April 19, 2026 • 18 mins
Today on the pod the guys discuss cruel things that parents make their kids do for the entertainment of others, and introduce a new initiative where they read out a feral text sent through during the radio show.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio
show The DARKI Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Deep Teas for Friday.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
It's foot job Friday coming up, and it's Monday obviously today,
but later on the week foot job Friday, batting down
the hatches.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Have we ever been so prepared for anything in our lives?
Just last week we set the world record for the
deepest teas in history with Fake deck Friday. But that
was on a Monday. In the middle of that podcast,
we teased foot job Friday, which was an entire week away.
We don't know what we're doing on this podcast right now,
(00:34):
but what we do know is that on Friday it
will be foot job Friday.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Yeah, we know that. I mean, what's Friday. It's foot
job Friday. Yeah, it's Father's Day. I'll tell you what Sunday.
We know that.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
I'll tell you what I got on to met up
with some friends over the weekend and they were asking
me how work was going, and I was like, three words,
fake dick Friday. You couldn't have seen people more interested. Yeah,
and the topic. As soon as I said fact, They're like.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
What's hard to know exactly what that would mean?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
They wanted to brings.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Along a fact deck or you know, people with faket
decks get together on Friday, or time to get rid
of your deck and get a fake deck for Friday.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Is it a sexual thing? You'd have to assume that
it was being a sexual organ.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
But then even even the real story delivered.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And it wasn't and it wasn't nothing to do with
it. It wasn't sexual at all. Turns out it's just about
drug testing. Yeah, And if you haven't listened to that,
you've missed a doozy. So turn this podcast off and
go and listen to that podcast. A story that you
also told us off here the other day that I
that you actually never did tell us. This is something
that happens on the show every now and then, So
(01:41):
while the song's playing, often we're planning what's happening on
the show.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Oft oft we're planning things off with the Furies after
the podcast now anyway, we were talking about after four
what the dudes have No Mates? And Jerry gave us
an offt air teas, which is what happens where we
(02:05):
start running out of time. The song's about to finish.
We're in the middle of a yarn.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
We'll hold on and I'll tell you more after this
voice break, and then we have to go on here.
It's like two different radio shows going on at the
same time. And if it didn't endanger our careers, I
suggested the other day that this podcast that you're listening
to right now should just be we leave the MIC's
running twenty four seven and we just put what's happening
during the songs up as the podcast.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Very dangerous, I just, yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Pretty career limiting, it would be, and it was a
big editing job for someone because they're going to have
to go through each thing and just chop because there'll
be bits of silence as well.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah. But anyway, so the off teas that you gave
us that you never got to was no mates.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yeah. So when my when Hugo was little, he was
quite a good talker as a little kid. You know,
he's how little he's probably started talking when he was
about sixteen months, which we're not super young, but for
a boy is quite young. I think my daughter was
about fourteen. My Broughter's like a year or fourteen months,
and she could she was starting to say stuff, first words,
(03:09):
first words, her first word was Hugo's first word I
remember was flower. Wow, flower, You got your mama and
your dadd's, but they don't really count. This hints why
we have mama and dad is because that's the first
thing that you say as a kid, and mama da
papa is the word for dad. So many languages, Ya,
(03:33):
it makes a lot of sense. Yeah, Hugo's was flower.
And he used to he was like a parrot. You
say a word to me, just say it back to you.
But I trained him to say so. I'd say how
many mates have you got? And you go, no mates?
And he had this little cute little name mates name mate,
(04:00):
and so I that was my party track. I'd go,
you go, how many mates do you have? Any? Mates?
And it would always crack people up. But he had
no idea. He thought it was hilarious too, you know,
I'd say he would have been yeah, eighteen months maybe
a bit older. How many mates you got? Huggin the mates?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Why would you have mates at eighteen? But you don't
go anyo it?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, well we would you do?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
You ca them a loser? Losert?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Looking back now, I feel that little guy and you're
saying that he's got no mates. I feel I feel bad.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
But mates.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
No, he didn't have any mates. No, he had no mates.
Oh no, he did have mates.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
He had mates and candy.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
It was it was pre kindy at Plunket. Yeah, no,
he had mates. He's like, you know, we had family
friends and stuff with kids the same age, and he
was he was.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I didn't like him though. That's a problem.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
That's quite weird. Kids just play beside each other at
that age. They don't really interact, and they just sort
of they'll grab a toy off the other cat and
then the other it'll cry or something.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You know, do you do that to things?
Speaker 3 (05:02):
And when you meet those kids about sixteen years later,
and again, do you remember you guys used to play together.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, my parents do that.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Always friends gry up. I just always told you tell
the kids that. In fact, even when they're getting a
bit older. I was like, you guys just played together.
So many of you guys who loved each other from
the moment you were literally you looked after each other.
And they really believe that story now, and I think
it actually works. It pulls them, pulls them.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Together, get a bit of an indoctrination there. Yeah, it's
quite funny though, calling a kid telling the kid they
got no mates, mate, It's like call them my cat
a virgin.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Is well, you don't know that is a boy.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
He is a boy.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
You don't know he's a virgin.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
He's a virgin. What do you know this is?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I'm following him around the whole time.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
There's a certain certain things he does. I can tell
he's had his nuts chop his head has had his
nuts chopped out. Yeah, so he's not really interested in
it anymore. Nah, he's a bit.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
The other thing has been when you become awathy of
pet's naked, no sex, no six, no clothes.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Don't teach a what eighteen months old?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
That?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
No, I don't teach them.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
No.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
It's funny what parents do to use their children to
entertain other people and parties. I knew, I knew someone
that they as a punishment if the kid.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Was bad, what they would do is.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
They had a massive gorilla, a massive stuffed gorilla. And
if the kid was ever bad, they're like, do you
want me to bring mister gorilla out?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And no, no, mister gorilla, mister gorilla.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
But every now and again people would come over and
they'd be like, hey, can we see the mister gorilla
trip and they would traumatize that traumatize the child. Yeah,
and they'd be like and they'd be like, hey, I
can't remember what the kid's name was. Let's call him
and I just for arguments, Hey, little man, I come
over here. We just want to say hello. And then
they'll be like, oh, oh you little mister gorilla to
(07:03):
come out, and the kid would lose the fucking.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yet and that's kind of traumatized traumatic.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
They would chase the kid with mister grell.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Well, these were adults because my brother and his friend
Cameron May there. They used to have this fox, this
weird kind of fox thing, and I like it was
a real fox, but it must have been you know,
like yeah, oh no, I think that that. Women used
to hang like skins like animals around yeah fox. And
(07:31):
they used to call me into like a bedroom will
be dark, and then they just chuck this fox at me.
And I remember I must have been like five or six.
I was terrified of this thing, like it was I
was all and then they just taunt me with it.
They'll be like the fox is going to get and
I was really really freaked out. They would have been
like ten and I would have been five.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Oh right, sorry, yeah, that is a good I am
piece of parenting my father ever did. Now looking back
on it was you know, when you're a kid and
your parents have got friends around, and see you don't
want to go to bed. You know what I mean.
There's a bit of action, there's something happening, so you
want to stay up. And you know, when you want
to stay up, you are kind of trying to keep
(08:12):
your head down a little bit so that your parents
don't go, hey, what are you still doing? I'm go
to bed. And so he would get me to read
when him and his mates are on the pass. I
would read trivial pursuit cards to them, and I thought,
in my mind, if I just keep doing this, then
Dad won't send me a bid. And then they've all
of a sudden got someone to run their drinking games
for them.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And it was like an everyone wins situation. And I
thought I was pulling the wall over their eyes. But actually,
you know, as soften the case, that pulling the wall
over my mind.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
But you were also learning, because look, now you're a broadcaster.
This is early broadcasting training.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
It was early broadcasting, and you learn a lot off
a trivial pursuit cards because we did it so many times,
I basically memorize the arts.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
That's smart. I just reminded. I was just reminded when
you're talking about that gorilla story of a story that
I was told recently from a friend who used to
have a very strange fetish when he was like twelve,
where he would relieve himself into this gorilla, like, oh,
(09:10):
this this.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Is if I told you the story before. Definitely not okay.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Cheery Wells and Manaia Stuart find them on Instagram at
Hordaki Breakfast. Kerry and Mania joined the conflict the Hardaki
Breakfast discussion group on Facebook for more.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
So. He used to relieve himself into this gorilla. It
was his sister's. It was his sister's plushy, like his
sister's toy, not a real world.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Oh he was in a lowland gorilla that he was
just at twelve years old.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
He wasn't fossying, and and so he would and that
was and so anyway one and he would come home
from school and do it before she she apparently would
get home a little bit later. Went to a slightly
different school, and so one day he one day he
relieved himself and he got caught or something. Something happened.
(10:04):
He got caught relieving himself under the gorilla or something
and his no, his sister, that's right, his sister came home.
He relieved himself and the gorilla. His sister came home
and found the relief on the gorilla, and he'd relieved himself,
and then he went to sports practice or something, and
his sister was like, ah, his sister was terrified. He
went to sports practice. He came home from sports practice,
(10:26):
he walked into his lounge and his parents were there
with the sister and the gorilla sitting there, and they said,
what is this? What is this? And he went and
his sister's like crying, you do this into my gorilla?
And he's like he as parents are like, admit what
(10:50):
you've done in this guerrilla?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
And he had say what it was?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
And why have his sister with the gorilla there? And
he said, the weirdest thing was I was staring at
this gorilla that I'd been that I'd you know, year,
millions of times.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Oh my god. There was my next question, why the gorilla?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Why gorilla? I said, why the gorilla goes. I don't know,
it's just because it just became a habit. I'm like, okay,
isn't that bizarre.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
But then as a parent, why would you make yeah,
what's the one there? Surely that's just to put them
in again. I don't know, because but surely that's a
pull them aside. And hey, what even doing his sister's
gorilla that that's got to stop? And what are you
doing anyway?
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I mean, I think even if I was a parent,
I'd be like, oh, don't be silly, that'll just be
such and such, and I'll be like, okay, and then
i'd quietly go by, hey, I think you may just
let's not talk about it, but just so you know,
probably don't do that, and then go back to the
sister and go I don't think that was But and
then everything kind of smoothed everything over, like getting there
and then not only getting him calling a family meeting
(11:57):
over it, but then also putting the gorilla in the room,
like don't that doesn't need to sit there? No, he's
turned out to be quite a normal, lovely, you know,
totally normal, lovely person. So it's all worked out fine.
I don't know about the sister. I don't know how
she's going.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Imagine if you went into if you went around to
his house one day and you're just like, which is bathroom?
He does? Down the hallway, second door, on the lift,
you walk past his room and in the bedroom right
on the right, on the bed.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
There smiling at you.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
So anything else to mop up? Anything else I've got
to I've got a vaguely related gravy Train update.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It's probably not for the radio, but I just want to.
I wanted to run past you guys your gorillas to
private back and it's an interesting like when do you
stand on this? So obviously the operation Gravy Trains. I'm
just trying to get free shirts into it, right and
I so then I can post about it a brand
(12:58):
and I don't want to say who it is an
until you know, until we signed the contract. There's no contract,
what contract but this brand and I'll tell you who
that is down the track. But him and I we've
been listening to a very committed journey on riding the
gravy Train and would love to help you up your
influence status with a collab. If you're keen, we'd love
to chat more and throw a few ideas around.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Chips sounds like a yeah, it sounds like we got
ourselves a co lab and I says, yeap keen airs.
My missus loves your product, and I know my audience
considered me their north star fronterior design.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Let me know what you're thinking. And then I sent
three train emojis.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Well there's a little hint as to what it might be.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, yeah, And then I got an automated reply straight
off the back and it said, hello Mania Dot Stuart,
thanks so much for reaching out. We love collaborating with
our community.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
With our community, could you please.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Complete our content creator application? And then a link.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Hold on, but they came to you.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Hopefully you'll understand. Our team receives an overwhelming amount of
collaboration request so I always able to respond to every inquiry.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I was like, you, that's.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Exactly what I thought.
Speaker 6 (14:04):
I was like, I'm not going to sit here and
I'm going to sit here and fill this though I
know that will just turn you straight away because I
don't want to come across as this, so I just
left and I was like, you know what, that's probably
an automated reply.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
We'll see how you go, would you have filled that out?
Speaker 4 (14:22):
You know what sucks now, Well, one of the things
that sucks because of ai as, like maybe someone that
would listen to our show may go, oh, I've him
and I are talking about the gravy train and I'm
going to get in touch blah blah blah. But now
these companies that have these loggers that go through all
of the radio stations, all of the TV channels, and
it basically gets like a transcript of everything that's happened
(14:43):
on the show. So, for instance, last week, you guys
spoke really really quickly about mullets, and someone got in
touch and they're like, oh, we're blah blah blah from
pr agency. We heard Jerry and me and I a
talking about mullets. So immediately you're like, oh, it's a
fucking listener serio.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Yeah, there's software out there that's stone How good is that?
Speaker 4 (15:03):
And then is that yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
So does that work on podcasts?
Speaker 4 (15:06):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Commodore's bank lines new cars, a new house like a
backyard and like three bedrooms and what else? Still want
more new golf clothes? See that works?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Interesting mortgage interest free mortgage.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
A tree interest free mortgage one million free dollars, and
I replied to that person and then they said, grab
your email blah blah bah. So I replied to them
send my email through, and then I got the automated
reply again, could you please complete our content creater applications.
(15:48):
But anyway, yeah, someone would like to send Yestida my
because I posted that run thing. Yeah with the what
the you know that you can put the Strava thing
on top and so I'm sweating at the headiest photo
of me, and I put fitness brands reach out they
(16:10):
haven't yet. But then what happened was I posted that
taking the purse. But then I've just had like thousands
of really positive comments off the back of it, like, hey,
good work man, smer bodies are built in autumn, so
make sure and obviously.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Some bodies.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I have never heard that, and obviously grateful, but yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Someer bodies are built. That's true. Pugs, Pugs, they said
out a boy. Yeah it was Patty that said some
of bodies have made an order, brother, great job. I
was like, that's not what I was going for it,
That's not what I was going for here. And then
what I found out was that on that app Strava,
(16:55):
then people can see all the half pass runs you've
been doing on delete that. I think there might be
a setting that says share with people and you can
unshare that want to unshare that I don't need, but
also someone's going to come out there and bloody track
me down. Oh, speaking of sharing with people, I thought
on the podcast, each day we could share the text,
(17:16):
the most disgusting text that we couldn't read out on
here Jesus every day. Oh so we get something just
disgusting every single day, like from someone it's like and
we can finish on it just to leave you with
the sour taste in your mouth.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Have you gone yep?
Speaker 6 (17:28):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Does with hay lads, yep.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
This is talking about the competition that we're going to
do with the big Show. We're trying to work out
what that next one is. Has been a chat that
maybe it might be a sperm count So turn off
now if you if you if you don't like this
sort of stuff. Hey lads, this has come through on
the text machine ending in seven oh five this number.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Hay lads.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
The easiest way to check if the sperm counts high
is if she has to chew before she swallows. Cheers.
All Right, okay, there we go. There's a nice way
to end, doesn't it.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Jerry and Manaiah catch the radio show from six to
ten weekdays. The Hadaki Breakfast
Daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio
show The DARKI Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Deep Teas for Friday.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
It's foot job Friday coming up, and it's Monday obviously today,
but later on the week foot job Friday, batting down
the hatches.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Have we ever been so prepared for anything in our lives?
Just last week we set the world record for the
deepest teas in history with Fake deck Friday. But that
was on a Monday. In the middle of that podcast,
we teased foot job Friday, which was an entire week away.
We don't know what we're doing on this podcast right now,
(00:34):
but what we do know is that on Friday it
will be foot job Friday.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Yeah, we know that. I mean, what's Friday. It's foot
job Friday. Yeah, it's Father's Day. I'll tell you what Sunday.
We know that.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
I'll tell you what I got on to met up
with some friends over the weekend and they were asking
me how work was going, and I was like, three words,
fake dick Friday. You couldn't have seen people more interested. Yeah,
and the topic. As soon as I said fact, They're like.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
What's hard to know exactly what that would mean?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
They wanted to brings.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Along a fact deck or you know, people with faket
decks get together on Friday, or time to get rid
of your deck and get a fake deck for Friday.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Is it a sexual thing? You'd have to assume that
it was being a sexual organ.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
But then even even the real story delivered.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And it wasn't and it wasn't nothing to do with
it. It wasn't sexual at all. Turns out it's just about
drug testing. Yeah, And if you haven't listened to that,
you've missed a doozy. So turn this podcast off and
go and listen to that podcast. A story that you
also told us off here the other day that I
that you actually never did tell us. This is something
that happens on the show every now and then, So
(01:41):
while the song's playing, often we're planning what's happening on
the show.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Oft oft we're planning things off with the Furies after
the podcast now anyway, we were talking about after four
what the dudes have No Mates? And Jerry gave us
an offt air teas, which is what happens where we
(02:05):
start running out of time. The song's about to finish.
We're in the middle of a yarn.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
We'll hold on and I'll tell you more after this
voice break, and then we have to go on here.
It's like two different radio shows going on at the
same time. And if it didn't endanger our careers, I
suggested the other day that this podcast that you're listening
to right now should just be we leave the MIC's
running twenty four seven and we just put what's happening
during the songs up as the podcast.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Very dangerous, I just, yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Pretty career limiting, it would be, and it was a
big editing job for someone because they're going to have
to go through each thing and just chop because there'll
be bits of silence as well.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah. But anyway, so the off teas that you gave
us that you never got to was no mates.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yeah. So when my when Hugo was little, he was
quite a good talker as a little kid. You know,
he's how little he's probably started talking when he was
about sixteen months, which we're not super young, but for
a boy is quite young. I think my daughter was
about fourteen. My Broughter's like a year or fourteen months,
and she could she was starting to say stuff, first words,
(03:09):
first words, her first word was Hugo's first word I
remember was flower. Wow, flower, You got your mama and
your dadd's, but they don't really count. This hints why
we have mama and dad is because that's the first
thing that you say as a kid, and mama da
papa is the word for dad. So many languages, Ya,
(03:33):
it makes a lot of sense. Yeah, Hugo's was flower.
And he used to he was like a parrot. You
say a word to me, just say it back to you.
But I trained him to say so. I'd say how
many mates have you got? And you go, no mates?
And he had this little cute little name mates name mate,
(04:00):
and so I that was my party track. I'd go,
you go, how many mates do you have? Any? Mates?
And it would always crack people up. But he had
no idea. He thought it was hilarious too, you know,
I'd say he would have been yeah, eighteen months maybe
a bit older. How many mates you got? Huggin the mates?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Why would you have mates at eighteen? But you don't
go anyo it?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, well we would you do?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
You ca them a loser? Losert?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Looking back now, I feel that little guy and you're
saying that he's got no mates. I feel I feel bad.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
But mates.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
No, he didn't have any mates. No, he had no mates.
Oh no, he did have mates.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
He had mates and candy.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
It was it was pre kindy at Plunket. Yeah, no,
he had mates. He's like, you know, we had family
friends and stuff with kids the same age, and he
was he was.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I didn't like him though. That's a problem.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
That's quite weird. Kids just play beside each other at
that age. They don't really interact, and they just sort
of they'll grab a toy off the other cat and
then the other it'll cry or something.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You know, do you do that to things?
Speaker 3 (05:02):
And when you meet those kids about sixteen years later,
and again, do you remember you guys used to play together.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, my parents do that.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Always friends gry up. I just always told you tell
the kids that. In fact, even when they're getting a
bit older. I was like, you guys just played together.
So many of you guys who loved each other from
the moment you were literally you looked after each other.
And they really believe that story now, and I think
it actually works. It pulls them, pulls them.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Together, get a bit of an indoctrination there. Yeah, it's
quite funny though, calling a kid telling the kid they
got no mates, mate, It's like call them my cat
a virgin.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Is well, you don't know that is a boy.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
He is a boy.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
You don't know he's a virgin.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
He's a virgin. What do you know this is?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I'm following him around the whole time.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
There's a certain certain things he does. I can tell
he's had his nuts chop his head has had his
nuts chopped out. Yeah, so he's not really interested in
it anymore. Nah, he's a bit.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
The other thing has been when you become awathy of
pet's naked, no sex, no six, no clothes.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Don't teach a what eighteen months old?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
That?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
No, I don't teach them.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
No.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
It's funny what parents do to use their children to
entertain other people and parties. I knew, I knew someone
that they as a punishment if the kid.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Was bad, what they would do is.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
They had a massive gorilla, a massive stuffed gorilla. And
if the kid was ever bad, they're like, do you
want me to bring mister gorilla out?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And no, no, mister gorilla, mister gorilla.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
But every now and again people would come over and
they'd be like, hey, can we see the mister gorilla
trip and they would traumatize that traumatize the child. Yeah,
and they'd be like and they'd be like, hey, I
can't remember what the kid's name was. Let's call him
and I just for arguments, Hey, little man, I come
over here. We just want to say hello. And then
they'll be like, oh, oh you little mister gorilla to
(07:03):
come out, and the kid would lose the fucking.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yet and that's kind of traumatized traumatic.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
They would chase the kid with mister grell.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Well, these were adults because my brother and his friend
Cameron May there. They used to have this fox, this
weird kind of fox thing, and I like it was
a real fox, but it must have been you know,
like yeah, oh no, I think that that. Women used
to hang like skins like animals around yeah fox. And
(07:31):
they used to call me into like a bedroom will
be dark, and then they just chuck this fox at me.
And I remember I must have been like five or six.
I was terrified of this thing, like it was I
was all and then they just taunt me with it.
They'll be like the fox is going to get and
I was really really freaked out. They would have been
like ten and I would have been five.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Oh right, sorry, yeah, that is a good I am
piece of parenting my father ever did. Now looking back
on it was you know, when you're a kid and
your parents have got friends around, and see you don't
want to go to bed. You know what I mean.
There's a bit of action, there's something happening, so you
want to stay up. And you know, when you want
to stay up, you are kind of trying to keep
(08:12):
your head down a little bit so that your parents
don't go, hey, what are you still doing? I'm go
to bed. And so he would get me to read
when him and his mates are on the pass. I
would read trivial pursuit cards to them, and I thought,
in my mind, if I just keep doing this, then
Dad won't send me a bid. And then they've all
of a sudden got someone to run their drinking games
for them.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And it was like an everyone wins situation. And I
thought I was pulling the wall over their eyes. But actually,
you know, as soften the case, that pulling the wall
over my mind.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
But you were also learning, because look, now you're a broadcaster.
This is early broadcasting training.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
It was early broadcasting, and you learn a lot off
a trivial pursuit cards because we did it so many times,
I basically memorize the arts.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
That's smart. I just reminded. I was just reminded when
you're talking about that gorilla story of a story that
I was told recently from a friend who used to
have a very strange fetish when he was like twelve,
where he would relieve himself into this gorilla, like, oh,
(09:10):
this this.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Is if I told you the story before. Definitely not okay.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Cheery Wells and Manaia Stuart find them on Instagram at
Hordaki Breakfast. Kerry and Mania joined the conflict the Hardaki
Breakfast discussion group on Facebook for more.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
So. He used to relieve himself into this gorilla. It
was his sister's. It was his sister's plushy, like his
sister's toy, not a real world.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Oh he was in a lowland gorilla that he was
just at twelve years old.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
He wasn't fossying, and and so he would and that
was and so anyway one and he would come home
from school and do it before she she apparently would
get home a little bit later. Went to a slightly
different school, and so one day he one day he
relieved himself and he got caught or something. Something happened.
(10:04):
He got caught relieving himself under the gorilla or something
and his no, his sister, that's right, his sister came home.
He relieved himself and the gorilla. His sister came home
and found the relief on the gorilla, and he'd relieved himself,
and then he went to sports practice or something, and
his sister was like, ah, his sister was terrified. He
went to sports practice. He came home from sports practice,
(10:26):
he walked into his lounge and his parents were there
with the sister and the gorilla sitting there, and they said,
what is this? What is this? And he went and
his sister's like crying, you do this into my gorilla?
And he's like he as parents are like, admit what
(10:50):
you've done in this guerrilla?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
And he had say what it was?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
And why have his sister with the gorilla there? And
he said, the weirdest thing was I was staring at
this gorilla that I'd been that I'd you know, year,
millions of times.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Oh my god. There was my next question, why the gorilla?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Why gorilla? I said, why the gorilla goes. I don't know,
it's just because it just became a habit. I'm like, okay,
isn't that bizarre.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
But then as a parent, why would you make yeah,
what's the one there? Surely that's just to put them
in again. I don't know, because but surely that's a
pull them aside. And hey, what even doing his sister's
gorilla that that's got to stop? And what are you
doing anyway?
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I mean, I think even if I was a parent,
I'd be like, oh, don't be silly, that'll just be
such and such, and I'll be like, okay, and then
i'd quietly go by, hey, I think you may just
let's not talk about it, but just so you know,
probably don't do that, and then go back to the
sister and go I don't think that was But and
then everything kind of smoothed everything over, like getting there
and then not only getting him calling a family meeting
(11:57):
over it, but then also putting the gorilla in the room,
like don't that doesn't need to sit there? No, he's
turned out to be quite a normal, lovely, you know,
totally normal, lovely person. So it's all worked out fine.
I don't know about the sister. I don't know how
she's going.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Imagine if you went into if you went around to
his house one day and you're just like, which is bathroom?
He does? Down the hallway, second door, on the lift,
you walk past his room and in the bedroom right
on the right, on the bed.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
There smiling at you.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
So anything else to mop up? Anything else I've got
to I've got a vaguely related gravy Train update.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It's probably not for the radio, but I just want to.
I wanted to run past you guys your gorillas to
private back and it's an interesting like when do you
stand on this? So obviously the operation Gravy Trains. I'm
just trying to get free shirts into it, right and
I so then I can post about it a brand
(12:58):
and I don't want to say who it is an
until you know, until we signed the contract. There's no contract,
what contract but this brand and I'll tell you who
that is down the track. But him and I we've
been listening to a very committed journey on riding the
gravy Train and would love to help you up your
influence status with a collab. If you're keen, we'd love
to chat more and throw a few ideas around.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Chips sounds like a yeah, it sounds like we got
ourselves a co lab and I says, yeap keen airs.
My missus loves your product, and I know my audience
considered me their north star fronterior design.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Let me know what you're thinking. And then I sent
three train emojis.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Well there's a little hint as to what it might be.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, yeah, And then I got an automated reply straight
off the back and it said, hello Mania Dot Stuart,
thanks so much for reaching out. We love collaborating with
our community.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
With our community, could you please.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Complete our content creator application? And then a link.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Hold on, but they came to you.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Hopefully you'll understand. Our team receives an overwhelming amount of
collaboration request so I always able to respond to every inquiry.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I was like, you, that's.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Exactly what I thought.
Speaker 6 (14:04):
I was like, I'm not going to sit here and
I'm going to sit here and fill this though I
know that will just turn you straight away because I
don't want to come across as this, so I just
left and I was like, you know what, that's probably
an automated reply.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
We'll see how you go, would you have filled that out?
Speaker 4 (14:22):
You know what sucks now, Well, one of the things
that sucks because of ai as, like maybe someone that
would listen to our show may go, oh, I've him
and I are talking about the gravy train and I'm
going to get in touch blah blah blah. But now
these companies that have these loggers that go through all
of the radio stations, all of the TV channels, and
it basically gets like a transcript of everything that's happened
(14:43):
on the show. So, for instance, last week, you guys
spoke really really quickly about mullets, and someone got in
touch and they're like, oh, we're blah blah blah from
pr agency. We heard Jerry and me and I a
talking about mullets. So immediately you're like, oh, it's a
fucking listener serio.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Yeah, there's software out there that's stone How good is that?
Speaker 4 (15:03):
And then is that yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
So does that work on podcasts?
Speaker 4 (15:06):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Commodore's bank lines new cars, a new house like a
backyard and like three bedrooms and what else? Still want
more new golf clothes? See that works?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Interesting mortgage interest free mortgage.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
A tree interest free mortgage one million free dollars, and
I replied to that person and then they said, grab
your email blah blah bah. So I replied to them
send my email through, and then I got the automated
reply again, could you please complete our content creater applications.
(15:48):
But anyway, yeah, someone would like to send Yestida my
because I posted that run thing. Yeah with the what
the you know that you can put the Strava thing
on top and so I'm sweating at the headiest photo
of me, and I put fitness brands reach out they
(16:10):
haven't yet. But then what happened was I posted that
taking the purse. But then I've just had like thousands
of really positive comments off the back of it, like, hey,
good work man, smer bodies are built in autumn, so
make sure and obviously.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Some bodies.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I have never heard that, and obviously grateful, but yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Someer bodies are built. That's true. Pugs, Pugs, they said
out a boy. Yeah it was Patty that said some
of bodies have made an order, brother, great job. I
was like, that's not what I was going for it,
That's not what I was going for here. And then
what I found out was that on that app Strava,
(16:55):
then people can see all the half pass runs you've
been doing on delete that. I think there might be
a setting that says share with people and you can
unshare that want to unshare that I don't need, but
also someone's going to come out there and bloody track
me down. Oh, speaking of sharing with people, I thought
on the podcast, each day we could share the text,
(17:16):
the most disgusting text that we couldn't read out on
here Jesus every day. Oh so we get something just
disgusting every single day, like from someone it's like and
we can finish on it just to leave you with
the sour taste in your mouth.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Have you gone yep?
Speaker 6 (17:28):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Does with hay lads, yep.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
This is talking about the competition that we're going to
do with the big Show. We're trying to work out
what that next one is. Has been a chat that
maybe it might be a sperm count So turn off
now if you if you if you don't like this
sort of stuff. Hey lads, this has come through on
the text machine ending in seven oh five this number.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Hay lads.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
The easiest way to check if the sperm counts high
is if she has to chew before she swallows. Cheers.
All Right, okay, there we go. There's a nice way
to end, doesn't it.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Jerry and Manaiah catch the radio show from six to
ten weekdays. The Hadaki Breakfast
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