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May 14, 2026 34 mins

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time time time, luck and load. The Michael
Verie Show is on the air. Well, maybe you're on

(00:30):
zeb bound willgo V. Number of these other products, a
lot of them are compounded. Now. I know a number
of people have asked me what I thought they went
to Synergenics to get testosterone, because that's where I go

(00:51):
to get testosterone. I have B twelve yesterday. Ormont. They
can they can do a lot of other things, but
they also do testosterone in a number of I mean
they also do this category of drugs. It's a compounded drug.
And I've had a number of friends who've lost a

(01:11):
good bit of weight who were unable to lose that weight.
And I had a number of friends who remarked that
they're drinking a lot less and they're happy about that
because it was causing them this problem, or that that
they are relieved to be that they're being more responsible.

(01:33):
I know, if you're a person of great, if you're
a saint like my wife or my dad, you say, well,
I don't need a drug, drink last years, don't drink
so much. Okay, fine, they like the result and however
they're getting there, can't we just be happy? For them
that they're getting there. Some people have less self control

(01:54):
than my wife or my father, and that's just the
way it is. But in any case, maybe your take,
you want to know the side effect, you want to
know how to supplement, or maybe you're not taking it
you considered, or maybe somebody you know or maybe someone
you know is considering it. Doctor John Cottingham our MDVIP doctor.
And let me just say this, a number of people
have called in or email. It's always better to email

(02:16):
because Ramones and Mill doing the show, because then I
can handle your issue and I can hand it off
to somebody who might be able to help you. He's
part of a group called MDVIP. He can answer if
I get this wrong. But they basically handle the back office.
So the doctor can be the doctor so that he
can take your calls, so he can talk to you,
so that he can help you be healthier, live longer,

(02:37):
and solve your problems and all that sort of stuff.
But if you want to see him, and this is
true of every show sponsor, email me directly and I
will literally email him and you will have him call
you directly back and give you his cell phone number.
For those people who say well, I'll just do it
on my own, and you end up at another doctor
or another office or something else, I can't help you.

(02:58):
I would love to help you, so email me through
our website Michael Berryshow dot com and I can get
you a lot better help with whatever it is you're
looking for. John Cottingham is our guest, he's our concierge doctor.
We were talking earlier about the two types of drugs,
and one of them is a satiation drug. It's it's
not moving things through the intestine so your stomach is full,

(03:21):
which triggers your brain. I'm full, I don't need to eat.
Talk a little bit about that category and retail brand
of drug and how that works.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yes, that sounds like you're talking about this magleetide even
newer when's read a true tide, which is not quietly
available yet. But the glts and yes, they work on
a number of different mechanisms, and one, as you mentioned,
certainly is slowed gastric emptying, which causes an earlier satiety

(03:54):
during the course of a meal, and some.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Other satiety means you're you're you do for your bellies
for Ramon wouldn't know that.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Good ahead, Yeah, good for ramone, so you get full quicker.
You notice, hey, I don't need to keep eating any longer.
I'm full, And that of course helps to result in
less color consumption and ultimately weight loss. But it also
affects the signals or the signaling between your brain and

(04:26):
your your gastric system, your GI tract, including your stomach
that I just don't know I've had supper. Now it's
you know, later in the evening and watching a little
TV or whatever it is I'm doing. I think I
might like a little couple of doritos, or I think
I might like a little something. It just kind of
takes that away. And so the snacking after a nice

(04:50):
full meal is basically addressed in that way. So you
just don't feel that need or that desire to start
munching again needlessly or mindlessly.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
All right, let me ask some six questions as if
I'm six years old, and I would ask that you
answer is if I'm six years old, so we're all
caught up at the basics of the biology. So if
I'm called a six year old, what's.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
That I'm often called a six year old.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
So if we were we were taught when we were
young that food is fuel. So when we take away
this fuel, So if it's just sitting there in the
gut and it's not processing, how are we fueling our bodies?

Speaker 2 (05:27):
So the slower food or the products of food enter
our system at a point where it's low enough take
it to the extreme fasting, our insulin levels fall very low.
And when the insulin level falls low, your body begins

(05:49):
to metabolize storage fat for energy. Does that makes sense?

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Sure? So, as anything that slows down the entry of food,
let's just say, in simplistic terms into our into our bloodstream,
is going to trigger our own metabolism to begin to
utilize fat for energy. And so if we had a
really big meal and we're not on a g LP

(06:18):
and that is certainly if it's a carbohydrate containing meal, uh,
you know, a sparky meal, then our blood shag is
going to spike. Another hormone will fall that will then
lock away our ability to access fat for energy and
we will uh. And so every calorie that we consumed

(06:41):
in a large carbohydrate containing meal that's not being used
at that moment to fuel our base basal metabolic rate
is going to be stored as fat. That's the only
possibility for which explains why some people and we've probably
all heard it, maybe instead of ourselves. You know, I
had a tiny sliver of pie and a gain three pounds,

(07:04):
And the reason for that is that hormonal response, the
insulin spiked a different hormone, hormone sensitive light pace fell though,
and we had one choice for all the calories we
ate for the next twelve to fourteen hours, which was
distored as fat, and so that flowed gastric emptying helps

(07:25):
to lower the level of insulin required to let's say,
process that meal.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
It really is a what you know type thing, and
I feel bad. I've known people over the years that,
you know, they have the knowledge of the human body
and our processes that we had in the seventies, and
they've never advanced and they've held fast to them. They
think I need to lose weight, so they start jogging
and eating celery and that's not And so you see

(07:56):
these people suffering and struggling and in the end unsuccessful,
and then they give up and it's hard to get
them about it. Yeah, and when we understand how carrying
all this extra weight is going to cause stress on
your failure, on your organs and your joints. I mean,
I'd love to be able to help them more anyway.

(08:18):
Doctor John Cottingham's our guest. More coming up. This is
the Michael Varie Show.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah, Doctor John Cottingham is a concierge doctor.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
The practice I prefer for your general practitioner because that's
the doctor that you don't need to go see every day.
You don't need to wait in the lobby, you don't
need to go to a medical center in a park
in a parking garage. You don't need to wait outside
while they've overbooked twenty people for ten minutes and you
finally see the doctor and they have thirty seconds to spare.
It is a one on one old fashioned doctor relationship

(08:56):
like out in the country where before we had cell phones,
but if we had, you have the doctor cell phone.
You talk to them, you visit, you share your fears,
your concerns, your symptoms, and you have direct access to
the doctor. It's a way to do it. It's absolutely
the way to do it anyway. Doctor John Cottingham is
our guests. We're talking about We're talking about this class
of drugs that is absolutely transforming America as people are

(09:21):
losing weight. Restaurants are reporting that the selling less fast
food product companies are having to change what they do.
Doctor John Cottingham is our guest. Let's talk a little
bit about for people who are on well go VI's
zeb bound or one of these. And by the way,
you do this as well out of your office.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Correct.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Okay, So let's walk through somebody coming in and they
do a patient work up and that they feel like
they're overweight. Whatever that looks like there BMI, and they said,
I want to Michael Berry said, you do this, talk
to me a little bit about that. What does that
process look like for you? What kind of questions are
you asking? What are you trying to do well?

Speaker 2 (10:02):
We're going to want to know about their nutritional habits,
their exercise habits, also their sleep habits. That has a
huge rule in weight maintenance. Whether it's weight loss or
weight gain, or muscle gain or muscle loss, all of
those things are important, as is social engagement is spending
time as a person with the people you love and
the people who love you. All of those things matter.

(10:25):
So we get into all of those things, but then
we also gather a lot of data and one of
the important pieces of data that we gather here regarding
golps and some of the issues that we mentioned earlier.
With muscle loss, is we get a measurement of their
body composition. In other words, we want to know prior
to starting a medication like this, how much of their

(10:46):
total body weight is fat and how much of their
total body weight is skeletal muscle mass, and then we
can monitor And as I said before, it's the muscle loss,
at least from my perspective, is the biggest concern outside
of those potential side effects that we mentioned the gastroparesis,

(11:07):
it's the muscle as that we want to focus on.
So when we measure at the outset and then we
know what those numbers are, then we'll come back in
six weeks or eight weeks or whatever ME and this person,
this patient feels like is the appropriate interval, and we'll
remeasure that way, we can ensure they're gaining muscle, are
certainly at least not losing muscle, but also that they're

(11:28):
losing fat and kind of take it from there and
we can make recommendations and suggestions. And we also get
into if we didn't get the result we were looking for,
whether that's not enough fat loss or not enough overall
weight loss, or if we've been losing muscle. Oftentimes we'll
discuss that. But oftentimes if we're not gaining the muscle,

(11:52):
it's usually in most cases they're not eating enough protein.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Are you a one gram of protein per pound person?

Speaker 2 (12:01):
You know, that's sort of a more or less a
rule of thumb. There's no randomized controlled trials that would
say this is the correct I think that's a good
rule of thumb. If you're involved in a lot of
strenuous weight training and then also incorporate aerobic training cardio
training in your regular routine, probably need a little bit

(12:22):
more than that, certainly for trying to gain muscle. Interestingly,
the older we get, as we could get into our
forties and fifty to sixty seventy beyond, our protein requirements
actually increase. Not our overall caloric requirement, but the protein
requirement required to maintain muscle mass increases.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
And that is because we are naturally. Our several thousand
year old body feels like, well, he's not a hunter
gatherer anymore. He doesn't need that strength.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
Correct. Yeah, we've pro created, we've done our we've done
our biological job. We're starting to prepare to check out
at least our bidles are correct. And by the way,
all of that can be mitigated and work for quite
a while.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
And when you put someone on one of these drugs,
because we've we've talked about you know, I want to
lose weight, and and here's all the good, here's all
the reasons I want to lose weight. What are you
beginning to monitor more closely? What are you telling them, Hey,
if this happens, give me a call, Hey, keep an
eye on this.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
So if they begin to experience nausea, you know, I'd
certainly want to know about that, and and there there
would be some decisions to make at that point, depending
on how bad the nausea is, is a constant and
how often it occurs those kinds of things, So that
would be first we'd want to know.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
What percentage of your cases would you say, you see
that happen you see nausea?

Speaker 2 (13:53):
You know, to be honest, I have not encountered any
type of chronic nausea in the patients. And I've got
a fair number that we do you treat with this
medication or medications in that class. I've just not really
encountered it much. There has been some reports from patients
where they had some mild naedge but they managed just fine. Uh,

(14:16):
if it gets a little bit worse, we can give them,
you know, anti nausea medications. But if it gets you
know beyond, if you know it's just the simple medications,
the more conservative measures aren't successful in managing the NAGA,
then we have to be concerned about you know, gastroparesis
and causing a long term, you know, unfortunate side effect.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
It's interesting how many people will say to me, you know,
you're bragging on this or that person that's on these
drugs and and they're losing weight, and you think that's great.
But you know, I read a story about, you know,
some guy in Taiwan and he killed over when okay,
all right, you're going to have some outliers. You are
in fact going to have statistically some people, no matter
what you do, we're going to have a side effect

(15:00):
that's not positive. But nobody considers what are the long
term effects of high blood pressure, what are long term
effects of heart problems? With the long term effects of
carrying extra weight on your liver, on your joints, on
all of these other things. I mean, that's real. What
do you see when someone John Cottingham's our guest, he's
our concierge doctor. I saw a number the other day, John,

(15:22):
it was like twenty five percent of your body weight.
The number of people who did a study on one
of these that lost twenty five percent of their body weight.
And it was an insane number of people. That's a
lot of weight. What do you see people the positive
effects once they start losing weight on these drugs.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Certainly, so one of the maybe obvious effects is that
percentage of weight loss. It eases. Every ten pounds of
weight loss feels like thirty pounds to your knees. Okay,
so you know the lack of weight on your skeletal
system is improves people's pain a lot. The positive effects

(16:05):
they get emotionally from seeing, you know, liking what they
see better in the mirror oftentimes will further motivate them
to e properly and to exercise and do other things.
But now we're starting to see in some of the
from some of the research centers that study these medications
that we're beginning to see decreases and inflammation. Is that

(16:26):
do the way can you hang.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Around for a minute, all right. John Cottingham, concierge doctor,
is our guest.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
You're in connect with him.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
You can email me through the website. Doctor John Cottingham
is a concierge doctor. It's a whole different way to
practice medicine. I love it. It's it's a return to
the past, a different way to connect directly with a doctor,
to cut out the middlemen, the admins, the lady behind
the plastic sliding glass that doesn't want you banging on

(16:54):
the thing, but you need to tell her you're here.
The waiting rooms, the bad magazines, the parking garage is
the long drive traffic in the medical center. It's a
whole different and better way to as a patient. And
for doctors, they find a lot more fulfilling and rewarding
experience as a doctor in a lot less stress because
you're not working for MBAs and physician practice anymore. You're

(17:18):
practicing medicine. John Cottingham's our guests. And we were talking
about the glp ones, the zeb bounds and with goovi's
and no zimpics for doctors when we talk about weight
loss generally, and that's not all you do. You're a
total health guy. But when we talk about weight loss,
generally rank some of the levels of importance. You mentioned sleep.

(17:41):
You and I've talked a lot about water consumption. Off air,
You've talked about these drugs. Is there a point where
someone should say, look, I've tried real hard to lose weight.
This is going to give me because I will tell
you this as a person who's lost seventy pounds twice
in my life. I will tell you that when I
weigh I exercise more, I sleep better, I drink less,

(18:03):
I drink more water, I'm more conscious. I'm either I'm
full throttle. I'm either healthy or I'm not. Do you
is there a point where you go, Okay, it's time
to start talking about these drugs.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
Absolutely. Number one, we want to make sure there's no countraindications.
We don't necessarily have to go into them. There are
some multiple integrin neoplasias one, but that would take another
show to discuss. But yeah, So if a person's you know,
you know, really followed a diet or a nutrition strategy

(18:37):
that we know should work, if they're exercising using all
three types of exercise resistance training, high intensity interval aerobic training,
and low intensity, steady state aerobic training and they're just
up against the wall. Yeah, we don't want them throwing
the baby out with the bath water and saying getting
frustrated and saying nothing works. And you're right to point

(18:59):
out too as well. A lot of people, once they
start experiencing some success, it motivates all other aspects of
their life. They start to regulate their sleep patterns better,
they start to eat better, they show up to the
gym or to their workouts with their personal trainer, whatever
the case may be. They adopt a whole host of

(19:20):
other habits that helps to then further stimulate or spur
their success. So if they've gotten frustrated, and certainly if
they've got any other health issues like hypertension or insulin resistance,
or diabetes or heart disease, these medications can be really helpful.

(19:42):
Number One, the patients begin, the people begin to experience success,
as we said, then motivates more success. But there's even
newer studies being done now where it's thought that the
medication itself is going to lower inflam and inflammation is
really the root cause of heart disease. Uh, and heart

(20:05):
disease is still the number one killer of all people,
male and female. So absolutely there there there's a time
to give serious considerations to these medications because of their efficacy,
how well they work, uh, and in most cases not
you know, side effects that can either be mitigated or tolerated.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
When we talk about these things, I've watched so many
people and the people that I'm talking to are parents
of kids, who's went to school with my kids, and
so these are these are doctors and lawyers and and
company owners and and you know, they're not throwing they're
not burning money, but they're willing to invest in in

(20:53):
their health. And this is you know, at least in
the beginning, was not cheap. When we talk about a
cost for someone to take one of these drugs, what
are we talking about?

Speaker 2 (21:04):
It depends on their insurance coverages. And there's there's now
newer avenues for people who don't have very good insurance
coverage to have access to these medications at cheaper prices.
I don't know the exact prices that are available, but
it does vary per insurance plan and the source of
the medication. And there's now compounding pharmacies that are formulating

(21:25):
these medications. Uh. And there's there's some reputable ones around
as far as compounding pharmacies are concerned, some located right
here in Houston as well, that you can trust what
you're you know, what you're receiving from from those sources.
I would also say, though, as part of the cost
consider you know, what is the cost of being overweight,

(21:46):
What is the cost of having you know, congestive heart failure,
what is the cost of having diabetes? And the care
and the misery that you know accompanies those those awful diagnoses.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
So I also think that delivery mechanism advancement's going to
make a big difference now that it's in pill form
instead of shot, because the shot mechanism is you know
that they made a huge advancement. You'd know, I wouldn't
some number of years ago where they could send people
home with a shot or mail people a shot that
you take the cap off, you know, push it and

(22:17):
it goes. And now to be able to do the
sublingual the pill, that's just going to make a world
a difference.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
I think that's a barrier for a lot of people.
You know that the idea of giving themselves are administering
themselves a shot.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Sure, of course, sure, let's talk about the finances of
your practice, because I tell people a number of people
I know can afford to go to a concierge doctor,
they just don't know it. They can afford to do
a lot of things, they just don't know it. But
there is there are dollars that have to be spent.
And I explained to people, what's your health worth, what's

(22:53):
paying off your debt worth? What are these things work
to you? And some people are in this mindset if
my insurance doesn't pay for it, I'm not going to
do it, and they'll die at forty years old, you know,
scrimping and saving a few pennies here and there. I
think it's penny wise pound foolage. But let's talk about
becoming a new patient of John Cutting in sure.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
So as far as cost, it's an annual fee of
twenty five hundred dollars and that can be paid either
quarterly or every six months or annually. And that includes
that no additional cost, a complete and very exhaustive annual
wellness visit that occurs every year. And then there's twenty
four to seven access to me via my cell phone

(23:35):
or my staff if it's during normal business hours, same day,
next day appointments. I'm always on time and never in
a hurry. You know, you won't be sitting in a
waiting room full of people. Typically when a patient shows up,
there usually the only patient in the practice at that
moment until that visit has been completed. And the visits

(23:57):
can be as little as ten minutes if that's all
we need, or they can be extended up to over
an hour if that's what's needed, and that doesn't stress
the practice, the staff or anything. That's just kind of
built into our model. And statistical analysis of this model,
if you will, of practice has shown a seventy percent

(24:18):
reduction in hospitalizations.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
Because it's more proactive and it's more interactive.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Absolutely, it is as most of us are. No. It
is so much easier to prevent something proactively than it
is to treat it reactively.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Right, And I have found in my experience with the
doctors that I like that I use for my different
body parts Mohit Kara, my urologist, Dan Duckman, my cardiologists.
I have found that you get doctors that get outside
of the and this is not beating up on doctors.
It's not what I intend to do. But a lot

(24:56):
of doctors are quite unhappy, as you know, because they're
practicing in a big sitt and they're told how to
practice law and they're really just a corporate employee with
the license to write scripts, and it's unrewarding, it's unfulfilling
to them, and I don't think it's good for the patient.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
I agree, And it's not why we go to medical
school either. You know, no one goes to medical school thinking,
you know, they're going to be, you know, at the
behest of a corporate entity and being able to do
only what they're allowed to do by any one patient
insurance company.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
John Cottingham, MD VIP. You can connect with him through
me if you like. Thanks, buddy. Vice President Vance spoke
today in Maine. In the first hour. We talked about
this fraud in the federal government, saying we're going to
stop it. We're going to build in some norms, we're
going to knock it off. Guys. I don't know if

(25:49):
you've ever had this moment in your family. We do
it once a year or so. My wife and I
sit down, we go over all the expenses. We have
a little family meeting at dinner, and we go all right, guys,
some waste and inefficiency, some wants not needs, have crept
into the family budget. So let's uh, here's the apps

(26:13):
that we're paying subscriptions on, and Mom and I have
gone through and marked off everyone that is ours. So
we need somebody needs to take accountability who bought this app?
And my kids are great kids, I'm not in any way.
I'm fortunate, I'm lucky. They're wonderful. But there'll be an

(26:34):
app that's costing three bucks a month and it'll take
a minute. Nobody claims it because they're not hiding from it.
Nobody claims it because nobody knows what it is. And
so everybody in the family will go on their phone
and see who has that app? Whoever has that app?
Oh shoot, I had to download that app to take

(26:58):
the prep course for the college admissions test or whatever
it was. Okay, Well, the model now is built for
you to sign up for a cheap subscription. Subscription UH
usually give you some time free, so it doesn't it
doesn't even show up on your bill at first, and

(27:20):
then in time it shows up and you forget about it.
And so this is I mean, from a psychological perspective,
it's brilliant. This is what all those little, you know,
balkanized networks do, HBO or Hulu or and so. What
they do is they come up with their own content.

(27:43):
They spent a fortune promoting it. Oh you want to
see this bon Jovi biopic is gonna be good. This
is the true story of bon Joe and it's on Hulu.
And so you go, Oh, okay, I grew up with
bon Jobey. It was when I was in high school.
They were Yeah, I watch it. I watched Hulu. Mandra good.

(28:03):
So you go there and they got to have a
Hulu subscription. Yeah, so I really don't want to do
a Hulu subscription. How about I gave you all five
bucks and I watch your movie now. And we're not
going to sell you the movie because we don't want
to monetize the movie. We use them as a hook

(28:24):
to get you. This is crack. We'll give you the
first bit of crack free right. We're pool sharks. We'll
let you win the first couple and get your confidence up.
We're crack dealers. We'll give you a little bit of
you can try it, and if you love it, then
we'll own you. So you go well, shoot, man, I
don't want to do that. Well, that becomes the subscription model.

(28:49):
That's what they do. So you pay the two dollars
a month or three dollars a month or whatever the
fee is. Well, when we go back and look, we
realize we're paying, Oh, it's only three dollars a month,
and I've taught my kids three dollars a month is
thirty six dollars a year into eternity. At some point
you have to go to the hassle of undoing that.

(29:10):
The sooner the better, because thirty six dollars a month
is three hundred and sixty dollars and ten years. Okay,
it doesn't sound like much, but you got five to twenty.
They have apps now that get rid of subscription apps.
It's that bad. It is that bad. So that's one

(29:30):
of the things we do as a family. Hey, we
got to cut these apps out because it's not that
we're going to go bankrupt over a three dollars, eight dollars,
ten dollars, twelve dollars app. It's that we're not teaching
our kids that there's this there's this little tiny cancer.
It's hanging around out there every month and it just

(29:54):
keeps dragging on and on, and understanding before you click yeah,
yes on, yeah, I'll pay a monthly fee for that app,
understand that it's going to come a time where you
have to sit in judgment and say, oh, I don't
even know why I have that app. All right, well,

(30:15):
let's get it rid of it right now. And you
sit down with your family budget and you say, we're
not going to allow the trash to creep in anymore.
We're going to cut back, and before you know it,
you've saved three hundre dollars a month, five hundred dollars,
one thousand dollars a month, depend on size of your budget.
You saved real money. And you teach your kids that
money that we just saved in recurring fees, waste inefficiency subscriptions.

(30:40):
That three hundred dollars is thirty six hundred dollars a year,
That thousand dollars is twelve thousand dollars a year. There's
a good chance you can do it. Can we live
without that? Can we do without that? Can we knock
that off?

Speaker 2 (30:53):
In?

Speaker 1 (30:53):
Chances are you can multiply it by twelve Now, multiply
that by years into the future. Before you know it.
You go, hey, that adds up to be enough that
if if I started putting that into buying gold and
silver or the stock market, or some form of investment

(31:15):
that is also growing off the corpus, that ends up
being significant. It ends up being a real deal. It
ends up mattering, and then you realize, wow, Okay, that's uh,
that's worth doing, and that's what this is about. The fraud,

(31:36):
the corruption. Kudos to the Trump administration, Kudos to them
forgiving jd. Vance this opportunity to lead in this field.
The left has played this game in this country with
black people for many, many years, and it frustrates me
for black people that they do it. We'll tell you
how to think, we'll tell you how to vote, we'll

(31:56):
tell you how to feel, We'll tell you how to live.
White liberals do it, and black collected efficient of black
appointed kings of all blacks. You're not smart enough to
think for yourself. You're too dumb. You're a former slave.
We'll do this for you because you're not very good.
Just sit there and vote for me. Keep me in power.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
Now.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
I'll take care of you. I'll keep you protected from
those evil white people over there. It's horrible. It's almost
like they gather up black folks and hold some sort
of orientation for we'll be in charge.

Speaker 4 (32:22):
I'll just be dumb. Hello, everybody, welcome to orientation. Now
right off, I'd like to explain our orchard. I am
the big cheese, the head honcho, Elle numero uno. I'm
the one fighting for you against whitey. You will never
speak to me directly nor look me in the eye. Now,
let's introduce you to the team. These are the people
who report directly to me. These are the community organizers,

(32:45):
the loudest victims, and professional activists in this organization. Your
status goes up the more loudly you complain about racism, Republicans,
and systemic oppression. You too can aspire to get to
this level, and if you do, you'll get book deals, appearances,
speaking fees, and power. Next, we have our school teachers,
pastors and influencers. These are people who remind everyone that

(33:08):
it's the white man holding you down. You'll give them
respect and bend to their influence. At this level, they're
close to making their way into upper management to get
that book deal and that paper, so they'll attack anyone
who says that it isn't the white man who is
keeping you down. So if you're a black Conservative, they'll
lead the charge in calling you and Uncle Tom Man
a sellout. Now, if you're one of them, regular black

(33:29):
folks who just want to work, raise your kids, live
normal lives, you'll never rise to the top of this organization.
You'll be shunned and mocked for acting white. Now remember
the organization and I are here to protect you and
your children from systemic racism and those evil Republicans.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
We can only do that with your help.

Speaker 4 (33:48):
I do want you to know that, as black people,
you have the freedom to vote however you'd like, but
keep in mind that your entire social hierarchy is built
on this system, so choose wisely. Now that we have
that out of the word, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to
the Democrat Plantation imitation, Thank you, and good nights.
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