June 9, 2026 ⢠33 mins
The unregulated donor market.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Let's say there's a couple that wants to have a child, right,
and they can't for whatever reason. It doesn't matter like
you think of like like like a what do they
call it, a like fertility treatments, right, or they would
go to a sperm bank and get sperm. But apparently,
(00:22):
like if you just if you just open up Facebook,
there's all kinds of like forums for people who want unregulated.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Sperm, so they don't. So there's not the cost of
going through like a clinic or either.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
There's not the cost there's not which can be very expensive.
Access is real limited. I don't know other reasons that
you wouldn't want to go through a like a regulated.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Sperm sperm combinations process. Maybe it is, Maybe it is.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
But they said if you just go on like literally
go on Facebook. There are so many forms of people
who are just selling their sperm to people who want it.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
So these aren't groups that are commiserating about infertility and issues. No,
and people are infiltrating with their sperm. These are groups
with sperm as the sort of attractant.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah, I want sperm, I have sperm to give.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
Wait, no, but who is there first?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
That's what I'm asking is it people who are going
to these places who would like unregulated sperm or and
and they happen to be I can't even say who
want unregulated sperm who are just discussing in these forums
the desire to get pregnant and then you have these
(01:59):
kind of maybe unsolicited offers or are these forums set
up as the place you go to get sperm?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I think it's the latter. I think it's I don't
think it's a store. If you will, I don't. Obviously
it's not brick and mortar. It's Facebook. The but by
the way, they said, there's like tender for sperm, like
there's all kinds of stuff. Really the yeah, everybody wants
unregulated sperm the but no, it's like, so imagine make
(02:31):
believe a brick and mortar. It's not a brick and
mortar that's set up for people to come and commiserate
about fertility issues and in discussions and support, and then
Elliott walks in.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
It's like, I got so much sperm.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It is a it's a it's a brick and mortar
setup for come meet here, for buyer and seller.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
That's what it sounds like. It's set up for isn't
that illegal?
Speaker 6 (02:56):
You would hope something like that is. I mean, we're
closely regulated, but it's unregulated.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yeah, it's unregulated.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Like for example, if if if if somebody called right
now was like, hey, we can't have a baby for
whatever reason. Maybe it's a lesbian couple, right, I'd be like,
I'll give you my sperm. Is that illegal?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
No, because we've heard of people using friends right.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, okay, so unregulated sperm isn't illegal.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
But if you are doing it via Facebook marketplace, right,
are you violating like terms of service?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Oh, I don't know, is it illegal? And that Facebook?
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Because we've certainly heard of couples who.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Yeah, just go ask a friend and then But do
those couples typically use like a middleman to make sure
everything is on the up and up or are they.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
What do you mean do it yourself?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Like is it is it through a a sperm bank
or a clinic just to make sure that that it's
it's stored properly and following all the rules like that.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
No, I was reading about one guy he got paid,
like not a lot of money, but he got paid
and it's cheaper because it's not gonna be as much
as like, if not, why wouldn't I just go to
a sperm bank.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Yeah, so he he at home.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Well, he was in contact with this couple, right, and
they wanted a baby, and he was like, I have sperm,
and they were like, we want it, and so he.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Said, all right, two options.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
They said, sometimes this sounds a little creepy, but I
get it. They said, sometimes the donor really pushes that
we should have sex and that's the best way to
give it to you.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
But it is okay. But you can see you don't have.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
To worry about shipping, you don't have to worry about spoilage.
It's just it's going to go from here to there.
It's not it's just sex. I'm giving you my sperm, right,
So there's They do say sometimes it's I don't want
to say pushy, but it'd be like, hey, you know what,
this would.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Be better not pushy predatory.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yeah, no, no, but it would be like, like, for example,
let's say like Haley's here, she's in the pit right now.
If she was like, we want to have a baby,
we're having some problems. Elliott, you seem like a great person.
I'd like your sperm.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Then I would either go Okay, we got to do
this one or two ways. We can either A I'll
go home and.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I'll what's the word I'm looking for, masturbate into some
kind of apparatus and then I get it to Haley.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
I know how to ship it.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I read all about that, and then and then or
why don't I just come over, I'll sex you and
that way you get the sperm. Right, you could see
where one might go, oh, well, that seems.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
A little bit better than having to worry about.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
The contamination and ship.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Contamination and shipping and you got to keep it the
right temperature.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So yeah, there's a lot of that. Also, is it
illegal for me to ship sperm in the mail?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
That also may all out of sounds like it, because
there are a lot of a lot of people, like
when I was reading about.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
It, they'll they'll get like.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
It's today is a real tomato centric show. But they'll
get like tomato puree, it almost freeze it and put
like their I don't know if you'd do it in
a baggy or like a jar or a cup or
whatever it is, but you put your sperm inside the
tomato puree that's really cold and frozen, and you ship
it that way.
Speaker 6 (06:27):
Hmm, why tomato puree or is.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
It illegal and like it throws the dogs? Yeah, yeah,
I don't know. I have no idea. No, I don't
think it's legal to send sperm through the mail.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
That I don't know. But here's my question.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
You know what, I have a bunch of self addressed
stamped envelopes at my house waiting for stickers.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
I understand the costs. So yes, that's that's easy to me.
That's very black and white at the cost. But I've
always thought that sperm bakes are set up and the
protocols that they go through for your benefit, whether it's
safety or the legality of guardianship and things that may
come up down the road.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
Right, So what is the cost aside?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Right?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Why do people want to avoid those safeguards? Are they
not the safeguards they're purported to be.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I don't know the answer to that part of it.
In terms of safeguards, Some people do.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
It for privacy, Okay, I understand that.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Like they don't want to be they don't want to
be on record, they don't want like all of that.
Some don't want the like. I don't know if this
is true in all cases. But some don't want the
donor knowing who they are. Okay, now, granted in this case,
you know who the donor is, Elliott Sperm and I
just sent you my sperm in the tomato sauce. So
(07:48):
but some of them, just some of them don't want
the whether it's the clinic, the donor the money, like
whatever it is, they just don't want middle man involved.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
It's more off the grid, off the record, Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
So they're for them when it's unregulated.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
The benefits outweigh what maybe they see as benefits with
the sperm bank, but they prefer.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Why don't we have regular sex?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Let me give you if we have heard we've had little.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Call about that where it's that's how they receive the
sperm donation.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Yeah, yeah, that does happen.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, but don't they mostly know those people.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
We've I think talked to people who've had like friends.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
I would do that. No, I would.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
I think in the past you've said that, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I would do that.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
If if if I had two friends that really wanted
a kid, and they were like, Elliott, we we love you,
we really think your sperm is the one we want.
But I gotta be honest, I need it the old
fashioned way. I'd be like, let's let's hit it.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Jackie'd be cool with That's also asked you that question
in the past as well.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably not. I mean we would have
to have a long conversation. Sure, we'd have to have
a long conversation about it, for sure.
Speaker 7 (09:15):
But they said, like there's Facebook groups that are forty
fifty sixty thousand people who are in these forums like
looking for and like some of the donors get.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Rated, like there's this one guy, No, there's this one guy,
what's his name, Joe donor? Okay, they say he gets
such high ratings. They think he's got one hundred and
eighty kids. They do say he's also one of those
that's like, hey, let.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Me give it to you the fresh way.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
So if you're worried about like the number of siblings,
this may not be the best pass.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, but you can't.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yes, you can be No, I mean you if you're
going through a bank of any kind, you're you run
that risk, you run that.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
You don't think it's going to be one hundred and
eighty No, But.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
But at a sperm bank, like are you you're only
allowed to give them your stuff once.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Uh no, because there's it'd be hard to track that
over all of the banks, probably unless there's a central database.
But when it comes to testing all the samples, it's
it almost sounds like it is consumer reports versus online reviews. Yes,
like the bank is consumer reports. These facea are just
(10:36):
Google reviews because you're not really unless the person's supposedly providing.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
You may get it fresh, get it fresh.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Medical testing, well, no, there is none. No, But do
some of these donors do that? Do they independently have
their stuff tested to provide Oh?
Speaker 3 (10:54):
I don't know the answer to that. I wouldn't even
know how to do that.
Speaker 5 (10:57):
You can test their sperm, right for what?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Like motility and all that? Just okay, pointing at it
doesn't do anything.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
But what does the bank test for?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I have no idea. I never donated.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
More like the health of the sperm?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Not okay, I guess motility is the health of the sperm,
but it isn't it More like.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
The like the chromosomes of the sperm.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Yeah, the general well being of perhaps the donor and
the that's why you got to get it fresh?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Oh my god, they said, sometimes the guys are pushy.
Speaker 6 (11:29):
Yes, you don't think that sounds weird?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
But again, do you want do you want day old
frozen bagels or do you want fresh bagels?
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
So they do test for infectious diseases and genetic conditions.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
Can I go out?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yes, you could go out and go, Hey, I get tested.
I don't have any STDs.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I'm look at me, I'm good. Get it fresh?
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Oh my god, look at me.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah, I don't have any genetic issues.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I'm sure. But whatever?
Speaker 5 (12:04):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (12:06):
Where is this sort of like what do I ship
it in? This says there is a male and sperm
testing kit.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Where am I going? Line wane?
Speaker 5 (12:16):
Do it for your poop?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
The you know what? That's true? Colo Guard, spermo guard.
Hi Elliott in the morning. Hi, Yeah, Hi? Who's this?
Speaker 8 (12:27):
This is jess h Yeah, Hi.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 8 (12:31):
So my wife and I actually are in the middle
of going through unregulated sperm donations at the moment.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Hey, do you want it fresh?
Speaker 9 (12:41):
No?
Speaker 8 (12:42):
We're gay for a reason.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Good answer. But this isn't romance. This is this is
so wait. So how are you? How are you? How
are you doing it? Are you online? Are you on Facebook?
Speaker 8 (12:57):
We are on Facebook? But like you had mentioned before
where there's also an app like tender for sperm or
egg donations, and we.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
What is the app for tender for sperm?
Speaker 8 (13:11):
It's called just a Baby?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Are you serious? For to god?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
And it's just a baby and it's you're just swiping yep.
Is that where you got your sperm?
Speaker 5 (13:24):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Oh my god? How did you know who to? How
did you know who to swipe on?
Speaker 8 (13:30):
So they have like just like Tender, they have pictures
of themselves, pictures and sometimes they even produce provide pictures
of like other successful children that they have helped make,
and then they also put like a little bio about
themselves specifically for us, we were just looking for someone
that matched the features of the individual that's not carrying.
(13:54):
And upon talking to the people to the the you
can ask for like the records of twenty three and
me and STD records, health records, all that good stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah, but I'm not on twenty three. You don't care.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I'm not on twenty three and me. Why do you
need to know how many siblings I have?
Speaker 8 (14:16):
Well, that's also not that you have specifically, but that
the donor has provided. So specifically, our donor has had
eleven successes. So that means that the child that comes
of this donation will have eleven siblings.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Right, yeah, but that's fine, that's fine.
Speaker 8 (14:34):
Yeah, but the twenty three and me I didn't care about,
but they have, but a lot of them have provided it.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Hey, can you like tender? Can you?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Can you like zoom in and zoom out? Like did
you want somebody in your area?
Speaker 7 (14:47):
Like?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Does it get that specific?
Speaker 7 (14:50):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
It does, so, like you could be at the.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Nine thirty club and zero it into somebody in the club.
Speaker 8 (14:57):
Not I don't think it's that closet. I think it's
this general area. But it also goes globally because we've
had people that liked us from like California or Germany
or something like that, and we don't obviously that's too far.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
So the donor can also swipe on you.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yes, oh yeah, oh I like that.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Gee, I like that. Well, I'd like to give you
know what, I'd like you to be fresh. I'd like
you to be fresh.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
I'd like you to be fresh.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Hey, was it was it weird at first?
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Yeah, it's super weird. We basically we just get a
hotel room and the guy comes up to the room.
He does his thing. We're hanging out in the parking lot,
and then he text us and like we're done, and
then we go back into the hotel room and in simony.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Wait, so you've done this already four times?
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Wait, so what what so the fourth did this one? Catch?
What you call it?
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Not catch?
Speaker 8 (16:02):
It wasn't successful? It was it wasn't successful.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Well, how long until you move on from that donor?
Speaker 8 (16:10):
So we didn't don't want to research, and it says
to wait up to a year to see if anything
does not happen, then that's when we'll start getting into
testing of not just the donor, but of the individual
that's carrying as well.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I got you, I got Wait did I just hear
a kid that'?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Never mind?
Speaker 8 (16:28):
Yeah right, No, it was my kid.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
I thought it. Wait so wait, you already have a kid? Yes?
From who? Another donor?
Speaker 8 (16:40):
No? This one?
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Oh someone got drunk? Did they someone got drunk?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
No?
Speaker 8 (16:44):
She's adopted.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Oh okay, oh, but so can can I ask this?
Did you not? Did you not want to go back
the adoption route?
Speaker 9 (16:54):
No?
Speaker 8 (16:55):
It was not a very fun experience for us. And
we've always talked about having our own child. So we
decided that we were going to carry this one.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Hey, so like when you when so you guys sit
down in the parking lot, and he like watches some
porn right and gets after it.
Speaker 8 (17:14):
And I guess that's what he does. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
The the And then like he sends you a text
and you guys sprint upstairs what like where like where?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Where? Where does he do his stuff?
Speaker 5 (17:26):
To business?
Speaker 8 (17:28):
They have kits, they have insemination kits that you can get.
So he does it in a cup and then he
actually takes the syringe and sucks it out of the
cup into the syringe, right, and then you.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Do the correct right, and you've done that four times. Yes,
I mean, listen, god, bless right. It just it seems
you understand. I don't want to be insulting. I'm not
trying to be, but yeah, it seems a little weird, right.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
It is weird, like the first time.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
You're sitting in the car going like, oh my god,
let's go already.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
That's got to be odd.
Speaker 8 (18:11):
It's funny you say that because that actually did happen.
Like the first time, it took forever, but there have
been times where it was super quick.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
So and you wouldn't mail order it, right.
Speaker 8 (18:22):
No, I don't think that mailing is a good option
because you want it to be, like you said, as
fresh as possible. But we don't want to have natural
insemination because a lot of people just use this as
an as an opportunity to hook up.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah, like I'm telling you, I want to give it
to you fresh. Like I said before, we gave her reasons. Hey,
so now will you do you think you'll try? Can
I ask two more questions?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, you're great. Is it like how much you're how
much are you paying? How much are you paying?
Speaker 8 (18:58):
Nothing? I pay for the hotel room.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
That's it?
Speaker 8 (19:01):
Are you serious? It's actually illegal to charge for sperm
donation if it's a private donor.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yes, Like, can you trade like you give me like
a like a door dash gift card.
Speaker 8 (19:15):
I guess if that was your requirements. But our donor
did not ask for any in any compensation. But there
are people who literally, like when we first started looking,
there was people who were like, oh, two hundred dollars
a pop or whatever. There are people who charge. Not
a lot of people do know that it's illegal to
charge for donations?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Is it really?
Speaker 7 (19:36):
So?
Speaker 3 (19:36):
If I go in the hotel.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
If I was your guy, it's illegal for me to say,
I mean, yes, pay for the room, I get that,
the towels, whatever, but the but it but by by law,
it's against the law for me to charge you for
my sperm.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
No kidding.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
It's like the oh yeah kind of but it's not
an organ I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
It's like it it's illegal to pay for or receiving
all money, yeah, or organs.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
God, i'd be rich.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
And is this like, is this the only So you're
going to use this guy for a year and if
it doesn't, if it doesn't take take or whatever you
call it, then you'll move on to someone else.
Speaker 9 (20:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (20:21):
And we've also talked about getting getting our side of
the spectrum, you know, test you see if it's something
wrong with us or if it's the donor.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Hey, and last thing, did who how did you guys?
I mean, I'm sure it's a conversation. It's a very
mature conversation as to who's going to carry right, Yes, I.
Speaker 8 (20:42):
Unfortunately cannot have kids myself, so my wife will be
the one that's carrying.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Gotcha, that makes sense? That makes sense.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Well, if you get a change of pace and you
want some uh some real fresh you let me know.
I'm sorry, Hey, keep me, keep me coming, best of luck,
best of luck, keep me posted than you.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
What is it like? Is it a cool hod like?
Is it a swanky hotel?
Speaker 8 (21:10):
Yeah, we do the holiday in Okay, so no, I
mean it's it's it's it's budget friendly and it's a
nice hotel.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
So it's a work trip.
Speaker 8 (21:20):
We don't do the motel six or anything like that.
Speaker 6 (21:23):
Right, not there for long?
Speaker 3 (21:24):
No, exactly. Well, the first time we were is like,
oh my god, what is this guy doing? All right,
very good, best of luck, best of luck, Thank you,
you got it. That's awesome.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
That can be your selling point.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Well I'm quick.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Yes, you won't be waiting in the parking lot too long.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
No, but there you go. That's perfect. That's perfect.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
So I was reading about it.
Speaker 7 (21:45):
It seems weird, though, doesn't it.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
It's yeah, I don't want to say, but not weird.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
No, no, no, but it's it's it seems unconventional the.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Apps though, in the websites, it's not just sperm donation,
it's donors, it's surrogates.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
It's dating with a purpose.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
So that would be where you are connecting with people who, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Well, isn't that what isn't that what this is?
Speaker 5 (22:11):
No?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Oh no, this is just delivering it.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
This is like dat oh no, you gotta be k
smells of lawsuit though with the filter you be picked
your profile like I hit it and get it and
they're like, no, no, no, we're dating.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I was like, no, I'm donating. Yeah, that would be
a problem.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
I thought you just want it fresh.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
No, but that's got too. That's two hands on no no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 5 (22:40):
We're not no, we're not same app.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
But the I don't I don't. I don't know if
I like that one. I don't like that one.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
That's like getting into a relationship with somebody and they
trick you into getting them pregnant and then they break
up with you.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
That's why you're telling each other as you're chatting, this
is our goal, this is what we want.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, I know, but what Yeah, but what I don't
I'm not. I didn't get on here to get married.
Speaker 6 (23:05):
You gotta be careful. It's like you said, careful what
the filters?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Oh that's rough eggs Okay, I get that. What's the
other one? I was doing saragate would be hard online.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Isn't that how a lot of people find their surrogates?
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh? Do they?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I thought that was word of mouth. I thought saragate
was a word of mouth thing.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Well, when someone's a surrogate, they are out of commission
for nine months.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Yeah, for almost a year.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Yeah, I don't get that. What being a surrogate like?
That's rough, that's rough.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
People do it out of the kindness of their heart.
They do it for the cash.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I'm giving you fresh out of the kindness of my heart. Hey,
dress it up a little bit before you come in here,
would you? Line one? Hi?
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Elliott in the morning?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Hi?
Speaker 7 (23:59):
This?
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (24:00):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Who's this?
Speaker 10 (24:02):
Hi? I'd rather not say because I work in the
legal field.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Oh, I was kidding, you know, I'm not giving you
my fresh.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
No, no, no.
Speaker 10 (24:11):
The reason I was calling is this is interesting. So
we had a woman call our office two years back
and she had done this it's not legal, And she
had actually gone to the gentleman's house and was in
the driveway and received it fresh from him. It did
take she did have a child and the car.
Speaker 6 (24:32):
No, she just got it from him in the driveway.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Well, that's not fresh. I mean oh, so he brought
it out of the house and gave it to her.
That's not I'm giving you fresh.
Speaker 9 (24:42):
I'm giving you brought it out of the house.
Speaker 10 (24:45):
But the child was I believe, like two, and she
the mom, the biological mom, had gotten a uh an illness.
She was terminal. She was diagnosed with terminal illness. So
she called her office wanting to know about custody because
the the sperm donors not on the for certificate or
(25:07):
anything like that, and she wanted to make sure that
when she passed, because that was inevitable, that he was
not going to be able to come back and take
her child because it's so biologically his. But because it's
an illegal procedure, they're really he could come back and
say that he wants his child.
Speaker 6 (25:29):
So did he keep did he keep in touch with
the woman and the baby? Okay, I would never do that.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
I would never do that. I don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
So what's the legal But it's understanding is if you
went through, let's just use sperm bank, right that I'm
I'm I'm going to use myself for both. I go
to the sperm bank, I watch a couple of good movies,
I give you my stuff, I walk out.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I am a donor.
Speaker 10 (25:59):
I come to your well, yes, because you signed, you signed,
there's a contractual agreement done. When it comes to sperm banks,
when it's this kind of stuff, there's there's no paperwork,
there's no contracts, there's nothing in writing.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
I go to I go to a house, I give
you my stuff fresh, and I'm not a donor, I'm
a father.
Speaker 10 (26:22):
Yes exactly.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
You're saying there's legality with the parental rights. You're not
saying it's like against the law.
Speaker 10 (26:31):
Well, yeah, well when it comes to the parental rights, correct,
there's no contracts signed. So he could if he if
he were to find out, and that was her concern
that if he were to find out that she had passed. Now,
whether he kept in touch with her through social media,
I don't know, but there was nothing that we could
do in the state that we live in because there
(26:52):
was no contract to There was a custody agreement, no consense,
nothing in writing. So if he wanted, he could fight
her family right to get custody.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Well, on my on my profile on Tinder for sperm
I'm contractually that nothing nothing.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
To contru.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I wave, all right, I wave?
Speaker 6 (27:19):
He did sound like lembs.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
All right, very good, very good, Thank you, paralegal, thank you.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Now, what if it goes the other way though? What
if the mother's terminal and I.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Don't that's playing out. I'm trying to push like fresh on.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
What it wants to tell you?
Speaker 1 (27:38):
No, no, contractually, I said no, no, I want no contact.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
You know what I want. I want a good review.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
That's it.
Speaker 9 (27:49):
Start.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
You're like, whatever you drafted, She's saying, it doesn't matter
because it wasn't done with any oversight, right, Could you
imagine that called Elliott? Well, what's mister Freshy's number? I
have an illness and I'm going to die.
Speaker 5 (28:08):
I need hello?
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Hello, Hello? Where am I going? Line one? Line one?
Hi Elliot in the morning. Hello, Yeah, Hi, who's this?
Speaker 8 (28:25):
Hey?
Speaker 9 (28:26):
My name is Lauren and I am a reproductive mental
health arabist.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
She's gonna like, oh, let's talk about it, let's talk
more fresh.
Speaker 9 (28:43):
No, there's so much. So there's so many interesting things
with the sperm market. There's actually a documentary called sperm
World out, but there's such a different so, yeah, it's crazy.
So it's all about like this Facebook market place of
sperm donors.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
They said, it's so prevalent, there's so like like, listen,
if you don't live in that world, I don't live
in that world, you would have no idea.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
But they said, this world, sperm world is so big.
Speaker 8 (29:15):
Yes, yes it is.
Speaker 9 (29:17):
And so essentially, if you don't get the right legal
paperwork done, donors can come back. And there's also a
difference between getting an actual sperm sample and having penetrative sex.
If you have penetrative sex, that equals parentage, which is
what you all are talking about, right. Parentage is that
who has the legal right to the child.
Speaker 10 (29:39):
And so there have been cases.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I just want to have sex, like I'm just trying
to give it to.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
Your friends' parentage.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
No, it's penitent tribb penetrative sex whatever.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I don't have to say it. I just want to
do it.
Speaker 10 (29:56):
Yeah, But so we had a babyb a surrogate.
Speaker 9 (29:59):
It was our genetic makeup. But essentially, like if you
don't get the right legal parentage paperwork done by a lawyer,
that's the difference between going to a donor company where
the legal paperwork is one hundred percent done versus like
going to Joe Schmoe off Facebook and just like having
(30:19):
him meet you at a hotel room, which is also
oftentimes don't happen.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
So like, yeah, yes, yes, yes, that's what happens.
Speaker 9 (30:30):
And so so donors could come back if you do
not have the right legal legal paperwork done.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Is that you know, I got to assume that that's
that's that's rare though, right.
Speaker 9 (30:45):
Look, I think that this is so unregulated that in
terms of like donorship that you don't know. The Other
thing that's a big concern is actually marriage equality. So
if if they roll back marriage equality, then there's also
questions of of who has legal parentage.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Oh, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Hey,
let me let me rewind to something you just said.
Did you say that you have a child through srogacy?
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (31:16):
I do?
Speaker 3 (31:17):
And is it is it?
Speaker 10 (31:18):
Is?
Speaker 3 (31:18):
It?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Is it you and your you and your husband, you
and your wife? Like, what what are you got going
on there?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Yep?
Speaker 9 (31:24):
What I got going on is me and my husband.
And it's genetically our child. So it's our it's called
your damnat, so it's our embryo, our biological matter. And
then it was so tend it into.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
His sperm, your a but just somebody else different to carry.
Speaker 9 (31:43):
It different your uterus.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Hey, how'd you find that person?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Facebook?
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Did you really? Yep?
Speaker 7 (31:53):
Yep?
Speaker 9 (31:53):
I sure did h isn't that unregulated?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
No?
Speaker 9 (31:58):
Because with surrogacy, because you're working with large fertility companies,
you have to have the legal paperwork to be able
to do a transfer. So that's why sperm donorship is
like the wild wild West out here, because there's no
there's no like process of like having to work with
a doctor. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
You have to work with a doctor's with.
Speaker 9 (32:22):
Egg donorship, you have to work with a doctor. With
embryo adoption, because it's an adoption, it's not you can't
buy embryos like eggs. So embryos are adopted.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Because it requires medical.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, like a shot at Jack Daniels in my hand,
like I'm good to go.
Speaker 9 (32:44):
Yeah for real? Yeah, no, for real?
Speaker 8 (32:47):
And then they I don't know if that Yeah.
Speaker 9 (32:49):
The other concern is like you have these prolific donors
and because again because it's unregulated, you could have a
donor that's like making a lot of babies in one
geographic region, which is then a major concern because like,
you could have brothers and sisters dating each other.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
But I know that anyway you could have that anyway.
I meant that.
Speaker 9 (33:14):
Anyway, where are we talking about, Elliott?
Speaker 10 (33:16):
Where else are you doing that.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Let's say I went to Mason. I have sex with
five girls at Mason. They get pregnant, they've got kids,
their kids date like, they don't.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Know, they don't know.
Speaker 9 (33:26):
Dude, what are the chances of that versus if you're
doing one hundred, you have one hundred kids in one
small region.
Speaker 6 (33:33):
Yeah, I mean it's higher.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
I'll give you that.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
And next break, they've got five girls pregnant. Elliott, Come on, no,
I was.
Speaker 9 (33:44):
Just making an example.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
I was just making an example.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
I guess it was better than your Jack Daniels comparison.
Let's say there's a couple that wants to have a child, right,
and they can't for whatever reason. It doesn't matter like
you think of like like like a what do they
call it, a like fertility treatments, right, or they would
go to a sperm bank and get sperm. But apparently,
(00:22):
like if you just if you just open up Facebook,
there's all kinds of like forums for people who want unregulated.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Sperm, so they don't. So there's not the cost of
going through like a clinic or either.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
There's not the cost there's not which can be very expensive.
Access is real limited. I don't know other reasons that
you wouldn't want to go through a like a regulated.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Sperm sperm combinations process. Maybe it is, Maybe it is.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
But they said if you just go on like literally
go on Facebook. There are so many forms of people
who are just selling their sperm to people who want it.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
So these aren't groups that are commiserating about infertility and issues. No,
and people are infiltrating with their sperm. These are groups
with sperm as the sort of attractant.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah, I want sperm, I have sperm to give.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
Wait, no, but who is there first?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
That's what I'm asking is it people who are going
to these places who would like unregulated sperm or and
and they happen to be I can't even say who
want unregulated sperm who are just discussing in these forums
the desire to get pregnant and then you have these
(01:59):
kind of maybe unsolicited offers or are these forums set
up as the place you go to get sperm?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I think it's the latter. I think it's I don't
think it's a store. If you will, I don't. Obviously
it's not brick and mortar. It's Facebook. The but by
the way, they said, there's like tender for sperm, like
there's all kinds of stuff. Really the yeah, everybody wants
unregulated sperm the but no, it's like, so imagine make
(02:31):
believe a brick and mortar. It's not a brick and
mortar that's set up for people to come and commiserate
about fertility issues and in discussions and support, and then
Elliott walks in.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
It's like, I got so much sperm.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It is a it's a it's a brick and mortar
setup for come meet here, for buyer and seller.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
That's what it sounds like. It's set up for isn't
that illegal?
Speaker 6 (02:56):
You would hope something like that is. I mean, we're
closely regulated, but it's unregulated.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yeah, it's unregulated.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Like for example, if if if if somebody called right
now was like, hey, we can't have a baby for
whatever reason. Maybe it's a lesbian couple, right, I'd be like,
I'll give you my sperm. Is that illegal?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
No, because we've heard of people using friends right.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, okay, so unregulated sperm isn't illegal.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
But if you are doing it via Facebook marketplace, right,
are you violating like terms of service?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Oh, I don't know, is it illegal? And that Facebook?
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Because we've certainly heard of couples who.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Yeah, just go ask a friend and then But do
those couples typically use like a middleman to make sure
everything is on the up and up or are they.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
What do you mean do it yourself?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Like is it is it through a a sperm bank
or a clinic just to make sure that that it's
it's stored properly and following all the rules like that.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
No, I was reading about one guy he got paid,
like not a lot of money, but he got paid
and it's cheaper because it's not gonna be as much
as like, if not, why wouldn't I just go to
a sperm bank.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Yeah, so he he at home.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Well, he was in contact with this couple, right, and
they wanted a baby, and he was like, I have sperm,
and they were like, we want it, and so he.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Said, all right, two options.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
They said, sometimes this sounds a little creepy, but I
get it. They said, sometimes the donor really pushes that
we should have sex and that's the best way to
give it to you.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
But it is okay. But you can see you don't have.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
To worry about shipping, you don't have to worry about spoilage.
It's just it's going to go from here to there.
It's not it's just sex. I'm giving you my sperm, right,
So there's They do say sometimes it's I don't want
to say pushy, but it'd be like, hey, you know what,
this would.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Be better not pushy predatory.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yeah, no, no, but it would be like, like, for example,
let's say like Haley's here, she's in the pit right now.
If she was like, we want to have a baby,
we're having some problems. Elliott, you seem like a great person.
I'd like your sperm.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Then I would either go Okay, we got to do
this one or two ways. We can either A I'll
go home and.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I'll what's the word I'm looking for, masturbate into some
kind of apparatus and then I get it to Haley.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
I know how to ship it.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I read all about that, and then and then or
why don't I just come over, I'll sex you and
that way you get the sperm. Right, you could see
where one might go, oh, well, that seems.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
A little bit better than having to worry about.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
The contamination and ship.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Contamination and shipping and you got to keep it the
right temperature.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So yeah, there's a lot of that. Also, is it
illegal for me to ship sperm in the mail?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
That also may all out of sounds like it, because
there are a lot of a lot of people, like
when I was reading about.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
It, they'll they'll get like.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
It's today is a real tomato centric show. But they'll
get like tomato puree, it almost freeze it and put
like their I don't know if you'd do it in
a baggy or like a jar or a cup or
whatever it is, but you put your sperm inside the
tomato puree that's really cold and frozen, and you ship
it that way.
Speaker 6 (06:27):
Hmm, why tomato puree or is.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
It illegal and like it throws the dogs? Yeah, yeah,
I don't know. I have no idea. No, I don't
think it's legal to send sperm through the mail.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
That I don't know. But here's my question.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
You know what, I have a bunch of self addressed
stamped envelopes at my house waiting for stickers.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
I understand the costs. So yes, that's that's easy to me.
That's very black and white at the cost. But I've
always thought that sperm bakes are set up and the
protocols that they go through for your benefit, whether it's
safety or the legality of guardianship and things that may
come up down the road.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
Right, So what is the cost aside?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Right?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Why do people want to avoid those safeguards? Are they
not the safeguards they're purported to be.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I don't know the answer to that part of it.
In terms of safeguards, Some people do.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
It for privacy, Okay, I understand that.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Like they don't want to be they don't want to
be on record, they don't want like all of that.
Some don't want the like. I don't know if this
is true in all cases. But some don't want the
donor knowing who they are. Okay, now, granted in this case,
you know who the donor is, Elliott Sperm and I
just sent you my sperm in the tomato sauce. So
(07:48):
but some of them, just some of them don't want
the whether it's the clinic, the donor the money, like
whatever it is, they just don't want middle man involved.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
It's more off the grid, off the record, Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
So they're for them when it's unregulated.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
The benefits outweigh what maybe they see as benefits with
the sperm bank, but they prefer.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Why don't we have regular sex?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Let me give you if we have heard we've had little.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Call about that where it's that's how they receive the
sperm donation.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Yeah, yeah, that does happen.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, but don't they mostly know those people.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
We've I think talked to people who've had like friends.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
I would do that. No, I would.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
I think in the past you've said that, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I would do that.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
If if if I had two friends that really wanted
a kid, and they were like, Elliott, we we love you,
we really think your sperm is the one we want.
But I gotta be honest, I need it the old
fashioned way. I'd be like, let's let's hit it.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Jackie'd be cool with That's also asked you that question
in the past as well.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably not. I mean we would have
to have a long conversation. Sure, we'd have to have
a long conversation about it, for sure.
Speaker 7 (09:15):
But they said, like there's Facebook groups that are forty
fifty sixty thousand people who are in these forums like
looking for and like some of the donors get.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Rated, like there's this one guy, No, there's this one guy,
what's his name, Joe donor? Okay, they say he gets
such high ratings. They think he's got one hundred and
eighty kids. They do say he's also one of those
that's like, hey, let.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Me give it to you the fresh way.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
So if you're worried about like the number of siblings,
this may not be the best pass.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, but you can't.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yes, you can be No, I mean you if you're
going through a bank of any kind, you're you run
that risk, you run that.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
You don't think it's going to be one hundred and
eighty No, But.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
But at a sperm bank, like are you you're only
allowed to give them your stuff once.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Uh no, because there's it'd be hard to track that
over all of the banks, probably unless there's a central database.
But when it comes to testing all the samples, it's
it almost sounds like it is consumer reports versus online reviews. Yes,
like the bank is consumer reports. These facea are just
(10:36):
Google reviews because you're not really unless the person's supposedly providing.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
You may get it fresh, get it fresh.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Medical testing, well, no, there is none. No, But do
some of these donors do that? Do they independently have
their stuff tested to provide Oh?
Speaker 3 (10:54):
I don't know the answer to that. I wouldn't even
know how to do that.
Speaker 5 (10:57):
You can test their sperm, right for what?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Like motility and all that? Just okay, pointing at it
doesn't do anything.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
But what does the bank test for?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I have no idea. I never donated.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
More like the health of the sperm?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Not okay, I guess motility is the health of the sperm,
but it isn't it More like.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
The like the chromosomes of the sperm.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Yeah, the general well being of perhaps the donor and
the that's why you got to get it fresh?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Oh my god, they said, sometimes the guys are pushy.
Speaker 6 (11:29):
Yes, you don't think that sounds weird?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
But again, do you want do you want day old
frozen bagels or do you want fresh bagels?
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
So they do test for infectious diseases and genetic conditions.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
Can I go out?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yes, you could go out and go, Hey, I get tested.
I don't have any STDs.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I'm look at me, I'm good. Get it fresh?
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Oh my god, look at me.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah, I don't have any genetic issues.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I'm sure. But whatever?
Speaker 5 (12:04):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (12:06):
Where is this sort of like what do I ship
it in? This says there is a male and sperm
testing kit.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Where am I going? Line wane?
Speaker 5 (12:16):
Do it for your poop?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
The you know what? That's true? Colo Guard, spermo guard.
Hi Elliott in the morning. Hi, Yeah, Hi? Who's this?
Speaker 8 (12:27):
This is jess h Yeah, Hi.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 8 (12:31):
So my wife and I actually are in the middle
of going through unregulated sperm donations at the moment.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Hey, do you want it fresh?
Speaker 9 (12:41):
No?
Speaker 8 (12:42):
We're gay for a reason.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Good answer. But this isn't romance. This is this is
so wait. So how are you? How are you? How
are you doing it? Are you online? Are you on Facebook?
Speaker 8 (12:57):
We are on Facebook? But like you had mentioned before
where there's also an app like tender for sperm or
egg donations, and we.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
What is the app for tender for sperm?
Speaker 8 (13:11):
It's called just a Baby?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Are you serious? For to god?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
And it's just a baby and it's you're just swiping yep.
Is that where you got your sperm?
Speaker 5 (13:24):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Oh my god? How did you know who to? How
did you know who to swipe on?
Speaker 8 (13:30):
So they have like just like Tender, they have pictures
of themselves, pictures and sometimes they even produce provide pictures
of like other successful children that they have helped make,
and then they also put like a little bio about
themselves specifically for us, we were just looking for someone
that matched the features of the individual that's not carrying.
(13:54):
And upon talking to the people to the the you
can ask for like the records of twenty three and
me and STD records, health records, all that good stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah, but I'm not on twenty three. You don't care.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I'm not on twenty three and me. Why do you
need to know how many siblings I have?
Speaker 8 (14:16):
Well, that's also not that you have specifically, but that
the donor has provided. So specifically, our donor has had
eleven successes. So that means that the child that comes
of this donation will have eleven siblings.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Right, yeah, but that's fine, that's fine.
Speaker 8 (14:34):
Yeah, but the twenty three and me I didn't care about,
but they have, but a lot of them have provided it.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Hey, can you like tender? Can you?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Can you like zoom in and zoom out? Like did
you want somebody in your area?
Speaker 7 (14:47):
Like?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Does it get that specific?
Speaker 7 (14:50):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
It does, so, like you could be at the.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Nine thirty club and zero it into somebody in the club.
Speaker 8 (14:57):
Not I don't think it's that closet. I think it's
this general area. But it also goes globally because we've
had people that liked us from like California or Germany
or something like that, and we don't obviously that's too far.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
So the donor can also swipe on you.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yes, oh yeah, oh I like that.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Gee, I like that. Well, I'd like to give you
know what, I'd like you to be fresh. I'd like
you to be fresh.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
I'd like you to be fresh.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Hey, was it was it weird at first?
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Yeah, it's super weird. We basically we just get a
hotel room and the guy comes up to the room.
He does his thing. We're hanging out in the parking lot,
and then he text us and like we're done, and
then we go back into the hotel room and in simony.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Wait, so you've done this already four times?
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Wait, so what what so the fourth did this one? Catch?
What you call it?
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Not catch?
Speaker 8 (16:02):
It wasn't successful? It was it wasn't successful.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Well, how long until you move on from that donor?
Speaker 8 (16:10):
So we didn't don't want to research, and it says
to wait up to a year to see if anything
does not happen, then that's when we'll start getting into
testing of not just the donor, but of the individual
that's carrying as well.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I got you, I got Wait did I just hear
a kid that'?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Never mind?
Speaker 8 (16:28):
Yeah right, No, it was my kid.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
I thought it. Wait so wait, you already have a kid? Yes?
From who? Another donor?
Speaker 8 (16:40):
No? This one?
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Oh someone got drunk? Did they someone got drunk?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
No?
Speaker 8 (16:44):
She's adopted.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Oh okay, oh, but so can can I ask this?
Did you not? Did you not want to go back
the adoption route?
Speaker 9 (16:54):
No?
Speaker 8 (16:55):
It was not a very fun experience for us. And
we've always talked about having our own child. So we
decided that we were going to carry this one.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Hey, so like when you when so you guys sit
down in the parking lot, and he like watches some
porn right and gets after it.
Speaker 8 (17:14):
And I guess that's what he does. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
The the And then like he sends you a text
and you guys sprint upstairs what like where like where?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Where? Where does he do his stuff?
Speaker 5 (17:26):
To business?
Speaker 8 (17:28):
They have kits, they have insemination kits that you can get.
So he does it in a cup and then he
actually takes the syringe and sucks it out of the
cup into the syringe, right, and then you.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Do the correct right, and you've done that four times. Yes,
I mean, listen, god, bless right. It just it seems
you understand. I don't want to be insulting. I'm not
trying to be, but yeah, it seems a little weird, right.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
It is weird, like the first time.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
You're sitting in the car going like, oh my god,
let's go already.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
That's got to be odd.
Speaker 8 (18:11):
It's funny you say that because that actually did happen.
Like the first time, it took forever, but there have
been times where it was super quick.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
So and you wouldn't mail order it, right.
Speaker 8 (18:22):
No, I don't think that mailing is a good option
because you want it to be, like you said, as
fresh as possible. But we don't want to have natural
insemination because a lot of people just use this as
an as an opportunity to hook up.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah, like I'm telling you, I want to give it
to you fresh. Like I said before, we gave her reasons. Hey,
so now will you do you think you'll try? Can
I ask two more questions?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, you're great. Is it like how much you're how
much are you paying? How much are you paying?
Speaker 8 (18:58):
Nothing? I pay for the hotel room.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
That's it?
Speaker 8 (19:01):
Are you serious? It's actually illegal to charge for sperm
donation if it's a private donor.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yes, Like, can you trade like you give me like
a like a door dash gift card.
Speaker 8 (19:15):
I guess if that was your requirements. But our donor
did not ask for any in any compensation. But there
are people who literally, like when we first started looking,
there was people who were like, oh, two hundred dollars
a pop or whatever. There are people who charge. Not
a lot of people do know that it's illegal to
charge for donations?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Is it really?
Speaker 7 (19:36):
So?
Speaker 3 (19:36):
If I go in the hotel.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
If I was your guy, it's illegal for me to say,
I mean, yes, pay for the room, I get that,
the towels, whatever, but the but it but by by law,
it's against the law for me to charge you for
my sperm.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
No kidding.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
It's like the oh yeah kind of but it's not
an organ I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
It's like it it's illegal to pay for or receiving
all money, yeah, or organs.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
God, i'd be rich.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
And is this like, is this the only So you're
going to use this guy for a year and if
it doesn't, if it doesn't take take or whatever you
call it, then you'll move on to someone else.
Speaker 9 (20:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (20:21):
And we've also talked about getting getting our side of
the spectrum, you know, test you see if it's something
wrong with us or if it's the donor.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Hey, and last thing, did who how did you guys?
I mean, I'm sure it's a conversation. It's a very
mature conversation as to who's going to carry right, Yes, I.
Speaker 8 (20:42):
Unfortunately cannot have kids myself, so my wife will be
the one that's carrying.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Gotcha, that makes sense? That makes sense.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Well, if you get a change of pace and you
want some uh some real fresh you let me know.
I'm sorry, Hey, keep me, keep me coming, best of luck,
best of luck, keep me posted than you.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
What is it like? Is it a cool hod like?
Is it a swanky hotel?
Speaker 8 (21:10):
Yeah, we do the holiday in Okay, so no, I
mean it's it's it's it's budget friendly and it's a
nice hotel.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
So it's a work trip.
Speaker 8 (21:20):
We don't do the motel six or anything like that.
Speaker 6 (21:23):
Right, not there for long?
Speaker 3 (21:24):
No, exactly. Well, the first time we were is like,
oh my god, what is this guy doing? All right,
very good, best of luck, best of luck, Thank you,
you got it. That's awesome.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
That can be your selling point.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Well I'm quick.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Yes, you won't be waiting in the parking lot too long.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
No, but there you go. That's perfect. That's perfect.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
So I was reading about it.
Speaker 7 (21:45):
It seems weird, though, doesn't it.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
It's yeah, I don't want to say, but not weird.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
No, no, no, but it's it's it seems unconventional the.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Apps though, in the websites, it's not just sperm donation,
it's donors, it's surrogates.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
It's dating with a purpose.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
So that would be where you are connecting with people who, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Well, isn't that what isn't that what this is?
Speaker 5 (22:11):
No?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Oh no, this is just delivering it.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
This is like dat oh no, you gotta be k
smells of lawsuit though with the filter you be picked
your profile like I hit it and get it and
they're like, no, no, no, we're dating.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I was like, no, I'm donating. Yeah, that would be
a problem.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
I thought you just want it fresh.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
No, but that's got too. That's two hands on no no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 5 (22:40):
We're not no, we're not same app.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
But the I don't I don't. I don't know if
I like that one. I don't like that one.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
That's like getting into a relationship with somebody and they
trick you into getting them pregnant and then they break
up with you.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
That's why you're telling each other as you're chatting, this
is our goal, this is what we want.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, I know, but what Yeah, but what I don't
I'm not. I didn't get on here to get married.
Speaker 6 (23:05):
You gotta be careful. It's like you said, careful what
the filters?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Oh that's rough eggs Okay, I get that. What's the
other one? I was doing saragate would be hard online.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Isn't that how a lot of people find their surrogates?
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh? Do they?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I thought that was word of mouth. I thought saragate
was a word of mouth thing.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Well, when someone's a surrogate, they are out of commission
for nine months.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Yeah, for almost a year.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Yeah, I don't get that. What being a surrogate like?
That's rough, that's rough.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
People do it out of the kindness of their heart.
They do it for the cash.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I'm giving you fresh out of the kindness of my heart. Hey,
dress it up a little bit before you come in here,
would you? Line one? Hi?
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Elliott in the morning?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Hi?
Speaker 7 (23:59):
This?
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (24:00):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Who's this?
Speaker 10 (24:02):
Hi? I'd rather not say because I work in the
legal field.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Oh, I was kidding, you know, I'm not giving you
my fresh.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
No, no, no.
Speaker 10 (24:11):
The reason I was calling is this is interesting. So
we had a woman call our office two years back
and she had done this it's not legal, And she
had actually gone to the gentleman's house and was in
the driveway and received it fresh from him. It did
take she did have a child and the car.
Speaker 6 (24:32):
No, she just got it from him in the driveway.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Well, that's not fresh. I mean oh, so he brought
it out of the house and gave it to her.
That's not I'm giving you fresh.
Speaker 9 (24:42):
I'm giving you brought it out of the house.
Speaker 10 (24:45):
But the child was I believe, like two, and she
the mom, the biological mom, had gotten a uh an illness.
She was terminal. She was diagnosed with terminal illness. So
she called her office wanting to know about custody because
the the sperm donors not on the for certificate or
(25:07):
anything like that, and she wanted to make sure that
when she passed, because that was inevitable, that he was
not going to be able to come back and take
her child because it's so biologically his. But because it's
an illegal procedure, they're really he could come back and
say that he wants his child.
Speaker 6 (25:29):
So did he keep did he keep in touch with
the woman and the baby? Okay, I would never do that.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
I would never do that. I don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
So what's the legal But it's understanding is if you
went through, let's just use sperm bank, right that I'm
I'm I'm going to use myself for both. I go
to the sperm bank, I watch a couple of good movies,
I give you my stuff, I walk out.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I am a donor.
Speaker 10 (25:59):
I come to your well, yes, because you signed, you signed,
there's a contractual agreement done. When it comes to sperm banks,
when it's this kind of stuff, there's there's no paperwork,
there's no contracts, there's nothing in writing.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
I go to I go to a house, I give
you my stuff fresh, and I'm not a donor, I'm
a father.
Speaker 10 (26:22):
Yes exactly.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
You're saying there's legality with the parental rights. You're not
saying it's like against the law.
Speaker 10 (26:31):
Well, yeah, well when it comes to the parental rights, correct,
there's no contracts signed. So he could if he if
he were to find out, and that was her concern
that if he were to find out that she had passed. Now,
whether he kept in touch with her through social media,
I don't know, but there was nothing that we could
do in the state that we live in because there
(26:52):
was no contract to There was a custody agreement, no consense,
nothing in writing. So if he wanted, he could fight
her family right to get custody.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Well, on my on my profile on Tinder for sperm
I'm contractually that nothing nothing.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
To contru.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I wave, all right, I wave?
Speaker 6 (27:19):
He did sound like lembs.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
All right, very good, very good, Thank you, paralegal, thank you.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Now, what if it goes the other way though? What
if the mother's terminal and I.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Don't that's playing out. I'm trying to push like fresh on.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
What it wants to tell you?
Speaker 1 (27:38):
No, no, contractually, I said no, no, I want no contact.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
You know what I want. I want a good review.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
That's it.
Speaker 9 (27:49):
Start.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
You're like, whatever you drafted, She's saying, it doesn't matter
because it wasn't done with any oversight, right, Could you
imagine that called Elliott? Well, what's mister Freshy's number? I
have an illness and I'm going to die.
Speaker 5 (28:08):
I need hello?
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Hello, Hello? Where am I going? Line one? Line one?
Hi Elliot in the morning. Hello, Yeah, Hi, who's this?
Speaker 8 (28:25):
Hey?
Speaker 9 (28:26):
My name is Lauren and I am a reproductive mental
health arabist.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
She's gonna like, oh, let's talk about it, let's talk
more fresh.
Speaker 9 (28:43):
No, there's so much. So there's so many interesting things
with the sperm market. There's actually a documentary called sperm
World out, but there's such a different so, yeah, it's crazy.
So it's all about like this Facebook market place of
sperm donors.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
They said, it's so prevalent, there's so like like, listen,
if you don't live in that world, I don't live
in that world, you would have no idea.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
But they said, this world, sperm world is so big.
Speaker 8 (29:15):
Yes, yes it is.
Speaker 9 (29:17):
And so essentially, if you don't get the right legal
paperwork done, donors can come back. And there's also a
difference between getting an actual sperm sample and having penetrative sex.
If you have penetrative sex, that equals parentage, which is
what you all are talking about, right. Parentage is that
who has the legal right to the child.
Speaker 10 (29:39):
And so there have been cases.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I just want to have sex, like I'm just trying
to give it to.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
Your friends' parentage.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
No, it's penitent tribb penetrative sex whatever.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I don't have to say it. I just want to
do it.
Speaker 10 (29:56):
Yeah, But so we had a babyb a surrogate.
Speaker 9 (29:59):
It was our genetic makeup. But essentially, like if you
don't get the right legal parentage paperwork done by a lawyer,
that's the difference between going to a donor company where
the legal paperwork is one hundred percent done versus like
going to Joe Schmoe off Facebook and just like having
(30:19):
him meet you at a hotel room, which is also
oftentimes don't happen.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
So like, yeah, yes, yes, yes, that's what happens.
Speaker 9 (30:30):
And so so donors could come back if you do
not have the right legal legal paperwork done.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Is that you know, I got to assume that that's
that's that's rare though, right.
Speaker 9 (30:45):
Look, I think that this is so unregulated that in
terms of like donorship that you don't know. The Other
thing that's a big concern is actually marriage equality. So
if if they roll back marriage equality, then there's also
questions of of who has legal parentage.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Oh, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Hey,
let me let me rewind to something you just said.
Did you say that you have a child through srogacy?
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (31:16):
I do?
Speaker 3 (31:17):
And is it is it?
Speaker 10 (31:18):
Is?
Speaker 3 (31:18):
It?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Is it you and your you and your husband, you
and your wife? Like, what what are you got going
on there?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Yep?
Speaker 9 (31:24):
What I got going on is me and my husband.
And it's genetically our child. So it's our it's called
your damnat, so it's our embryo, our biological matter. And
then it was so tend it into.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
His sperm, your a but just somebody else different to carry.
Speaker 9 (31:43):
It different your uterus.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Hey, how'd you find that person?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Facebook?
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Did you really? Yep?
Speaker 7 (31:53):
Yep?
Speaker 9 (31:53):
I sure did h isn't that unregulated?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
No?
Speaker 9 (31:58):
Because with surrogacy, because you're working with large fertility companies,
you have to have the legal paperwork to be able
to do a transfer. So that's why sperm donorship is
like the wild wild West out here, because there's no
there's no like process of like having to work with
a doctor. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
You have to work with a doctor's with.
Speaker 9 (32:22):
Egg donorship, you have to work with a doctor. With
embryo adoption, because it's an adoption, it's not you can't
buy embryos like eggs. So embryos are adopted.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Because it requires medical.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, like a shot at Jack Daniels in my hand,
like I'm good to go.
Speaker 9 (32:44):
Yeah for real? Yeah, no, for real?
Speaker 8 (32:47):
And then they I don't know if that Yeah.
Speaker 9 (32:49):
The other concern is like you have these prolific donors
and because again because it's unregulated, you could have a
donor that's like making a lot of babies in one
geographic region, which is then a major concern because like,
you could have brothers and sisters dating each other.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
But I know that anyway you could have that anyway.
I meant that.
Speaker 9 (33:14):
Anyway, where are we talking about, Elliott?
Speaker 10 (33:16):
Where else are you doing that.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Let's say I went to Mason. I have sex with
five girls at Mason. They get pregnant, they've got kids,
their kids date like, they don't.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Know, they don't know.
Speaker 9 (33:26):
Dude, what are the chances of that versus if you're
doing one hundred, you have one hundred kids in one
small region.
Speaker 6 (33:33):
Yeah, I mean it's higher.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
I'll give you that.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
And next break, they've got five girls pregnant. Elliott, Come on, no,
I was.
Speaker 9 (33:44):
Just making an example.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
I was just making an example.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
I guess it was better than your Jack Daniels comparison.
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