Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, here he goes daily us spoke that you
won't find on the radio show The HURDARKI Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
There he goes, here it goes, Here we get.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Am I not allowed to say?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Here it goes? Here, it goes Fellas?
Speaker 4 (00:13):
No, here it goes Bennett, Well, what.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Did I say? Did I say? I think I said
here we go? So I don't know if you're having
a gut me about something different, Jerry.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Here we go. Sure a good name for the podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Here we go, Here we go, Here we go, here
we go. Have we named that thing or were still
just run in the podcast?
Speaker 4 (00:32):
I know this is my idea, but as soon as
a million names came through, I was it was analysis paralysis.
I was like, we can't because the big problem this
podcast has always had as it's changed its name a
million times, and I was like, if we did this
one more time, I think I might have the great
great exodus all three listeners.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I also like the idea of the podcast with no name. Yeah,
I went on a show called a podcast.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
With no name.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I could kick that off and go here we go,
and then you guys could be mean to me about it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
It's a tough day for you years today as well.
I understand what the whole WhatsApp thing happening. Ye oh
that's McDonald judgment. It was a tough day for you.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Any blowback, anyone blow your back?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
No, not yet. But we did ever buy this week
for the basketball team. So there will be a practice
over the weekend and then another game next Monday.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Seventy to our news cycle. Mate, that'll be washed out
by bloody Friday. No, I won't be thinking about that again.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
How do we feel about weekend practices in Braktice?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
My son's basketball team has one on the weekend.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Well, that's fucking That's the whole point of basketballs that
you don't have to give up your weekend.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Twelve thirty Sunday normally, Oh my god, No, whose idea
was it? No, don't say you're it's not me. That's
not I'm not leveling Blaine. It's not me though.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
That's someone's sleepwalking through their life.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Man.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
The whole point of putting your kid into basketball is
you don't have to give up your weekends. Otherwise, why
wouldn't you be down there playing rugby soccer or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Twelve thirty you've gotten away with it, you've got that's
time for a family lunch. Oh that's a basketball practice.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So early early lunch at the Ruder household on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Because of stupid Why twelve thirty? How old are the kids?
Speaker 5 (02:18):
You're the manager?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Nine?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Now my wife's the manager. I'm the assistant. Okay, well
she makes the rules. What is the manager? What's the
fair point?
Speaker 4 (02:27):
What sort of defense are they running that they need
to be training? Were they run a one two one one?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
They tried his own defense and then they got told
they wouldn't allowed to do it at age nine?
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Oh yeah, so that's brutal. Well, can I suggest in
a full court trap because that's not technically a zone
defense and it's way harder at nine years old to break.
My primary school basketball team was basically undefeated for three
years because we ran a full court press, and the
only way to break a full court press very easy
for adults because you need to work together as a team,
But for kids who could barely dribble billy pass, it's suffocating.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Is that one on one all the way down the court? No?
Speaker 4 (03:02):
No, one two to one one is how we were
running it. So say you're inbounding the ball to bring
it up the court. There'll be one guy defending the
ball carrier. His job is to guide him to one
side or the other. At halfway, You've got two wounders
standing on the basically on either side of the halfway line.
So when the ball carrier comes up there, they are
trapped by two people behind them. You've got one guy
(03:25):
standing under the basket just in case they heave it,
and then another one sort of. You know, there's a
circle at the halfway line. He's at the back side
of that circle. So once you trap the ball handler,
they then have to throw a panic pass. And they're nine,
so they're going to panic.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
And just biff it you.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
And now you've got other guys ball hawking. They come
through and said, is devastating at the primary school age.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
No, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Twelve?
Speaker 4 (03:49):
I can come down and run a clinicful. Don't ever
lose another basketball game score.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I may never play again too.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
I honestly, I can't recommend it highly enough.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I won't bring my dog along to the practice.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
If you come along, are you are you practicing running
like like like? Obviously you probably do a bit of
layup practice.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeap, yeah, yep, they're practicing the layups. They play around
the world, around the world, and then do you because
with netball, I mean, this is the only closest thing
I've got in terms of practice with the round ball.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That what the center pass off like, really good young
netball teams they just have a they have three Basically
everyone goes in three places, right, so you have three
set plays. And I was drawing currently drawing a basketball
from the center pass off, Yes, and everybody knows where
they go, and they run into that place and then
(04:44):
the ball goes down the court the same way and
then into the into the shooting circle and that way.
You just know that every you basically rotate the plays
every three every three center pass offs and it will
all depend on where the goal of tack stands, and
so you just know exactly where you need to be.
And then the ba it comes to you at a
certain time, rather than that thing of the kids standing
there and everyone putting up the hand going yea.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Again, age nine nine, you can do it easy.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
It's coming on a Wednesday morning. Talk x's and o's
with you, fellows.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
A real treat, a real treat.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
You didn't expect it.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Here I've drawn this up for anyone listening to the podcast,
this isn't going to help. This is your defensive We
can a class.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
It's basically a plus. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Some people call it a diamondat X can often be
a little bit further back or one two one one
is generally what it's called.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
As a fan of Christian mythology, I'd call that the cross.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Yeah, crucify. Let's crucify these bas call it the cross,
and let's crucify.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
This is defensive play, the defensive play, Yeah, the cruciffection.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
And so when they inbound the ball here, because you've
got a defender here, they're going to inbound the ball
to one side. Let's say they embound it here.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
This is the is the offensive play.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
At that point does defender's job is not to stand
in front of them, but to stand on an angle
and direct them into one of the corner. It's either corner.
But in this instance, we're going here. So now he
goes all the way here, right yep. At that point
the X will have come with them. So we're now
in this configuration.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Now you've got two guys on one.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Now you got two guys on one plus you've got
the sideline, plus you've got the halfway line. If you
can trap him right on the halfway line, there's a
chance he's going to go over and back.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
That's a turnover.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
So that's what you're trying to do there now, Because
he's nine nine year old, kids are dumb as fuck.
That kid's just going to panic. They can't see, so
they're just overhand definite. At that point, these guys have
come in to fill the gaps. Now they're having a
look at where the other players are and they're just
going to stand between the other player and the balls.
When that comes over, one of these two guys is
(06:42):
going to intercept it. At that point, you've basically got
a three on one fast break.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
This is stunning.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Okay, y, have you not discovered this ready?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
You've been coaching this team for what I'm the assistant coach.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Okay it As an assistant coach, Scott brought up the
what is Scott teaching these kids? What's the what's the
defensive strategy in the side.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Do you know what a great, a fucking great strategy
was the other day was they were up by three
points with two minutes to go. Nah, his son's shoelace
came undone. Oh yeah, yeah, and so he had to
run on and do his sh I've never seen an
adult take so long to do up a shoe lace
a bit in my life. And I said, if I
(07:25):
was the coach of the other team, I would be
fucking fucking.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
He's complaining to the NBA.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Yeah, would Another one you can do? Actually, another one
you can do is a ball and inadvertently hits a
drink bottle. It spills all over the floor. Sorry, guys,
hold on because at that age you're not running stop clock,
So the clock just keeps going.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
No, because they've got two games going at the same time.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Yeah, so you're gonna keep the running. So they finished
at the same time. So then oh, one of the
kids is you know, these bloody kids are like that
and it's juice too. Well, have you even got choice
in here?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Why do they play two games at once? As at
half court?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Yeah, half court because they've got there at the yen course.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Well then the full court press isn't gonna work in
a half court game.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Oh okay, Well, as the assistant coach ruder, you should
have immediately I.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Just shout at them, that's all I've done as an
assistant coach, I just shout at them.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
What do you shout? Come on, boys? Well, what does
that do?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Focus on?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Guys? I've seen you catch. Are you sure you should
be the assistant coach?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I'm very motivational as a shouting dad.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Come on, boys? What I feel the noise? You do
that to us?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Stay awake, We've got come on, guys, wake up, two
minutes to go, guys. Slot down, oh slight down, guys.
And sometimes also when we have a sub, I have
to sub well, to go on, do you help us?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
I've actually facing the sideline, A couple of them ning
the sideline in a suit, slick back here.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, abuse, abusing the reef, A little bit of that.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
You to call it one particular reef there that doesn't
like your team.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Well, I don't like your team. I like your team
and I've never seen them play, So I'm with that reef.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
You don't like my son, No, nine year old son.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Nothing to do with your son. I just don't like
the coaching setup. I don't like the administration. They're playing.
They're practicing on a Sunday, the managers asleep at the wheel.
The assistant coach has never played basketball, possibly even.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
In his life.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
You've never installed certainly has no idea of defense.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
You've never installed a defense. The one defense I tried
to show you, it's long go an to work because
you only play on.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Half court defense.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Now you're going to the back to the notebook, now
to a couple of half court seats together for you.
But if you thought about coaching one of the NBL sides,
because this is impressive.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
For yeah, I'd love to actually get out of the key.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
That's the only thing. Oh yeah, threw in the get
out of key.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
So the other one, I slow it down, dash, slow
it down?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Mate, Oh my god, I I have that. What's their
win loss record? I mean, it doesn't matter. Let's be clear.
It's under nine basketball.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Do you want to know their win loss record so
far this season?
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yep, more than.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Six and o bitches. Well, okay, wins by the six
wins and oh losses.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It's good, good record.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Well, it doesn't get any bitty can it's good record.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Do you think the Warriors are good? What about the Raptors?
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Bitch?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I just guess it's these Sunday twelve thirty practices. They
always commitment.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Well, they've got those, but they've also got a pre
pre not a pre skill practice, but a pre school prep.
Price to school, thank you.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Two practices a week for this team.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Man, fucking no wonder at six and oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Two practices a week. You do learn a lot of
practices at that age.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
And at that age it's basically can you catch? And
if you can't, that's how you lose.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
And who's got a hoop at home? Here? And a
basketball that's pumped up?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Anyone hitting anything? Any shots from outside of the car?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Is it all just force feed it?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
There's one there's one really good kid and that team
coach's son and also the smallest on the team. Yeah,
real good trouble would kick, would kick my.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Ass handles that's my heart.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Never played well is your nine year old? But still yeah,
but I'm pretty imposing you've got.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Two their feet. You don't. Let's not forget. In the
in the relay race, you have to remind which arm
goes forward and which leg goes forward at the same time,
and you're running.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
We need a nine year old. That's a good running race.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
That's a good wow, that's a good point you raised, Jerry,
But what you're forgetting is Rudy goes hard in the
motherfucking paint, all right, he goes hard the.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I want to. I mean, I've got righter side. I
don't jumping in position. It's not going to work.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
But ruder taking it'll take it.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
It will take you to the rack. Brother, has he
ever left the ground? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Fuck, I don't know what's happening.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
He's half man, half fucking tramplanded. I just gotta jump,
jump out of the jump. I'll see him go off
the backboard through the leg's arm and the hoops and
white men can't jump. But he's one sixty ninth May
Cliff Curtis is.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
His cousin, one sixty ninth. Matis can't jump.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Mary can't jump. I couldn't jump over a phone book.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
What do you got there? Defensive?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I don't know. Drawing a penis by the looks.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Lipstick penis there point show it to you. It's not
a penis. Please tell me that is not your penis.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
It's not my penis.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Well, what are they called the basketball team?
Speaker 3 (12:40):
The Raptors?
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Brom on that I'm on that with.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
All said, on the sideline going ra the rep that's
pretty cool, do you go raptors?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Go raptors?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Got don't have cheerleaders?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah, good raptors like eagles and hawks.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
No little dinosaurs raptors, Oh yeah, a dinosaur rather, but
like the Toronto Raptors.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
We used to play basketball in the y Meti Stadium
as it was called, which was primarily used for the
shears every year. So at one end there was a
shearing stage and at the other end just a brick wall,
and every year there would just be broken arm after
broken arm after broken arm because the the hoop hung
almost directly over the stage. If you went for a
layup and someone hit you or you must or whatever,
(13:34):
you just hit the side of the fucking stage.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
It was brutal. And the other thing the other ends
of the brick wall on the other end of Boston. Yeah,
like the Boston Red Sox Yeah, yeah, exactly, the ivy
growing on it.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Yeah, except moss.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
And it was so fucking cold in that thing. Every
now and then, a trader you would bring it one
of those giant gas heaters with like that looks like
a jit engine, but that was not enough to heat
that thing.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
That could be a colder inside one of those holes
and outside.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Yeah, and like so when the and we're playing with
like forestry workers and trade's and shearers and ship and
they're sitting on the bench and you can just see
the steam coming up off them because it's so cold
in there. It was a good fun league, though it
was strangely competitive.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It's now got.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
A new big stadium with his I think two or
three courts in there, which is pretty cool, big basketball powerhouse.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I don't know why. Well, because you think that indoor
would be good. Yeah, down that way because so cold
and so miserable, especially in the winter, winter mornings. How
about rugby in the on Saturday mornings, so with.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
The frost is so hard that it just cuts into burts,
like it doesn't it doesn't ship Yeah, beer feet No, no, no,
not that. I mean maybe maybe in the grades JB.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, might have the midges. We used to go beer feet.
I think we were beer feet till we were chin Oh.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
I just saw the Waymadi Rugby Club posted a it's
like club day this weekend, so that here's all the
things that have come up. But they used AI and
so that you know, the junior grades are midgets, so
so come down and watch the midgets play is basically
what they were trying to post, but because they recruited
AI to make it, they don't look like children. They
(15:12):
look like midgets.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Whoops? Did someone not oversee that? I mean that thing
with AI.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
It's good.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
You get AI to do the work and then you
sort of have a look over it and see if yeah,
what it's done.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
And they are kids, but it's still like.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
They are actual midgets.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
Yeah, come and look at the midgets.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It's ladies Day.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
There's a live band, face paintings to do.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Mister something for midget cars. I want order to come
up with.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, mister is going to be down there.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Mister whipp is going to be down there.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
We come and just what you.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Need in the winter? Yep, cold ice cream.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
White tek you Bean's going to be there, which I
presume is a coffee truck today.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Do you too much Frosty Boy or were you mister
Whippy as a kid?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Frosty by Frosty by the things? I feel like Frosty
Boy was inside of takeaways, okay, and then mister Whippy
was the mobile. There was also Blue Balls, which Blue
Boy or whatever it's called that used to hit around
the coramand or blue balls. Someone's actually now that they
(16:15):
weir did a story on seven chap on a Mister Whipopie.
A young kid who's got two mister Whippie trucks. It's
making a fortune, he's got them. Yeah, very industrious young man.
He's in his early teenth and he's looking around in
two mister Whippie trucks.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Da little mad bus.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah, should already assure.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Jerry and Manaia joined the conflict the Hadaki Breakfast discussion
group on Facebook. For more Jeremy Wells and Manaia Stuart
find them on Instagram at Hodaki Breakfast.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
You might have seen recently that a planed or seemingly
washed up on the coast in Wellington, New Zealand. I'm
about to show you what really happened and just how
close I came to executing the greatest stunt that I've
ever done. Last year's stunt was folding it for a
cheat in public, ended up getting a brand deal. I
was on the BBC in Radio Hodok in New Zealand,
so I knew that this year's aviation theme tour that
I would have to up the ante. At this time,
(17:07):
I may have flown too close to the sun. My
plan was simple. Step one, ambiguous posters all around the Capitol.
Step to at the moment that I furnished my spot
at the Upper House, hit up the coast, set up a.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Scene and wait.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
By the next morning, someone's TikTok at a quarter million
views and I was on the front page of the
aviation Reddit. And then, fittingly, it all came crashing down
because I'd notified police prior. When the media got in touch,
they realized that it was just a stunt, play favorite
compliance over virality. When the CAAA told me to remove
the door, I wasn't going to say no.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Dan bow enjoys us on the podcast. Now good a Dan,
how are you?
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Yeah, good man, thank you for having me. How you
fellas doing you?
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Well, thank good? So what is going on there? We
remember you from folding a sheet a while back and
the FRA car but that.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Cause a hysteria, mass hysteria and Edinburgh mass hysteria.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
So many people tuning in to see you fold a
sheet and now you've got a new thing going on.
What's what's the premise?
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Well, yeah, last year we chatted about the sheet stunt
I did in Edinburgh to promote my show, and I thought, oh,
this year, I'm gonna have to go bigger, right, And
this year I'm doing an aviation theme show. It's based
on a statistic where ten thousand people in the US
were surveyed and they were asked if they could land
a passenger airplane if they had to, like in an
emergency situation, and twenty percent of women think they can,
(18:34):
but when men were asked, it was forty six percent.
I think that they could if they had to. So
I think I could, yeah, one hundred percent. Yeah, do
you think you could? Add?
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Is it a is it a? Is it a Cisner.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Bowing seven three seven? A bowing seven three seven, and
you've got air traffic control in your ears? Yeah, I
don't think so.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I think I'd have more chance of a Bowing seven
three seven than an ear A three twenty okay, because
it's all automatic like the earbuses, although I think they
can actually land on auto.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
I think all of them all right, I know, but
that doesn't make a fun show if someone just gets
at it's a very brief comedy show. But yeah, So
last year the promotional thing was folding the sheet in
public and a bunch of people to now for that.
And this year I thought, for the last six months
I've been planning, I was like, I'll buy some parts
off of like a real Boeing seven three seven, and
I'll wash them up around Wellington on the coast and
(19:30):
make it look like something's happened. But if I say
there's been a plane crash, I'll probably go to prison.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
But if I just imply.
Speaker 5 (19:37):
There's been a plane crash, maybe get into less trouble.
So after the Wellington Opera House gig we did about
a month back, I went out to the coast at
like one or two in the morning, put a plane
door on the coast, put caution and tape around it,
and within like a day or two it started like
blowing up and going viral. But because I'd given the
Civil Aviation Authority and like Polica heads up, as soon
(19:59):
as it made it into the news cycle, of course
arn's it, and any like reputable media is going to
like background check before just going off of a headline
on ridder and they're like, oh, it turns out this
was just a stunt. So then so then I just
left with some bowing seven three seven seats that I
got from a guy in Timodoo who showed up to
Mum's house in full defense force camo fatigues, yeah, full fatigues.
(20:23):
And I was like, I can't tell him what I'm doing.
And I was like, oh, yeah, these will these will
be great for the man cave bro.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
You know.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
I just ended up putting them in the bucket fountain
on Cuba Street because I thought, like, comedically, where would
you not find seats from a Boeing seven three seven, Well,
they wouldn't be in the bucket fountain, And I put
them there with like a QR code on the back
to promote my show, and within an hour they were
just gone, Wow. Yeah, they just got like pinned straight away.
They got raps from the bucket fountain.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
Yeah, because they actually would make a good seat in the.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
One hundred percent. I think the council might have them,
but they're yeah, they're just they're gone now to put
them back in a plane just as a yeah there's
a plane somewhere extra seats in it.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
So you're you're kind of straddling an interesting area, aren't you. Damn,
Because you're straddling comedy and I will say art performance
art performance. Ant that's close, isn't it. My mum says autism,
But you're probably cloth. That's obviously something that interests you.
It's kind of so for for you, you've you've thought,
(21:23):
I feel like I can see your brain like a
window opening and then another window opening, and then another
window and another window opening, and then you're like, well,
I've got to overhear. Yeah, and then you've got to
somehow bring the link back together again. Yeah. Is that
kind of the way that your brain works?
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Yeah, kind of. It's as funny. I get a hard
time from my mum in my pals because if I
have an idea, I kind of have to go through
with it. Like any idea that I have just ends
up on it to do list. Yeah, you know, and
you actually do them a lot of the time. Yeah,
that's great, try and try and execute it.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
I write a million ideas down, don't do any of them.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
Well, was funny, because that's what's so silly about the
show is because like I'm guilty of having ideas and
then being like, oh, now I have to do this thing.
And when I was flying home in December, I wrote
a note on my phone and in capital letters. At
the top of the note, it said, these are just ideas.
You don't have to do any of them. This is
an ideas car park, And I made a car park
in my phone for ideas. And the first thing I
(22:18):
wrote down was comedy show where someone has to land
a plane, and I was like, oh, that's real cool,
and I've just been like working on that for six months.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
You wrote that on a plane.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
On a plane plane maxing no n And I had
to keep that one real low key. But yeah, I
don't know. It's just like just trying to cut through
the noise with marketing because it's so oversaturated, people trying
to promote shows, people trying to plug stuff, and I think,
like the gorilla marketing buzz is real fun. I think
it's more like sexy and immediately rewarding than the actual
(22:46):
process of writing material or writing in the show. You know,
it's just a lot fun and like folding the sheet
up a hill is going to be a lot more
rewarding than grafting and writing the material. So what I
would often do is I would like market a show,
Philip bunch of seats and then be like, I should
have got to write some now, But I did it
the other way around this year, where I like, I
wrote a show like I'm real proud of and then
(23:07):
I did the plane stunt and the plane stunt didn't
take off. Excuse the pun, but I'm like, at least
I have like a decent show.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Now.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, that's that. I find that super interesting. You've come
at year, You're totally coming at it from a from
a different way. Is it tricky when you have such
a massive success early with something like folding a sheet? Yeah?
Is that hard sometimes because you're chasing the sheet, you know,
like because that was so successful. Yeah, you're always thinking
(23:36):
what's the next sheet?
Speaker 5 (23:38):
No? Yeah, that is such a good question. And it's
something I've been thinking about recently as it's like I'm
only five years into comedy and you know, having a
thousand people cheering me on up a hill and coming
to see a show that that doesn't really happen at
the four year mark, right, and so this year, because
it hasn't happened, there is that comparison to last year.
But it's like I just have to reframe it and
(23:58):
be like, oh, I realistically did get real lucky with
a good idea and some of the ideas will be
real cool and big, and some of them, you know,
iren Z gets involved and crushes your dreams. So it's
just kind of the nature of the beast in New Zealand.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
I'm afraid i Z crush dreams and they are the
dream crushes crushes of dreams that it was also part of, like, well,
I can't do another it can't be another domestic chore
related thing.
Speaker 5 (24:22):
Yeah, I mean I could have doubled down and done
it again, like comedically, that would have been pretty funny,
but I just thought, like.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
I think it'd be quite funny to do it now
after or like even in a few years, like he's back,
he's coming out.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
Of retirement, sheet reunion to all me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I think. Yeah, what I wanted to do. I thought
by doing the plane stunt, it would ask a question
and then people would want to find an answer. And
when the tiktoks and read it post went up, everyone
in the comments were saying, oh is that from MH
three seventy And it's like I knew that I wouldn't
have to mention that. I knew people would come to
(24:55):
their own conclusion, and like I say, you know, gave
the authorities a heads up, so no one was like,
actually concerned.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I haven't actually don't deploy the certain rescue tow Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Yeah, that's like my main KPI is not getting them involved.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Yeah, but it can be an interesting area. I mean,
because I think artistically a lot of people they they
will narrow it down into an area like yeah, as
man I is pointing out domestic yes, chores.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Well, I'm a known folder of towels. Is one of
my it's one of my nice great skills.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
The teeth.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Neither I have a rolling technique.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Okay, yeah that roller.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
I'm a roller.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Have we got a towelz is it to get a
towel in here? So there's a bunch of times and
I can show down how he how he rolls a towel. Yeah,
there is I'm out here that was always standing by
someone I can competal.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
As with army technique or something. The roller.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
It could be.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
It's great for the beach because it keeps keeps the
integrity of the towel that stays in one time. I mean,
you can throw this thing and it'll stay, it'll stay folded.
What the problem is you become a holden to. It
becomes an albatross around your nick because now I'm in
charge of folding every towel that I even come across.
Is that happened with you in sheets?
Speaker 5 (26:09):
I dude, I ended up landing after we spoke last July.
I ended up landing a brand deal with a sheet
company in Australia. So I was their brand ambassador and
I ended up paying rent for like three months with
Sheet Society in Australia and send me sheet.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
That's my dream. Can you put me onto those guys?
I've always wanted to have a sheet sponsorship also here
that's what it looks.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
That's the you had one of these in the studio
ready to go.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
Yeah, I was happy to.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Bring it up. That's what would have happened.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
If we didn't have this conversation this morning, you would
have just had this in a bag. It's that is
that is unreal?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Yeah, I can do it pretty emasculated.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
I'm not gonna lie bro like I likes folding.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
I didn't bring out and he're just the one, but
you have and if you'd like to and like again
like that'll keep it.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Wow, And it fell on the and I just dropped
it on the ground that sweats, and it works best
with a crusty towel.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Like this one.
Speaker 5 (27:05):
Yeah, yeah, you do prefer crusty towel or a soft owl.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Crusty, crusty towl.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
I'm a crusty towel, crusty towel.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah. There is a sweet spot between krusty and soft
that you can operate, particularly if you're using fair for
fabricks soft fabric soft. Yeah, and.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
We can get it.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
You can bring a krusty back. How krusty is that?
That's actually one of my old ones here. Crusty is
that thing? Oh, that's that's going to dry you dry?
Count that pang there.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
But I will say they don't dry themselves very well.
A crusty towel, it'll dry you and then you basically
need a new towel at that point, whereas a new
soft one you'll get three or four out of there.
Speaker 5 (27:43):
But the krusty one is also like an exfoliant, isn't
it It is? That's the benefit of it. You're also
like one.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
And you chuck that crusty on a heated towel rail,
that'll crust right back up here and it'll crust up
crust up even believe it. It is not a believer
in heated towel rail.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
No, well, I'm a believer in heated towel rails. But
when I see things like my power bill that's coming
in the last couple of days, there's just no way
that me or my family are going to be venturing
into the wonderful world of heated tower rails unless we
go to Airbnb or a motel.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I mean, I think it's a small luxury and it's
a small price to pay. I mean, what are we talking,
what are we talking? A month on top of the
power pennies fifteen twenty bucks?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I reckon, I reckon, you're looking fifty or sixty bucks
right behind running. Two of those in my house.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Are fifty bucks a month.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Fifty or sixty bucks.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Can you just buy more towels for that cost and
always have a dry water? Isn't that the idea? But
then you just hang them up. I've got a very
good resume of hanging them up. I hang them up
over the side of the shower.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Doesn't and it doesn't do the track, So hang on
the winter. This isn't what you came in to do,
but it's all good.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
So you squeegey your shower door every day and then
hang a dirty towel.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Gets it gets squeeged twas a day, once by myself,
once by.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
This is right, and there hanging a dirty see this
is right.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I can't I can't buy it a towel, a shower
squeege you now, I can't bite it well.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
But then I can't understand how you do tail anyway, Dan,
that's not what you came in here to discuss Rutter's
disgusting hygiene habits. So you're playing at the New Zealand
Comedy Fist this month.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Yeah, from Wednesday to Saturday this week doing my first Auckland.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:17):
From tonight my first Auckland solo run at Q Theater,
nine thirty pm. Whose arm would I have to twist
to get you in a flight? Some Jerry a flight simulator? Yeah,
to see if you could land a seven three seven.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Hilary Barry's mine, Hillary Barry, My Hilary Barry. She I
you know what, she'd land a plane. I wouldn't be surprised.
She can drive a car, that woman. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Oh, they're letting women do all sorts nowadays. Crazy, they'll
be voting next.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
She can drive a car. Yeah, she can shoot a
gap at a if there's some traffic, she can shoot
a gap.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
Do we know if she's crusty or soft towel?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Well, I know this for actually because I know reasonably
well she's actually her own she's a crusty towel.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Yeah, she likes a crusty she understand.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
I like the cut of her gym.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
You're going to be voting in the election this year
or is she not allowed to do that?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Should be OK, She'll be voting. It's good.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
I'm glad.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah, she's not a She's not a shower squeege here,
no part of the shower squeegee community. I think if
you found a group of one hundred New Zealanders and
you put them all in a room and you said, right,
all the shower squeege is you guys all hang out together,
and the rest of you hang out together, and you're
gonna have to hang out with those people all not
you have a very small group, and you the conversation
(30:30):
to dry up real quick.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Quicker than your toels. We could lock them up as well.
The bit handywether jerious.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
Theories for tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Any People, Squeegeye Towels New Zealand, Squeege the Shower, Dan
shows coming up. Hey Dan, thanks for coming out, Thank
you for having me.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
Guys, It's yeah, it's cool chatting shop and hopefully next
year the promo promo will Land will go bigger, might
be might be rolling towels on a beach or someone
will see how we go up. I've met the expert.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I can do it. Thanks Jan, Jerry and Maniah.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Catch the radio show from six tow ten weekdays, The
Hadaky Breakfast