August 5, 2026 • 15 mins
Today on the Pod the guys chat about how cold it is, swift justice and monkeys!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio
show The HURDARKI Breakfast Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Welcome to the first Bite of the Cherry, the first
podcast to see the sun, the first to see in
a new day, the day of Our Lord, the sixth
of August twenty twenty six. Currently outside here in Auckland,
the coldest day of the year.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
One point seven degrees that's in minus two of night.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Yeah, ruder minus one full ice on the window this
morning in the room you're in Auckland.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I had the same and for the first time we
talked about it last week. For the first time, poured
water over and refroze. Oh so yeah. That was crazy.
On top of that, and I know not to do
this outside of my house, but there's a guy one
of my neighbors, and he boxes me in so hard
every time, and I'm like, brother, come on, like, I'll
(00:50):
park you know, with enough room this you can easily
park three casts. I mean, the swift takes up a
meter and a half yep, but he will just back
ride up, basically bumping a bumper. And then in the
morning I've poured the water over, then the ice starts refreezing.
I can't see the cars either side of me, and
I'm going to try and extricate myself. Thankfully, the swift
(01:11):
could basically drive sideways. It's that small.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
So how are you meant to administer swift justice? I
mean say this, I say the Suzuki sign goes up
and it's a frosty morning, for example, and you're asleep,
and you wake because you know that you need to
go and to minister swift justice, and you need to
turn from mild mannered daytime well breakfast host. But I
stew it into swift justice when the signal goes up
(01:36):
and it's frosty like this, What the how are you
going to do?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
These are just limitations of swift justice nd it. You know,
Batman would just take off he's got into a parking.
That's true in his cave there, and as well, Yeah, me,
I'm tripping up, tripping over the cat gun down the stairs.
Now my neighbors box me in.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, And if there's been some rain before that, then
sometimes you're going to put gun boots on because.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The drain clog's next to my house and I can't
get into the car because it's in the middle of
a lake.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Do we need to crowdfund after we finished crowd sourcing
for the chart to do something about I don't know,
create some kind of easier way a garage system for
Swift Justice.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
You just get a garage, I think would be the go.
You've got room for a garage though, Matt, No, but like, no,
I don't. There is a car park at the back
of our house. Maybe I could buy one of those
parks off one of my neighbors.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Well, we can crowd fund. You shouldn't be buying it
Swift Justice.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
And then just like an easy up tent you know
three by three that you'd see down at the farmer's
market or a family of South African's cooking a briy
under n be it's out Christmas and chuck one of
those out there. And when I'm not using it, You're
more than welcome to come and fire you bry Bright
(02:55):
out there. Maybe Yeah, like a crowd fund of the
South African diaspora on the North Shore. Guys, here's a
half price easy up that we can.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
All get under. Well, they love swift Justice too. They
love swift justice. They need they need swift justice. Some
of the things that they've seen.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
They have a strong sense of justice.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah, carjackings, carjackings.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I worked with the South African gentleman who he had
bars on his windows in Jannsburg. One morning he woke
up to this noise out the window, obviously the fenced
in the whole house and the compound compound. Yeah, and
someone had got into the compound with a carjack and
put the carjack between the bars on the windows and
(03:38):
was cranking the fucking bars openspreat people.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
To get inside to administer swift justice.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Also like horror movie shit swift injustice. Yeah, and he
had no one to call, whereas if only he could
have called swift Justice, I the I would have done,
And I got the sort of more like low range
road range incidents.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Do you need to start in international branch Swift Justice
South Africa because that sounds far more fucking dangerous than
Swift Justice North Thrill.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, yeah, I'll franchise that, I think. Yeah, don't go.
I'm not with the New Zealand specialist. They sort of
understand the culture here.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Do you remember the urban myth that went around in
the late nineties that there were so many carjackings that
BMW had made cars with flame throwers on the side
of them in South Africa. Do you remember that? Do
you remember that rumor?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I remember hearing that they actually had things that come
out the side of the car and have the little
spinning saw wheels. Oh I remember here from under ye,
from underneath the car. I've heard that before. But yeah,
I've heard the flame throwers. And you've got to be kided.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
You've got to lock your car, lock your doors when
you're driving.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah. I made at school, moved over from South Africa,
and he said his uncle was getting carjacked and he
pulled his cellphone out and held it like a gun
and the carjacker rand he just like pulled it out
and pulled it at him and the car. Yeah, well
that that's true. Can work one or two ways, can't it.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, because if the carjack has got a gun and the
guard katjag might shoot you at that point.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, put a cabin. Yes, there was another one where
this this gentleman who had the bars on his window.
He also had a like a the way he described
it was like a cabbage tree sort of in his backyard,
quite a tall one, and one summer a bunch of
baboon spiders. My brew moved into the cabbage tree and
it was like an infestation. These things he was saying
(05:26):
were as big as your hand, and he was just
like they started like coming in the house and he'd
see like one or two and then he's just like
fucking hour. And in the end he like he's living
in an urban area, and he lit the tree on
fire because he's like, I can't I can't have these
spiders like good, good, good move. What are you gonna do? Yeah,
(05:47):
what are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I mean, because what you can't exactly raid them, you
know more teen or hit them with the old pe
bow because no, no, no, is that gonna kill them? Probably not?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
They?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Ah the fuck got Our wild life is so pathetic
in New Zealand. It's so passive.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
If I'm staying here, if I'm so just this, Yeah,
it's great.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I mean, we a few birds that always run away
from you. I quite like the birds not to run
away actually, but they for some reason all think that
we're going to kill.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Them, kill them.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Well, then we have killed them in the past. I
suppose I'm not interested in killing some of these birds. Now,
pigeons have kind of worked it out that we're not
not really trying.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
To kill them.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
We were trying to kill pigeons.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Actually, seagulls are like, you're not going to get me,
but I want your food.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, but seagulls, you still walk towards the seagull and
they'll still take off. There's a pigeonal hang for just
a little bit longer.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Oh, if you're an unhoused gentleman with a bag of
bread crumbs, you know they'll land on you. There's a
guy that does it around the corner from my house.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
On the pigeon, pigeons done well.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Pigeon pageon hardy.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Pigeons have done well from humans.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Let me tell you that's pooky coat. They're hearty as
far as our native species are generally pussies.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, but the puke.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah, that that that could survive an urban urban sprawl.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I trying to work out the other day why we
never bought monkeys into New Zealand, because you know, over
in Indonesia heaps and monkeys. In fact, the last place
that we're staying at was every day a maraudering group
of monkeys came through every single afternoon. Yeah, and they
were there were there were big ones, small ones, baby
ones little cuties they were holding onto mum. There were
(07:28):
ones that were ruders r O O t R. Yeah.
There were ones that currents enjoyed, females enjoying a bit
of action, presenting carjackers. No carjackers. But they did always
try and get inside. So if you left the if
you left your bouret sort of thing open, then they
would That's that's cultural misappropriation that I've done there, but
(07:52):
they would they come in and investigate. And one day,
Hugo the Muppet left the door open, and sure enough
and they came twe yeah, man did day brutal. They
come through like like a group actually, reminding me of
a group of six year old boys at a at
(08:14):
a six year old birthday party.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Jerry and Manaia joined the Conflate the Hardaki Breakfast discussion
group on Facebook. For more Jerry me Wells and Manaia
Stuart find them on Instagram at Hodaki Breakfast.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
If you want to get if you want to get
your house ruined, invite twenty five sex year olds over
for a house for a birthday party. And my god,
those six year olds they pick up everything, put it down,
pick it up, pick it up, put it up. They
can run a house real quickly.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
I enjoyed them. I spend the morning a little bit
dusty in Indonesia, Bali, and there was a massive tree
about one hundred meters away and it was raining that
day and the berg Daddy monkey had climbed to the
top of the tree was just sitting on a branch.
It'd taken a leaf up. What he was holding the
leaf over his head and just sitting there in the
(09:02):
rain and like looking out.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
To the view.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I had a leaf, Yeah, he had a leaf just
covering his head. And then I was just sitting next
to the pool watching him, and we just had a moment.
We sat there for honestly almost an hour. It was
so relaxing just watching this monkey.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah. They're so human, like yeah, yeah, creepy fucking things. Monkey.
So they worked No, you shouldn't ever trust that.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
They know way too much.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Oh, they're smart, and they they know that where pussies. Yeah,
that's the thing. They've worked it out. And they actually,
oddly enough, they know the size of you determines what
sort of pussy you are. Like they'll have a crack
at a kid. They'll also go females. Yeah, over males.
I have had any females don't like them. The males
(09:48):
were all the male staff at this resort that I
was at, were the ones that chase the way the females.
They were not scared of the females at all.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Yeah, right, if I was, if I was working someplace
that had monkey, he is like that. I reckon once
a day I'd buy a monkey, like a stuffed toy
that looked like a monkey size appropriate, and once a
day I'd go out into the yard where they could
all see me and just beat the fuck out of
that teddy beer and and you know, and then just
walk back in and hopefully that's enough that they.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I mean, good technic. I think that's smart enough that
they'll be like, why is that guy bringing out that
teddy beer?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
A teddy beer's probably a puss.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
If they turn up with four or five other monkeys
and they fucking have you, Yeah, well, that guy kills
a monkey every day, fucking.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I think you probably need to turn to They had
a thing that was like this kind of pretend gun thing,
and the guy would come out and go and they'd
go and they'd take off. And I think someone in
the past has got a gun and gone and shot one. Yeah,
and they've that that bit of informations worked its way
(10:54):
down through the ages. Yeah, you know they'll share that generation.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Watch out with the boom Stoke brother see that.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And I'd make it for instant green or something or
something like weird.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Okay, God's he's got the thing, yeah, the fire stick yep.
Yeah yeah. Well again this is why swift Justice only
stays in New Zealand. I don't have to deal with
any wildlife anywhere.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
And you're not armed, are you? Swift justice.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
It's just more of a vibe thing habout swift justice
could have done with swift justice. What happened out in
South Auckland. Yeah, that was crazy. So he so he
was beating someone up on the side of the road
and then someone pulled up in a car to deliver
some swift justice and took their car, hit those cards
with the car and then the craziest part choked the
(11:39):
dog out.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
With no pens on. He had no pens on.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
The well, dogs don't wear pants. The guy he had
no pans Jesus Christ. So just yeah, that that's violent.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
That's the thing, just wolent. It tells you the kind
of the state that just.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
To hop out choke a dog.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, not not thinking correctly.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Can I give a shout out to the Herald because
apparently someone filmed the dog killing incident. Send it to
the Herald, and the Herald like, we we're not We're
not putting this up because it's fucked.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
We're not in the business. Yeah, we're not.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
The business of sensationalizing things that have happened, really bad
events that have occurred to people. Yeah, they don't never
want to highlight them.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Or if they have a down.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Day in terms of website traffic, maybe it'll get out.
If someone's filmed it, someone's got it, it'll get out
and it'll be fucking gross. Did you know they had
CCTV of the five cyclists getting no as well? That
was that was on stuff, But they cut that segment
(12:47):
of it. It's like watch here as blah blah blah
unfolds and then they cut.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
It and see that they can't help themselves, Like can
they They've still got to try and get clicks out
of that horrible event.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Well, you know they'll be in the news room. Gun,
someone's getting clicks out of this. You know, someone else's
posting this, So why can't we We've got to go first. Yeah,
that's right, go hard and go early. The amount of
people that when Tom Pitty died.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Do you remember that day when Tom Pitty died, Because
it came through that Tom Pitty died, and then it
came through that he hadn't died, he'd just gone to hospital,
but then he'd had a heart attack and then he
was in critical condition. We did, and it was over
the course of about three hours, and then it was like,
and now he's dead. It was a weird one, man.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I remember the Michael Jackson one that was that was
people confused on that one for a while too, I guess,
because everybody's got to try and be first to the
piece of news. But also, you can't confirm that someone's
died until you've had the confirmation that they've died, and.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
They've all written the articles, so it's not like he
dies and then they write down the articles there and
then they're just waiting to go. I yeah, A born
witness to a newsroom jumping the gun on that where
someone was in a critical condition and they had written
their article and they just posted it. They woke up
the next morning was like yeah, blow and then the
family's like, do you mind he's still alive. It's fucking
(14:11):
It's like, what's it worth to you? Is it just that,
like you know someone this is this is actually happening
to someone. Does everything have to.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Be thank you? Thank you? And then I mean then
you get the people that are just waiting getting the
Tom Pitty photo that they got when they interviewed Tom
Peter for the two eighteen and it would have been
twenty twelve, and then they yeah, chuck it up there,
ri ip great man.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Hashtag running down the room. Yeah yeah, hashtagg free falling
with the Angel's brother.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yep. I still haven't posted my Sam Neil Zoe Hobbs. No,
I haven't posted myself. I haven't posted. I haven't posted
a Ryan Fox.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
No.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I haven't posted my Ryan Foxy.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Anyone else achieved anything that I can make about myself recently.
You know what I'd like to see people that do
bad stuff, people that people that are in the news
for batteries government of watch that post. You'll post your
photo with him and me and the guy with no pants,
me and the guy with no pants to chuck the dog.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Death Harvey Weinstein. This was me when I met Harvey Weinstein.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Hashtag sorry it doesn't happen.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
We're still Jerry and Manaiah.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Catch the radio show from six till ten weekdays, The
Hadarchy Breakfast
Daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio
show The HURDARKI Breakfast Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Welcome to the first Bite of the Cherry, the first
podcast to see the sun, the first to see in
a new day, the day of Our Lord, the sixth
of August twenty twenty six. Currently outside here in Auckland,
the coldest day of the year.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
One point seven degrees that's in minus two of night.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Yeah, ruder minus one full ice on the window this
morning in the room you're in Auckland.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I had the same and for the first time we
talked about it last week. For the first time, poured
water over and refroze. Oh so yeah. That was crazy.
On top of that, and I know not to do
this outside of my house, but there's a guy one
of my neighbors, and he boxes me in so hard
every time, and I'm like, brother, come on, like, I'll
(00:50):
park you know, with enough room this you can easily
park three casts. I mean, the swift takes up a
meter and a half yep, but he will just back
ride up, basically bumping a bumper. And then in the
morning I've poured the water over, then the ice starts refreezing.
I can't see the cars either side of me, and
I'm going to try and extricate myself. Thankfully, the swift
(01:11):
could basically drive sideways. It's that small.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
So how are you meant to administer swift justice? I
mean say this, I say the Suzuki sign goes up
and it's a frosty morning, for example, and you're asleep,
and you wake because you know that you need to
go and to minister swift justice, and you need to
turn from mild mannered daytime well breakfast host. But I
stew it into swift justice when the signal goes up
(01:36):
and it's frosty like this, What the how are you
going to do?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
These are just limitations of swift justice nd it. You know,
Batman would just take off he's got into a parking.
That's true in his cave there, and as well, Yeah, me,
I'm tripping up, tripping over the cat gun down the stairs.
Now my neighbors box me in.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, And if there's been some rain before that, then
sometimes you're going to put gun boots on because.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The drain clog's next to my house and I can't
get into the car because it's in the middle of
a lake.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Do we need to crowdfund after we finished crowd sourcing
for the chart to do something about I don't know,
create some kind of easier way a garage system for
Swift Justice.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
You just get a garage, I think would be the go.
You've got room for a garage though, Matt, No, but like, no,
I don't. There is a car park at the back
of our house. Maybe I could buy one of those
parks off one of my neighbors.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Well, we can crowd fund. You shouldn't be buying it
Swift Justice.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
And then just like an easy up tent you know
three by three that you'd see down at the farmer's
market or a family of South African's cooking a briy
under n be it's out Christmas and chuck one of
those out there. And when I'm not using it, You're
more than welcome to come and fire you bry Bright
(02:55):
out there. Maybe Yeah, like a crowd fund of the
South African diaspora on the North Shore. Guys, here's a
half price easy up that we can.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
All get under. Well, they love swift Justice too. They
love swift justice. They need they need swift justice. Some
of the things that they've seen.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
They have a strong sense of justice.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah, carjackings, carjackings.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I worked with the South African gentleman who he had
bars on his windows in Jannsburg. One morning he woke
up to this noise out the window, obviously the fenced
in the whole house and the compound compound. Yeah, and
someone had got into the compound with a carjack and
put the carjack between the bars on the windows and
(03:38):
was cranking the fucking bars openspreat people.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
To get inside to administer swift justice.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Also like horror movie shit swift injustice. Yeah, and he
had no one to call, whereas if only he could
have called swift Justice, I the I would have done,
And I got the sort of more like low range
road range incidents.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Do you need to start in international branch Swift Justice
South Africa because that sounds far more fucking dangerous than
Swift Justice North Thrill.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, yeah, I'll franchise that, I think. Yeah, don't go.
I'm not with the New Zealand specialist. They sort of
understand the culture here.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Do you remember the urban myth that went around in
the late nineties that there were so many carjackings that
BMW had made cars with flame throwers on the side
of them in South Africa. Do you remember that? Do
you remember that rumor?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I remember hearing that they actually had things that come
out the side of the car and have the little
spinning saw wheels. Oh I remember here from under ye,
from underneath the car. I've heard that before. But yeah,
I've heard the flame throwers. And you've got to be kided.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
You've got to lock your car, lock your doors when
you're driving.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah. I made at school, moved over from South Africa,
and he said his uncle was getting carjacked and he
pulled his cellphone out and held it like a gun
and the carjacker rand he just like pulled it out
and pulled it at him and the car. Yeah, well
that that's true. Can work one or two ways, can't it.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, because if the carjack has got a gun and the
guard katjag might shoot you at that point.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, put a cabin. Yes, there was another one where
this this gentleman who had the bars on his window.
He also had a like a the way he described
it was like a cabbage tree sort of in his backyard,
quite a tall one, and one summer a bunch of
baboon spiders. My brew moved into the cabbage tree and
it was like an infestation. These things he was saying
(05:26):
were as big as your hand, and he was just
like they started like coming in the house and he'd
see like one or two and then he's just like
fucking hour. And in the end he like he's living
in an urban area, and he lit the tree on
fire because he's like, I can't I can't have these
spiders like good, good, good move. What are you gonna do? Yeah,
(05:47):
what are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I mean, because what you can't exactly raid them, you
know more teen or hit them with the old pe
bow because no, no, no, is that gonna kill them? Probably not?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
They?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Ah the fuck got Our wild life is so pathetic
in New Zealand. It's so passive.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
If I'm staying here, if I'm so just this, Yeah,
it's great.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I mean, we a few birds that always run away
from you. I quite like the birds not to run
away actually, but they for some reason all think that
we're going to kill.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Them, kill them.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Well, then we have killed them in the past. I
suppose I'm not interested in killing some of these birds. Now,
pigeons have kind of worked it out that we're not
not really trying.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
To kill them.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
We were trying to kill pigeons.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Actually, seagulls are like, you're not going to get me,
but I want your food.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, but seagulls, you still walk towards the seagull and
they'll still take off. There's a pigeonal hang for just
a little bit longer.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Oh, if you're an unhoused gentleman with a bag of
bread crumbs, you know they'll land on you. There's a
guy that does it around the corner from my house.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
On the pigeon, pigeons done well.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Pigeon pageon hardy.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Pigeons have done well from humans.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Let me tell you that's pooky coat. They're hearty as
far as our native species are generally pussies.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, but the puke.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah, that that that could survive an urban urban sprawl.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I trying to work out the other day why we
never bought monkeys into New Zealand, because you know, over
in Indonesia heaps and monkeys. In fact, the last place
that we're staying at was every day a maraudering group
of monkeys came through every single afternoon. Yeah, and they
were there were there were big ones, small ones, baby
ones little cuties they were holding onto mum. There were
(07:28):
ones that were ruders r O O t R. Yeah.
There were ones that currents enjoyed, females enjoying a bit
of action, presenting carjackers. No carjackers. But they did always
try and get inside. So if you left the if
you left your bouret sort of thing open, then they
would That's that's cultural misappropriation that I've done there, but
(07:52):
they would they come in and investigate. And one day,
Hugo the Muppet left the door open, and sure enough
and they came twe yeah, man did day brutal. They
come through like like a group actually, reminding me of
a group of six year old boys at a at
(08:14):
a six year old birthday party.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Jerry and Manaia joined the Conflate the Hardaki Breakfast discussion
group on Facebook. For more Jerry me Wells and Manaia
Stuart find them on Instagram at Hodaki Breakfast.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
If you want to get if you want to get
your house ruined, invite twenty five sex year olds over
for a house for a birthday party. And my god,
those six year olds they pick up everything, put it down,
pick it up, pick it up, put it up. They
can run a house real quickly.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
I enjoyed them. I spend the morning a little bit
dusty in Indonesia, Bali, and there was a massive tree
about one hundred meters away and it was raining that
day and the berg Daddy monkey had climbed to the
top of the tree was just sitting on a branch.
It'd taken a leaf up. What he was holding the
leaf over his head and just sitting there in the
(09:02):
rain and like looking out.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
To the view.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I had a leaf, Yeah, he had a leaf just
covering his head. And then I was just sitting next
to the pool watching him, and we just had a moment.
We sat there for honestly almost an hour. It was
so relaxing just watching this monkey.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah. They're so human, like yeah, yeah, creepy fucking things. Monkey.
So they worked No, you shouldn't ever trust that.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
They know way too much.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Oh, they're smart, and they they know that where pussies. Yeah,
that's the thing. They've worked it out. And they actually,
oddly enough, they know the size of you determines what
sort of pussy you are. Like they'll have a crack
at a kid. They'll also go females. Yeah, over males.
I have had any females don't like them. The males
(09:48):
were all the male staff at this resort that I
was at, were the ones that chase the way the females.
They were not scared of the females at all.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Yeah, right, if I was, if I was working someplace
that had monkey, he is like that. I reckon once
a day I'd buy a monkey, like a stuffed toy
that looked like a monkey size appropriate, and once a
day I'd go out into the yard where they could
all see me and just beat the fuck out of
that teddy beer and and you know, and then just
walk back in and hopefully that's enough that they.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I mean, good technic. I think that's smart enough that
they'll be like, why is that guy bringing out that
teddy beer?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
A teddy beer's probably a puss.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
If they turn up with four or five other monkeys
and they fucking have you, Yeah, well, that guy kills
a monkey every day, fucking.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I think you probably need to turn to They had
a thing that was like this kind of pretend gun thing,
and the guy would come out and go and they'd
go and they'd take off. And I think someone in
the past has got a gun and gone and shot one. Yeah,
and they've that that bit of informations worked its way
(10:54):
down through the ages. Yeah, you know they'll share that generation.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Watch out with the boom Stoke brother see that.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And I'd make it for instant green or something or
something like weird.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Okay, God's he's got the thing, yeah, the fire stick yep.
Yeah yeah. Well again this is why swift Justice only
stays in New Zealand. I don't have to deal with
any wildlife anywhere.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
And you're not armed, are you? Swift justice.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
It's just more of a vibe thing habout swift justice
could have done with swift justice. What happened out in
South Auckland. Yeah, that was crazy. So he so he
was beating someone up on the side of the road
and then someone pulled up in a car to deliver
some swift justice and took their car, hit those cards
with the car and then the craziest part choked the
(11:39):
dog out.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
With no pens on. He had no pens on.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
The well, dogs don't wear pants. The guy he had
no pans Jesus Christ. So just yeah, that that's violent.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
That's the thing, just wolent. It tells you the kind
of the state that just.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
To hop out choke a dog.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, not not thinking correctly.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Can I give a shout out to the Herald because
apparently someone filmed the dog killing incident. Send it to
the Herald, and the Herald like, we we're not We're
not putting this up because it's fucked.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
We're not in the business. Yeah, we're not.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
The business of sensationalizing things that have happened, really bad
events that have occurred to people. Yeah, they don't never
want to highlight them.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Or if they have a down.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Day in terms of website traffic, maybe it'll get out.
If someone's filmed it, someone's got it, it'll get out
and it'll be fucking gross. Did you know they had
CCTV of the five cyclists getting no as well? That
was that was on stuff, But they cut that segment
(12:47):
of it. It's like watch here as blah blah blah
unfolds and then they cut.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
It and see that they can't help themselves, Like can
they They've still got to try and get clicks out
of that horrible event.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Well, you know they'll be in the news room. Gun,
someone's getting clicks out of this. You know, someone else's
posting this, So why can't we We've got to go first. Yeah,
that's right, go hard and go early. The amount of
people that when Tom Pitty died.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Do you remember that day when Tom Pitty died, Because
it came through that Tom Pitty died, and then it
came through that he hadn't died, he'd just gone to hospital,
but then he'd had a heart attack and then he
was in critical condition. We did, and it was over
the course of about three hours, and then it was like,
and now he's dead. It was a weird one, man.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I remember the Michael Jackson one that was that was
people confused on that one for a while too, I guess,
because everybody's got to try and be first to the
piece of news. But also, you can't confirm that someone's
died until you've had the confirmation that they've died, and.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
They've all written the articles, so it's not like he
dies and then they write down the articles there and
then they're just waiting to go. I yeah, A born
witness to a newsroom jumping the gun on that where
someone was in a critical condition and they had written
their article and they just posted it. They woke up
the next morning was like yeah, blow and then the
family's like, do you mind he's still alive. It's fucking
(14:11):
It's like, what's it worth to you? Is it just that,
like you know someone this is this is actually happening
to someone. Does everything have to.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Be thank you? Thank you? And then I mean then
you get the people that are just waiting getting the
Tom Pitty photo that they got when they interviewed Tom
Peter for the two eighteen and it would have been
twenty twelve, and then they yeah, chuck it up there,
ri ip great man.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Hashtag running down the room. Yeah yeah, hashtagg free falling
with the Angel's brother.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yep. I still haven't posted my Sam Neil Zoe Hobbs. No,
I haven't posted myself. I haven't posted. I haven't posted
a Ryan Fox.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
No.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I haven't posted my Ryan Foxy.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Anyone else achieved anything that I can make about myself recently.
You know what I'd like to see people that do
bad stuff, people that people that are in the news
for batteries government of watch that post. You'll post your
photo with him and me and the guy with no pants,
me and the guy with no pants to chuck the dog.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Death Harvey Weinstein. This was me when I met Harvey Weinstein.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Hashtag sorry it doesn't happen.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
We're still Jerry and Manaiah.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Catch the radio show from six till ten weekdays, The
Hadarchy Breakfast
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