February 9, 2026 • 23 mins
On the podcast today the guys talk about avocados, and how they're either fantastic or very disappointing.
Plus we talk about weddings, and haka in the snow.
Ka mate!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio
show The Hurdaki Breakfast Podcast, not on me.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Screw gone at home, I've got a few at home.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Jeez, okay, producing with your screwdriver multiple What what are
we talking?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Phillips said, chrome toolkit.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
This Phillips hit it was actually my toolk it at
home as a super cheap auto one because I got
given one hundred dollar a super cheap auto voucher and
I need to talk it now. So I got one.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Let me ask you a question as a radio show producer,
did you get given a one hundred dollars voucher from
or did one go missing out of the promo department? Huh?
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Look if one went missing, huh. I'm going to say
it was a present from my brother in law. So
my wife's brother gave me that for my birthday.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Okay, that seems legit. Yeah, does seem legit.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Well he's an idiot because you could have just grabbed
aou are you Well, yeah, saved everyone's money.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
You're calling Brendan an idiot.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Yep. Yeah, Brendan's an idiot because you could have just
stolen it, because you could have just put your own
you could have put a pseudonym into the system and
awarded it to yourself, like for example, if your name
was something like Joe, you could call yourself Jose, you know.
And if your last name was something like Jury, you
could call your last name Derito. Right, this seems very specific.
And claim that you're a doctor and then award prizes
(01:23):
that you want to doctor Jose Dorito's.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yeah, that's a good one. I used to send prizes
to my brother. Oh he's got the same.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
So that's way too easy to catch them, Jose Doritos.
Look behind the curtain. There wasn't it when Matt Wood
used to work here, Marty Wood won a lot of prizes,
a lot of prizes. Really, Mary would, yeah, Manuel Lestevan
also Marty would.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
That's the name that would ring alarm bells with me
as soon as I saw Marty wouldn't be knowing use
Mary Wood's up to something.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Well, luckily you never did the audits of the prize system.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
I wanted to raise something with you, guy, So it
was very disappointed. Man last night.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
YEP.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Probably about four or five days ago, I bought these
beautiful avocados, beautiful bulbous, big avocados.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yes, just oh, snowhoker. Sorry, that's right. We've got a snowhoker.
Never never quite looks right, does it? Congratulations, zoe said,
ASKI sier, she's got silver. You don't see a lot
of people that look like me on the side of
the mountain. It's a real South Islander. There's a lot
of mana going on there and a big curre to them.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Sorry, no, that's all right. It is actually a fascinating
watch the snowhacker.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
There's nowhere to hide, there's no.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Look at it, Carrie, I can't want to look at it.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
If Zoey has to watch this, you have to watch it. Okay,
I can't watch She's like, fuck, this sucks?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Is that what she's thinking?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
It on the right story? He really, he really made up.
She's stuck. Actually he really made up for it. Was
like if you took the back of the all blacks
sucker where all the locks are hiding? Is so bad?
Or is she crying because it was good? I think
she's trying to stow herself from laughing. I know les
and I know less guns on her LESBI getting under
(03:15):
the armwork lately.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
You can tell she just flicks as well. Yeah, yeah,
she's doing the hand movements anyway.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Avocado's sorry, Yes, I'm going to listen to you, but
I'm going to look at less. Okay, So avocados.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
You've got some bulbous avocados, beautiful bulbous avocados, just just.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Coming into the green out of the green side and
to the sort of dark purple side.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
And I'm like, here we go, here we go. Fucking
Dad's got some avocados coming.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Probably, I know it probably late. Again, you've done. I appreciate.
Dad's gonna bring it home.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
And no, because dad has figured out how to make
beautiful sushi. And my son is obsessed with the avocado sushi.
So he's like, fuck your dad. I love when you
make the avocado.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
So you rolling that s You rolling that sushi?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Got a sushizi, bro, what's a sushi? Have you a
packet with the rice? The sushi they would pack it
with the rice is plastic, Yeah it is. It's not
one of those wooden things that you're roll. No, I've
got that as well, that as well, but you've got
to rot. You put it in a roll. It's like
a toilet paper roll. But you pack it with rice,
(04:23):
and then you pack it with the ingredients, and then
you close it up and you screw that thing up
and it turns into its beautiful tube, and you've just
got to get it on.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
That Seaweki the Mayor bus.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
And oh man, I was looking forward to some sushizy actions,
but unfortunately on Sunday I could see light brown, light
brown spots and the start on the avocado, and I was.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Like, I thought, have you opened it up by the stage?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
No, no, I could. They were so evident though, what.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You mean on the outside, On the outside.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
The light brown, the light brown spots that there had
been some damage to the avocados, And I thought, how much.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Did I pay?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Would you give them?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
It was from a fruit and bread shop near where
I live, and from not from starts with b borock Borrock.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
No, it wasn't. It was the one that's up.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Towards Fred Taylor drive with the.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Yeah back up that way often disappointed.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, box is good. They are. They are really good.
Quite expensive though is that their tagline often disappointing.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
The problem with me though, I was far too cheap
and I walk in there, I'm like, too expensive, Yeah,
I only go in there when the bluebes or the
strawbs are on special.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Apart from that, but surely you'd run out the apples
would surely at this time be the same everywhere.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Nah, not at Barock mate. Anyway, you can.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Probably figure out the rest. Bloody. The spots started.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Coming up, and I opened up and I was like,
I'm gonna I'm gonna try it. Maybe it'll be all right.
And you know, when yeh sliced the everdo around the
side to twist it open. When I twisted that thing,
the skin just fell off because the avocado was so rotten.
Just okay, the skin just fell off.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
That's right up there with when you cut that sucker open,
and it's basically all pepper. You know what I learned
I speaking of Sushisi the Mad Bastard. On the way
back from the Blacklash, I went round to the home
of marm Parkesey because we can't pulled back, and they've
(06:34):
got an avocado or so we went and picked up avocados.
The trees are groaning with fruit and they're big bastards.
And I learned that apparently from Kesey. The Mad Bastard's dead,
whose name is John Key, the right honorable John Key.
(06:54):
I learned from him that they they artificially ripened the
ones that you buy in the supermarkets and the produce stores.
They use a gas Yeah, it's so that they can
control the flow of stocks, that there's always stock that's
at the right level of ripeness to be sold, whereas
if you let it ripen naturally, it lasts way longer.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, because we had one, we had an avocado tree
at home, bloody you know, rip And unfortunately, when we
did some renos, the dude and the digger came over
and we put a little mark on all the trees
that we wanted them to get rid of, and definitely
did not put a mark on the avocado tree because
that thing was that.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Thing, man, that's worth.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
That's worth in our family, the amount of avocados we
go through, and I'd say we go through to or
three hundred a year, yeah, well one hundred and something.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, a couple of week.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
And he got rid of that thing. And I got
to say, I've seen Tossy angry maybe a handful of
times in my life. This is not an angry person.
But I was having to talk her down from a
cliff there she wanted to have a go at the
bloody degger driver. It's just made a mistake here, let's
just and she's like, yeah, but that tree has been
(08:08):
growing for thirty years.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
And don't they take ages to get to maturity? Take
a while?
Speaker 3 (08:13):
And this thing because you leave the avocados on the
tree and they don't ripen until you take them.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Till they fall off.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Yeah, And so it's essentially like having a fridge, a tree, fridge,
a pantry.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's so good.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
They are amazing, like they're amazing things. In fact, cornicopia
spell that I went. I went to a house not
long ago, awesome and doors, windows and blockhouse bay and
it was one of the houses, one of a number
of state houses that were built in the nineteen fifties,
and they planted fruit trees. In those days. They used
(08:45):
to plant fruit trees in the back of the state houses,
which is a great call. There used to be a
country and one of them had had an avocado bloody
tree planted in the back of that in the house.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
It was huge and it was laid in full of
those groaning I was like, what a great idea that is.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Way anyway, So it was a real shame because they
were not big ones either. They were little ones, but
they were really creamy and yummy.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Fucking lottery the avocado. Yeah, they're a fucking lottery.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
It's so good when you get a good one, but
hurts when you get like the ones I got the
other day or used today. After I got the stupid
skin ripped off it, I was looked at it and
I scraped, scraped for my fucking life. And I looked
and I was like, it's green. I think that, I
think there could be and you know it's gather.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
It was no.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
We feisched the mother first and then the kids came. Mother,
come here, mother, mother, missus ruder, missus hiding out.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
She's always in the kitchen, missus d.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
No, I'm always in the kitchen. And yeah, it was
one of those things where the avocado not only stringy. Oh,
I give me, oh st stringy. And that's when I've
got that smoky taste, you know what I mean. The
smoky taste.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Man, when you get those, when you get those keesy specials, man,
they taste because often when you get them from the soupie,
they don't taste like anything. There's none more of a
texture play than a taste. But when you get man,
the taste of them hard to go. Yeah, but that's
oh no, another snow huger number two? Or is this
(10:27):
a replay of the initial.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Snow on the left that I'm taking the blondie on
the left. It's like, excuse me, you're blondie on the left?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
She she is going through one and two and one
and two and a hit. She's practiced for this. Now,
if that's who's who they've decided has to go up
the front of this hucker, imagine what's going on at
the back. That guy's covered his entire face. Is some
embarrassed by what's going the backpack?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I won't be involved in that back person, you're ruining
the harker.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
I'm sure this isn't a second one.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Now, hold on, I think it is. I think this
could be a second Now. What I want to know
is is this the world's first ever harker performed on
snow with a backpack on?
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Crying again? Lasa is crying again?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Fuck is crying? The secret to having jacked arms less?
God damn, could she send me the bloody workout program avocados.
That's the trick of those arms.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
So when you invite her to your wedding minight, Lass,
she should be a great MC. Note to self, No
One Puladinum, prompt you harker because she will be on
the ground.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Jeremy Wells and Manaia Stuart find them on Instagram at
Hidarki Breakfast. Jerry and Mania joined the conflict the Hidarki
Breakfast discussion group on Facebook for more.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
I went to Less's wedding and Jason Gunn was the MC.
Did he do Sure, he didn't, but he did impersonations
and I got to say, if you want to.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
MC, yeah, Jason Gunn, Oh my god, he was unbelievably good.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
He was like I've never seen as MC you have
ever seen at like unbelievable. And because he's mates with
Laz and Las's family growing up in christ Church, and
he's known Laura since.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
She was a kid.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
She's still very young. He was obviously she hears listeners.
He close to the family and knew a whole lot
of stories. He was coming in with personal stories. You
know that you don't want that guy to sit down.
To his credit, he didn't steal the limelight. He was
just punching.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
He was so good thing because I get do you
get us to m C weddings all the time.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I have him seed a few in my time. But
to be honest with old so we're all were we
second time around and most people just hiding those weddings.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, that's a good point. I get us all the time.
I don't like doing it. I don't want to do it.
I just want to be at the wedding, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Yeah, But look, I know how you feel about it,
and I'm executive. I was executed the same, particularly at
your age. And now you get to a point like
it's you know what, though, you stand up there and
you sit down and you watch someone butcher that holy
them is a crucial right because you can keep things moving.
And if you're good like you, you've already got enough
attention in your life. I don't need no, So you'll
(13:14):
keep things moving along. Won't make it about you, but
you'll you'll be funny moments. So you got to just
do it just for the benefit of yourself, because otherwise
you're going to.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Watch someone butcher. It just it just feels like work.
It honestly feels like if you're an electrician and I
invite you to my wedding, I'm like, can you fucking
run a line of fluorescent lights? You can do that.
You could do that asleep. You could definitely do it first.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
No problems asked, bloody sing at weddings. Yeah, I've only
had one ask for a winning Yeah it was your own.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
No, it was my yourself, and you declined it was
my ex brother in law's winning X brother in law brother.
Did you marry your brother in law?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
No? No so X you guys not together anymore. X
wife's brother. Yeah, asked me to be the m sed
as winning and.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
So reasonably yeah post divorce. Yeah, oh no, no, no, no,
I made.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
An inappropriate joke about the age difference between the bride
and the groom.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Oh you did it? Yeah, yeah, they're all quite Damn,
she's so young. She must have been.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
I don't know what you can watch watch you can't.
Well both. You shouldn't have even seed it firstly. Secondly,
you shouldn't be making an inappropriate age joke as the
MC's first.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
But it's on the MC's job. It's not the twenty
first man. Me and my mates sat down for one
of the weddings that I m seed, and we sat
down the night before and went over our notes, me
and the best man, and we sat there and we
were laughing our asses off, and then we went quiet
for a couple of seconds, and we can't read any
of the ship tomorrow? Can we late scratching of the
(14:56):
entire speech? Yeah, it was. It was the night before
and we had a skinful. We're like, fuck, it's not
as twenty first. You know, his family's there, as mum's
sitting there. This is supposed to be his big day.
And we'll remember when you fucked all the pans in
the flat because he burned everything. That's not really Yeah,
there's a way to do it, and we missed the mark,
so we self edited and we decided not to.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
It's a difficult one sometimes to get that right, and
amongst a whole lot of parents.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Tones hard to get.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
You can say stuff though that people get without. You
can sometimes a little bit of a nod, a little
bit of a wink certain stuff. So some people get
it and then the oldies don't get it.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
That's that's the way to do it. That's a good laugh.
If you get it. Yeah, if you were there, you'll know,
you'll know if all I have to do is mention
her name, you know, and then all the boys will laugh.
No one else needs to know, and I would I
would implore the mother of the groom not to inquire
about that. No, definitely not.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
But a good a good best man's speech and a
good MC at a wedding really do make the wedding.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I've only been asked to do one best man's speech
and I fucking flattened the room. The best speech you've
ever given. Good. Yeah, And I don't know why they
did it this way. But then they go, does anyone
else want to have a yah after? Honestly? Like, I
don't like to blow my own trumpet. But it was
a lot of fun, you know, you get a few laughs.
(16:14):
There were a few tears. There's hurting and hollering like
I brought the room down. And then they go, all right, sweet, well,
if any no one else wants to go, we'll get
on with things. One of the uncles goes, oh, actually
I got you. Oh yeah, you go after that so flat, dude.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Ah, it was about I don't like the opening up
to the floor things. I got to say, I've never
seen it work, don't You'll get a couple of okay.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Ones, but the idea of who else wants it. It's
like no, no, no, no, no, no no, you're not
about to stand up and just crash it like on
something you just thought of. Now for me, this should
be you go mc.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Hammer, father of the groom, father of the bride, best groom.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Oh yeah, well, uh do you go to grooms man bride?
There five that's a lot of speeches. Rudy, you've been
married heaps. What what order did you go?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
I can't remember that. It probably went differently.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
There was father of the bride, father.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Of the groom, not mother of the groom, definitely not
mother of the bride. Had one really yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Normally you just go one from one from the parents.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
The first one, the other mother.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Evening.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Now that's the first definitely the best man one. Someone
forgot to think the bridesmaids and that turned into a
fucking thing, and then someone else said to go by
the way, really beautiful Today, I reckon I could do
every bridesmaid's speech either.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
It's the same as every twenty first speech. When I
first met Sarah, we didn't get along, but but through
the years, but through the years we got to know
each other better and then we became best breads and
sorry Sarah's bub but we weren't out at the movies.
We were sneaking out to sea boots and I wait down,
(18:19):
I've written an acrostic poem for Sarah is full. She's
so lovely. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
The worst one for me is when people think people
So there's been the.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Entire thing thing I reckon. You should at the beginning
and go look. Thanks.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
There's a lot of people I need to thank here.
You all know what you've done. Thank you so much
for everything that you've done. It means the world to us.
So thanks to everyone. Okay, that's enough things. Now say
something interesting because I want to know more about the bride,
and I want to know what you love about the
groom or the bride. And I want to know if
you're the best man something funny. I want to learn
(18:53):
more about what that person used to be like, you know,
I want to know stuff.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Also, I don't think if the best men isn't necessarily
the best speaker, don't feel like you've got to make him.
Oh you know what I mean. You know who the
best speaker is, and your crew, don't be afraid to
pull in the pinch hitter. Yeah, okay, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
But if you're if you're a best man and you've
been given the role of best man's speech and you're
not a great speaker, you write that thing down. Oh yeah,
you write that thing down, and you practice it, and
you've got to practice it. You've got to read it
at least ten times, maybe more. It's not like a
case of writing it on your phone and they've never
put it on your phone. Print it out on a
(19:35):
piece of paper, have it in front of you. Learn
how to speak into a microphone.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
They should do that.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Speak up and speak clearly, and read that speech over
and over because you've got a big role like this
is a big moment. Don't get nervous about it, don't
worry about it, but be prepared talking and without a
speech written. If you can't speak, no, if you can
speak without notes. Yes, they're the best speakers in the world.
But most people, I'm going to say ninety five percent
of people can't.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Can't do that. I can't even talk to the fucking microphone.
There's so for those of you who don't know men,
we can't hear you at the back. They should do it.
At school. It should be.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
If I wass get trying to get elected this year,
I would say, tell you what I'm going to do
an education. I'm going to do microphone technic at schools.
It'll be a couple of days and it will prevent
those fucking they hold it down by their belly.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
But a lot of Catholic schools you learn how to do.
That's just as annoying to hear as it was for
you to hear their can I address were quite long here?
Oh oh my god, what is happening? That's what country
are they? That's South America? For sure. Surely they don't
(20:47):
be skating in South America do that. But she's got
a bit of blood coming off in there. She crying
because she did well or the blood. Instead of replaying
the Snowhoker, we should replay whatever they just did. The
greatest I didn't tell you guys the content of it,
but I told you that I saw the greatest best
man's speech of.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
All time claim Maxwell, You're sorry?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Does look like gleam Max? Those do a relationship? Okay,
all right, that's pretty clear. Right. Oh, anyway, so he's
the greatest best man's speeches of all time. I didn't
tell you the context of it. I'm pretty sure no
one will hear it now. It was so the guy
(21:30):
got up, he'd written the song. He's hilarious. He's the
kind of person who doesn't need to write anything down.
He could just stand up talk. He'll be hilarious. It
be great on the show. Also, his name Tom Cochran.
He a highway. Life is a highway? That guy, Yeah,
he's actually from Wyman and he's only he's only thirty
four anywhere. He got up to do his speech, and
before he even got to the speech, one of the
(21:52):
manor the maid of honor or whatever goes, did I
hear a story about you crashing your car not far
from here? And he's like, oh yeah, so when we
were growing up we knew the story of Tom Cochrane
Life as a Highway crashed his car. The story was
it was snowing, he couldn't see it was a t junction.
He drove it straight into the thing. She goes, did
(22:12):
I hear a rumor that the reason you crashed that
car is because you were making love to yourself while
driving down that country road? And he goes, are we
doing this? Are we Gus's winning. All right, fine, and
how he launched into the entire story about how he'd
gone round to his high school girlfriend's house and they'd
been cassing on the couch or whatever, and then he
had to drive home and he was so frustrated.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Oh wow, someone else's yes, yeah, wow, Actually, don't feel bad.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
But family members involved? Good stuff? Were they were they
like parents, grandparents, not in an incident, but they were there.
Oh wow, they were there when they were there when
it happened. Sorry, very distracted. Uh what was the question?
(23:03):
Grandparents there? You talked around it obviously. No. He went
straight at and it was just like, yeah, this is
what happened. When he acknowledged that, that's quite full. Yeah,
that was one of the the all time greatest speeches
I've ever heard of my life. He then went and
straight into a song that he had written that morning,
(23:24):
which was hilarious and just brought the brought the brought
the house down. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Well, if you can do that, so, I mean, the
song is amazing because it's like generally about three or
four minutes long. If you can do that, yeah, amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
All right, okay, all right, all right, we didn't know
the song right.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Jerry and managed the radio show from six to ten weekdays.
The Hadary Breakfast
Daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio
show The Hurdaki Breakfast Podcast, not on me.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Screw gone at home, I've got a few at home.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Jeez, okay, producing with your screwdriver multiple What what are
we talking?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Phillips said, chrome toolkit.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
This Phillips hit it was actually my toolk it at
home as a super cheap auto one because I got
given one hundred dollar a super cheap auto voucher and
I need to talk it now. So I got one.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Let me ask you a question as a radio show producer,
did you get given a one hundred dollars voucher from
or did one go missing out of the promo department? Huh?
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Look if one went missing, huh. I'm going to say
it was a present from my brother in law. So
my wife's brother gave me that for my birthday.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Okay, that seems legit. Yeah, does seem legit.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Well he's an idiot because you could have just grabbed
aou are you Well, yeah, saved everyone's money.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
You're calling Brendan an idiot.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Yep. Yeah, Brendan's an idiot because you could have just
stolen it, because you could have just put your own
you could have put a pseudonym into the system and
awarded it to yourself, like for example, if your name
was something like Joe, you could call yourself Jose, you know.
And if your last name was something like Jury, you
could call your last name Derito. Right, this seems very specific.
And claim that you're a doctor and then award prizes
(01:23):
that you want to doctor Jose Dorito's.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yeah, that's a good one. I used to send prizes
to my brother. Oh he's got the same.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
So that's way too easy to catch them, Jose Doritos.
Look behind the curtain. There wasn't it when Matt Wood
used to work here, Marty Wood won a lot of prizes,
a lot of prizes. Really, Mary would, yeah, Manuel Lestevan
also Marty would.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
That's the name that would ring alarm bells with me
as soon as I saw Marty wouldn't be knowing use
Mary Wood's up to something.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Well, luckily you never did the audits of the prize system.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
I wanted to raise something with you, guy, So it
was very disappointed. Man last night.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
YEP.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Probably about four or five days ago, I bought these
beautiful avocados, beautiful bulbous, big avocados.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yes, just oh, snowhoker. Sorry, that's right. We've got a snowhoker.
Never never quite looks right, does it? Congratulations, zoe said,
ASKI sier, she's got silver. You don't see a lot
of people that look like me on the side of
the mountain. It's a real South Islander. There's a lot
of mana going on there and a big curre to them.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Sorry, no, that's all right. It is actually a fascinating
watch the snowhacker.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
There's nowhere to hide, there's no.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Look at it, Carrie, I can't want to look at it.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
If Zoey has to watch this, you have to watch it. Okay,
I can't watch She's like, fuck, this sucks?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Is that what she's thinking?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
It on the right story? He really, he really made up.
She's stuck. Actually he really made up for it. Was
like if you took the back of the all blacks
sucker where all the locks are hiding? Is so bad?
Or is she crying because it was good? I think
she's trying to stow herself from laughing. I know les
and I know less guns on her LESBI getting under
(03:15):
the armwork lately.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
You can tell she just flicks as well. Yeah, yeah,
she's doing the hand movements anyway.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Avocado's sorry, Yes, I'm going to listen to you, but
I'm going to look at less. Okay, So avocados.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
You've got some bulbous avocados, beautiful bulbous avocados, just just.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Coming into the green out of the green side and
to the sort of dark purple side.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
And I'm like, here we go, here we go. Fucking
Dad's got some avocados coming.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Probably, I know it probably late. Again, you've done. I appreciate.
Dad's gonna bring it home.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
And no, because dad has figured out how to make
beautiful sushi. And my son is obsessed with the avocado sushi.
So he's like, fuck your dad. I love when you
make the avocado.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
So you rolling that s You rolling that sushi?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Got a sushizi, bro, what's a sushi? Have you a
packet with the rice? The sushi they would pack it
with the rice is plastic, Yeah it is. It's not
one of those wooden things that you're roll. No, I've
got that as well, that as well, but you've got
to rot. You put it in a roll. It's like
a toilet paper roll. But you pack it with rice,
(04:23):
and then you pack it with the ingredients, and then
you close it up and you screw that thing up
and it turns into its beautiful tube, and you've just
got to get it on.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
That Seaweki the Mayor bus.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
And oh man, I was looking forward to some sushizy actions,
but unfortunately on Sunday I could see light brown, light
brown spots and the start on the avocado, and I was.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Like, I thought, have you opened it up by the stage?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
No, no, I could. They were so evident though, what.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You mean on the outside, On the outside.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
The light brown, the light brown spots that there had
been some damage to the avocados, And I thought, how much.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Did I pay?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Would you give them?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
It was from a fruit and bread shop near where
I live, and from not from starts with b borock Borrock.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
No, it wasn't. It was the one that's up.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Towards Fred Taylor drive with the.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Yeah back up that way often disappointed.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, box is good. They are. They are really good.
Quite expensive though is that their tagline often disappointing.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
The problem with me though, I was far too cheap
and I walk in there, I'm like, too expensive, Yeah,
I only go in there when the bluebes or the
strawbs are on special.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Apart from that, but surely you'd run out the apples
would surely at this time be the same everywhere.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Nah, not at Barock mate. Anyway, you can.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Probably figure out the rest. Bloody. The spots started.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Coming up, and I opened up and I was like,
I'm gonna I'm gonna try it. Maybe it'll be all right.
And you know, when yeh sliced the everdo around the
side to twist it open. When I twisted that thing,
the skin just fell off because the avocado was so rotten.
Just okay, the skin just fell off.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
That's right up there with when you cut that sucker open,
and it's basically all pepper. You know what I learned
I speaking of Sushisi the Mad Bastard. On the way
back from the Blacklash, I went round to the home
of marm Parkesey because we can't pulled back, and they've
(06:34):
got an avocado or so we went and picked up avocados.
The trees are groaning with fruit and they're big bastards.
And I learned that apparently from Kesey. The Mad Bastard's dead,
whose name is John Key, the right honorable John Key.
(06:54):
I learned from him that they they artificially ripened the
ones that you buy in the supermarkets and the produce stores.
They use a gas Yeah, it's so that they can
control the flow of stocks, that there's always stock that's
at the right level of ripeness to be sold, whereas
if you let it ripen naturally, it lasts way longer.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, because we had one, we had an avocado tree
at home, bloody you know, rip And unfortunately, when we
did some renos, the dude and the digger came over
and we put a little mark on all the trees
that we wanted them to get rid of, and definitely
did not put a mark on the avocado tree because
that thing was that.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Thing, man, that's worth.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
That's worth in our family, the amount of avocados we
go through, and I'd say we go through to or
three hundred a year, yeah, well one hundred and something.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, a couple of week.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
And he got rid of that thing. And I got
to say, I've seen Tossy angry maybe a handful of
times in my life. This is not an angry person.
But I was having to talk her down from a
cliff there she wanted to have a go at the
bloody degger driver. It's just made a mistake here, let's
just and she's like, yeah, but that tree has been
(08:08):
growing for thirty years.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
And don't they take ages to get to maturity? Take
a while?
Speaker 3 (08:13):
And this thing because you leave the avocados on the
tree and they don't ripen until you take them.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Till they fall off.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Yeah, And so it's essentially like having a fridge, a tree, fridge,
a pantry.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's so good.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
They are amazing, like they're amazing things. In fact, cornicopia
spell that I went. I went to a house not
long ago, awesome and doors, windows and blockhouse bay and
it was one of the houses, one of a number
of state houses that were built in the nineteen fifties,
and they planted fruit trees. In those days. They used
(08:45):
to plant fruit trees in the back of the state houses,
which is a great call. There used to be a
country and one of them had had an avocado bloody
tree planted in the back of that in the house.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
It was huge and it was laid in full of
those groaning I was like, what a great idea that is.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Way anyway, So it was a real shame because they
were not big ones either. They were little ones, but
they were really creamy and yummy.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Fucking lottery the avocado. Yeah, they're a fucking lottery.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
It's so good when you get a good one, but
hurts when you get like the ones I got the
other day or used today. After I got the stupid
skin ripped off it, I was looked at it and
I scraped, scraped for my fucking life. And I looked
and I was like, it's green. I think that, I
think there could be and you know it's gather.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
It was no.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
We feisched the mother first and then the kids came. Mother,
come here, mother, mother, missus ruder, missus hiding out.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
She's always in the kitchen, missus d.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
No, I'm always in the kitchen. And yeah, it was
one of those things where the avocado not only stringy. Oh,
I give me, oh st stringy. And that's when I've
got that smoky taste, you know what I mean. The
smoky taste.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Man, when you get those, when you get those keesy specials, man,
they taste because often when you get them from the soupie,
they don't taste like anything. There's none more of a
texture play than a taste. But when you get man,
the taste of them hard to go. Yeah, but that's
oh no, another snow huger number two? Or is this
(10:27):
a replay of the initial.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Snow on the left that I'm taking the blondie on
the left. It's like, excuse me, you're blondie on the left?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
She she is going through one and two and one
and two and a hit. She's practiced for this. Now,
if that's who's who they've decided has to go up
the front of this hucker, imagine what's going on at
the back. That guy's covered his entire face. Is some
embarrassed by what's going the backpack?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I won't be involved in that back person, you're ruining
the harker.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
I'm sure this isn't a second one.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Now, hold on, I think it is. I think this
could be a second Now. What I want to know
is is this the world's first ever harker performed on
snow with a backpack on?
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Crying again? Lasa is crying again?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Fuck is crying? The secret to having jacked arms less?
God damn, could she send me the bloody workout program avocados.
That's the trick of those arms.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
So when you invite her to your wedding minight, Lass,
she should be a great MC. Note to self, No
One Puladinum, prompt you harker because she will be on
the ground.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Jeremy Wells and Manaia Stuart find them on Instagram at
Hidarki Breakfast. Jerry and Mania joined the conflict the Hidarki
Breakfast discussion group on Facebook for more.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
I went to Less's wedding and Jason Gunn was the MC.
Did he do Sure, he didn't, but he did impersonations
and I got to say, if you want to.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
MC, yeah, Jason Gunn, Oh my god, he was unbelievably good.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
He was like I've never seen as MC you have
ever seen at like unbelievable. And because he's mates with
Laz and Las's family growing up in christ Church, and
he's known Laura since.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
She was a kid.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
She's still very young. He was obviously she hears listeners.
He close to the family and knew a whole lot
of stories. He was coming in with personal stories. You
know that you don't want that guy to sit down.
To his credit, he didn't steal the limelight. He was
just punching.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
He was so good thing because I get do you
get us to m C weddings all the time.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I have him seed a few in my time. But
to be honest with old so we're all were we
second time around and most people just hiding those weddings.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, that's a good point. I get us all the time.
I don't like doing it. I don't want to do it.
I just want to be at the wedding, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Yeah, But look, I know how you feel about it,
and I'm executive. I was executed the same, particularly at
your age. And now you get to a point like
it's you know what, though, you stand up there and
you sit down and you watch someone butcher that holy
them is a crucial right because you can keep things moving.
And if you're good like you, you've already got enough
attention in your life. I don't need no, So you'll
(13:14):
keep things moving along. Won't make it about you, but
you'll you'll be funny moments. So you got to just
do it just for the benefit of yourself, because otherwise
you're going to.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Watch someone butcher. It just it just feels like work.
It honestly feels like if you're an electrician and I
invite you to my wedding, I'm like, can you fucking
run a line of fluorescent lights? You can do that.
You could do that asleep. You could definitely do it first.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
No problems asked, bloody sing at weddings. Yeah, I've only
had one ask for a winning Yeah it was your own.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
No, it was my yourself, and you declined it was
my ex brother in law's winning X brother in law brother.
Did you marry your brother in law?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
No? No so X you guys not together anymore. X
wife's brother. Yeah, asked me to be the m sed
as winning and.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
So reasonably yeah post divorce. Yeah, oh no, no, no, no,
I made.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
An inappropriate joke about the age difference between the bride
and the groom.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Oh you did it? Yeah, yeah, they're all quite Damn,
she's so young. She must have been.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
I don't know what you can watch watch you can't.
Well both. You shouldn't have even seed it firstly. Secondly,
you shouldn't be making an inappropriate age joke as the
MC's first.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
But it's on the MC's job. It's not the twenty
first man. Me and my mates sat down for one
of the weddings that I m seed, and we sat
down the night before and went over our notes, me
and the best man, and we sat there and we
were laughing our asses off, and then we went quiet
for a couple of seconds, and we can't read any
of the ship tomorrow? Can we late scratching of the
(14:56):
entire speech? Yeah, it was. It was the night before
and we had a skinful. We're like, fuck, it's not
as twenty first. You know, his family's there, as mum's
sitting there. This is supposed to be his big day.
And we'll remember when you fucked all the pans in
the flat because he burned everything. That's not really Yeah,
there's a way to do it, and we missed the mark,
so we self edited and we decided not to.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
It's a difficult one sometimes to get that right, and
amongst a whole lot of parents.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Tones hard to get.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
You can say stuff though that people get without. You
can sometimes a little bit of a nod, a little
bit of a wink certain stuff. So some people get
it and then the oldies don't get it.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
That's that's the way to do it. That's a good laugh.
If you get it. Yeah, if you were there, you'll know,
you'll know if all I have to do is mention
her name, you know, and then all the boys will laugh.
No one else needs to know, and I would I
would implore the mother of the groom not to inquire
about that. No, definitely not.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
But a good a good best man's speech and a
good MC at a wedding really do make the wedding.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I've only been asked to do one best man's speech
and I fucking flattened the room. The best speech you've
ever given. Good. Yeah, And I don't know why they
did it this way. But then they go, does anyone
else want to have a yah after? Honestly? Like, I
don't like to blow my own trumpet. But it was
a lot of fun, you know, you get a few laughs.
(16:14):
There were a few tears. There's hurting and hollering like
I brought the room down. And then they go, all right, sweet, well,
if any no one else wants to go, we'll get
on with things. One of the uncles goes, oh, actually
I got you. Oh yeah, you go after that so flat, dude.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Ah, it was about I don't like the opening up
to the floor things. I got to say, I've never
seen it work, don't You'll get a couple of okay.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Ones, but the idea of who else wants it. It's
like no, no, no, no, no, no no, you're not
about to stand up and just crash it like on
something you just thought of. Now for me, this should
be you go mc.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Hammer, father of the groom, father of the bride, best groom.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Oh yeah, well, uh do you go to grooms man bride?
There five that's a lot of speeches. Rudy, you've been
married heaps. What what order did you go?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
I can't remember that. It probably went differently.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
There was father of the bride, father.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Of the groom, not mother of the groom, definitely not
mother of the bride. Had one really yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Normally you just go one from one from the parents.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
The first one, the other mother.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Evening.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Now that's the first definitely the best man one. Someone
forgot to think the bridesmaids and that turned into a
fucking thing, and then someone else said to go by
the way, really beautiful Today, I reckon I could do
every bridesmaid's speech either.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
It's the same as every twenty first speech. When I
first met Sarah, we didn't get along, but but through
the years, but through the years we got to know
each other better and then we became best breads and
sorry Sarah's bub but we weren't out at the movies.
We were sneaking out to sea boots and I wait down,
(18:19):
I've written an acrostic poem for Sarah is full. She's
so lovely. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
The worst one for me is when people think people
So there's been the.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Entire thing thing I reckon. You should at the beginning
and go look. Thanks.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
There's a lot of people I need to thank here.
You all know what you've done. Thank you so much
for everything that you've done. It means the world to us.
So thanks to everyone. Okay, that's enough things. Now say
something interesting because I want to know more about the bride,
and I want to know what you love about the
groom or the bride. And I want to know if
you're the best man something funny. I want to learn
(18:53):
more about what that person used to be like, you know,
I want to know stuff.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Also, I don't think if the best men isn't necessarily
the best speaker, don't feel like you've got to make him.
Oh you know what I mean. You know who the
best speaker is, and your crew, don't be afraid to
pull in the pinch hitter. Yeah, okay, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
But if you're if you're a best man and you've
been given the role of best man's speech and you're
not a great speaker, you write that thing down. Oh yeah,
you write that thing down, and you practice it, and
you've got to practice it. You've got to read it
at least ten times, maybe more. It's not like a
case of writing it on your phone and they've never
put it on your phone. Print it out on a
(19:35):
piece of paper, have it in front of you. Learn
how to speak into a microphone.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
They should do that.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Speak up and speak clearly, and read that speech over
and over because you've got a big role like this
is a big moment. Don't get nervous about it, don't
worry about it, but be prepared talking and without a
speech written. If you can't speak, no, if you can
speak without notes. Yes, they're the best speakers in the world.
But most people, I'm going to say ninety five percent
of people can't.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Can't do that. I can't even talk to the fucking microphone.
There's so for those of you who don't know men,
we can't hear you at the back. They should do it.
At school. It should be.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
If I wass get trying to get elected this year,
I would say, tell you what I'm going to do
an education. I'm going to do microphone technic at schools.
It'll be a couple of days and it will prevent
those fucking they hold it down by their belly.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
But a lot of Catholic schools you learn how to do.
That's just as annoying to hear as it was for
you to hear their can I address were quite long here?
Oh oh my god, what is happening? That's what country
are they? That's South America? For sure. Surely they don't
(20:47):
be skating in South America do that. But she's got
a bit of blood coming off in there. She crying
because she did well or the blood. Instead of replaying
the Snowhoker, we should replay whatever they just did. The
greatest I didn't tell you guys the content of it,
but I told you that I saw the greatest best
man's speech of.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
All time claim Maxwell, You're sorry?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Does look like gleam Max? Those do a relationship? Okay,
all right, that's pretty clear. Right. Oh, anyway, so he's
the greatest best man's speeches of all time. I didn't
tell you the context of it. I'm pretty sure no
one will hear it now. It was so the guy
(21:30):
got up, he'd written the song. He's hilarious. He's the
kind of person who doesn't need to write anything down.
He could just stand up talk. He'll be hilarious. It
be great on the show. Also, his name Tom Cochran.
He a highway. Life is a highway? That guy, Yeah,
he's actually from Wyman and he's only he's only thirty
four anywhere. He got up to do his speech, and
before he even got to the speech, one of the
(21:52):
manor the maid of honor or whatever goes, did I
hear a story about you crashing your car not far
from here? And he's like, oh yeah, so when we
were growing up we knew the story of Tom Cochrane
Life as a Highway crashed his car. The story was
it was snowing, he couldn't see it was a t junction.
He drove it straight into the thing. She goes, did
(22:12):
I hear a rumor that the reason you crashed that
car is because you were making love to yourself while
driving down that country road? And he goes, are we
doing this? Are we Gus's winning. All right, fine, and
how he launched into the entire story about how he'd
gone round to his high school girlfriend's house and they'd
been cassing on the couch or whatever, and then he
had to drive home and he was so frustrated.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Oh wow, someone else's yes, yeah, wow, Actually, don't feel bad.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
But family members involved? Good stuff? Were they were they
like parents, grandparents, not in an incident, but they were there.
Oh wow, they were there when they were there when
it happened. Sorry, very distracted. Uh what was the question?
(23:03):
Grandparents there? You talked around it obviously. No. He went
straight at and it was just like, yeah, this is
what happened. When he acknowledged that, that's quite full. Yeah,
that was one of the the all time greatest speeches
I've ever heard of my life. He then went and
straight into a song that he had written that morning,
(23:24):
which was hilarious and just brought the brought the brought
the house down. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Well, if you can do that, so, I mean, the
song is amazing because it's like generally about three or
four minutes long. If you can do that, yeah, amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
All right, okay, all right, all right, we didn't know
the song right.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Jerry and managed the radio show from six to ten weekdays.
The Hadary Breakfast
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com