November 5, 2025 • 20 mins
Post-tattoo stress disorder.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My daughter was involved in a horrible freak accident on
the fourth of July and by all accounts, should not
have survived. Her entire family witnessed the whole thing, and
there are still times I get emotional even thinking about
or talking about it, because it was so horrible. We
(00:21):
are so lucky she survived and she was so strong
and brave throughout the whole thing. But as a parent,
it was so difficult to see my child in so
much pain, to feel and see her struggle, and to
know that she almost died. I ended up going into
therapy fine and being treated for PTSD.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
My issue is that now she wants to.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Get a firework tattoo and a very visible location as
a way of displaying what she overcame and how strong
she is. My issue is I feel like the tattoo
will be a constant reminder of what happened. She's now
nineteen and can do whatever she wants, but she is
(01:09):
asking like for what we think and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
So the therapy was the parent, yes, well, who was
being treated for PTSD? Was the parent a part of.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
This saw it like witnessed fault. I don't think so.
I mean, listen that you don't.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
You don't learn anything about the You don't learn anything
about the incident.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
It just leads you to believe that she got dinged
up pretty bad from a firework explosion.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Right, And according to the mom, is lucky to be
a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
But the parent is not worried that the tattoo will
one day upset the daughter. She doesn't like.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, it's for her. It's a constant. It's very visial.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
It's not like she's getting it like on the inside
of her ass crack like it is.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's gonna be very visible.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, So she's saying, now every time I see it,
I'm gonna be triggered.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I'm going to be.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
That's right, upset, beyond upset seeing it because it was
such a traumatic experience.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I don't think you can say anything. I mean you can,
you can, yes, you can express your feelings and your opinion,
but at that age, it's not like she's got to
get permission.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
And then I was trying to think what I like,
would I get a tattoo to commemorate that maybe, But again,
like we look at it and go like, oh, that
shit got blown up by fireworks. She looks at it
and goes this taught me how strong I am. So
she views it completely differently.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I get that.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I think it's not the same because it's it's not
an accident, but a tattoo that's come to mind, and
maybe it's more aware the tattoos are received or are done.
But are their parents who hate seeing their kids jail tattoos? Yes,
(03:16):
you see what I'm saying. I would because it reminds me,
I would of what their child did.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Oh, just like like jail house tattoos.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
She's getting a tattoo that's commemorating what happened, not something that,
in the sentence, was done in prison.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
No, So what you're saying is like, just so I'm clear,
you're not saying somebody who got like their prison number, no,
but somebody who just got inked in prison.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I'm trying to think of a tattoo that would upset
a parent, and I said, it's not my examples and definitely.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Not no, no, but that is a good one.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I don't know that it would upset like if my
boys went to jail, Oh my god, the but got
got ink in there. I don't know that them actually
getting the tattoo would bother me the actual tattoo.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
But you're right, is it a reminder of what it was? Yeah?
Probably probably yes? Oh what Diane is adamant?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Would it bother you because it's a prison tattoo?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Or would it bother you that it's just.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
A tattoo a prison tattoo?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Right? So for you it's a constant reminder they were
in prison, but you know.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
They had to lie for five years where you were.
And now everybody's gonna know. No, she's abroad.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Oh she got locked up overseas. I love that show. Yeah,
I get it. I mean that that is a really
good example. That is a good example.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
But is there something that's closer to this? You said
it was going to be a firework tattoo?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yeah, and again I don't know, like maybe she blew
herself up with like a Roman candle or something.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I have no idea. I have no idea, but whatever,
it was a bad accident.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I can't off the time I had come with another one.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I was trying to think, have I, like, have I
been any Like I haven't been near death?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
But like I'm not getting a tattoo of like.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Deichi laying on my leg to commemorate, like my broken ankle,
and like, is that going to trigger the team?
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Like, that's not that it would him.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
See, that's fair.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
Every time, that's not fair. Remember that time I broke
your ankle?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, that's but the I will say this, I like
the idea that she's getting the tattoo for that reason.
I like the idea. I like the sentiment behind it
because again.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
For her.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Express that it upsets them.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Then why are you expressing your upset inist that Marley
went to jail?
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Oh, because this is me, this is her.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
No, she almost watched her child die.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Yeah, but I'm saying all you had to do was
go visit. I would hate it. I would hate it.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
But maybe if she doesn't want to make her kid
feel bad about that?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Right, And but Marley came out of jail going, you
know what, I'm a better person for what happened.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
You still went to jail.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yes, but I'm a better person for it.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
What if they were in there and they were innocent?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Okay, the odds of that are so slim. No, but yes,
does it happen.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Yes, it's an Innocence Project tattoo.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Then I would get that put right underneath it Innocence Project.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
We're going, We're going together.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
So here's another bucket, because I don't think this can
go in the first one or the second one. What
if it's a tattoo tied to an ex partner?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Oh, that happens all the time. That happens all the time.
Time are you talking about where? Like, give me, give me.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Any woman's name, first name or last name, first name,
give me just any woman's name.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Kristen, Oh my god, Kara.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Kara beautiful. So my first wife was Kara, and I
have a big Kara tattoo on my arm. And now
I'm married to Jackie.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh that all the time.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
I know the child we're talking about kids getting tattoos.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah you, oh, son, My boys have a tattoo that
says Kara.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Or they got something for your.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Elliot and Kara and now here's Jackie. But that's not
their their.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Mom'll sell their mom.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
No, it's not Jackie's not their mom.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Kara's the mom.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Oh yeah, I'm saying. So the tattoo would be for Jackie.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Oh, so they got one that said Elliott and Jackie.
But every like every so often they see Kara.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
If I'm Kara.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
The hell is Cara, that's my first wife. Oh No,
that's confusing because it's not. No, I'm saying it just
tend that you and Jackie were no longer together.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Oh, but I got to see a tattoo that says
get something that was for Jackie?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Am I amicable you? While he was sleeping? I'd go
in there with steel wool and scrape it off.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
That would no, Yeah, you would hate it. You would
hate it. You would hate it.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
So again, I think it's another category.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
It is a different category.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
And listen, there are tattoos that parents just don't like.
Right for me, that's all of.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Them, right, traps, tramp stamp.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
But I'm saying things that could be triggering, yes, whether
it be an accident, a prison sentence, or a relationship.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
But the relationship one is also good.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
And I'll tell you why, because sometimes sometimes parents don't
tell kids all the details as to why there is
a divorce. So you you may just say, hey, listen,
we fell out of love for each other. Yeah, and
there's no and the and we fell out of love
really me is because she she was hooking up and
hunkering down on six or seven different dogs. So like
(09:08):
that part doesn't come out because you don't want to
tell the kids that their mom's a whore, So it
would just be what happened.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
The tattoo was only five dogs.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
But when you see the tattoo, they're like, oh, I
love my mom, And in your mind you're like, if
you knew what this filthy slut was doing, you would
feel differently.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Yeah, now I'm with you. Now I'm with you. Oh
hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I would at that point. No, at that point, I
think I'd have to tell my kid. I'd have to
be like, we're talking and nut stuff bottom mine?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Where am I going? Kristen line one, Hi Elliott in
the morning.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Well, that congressation took a weird turn.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Anyway, Who is this.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Saying my daughter got burned by fireworks? It was a
kind of I told you so a moment my brother
was shooting fireworks. I was like, hey, do that further away,
and it fell over and she had a nylon jacket,
so it burned through the jack and melted it to
her bicep when she was like five years old. So
I've always thought, you know, she doesn't seem self conscious
at the moment. She's only thirteen. Now, but I've always thought,
(10:18):
you know what, if she asked to get it covered
up because it's a scar. I mean, it happened to her,
it's dramatic. For me, I felt guilty as a parent.
I didn't do better to prevent it from happening. But
I could see if you wanted a tattoo. I'm not
a tattoo guy. I don't really if they're just not
for me. But if she wanted it, I would probably
be like your.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Toy, even if it was even if it was a firework,
to cover up the scar from the firework.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
As long as it's not don Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Wow, So maybe maybe the.
Speaker 6 (10:59):
Girl's self conscios about her car.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
But did you have anything in there about it covering up?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
No, it doesn't say anything about covering it up. Yeah,
it doesn't say anything about covering it up. Okay. And
by the way, I know, and I know that this
isn't going to change your mind, but don't feel guilty.
You didn't shoot the firework at her.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
You know, the fireworks hit us and everybody else. It
bounced off because we're all wearing like car hearts and stuff.
But her jacket, it actually melted through the jacket and
when I pulled the jacket, it was stuck to her again.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, now I get it. Never mind.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I was said, all right, very good, very good, Thank you, sir,
thank you my friend. Line three, Hi elliot in the morning.
Speaker 7 (11:42):
Hi is this?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Who's this?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (11:45):
Hi Marcy, I'm calling because.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Hearing this story.
Speaker 8 (11:51):
Like, my daughter went through a really really rough patch
and she was cutting herself and she has a scar
and a very visible spot. And you know, I got
her all those creams to kind of like do away
with scars, you know, especially as she's getting older or whatever.
And you know, like her graduation, her problem she always wore,
(12:12):
you know, I dressed for you could see it, and
and she just said, it's it's a reminder. She doesn't
want to get it, you know, she doesn't want to
put any of those creams to her. It's a reminder
of where she survives. And I to me as a
mom of the pain, well no, well yeah, look, whether
(12:33):
or not you're looking at a tattoo or a scar,
the pain is always going to be there, right to me.
To me, the scar shows me her strength. Like so
I think this lady just needs a different therapist because Honestly,
it's like, how how could you not see that as
a strength. We're always going to carry guilt as a parent,
(12:55):
you know, I mean, it's inevitable.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
We're going to screw up.
Speaker 8 (12:58):
It doesn't come with a manual.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
It's the hardest work.
Speaker 8 (13:00):
It's the hardest job on the planet. And our parents screwed.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Up with us.
Speaker 6 (13:05):
We're gonna screw up with our chansm and whatever.
Speaker 8 (13:07):
But it's to me, it's just it's just a it's
just a I'm so proud of her that she kind
of sees it that way and she hasn't become self
conscious about it.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
You know, you own it, you know, good for you,
more importantly, good for her, for her, good for her.
Speaker 8 (13:23):
Yeah yeah, yeah, So anyway, I just wanted to share that.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Oh, that's pretty good. That's pretty good.
Speaker 8 (13:28):
And she, by the way, loves you guys, and she
every time you guys start talking about something, you know.
Speaker 7 (13:33):
Like morbid or whatever, she's just like cracking cracking up,
you know, in the cars.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And uh, if I could encourage her, if she does
decide to cover it up like with like e I
TM online, that would look cool.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Oh I'll let her know.
Speaker 7 (13:49):
I'll let her know that you're suggested.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Awesome, all right, very good. I appreciate it, Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yes, on Facebook, I have a child who nearly died
from an eating disorder. She has a tattoo to commemorate
the recovery. I gave her permission to get it done
before she even turned eighteen.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh really, what is the tattoo?
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Does not say?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Man, but regardless of what it is, obviously no.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But don't you want another nose? Oh yeah, no, the
of your course of course, of course, I want to
know what it is.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
But that's more. That's more like the firework case. Yeah, yeah,
very much so than it is jail and divorce.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Line four. Hi, elliot in the morning?
Speaker 9 (14:40):
Hey is this me?
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:41):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Who's this? Hi?
Speaker 8 (14:43):
This is Forney.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
How are you good? What can I do for you?
Speaker 9 (14:47):
I'm telling because it's a little different of a situation,
but kind of similar. My husband and I adopted our
oldest son and when he was born, his birth mother
tattooed his initials on her forearm, and she she said
it it was like a way to remember him, and
it's a piece of her story. And her parents were
very uncomfortable with that. They said that they thought it
(15:08):
was just going to be too painful of a reminder
for everybody, you know. It kind of it broke their
hearts that she had to place him for adoption, and
they asked, you know, our opinion, and we were like, well,
I mean, I see the parents side of it, but
I also I also told the morth mom side of it,
because you know, she did forth him and it is
the big piece of her story.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
So yeah, but didn't you rename it?
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Can?
Speaker 9 (15:31):
No, we chose it. So we actually met her before
our son was born, and she allowed us to choose
his name. So we picked out the name.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh so like you went with like I'm making up
initials KD and she got KD on her arm.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Oh, because I was like she could walk around.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
With like z C and be like, who's ever?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I don't even know that kid?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, the cloned dog. Interesting one.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, but
that's unheard. Like do you have any relationship with her now?
Not really.
Speaker 9 (16:03):
We when we went into it, it was you know,
an open adoption, and we kind of told her, hey,
you know, we'll share pictures, we're friends on social media.
We would happily set up like visitation, like we would
never leave him alone. We were happy to meet up
and have dinner whatever. And we did that a few
times very early on. But she kind of moved on
(16:25):
with her life and had some big changes, and so
we haven't really spoken for probably the last ten years.
And it's you know, there's no animosity, but it's but
she's definitely moved on with her life.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
With ours and excellent that all worked out, all right,
very good, very good. That's a good one.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I certainly didn't think of that greatest listeners in the world.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well, it really happened to her. These were just out
of my imagination.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Well, yeah, no, I was talking about the listeners.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I feel.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Really piss you Wait which one her story? No, that
didn't piss me off, not if you if you Usian
in her story.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Freaking hate it? Yes, I would hate it. Yes, yeah,
I would hate it. That would bother me.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
That would bother But you're it's not like it's your child,
it's so it actually is.
Speaker 9 (17:22):
No.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
No, No, I'm saying you can't tell the biological mother
what she can do to her body.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
No, but that's why, I mean, so we just learned
a valuable lesson, which is, don't give him the real name.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
He can pick some initials. It's going to be wrong.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
His name is Zachary Clark.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
You're really stuck on that z C.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Well, because I had gone with that. You see how
he went back and chose names for that. I told
you I'm smart today, and.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
You got to keep it up at those dinners the
first year.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, hey, Zachary, Zachary.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Baby's so dumb.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
He doesn't even listen. He's probably deaf from his birth mother. AnyWho, Hi,
Elliott the morning, Good morning with me? Yeah, Hi, who's thish? Hi?
This is Kim.
Speaker 7 (18:13):
I am calling as a parent who has a tattoo
that gives me PTSD and empowers me at the same time.
Related to the first question, Okay, so my son died
in a car accident and his last tattoo became my
first tattoo. And so how that parent talked about you know,
(18:35):
if her daughter gets it, it gives her PTSD, right,
I can totally relate to that. I know, you know,
it's sounded a little weird, like why would that happen
if it's on her daughter's body, But as a parent,
you know, reflecting back on that event. I mean the
PTSD of that day, an event you know, in this case,
the fireworks very much could could trigger PTSD.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Character sure, and I get that the same thing with yours.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
By the way, I will say this, I don't obviously
I don't know what the tattoo was, but I think
that's beautiful.
Speaker 7 (19:13):
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty badass.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
What can I can I ask what the tattoo is?
Speaker 7 (19:19):
Yeah, it's uh, he designed it. So he had fourteen tattoos,
so this was his last one, and he actually explained
it to me in detail. He designed it and it's
his music journey from fifth grade through fifth year in college.
And each note represents part of his journey.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
That's awesome. And so that was his last too. So
that so you got that as your first tattoo.
Speaker 7 (19:44):
Yeah, yeah, that was his last, like he explained to
me about a month before his car accident.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Right, but you know what, like that that is it?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But I get I get why you say, like you
see it and it like that's yeah, right, you know what,
Like I can't put myself in your shoes of of
of how painful that is. But every time you see it,
But it's not like if you didn't have that, and
I hate somebody else had mentioned it before. If you
didn't have that tattoo, it's not like you wouldn't be reminded.
(20:15):
I get that, But there is something really nice about that.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I really like that.
Speaker 7 (20:20):
Yeah, thank you, Yeah, I think I I just heard
Tyler saying like he couldn't understand how the parent on
the child's body, which cause the PTSD, and I definitely
did not say that.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I definitely did not say that.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
I got the Hey, listen, I appreciate it. Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you. I love that one. I love that one.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Every tattoo a child of mine got would be triggering.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
It doesn't matter what it is. I get that
My daughter was involved in a horrible freak accident on
the fourth of July and by all accounts, should not
have survived. Her entire family witnessed the whole thing, and
there are still times I get emotional even thinking about
or talking about it, because it was so horrible. We
(00:21):
are so lucky she survived and she was so strong
and brave throughout the whole thing. But as a parent,
it was so difficult to see my child in so
much pain, to feel and see her struggle, and to
know that she almost died. I ended up going into
therapy fine and being treated for PTSD.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
My issue is that now she wants to.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Get a firework tattoo and a very visible location as
a way of displaying what she overcame and how strong
she is. My issue is I feel like the tattoo
will be a constant reminder of what happened. She's now
nineteen and can do whatever she wants, but she is
(01:09):
asking like for what we think and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
So the therapy was the parent, yes, well, who was
being treated for PTSD? Was the parent a part of.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
This saw it like witnessed fault. I don't think so.
I mean, listen that you don't.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
You don't learn anything about the You don't learn anything
about the incident.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
It just leads you to believe that she got dinged
up pretty bad from a firework explosion.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Right, And according to the mom, is lucky to be
a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
But the parent is not worried that the tattoo will
one day upset the daughter. She doesn't like.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, it's for her. It's a constant. It's very visial.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
It's not like she's getting it like on the inside
of her ass crack like it is.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's gonna be very visible.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, So she's saying, now every time I see it,
I'm gonna be triggered.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I'm going to be.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
That's right, upset, beyond upset seeing it because it was
such a traumatic experience.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I don't think you can say anything. I mean you can,
you can, yes, you can express your feelings and your opinion,
but at that age, it's not like she's got to
get permission.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
And then I was trying to think what I like,
would I get a tattoo to commemorate that maybe, But again,
like we look at it and go like, oh, that
shit got blown up by fireworks. She looks at it
and goes this taught me how strong I am. So
she views it completely differently.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I get that.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I think it's not the same because it's it's not
an accident, but a tattoo that's come to mind, and
maybe it's more aware the tattoos are received or are done.
But are their parents who hate seeing their kids jail tattoos? Yes,
(03:16):
you see what I'm saying. I would because it reminds me,
I would of what their child did.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Oh, just like like jail house tattoos.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
She's getting a tattoo that's commemorating what happened, not something that,
in the sentence, was done in prison.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
No, So what you're saying is like, just so I'm clear,
you're not saying somebody who got like their prison number, no,
but somebody who just got inked in prison.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I'm trying to think of a tattoo that would upset
a parent, and I said, it's not my examples and definitely.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Not no, no, but that is a good one.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I don't know that it would upset like if my
boys went to jail, Oh my god, the but got
got ink in there. I don't know that them actually
getting the tattoo would bother me the actual tattoo.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
But you're right, is it a reminder of what it was? Yeah?
Probably probably yes? Oh what Diane is adamant?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Would it bother you because it's a prison tattoo?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Or would it bother you that it's just.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
A tattoo a prison tattoo?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Right? So for you it's a constant reminder they were
in prison, but you know.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
They had to lie for five years where you were.
And now everybody's gonna know. No, she's abroad.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Oh she got locked up overseas. I love that show. Yeah,
I get it. I mean that that is a really
good example. That is a good example.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
But is there something that's closer to this? You said
it was going to be a firework tattoo?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yeah, and again I don't know, like maybe she blew
herself up with like a Roman candle or something.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I have no idea. I have no idea, but whatever,
it was a bad accident.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I can't off the time I had come with another one.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I was trying to think, have I, like, have I
been any Like I haven't been near death?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
But like I'm not getting a tattoo of like.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Deichi laying on my leg to commemorate, like my broken ankle,
and like, is that going to trigger the team?
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Like, that's not that it would him.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
See, that's fair.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
Every time, that's not fair. Remember that time I broke
your ankle?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, that's but the I will say this, I like
the idea that she's getting the tattoo for that reason.
I like the idea. I like the sentiment behind it
because again.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
For her.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Express that it upsets them.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Then why are you expressing your upset inist that Marley
went to jail?
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Oh, because this is me, this is her.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
No, she almost watched her child die.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Yeah, but I'm saying all you had to do was
go visit. I would hate it. I would hate it.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
But maybe if she doesn't want to make her kid
feel bad about that?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Right, And but Marley came out of jail going, you
know what, I'm a better person for what happened.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
You still went to jail.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yes, but I'm a better person for it.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
What if they were in there and they were innocent?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Okay, the odds of that are so slim. No, but yes,
does it happen.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Yes, it's an Innocence Project tattoo.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Then I would get that put right underneath it Innocence Project.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
We're going, We're going together.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
So here's another bucket, because I don't think this can
go in the first one or the second one. What
if it's a tattoo tied to an ex partner?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Oh, that happens all the time. That happens all the time.
Time are you talking about where? Like, give me, give me.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Any woman's name, first name or last name, first name,
give me just any woman's name.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Kristen, Oh my god, Kara.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Kara beautiful. So my first wife was Kara, and I
have a big Kara tattoo on my arm. And now
I'm married to Jackie.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh that all the time.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
I know the child we're talking about kids getting tattoos.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah you, oh, son, My boys have a tattoo that
says Kara.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Or they got something for your.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Elliot and Kara and now here's Jackie. But that's not
their their.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Mom'll sell their mom.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
No, it's not Jackie's not their mom.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Kara's the mom.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Oh yeah, I'm saying. So the tattoo would be for Jackie.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Oh, so they got one that said Elliott and Jackie.
But every like every so often they see Kara.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
If I'm Kara.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
The hell is Cara, that's my first wife. Oh No,
that's confusing because it's not. No, I'm saying it just
tend that you and Jackie were no longer together.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Oh, but I got to see a tattoo that says
get something that was for Jackie?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Am I amicable you? While he was sleeping? I'd go
in there with steel wool and scrape it off.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
That would no, Yeah, you would hate it. You would
hate it. You would hate it.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
So again, I think it's another category.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
It is a different category.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
And listen, there are tattoos that parents just don't like.
Right for me, that's all of.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Them, right, traps, tramp stamp.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
But I'm saying things that could be triggering, yes, whether
it be an accident, a prison sentence, or a relationship.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
But the relationship one is also good.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
And I'll tell you why, because sometimes sometimes parents don't
tell kids all the details as to why there is
a divorce. So you you may just say, hey, listen,
we fell out of love for each other. Yeah, and
there's no and the and we fell out of love
really me is because she she was hooking up and
hunkering down on six or seven different dogs. So like
(09:08):
that part doesn't come out because you don't want to
tell the kids that their mom's a whore, So it
would just be what happened.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
The tattoo was only five dogs.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
But when you see the tattoo, they're like, oh, I
love my mom, And in your mind you're like, if
you knew what this filthy slut was doing, you would
feel differently.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Yeah, now I'm with you. Now I'm with you. Oh
hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I would at that point. No, at that point, I
think I'd have to tell my kid. I'd have to
be like, we're talking and nut stuff bottom mine?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Where am I going? Kristen line one, Hi Elliott in
the morning.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Well, that congressation took a weird turn.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Anyway, Who is this.
Speaker 6 (09:55):
Saying my daughter got burned by fireworks? It was a
kind of I told you so a moment my brother
was shooting fireworks. I was like, hey, do that further away,
and it fell over and she had a nylon jacket,
so it burned through the jack and melted it to
her bicep when she was like five years old. So
I've always thought, you know, she doesn't seem self conscious
at the moment. She's only thirteen. Now, but I've always thought,
(10:18):
you know what, if she asked to get it covered
up because it's a scar. I mean, it happened to her,
it's dramatic. For me, I felt guilty as a parent.
I didn't do better to prevent it from happening. But
I could see if you wanted a tattoo. I'm not
a tattoo guy. I don't really if they're just not
for me. But if she wanted it, I would probably
be like your.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Toy, even if it was even if it was a firework,
to cover up the scar from the firework.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
As long as it's not don Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Wow, So maybe maybe the.
Speaker 6 (10:59):
Girl's self conscios about her car.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
But did you have anything in there about it covering up?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
No, it doesn't say anything about covering it up. Yeah,
it doesn't say anything about covering it up. Okay. And
by the way, I know, and I know that this
isn't going to change your mind, but don't feel guilty.
You didn't shoot the firework at her.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
You know, the fireworks hit us and everybody else. It
bounced off because we're all wearing like car hearts and stuff.
But her jacket, it actually melted through the jacket and
when I pulled the jacket, it was stuck to her again.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, now I get it. Never mind.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I was said, all right, very good, very good, Thank you, sir,
thank you my friend. Line three, Hi elliot in the morning.
Speaker 7 (11:42):
Hi is this?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Who's this?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (11:45):
Hi Marcy, I'm calling because.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Hearing this story.
Speaker 8 (11:51):
Like, my daughter went through a really really rough patch
and she was cutting herself and she has a scar
and a very visible spot. And you know, I got
her all those creams to kind of like do away
with scars, you know, especially as she's getting older or whatever.
And you know, like her graduation, her problem she always wore,
(12:12):
you know, I dressed for you could see it, and
and she just said, it's it's a reminder. She doesn't
want to get it, you know, she doesn't want to
put any of those creams to her. It's a reminder
of where she survives. And I to me as a
mom of the pain, well no, well yeah, look, whether
(12:33):
or not you're looking at a tattoo or a scar,
the pain is always going to be there, right to me.
To me, the scar shows me her strength. Like so
I think this lady just needs a different therapist because Honestly,
it's like, how how could you not see that as
a strength. We're always going to carry guilt as a parent,
(12:55):
you know, I mean, it's inevitable.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
We're going to screw up.
Speaker 8 (12:58):
It doesn't come with a manual.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
It's the hardest work.
Speaker 8 (13:00):
It's the hardest job on the planet. And our parents screwed.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Up with us.
Speaker 6 (13:05):
We're gonna screw up with our chansm and whatever.
Speaker 8 (13:07):
But it's to me, it's just it's just a it's
just a I'm so proud of her that she kind
of sees it that way and she hasn't become self
conscious about it.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
You know, you own it, you know, good for you,
more importantly, good for her, for her, good for her.
Speaker 8 (13:23):
Yeah yeah, yeah, So anyway, I just wanted to share that.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Oh, that's pretty good. That's pretty good.
Speaker 8 (13:28):
And she, by the way, loves you guys, and she
every time you guys start talking about something, you know.
Speaker 7 (13:33):
Like morbid or whatever, she's just like cracking cracking up,
you know, in the cars.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And uh, if I could encourage her, if she does
decide to cover it up like with like e I
TM online, that would look cool.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Oh I'll let her know.
Speaker 7 (13:49):
I'll let her know that you're suggested.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Awesome, all right, very good. I appreciate it, Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yes, on Facebook, I have a child who nearly died
from an eating disorder. She has a tattoo to commemorate
the recovery. I gave her permission to get it done
before she even turned eighteen.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh really, what is the tattoo?
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Does not say?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Man, but regardless of what it is, obviously no.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But don't you want another nose? Oh yeah, no, the
of your course of course, of course, I want to
know what it is.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
But that's more. That's more like the firework case. Yeah, yeah,
very much so than it is jail and divorce.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Line four. Hi, elliot in the morning?
Speaker 9 (14:40):
Hey is this me?
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:41):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Who's this? Hi?
Speaker 8 (14:43):
This is Forney.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
How are you good? What can I do for you?
Speaker 9 (14:47):
I'm telling because it's a little different of a situation,
but kind of similar. My husband and I adopted our
oldest son and when he was born, his birth mother
tattooed his initials on her forearm, and she she said
it it was like a way to remember him, and
it's a piece of her story. And her parents were
very uncomfortable with that. They said that they thought it
(15:08):
was just going to be too painful of a reminder
for everybody, you know. It kind of it broke their
hearts that she had to place him for adoption, and
they asked, you know, our opinion, and we were like, well,
I mean, I see the parents side of it, but
I also I also told the morth mom side of it,
because you know, she did forth him and it is
the big piece of her story.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
So yeah, but didn't you rename it?
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Can?
Speaker 9 (15:31):
No, we chose it. So we actually met her before
our son was born, and she allowed us to choose
his name. So we picked out the name.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh so like you went with like I'm making up
initials KD and she got KD on her arm.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Oh, because I was like she could walk around.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
With like z C and be like, who's ever?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I don't even know that kid?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, the cloned dog. Interesting one.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, but
that's unheard. Like do you have any relationship with her now?
Not really.
Speaker 9 (16:03):
We when we went into it, it was you know,
an open adoption, and we kind of told her, hey,
you know, we'll share pictures, we're friends on social media.
We would happily set up like visitation, like we would
never leave him alone. We were happy to meet up
and have dinner whatever. And we did that a few
times very early on. But she kind of moved on
(16:25):
with her life and had some big changes, and so
we haven't really spoken for probably the last ten years.
And it's you know, there's no animosity, but it's but
she's definitely moved on with her life.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
With ours and excellent that all worked out, all right,
very good, very good. That's a good one.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I certainly didn't think of that greatest listeners in the world.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well, it really happened to her. These were just out
of my imagination.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Well, yeah, no, I was talking about the listeners.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I feel.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Really piss you Wait which one her story? No, that
didn't piss me off, not if you if you Usian
in her story.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Freaking hate it? Yes, I would hate it. Yes, yeah,
I would hate it. That would bother me.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
That would bother But you're it's not like it's your child,
it's so it actually is.
Speaker 9 (17:22):
No.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
No, No, I'm saying you can't tell the biological mother
what she can do to her body.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
No, but that's why, I mean, so we just learned
a valuable lesson, which is, don't give him the real name.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
He can pick some initials. It's going to be wrong.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
His name is Zachary Clark.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
You're really stuck on that z C.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Well, because I had gone with that. You see how
he went back and chose names for that. I told
you I'm smart today, and.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
You got to keep it up at those dinners the
first year.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, hey, Zachary, Zachary.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Baby's so dumb.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
He doesn't even listen. He's probably deaf from his birth mother. AnyWho, Hi,
Elliott the morning, Good morning with me? Yeah, Hi, who's thish? Hi?
This is Kim.
Speaker 7 (18:13):
I am calling as a parent who has a tattoo
that gives me PTSD and empowers me at the same time.
Related to the first question, Okay, so my son died
in a car accident and his last tattoo became my
first tattoo. And so how that parent talked about you know,
(18:35):
if her daughter gets it, it gives her PTSD, right,
I can totally relate to that. I know, you know,
it's sounded a little weird, like why would that happen
if it's on her daughter's body, But as a parent,
you know, reflecting back on that event. I mean the
PTSD of that day, an event you know, in this case,
the fireworks very much could could trigger PTSD.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Character sure, and I get that the same thing with yours.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
By the way, I will say this, I don't obviously
I don't know what the tattoo was, but I think
that's beautiful.
Speaker 7 (19:13):
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty badass.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
What can I can I ask what the tattoo is?
Speaker 7 (19:19):
Yeah, it's uh, he designed it. So he had fourteen tattoos,
so this was his last one, and he actually explained
it to me in detail. He designed it and it's
his music journey from fifth grade through fifth year in college.
And each note represents part of his journey.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
That's awesome. And so that was his last too. So
that so you got that as your first tattoo.
Speaker 7 (19:44):
Yeah, yeah, that was his last, like he explained to
me about a month before his car accident.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Right, but you know what, like that that is it?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But I get I get why you say, like you
see it and it like that's yeah, right, you know what,
Like I can't put myself in your shoes of of
of how painful that is. But every time you see it,
But it's not like if you didn't have that, and
I hate somebody else had mentioned it before. If you
didn't have that tattoo, it's not like you wouldn't be reminded.
(20:15):
I get that, But there is something really nice about that.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I really like that.
Speaker 7 (20:20):
Yeah, thank you, Yeah, I think I I just heard
Tyler saying like he couldn't understand how the parent on
the child's body, which cause the PTSD, and I definitely
did not say that.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I definitely did not say that.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
I got the Hey, listen, I appreciate it. Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you. I love that one. I love that one.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Every tattoo a child of mine got would be triggering.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
It doesn't matter what it is. I get that
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