June 5, 2026 ⢠22 mins
Blowing up the phone.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This one question will change how you use your phone.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And it's not saying you got to get rid of anything.
It's not saying, well that a little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Is this just an exercise where if you feel like
I'm wasting too much time, if you stop and ask
yourself this question, then you can be honest with yourself
and be like, Okay, let me exercise a little self control.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I like how you're thinking.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
I like you tried this approach before.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
I just gonna say, so, here's what I here's what mentally,
here's what I would like you to do, because you're
not doing it literally right now, but here's what it
says to do, and it is it's just ask yourself
this one question, and when you do this will help
(00:48):
you out tremendously. Also, let me ask you this. Let
me before I even get to that. Do you have
your phone with you? Will you unlock it for me?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Please?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Almost sounds like youre's they have a magic trick.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
The let me see your home screen?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Is there already a photo of your penis on your WALLPAPERA?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Are are they organized in any way?
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I hate folders?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
No, I know that, but are they organized?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
The main ones that I use are on the first
two pages pretty much, right, will.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You hold hold your phone off? I'd like to see
you scroll through it.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Okay, So if you, let's say you downloaded and keep
going place, keep going?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Okay, seriously, you all of those those are games? Keep going?
Oh Jesus Christ, what do you have on there?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Last page?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
If you downloaded something? Now?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Mm hmm, would you go in and specifically place it
or just it.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Goes to the bottom of the last.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Page, bottom of the last page, because then when I
needed I know it's the last one there.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Good answer goes?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Right?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Is that how you? And but you spend a lot
of time with your phone?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Right, when you when you at your house, right, you're
pick a room doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Okay, kitchen okay, well how about a room you use?
I am in the kitchen on my laptop quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Living room okay, do you just like did you when
when when it was when when you were setting up
the living room, were you just like, I don't know,
just put the TV there, that's the middle of the room,
and I'll just put the sofa over.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
There and organize it, right, But you don't organize it
your phone for flow?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
You don't know for flow? What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
So you don't want to have like a table that
you're going to trip over?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Right, And you wanted to look a certain way, you
wanted to feel a certain way, right, But you don't
do that with your phone?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
No?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Why not?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I don't know. People aren't coming and sitting on my phone?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
No offense, But how often how you set your living
room up for people to come and sit in it
now or.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
For us to have a comfortable place to hang out?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Absolutely, but you still set it up to look a
certain way?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Do that with your home screen?
Speaker 3 (03:21):
So you is this a whole a campaign for folders?
I hate folders?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
No, I didn't say anything about folders. I didn't say
anything about folders.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
But you you make it sound like, yeah, if I
download something, it just goes right to the end and
that's fine.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah, So if I got what, am I wasting precious
seconds looking for something?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I don't like that attitude. No, do you see what
I mean? This is the problem.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
She doesn't want to shange.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
No, she doesn't.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
The first step is admitting there's a.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Problem, which she did the other.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Day, But then she doesn't when actually confronted with it,
like to embrace a solution. She doesn't want help. She
doesn't mean it's a problem. She doesn't want our help.
She's helpless.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
I don't, I don't. I really don't understand what you're
telling me to do.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Well, what was the question? Do you feel like you
never asked a question?
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Again?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
You asked like ten questions.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
No, but now I'm going to get it to I
have to find it here it is.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
It's on the last page, so it's memorable.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Open your most used social media app. Ask yourself one
question about six of the accounts you follow.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Does this expand me or shrink me?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Okay, expand.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Which one was it? Which one was it?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
No, it's like I opened up Instagram and it's a
good way for me to keep tabs on my kid.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Okay, that's fine. That one. That one expands you.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so everything that, every everything you follow,
every one or person or company.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
You follow with the friends kids?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Is she going one by one here?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
No, I'm just going through the stories that are pumping
up at the top. I gotta keep up with Crider.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
The really is you call them back?
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Not yet?
Speaker 4 (05:11):
I think we answered that one for her it's only.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Been a couple of days. I've been busy, the busy
stranger things.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Oh that, yeah, that that expands you.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
I don't see anything mormful here.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Now it does say, it's not you're not asking yourself.
Is it entertaining? You're not asking yourself? Do I agree
with it? What you're asking yourself?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Is?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
After I engage with this, do I feel more curious,
more grounded, more kind? Or do I feel smaller, more anxious,
more numb.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I can't remember the last time I saw something on
TikTok that I felt kind.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Okay, then you should get rid of it.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Okay, then why don't you get rid of ESPN?
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Is it the whole app or the file?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
This is?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
This is?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
This is because.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
You're getting you're getting up on your your high horse.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I wasn't the one who complained about getting into bed
and then scrolling.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I didn't complain.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
I told you we're at the second step here, and
she does not want toy.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
You just want to pretend that TikTok's great for you.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
No.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I like seeing people acting like fools and getting called
out for it, and.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
That expands you or whatever. His question was, Well, that's
not entertaining.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
That that's pure entertainment.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Right, I'm not asking if it's not making.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Me more curious or grounded or right.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I'm not asking you if it is. I'm just saying,
does it make you? Does it expand you or shrink you?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I don't think laughing at stuff is shrinking me.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
So we're gonna get nowhere with her, and you're not
with me on cleaning up your home screen.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
No, because I told you, like the first two pages
are the ones that I go to the most, and
I kind of know the other ones, like when I
when I want to go to that game, I gotta
flu probably four pages.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
You know, there's another question in here? Where was the
other thing that they were talking about in here? Well,
you you should also remove what drains your energy.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
I say, hear something about a reframing of how you
relate to your phone?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Oh what does that say?
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Every scroll is a prayer. Not in a religious sense.
I know the show.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
We've been very religious me today.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah, we discover it so much. You may think that,
but no, this is in the most literal one. A
prayer is an act of directed attention. You turn towards
something and say this matters every time you open an app,
so I've done a feed or tap a notification. You
perform that action. You are saying to the universe, show
me what is real? Show me what I should care about.
The algorithm answers, and it doesn't have your well being
(08:12):
in mind.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
M H.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
So when you approach the phone with a mentality similar
akin to that, that can certainly make you rethink what
you're doing on it. Open your phone and think about
what I said. Think about prayer. Every scroll is a prayer,
(08:38):
an act of directed attention. You turn towards something and
say this matters. Do you feel like as you're working
your way through your apps? This matters?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
That's a great question.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Okay, what's the classification for me? Just going through and clear?
Nowt email?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
That's different, that's what more of a task? Okay, yes,
we're talking about mindless scrolling?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Okay, right, you know your day of my day?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Sorry ninety five?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah, because I got that time.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
One of the central practices you can return to again
and again is what am I feeding my consciousness?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Garbage?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
The mind, like the body, becomes what it takes in.
Feed it fear and it learns to expect danger. Feed
a comparison, and it forgets what it already has, feed
it outrage, and it loses the ability to sit quietly
with what is.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
By the way, Diane right now is daydreaming about Francine
Kristen is hanging on every word.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
This isn't a call to delete your apps or move
to a monastery. It's something simpler and more radical. Curate
your digital space like a sacred one.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
That gets me to your living room. You put so
much care into how you're living, not not your literal
living room, but in general. You wanted to be decorated
the right way, to have the right pictures.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You're sofa. Where is it in relation to the TV?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
You take such care in that, But this, which is
which is feeding you you don't even care about.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Can't see me changing, you really don't. I can go
through periods where I'm like, okay, you know, stop put
it down. You know you need to you need to
be more productive. You need to do something an hour
and a half now that doesn't happen all the time.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Was the most self care you ever showed yourself on
your phone? I remember, and it goes back a couple
of years, but you did start to block and unfollow
some people. Did that help? Yes, because at that time,
in those moments, did you feel like were you blocking
your phone was upsetting you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
If if I would, if if there were accounts that
I would see that would pop up, and it would
just like it would be like, oh god, eye roll,
I would just block or unfollow, So you don't. You
don't and then within two weeks you forget.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
About them, right, So you don't have those anymore.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
No, I don't think I've got stuff that pisses me
off like that. That's what that means. I may get
stuff forwarded to me.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
You were thinking about what you were feeding your consciousness.
You may not have phrased it that way, but it
was certainly top of mind. Yeah, it was a choice, Dan,
I'm not telling you. I'm agreeing with Oh okay. Yeah,
(11:42):
this has left you confused. It looks like me, Oh no,
you're doing a great job. Ye. No, Diane, Oh yeah, no,
I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Are you?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Are you puzzled right now because you're coming to terms
with the reality of it all, Like how we're gonna
have to take your phone away?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
What am I twelve?
Speaker 4 (12:02):
It's like your keys when you're older, Diane.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
You can't drive anymore, You're done, can't drive your phone anymore? Well,
how can I call Uber? If you have my phone?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
That's essential? That that expands you, That expands you.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Lava says, I agree with all of this. Yes, we're
telling it like it is. Interventions are difficult.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Hi Elliott in the morning.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
Hey, good morning. So they're talking about social media being
unhealthy in a comparison's sake. So the saying is that
you should never compare your behind the scenes to someone
else's highlights.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Huh, that's fair because they say everybody's you know, a
feeds are a highlight reel, right or a.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Best of correct.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
So, like, think about the behind the scenes on a movie,
the bloopers, like all the craft that goes into making
it hysterically, the actual movie is production right. So if
you're thinking of your everyday life, the behind the scenes
and the feed you're seeing from other people is their highlights.
It makes you think, oh, my life is not as.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Great as theirs.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Oh I get that as exciting as theirs, because what
you're seeing is their curated version of their life. So
it tends to just make everybody unhappy with what they
have or what they experience.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Oh, I could see that. I could see that.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Overmind myself of that. Well, my daughter eventually gets a phone.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
There you go, there you go, smell my face.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Hey, smelly good. That's good.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Your highlight reel is there behind the scene.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Your initial reaction to it was.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Well, it had to be explained to me, you know.
But you know what the problem is. But I don't
post anything.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I don't either.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
What is the most valuable thing you have?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Diane?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Wait? We say that again.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
What is the most valuable thing Diane has? And you Elliott,
and you Christen? This is the question for all of
using it.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
But we're not saying like like kids, no, no.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
No, no, no, like a possession. My same answer for everybody.
I just was giving it to Diane because this is her.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
There's no way.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
That my most valuable thing is the same as Diane's.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Well, according to this writer, it.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Is, oh what is it? My heart? Bread?
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Christen? She looks like she does the what is the
most thing you have? Kristen?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Your brain? It's going to be some stupid answer like that.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
I guarantee. My my first guess isn't right, Cooter, what
was yours house? No? But that there's different. It's like,
is it the most most valuable thing you own? Or
is it something that you value?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
An unhoused person would say the same answer.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
No, they wouldn't.
Speaker 7 (14:52):
I would like to have a roof over.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Their head, Kristin, What is the most valuable thing you have?
Speaker 7 (14:59):
I don't love to be materialistic?
Speaker 8 (15:02):
No, it's one of those if if a homeless person
and Diane both have it, you know, it's like love
or compassion, it's like some emotion.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
No, if it's something that all of us have each other,
Oh god, no, there's a lot of people are loaners,
not the four of us.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Well, again, this answer is supposed to be universal love.
It's not love.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Is it just a life?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You got it? Elliott?
Speaker 3 (15:35):
What a pet?
Speaker 8 (15:36):
We all got to everybody has pets, Chris, No, but
it's every bit universal.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Everybody is going to say that over is the answer.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
By the way, you know what today is the anniversary.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Of, yes, our trip to Disney.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Huh oh two years?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
And what happened on this day in two thousand and seven?
Speaker 7 (15:57):
I had just graduated high school.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Well, I got it. No, put Molson down.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
What made you think of that?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Oh, it's in my calendar. Why I got an alert?
I got an alert for that?
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Have you been dismissing it for nineteen years?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
And dinner reservation? I got an alert for both today
the no, no, no anyway, But why is that in
your calendar?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Just so I remember it? Every year?
Speaker 7 (16:22):
I have anniversaries of like people passing in my calendar.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
This is a pet because you need to maybe reach
out to family or friend, correct, I want to? Yeah, Elliott,
I told Jackie, Oh, he doesn't care, so she didn't know.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Maybe it's not in her calendar. You don't have who
you don't have the day that Thompson died? I do not.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I know, like the gotcha days or whatever they say
when you adopt.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Oh, I couldn't tell you a gotcha day for any
of my animals, you know, the shotsha days. All right,
let me get back to what everybody loves? No, no, no, no,
what's what is?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
What is?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Give me the phrasing, the most valuable thing? You have?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
The most valuable thing? I have family? No, not everybody
has family. There's plenty of people who don't have family.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
So Elliott is on the right track.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Yes, because it's not like cap season tickets.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
First, No, it's one of those like love.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
So I say, that is it? It's not life?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
No, and it's not love. Stop saying love.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
No, But it's like it's an emotion. No, but it's
like that. It's like that liberty and what did you
just say?
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Justice? You look around and think this is a just society.
It is not.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Well, what does everybody have? The most valuable thing that
everybody has?
Speaker 7 (17:54):
At first I got Tyler, what the four of us have?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
But this is universe?
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
I thought it meant the studio that everybody has a shirt.
And you're right, that's not the correct answer.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Okay, so it's not let's.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Not play Diane's game. And there's only one answer.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
He ask those people in the Daily Mail in their loin.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Cloths, don't contact them, don't contact them.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
No.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
But that's where it's got to be, like like like.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Love, compassion, God, stop guessing love.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
No.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
But it's along those lines empathy, voice. Not everybody can speak.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
You don't have an inner voice, Kristen, but she speaks, yeah, talk?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Is it? Is it empathy?
Speaker 4 (18:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Sympathy?
Speaker 9 (18:50):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Envy? No?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Is it a feeling?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (18:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
What happiness? That's a feeling you.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Who's the piece that this essay the right up that
this came out of the ability to grow to help
you with this answer?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Oh, we all have a phone.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
It was related to technology and mindless scrolling doom scrolling, right.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
But not everybody has a phone. You start with your daughter.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
But I'm just saying, think about the context in which
I've read.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Oh, everybody's got brain rot. Oh, but that's not valuable.
What's the most valuable thing? Oh? The ability to say no?
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Can I tell you birth? Let me first tell you
that Kristin is wrong. It's not birth. Oh, it's laughter
to make us laugh?
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:49):
Is that it?
Speaker 3 (19:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Wait? So wait, what am I guessing? The most valuable thing?
Speaker 3 (19:53):
He's just gonna tell us no, no, But I.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Want to make sure I know what he's going to say.
A word? Was it the most valuable thing we have?
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, community go ahead.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Now you're going back on your own guidance, which was
some people are by themselves question.
Speaker 7 (20:11):
Is it a word or a sentence?
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Doesn't matter? Actually it does, because if it's a word.
Speaker 7 (20:17):
Then I'm like, okay, does it start with a P.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
I'm telling you because I couldn't yell the first one.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
All right, let me tell you, because there's only three
people now waiting for the answer. And I feel like,
even when if you might drop out your undivided attention,
oh good bye, the altar has always been there. The
question is what you've been placing on it, and whether
it's time to choose differently. This is all about taking
(20:52):
back the most valuable undivided attention.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Oh boring. I like that, but I feel like, but.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Every well it's not the most valuable thing, but everybody, Yes,
everybody has it, and everybody should give it.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
All the time.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
But and that's why I said, remember what we were discussing.
Speaker 9 (21:23):
I mean less, I'm on my phone and is Diane
doing herself any favors when it's time to go to
bed and the focus should solely be sleep.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
But it's not, and it's not.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
No.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
I was good last night, though I did start to
scroll and I was like, no, stop it, get away.
Speaker 7 (21:44):
She didn't respond to my text, so that's why I'm like, she.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Didn't even call Crider back.
Speaker 7 (21:48):
I was hoping she was sleeping.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Did you check find mine?
Speaker 7 (21:52):
I knew she made it home. I had asked her,
will you please text me to get home and she
didn't didn't hear from her.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
That's a bitch move.
Speaker 7 (21:58):
It's okay, I forgot it made me think she was
sleeping good.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
No, that's because you can see her to make sure
she made it home.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
No, I know, but Diana doesn't share locations with me.
Speaker 7 (22:10):
I don't share mine with you either.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
No, I know, well, I don't ask.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I remember Kristen shared her with me for a long
time before you do.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
All right, that was good, That was good.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
What was it?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Undivided attention.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yes, that's what we all have. It's the most valuable
thing we all have.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
I'm glad Kristin you were paying it.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
You said one of us was going to drop out.
This one question will change how you use your phone.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And it's not saying you got to get rid of anything.
It's not saying, well that a little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Is this just an exercise where if you feel like
I'm wasting too much time, if you stop and ask
yourself this question, then you can be honest with yourself
and be like, Okay, let me exercise a little self control.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I like how you're thinking.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
I like you tried this approach before.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
I just gonna say, so, here's what I here's what mentally,
here's what I would like you to do, because you're
not doing it literally right now, but here's what it
says to do, and it is it's just ask yourself
this one question, and when you do this will help
(00:48):
you out tremendously. Also, let me ask you this. Let
me before I even get to that. Do you have
your phone with you? Will you unlock it for me?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Please?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Almost sounds like youre's they have a magic trick.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
The let me see your home screen?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Is there already a photo of your penis on your WALLPAPERA?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Are are they organized in any way?
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I hate folders?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
No, I know that, but are they organized?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
The main ones that I use are on the first
two pages pretty much, right, will.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You hold hold your phone off? I'd like to see
you scroll through it.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Okay, So if you, let's say you downloaded and keep
going place, keep going?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Okay, seriously, you all of those those are games? Keep going?
Oh Jesus Christ, what do you have on there?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Last page?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
If you downloaded something? Now?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Mm hmm, would you go in and specifically place it
or just it.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Goes to the bottom of the last.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Page, bottom of the last page, because then when I
needed I know it's the last one there.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Good answer goes?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Right?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Is that how you? And but you spend a lot
of time with your phone?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Right, when you when you at your house, right, you're
pick a room doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Okay, kitchen okay, well how about a room you use?
I am in the kitchen on my laptop quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Living room okay, do you just like did you when
when when it was when when you were setting up
the living room, were you just like, I don't know,
just put the TV there, that's the middle of the room,
and I'll just put the sofa over.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
There and organize it, right, But you don't organize it
your phone for flow?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
You don't know for flow? What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
So you don't want to have like a table that
you're going to trip over?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Right, And you wanted to look a certain way, you
wanted to feel a certain way, right, But you don't
do that with your phone?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
No?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Why not?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I don't know. People aren't coming and sitting on my phone?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
No offense, But how often how you set your living
room up for people to come and sit in it
now or.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
For us to have a comfortable place to hang out?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Absolutely, but you still set it up to look a
certain way?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Do that with your home screen?
Speaker 3 (03:21):
So you is this a whole a campaign for folders?
I hate folders?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
No, I didn't say anything about folders. I didn't say
anything about folders.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
But you you make it sound like, yeah, if I
download something, it just goes right to the end and
that's fine.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah, So if I got what, am I wasting precious
seconds looking for something?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I don't like that attitude. No, do you see what
I mean? This is the problem.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
She doesn't want to shange.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
No, she doesn't.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
The first step is admitting there's a.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Problem, which she did the other.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Day, But then she doesn't when actually confronted with it,
like to embrace a solution. She doesn't want help. She
doesn't mean it's a problem. She doesn't want our help.
She's helpless.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
I don't, I don't. I really don't understand what you're
telling me to do.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Well, what was the question? Do you feel like you
never asked a question?
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Again?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
You asked like ten questions.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
No, but now I'm going to get it to I
have to find it here it is.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
It's on the last page, so it's memorable.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Open your most used social media app. Ask yourself one
question about six of the accounts you follow.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Does this expand me or shrink me?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Okay, expand.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Which one was it? Which one was it?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
No, it's like I opened up Instagram and it's a
good way for me to keep tabs on my kid.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Okay, that's fine. That one. That one expands you.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so everything that, every everything you follow,
every one or person or company.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
You follow with the friends kids?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Is she going one by one here?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
No, I'm just going through the stories that are pumping
up at the top. I gotta keep up with Crider.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
The really is you call them back?
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Not yet?
Speaker 4 (05:11):
I think we answered that one for her it's only.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Been a couple of days. I've been busy, the busy
stranger things.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Oh that, yeah, that that expands you.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
I don't see anything mormful here.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Now it does say, it's not you're not asking yourself.
Is it entertaining? You're not asking yourself? Do I agree
with it? What you're asking yourself?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Is?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
After I engage with this, do I feel more curious,
more grounded, more kind? Or do I feel smaller, more anxious,
more numb.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I can't remember the last time I saw something on
TikTok that I felt kind.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Okay, then you should get rid of it.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Okay, then why don't you get rid of ESPN?
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Is it the whole app or the file?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
This is?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
This is?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
This is because.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
You're getting you're getting up on your your high horse.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I wasn't the one who complained about getting into bed
and then scrolling.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I didn't complain.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
I told you we're at the second step here, and
she does not want toy.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
You just want to pretend that TikTok's great for you.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
No.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I like seeing people acting like fools and getting called
out for it, and.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
That expands you or whatever. His question was, Well, that's
not entertaining.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
That that's pure entertainment.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Right, I'm not asking if it's not making.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Me more curious or grounded or right.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I'm not asking you if it is. I'm just saying,
does it make you? Does it expand you or shrink you?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I don't think laughing at stuff is shrinking me.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
So we're gonna get nowhere with her, and you're not
with me on cleaning up your home screen.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
No, because I told you, like the first two pages
are the ones that I go to the most, and
I kind of know the other ones, like when I
when I want to go to that game, I gotta
flu probably four pages.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
You know, there's another question in here? Where was the
other thing that they were talking about in here? Well,
you you should also remove what drains your energy.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
I say, hear something about a reframing of how you
relate to your phone?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Oh what does that say?
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Every scroll is a prayer. Not in a religious sense.
I know the show.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
We've been very religious me today.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah, we discover it so much. You may think that,
but no, this is in the most literal one. A
prayer is an act of directed attention. You turn towards
something and say this matters every time you open an app,
so I've done a feed or tap a notification. You
perform that action. You are saying to the universe, show
me what is real? Show me what I should care about.
The algorithm answers, and it doesn't have your well being
(08:12):
in mind.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
M H.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
So when you approach the phone with a mentality similar
akin to that, that can certainly make you rethink what
you're doing on it. Open your phone and think about
what I said. Think about prayer. Every scroll is a prayer,
(08:38):
an act of directed attention. You turn towards something and
say this matters. Do you feel like as you're working
your way through your apps? This matters?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
That's a great question.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Okay, what's the classification for me? Just going through and clear?
Nowt email?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
That's different, that's what more of a task? Okay, yes,
we're talking about mindless scrolling?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Okay, right, you know your day of my day?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Sorry ninety five?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah, because I got that time.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
One of the central practices you can return to again
and again is what am I feeding my consciousness?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Garbage?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
The mind, like the body, becomes what it takes in.
Feed it fear and it learns to expect danger. Feed
a comparison, and it forgets what it already has, feed
it outrage, and it loses the ability to sit quietly
with what is.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
By the way, Diane right now is daydreaming about Francine
Kristen is hanging on every word.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
This isn't a call to delete your apps or move
to a monastery. It's something simpler and more radical. Curate
your digital space like a sacred one.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
That gets me to your living room. You put so
much care into how you're living, not not your literal
living room, but in general. You wanted to be decorated
the right way, to have the right pictures.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You're sofa. Where is it in relation to the TV?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
You take such care in that, But this, which is
which is feeding you you don't even care about.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Can't see me changing, you really don't. I can go
through periods where I'm like, okay, you know, stop put
it down. You know you need to you need to
be more productive. You need to do something an hour
and a half now that doesn't happen all the time.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Was the most self care you ever showed yourself on
your phone? I remember, and it goes back a couple
of years, but you did start to block and unfollow
some people. Did that help? Yes, because at that time,
in those moments, did you feel like were you blocking
your phone was upsetting you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
If if I would, if if there were accounts that
I would see that would pop up, and it would
just like it would be like, oh god, eye roll,
I would just block or unfollow, So you don't. You
don't and then within two weeks you forget.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
About them, right, So you don't have those anymore.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
No, I don't think I've got stuff that pisses me
off like that. That's what that means. I may get
stuff forwarded to me.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
You were thinking about what you were feeding your consciousness.
You may not have phrased it that way, but it
was certainly top of mind. Yeah, it was a choice, Dan,
I'm not telling you. I'm agreeing with Oh okay. Yeah,
(11:42):
this has left you confused. It looks like me, Oh no,
you're doing a great job. Ye. No, Diane, Oh yeah, no,
I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Are you?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Are you puzzled right now because you're coming to terms
with the reality of it all, Like how we're gonna
have to take your phone away?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
What am I twelve?
Speaker 4 (12:02):
It's like your keys when you're older, Diane.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
You can't drive anymore, You're done, can't drive your phone anymore? Well,
how can I call Uber? If you have my phone?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
That's essential? That that expands you, That expands you.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Lava says, I agree with all of this. Yes, we're
telling it like it is. Interventions are difficult.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Hi Elliott in the morning.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
Hey, good morning. So they're talking about social media being
unhealthy in a comparison's sake. So the saying is that
you should never compare your behind the scenes to someone
else's highlights.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Huh, that's fair because they say everybody's you know, a
feeds are a highlight reel, right or a.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Best of correct.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
So, like, think about the behind the scenes on a movie,
the bloopers, like all the craft that goes into making
it hysterically, the actual movie is production right. So if
you're thinking of your everyday life, the behind the scenes
and the feed you're seeing from other people is their highlights.
It makes you think, oh, my life is not as.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Great as theirs.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Oh I get that as exciting as theirs, because what
you're seeing is their curated version of their life. So
it tends to just make everybody unhappy with what they
have or what they experience.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Oh, I could see that. I could see that.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Overmind myself of that. Well, my daughter eventually gets a phone.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
There you go, there you go, smell my face.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Hey, smelly good. That's good.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Your highlight reel is there behind the scene.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Your initial reaction to it was.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Well, it had to be explained to me, you know.
But you know what the problem is. But I don't
post anything.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I don't either.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
What is the most valuable thing you have?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Diane?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Wait? We say that again.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
What is the most valuable thing Diane has? And you Elliott,
and you Christen? This is the question for all of
using it.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
But we're not saying like like kids, no, no.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
No, no, no, like a possession. My same answer for everybody.
I just was giving it to Diane because this is her.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
There's no way.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
That my most valuable thing is the same as Diane's.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Well, according to this writer, it.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Is, oh what is it? My heart? Bread?
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Christen? She looks like she does the what is the
most thing you have? Kristen?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Your brain? It's going to be some stupid answer like that.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
I guarantee. My my first guess isn't right, Cooter, what
was yours house? No? But that there's different. It's like,
is it the most most valuable thing you own? Or
is it something that you value?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
An unhoused person would say the same answer.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
No, they wouldn't.
Speaker 7 (14:52):
I would like to have a roof over.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Their head, Kristin, What is the most valuable thing you have?
Speaker 7 (14:59):
I don't love to be materialistic?
Speaker 8 (15:02):
No, it's one of those if if a homeless person
and Diane both have it, you know, it's like love
or compassion, it's like some emotion.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
No, if it's something that all of us have each other,
Oh god, no, there's a lot of people are loaners,
not the four of us.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Well, again, this answer is supposed to be universal love.
It's not love.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Is it just a life?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You got it? Elliott?
Speaker 3 (15:35):
What a pet?
Speaker 8 (15:36):
We all got to everybody has pets, Chris, No, but
it's every bit universal.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Everybody is going to say that over is the answer.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
By the way, you know what today is the anniversary.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Of, yes, our trip to Disney.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Huh oh two years?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
And what happened on this day in two thousand and seven?
Speaker 7 (15:57):
I had just graduated high school.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Well, I got it. No, put Molson down.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
What made you think of that?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Oh, it's in my calendar. Why I got an alert?
I got an alert for that?
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Have you been dismissing it for nineteen years?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
And dinner reservation? I got an alert for both today
the no, no, no anyway, But why is that in
your calendar?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Just so I remember it? Every year?
Speaker 7 (16:22):
I have anniversaries of like people passing in my calendar.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
This is a pet because you need to maybe reach
out to family or friend, correct, I want to? Yeah, Elliott,
I told Jackie, Oh, he doesn't care, so she didn't know.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Maybe it's not in her calendar. You don't have who
you don't have the day that Thompson died? I do not.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I know, like the gotcha days or whatever they say
when you adopt.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Oh, I couldn't tell you a gotcha day for any
of my animals, you know, the shotsha days. All right,
let me get back to what everybody loves? No, no, no, no,
what's what is?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
What is?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Give me the phrasing, the most valuable thing? You have?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
The most valuable thing? I have family? No, not everybody
has family. There's plenty of people who don't have family.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
So Elliott is on the right track.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Yes, because it's not like cap season tickets.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
First, No, it's one of those like love.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
So I say, that is it? It's not life?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
No, and it's not love. Stop saying love.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
No, But it's like it's an emotion. No, but it's
like that. It's like that liberty and what did you
just say?
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Justice? You look around and think this is a just society.
It is not.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Well, what does everybody have? The most valuable thing that
everybody has?
Speaker 7 (17:54):
At first I got Tyler, what the four of us have?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
But this is universe?
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
I thought it meant the studio that everybody has a shirt.
And you're right, that's not the correct answer.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Okay, so it's not let's.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Not play Diane's game. And there's only one answer.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
He ask those people in the Daily Mail in their loin.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Cloths, don't contact them, don't contact them.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
No.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
But that's where it's got to be, like like like.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Love, compassion, God, stop guessing love.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
No.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
But it's along those lines empathy, voice. Not everybody can speak.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
You don't have an inner voice, Kristen, but she speaks, yeah, talk?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Is it? Is it empathy?
Speaker 4 (18:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Sympathy?
Speaker 9 (18:50):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Envy? No?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Is it a feeling?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (18:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
What happiness? That's a feeling you.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Who's the piece that this essay the right up that
this came out of the ability to grow to help
you with this answer?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Oh, we all have a phone.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
It was related to technology and mindless scrolling doom scrolling, right.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
But not everybody has a phone. You start with your daughter.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
But I'm just saying, think about the context in which
I've read.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Oh, everybody's got brain rot. Oh, but that's not valuable.
What's the most valuable thing? Oh? The ability to say no?
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Can I tell you birth? Let me first tell you
that Kristin is wrong. It's not birth. Oh, it's laughter
to make us laugh?
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:49):
Is that it?
Speaker 3 (19:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Wait? So wait, what am I guessing? The most valuable thing?
Speaker 3 (19:53):
He's just gonna tell us no, no, But I.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Want to make sure I know what he's going to say.
A word? Was it the most valuable thing we have?
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, community go ahead.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Now you're going back on your own guidance, which was
some people are by themselves question.
Speaker 7 (20:11):
Is it a word or a sentence?
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Doesn't matter? Actually it does, because if it's a word.
Speaker 7 (20:17):
Then I'm like, okay, does it start with a P.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
I'm telling you because I couldn't yell the first one.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
All right, let me tell you, because there's only three
people now waiting for the answer. And I feel like,
even when if you might drop out your undivided attention,
oh good bye, the altar has always been there. The
question is what you've been placing on it, and whether
it's time to choose differently. This is all about taking
(20:52):
back the most valuable undivided attention.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Oh boring. I like that, but I feel like, but.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Every well it's not the most valuable thing, but everybody, Yes,
everybody has it, and everybody should give it.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
All the time.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
But and that's why I said, remember what we were discussing.
Speaker 9 (21:23):
I mean less, I'm on my phone and is Diane
doing herself any favors when it's time to go to
bed and the focus should solely be sleep.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
But it's not, and it's not.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
No.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
I was good last night, though I did start to
scroll and I was like, no, stop it, get away.
Speaker 7 (21:44):
She didn't respond to my text, so that's why I'm like, she.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Didn't even call Crider back.
Speaker 7 (21:48):
I was hoping she was sleeping.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Did you check find mine?
Speaker 7 (21:52):
I knew she made it home. I had asked her,
will you please text me to get home and she
didn't didn't hear from her.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
That's a bitch move.
Speaker 7 (21:58):
It's okay, I forgot it made me think she was
sleeping good.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
No, that's because you can see her to make sure
she made it home.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
No, I know, but Diana doesn't share locations with me.
Speaker 7 (22:10):
I don't share mine with you either.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
No, I know, well, I don't ask.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I remember Kristen shared her with me for a long
time before you do.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
All right, that was good, That was good.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
What was it?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Undivided attention.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yes, that's what we all have. It's the most valuable
thing we all have.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
I'm glad Kristin you were paying it.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
You said one of us was going to drop out.
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