, yuck. And all
she wanted to do was like, watch it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
Ooh, yuck. Poop, poop. We've got a thing on the
show here. You smell something bad, you're like, oh, poop. Oh, poop.
What is it? Oh, poop. That's what she was like. Ooh, yuck.
Can't stop watching. Ooh, yuck. Can't stop watching. How does
she feel now as a 10-year-old knowing that her birthday
then was poo?

Speaker 5 (01:04:40):
I actually don't think she knows, so this is going
to be a great walk down memory lane after this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Yeah, let's get some photos. Get the photos out tonight.

Speaker 4 (01:04:46):
Her cake was literally just a brown chocolate cake with icing,
and there was like a $ 2 shop baby doll upside
down on it with chocolate icing on its back.

Speaker 11 (01:04:55):
I just sent a photo through to your Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Oh my God, I love this. Thank you so much.
We'll get that up. That's so brilliant. Rebecca, thank you. Lisa,
what was your theme for your birthday party as a kid?

Speaker 8 (01:05:09):
So I didn't really have a theme, but I remember being,
when I turned eight, I really wanted to go to
kiwifruit land, and that's all I wanted to do.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Is that in Te Puke? Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
I always wanted to go too. They towed the train,
the carriages behind the train fletch. Right. Don't look at
me like that. They were kiwifruit. But were they roller coasters?

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
No. It was just little.

Speaker 4 (01:05:35):
little wobbly mirrors and like, I don't know, I just
remember it being like this mess of kiwi fruit when
you go in there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
Is it still there? Is it still there?

Speaker 6 (01:05:44):
It's still there.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
I think so, but no, the Kiwi Fruit Land's not
still there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
Oh, RIP. Well, maybe they needed a roller coaster. It
sounds like they needed something exciting there. Wow, okay.

Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
We lived in Cambridge, so we had to do like
a good one and a half hour drive.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (01:06:01):
So Dad was a good man.

Speaker 1 (01:06:02):
It's weird what kids get into, eh? They're just obsessed with. Yeah.
We didn't have diagnoses back in the day either. We
were just obsessed with these things. Lisa, thank you. Some
messages in. No, I went on a deep dive on
kiwifruit land. There's something there. There's still the giant kiwifruit,
but I don't know if it's still there. Yeah, because
I've had a photo next to the giant kiwifruit. I
remember that. My three-year-old was obsessed with butter, so we

(01:06:25):
had a butter-themed birthday party, and the cake was just
literally blocks of butter. That would be an expensive one.
That birthday cake is brilliant. The baby with the poo.
We've got to get that one up on the socials.
Very funny. Jesus. My son's fifth birthday party theme was aliens.
His cake was green decorated with M & Ms in

(01:06:47):
the middle. So when you cut it, they poured out
and had alien themed cookies and everything. That's cool. I
think that must be aliens in general, not the horror
movie aliens. For sure. That would be freaky as a kid.
I had a crocodile hunter themed birthday party. Mum hung
hundreds of green streamers from the lounge ceiling. We had
a couple of inflatable boats in the living room with
life-size plush crocodiles and snakes, and my cake was the words, Crikey, mate,

(01:07:08):
that she'd cut out of sponge. What were you saying
the other day? He died... 20 years ago. That's insane. Yeah, September...
Steve Irwin. Yeah, September 4th, was it? Yeah, 20 years.
It's been 20 years? 20 years since that fateful day.

Speaker 8 (01:07:21):
Um.

Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
Somebody else said, I had a fair factor birthday party
as a kid over 20 years ago. We did things
like walk the plank blindfolded over the pool, putting our
hands in bowls of jelly to grab the item, eating
weird foods. I'm not sure who had more fun, my
friends or my parents, for making all the activities up. Yeah,
that would have been a fun birthday party. My son
is obsessed with the Titanic, so for his sixth birthday party,

(01:07:44):
it was Titanic-themed. Paper mache iceberg and his cake was
a Lego Titanic snapped and half-sinking. So someone had to
build the Lego Titanic and then snap it half and
sink it. Amazing. Yeah, he wanted gummy bears floating in
the water as part of the cake to represent the bodies.
I said, that's a step too far. That's grim. That's
when you book a child psychologist.

Speaker 3 (01:08:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:02):
Mother, I'd like gummy bears floating in my cake to
represent the dead bodies. People who drown or died of frostbite.
Make them bloated. Yeah, and some bloated ones, mother, some
bloated ones. And now some half-sunk ones, mother, some half-sunk ones.
My son is a one-year-old, loved a handheld Dyson, so
he got a baby Dyson toy for his birthday. And
his birthday cake was a Dyson's vacuum cleaner. Oh, my God,

(01:08:24):
that is brilliant. Yeah. They do look pretty spacey. Like,
you know, they look pretty cool. They do look like
you could ride them. Futuristic. Ride them in space. Yeah.
Magic even had a magician that had a bird fly
out of his hat and it shattered my sister's head.
It was the best birthday ever. Brilliant. I know a
kid that's having a Bunnings birthday party next weekend because
they love a trip to Bunnings so much. I had

(01:08:48):
a lawnmower. My son had a lawnmower-themed birthday party for
his second birthday. He's obsessed with lawnmowers. Brilliant. Best cake
I've made to date. Amazing. How would you do the handles?
Great question. I'd need some time to think about it.
Are you talking a push mower? I'm talking a push mower.

Speaker 10 (01:09:04):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
How would you do the handles? Would you just make
the handles non-edible and just make some wire? That's a
quitter's way. That's a quitter's. Everything on a cake, to me,
everything on a cake should be edible. I don't even
like when they use doweling to hold the layers together.
But you'd need the structure. I'd rather there was a
lack of structural integrity and just be able to slam
my face into a cake. I don't want to slam
my face into a cake and be blinded by two

(01:09:25):
dowel pipes. Yeah. As a wire? Yeah, fair call. You
don't want to bite into the handle and eat some
wire either. What would be hard enough to... Well, 9696,
if you're a cake decorator, how... What would you use
to make an edible lawnmower handle? Entirely edible. Those wafer
things that you have at Christmas wouldn't be strong enough
or long enough. No. You might just have to go like...
They're going to be at a 45 degree angle. How

(01:09:46):
are they going to hold? We're going to need some strength.
Good Lord. There's going to have to be some internal wire.
I'm sorry. My son had a pack and save themed
birthday party for his birthday. Amazing.

Speaker 9 (01:09:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
I mean, you could literally just get a pack and
save mud cake. Yeah, and draw a stick man on it.

Speaker 8 (01:10:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
It's very easy to draw that. Very easy. Even I
could do that. Make everything yellow. Yeah. Easy. Abby puts
forth the idea of making the handle out of moldable
Rice Krispie. Yes, okay, but is it going to structurally
hold up at a 45 degree angle? I don't know
if it will. Licorice long rolls with the handles. Stephen,
somebody else said licorice straps around barbecue skewers. No, no,

(01:10:20):
around barbecue skewers. What about those RJ's logs that you
buy in a single log? They might be long enough.
Bend on the 45. No, but they're full of chocolate, Vaughn. Oh,
the hard ones. You could freeze them. You'd have to
have that cake out of the freezer ready to go.
And then immediately once the kid blows out the candle, say, quick,
eat the handle before it goes floppy. You could make

(01:10:42):
it out of chocolate. I think if you set the chocolate,
it would go hard enough to hold itself up. You'd
have to have a very deep into the lawnmower cake. Okay,
there's another kid that's had a poo birthday. Somebody else
said candy canes with a handle on it. Candy canes.
Great idea. So that's actually all edible, but wildly different softness.

(01:11:02):
Is there another poo cake? A listener has sent in
another kid with a poo cake. Emoji poo. You've got
to supervise your children when they're on. You've got to
supervise these kids when they're watching bloody YouTube.

Speaker 2 (01:11:14):

Speaker 6 (01:11:18):

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Hello, special guest. It's a stuffed toy. Guys, it can't speak. Guys,
it can't speak. It's a stuffed toy. It's a stuffed
toy of a little spotted kiwi known as Pukupuku. And
it is running for bird of the year. And our
good friends at Real NZ are taking it on a
road trip from the top down to Dusky Sound where
there's an island called Cooper Island. Yep. Always wonder if

(01:11:45):
it's two O's or two P's. Copper Island or Cooper Island.
It's Cooper Island. And they're trying to reestablish a wild
population there of the little spotted kiwi. And that is
why they're throwing their weight behind. Yes. And we are
also throwing our weight behind for bird of the year, the...
Puku puku. Yeah. Little spotted kiwi. Little puku. He's cute.

(01:12:07):
They've done a great job. I've actually volunteered after the
show today, we'll be taking puku to Hamilton. Okay, fantastic.
Because we've had, ethically, Kate has popped in this morning
to our studio via public transport from the hub. All
the way in with the crate.

Speaker 9 (01:12:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
Because Little Porky's got a cute little crate. Yeah. You
can see this photo. It isn't very cool. The crate's cool.
It's very cool. It's like there's a dinosaur inside. Because
they've got the holes in the side, but the holes
aren't just drilled holes. They're shaped, it looks like.

Speaker 8 (01:12:35):
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:35):
It's very cute. You can see a photo on our Instagram, FVHZM.
So Kate's dropped it off this morning to our studio.
We're going to take it in Hamilton to the Duck
Island store.

Speaker 10 (01:12:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:47):
Duck Island is ice cream.

Speaker 4 (01:12:48):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
And I'll be getting one of my favorite. delicious ice
cream sandwiches while I'm there. I think it would be
selfish of us not to.

Speaker 4 (01:12:55):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:12:56):
As a lunchtime treat. Because by the time we get there,
it'll be pretty close to lunchtime. Yep. And then there's
a bunch of Kiwis that have volunteered to get this
little poko. Yep. Tamatea Dusky Sound, where that island is
that's going to see a wild population re-established, hopefully. Yeah.
And you can vote at birdoftheyear.org.nz. Voting closes on September 20,

(01:13:17):
so there's not many days left to vote. And, yeah,
I mean, come on. It's cute. It's cute. It's cute
as all hell. Cute as all hell. Who's driving? I am.
I don't know what car we're taking because I don't
have much gas.

Speaker 9 (01:13:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
I mean, I'm happy to take the car, but we're
going to need to see a fuel card. I don't
have any gas. Today's my fill-up day, coincidentally. If we
have to take the car, we're going to have.

Speaker 6 (01:13:45):
To fill up, which is not a problem.

Speaker 1 (01:13:49):
There's a study that's looked at dating, and apparently it's
GNCs who are the worst at this. They're pretending to
have more money Oh. Than they actually do because they're
saying on dates, yeah, I'm well off. All right. I'm
doing all right. And they're spending more money. And they're
saying that dating is the reason they're doing this. 17%
say they've taken out debt or hurt their credit score

(01:14:12):
by buying a gift or spending money on dates.

Speaker 8 (01:14:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
To impress. Yeah. But then where does it end? A
financial ruin. A financial ruin and a relationship built on lies.
I mean, you're just starting the bar high if you're
going to wine and dine and do expensive gifts, right? Yeah,
start low. Start low. Start low. Start low. Turn up, like,

(01:14:37):
late and be like, car's broken down, it's a real
piece of shit. Like, get them to fall in love
with the real you. GNZ producer Girlies. Hello. Did you ever,
when you were dating, find the pressure? yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:14:51):
When I was mainly dating I knew I was about
to start my internship so I knew I was moving
from Christchurch but didn't know where and I definitely kept
that on the DL of just.

Speaker 12 (01:15:00):
Like this is a great out for me like.

Speaker 8 (01:15:02):
Oh no I'm moving and like I knew I was
moving but I just kept that on the DL of
like oh no this can only be a short affair
yeah but.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
You never you never spent money and went all flashy
to impress someone with.

Speaker 12 (01:15:14):
I hate to say it, Fletch, I don't pay for things.

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
No, she doesn't pay for things. Look at her. I
don't pay for anything. Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:15:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:15:20):
I used to have someone who paid my rent. I wasn't,
you know.

Speaker 1 (01:15:25):
This is before we knew her. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:15:28):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
I don't think I've ever been hot enough that someone's
paid for anything. Let alone my rent. God, not my mortgage. Yeah.
I'm a minger. I couldn't have.

Speaker 12 (01:15:39):
It was a different time.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
Also, obviously, has had heaps paid for you.

Speaker 8 (01:15:43):
Yeah, I mean, look, my fiancé, he earns quite a
bit more than me.

Speaker 12 (01:15:49):
Patriarchy, man.

Speaker 6 (01:15:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15:53):
I mean, he's a bit older as well. He's been
in the biz a bit longer. How old is he, 50? Yeah.
Wilder things have happened.

Speaker 8 (01:16:03):
Yeah, he definitely, like, I was definitely, like, at first
struggling to keep up a little bit with, like, the
nice restaurants he'd want to go to and stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:16:09):
He loves a Michelin. He loves a Michelin. I mean,
we all love a Michelin, darling. Whether or not we
ever go to one. Wow.

Speaker 10 (01:16:18):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
Ooh la la. Just the plates are too small, aren't they?
You need more. You just need more food. Yeah. More food.
Stop it. Mac is on the way home. This is
what we want to know this morning. What did you
lie about on a date? Maybe to impress someone. Maybe
you said, yeah, I love mountain biking. Yeah. And then
you fell off and you broke everything. Now you're at

(01:16:38):
mountain biking every weekend. I love fishing. Now you have
to go, stand there? Little lies. Sit there for hours?
Little first date lies. Well, some calls. Let's go to
Taylor first. Taylor, what did you lie about?

Speaker 13 (01:16:54):
Um, I didn't really lie. I just, um, pretty much
didn't tell people that I snore.

Speaker 1 (01:17:00):
Oh, the snoring tailor. Snoring tailor. Snoring tailor. I was
thinking of you at the weekend because apparently I nodded
off during, um, Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers,
and apparently I was snoring up a storm. Now I
don't usually snore.

Speaker 13 (01:17:11):
Uh, well, yeah, it's, um, mine's a bit of an issue, but,
Are you still happy?

Speaker 1 (01:17:17):
You'd found sort of, I don't want to say love
because I don't know if we're there yet, but you'd
found a relationship last time we were talking to you.

Speaker 13 (01:17:24):
Yeah, I'm pretty happy at the moment.

Speaker 1 (01:17:26):
Oh, fantastic. And are they okay with the snoring?

Speaker 13 (01:17:30):
Yeah, like I did say like, look, I know that
I snore. Are you actually getting sleep? And then they
turn around and they're like, yeah, like when you're snoring,
at least I know that you're alive.

Speaker 1 (01:17:45):
Oh, that's a bit cute. That's true. That's cute. That
will wear off. Yeah. But you can get the custody.
I'm waiting for that moment. But so you just excluded,
technically you didn't lie on a first date. You just
excluded the fact that you are a chronic snorer. Yeah.
I mean, they're going to find out either way. Yeah. Well,
it seems to be going all right, so. Yeah, you

(01:18:07):
can always get the custom earplugs. I've got the custom earplugs.
They mould them. They're great. God, they're going to.

Speaker 13 (01:18:12):
Need some very powerful bloody earmuffs, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:18:16):
Yeah. You can still hear the vibration of a good snore, though.
You can see it. Yeah, through the mattress. That's true. Taylor,
thank you. Let's go. I hope it all remains good
for you. Anonymous joins us. Anonymous, what did you lie
about on a first date?

Speaker 3 (01:18:31):
Hi, guys.

Speaker 5 (01:18:33):
I lived in Melbourne at the time, and there's a
beautiful botanic gardens in Melbourne, and I told my Tinder
date that I used to run around it three times
a week, but I'd never even been to the gardens,
let alone go for a run around it.

Speaker 1 (01:18:49):
And then did you go on this date and then
did he make you go for a run?

Speaker 5 (01:18:54):
I think he probably called that I was lying quite
quickly because I didn't really have the rig of a runner.

Speaker 12 (01:18:59):
So....

Speaker 1 (01:19:02):
He didn't have runner's rig. He didn't have runner's rig. Yeah. No. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:19:06):
I think he could kind of tell that that one
had maybe been a little bit fabricated.

Speaker 1 (01:19:10):
How did it go?

Speaker 11 (01:19:11):
Well, we're married now.

Speaker 6 (01:19:12):
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 (01:19:14):
Okay. A nice healthy relationship built on a foundation of lies.

Speaker 11 (01:19:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:19:18):
Does he still do his running? No.

Speaker 5 (01:19:23):
He does still quite like to bring up the fact
that I did lie about it though.

Speaker 1 (01:19:26):
Right. Does he have a runner's rig now or is
that gone?

Speaker 11 (01:19:29):
No, no, shit no.

Speaker 1 (01:19:31):
Oh, sorry. I don't know if we need it. Excuse me,
are these listening? He didn't need a shit no. He
just needed a no, not quite. Well, it sounds like
you might need a runner in the gardens. But I
still love him anyway. Yeah, exactly. Anonymous, thank you so much. Grace,
what lie did you tell on a first date?

Speaker 10 (01:19:48):
So, good morning, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:19:50):
Good morning.

Speaker 10 (01:19:51):
Long-time listener, first-time caller.

Speaker 1 (01:19:53):
Oh, where's the bell? There we go. We've got the bell. Grace,
welcome to the show. It's lovely to have you. It's
taken you too long, Grace, but here we are. Thank you.
We forgive you.

Speaker 10 (01:20:02):
So, I told my now husband on our first date
that I loved skiing and that I was really good
at skiing.

Speaker 1 (01:20:09):
Yep.

Speaker 10 (01:20:10):
Which I was not.

Speaker 1 (01:20:11):
I haven't skied.

Speaker 10 (01:20:12):
Since I was maybe six.

Speaker 1 (01:20:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:20:16):
So on the subsequent dates that he took me skiing,
because I loved it so much and I was so
good at it. And he took me to the top
of the mountain. And he's like, he jumped off first
and started skiing ahead of me. And I was like, oh, shit.
And so basically I started ugly crying and I took
off my skis and walked down this mountain, convinced myself

(01:20:39):
that he was going to break out with me. But yeah,
we've been together 13 years now.

Speaker 1 (01:20:44):
Oh! Well, you must be hot. You must be hot, Grace,
if he, you know. Yeah. Do you go skiing now? Yes,
we do.

Speaker 10 (01:20:52):
We do skiing now with our kids as well.

Speaker 8 (01:20:55):
Oh! Um.

Speaker 3 (01:20:56):
Yeah, so that.

Speaker 10 (01:20:57):
Kind of worked to my benefit. But, yeah, he didn't
let me forget it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:00):
And, yeah. I would have jumped back on the chairlift
and been like, where were you? Yeah. Dude, I went
down the black diamond run and everything. Where are you?
I thought you said you could do this. That's so good. Awesome. Thanks, guys.
At least you're skiing now. Can I just get Grace
back on the phone? How did you find your first

(01:21:21):
time with us? Wait, are we doing a customer satisfaction?
Just a little bit. Sorry, Grace, we're just doing a
customer feedback. You pressed the hash key at the end
of the call, which leads us now to our two,
just a simple two question. Okay. How did you find
your first time on the show?

Speaker 10 (01:21:35):
I did really great. Attentive response.

Speaker 1 (01:21:37):
Yep. Thank you.

Speaker 10 (01:21:38):
Quick action.

Speaker 1 (01:21:39):
Yep.

Speaker 10 (01:21:40):
Fly and... A little very great experience.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
Right. And would you recommend our banking services to friends
or family?

Speaker 10 (01:21:47):
Yes, 10 out of 10. Fantastic. If you give me
more of a discount on my mortgage.

Speaker 1 (01:21:52):
Yes. Thank you. That's someone that said a few of
those calls at the end. Thank you. You said this
was only going to take 10 seconds. It took longer.
It took so much longer. Grace, thank you. Some messages in.
No shortage of people telling lies. I claimed I didn't
really like to drink. after the date ended I went

(01:22:13):
home and demolished a bottle of wine solo I do
love to drink so I don't really like to drink
I said I don't gamble because apparently that was a
big thing did they know I had quite a hefty
bet on the Warriors match that was happening as our
date started yeah okay Um, someone said, I do love

(01:22:34):
to travel. Um, and then they asked me where I
like to travel. I said, um, one time I went
out to Raglan on a whim. I live in Hamilton.
Love traveling. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Um, said I had a, okay,
this was quite cute. He said he had a property
portfolio and I'd show him if he wanted, if I wanted.
And I didn't really, but then curiosity got the better
of me. I said, Oh, I'll see your property portfolio.

(01:22:55):
And he was playing online monopoly. And he's like, I've
got the big, I've got the dark blue ones.

Speaker 10 (01:22:59):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:22:59):
It was a joke though. It was a joke. Okay.
Cute little man. Good joke.

Speaker 6 (01:23:03):
Play that ends Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley.

Speaker 9 (01:23:05):
Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley Silly little po Silly little po
It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little
po Silly little po Silly little po Silly.

Speaker 1 (01:23:20):
Little po Today's silly little poll is what do you
consider long haul? How many hours is a long haul flight?
This comes about an influence online who's a Kiwi and
she does lots of traveling. I said that all of
the people that she knows and do the same sort

(01:23:41):
of work with her. I said that they consider a
four hour flight a long haul flight. She's like. Four
hours to get you there. How long was it to
Brisbane at the weekend? Four hours? Three and a bit.
Three and a half, three. It can be three. You know,
to be a Kiwi, I consider a long-haul flight 12.
It blows people's minds overseas when they say, like, oh,
how long did it take you to get here? And

(01:24:02):
you're literally, like, over a day.

Speaker 6 (01:24:03):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:24:04):
Like, you cannot do it. Yeah. I think the quickest
you can do it might be, like, 24. six, 25
hours to Europe.

Speaker 9 (01:24:11):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:24:12):
If you go to Europe. So you can get direct
to Los Angeles in like 12, eh? And Thailand's 12
or 13, Bali's 12. Yeah, and then it's still, then
it's another 10 with the layover. It's 24 hours, basically.
It's all go. So for Celia Pohl, how many hours
do you consider a long-haul flight to be? Six to
nine hours, nine to 12, 12 to 15 or 15 plus?

(01:24:33):
Nine to 12 was the most popular response. 53% of
people consider a nine to 12 hour flight to be
the beginnings of long haul. Uh, 12 to 15 was second. 23%
of people thought it needed to be 12 to 15
hours long. 7% 15 hours plus a six to nine, 17%
of people thought that was long enough to qualify it. Industry.
The ICAO, uh, says anything from six to 16. And

(01:24:58):
then anything around the 16 to 17 is ultra long haul.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:25:02):
But then six, that's mid haul, isn't it? Well, Rachel
messaged in, my boyfriend is a pilot in the UK
and they have two types of contracts. Six hours and
less is called short haul and seven hours plus is
long haul. Yeah, okay. So that's the official, like, their
definition of it. Yeah. Amber, I've never been on a
flight longer than four hours, so it all seems like
forever to me. Mason, 12 plus, because that's half my

(01:25:26):
day gone, and I usually get a lot done in
a day.

Speaker 9 (01:25:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:25:29):
So I'd consider it long. Like, the flight to New York,
I've done the Doha flight a couple of times. It's 16,
17 hours. 17 hours to New York ain't nonstop. Well,
it can be, depending on the winds. It's normally longer
coming back. But, yeah, it's a long time. Like, even
if you sleep, For six, seven, eight hours. Yeah, still
a lot of time. Still a lot of awake time.
Courtney said, guys, we live at the bottom of the world.
Anything past Australia is long haul. Yeah. None of the above.

(01:25:52):
Four hours is long haul because at four hours puts
you at greater risk of developing blood clots. I have
a blood clotting disorder and I have to get up
and move around in every hour.

Speaker 8 (01:25:59):
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 (01:26:00):
And anything over four hours requires a much stronger dosage
of my anticoagulant medication. Goodness. Says Pip. It sounds like
an excuse for business class, doesn't it? Or the exit row.
A lovely petition. And as someone who has had the
deep vein thrombosis, remember that? Yeah, I do. It's pretty
scary stuff. You've got to move. Tanya said anything longer

(01:26:21):
than three hours, TBH. Feels like a long time on
a plane. Yeah. Renee, anything longer than half a day,
I reckon. Trippy, when I left Auckland at 7.25 and
landed at New York at 7.35 the same day. I
know I love that. It's worse coming back and you
lose a whole day. Lose it all. I remember that
time I lost my whole birthday.

Speaker 4 (01:26:38):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:26:39):
And it didn't exist. I didn't feel sorry for you
because you were coming back from travelling internationally. Yeah, Brazil. Yeah, yeah.
Terrible day. Terrible day for me. Terrible day. Leaving Brazil
and missing a birthday. Terrible day. Poor guy. Terrible day.
Poor guy. How do you get by? How does the
depression not sunk in? Kristen says depends do I have
small children with me or am I travelling by myself
no avoid that at all costs if I'm shitting on

(01:27:02):
a plane or my guts start to rumble near the
last bit of the flight that's when I consider it
a long haul flight do you know I think I've
hardly ever done that as much as I've flown I've
had that thing where you get on a plane and
you just clench up travel guts yeah and you just
don't shut the shop yeah that's weird Brian says six
to nine nice Just an excuse there for a bit

(01:27:22):
of a 69 joke there from Briar. So, for still
a little poll, we asked you how many hours you
consider to be a long-haul flight. The majority of you
thought 9 to 12.

Speaker 12 (01:27:31):
Is that the podcast done? Because I'm busting for a poos.

Speaker 1 (01:27:34):
Busting for a poos. Jesus.

Speaker 10 (01:27:37):
Give us a review.

Speaker 1 (01:27:38):
Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

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Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 7th September 2026

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 7th September 2026