April 13, 2026 ⢠25 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, you ask Diane how she's doing. Absolutely, Diane, I'm
so glad you're back, and how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Thank you? I am doing okay good? Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Well, all right, very good. Well listen, I'll.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
He's he's only been gone a month.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
The yes, Yes, that is true. Yeah, that is true.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
The the I feel like I don't know about I
can tell you from Maan.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I feel like it's been a long month.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Yeah, so it feels verse before you if you need
to gather your thoughts. He seems very much willing to
share his own.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I would say yes and no.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
In terms of whether it feels like it's been a
long time, right, yeah, but I don't know to talk.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah, I don't know what to ask. I don't know
what to ask.
Speaker 5 (00:52):
I would start by saying, I am so so so
appreciative right of everybody reaching out right, you three especially
and family and friends and listeners and friends of the show.
I mean, I was overwhelmed at the amount of support,
(01:12):
and you do.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's crazy to say, but you do feel.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
It, do you really?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
No, that's good. That's really really good.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
And not not just from people you see, but just
whether it's emails or notes and stuff like that.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yeah, and people continuing to check in too, right, because
a lot of people say that, you know, like right
after you lose somebody like that, that everybody is on
top of you and are you okay? And what can
I do? And here's some food and and then it
kind of goes away.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Right, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Well, it's like my buddy Milkman who send the text.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
No no, But like my buddy Sam lost his wife
a year and a half ago.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
And he has been checking in a lot, which I
love because he always makes me laugh.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The I didn't realize though that he was going to
and you so many book titles, I.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Know, and I was like, I didn't know that there
was going to be this much reading.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Are you reading Walden?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Also, no, I am, I'm not reading anything.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Oh, don't tell Sam that. Don't tell Sam that. No.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
No.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
But I always thought that when Sam when when when
Sam lost his wife, and and then obviously when when
Scott passed, he was talking about how like early on
you do have that that that outpouring of support and
that outpouring of like people reaching out and he's like,
it's it's great because you're it's kind of he always.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Talked about it and and and you could tell me
if it's right.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
It's kind of this suspended reality of.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
It's just it's weird.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Isn't the right word, but it's it doesn't seem real,
but it's very real at the same time.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Totally accurate.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
And he said, like at some.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Point the bagels stopped coming, Yeah, And that was always
what he said, is that early on, there's there's there's
a flood of love and support and emotion and food
and and and every everything under and every and it
all comes from a really good place. And then at
some point, like people are like okay, and.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
Then people get back to their lives and then you
have to now people, I've had several people ask me
with like what do you think your life's going to
look like now? And like I have no idea. I
really don't because and that I mean going back to
the what what you have to deal with right in
(03:32):
terms of this is a person that we were married
for twenty five years and this suddenly he's not here anymore. Right,
He's gone, and now I have to get used to
what my life is going to look like.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Correct.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
And the other thing that you've you've probably heard when
somebody passes that there is a lot of paperwork that
is involved that does not even scratch the surface. I
would spend days right at the at the kitchen encounter
with my laptop, either making phone calls, texting people, emailing people.
(04:07):
You know what I heard a lot of in the
last month of everybody uses this whole music, and it
would it would start to make.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
Excuse me, I'll be right with you, Yeah, it would
start to make me laugh because it was almost like
because it was it was almost like I was gambling
like this.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You have to like find.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Humor and stuff like that, right, because if not, you're
just you. I can't sit in that house and cry
all day, right, you know, right?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
The the the other thing and and and I mean listen,
you would tell me things like you need twenty million
death certificates, Yeah, to be even for stuff that you
would go like cell phone bills and transferring accounts and
all that other stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Everybody needs a.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Death certificate, so you got to get like nive hundred
of them to cover everything. But you know what, you
know what the the the I mean, there's listen, there's
a behind the scenes, there's a ton of lessons that
come out of being close to somebody who goes who
goes through this is you know what, you know, what
you and Scott did really really well and take away,
(05:23):
you know, being married and raising a daughter all that
other stuff is the fact that he had every password
to everything imaginable. I think of that now, like, at
some point I got to sit down with Jackie and go,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I couldn't even get into my.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Bank account everything he wrote down, it's it's credit card logins,
banking logins, patient portals, his email streaming services.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Well, I can't do this anymore. Stop What's Netflix? You
changed it again?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You know? But Hoole sixty nine, just make them all
the same.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
That to me, I was I wanted to highlight that
it is invaluable because it's you have so much work
to do that makes it so much easier.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
But you know the were you able to ever listen
to music through your echo?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Mike, Mike and Kristen came over on Saturday night and
Mike got it set.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Up in like two minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Are you serious? We went over to Diane's one day.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Well, before we get there, wait, hold on, hold on,
hold on, no, but I do I do want to
say one thing though, going back to.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Like passwords and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yes, is that good bad?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
I don't know which one's right or not.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
But but Scott had been sick for a little while,
so there was there was time to organize. If you
I don't know the right word, right, I'm pussy footing
around this like crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
But some people, some people I hate saying this word.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Some people die instantly or expect unexpectedly.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yes, get that.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Stuff done like that really is a lesson and listen,
I don't I don't want it to be so, but
he goes through an illness. I don't want it to
be unexpectedly. I don't want it to be any of that.
But get that done. Because you're right, you wouldn't be
able to watch Netflix.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's you. You just don't realize.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
And it's gotten as as everybody is so much more
connected and online and everything, I feel like it's gotten
that much more complicated and the amount of things that
you have to attend to are infinite. What about let's
and it's not only his stuff, because I mean he
had everything pretty much on auto pay, but I had
to go through and log into his banking and make
(07:31):
sure that things were getting paid right, And then I'm
looking at charges, going, why is he paying one hundred
dollars a month to Microsoft? I got to look into that, right,
and you know what I mean, it's probably some business amount.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Now, it's some business thing.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
But I got to make sure Marley's stuff is all
paid because he had you know, her rent and Georgia power.
And then I've got to make sure his mom's stuff
is covered right too. So just having that was a huge,
huge help.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, no, that is That is one thing I learned.
Back to the real.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Issue getting stabbed in the back his husband is that
because he do you guys use phone music?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Oh see, I used the free iHeartRadio music app. No
you don't, Yes I do?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
No you yes I do.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
That was the problem. Loyal to the company. You stabbed
two people now in the back.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So we went over to Diane's house one day and
we couldn't get.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Diane's playing her music through the TV.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
He really wanted to listen to the new Harry Styles record.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
That's what it was, was it really? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Oh but Diane's or I was just playing it on
the speaker on my phone.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah yeah, right, And so but Diane was like, I
don't know, Scott made it come through the Alexa device,
and so Tyler was like, I'll fix it.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I didn't. Twenty minutes later, Diane's like, you don't have
to worry about that anymore. But you and Mike got
it done. Oh that's awesome, that's great. Yeah, say look
how we're here for you.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Listen to it all day yesterday. Alexis kip, Alexis skip.
I'm not feeling that right now, Alexa Skip.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I loved it.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
What else did we learn? What else did we learn?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
It's very So.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
He passed away on March fourteenth, and within we were
able to stay with him for a while. Then we
had to go tell his mom and stay with her
for a while because she had been at the hospital
earlier in the day.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
But then she decided to go back home.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
And then when Marley and I got home that night,
we were just kind of sitting around. I of course
turned on the pit in the background, of course, because
I didn't need to because I needed more time in
a hospital. But you then the phone rings and it's
the organ donation people, right, And he had literally been
(09:49):
dead a few hours at that point, right, and they're like, listen,
we're so sorry for your loss. But as you know,
when it comes to organ donation, time is of the essence. Sure,
so I have about I've got about an hour's worth
of questions. I need to ask you what's a good time?
And I was like not now, bitch, please, I was like,
(10:13):
can you can you give me a couple hours?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
And so it is and then they but.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
It's quick, right, yeah, because you don't have a lot
of time. Right.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
So they were able to use his corneas and some
heart valves. So they let you know the next morning
what what they were.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Able to tell you what they used.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Yeah, they said, if you don't want to know, or
if you don't want us to email you or a
text you about it, that's fine, but we will text
you to let you know what we were able to use.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Oh no, kid, yeah really? But then do you find
out where it goes?
Speaker 4 (10:45):
No?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Could you have asked?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
But that's the other thing too, is like you you're
you're overwhelmed, doesn't doesn't do it justice? Or you're just
like looking you know, I'm like looking around, like how
am I going to hand all of this by myself like,
I like, look at there's all of his clothes, and
there's all of his medications, and and you're just like,
I don't need cookbooks, Like I get I should get
(11:11):
rid of those. And then you're just and then you're
just like looking around.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, yeah, well you don't cook.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
No, that's that's another thing I should get into too.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
But but it's like, but I like to start a
task and complete a task and then cross it off
a list, right. So the only thing that I could
do at that point that was pretty quick was clear
out the DVR, right because Scott had been bitching of like,
you know, we're about seventy percent full on, and I
was like, well, it's not just me with some housewives
(11:46):
that I haven't been able to catch up on. So
I went through and cleared out Diner's drive ins and dives,
this old house, and one hundred and forty six episodes
of mach.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I was like, they have raised the light from the deviceless.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
I spent a long time with You would have thought
he was only using a fire stick.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I know, how many fire sticks do we have?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
You?
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Well, because he was like, well, they're only like twenty
five dollars.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yeah, no, a ton of fire sticks in the house.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
But that was the other thing too.
Speaker 5 (12:21):
It's like the utility closet, like all of the the
kitchen things.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
He was the cook, right, all of the kitchen.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Things that we had in there, and now my sister
is selling them for me on Facebook marketplaces.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Wouldn't it be she's.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Been a saint, she's been.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Would wouldn't it be nice to let like, maybe some
people close to you come over and pick.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Through some things that we might want. No, maybe there's
like a kitchen appliants that I would.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Like the Facebook marketplace. Maybe I'll give you a discount.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
So your sister's like meeting up with people.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah, she sells stuff on marketplace all theory.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
This is her thing. Yeah right, yeah, the like grill stuff.
She's like, look, half am I doing with a grill? Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
And I was gonna excuse myself and walk out back
and see if there was anything.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I needed and the smoker, yeah, oh that I could use.
That I could use.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
No, I gotta I got a food dehydrator.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
The which is, by the way, I know that you
don't dehydrate a lot of food.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No, No Coastguard Kurd has one. He loves it, loves it.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
So you're not gonna make like a you won't make
like a brisket and then freeze part of it?
Speaker 5 (13:24):
Am I doing that in the smoker that I won't
use outside?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yes, in the smoker you should do it.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Yeah, it's no, it's it's there's just so much stuff
to get any start to think about that.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
I'm not sure if Diane will take your comments in
the last few seconds as it's insensitive.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
So I'm good.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
And then if there is any doubt in your mind
right that our phones are always listening to us. Right,
all of my targeted ads now are grief counseling and
get your jewelry made with your loved one's ashes.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
That's all it is. That's cute now, So.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
You're not doing that. No, you're not going to get
the jewelry.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
No, I don't think so what what's that motion?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Then maybe I'll take a look.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
And of course this all had to happen during tax time.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
The oh are you doing? Don't doing this year?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I mean now they were.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Taxes in the house Scott, of course he did. Yes,
so do what I do? Say again?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
No, we're done? Oh you finished?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
The Yeah? Are you serious. Wait, you got it done
by yourself? No? Oh okay, no.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
No, no, no, the same company that we've used for years. Right,
but I'm we're axes.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Do the fifteenth God damn it, this week the on Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Yeah, you get a big refund.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
No, we owed the.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I'm like you sure about that?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
The room?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Did you put a note in there? And says like,
I don't feel like paying this year. I've been through
some stuff. Now, I've been through some.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Stuff and then I think I found our new bit.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Okay, no, okay.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
I'm gonna mention signs that I get from Scott to
know that he's okay, and you're going to debunk them
and everybody, I'll call you a dick.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I did in person that a visit. Oh god, I
did that right in your house. I just kept eating
my sandwich during all that.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Right, by the way, shout out to Panera. We paid
for it, but that was a good sandwich. That that
fit the moment. No, no, that fit the that fit
the moment.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah. No, there were a couple there were a couple
of words.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Diane was like, I know what you're gonna say, but
I feel like this is Scott.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I was like, no, it's not.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I talked to him all the time, right, is that?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Can I can I ask you this? And I don't.
I don't what's the what's the right word. I don't.
I don't know what the right word is.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
A buddy of mine, a buddy of mine's son died
of an overdose within the last year, and he went
back to work and then I'll get back to you
talk to him all the time.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, and he would.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
He went back to work as as people do, and
when people would see him at the office being him himself,
if you will, people would go, oh, hey, it's nice,
it's good to see you. Back to normal, and he
would go, I'm not normal. I'll never I'll never be normal.
(16:32):
I understand what they're saying, and I understand what the
meaning behind it is of you seem like you're back
to I don't know what the I don't know what
the right word is. But the the it's not normal,
he would say, like, there's nothing I lost my kid.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It's not normal.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
But he also understood that it came from a place
of people saying that they were happy to see him
and that.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
It was good to see him, not.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Sad and miserable, and he's like, there are still times
where I'm very sad and I'm very miserable. There's a
lot of times like that. So he understood the normal word,
if you will. So Ever, since he told me that,
because I know I've been guilty of saying that to
people in the past, of like, oh, it looks like
you're getting back to normal, right, And I never understood
(17:24):
how that would be triggering to somebody who it's not normal,
Like their life is not normal. It's completely changed, it
will never unchange. It starts a whole new chapter, a
whole new starting point of of of who you are.
But that word, that word means from an outsider, is
(17:48):
meant in a very positive way.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, I wouldn't think that that's anything.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
So that's not that's not going to throw you.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
No, I don't think so, because it is. It's it's
there are times.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
That I get really really right.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
I was weepy as hell yesterday and I was just like, Oh,
you've got to get it together.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
You're going back to work tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Amen.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, No, I mean that the uh there is ladies, gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I knew walking into the term is going to be
like a big hug.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
It is it is no. No, But I was going
to say, is that is that? Like you said, you
talk to him all the time? Right, do they say
that is a I don't want to use the word normal,
but I'm going.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
To I bet that's completely normal.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yes, where that goes on regularly.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Yeah, it's like I said, it's like you know, you
you you can't prepare for this, like I you don't
know what it's like to be in your by yourself
so much when you're used to having somebody around you.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Right, And it's not like when Jackie goes away for
the weekend.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
I'm like, yeah, no, no, because then you know she's
coming back Sunday.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Correct, yeah, correct? The And then what was I was
going to ask you? One other thing? Not is the Oh?
And they say you should never you should never sell
your house within a year.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
That was one of the first things I was uttering
walking around.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Where does that come from?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
This is just no nothing?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
Yeah, they said nothing drastic in it in a year
and and I remember I said, makes sense. Yeah, I
said that. I was like, I don't what do I
It's just it's just me. I don't what do I
need this house for? I should get rid of it,
and my sister's like, no, you're supposed to wait a year.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
But they but they do always say that, they're like,
there's of.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
Course I wasn't serious, but you're just so you're you're
kind of thought about it. You're kind of exasperated. You're
just like this is this is stupid, right?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
You know?
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:37):
No, because I would also like, because I had that
conversation with Sam when when when Jody passed away, and
he was the same thing. He was like, I got
to get rid of this goddamn house, like I don't
want it. Every every place that I look in the
house reminds me of Jody, Like everything in here reminds
me of Jody. And I think it's the same way
where every everything you look at.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
But the smoker, for example.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Would be Netflix would be like, Scott is a reminder.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
But I can also understand, yea, but it's not like
that a reminder is a is a bad thing?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Correct? Correct?
Speaker 5 (20:10):
You know, it's just it it'll give you like a
moment to pause and think about it, and then it's
kind of like, okay, you know, I talked to him
a lot. I talk to myself a lot because I'm
by myself in that house. The cats are like, I
think she's going crazy?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Is it? Is it good to be back? I mean
it's only been an hour at work.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
I told you I needed some some sort of schedule
again after having not had one because my sister who
is retired.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I'm like, is this what it's like to be retired?
Like you do not know what day it is?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Right?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
You don't know? That's not good And it's just.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
You just need to have some sort of a schedule
that's order and schedules are normal, that are normal to
me and a comfort to me. And I could I
could have, you know, taken another two weeks and just
sat at that kitchen island trying to make phone calls
and it just I'll get to it.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, exactly, I'll get to it.
Speaker 5 (21:17):
And I'm only gonna I'm trying to make a schedule
for myself that is going to say, Okay, don't just
like I should have gone out and left the house yesterday.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I didn't leave the house. It was beautiful out. I
should have. I should have.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Been outside, of course, but I didn't because I just
felt like I had too much stuff to get to
tie up loose ends to come back to work.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
You want to go to out back tonight?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Why out back?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I don't know. I'm just thinking of some place we'd
go for dinner comfort.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
But you know, so I'm not going to be like, oh, well,
I have to get I have to get rid of
all of his stuff and and do this by you know,
the end of the week.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
That's that's ridiculous. I can't do that.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
It's too it's too much, and it's too overwhelming, and
you know, and then that just leads to me walking
around the house muttering to myself.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Right, nobody wants you to do that. No, right, So,
but this is why I told you, Diane.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
And you were kind last Wednesday to send me a
happy birthday message. But the first thing you did when
you got here this morning was bring me a gift.
It was awkward because Elliot thought it was for him.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I did, but when he held out his hand, this
isn't for You're so bad?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
I thought it was like, oh, Elli, it's been so
good to me over the last month.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
That but of all the things to have running through
your mind and yesterday and preparing to come back, it
was crazy that you would be thinking of others in
this time and needing to get that to me.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So thank you very much welcome. But also my idea
wasn't the latest gift Elliott's. It did come a day late, right,
and Diane's was like five days late.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I wasn't here.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
You could have driven in and dropped it off and gone
back home. I even said to Diane, that's right, I
still have to text you again.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Can I just haha?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Something I did that to Josh last week.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
I said to Diane, I said, uh, looking forward to
Monday for one reason and one reason alone, that gift.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
No. No, well, I can tell you it's very nice
to have you back.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
It is very very nice to have to have you back.
I'm sure in the next well break or days or weeks,
I will say something inappropriately wrong. Just let me know,
Just let me know.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Like what I don't know, but I heard stuff when
she was at home.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Oh and you call me a bit the Yeah, but
I didn't know you were going to be listening on vacation.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
There it is. Did you hear him refer to it
as vacation?
Speaker 3 (23:55):
The one week was fine, the next two started to
turn into a little time.
Speaker 5 (24:01):
And I am I am very appreciative of being And
then I realize that's a luxury because I googled it,
like what is the what what does the average person take?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
What time?
Speaker 5 (24:11):
Amount of time does the average person take? And a
lot of a lot of the Google searches said like
three to five.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Days, five days.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Which is because they have to get back to work.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Yeah, but they don't work for people like me who
have such a big.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
But I was just thinking, like the thought of having
to come back after three to five days.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
That seems honestly, that seems impossible is cruel. That seems
impossible would be cruel.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
To somebody because you're still it's still real raw, and
and there is there is stuff that you have to
do administratively that they want to get done, and and
and you just don't have.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
To have death certificates back and.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
No, no, and you and and you have to you know,
and that's a roadblock for a lot of things, like, well,
we can't do anything till you that's certificate and then
it I mean, within three to five days, there's just
there's not a lot you can do except that's the
time that everybody wants to be around you the most.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
But is that is that really normal, three to five days.
The bills don't stop.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, no, no, I understand the bills don't stop. But
that's also that's also hard on somebody.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Maybe that can be a cause for you, Diane, where
you work to change the cultures within business and allow
for longer bereavement policies and bereavement pay.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Can I get my house organized first?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I don't like that term, but bereavement that's what it is. No,
I know, I know, but it doesn't hit hard enough. Uh,
I know, to tiptoe if you hear to be wall
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Like, you don't bard into a conversation at the water
cooler if you hear that, oh, who's bereaving
Well, you ask Diane how she's doing. Absolutely, Diane, I'm
so glad you're back, and how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Thank you? I am doing okay good? Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Well, all right, very good. Well listen, I'll.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
He's he's only been gone a month.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
The yes, Yes, that is true. Yeah, that is true.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
The the I feel like I don't know about I
can tell you from Maan.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I feel like it's been a long month.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Yeah, so it feels verse before you if you need
to gather your thoughts. He seems very much willing to
share his own.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I would say yes and no.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
In terms of whether it feels like it's been a
long time, right, yeah, but I don't know to talk.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah, I don't know what to ask. I don't know
what to ask.
Speaker 5 (00:52):
I would start by saying, I am so so so
appreciative right of everybody reaching out right, you three especially
and family and friends and listeners and friends of the show.
I mean, I was overwhelmed at the amount of support,
(01:12):
and you do.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's crazy to say, but you do feel.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
It, do you really?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
No, that's good. That's really really good.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
And not not just from people you see, but just
whether it's emails or notes and stuff like that.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yeah, and people continuing to check in too, right, because
a lot of people say that, you know, like right
after you lose somebody like that, that everybody is on
top of you and are you okay? And what can
I do? And here's some food and and then it
kind of goes away.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Right, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Well, it's like my buddy Milkman who send the text.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
No no, But like my buddy Sam lost his wife
a year and a half ago.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
And he has been checking in a lot, which I
love because he always makes me laugh.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The I didn't realize though that he was going to
and you so many book titles, I.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Know, and I was like, I didn't know that there
was going to be this much reading.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Are you reading Walden?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Also, no, I am, I'm not reading anything.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Oh, don't tell Sam that. Don't tell Sam that. No.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
No.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
But I always thought that when Sam when when when
Sam lost his wife, and and then obviously when when
Scott passed, he was talking about how like early on
you do have that that that outpouring of support and
that outpouring of like people reaching out and he's like,
it's it's great because you're it's kind of he always.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Talked about it and and and you could tell me
if it's right.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
It's kind of this suspended reality of.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
It's just it's weird.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Isn't the right word, but it's it doesn't seem real,
but it's very real at the same time.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Totally accurate.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
And he said, like at some.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Point the bagels stopped coming, Yeah, And that was always
what he said, is that early on, there's there's there's
a flood of love and support and emotion and food
and and and every everything under and every and it
all comes from a really good place. And then at
some point, like people are like okay, and.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
Then people get back to their lives and then you
have to now people, I've had several people ask me
with like what do you think your life's going to
look like now? And like I have no idea. I
really don't because and that I mean going back to
the what what you have to deal with right in
(03:32):
terms of this is a person that we were married
for twenty five years and this suddenly he's not here anymore. Right,
He's gone, and now I have to get used to
what my life is going to look like.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Correct.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
And the other thing that you've you've probably heard when
somebody passes that there is a lot of paperwork that
is involved that does not even scratch the surface. I
would spend days right at the at the kitchen encounter
with my laptop, either making phone calls, texting people, emailing people.
(04:07):
You know what I heard a lot of in the
last month of everybody uses this whole music, and it
would it would start to make.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
Excuse me, I'll be right with you, Yeah, it would
start to make me laugh because it was almost like
because it was it was almost like I was gambling
like this.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You have to like find.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Humor and stuff like that, right, because if not, you're
just you. I can't sit in that house and cry
all day, right, you know, right?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
The the the other thing and and and I mean listen,
you would tell me things like you need twenty million
death certificates, Yeah, to be even for stuff that you
would go like cell phone bills and transferring accounts and
all that other stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Everybody needs a.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Death certificate, so you got to get like nive hundred
of them to cover everything. But you know what, you
know what the the the I mean, there's listen, there's
a behind the scenes, there's a ton of lessons that
come out of being close to somebody who goes who
goes through this is you know what, you know, what
you and Scott did really really well and take away,
(05:23):
you know, being married and raising a daughter all that
other stuff is the fact that he had every password
to everything imaginable. I think of that now, like, at
some point I got to sit down with Jackie and go,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I couldn't even get into my.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Bank account everything he wrote down, it's it's credit card logins,
banking logins, patient portals, his email streaming services.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Well, I can't do this anymore. Stop What's Netflix? You
changed it again?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You know? But Hoole sixty nine, just make them all
the same.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
That to me, I was I wanted to highlight that
it is invaluable because it's you have so much work
to do that makes it so much easier.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
But you know the were you able to ever listen
to music through your echo?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Mike, Mike and Kristen came over on Saturday night and
Mike got it set.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Up in like two minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Are you serious? We went over to Diane's one day.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Well, before we get there, wait, hold on, hold on,
hold on, no, but I do I do want to
say one thing though, going back to.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Like passwords and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yes, is that good bad?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
I don't know which one's right or not.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
But but Scott had been sick for a little while,
so there was there was time to organize. If you
I don't know the right word, right, I'm pussy footing
around this like crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
But some people, some people I hate saying this word.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Some people die instantly or expect unexpectedly.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yes, get that.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Stuff done like that really is a lesson and listen,
I don't I don't want it to be so, but
he goes through an illness. I don't want it to
be unexpectedly. I don't want it to be any of that.
But get that done. Because you're right, you wouldn't be
able to watch Netflix.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's you. You just don't realize.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
And it's gotten as as everybody is so much more
connected and online and everything, I feel like it's gotten
that much more complicated and the amount of things that
you have to attend to are infinite. What about let's
and it's not only his stuff, because I mean he
had everything pretty much on auto pay, but I had
to go through and log into his banking and make
(07:31):
sure that things were getting paid right, And then I'm
looking at charges, going, why is he paying one hundred
dollars a month to Microsoft? I got to look into that, right,
and you know what I mean, it's probably some business amount.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Now, it's some business thing.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
But I got to make sure Marley's stuff is all
paid because he had you know, her rent and Georgia power.
And then I've got to make sure his mom's stuff
is covered right too. So just having that was a huge,
huge help.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, no, that is That is one thing I learned.
Back to the real.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Issue getting stabbed in the back his husband is that
because he do you guys use phone music?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Oh see, I used the free iHeartRadio music app. No
you don't, Yes I do?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
No you yes I do.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
That was the problem. Loyal to the company. You stabbed
two people now in the back.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So we went over to Diane's house one day and
we couldn't get.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Diane's playing her music through the TV.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
He really wanted to listen to the new Harry Styles record.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
That's what it was, was it really? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Oh but Diane's or I was just playing it on
the speaker on my phone.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah yeah, right, And so but Diane was like, I
don't know, Scott made it come through the Alexa device,
and so Tyler was like, I'll fix it.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I didn't. Twenty minutes later, Diane's like, you don't have
to worry about that anymore. But you and Mike got
it done. Oh that's awesome, that's great. Yeah, say look
how we're here for you.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Listen to it all day yesterday. Alexis kip, Alexis skip.
I'm not feeling that right now, Alexa Skip.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I loved it.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
What else did we learn? What else did we learn?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
It's very So.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
He passed away on March fourteenth, and within we were
able to stay with him for a while. Then we
had to go tell his mom and stay with her
for a while because she had been at the hospital
earlier in the day.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
But then she decided to go back home.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
And then when Marley and I got home that night,
we were just kind of sitting around. I of course
turned on the pit in the background, of course, because
I didn't need to because I needed more time in
a hospital. But you then the phone rings and it's
the organ donation people, right, And he had literally been
(09:49):
dead a few hours at that point, right, and they're like, listen,
we're so sorry for your loss. But as you know,
when it comes to organ donation, time is of the essence. Sure,
so I have about I've got about an hour's worth
of questions. I need to ask you what's a good time?
And I was like not now, bitch, please, I was like,
(10:13):
can you can you give me a couple hours?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
And so it is and then they but.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
It's quick, right, yeah, because you don't have a lot
of time. Right.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
So they were able to use his corneas and some
heart valves. So they let you know the next morning
what what they were.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Able to tell you what they used.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Yeah, they said, if you don't want to know, or
if you don't want us to email you or a
text you about it, that's fine, but we will text
you to let you know what we were able to use.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Oh no, kid, yeah really? But then do you find
out where it goes?
Speaker 4 (10:45):
No?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Could you have asked?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
But that's the other thing too, is like you you're
you're overwhelmed, doesn't doesn't do it justice? Or you're just
like looking you know, I'm like looking around, like how
am I going to hand all of this by myself like,
I like, look at there's all of his clothes, and
there's all of his medications, and and you're just like,
I don't need cookbooks, Like I get I should get
(11:11):
rid of those. And then you're just and then you're
just like looking around.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, yeah, well you don't cook.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
No, that's that's another thing I should get into too.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
But but it's like, but I like to start a
task and complete a task and then cross it off
a list, right. So the only thing that I could
do at that point that was pretty quick was clear
out the DVR, right because Scott had been bitching of like,
you know, we're about seventy percent full on, and I
was like, well, it's not just me with some housewives
(11:46):
that I haven't been able to catch up on. So
I went through and cleared out Diner's drive ins and dives,
this old house, and one hundred and forty six episodes
of mach.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I was like, they have raised the light from the deviceless.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
I spent a long time with You would have thought
he was only using a fire stick.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I know, how many fire sticks do we have?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
You?
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Well, because he was like, well, they're only like twenty
five dollars.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yeah, no, a ton of fire sticks in the house.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
But that was the other thing too.
Speaker 5 (12:21):
It's like the utility closet, like all of the the
kitchen things.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
He was the cook, right, all of the kitchen.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Things that we had in there, and now my sister
is selling them for me on Facebook marketplaces.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Wouldn't it be she's.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Been a saint, she's been.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Would wouldn't it be nice to let like, maybe some
people close to you come over and pick.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Through some things that we might want. No, maybe there's
like a kitchen appliants that I would.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Like the Facebook marketplace. Maybe I'll give you a discount.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
So your sister's like meeting up with people.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah, she sells stuff on marketplace all theory.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
This is her thing. Yeah right, yeah, the like grill stuff.
She's like, look, half am I doing with a grill? Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
And I was gonna excuse myself and walk out back
and see if there was anything.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I needed and the smoker, yeah, oh that I could use.
That I could use.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
No, I gotta I got a food dehydrator.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
The which is, by the way, I know that you
don't dehydrate a lot of food.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No, No Coastguard Kurd has one. He loves it, loves it.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
So you're not gonna make like a you won't make
like a brisket and then freeze part of it?
Speaker 5 (13:24):
Am I doing that in the smoker that I won't
use outside?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yes, in the smoker you should do it.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Yeah, it's no, it's it's there's just so much stuff
to get any start to think about that.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
I'm not sure if Diane will take your comments in
the last few seconds as it's insensitive.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
So I'm good.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
And then if there is any doubt in your mind
right that our phones are always listening to us. Right,
all of my targeted ads now are grief counseling and
get your jewelry made with your loved one's ashes.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
That's all it is. That's cute now, So.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
You're not doing that. No, you're not going to get
the jewelry.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
No, I don't think so what what's that motion?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Then maybe I'll take a look.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
And of course this all had to happen during tax time.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
The oh are you doing? Don't doing this year?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I mean now they were.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Taxes in the house Scott, of course he did. Yes,
so do what I do? Say again?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
No, we're done? Oh you finished?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
The Yeah? Are you serious. Wait, you got it done
by yourself? No? Oh okay, no.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
No, no, no, the same company that we've used for years. Right,
but I'm we're axes.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Do the fifteenth God damn it, this week the on Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Yeah, you get a big refund.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
No, we owed the.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I'm like you sure about that?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
The room?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Did you put a note in there? And says like,
I don't feel like paying this year. I've been through
some stuff. Now, I've been through some.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Stuff and then I think I found our new bit.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Okay, no, okay.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
I'm gonna mention signs that I get from Scott to
know that he's okay, and you're going to debunk them
and everybody, I'll call you a dick.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I did in person that a visit. Oh god, I
did that right in your house. I just kept eating
my sandwich during all that.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Right, by the way, shout out to Panera. We paid
for it, but that was a good sandwich. That that
fit the moment. No, no, that fit the that fit
the moment.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah. No, there were a couple there were a couple
of words.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Diane was like, I know what you're gonna say, but
I feel like this is Scott.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I was like, no, it's not.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I talked to him all the time, right, is that?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Can I can I ask you this? And I don't.
I don't what's the what's the right word. I don't.
I don't know what the right word is.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
A buddy of mine, a buddy of mine's son died
of an overdose within the last year, and he went
back to work and then I'll get back to you
talk to him all the time.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, and he would.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
He went back to work as as people do, and
when people would see him at the office being him himself,
if you will, people would go, oh, hey, it's nice,
it's good to see you. Back to normal, and he
would go, I'm not normal. I'll never I'll never be normal.
(16:32):
I understand what they're saying, and I understand what the
meaning behind it is of you seem like you're back
to I don't know what the I don't know what
the right word is. But the the it's not normal,
he would say, like, there's nothing I lost my kid.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It's not normal.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
But he also understood that it came from a place
of people saying that they were happy to see him
and that.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
It was good to see him, not.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Sad and miserable, and he's like, there are still times
where I'm very sad and I'm very miserable. There's a
lot of times like that. So he understood the normal word,
if you will. So Ever, since he told me that,
because I know I've been guilty of saying that to
people in the past, of like, oh, it looks like
you're getting back to normal, right, And I never understood
(17:24):
how that would be triggering to somebody who it's not normal,
Like their life is not normal. It's completely changed, it
will never unchange. It starts a whole new chapter, a
whole new starting point of of of who you are.
But that word, that word means from an outsider, is
(17:48):
meant in a very positive way.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, I wouldn't think that that's anything.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
So that's not that's not going to throw you.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
No, I don't think so, because it is. It's it's
there are times.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
That I get really really right.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
I was weepy as hell yesterday and I was just like, Oh,
you've got to get it together.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
You're going back to work tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Amen.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, No, I mean that the uh there is ladies, gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I knew walking into the term is going to be
like a big hug.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
It is it is no. No, But I was going
to say, is that is that? Like you said, you
talk to him all the time? Right, do they say
that is a I don't want to use the word normal,
but I'm going.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
To I bet that's completely normal.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yes, where that goes on regularly.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Yeah, it's like I said, it's like you know, you
you you can't prepare for this, like I you don't
know what it's like to be in your by yourself
so much when you're used to having somebody around you.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Right, And it's not like when Jackie goes away for
the weekend.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
I'm like, yeah, no, no, because then you know she's
coming back Sunday.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Correct, yeah, correct? The And then what was I was
going to ask you? One other thing? Not is the Oh?
And they say you should never you should never sell
your house within a year.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
That was one of the first things I was uttering
walking around.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Where does that come from?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
This is just no nothing?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
Yeah, they said nothing drastic in it in a year
and and I remember I said, makes sense. Yeah, I
said that. I was like, I don't what do I
It's just it's just me. I don't what do I
need this house for? I should get rid of it,
and my sister's like, no, you're supposed to wait a year.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
But they but they do always say that, they're like,
there's of.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
Course I wasn't serious, but you're just so you're you're
kind of thought about it. You're kind of exasperated. You're
just like this is this is stupid, right?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
You know?
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:37):
No, because I would also like, because I had that
conversation with Sam when when when Jody passed away, and
he was the same thing. He was like, I got
to get rid of this goddamn house, like I don't
want it. Every every place that I look in the
house reminds me of Jody, Like everything in here reminds
me of Jody. And I think it's the same way
where every everything you look at.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
But the smoker, for example.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Would be Netflix would be like, Scott is a reminder.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
But I can also understand, yea, but it's not like
that a reminder is a is a bad thing?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Correct? Correct?
Speaker 5 (20:10):
You know, it's just it it'll give you like a
moment to pause and think about it, and then it's
kind of like, okay, you know, I talked to him
a lot. I talk to myself a lot because I'm
by myself in that house. The cats are like, I
think she's going crazy?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Is it? Is it good to be back? I mean
it's only been an hour at work.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
I told you I needed some some sort of schedule
again after having not had one because my sister who
is retired.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I'm like, is this what it's like to be retired?
Like you do not know what day it is?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Right?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
You don't know? That's not good And it's just.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
You just need to have some sort of a schedule
that's order and schedules are normal, that are normal to
me and a comfort to me. And I could I
could have, you know, taken another two weeks and just
sat at that kitchen island trying to make phone calls
and it just I'll get to it.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, exactly, I'll get to it.
Speaker 5 (21:17):
And I'm only gonna I'm trying to make a schedule
for myself that is going to say, Okay, don't just
like I should have gone out and left the house yesterday.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I didn't leave the house. It was beautiful out. I
should have. I should have.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Been outside, of course, but I didn't because I just
felt like I had too much stuff to get to
tie up loose ends to come back to work.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
You want to go to out back tonight?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Why out back?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I don't know. I'm just thinking of some place we'd
go for dinner comfort.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
But you know, so I'm not going to be like, oh, well,
I have to get I have to get rid of
all of his stuff and and do this by you know,
the end of the week.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
That's that's ridiculous. I can't do that.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
It's too it's too much, and it's too overwhelming, and
you know, and then that just leads to me walking
around the house muttering to myself.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Right, nobody wants you to do that. No, right, So,
but this is why I told you, Diane.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
And you were kind last Wednesday to send me a
happy birthday message. But the first thing you did when
you got here this morning was bring me a gift.
It was awkward because Elliot thought it was for him.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I did, but when he held out his hand, this
isn't for You're so bad?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
I thought it was like, oh, Elli, it's been so
good to me over the last month.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
That but of all the things to have running through
your mind and yesterday and preparing to come back, it
was crazy that you would be thinking of others in
this time and needing to get that to me.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So thank you very much welcome. But also my idea
wasn't the latest gift Elliott's. It did come a day late, right,
and Diane's was like five days late.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I wasn't here.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
You could have driven in and dropped it off and gone
back home. I even said to Diane, that's right, I
still have to text you again.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Can I just haha?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Something I did that to Josh last week.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
I said to Diane, I said, uh, looking forward to
Monday for one reason and one reason alone, that gift.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
No. No, well, I can tell you it's very nice
to have you back.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
It is very very nice to have to have you back.
I'm sure in the next well break or days or weeks,
I will say something inappropriately wrong. Just let me know,
Just let me know.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Like what I don't know, but I heard stuff when
she was at home.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Oh and you call me a bit the Yeah, but
I didn't know you were going to be listening on vacation.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
There it is. Did you hear him refer to it
as vacation?
Speaker 3 (23:55):
The one week was fine, the next two started to
turn into a little time.
Speaker 5 (24:01):
And I am I am very appreciative of being And
then I realize that's a luxury because I googled it,
like what is the what what does the average person take?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
What time?
Speaker 5 (24:11):
Amount of time does the average person take? And a
lot of a lot of the Google searches said like
three to five.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Days, five days.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Which is because they have to get back to work.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Yeah, but they don't work for people like me who
have such a big.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
But I was just thinking, like the thought of having
to come back after three to five days.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
That seems honestly, that seems impossible is cruel. That seems
impossible would be cruel.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
To somebody because you're still it's still real raw, and
and there is there is stuff that you have to
do administratively that they want to get done, and and
and you just don't have.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
To have death certificates back and.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
No, no, and you and and you have to you know,
and that's a roadblock for a lot of things, like, well,
we can't do anything till you that's certificate and then
it I mean, within three to five days, there's just
there's not a lot you can do except that's the
time that everybody wants to be around you the most.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
But is that is that really normal, three to five days.
The bills don't stop.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, no, no, I understand the bills don't stop. But
that's also that's also hard on somebody.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Maybe that can be a cause for you, Diane, where
you work to change the cultures within business and allow
for longer bereavement policies and bereavement pay.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Can I get my house organized first?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I don't like that term, but bereavement that's what it is. No,
I know, I know, but it doesn't hit hard enough. Uh,
I know, to tiptoe if you hear to be wall
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Like, you don't bard into a conversation at the water
cooler if you hear that, oh, who's bereaving
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