January 22, 2026 • 24 mins
Where you see people's privates all the time.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Elliot the morning.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Go Hi yet, my name is Hillary?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (00:05):
Hillary, What is your profession or where you see people's
privates all the time?
Speaker 5 (00:12):
Hi? I was a retired correction officer and we saw
all sorts of stuff all day.
Speaker 6 (00:18):
Dude, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Yeah, because you've got to do strip searches and stuff, right, Yes, And.
Speaker 5 (00:24):
When you came around for count time, they always wanted
to show you they're junks.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hey, can I ask you this right off the bat?
How long?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
How long into the job until you're like, like, at first,
it's got to be shocking, right, not shocking, like, oh
my god, I've never seen a you know, a penis
that big or a vagina like that, but where it's
like you're like, I go to work every day and
all I do is see people's like privates.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
How long until that wears off?
Speaker 5 (00:57):
It never wears off? Every day you're thinking I probably
should become a male woman or something.
Speaker 6 (01:04):
Change change every day.
Speaker 5 (01:06):
Yes, But but the pay is good and you get
you know, you get plenty of good you know, uh
insurance and everything else. But yeah, they always want to
show you everything metal penits. They show you all the
junk all the time, it's really nasty.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
So they they ask people who did this?
Speaker 4 (01:26):
And I'd like for you to fill in your own
the most honest confession from people who regularly see other
people's genitals.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Is there anything that comes to mind? I have a list?
Is there anything that comes to mind?
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Where you were? Like when somebody says, what is it like,
I'm assuming as a corrections officer, you worked at a
female facility.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
I worked with mostly men. There's there's only one female
facility at the place where I work.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Oh yeah, it was a unk. What was your biggest takeaway?
Speaker 5 (02:07):
That the size of the junk is kind of usually small?
That yeah, uh, most most junk that I saw was
either uh yeah, undersized. That's that's my takeaway.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
All right, I'll take yes, Oh go ahead, you have
you had.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
An hand.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Well, and I most of them were fearful that their
mother would find out, so that would be okay.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Well, that has nothing to do with their genitals, That
has nothing to do with their Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
That pretty good answer for a profession.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Oh that's a great answer. Hi Elliott in the morning, Hey,
this is Ryan.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
How are y'all?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I am doing well? What can I do for you.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, so I no longer do this, But for seven
years I was a professional body piercer.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Fantastic.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Nobody thought of that now, nobody thought of that as
a profession.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
We're if you can picture it, I've put a needle
through it.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
So now let me ask you this, what is your
most honest confession As somebody who has seen genitalia regularly,
almost every day.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I would say, especially up in like the DC area,
a lot of the people you see wear in suits
would set off metal detectors.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Okay, so a lot more piercings than you believe.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Oh yeah, people up there they have more dollars than cents,
and if they have expendal income, they want to bling
up their wiener. And uh I had absolutely no problem
doing that.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Can I can I ask you this? Did you did
you pierce a lot of a lot of wang?
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
So here's what somebody said.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
I worked in the healthcare setting for about two years.
I saw on average ten sets of male genitals a day. Fine,
they are all very different. See if you agree with this,
they are all very different yet exactly the same normal.
This for men, genitals are a bit lopsided and discolored
(04:13):
or weirdly wrinkled, or have random skin tags.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah, that all sounds about right. I would say you're
gonna notice more variation in women's vulvas and breasts than
you would with men's penises.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
Now I'm glad that you said that, because somebody else
did say the people that you would think that would
have a large labia actually have small labia and vice versa.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
That is hard for me to picture. You know, if
I'm looking at somebody clothes and I have no idea
what kind of labia you're gonna have to I have. Unfortunately,
I also saw boobs that looked like Frida eggs hanging
on a nail, So you know, it's really very up.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I gotta get a shirt, all right, very shirt.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Very yeah, hold on, I'll give you one. Hold on
this shirt.
Speaker 7 (05:20):
Just remember you were beautiful, no matter what they say.
That's my shirt.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah all right, let me grab another one, Let me
grab another one. Hi only in the morning.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Hello, Hi, who's this? This is Jimmy. I am a traumoner.
Speaker 8 (05:39):
I'm also a gay man, so I've done a lot
of research about penises.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh well, there you go, Hey, is that is this? Well?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
First, of all, I don't want to hear about like
trauma up like genitalia.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Oh I got stories about that.
Speaker 8 (05:53):
But yeah, there are such a thing as I mean,
there are lots of any that I see where I
like pull back the bed sheets to put in a
foley and I'm like, where is it?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
So there's that many like little micro penises.
Speaker 8 (06:06):
No, they're not even like there's not even a nub.
It's like a glitterist would be bigger.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
They're just inside and.
Speaker 8 (06:16):
It's most and it's mostly because they have like a pupa,
you know, And it's like in the fact above, the
above where the penis would be. Wow, it's just and
you you have to push down and around where it
would be to make it come.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Out, throw pepper on it. When it sneezes, you grab it.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
Words can't bring you down.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Hey, So, other than the amazing amount of innies, do
you agree that most of them are lopsided, discolored, weirdly, wrinkly,
or have skin tags.
Speaker 8 (06:51):
No, I don't feel a lot of that. There is
always a one testicle to hang lower. Yeah, like that's everybody.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
It's no.
Speaker 8 (06:58):
But but I will tell you almost every motorcycle crash
ends up with trauma to the strodum and it blows
up and it's bruised, and yeah, I don't know what
it is about motorcycle crashes, but it's like every single one.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
This is from a certified nursing assistant. When I first started,
it was a little surprising to learn there's no rhyme
or reason to penis or labya size. The tallest, biggest
guy can have a micro penis, and a tiny short
guy can have it halfway down his thigh. Skinny women
can have huge labia. All this to say is that
(07:38):
you never really know what's going on inside someone's pants.
Speaker 8 (07:43):
That's true, And as a gay man, I will say
there's a phenomenon of skinny guy, big penis.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Skinny guy big penis.
Speaker 8 (07:52):
Always Then I'm not sure if it's an optical illusion
or if it's just it's really true, but I feel
like every skinny guy has a giant you know, winn
a wreck.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Well yeah, no, don't no, doing all right, very good,
very good. I appreciate it, Thank you, sir, Thank you.
Skin is back.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Oh, I gotta get to this one where am I
going Kristen Line two, Hi.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Elliott in the Morning, hey, h yes, hi, who is this?
Speaker 9 (08:24):
My name is Sada.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Profession labor and delivery nurse.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Oh yeah, you see a lot, boy, you see a lot.
Most honest confession.
Speaker 9 (08:37):
I don't necessarily agree with the the labia comment because
the bigger the lady, the bigger the ladya and my
professional opinion.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
No kidding really Oh yeah.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
Also, I guess my biggest takeaway was after seeing everyone
else is just mindself so bad?
Speaker 4 (08:58):
You know. By the way, the other thing they said
is that once you see so many.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
That well number one.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
The that that what there was somebody who said it,
who said it great where they were like everyone is
so different yet all the same.
Speaker 10 (09:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Yeah, so that even though you may think like uh
oh oh you're a woman, though you're a woman, no,
like labor and delivery, you're seeing women.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
There was somebody I need somebody who sees penis.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
You need somebody who says penis, Hey, do you see do.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
You see a lot of butthole?
Speaker 9 (09:36):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (09:37):
Okay, yes, I never thought that we were going around that.
Speaker 7 (09:43):
Oh yeah yeah, well labor is delivery. It was just
no I'm picturing when you asked for these professions. I
was just all full frontal.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
The no, no, no, hey, let me ask you this
about butthole.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
You're ready?
Speaker 6 (09:52):
Oh yeah, what's so aggressive?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
What do you want me to call it? Anus?
Speaker 8 (09:57):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (09:58):
Yeah, no?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
What am I doctor? I'm going to read a quote.
I'm going to read a quote and you tell me
yes or no.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Okay, if you've ever thought your butthole looks normal, it
probably does not. I have not seen a single one
that looks like another. Most are cleaner than you think.
Hemorrhoids are extremely common. Skin tags are excuse skin tell
(10:30):
skin excuse me.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Skin tags are extremely common.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Most buttholes do not like look like some perfectly flat button.
They each have their own personality.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
Oh I'm the funny one. Is that true?
Speaker 11 (10:49):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (10:49):
Yeah, yeah, I would say.
Speaker 6 (10:52):
Yes, which part the skin tag part?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Skin tag nation?
Speaker 9 (10:57):
I see relatively young butthole. Okay, yep, it's like nothing
over forty really, I mean sometimes over forty Yeah, right now.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
But I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 9 (11:06):
Sure, so not a lot of skin texts, but as
far as like Hemorrhoy's comment, yeah, not a perfect button. Yeah,
and then if you have a baby coming down, it's
definitely looking weird. So yeah, they have.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Their own personality. Do you have their own set of
lumps and bumps?
Speaker 6 (11:28):
I'm shy. What was that children book series? And people like, oh,
hop on pop?
Speaker 9 (11:36):
Oh, they are probably cleaner than people assume. I would say.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Now they did say, which is a good thing. Yes, however,
another another person. Here we go.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
I try not to judge people, but when clients are
offered a pre appointment wipe and they don't use it,
I judge them absolutely.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
Yeah, what what clubent is this?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Like?
Speaker 6 (12:05):
What what are we at for this?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
What do you mean?
Speaker 7 (12:07):
I have never heard of that? What for a a
pre appointment wipe?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Like, is that is that big?
Speaker 11 (12:16):
In?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
And I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
I don't know where it would be because they talk
about it doesn't sound like it's for here.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
They sound like it's for the around the back, because
they were.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Like you you either you turned down a wipe, but
you've got literal s all on your butthole?
Speaker 6 (12:31):
What what are we about to do? Dian? Have you
been offered that before? No, Kristen, you've.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Never been offered a pre appointment Well, I don't know
what that would be for.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
I don't know except for like the dermatologist.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Oh that could be Oh, that's another good one that
we didn't think of. Medical medical though medical. Hey, thank you, doc,
appreciate it.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
One we didn't think of, and it was there might
have been Instagram, so no names, but it was my
boyfriend is a boudoir photographer. Oh and then this was
also from Instagram.
Speaker 6 (13:05):
It says, oh, no, did you what happened to it?
Where is it?
Speaker 4 (13:10):
No?
Speaker 7 (13:10):
Prison guards do see a lot of naked people. I've
been one of those naked people.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Line three, Hi, elliot in the morning. Wait, hold on,
are you thinking of that? Every blank tells a story.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
That's Kathy Legaff.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Oh that's right, that's right, because in this one, every
every butthole is completely every butthole tells a story.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I'm sorry, who is this is this? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Who's this?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Hi? My name's Caitlin. I am a rtisan nurse in
an emergency room, so I take care of like babies
up until like a hundred and vijillions.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Oh, so you get old people, whether it's whether it's scrotum, penis,
or butthole.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Do you see a lot of skin tags there?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
So? Oddly enough, I don't see a lot of skin tags.
But my ex husband had stink skin tags on his
leaner and they he had to get them taken He
got them taken off because they weirded me out.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
I'm sorry, he's wearded her out.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
That's what that's literally. They they had to go because
you were like, I can't look at that.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Thank you. Oh god, damn it. That was great, but
it had to be dumb.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Yes, unfortunately, unfortunately leaving you knew that one.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah, yeah, Hi Elliott in the morning. Hi, who's this?
This is Kim Hi Kim profession.
Speaker 11 (14:54):
Well, I was a laser technician, laser here removal technician.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Uh yes, uh honest confession, mm hmm. Go ahead.
Speaker 11 (15:06):
Well, so I saw a lot of naked naked people ladies,
mainly because I was doing Brazilian bikini uh leader her removal.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Yeah, like a girl jen from the pit formerly with
no hair on her buttholes letting her out.
Speaker 11 (15:21):
Yes, there's the chicker. We're doing the butthole. It's hysterical.
But you have to put like uh wet like gaus
well because it's a person parts and then you can
actually like cause a fire in the gas. So it
(15:44):
was highly recommended that we don't actually do like right
around the butthole. We could do everything else but that,
And also the hair is there actually to protect the
you know, the anal areas.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Right right right.
Speaker 11 (15:58):
I highly recommend to do that. But this is funny.
I had a customer, a Russian lady, and she was
having literally her whole body from her face to her
toes on and you can only do a little bit
at a time when there's a session because it's pretty painful.
So she would come in to have like her lower
(16:20):
legs from k me down on. And every time she
came in, or even if it was her face, she
would get completely naked, like we aren't we working on
like your legs today your face?
Speaker 4 (16:36):
And she's like.
Speaker 11 (16:37):
Yeah, And I'm like, well you need to take off
your all your clothes and she's like no, I just
want to be comfortable.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
You know, hey, let me ask you this.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Did you ever laser any men's genitals?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
No?
Speaker 11 (16:50):
I didn't, but I also did electrolysis. And my boss
of one of the places I work, she actually did electrolitis.
And that's putting a needle in it every follicool, right.
She had a couple of penises that she worked on
and she had some stories on that.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
One has anybody, thank you, thank you doctor.
Speaker 6 (17:13):
Has anybody what heard of this? Or have this skin tags?
Speaker 4 (17:20):
So this this person worked in worked in a in
a in a in a hospital.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Nothing surprises me.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Most of my colleagues and I we focus more on
the hair than the actual genitals. We did have one
who had a tuft of hair on the underside of
his shaft, near the tip of his penis.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
We called it his downstairs soul patch. O.
Speaker 6 (17:50):
Soul patches are bad enough, and you've made him worse.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Has anybody serious a tuft of hair right by the tip?
Speaker 7 (18:03):
Get that other lady back? Does she want the skin
tags or that?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
No? You know what I mean? Like yes, down around
by the base.
Speaker 6 (18:10):
Right, yeah, the other end sounds of.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Even every so often you'll be shaving and go like,
oh that one kind of climbed up a little bit,
but to get a tough I ain't dead yet, all
the way up near the tip.
Speaker 7 (18:26):
Yeah yeah, yeah, And I'm not saying yeah, like I
know what you're talking about.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
I'm listening.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Have you ever even heard of that?
Speaker 7 (18:32):
No?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I have not.
Speaker 6 (18:33):
I've never seen it, never heard of it.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
That's the other. How have I never seen that?
Speaker 4 (18:37):
How has that never come up and somebody sends and
goes here and check this out.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
Guess what I got?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, it was his his downstairs soul patch.
Speaker 7 (18:47):
By the way, I thought of the Personality book series.
I was trying to compare it to Oh yes, remember
those Little Miss and Mister books. Oh yeah, little mis curious, Yeah,
little Miss Giggles, mister small, oh, mister greedy, mister skintag,
(19:07):
mister buthole, mister nervous.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I need somebody who works with you know what? You know?
What can I try? Line four? They may have the
answer here, Hi, elliot in the morning. Well, yeah, hi, who's.
Speaker 9 (19:27):
This Hey y'all?
Speaker 12 (19:29):
My name is Sarah.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Yes, And what can I do for? What's your profession? Oh?
Speaker 12 (19:35):
I don't do it anymore, but I was a CNA
for about sixty years.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I don't know what a CNA is.
Speaker 6 (19:41):
Certified nursing assistant.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Oh, a certified nursing assistant. Okay, yes, Oh so you've
seen it all.
Speaker 12 (19:49):
Yeah, I've seen all of it. And then I'll switched
over to pediatrics afterwards. So I've kind of seen ranges
from zero to like ninety eight.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
You've seen every age of whole in genital any confession
that you would like to share.
Speaker 12 (20:08):
I don't really consider it a confession, But after a while,
when you're getting beat up by an elderly person who
is completely naked, you just kind of think to yourself,
this is my life?
Speaker 6 (20:20):
Yeah, what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
What? Where would I be? You might know the answer
to this. Where would I be?
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Where I would be using Well, let's define something where Oh,
never mind, where would I be if I if I
was looking to use ultrasound gel on a scrotum, that's
what I've had, Oh.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
For your for your cyst?
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Yeah, oh okay, thank you, I'll go in house.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
I'm gonna say they've done that to me.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
One doctor said, you'd be surprised at the amount of
ultrasound gel that can disappear into an unshaven scrotum's hurls
like even the patients sometimes are like more goo?
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Where did all go? Does pubic hair eat gel?
Speaker 7 (21:14):
Tell me? That wasn't written by a young blonde woman
in the German Town area.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I didn't even know I love these.
Speaker 7 (21:25):
I was going to be getting that that day, so
I was not fully prepared prepared, But I don't think
the gel disappeared. I definitely was aware of it pulling
my pants back on. I was handed a post appointment wipe,
I'll tell you that, and it didn't clean it up enough.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Mammogram Tech nipple length in.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Aerial Oh and then well, let me get to the
end of this. Mammogram Tech nipple length and ariola with
color very widely. Nipples can be very long. Also, those
little white head looking bumps on your areolas are not acne.
(22:09):
They are oil glands that lubricate and keep that delicate
skin soft.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Stop popping them.
Speaker 6 (22:16):
Oh god, I remember we talked about these Montgomery glands.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, But are people trying to pop them
thinking it's a zig I didn't think, And it's just
it's got a lot of oil in it.
Speaker 7 (22:29):
Listen, I'm sure you've popped something before on your body
that you you thought was just.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
And we have to like take string and get that off.
Speaker 7 (22:42):
No, but you could see somebody, especially if they're younger,
who just doesn't know. We talk about how sex ed
is disappearing from schools.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It's sex head, Diane.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
When you were coming up, and I mean, with what
you had going on, you were a good example. Did
anybody in sex said ever say Hey, young lady. So
this is the rams head. This is what this does.
This is you know whatever. When we talk about the breasts,
these little bumps on your areola, those are oil glands.
(23:13):
Don't pop them. Never brought up, No, I would bet
that that hasn't been like less taught.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I would bet that was never taught.
Speaker 7 (23:22):
So you're even worse off if it's not available to
you as knowledge anywhere.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Well now it seems like more people should be popping them.
Speaker 6 (23:31):
No, no, no's we've talked.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Because just because of not knowing no no, of course,
of course, I'm just saying just because of not knowing Hi.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Ellie in the morning.
Speaker 9 (23:43):
Hi is this name?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Who's this Hi?
Speaker 10 (23:47):
This is Amanda Tyson's Corner Professionals. Oh so I'm not
calling because I'm a professional, but just in regard to
the soul patch, you guys should look up skinny pig
a hairless guinea pig, because they have a patch on
the top of their nose and it is.
Speaker 9 (24:03):
Exactly like that.
Speaker 10 (24:07):
I'm trying to send a picture, but my service is
a little rough.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
The oh oh yeah, y'all have a good one, all right, talk.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
To you later.
Speaker 9 (24:19):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Ma'am, thank you. I have that on the tip by
Peep
Hi, Elliot the morning.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Go Hi yet, my name is Hillary?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (00:05):
Hillary, What is your profession or where you see people's
privates all the time?
Speaker 5 (00:12):
Hi? I was a retired correction officer and we saw
all sorts of stuff all day.
Speaker 6 (00:18):
Dude, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Yeah, because you've got to do strip searches and stuff, right, Yes, And.
Speaker 5 (00:24):
When you came around for count time, they always wanted
to show you they're junks.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hey, can I ask you this right off the bat?
How long?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
How long into the job until you're like, like, at first,
it's got to be shocking, right, not shocking, like, oh
my god, I've never seen a you know, a penis
that big or a vagina like that, but where it's
like you're like, I go to work every day and
all I do is see people's like privates.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
How long until that wears off?
Speaker 5 (00:57):
It never wears off? Every day you're thinking I probably
should become a male woman or something.
Speaker 6 (01:04):
Change change every day.
Speaker 5 (01:06):
Yes, But but the pay is good and you get
you know, you get plenty of good you know, uh
insurance and everything else. But yeah, they always want to
show you everything metal penits. They show you all the
junk all the time, it's really nasty.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
So they they ask people who did this?
Speaker 4 (01:26):
And I'd like for you to fill in your own
the most honest confession from people who regularly see other
people's genitals.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Is there anything that comes to mind? I have a list?
Is there anything that comes to mind?
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Where you were? Like when somebody says, what is it like,
I'm assuming as a corrections officer, you worked at a
female facility.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
I worked with mostly men. There's there's only one female
facility at the place where I work.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Oh yeah, it was a unk. What was your biggest takeaway?
Speaker 5 (02:07):
That the size of the junk is kind of usually small?
That yeah, uh, most most junk that I saw was
either uh yeah, undersized. That's that's my takeaway.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
All right, I'll take yes, Oh go ahead, you have
you had.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
An hand.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Well, and I most of them were fearful that their
mother would find out, so that would be okay.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Well, that has nothing to do with their genitals, That
has nothing to do with their Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
That pretty good answer for a profession.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Oh that's a great answer. Hi Elliott in the morning, Hey,
this is Ryan.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
How are y'all?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I am doing well? What can I do for you.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, so I no longer do this, But for seven
years I was a professional body piercer.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Fantastic.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Nobody thought of that now, nobody thought of that as
a profession.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
We're if you can picture it, I've put a needle
through it.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
So now let me ask you this, what is your
most honest confession As somebody who has seen genitalia regularly,
almost every day.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I would say, especially up in like the DC area,
a lot of the people you see wear in suits
would set off metal detectors.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Okay, so a lot more piercings than you believe.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Oh yeah, people up there they have more dollars than cents,
and if they have expendal income, they want to bling
up their wiener. And uh I had absolutely no problem
doing that.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Can I can I ask you this? Did you did
you pierce a lot of a lot of wang?
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
So here's what somebody said.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
I worked in the healthcare setting for about two years.
I saw on average ten sets of male genitals a day. Fine,
they are all very different. See if you agree with this,
they are all very different yet exactly the same normal.
This for men, genitals are a bit lopsided and discolored
(04:13):
or weirdly wrinkled, or have random skin tags.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah, that all sounds about right. I would say you're
gonna notice more variation in women's vulvas and breasts than
you would with men's penises.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
Now I'm glad that you said that, because somebody else
did say the people that you would think that would
have a large labia actually have small labia and vice versa.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
That is hard for me to picture. You know, if
I'm looking at somebody clothes and I have no idea
what kind of labia you're gonna have to I have. Unfortunately,
I also saw boobs that looked like Frida eggs hanging
on a nail, So you know, it's really very up.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I gotta get a shirt, all right, very shirt.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Very yeah, hold on, I'll give you one. Hold on
this shirt.
Speaker 7 (05:20):
Just remember you were beautiful, no matter what they say.
That's my shirt.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah all right, let me grab another one, Let me
grab another one. Hi only in the morning.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Hello, Hi, who's this? This is Jimmy. I am a traumoner.
Speaker 8 (05:39):
I'm also a gay man, so I've done a lot
of research about penises.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh well, there you go, Hey, is that is this? Well?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
First, of all, I don't want to hear about like
trauma up like genitalia.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Oh I got stories about that.
Speaker 8 (05:53):
But yeah, there are such a thing as I mean,
there are lots of any that I see where I
like pull back the bed sheets to put in a
foley and I'm like, where is it?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
So there's that many like little micro penises.
Speaker 8 (06:06):
No, they're not even like there's not even a nub.
It's like a glitterist would be bigger.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
They're just inside and.
Speaker 8 (06:16):
It's most and it's mostly because they have like a pupa,
you know, And it's like in the fact above, the
above where the penis would be. Wow, it's just and
you you have to push down and around where it
would be to make it come.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Out, throw pepper on it. When it sneezes, you grab it.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
Words can't bring you down.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Hey, So, other than the amazing amount of innies, do
you agree that most of them are lopsided, discolored, weirdly, wrinkly,
or have skin tags.
Speaker 8 (06:51):
No, I don't feel a lot of that. There is
always a one testicle to hang lower. Yeah, like that's everybody.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
It's no.
Speaker 8 (06:58):
But but I will tell you almost every motorcycle crash
ends up with trauma to the strodum and it blows
up and it's bruised, and yeah, I don't know what
it is about motorcycle crashes, but it's like every single one.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
This is from a certified nursing assistant. When I first started,
it was a little surprising to learn there's no rhyme
or reason to penis or labya size. The tallest, biggest
guy can have a micro penis, and a tiny short
guy can have it halfway down his thigh. Skinny women
can have huge labia. All this to say is that
(07:38):
you never really know what's going on inside someone's pants.
Speaker 8 (07:43):
That's true, And as a gay man, I will say
there's a phenomenon of skinny guy, big penis.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Skinny guy big penis.
Speaker 8 (07:52):
Always Then I'm not sure if it's an optical illusion
or if it's just it's really true, but I feel
like every skinny guy has a giant you know, winn
a wreck.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Well yeah, no, don't no, doing all right, very good,
very good. I appreciate it, Thank you, sir, Thank you.
Skin is back.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Oh, I gotta get to this one where am I
going Kristen Line two, Hi.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Elliott in the Morning, hey, h yes, hi, who is this?
Speaker 9 (08:24):
My name is Sada.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Profession labor and delivery nurse.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Oh yeah, you see a lot, boy, you see a lot.
Most honest confession.
Speaker 9 (08:37):
I don't necessarily agree with the the labia comment because
the bigger the lady, the bigger the ladya and my
professional opinion.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
No kidding really Oh yeah.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
Also, I guess my biggest takeaway was after seeing everyone
else is just mindself so bad?
Speaker 4 (08:58):
You know. By the way, the other thing they said
is that once you see so many.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
That well number one.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
The that that what there was somebody who said it,
who said it great where they were like everyone is
so different yet all the same.
Speaker 10 (09:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Yeah, so that even though you may think like uh
oh oh you're a woman, though you're a woman, no,
like labor and delivery, you're seeing women.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
There was somebody I need somebody who sees penis.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
You need somebody who says penis, Hey, do you see do.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
You see a lot of butthole?
Speaker 9 (09:36):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (09:37):
Okay, yes, I never thought that we were going around that.
Speaker 7 (09:43):
Oh yeah yeah, well labor is delivery. It was just
no I'm picturing when you asked for these professions. I
was just all full frontal.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
The no, no, no, hey, let me ask you this
about butthole.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
You're ready?
Speaker 6 (09:52):
Oh yeah, what's so aggressive?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
What do you want me to call it? Anus?
Speaker 8 (09:57):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (09:58):
Yeah, no?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
What am I doctor? I'm going to read a quote.
I'm going to read a quote and you tell me
yes or no.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Okay, if you've ever thought your butthole looks normal, it
probably does not. I have not seen a single one
that looks like another. Most are cleaner than you think.
Hemorrhoids are extremely common. Skin tags are excuse skin tell
(10:30):
skin excuse me.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Skin tags are extremely common.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Most buttholes do not like look like some perfectly flat button.
They each have their own personality.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
Oh I'm the funny one. Is that true?
Speaker 11 (10:49):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (10:49):
Yeah, yeah, I would say.
Speaker 6 (10:52):
Yes, which part the skin tag part?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Skin tag nation?
Speaker 9 (10:57):
I see relatively young butthole. Okay, yep, it's like nothing
over forty really, I mean sometimes over forty Yeah, right now.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
But I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 9 (11:06):
Sure, so not a lot of skin texts, but as
far as like Hemorrhoy's comment, yeah, not a perfect button. Yeah,
and then if you have a baby coming down, it's
definitely looking weird. So yeah, they have.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Their own personality. Do you have their own set of
lumps and bumps?
Speaker 6 (11:28):
I'm shy. What was that children book series? And people like, oh,
hop on pop?
Speaker 9 (11:36):
Oh, they are probably cleaner than people assume. I would say.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Now they did say, which is a good thing. Yes, however,
another another person. Here we go.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
I try not to judge people, but when clients are
offered a pre appointment wipe and they don't use it,
I judge them absolutely.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
Yeah, what what clubent is this?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Like?
Speaker 6 (12:05):
What what are we at for this?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
What do you mean?
Speaker 7 (12:07):
I have never heard of that? What for a a
pre appointment wipe?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Like, is that is that big?
Speaker 11 (12:16):
In?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
And I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
I don't know where it would be because they talk
about it doesn't sound like it's for here.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
They sound like it's for the around the back, because
they were.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Like you you either you turned down a wipe, but
you've got literal s all on your butthole?
Speaker 6 (12:31):
What what are we about to do? Dian? Have you
been offered that before? No, Kristen, you've.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Never been offered a pre appointment Well, I don't know
what that would be for.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
I don't know except for like the dermatologist.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Oh that could be Oh, that's another good one that
we didn't think of. Medical medical though medical. Hey, thank you, doc,
appreciate it.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
One we didn't think of, and it was there might
have been Instagram, so no names, but it was my
boyfriend is a boudoir photographer. Oh and then this was
also from Instagram.
Speaker 6 (13:05):
It says, oh, no, did you what happened to it?
Where is it?
Speaker 4 (13:10):
No?
Speaker 7 (13:10):
Prison guards do see a lot of naked people. I've
been one of those naked people.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Line three, Hi, elliot in the morning. Wait, hold on,
are you thinking of that? Every blank tells a story.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
That's Kathy Legaff.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Oh that's right, that's right, because in this one, every
every butthole is completely every butthole tells a story.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I'm sorry, who is this is this? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Who's this?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Hi? My name's Caitlin. I am a rtisan nurse in
an emergency room, so I take care of like babies
up until like a hundred and vijillions.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Oh, so you get old people, whether it's whether it's scrotum, penis,
or butthole.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Do you see a lot of skin tags there?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
So? Oddly enough, I don't see a lot of skin tags.
But my ex husband had stink skin tags on his
leaner and they he had to get them taken He
got them taken off because they weirded me out.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
I'm sorry, he's wearded her out.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
That's what that's literally. They they had to go because
you were like, I can't look at that.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Thank you. Oh god, damn it. That was great, but
it had to be dumb.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Yes, unfortunately, unfortunately leaving you knew that one.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah, yeah, Hi Elliott in the morning. Hi, who's this?
This is Kim Hi Kim profession.
Speaker 11 (14:54):
Well, I was a laser technician, laser here removal technician.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Uh yes, uh honest confession, mm hmm. Go ahead.
Speaker 11 (15:06):
Well, so I saw a lot of naked naked people ladies,
mainly because I was doing Brazilian bikini uh leader her removal.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Yeah, like a girl jen from the pit formerly with
no hair on her buttholes letting her out.
Speaker 11 (15:21):
Yes, there's the chicker. We're doing the butthole. It's hysterical.
But you have to put like uh wet like gaus
well because it's a person parts and then you can
actually like cause a fire in the gas. So it
(15:44):
was highly recommended that we don't actually do like right
around the butthole. We could do everything else but that,
And also the hair is there actually to protect the
you know, the anal areas.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Right right right.
Speaker 11 (15:58):
I highly recommend to do that. But this is funny.
I had a customer, a Russian lady, and she was
having literally her whole body from her face to her
toes on and you can only do a little bit
at a time when there's a session because it's pretty painful.
So she would come in to have like her lower
(16:20):
legs from k me down on. And every time she
came in, or even if it was her face, she
would get completely naked, like we aren't we working on
like your legs today your face?
Speaker 4 (16:36):
And she's like.
Speaker 11 (16:37):
Yeah, And I'm like, well you need to take off
your all your clothes and she's like no, I just
want to be comfortable.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
You know, hey, let me ask you this.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Did you ever laser any men's genitals?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
No?
Speaker 11 (16:50):
I didn't, but I also did electrolysis. And my boss
of one of the places I work, she actually did electrolitis.
And that's putting a needle in it every follicool, right.
She had a couple of penises that she worked on
and she had some stories on that.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
One has anybody, thank you, thank you doctor.
Speaker 6 (17:13):
Has anybody what heard of this? Or have this skin tags?
Speaker 4 (17:20):
So this this person worked in worked in a in
a in a in a hospital.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Nothing surprises me.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Most of my colleagues and I we focus more on
the hair than the actual genitals. We did have one
who had a tuft of hair on the underside of
his shaft, near the tip of his penis.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
We called it his downstairs soul patch. O.
Speaker 6 (17:50):
Soul patches are bad enough, and you've made him worse.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Has anybody serious a tuft of hair right by the tip?
Speaker 7 (18:03):
Get that other lady back? Does she want the skin
tags or that?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
No? You know what I mean? Like yes, down around
by the base.
Speaker 6 (18:10):
Right, yeah, the other end sounds of.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Even every so often you'll be shaving and go like,
oh that one kind of climbed up a little bit,
but to get a tough I ain't dead yet, all
the way up near the tip.
Speaker 7 (18:26):
Yeah yeah, yeah, And I'm not saying yeah, like I
know what you're talking about.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
I'm listening.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Have you ever even heard of that?
Speaker 7 (18:32):
No?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I have not.
Speaker 6 (18:33):
I've never seen it, never heard of it.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
That's the other. How have I never seen that?
Speaker 4 (18:37):
How has that never come up and somebody sends and
goes here and check this out.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
Guess what I got?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, it was his his downstairs soul patch.
Speaker 7 (18:47):
By the way, I thought of the Personality book series.
I was trying to compare it to Oh yes, remember
those Little Miss and Mister books. Oh yeah, little mis curious, Yeah,
little Miss Giggles, mister small, oh, mister greedy, mister skintag,
(19:07):
mister buthole, mister nervous.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I need somebody who works with you know what? You know?
What can I try? Line four? They may have the
answer here, Hi, elliot in the morning. Well, yeah, hi, who's.
Speaker 9 (19:27):
This Hey y'all?
Speaker 12 (19:29):
My name is Sarah.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Yes, And what can I do for? What's your profession? Oh?
Speaker 12 (19:35):
I don't do it anymore, but I was a CNA
for about sixty years.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I don't know what a CNA is.
Speaker 6 (19:41):
Certified nursing assistant.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Oh, a certified nursing assistant. Okay, yes, Oh so you've
seen it all.
Speaker 12 (19:49):
Yeah, I've seen all of it. And then I'll switched
over to pediatrics afterwards. So I've kind of seen ranges
from zero to like ninety eight.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
You've seen every age of whole in genital any confession
that you would like to share.
Speaker 12 (20:08):
I don't really consider it a confession, But after a while,
when you're getting beat up by an elderly person who
is completely naked, you just kind of think to yourself,
this is my life?
Speaker 6 (20:20):
Yeah, what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
What? Where would I be? You might know the answer
to this. Where would I be?
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Where I would be using Well, let's define something where Oh,
never mind, where would I be if I if I
was looking to use ultrasound gel on a scrotum, that's
what I've had, Oh.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
For your for your cyst?
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Yeah, oh okay, thank you, I'll go in house.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
I'm gonna say they've done that to me.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
One doctor said, you'd be surprised at the amount of
ultrasound gel that can disappear into an unshaven scrotum's hurls
like even the patients sometimes are like more goo?
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Where did all go? Does pubic hair eat gel?
Speaker 7 (21:14):
Tell me? That wasn't written by a young blonde woman
in the German Town area.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I didn't even know I love these.
Speaker 7 (21:25):
I was going to be getting that that day, so
I was not fully prepared prepared, But I don't think
the gel disappeared. I definitely was aware of it pulling
my pants back on. I was handed a post appointment wipe,
I'll tell you that, and it didn't clean it up enough.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Mammogram Tech nipple length in.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Aerial Oh and then well, let me get to the
end of this. Mammogram Tech nipple length and ariola with
color very widely. Nipples can be very long. Also, those
little white head looking bumps on your areolas are not acne.
(22:09):
They are oil glands that lubricate and keep that delicate
skin soft.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Stop popping them.
Speaker 6 (22:16):
Oh god, I remember we talked about these Montgomery glands.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, But are people trying to pop them
thinking it's a zig I didn't think, And it's just
it's got a lot of oil in it.
Speaker 7 (22:29):
Listen, I'm sure you've popped something before on your body
that you you thought was just.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
And we have to like take string and get that off.
Speaker 7 (22:42):
No, but you could see somebody, especially if they're younger,
who just doesn't know. We talk about how sex ed
is disappearing from schools.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It's sex head, Diane.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
When you were coming up, and I mean, with what
you had going on, you were a good example. Did
anybody in sex said ever say Hey, young lady. So
this is the rams head. This is what this does.
This is you know whatever. When we talk about the breasts,
these little bumps on your areola, those are oil glands.
(23:13):
Don't pop them. Never brought up, No, I would bet
that that hasn't been like less taught.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I would bet that was never taught.
Speaker 7 (23:22):
So you're even worse off if it's not available to
you as knowledge anywhere.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Well now it seems like more people should be popping them.
Speaker 6 (23:31):
No, no, no's we've talked.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Because just because of not knowing no no, of course,
of course, I'm just saying just because of not knowing Hi.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Ellie in the morning.
Speaker 9 (23:43):
Hi is this name?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Who's this Hi?
Speaker 10 (23:47):
This is Amanda Tyson's Corner Professionals. Oh so I'm not
calling because I'm a professional, but just in regard to
the soul patch, you guys should look up skinny pig
a hairless guinea pig, because they have a patch on
the top of their nose and it is.
Speaker 9 (24:03):
Exactly like that.
Speaker 10 (24:07):
I'm trying to send a picture, but my service is
a little rough.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
The oh oh yeah, y'all have a good one, all right, talk.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
To you later.
Speaker 9 (24:19):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Ma'am, thank you. I have that on the tip by
Peep
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