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May 21, 2026 34 mins
We continue the roast, talk to Gary Spivey, and more!

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who This is a lot. Wow. Look at you. It
don't make songs long anymore. No, no problem. Wow.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
We are here at the Rotunda Mall of America, the
Dave Ryan I keep wanting to say anniversary show. It's
been thirty three years, almost exactly, and so many people
have come by, and I've got to tell you this
is I've never ever ever been to anything where people
were looking at me and not waiting for me to
introduce Maroon five, or introduce Jessica Simpson or introduce you

(00:29):
know whoever. And so thank you for this. It is
a little bit overwhelming, and I'm trying to kind of
soak it in. It's kind of like your wedding day.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
I don't know what that's like.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yeah, you'll none of us up here. You'll never know, Jenny,
You'll never know.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
We've got people with signs. I just saw the Hiram
sign up in the air here a second ago.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (00:47):
Yeah, Dave plus Hiram is greater than everything else. Yes,
there's also some other ones out there too.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Is there a justice for vault on anywhere? No, boy,
this isn't about you.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
There's also Dave.

Speaker 5 (00:58):
There's twenty eight hundred people in the life stream and
counting and counting.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
That's crazy because we usually get about fifteen. Yeah, absolutely crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
True. Do we have chris Go on the phone?

Speaker 4 (01:07):
But if the technology works correct, I believe we have
Chrisco on the phone.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yes, they're ready. Chrisco.

Speaker 6 (01:13):
Are you there?

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Hey body?

Speaker 6 (01:16):
What's going on? Everybody? Now?

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Everybody can hear you. You can hear Chris Go? Right, okay, gotcha.
Chrisco and I met back in two thousand ish, is
that right?

Speaker 6 (01:29):
Yes, it was two thousand and two.

Speaker 7 (01:31):
I just got done with school and started at Brown College.
You know how successful that school is doing now? And
uh yeah, eleven years later we were part of something awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Chrisco was just one of those people who's like, you know,
he came as an intern, and you know, he was
lazy as hell.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
He sat around doing nothing most of the time.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
He would he would do this, Chrisco would scratch his
back on the wall like a bear rubbin on a tree,
and he would say Family got you guys watch Family
Guy last night? Like Chrisco, we're trying to concentrate, We're
trying to help so but you have some memories of
the Dave Ryan Show over the years that you might
want to pass along.

Speaker 6 (02:07):
Oh.

Speaker 7 (02:08):
I mean, there's so many that I could go on
and on and on for the rest of your show.
But it's not about me today. It's about you, Dave,
and congratulations on thirty three years and one of my
favorite memories. And I'm sure intern John has probably already
shared it. But I was the one who drove the
vehicle all the time. I don't know how they trusted
me as the laziest human being.

Speaker 6 (02:28):
In that station's history. Yeah, you drive the station.

Speaker 7 (02:31):
Vehicle, but I am the one who drove it to
a Christmas wish and got it stuck in the ditch
and the fish that was granted the person had to
help me pull.

Speaker 6 (02:39):
The vehicle out out of the ditch in the middle.

Speaker 7 (02:43):
Of like a tragic moment for them, and it's sad
and everyone's crying, and I'm like, just not.

Speaker 6 (02:48):
To be that guy, but I need to get out
of the ditch so I can get out of.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Uh too funny, chrisco I was telling him last night
because we all had dinner last night. It was probably
the most inappropriate, filthy off of all time.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Uh. And I told Chris Boy, said, you are one of.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
The nicest, funniest, warmest, friendliest people ever, and and that
covers for the fact that you have literally no talent.
But you are such a funny girl and I just
love you. I just love you, and you're doing great
things with your life on another radio station, and you know,
people know that you exist. It's not like if I
don't mention the other radio station, people won't know. But

(03:24):
I'm not going to mention it because you know, they
got their own budget.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
What's it like to have a budget?

Speaker 7 (03:30):
Ye, it's pretty wild. Like we have a cafeteria here,
which I'm like a cafeteria.

Speaker 6 (03:38):
We have a car table, it's pretty amazing.

Speaker 7 (03:42):
Well we don't have a card table. We actually have
real tables here. So it's pretty sweet.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
And I'm go ahead.

Speaker 6 (03:49):
Oh no, I was just.

Speaker 7 (03:50):
Gonna say I I'm so honored to be on with
you guys, and I'm going to be heading to the
mall at nine o'clock, so I'm going to be on
my way to see you guys too.

Speaker 6 (03:58):
But I mean, I will say, Dave.

Speaker 7 (04:00):
I'm sorry that you had to work with me for
the ten and a half years of me being pure
lazy because I didn't really start getting work ethic until
I left.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
I know, I know they're a story of your story.

Speaker 6 (04:11):
You deserve better.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Now you know what it's you know, I gotta tell you,
charm wins over talent and nobility and ambition every time.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Chris go, I'll be at your building later on today.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
I'm gonna be at your building later on today because
I'm gonna be on the afternoon show the The Twin City.
So yeah, so I'm gonna be on later on this
afternoon with Liz and very much.

Speaker 6 (04:36):
Yeah. No, he's fine, He's whatever.

Speaker 7 (04:38):
I mean, it's fine. I do want to say, Dave,
and I know you guys got plenty of stuff going
on there and lots of people showing all.

Speaker 6 (04:46):
The love for you because you deserve it.

Speaker 7 (04:48):
But it's not lost on me that I'm not sitting
at this table in this station, on this show without you,
as so many people could stay because you you are
an institution Minnesota and you will never be forgotten. You're
going to go into the Broadcasting Hall of Fame, where
you absolutely deserve to be. And it wasn't just a pleasure.
It was some of the funniest past moments I've been

(05:10):
a part of and had a chance to be a
part of my career and now I'm stuck with you,
so thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah yeah, that west guy who actually used to work
at KDWB And I remember when was Des was brand new.
She moved here from some podunk town in Montana and
she came here to do some appearance at Mall of America,
and every male DJ in town was like, who's that
girl over there? Who's who she's case? She's kind of hot,

(05:36):
and I'm like, stop it. So shout out to you guys.
Love you guys, Love you Chrisco, and thanks for taking
the time.

Speaker 6 (05:44):
Oh, thank you so much. Dave. Congratulations And I'll be
down to them.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
All soon, all right, love you Chrisco.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Thank you, that lazy bastard worthless worth We did it.
We did a focused group one time, and we were
all supposed to go around the room and tell, like,
you know, get me three words that describe Dave, give
me three words that describe Lena, give me three words
that describe Steve. And the words we all agreed on
for Crisco were fat, dumb, and can't read.

Speaker 3 (06:14):
Poor man.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
All right, Okay, I think we're going to just take
a quick break and then we're going to wrap up.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
The roast once again. We still have well extreme Jamie's
gonna come to a few jokes as well. And then
we saw Steve Lena and intern John oh Brother.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
So it gets ugly.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yeah, coming up next live from the Ball of America
with kat.

Speaker 6 (06:33):
Say that you will be missed, Katie.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
W B will not be the same in the morning
without you, The Dave Ryan Show on k d w B.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
Hey, Jamie, do you hear that the American Cancer Society
is very happy?

Speaker 1 (06:47):
No?

Speaker 5 (06:48):
Stop it, that's that's absolutely.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Extreme.

Speaker 4 (06:53):
Jamie is Yeah, we are going to continue with this
roast here because we still got a few members the
left of the show and not nice Smester streame Jamie.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 8 (07:05):
My pants finally dried, by the way, Okay, good Yeah,
out of context, that sounds weird. Yeah, okay, mine will
be brief here.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
God when does this get funny?

Speaker 8 (07:17):
So Dave, first off, I just have to say thank
you so much. I owe a lot of my professional
career to you. You were like a father to me
and daddy daddy, but honestly you you were like a
father figure to me, and I appreciate all the things
I learned but just so you know, when you started,
Google didn't exist.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
It is true.

Speaker 8 (07:38):
Facebook didn't exist, smartphones didn't exist, and nearly did half
the listeners exist.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
No, it's true. Yeah it is.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Anybody here younger than thirty three years old, yeah, there
we go you yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (07:52):
Also, by the way, I think it is now finally
time to retire your AOL address.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Nope, I love it. Nothing says your whole like an
AOL ad. I do have an ail address, yes, yeah.

Speaker 8 (08:02):
And by the way, to go viral actually was a virus?

Speaker 1 (08:05):
It was, yes, it was. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (08:08):
So finally, you know your book was amazing, Right, it's
about taking a shower, showing up in time, and don't steal.
I at least got one of those, right, I'm not
sure about the other two, But Dave, it's been truly
an honor to work with you for seven years. Was
amazing and I appreciate the opportunity. And oh, one last
thing I want to admit. Do you remember the bit

(08:29):
where I was handcuffed to Jay the mortician for twenty
four hours?

Speaker 6 (08:32):
I do?

Speaker 8 (08:33):
Yeah, yeah, we found a cop and unhandcuffed ourselves. You hey,
I love you man, all.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Right, give it up for extreme Jamie everybody.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
I gotta get his attention, and it usually takes about five
minutes for him to hear anything. Stephen Latart, Steve Latart,
are you in the building?

Speaker 1 (08:57):
No, get no up here, you'll get ready.

Speaker 4 (09:01):
Oh boy, here comes the one and only Steve O.

Speaker 5 (09:06):
They're gonna want to head to YouTube Dave Ryan TV
for this one.

Speaker 4 (09:14):
Oh god, what do you have there?

Speaker 3 (09:19):
A nice little glitter jack.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
This cactus brought.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
We were the Cactus Brothers one time for a brief moment,
his Cactus Brothers glitter.

Speaker 6 (09:28):
Yo.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
He's talking about here. We're worried about doing here, Bailey?
Are we ready?

Speaker 6 (09:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (09:34):
We're ready? What are we doing? A little roast?

Speaker 9 (09:37):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (09:38):
Is that what we're doing? You could be drunk.

Speaker 9 (09:41):
Oh god, guys, I don't know about this one because
I know if I'm prepared. But guess what homeboys got
receipts seats.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Oh this is good news. Maybe I should stand up
for this.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Oh dear lord, Oh ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 9 (09:56):
I'm Steve from Rogers, Minnesota, home of Klub Roadhouse and Kabela's.
My favorite music of a moment is when Dave Ryan
tries to sing like fun and he sounds like.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Kermit the Frog.

Speaker 9 (10:11):
Dave really is aging like Lady Elane Fairchild.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
It's amazing to see.

Speaker 9 (10:17):
If you don't understand that reference, look up Lady Elaine Fairchild.
You'll see a puppet that's Dave Ryan.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
I honestly don't know.

Speaker 9 (10:26):
A lot of people ask me how old is Dave?
Don't know what I honestly do is. I look up
one was jfk assassinated add two years and that's about right.
When I heard Dave was gonna retire. I was actually
kind of shocked, more nervous for Susan than anybody else,
because you know that Dave loves a hobby. Dave model
trains are a gateway drug to carving magic and wanting

(10:50):
to be a pilot. What kind of nerd would do that?
So this is the real question that I think, thirty
three years in radio in the Twin City, how did
you not get me to sign an NDA? You stupid mother.
Don't get me wrong. You know as much things and
stuff and rumors and things about me as I know

(11:12):
about you, and we'll take it to the day we die,
because we're what blood brothers, Yeah yeah, yeah, blood brothers,
but for real, as an individual who worked with Dave
Ryan for fifteen years.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
I had the distinct privilege of.

Speaker 9 (11:24):
Spending nearly five grand with a wonderful therapist named Jenny
shell Shock, PTSD, and fibromyalgia are all diagnosis given to
some of Dave's former coworkers. Fun fact crushing right now.
Just you guys know I'm crushing. You might not all
be laughing, but we are also working with Dave will.

(11:48):
Actually working with Dave will make you realize that Britney
Spears actually does need a conservator.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Chef.

Speaker 9 (11:55):
Dave Ryan was a scout. It's a well known and
established fact. Got motto is be prepared, which is why
I'm selling fifteen years of email corresponds with Dave Ryan
to the highest bidder today. I have a child that
needs to go to college. You thought the Epstein files
were sillacious, Wait till you get your eyes on the
Ryan files. Daven some of the keywords to be searching

(12:18):
for goodaboll, who's in truth?

Speaker 1 (12:24):
And bitch hits. You're gonna have to do that later.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
Girl.

Speaker 9 (12:29):
First time I spoke with the radio, I'm almost done.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
No.

Speaker 9 (12:32):
First time I spoke to Dave Ryan, the family had
just finished dinner.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
This is actually a very true story. First time I
ever talked to Dave Ryan.

Speaker 9 (12:38):
I was living in Rochester, New York, as I had Applebee's.
I was sitting there. Dave called me, and this is
for real. The only thing I remember about the conversation
is that on that day he is busy, he skipped dinner.
He was working on the show, and Carson was four
or five at the time and had climbed up on
Dave's lap and said, we haven't done this in years.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's true, that's true. That's a true thing. Carson said,
where is Carson? Is he here? Yeah, he's here, dude.

Speaker 9 (13:05):
I don't know what's up with all the paper clips
on his pants, but that's for later. You see the
kid him, I hugged him. I call him hey, bitch.
So anyway, uh so, uh there's Carson. Hey Carson, Love you, buddy.
So that moment taught me one thing. It was an
important lesson. Dave taught me everything I know about putting

(13:27):
work before everything else, including your family.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
So thank you for that lesson, Dave. Ryan.

Speaker 9 (13:33):
Took me a minute to get to the punchline on that. Sorry,
I got psych tracked. It's not my fault. It's not
my first time.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Okay.

Speaker 9 (13:39):
So Dave has also supported creativity and new ideas his
whole entire life.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Uh. He would also give credit to other people.

Speaker 9 (13:46):
That's the thing about David is that he's always been
a generous person. But I want to set the record
straight on a few things. The story about me changing
my daughter Olivia his diaper on a Cariboo table was
Dave's idea. Eye lie, Dave's idea for Crisco misspelling baby

(14:10):
rapper on the website, Oh no, baby rapping on the
website and dropping a pee that was Dave's idea. Also
Dave's idea a parody song called thirty Monks in the House.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Okay.

Speaker 9 (14:24):
Also, let's list of his grand accomplishments over thirty three years.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
You can't get fired, bitch.

Speaker 9 (14:31):
Let's go over some of his grand accomplishments over the
last thirty three years.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
He got two people arrested. We talked about that, the
Booty Cruise.

Speaker 9 (14:37):
He helped Gary Spivey make enough money to buy a
yacht Pancocky, which, if you don't know what Pancocky is,
it's exactly like Bootcocky, but with pancake batter but you
get and instead of like, never mind, you get the
rest of the joke.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Sorry, I fell over it. I'm almost done, just let
me finish.

Speaker 9 (14:56):
Dave's also known for hiring great people. There's Fallin, Lena Corey,
Angie Girth is here.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Chrisco, all these people.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
This is a guy that has.

Speaker 9 (15:09):
An eye for talent. You have an eye for talent.
He even hired a guy who sued Taylor Swift for
three million dollars because he lost his job.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
The guy went on.

Speaker 9 (15:21):
To actually get sued back and then arrested for assault.
That's a guy that Dave Ryan hired. Look it up online.
All right, he knows talent.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Rest in peace. Uh, there's just a couple last things.

Speaker 9 (15:34):
I want to say. These are things that I will
always have in my mind when I think Dave Ryan.
He always says you can't until you can. It's on
his refrigerator. It's something that I've said to my children
for years. He's also said they grow up fast, but
not that fast, which is I didn't understand at the time,
but he's right. And he also said shut up and listened.

(16:00):
So I just wanted to close with this. I really
do have a lot of emails, and I wanted to
read an email that he sent to Lena, intern John
and I in twenty seventeen, and just to give you
all context and for the people here context, it was
the day that Lucas got in a car accident with
a deer. So on that email, Dave's wrote this. We

(16:25):
had a great time in New York City.

Speaker 10 (16:27):
Honestly the best I've ever had in a long time.
Alison loved it too. We bought fake purses, fake watches,
went on a carriage ride together. I made the mistake
of tweeting about it the whole time, so I pretty
much missed it. We had sushi, had a tiny little
place in Soho, which felt so New York for someone
from Colorado. The Radio City Christmas Show was really amazing.

(16:49):
It was spectacular. I thought it was going to be lame.
I couldn't believe how many people go to see the
Big Tree.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
It's amazing.

Speaker 9 (16:55):
And the ice at Rockefeller Plaza is tiny. And Alison
was so nice, but of course on the way home
she bitched at me for pulling my card out too
slowly at the airport parking lot.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Ah.

Speaker 9 (17:08):
Well, the magic had to end sometime, and that's What
I wanted to kind of say is that the magic
had to end some time, and I'm happy.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
That you.

Speaker 9 (17:20):
Were basically the magician that did it.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
Oh thanks, thanks see.

Speaker 9 (17:24):
So my final word to Dave Ryan, I love you.
I trust you more than anything in the world. He's
the person that I know that if anything ever happened,
I could call him and he would actually show up.
And I want you to know that you're a giant, pussy.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Cold drop that Steven.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
This is why we didn't.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Okay, everybody, everybody knows I told you last night.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
Who are we worried about? Who are we worried about? Here?
We are at Mall of America. We're never gonna be.
We'll never be.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
I won't be allowed to shop here anymore. I'm gonna
have to go to Harmar Mall after this. Is that
even open anymore?

Speaker 6 (18:11):
Nobody?

Speaker 1 (18:11):
I think there's stores in there. We're gonna shop?

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Oh my gosh, Well.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Fallon, are you shocked? You're crying? You're shot crying?

Speaker 3 (18:20):
Any of them are shocked?

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Wow, stun the crowd into silence.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
Falan says he did better than I thought.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Okay, who's going who's gonna We're gonna We're gonna take
a break, though, Taks.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
We can keep rolling if we want riches here though
he might yell.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
At we better take a break. We'll take a break.
We'll come back with who's gonna roast next?

Speaker 3 (18:43):
We'll have Lena up next.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Okay, Lena coming up next on the live show from
Mall of America, coming right back on kd w B.

Speaker 5 (18:53):
Right if you're watching on YouTube, I can't express how
many people might be in the rotun right now.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
Can y'all make some noise?

Speaker 8 (19:04):
Nah?

Speaker 5 (19:04):
Not good enough? Can y'all make some noise for Dave
Ryan one more time?

Speaker 1 (19:08):
Here we're going. It's one of one point three kny
WB live at the Rotunda for the Dave Ryan Show.
Farewells to broadcasting her.

Speaker 4 (19:18):
You still mean like we have an hour and a
half left of this point the show tomorrow?

Speaker 1 (19:21):
What I miss Jenny now much.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
We're just gonna get right back into the roast in
action because we still have not gotten.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Done with it.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
We want to bring Gary Spivey up on stage for
a minute. Please welcome to the the Mall of America stage,
the world's most gifted Psycha.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Gary's by Gary. Here you go. There's a microphone. There
you go, Gary.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
It has been such a great first thing. Gary's got this.
When you meet him, you gotta be careful. You gotta
be careful. You gotta be aware of yourself. And you
can't stare at his hair because you can't.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Can't.

Speaker 11 (19:57):
She's Dave, you're staring at my hair again, staring at
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Gary Spivey is going to be doing like readings back
over here in the back in a little while, is
that right?

Speaker 6 (20:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Good, good, good, good good. But let's find out. We
want to know the future of some of the people
here on the show. Okay, So Jenny, I predict that
she's going to die alone, single and child.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
How dare you?

Speaker 2 (20:21):
I'm just following the evidence. What what do you see
for Jenny? I actually see her.

Speaker 11 (20:27):
I see her with this australe you and that's pretty
you know. And so he's sort of he's sort of
like a man hooker, if you would. But but it's okay, yeah,
because I see you meeting a rich man through him.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
So, Dames, she's gonna marry money. Oh good, okay, good,
there we are.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Because the the Australian guys like unemployed. He needs Janie
to fly her over and fly over here. Let's take
a look over at Bailey. Bailey also on the alone, Alone,
single child.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
She's a.

Speaker 6 (21:03):
Man.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
What do you see for Bailey? Well, she's gonna do
really well. I see her learning to cook. No, Mary,
you've lost your touch. No, she's gonna learn to cook.

Speaker 11 (21:18):
And I see her being a really happy housewife. And
and so this is you know, I see see that
you don't like that idea to good right, okay, but
you know she's gonna find her true lover though. I
see you finding your soulmate, thank you. But he is
really big on you know, like the little woman cooking.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
So she gets to learn how wrong girl?

Speaker 9 (21:44):
Right?

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Wrong girl?

Speaker 4 (21:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (21:46):
So I don't know if.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
Hey, little woman, can you make me a shandwitch? And
let's look over here at.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Vaughan because Vaunt is engaged and he's gonna get married
in the next couple of years.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
So what do you see. Is that gonna last bliss well, yes, yeah,
it really will, blissful happiness. Okay, yeah, soul made. What
about her though? What about her not so much? Yeah? No,
but no she's happy too. Oh thank god, they're in love.

Speaker 3 (22:17):
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. We're not done yet.
What do we see for Dave Ryan for anything?

Speaker 1 (22:21):
How many more years does you have? Oh, son of
a son of a biscuit.

Speaker 3 (22:26):
He's trying to figure out how to say it nicely?

Speaker 1 (22:30):
What was that? Years? Years? Should I sit down? Probably?
Oh no? Oh uh uh, I see it's take it
a long time. He doesn't know. He's like, how do
I put this nicely?

Speaker 6 (22:45):
You know?

Speaker 1 (22:45):
I actually see you doing TV? Really? Yeah, you don't
want to like watching TV.

Speaker 11 (22:51):
Yeah, you're gonna be you know, drunk watching TV. But
I see you. I see you actually watching, not watching.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
I see you doing TV.

Speaker 5 (22:59):
Like playing a villain in a horror movie because his face.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, no, he's good.

Speaker 3 (23:03):
He won't need a mask or makeup. It's funny because
I said that joking, and Bon just said it again.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
But I said it louder, and I'm a man.

Speaker 11 (23:11):
You got two big things going on, two huge things
that you don't.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
Know about, well one you kind of know about another thing.

Speaker 11 (23:18):
And you're not wanting to do anything because I know
you want to just not do anything.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
But I see you doing stuff. Okay, You're gonna get
bored in about three.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Weeks, okay, and you're gonna think, what the hell this sucks?

Speaker 1 (23:30):
And so I see you doing really great.

Speaker 11 (23:32):
But I do see TV though, television and more video
projects and things.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
Okay, very good, thank you, Gary.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
So go see Gary Spivey over here. He's doing reading
you guys, Gary Spikey. Everybody, don't stare in his hair.
Don't stare his hair. I got you, Gary, I got you.

Speaker 6 (23:48):
Gary.

Speaker 3 (23:49):
Down, sit down, I'm gon getting nervous for you.

Speaker 5 (23:52):
Somebody texted texted in saying, oh my god, Gary, I
did not expect a Southern psychic Elton John.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
All right, we're gonna get back into the roast, though,
because we have saved some of the best for last,
even though some might argue that was Steve Letart, but
we're gonna be getting a lot of trouble with him,
so we had to get him out of the way.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
Up next, give it up for you want it only Lena,
that's it. Oh she's so beautiful, she's beauty and she's grace. Fine,
you're recording yourself. Okay, there you go.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
Goodness, how at all you need to bring?

Speaker 2 (24:27):
You have more stuff you need to bring up here
on stage, Lena.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
Everyone knows you gotta bring what you gotta bring race.

Speaker 12 (24:33):
So by have my journal, I have my phone, I
have my lip gloss, and then I have my two beverages,
because you got to have at least two beverages at
all times.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yes, at all times.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
Hi, everybody, Hi, everybody, Thank you for having.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Me back, Thanks for coming back.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Thank you for applauding. To fill in an awkward silence.

Speaker 12 (24:50):
So I was instructed to write roast jokes, and I
don't know how to do that. So I'm just gonna
say some things that I feel about you, and some
of them will be funny and mean, but some of
them won't, and then we'll exactly this is right, Okay.
So I do want to say, Dave, there's something that's
so special about you that people have already sort of

(25:10):
touched on, which is that you are really good at
finding people who you know will be good at a job,
even if no one else knows it, Like I think
most people know that. I was plucked out of a
bank and I banked for a couple of years, and
then you were like, I think you can do this.
I emailed you and I was like I would like
to try, and you brought me.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
In for an off air interview.

Speaker 12 (25:32):
Because you didn't know if I even had command of English,
and you said, this will take ten minutes, and you
and I ended up talking for over an hour. And
that was the moment that I was like, God, I
hope I get this job because it was it was
so special. And then we had lunch with Rob Morris

(25:53):
to like offer the they were going to offer the
job to me, and me, being super naive and never
having been to like a business lunch before, I offered
to pay for the lunch and Rob said that this
was the first time anyone had offered to pay for
their own offer lunch for business. And then you went

(26:16):
on a trip somewhere unimportant that I don't remember because
it's not about me. And then you came back with
this little pink like stone and you had thought of
me and you bought it and it's a little skull
and I'm wearing it right now.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
And it's this little skull.

Speaker 12 (26:34):
And that was the first moment that I was like, oh,
Dave sees me, like he gets who I am and
it's okay. And that's something that's so special about you
is that you let people be who they are and
you're fine with it, and then it gives everyone else
the permission to be who you are, Like, do you

(26:55):
guys feel that with this, Like he's been able to
make everyone feel like it's okay to be who you
are because you're a giant nerd. Like, so you, like
you have this amazing career, but also you have managed
to raise a family, host a show, have a marriage,
and also take up the dumbest hobbies like longboarding and

(27:17):
magic and like a lot of people have have recently
used the word like iconic to talk about you, which
is so nice. Now that we've talked about the retirement
and everything, and that's so nice, and you are iconic.
Also Bigfoot is iconic, and like Pepa Pig is iconic,
and they're also not very good at radio, but like

(27:39):
we love them for who.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
They are and it's great.

Speaker 12 (27:42):
But I just want to say, like, congratulations on going
out on your own terms. That's not something that people
in radio get to do very often, right.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Right wouch.

Speaker 12 (27:57):
Usually it means that like if you aren't on the
radio anymy where you've just disappeared and no one talks
about you ever again, the audience is just supposed to
forget that you ever existed and we don't remember you,
so like this is. This is such a huge accomplishment,
and I hope you realize how special you are. And
I hope that Steve O burns the hard drive he
has because all of us are in so much trouble

(28:19):
if he doesn't burn.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
The hard drive that he has.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
Very true.

Speaker 12 (28:22):
I love you, I'm proud of you, Thank you for
having me back, thank you for giving me my very
first job in entertainment. And I love you desperately, and
I hope that I get to be in your life
and whatever capacity that is.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
You are very sweet.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
I remember that skull, and this time Lena will leave
with warning, so that's gonna be kind of unique. Yeah,
that's gonna be kind of nice.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
But now, all right, give it up everybody for Lena Sensin.
I know this has been going on for five hours,
so you still have one person left. And we saved
him for last because apparently he does comedy.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Well, here's here's the problem, Intern John, since he got fired,
he's not usually up this early.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
So oh.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
Can't roast him yet.

Speaker 4 (29:12):
We need him first, Okay, intern John, gets your ass
up here.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
Come on, give it up, Come on.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Take your time, time, take your time.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
You want to stand up for it?

Speaker 4 (29:26):
Oh boy, I don't like when you guys are standing
Is he the last one? I hope I've been wa
part two after him?

Speaker 1 (29:38):
No more Steve Hi. Everybody. My name is intern John.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
Yeah, you can follow me on Instagram at intern John Radio.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
That's at intern John Radio.

Speaker 5 (29:50):
It's an honor to be here with the current cast
of The Dave Ryan Show former cast as well.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
The cool thing I'll be on Dave's show.

Speaker 5 (29:57):
We're like a family, you know, we're all Dave's hits
and looking around is clear.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
I've always been Allison the favorite, shut up.

Speaker 5 (30:07):
Boom well love about Dave Show though he's always had
such strong women on the show, like amazingly strong women
currently obviously, but the legends of Pass, Lee Vallsbick, Hall
of Famer, he Round Plash, Lee, Tory Fowley doing radio
across the country, Angie Taylor, Conqueror Chicago, Lena Conqeror New
York City, and Fallon's gonna be working at ye old

(30:30):
Mill this summer at the same fare. Very exciting, very
excited for Fello.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Dave Ryan.

Speaker 5 (30:38):
How can he roast a guy that literally had sex
with a nerf ball and somebody named Cricket.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Day's been doing this so long.

Speaker 5 (30:48):
His first Christmas wish was to end the Civil War,
and we thank you for that.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
One of my favorite Dave bits.

Speaker 5 (30:56):
Dave bought Bob Barker's old prices right microphone. Very excited. Yeah,
and honor Bob Barker. Dave did spade and.

Speaker 9 (31:03):
Neuter his pet, Crisco, and we thank you for that.
I swore I wouldn't get emotional. I'm gonna try to
keep it together.

Speaker 5 (31:14):
But I was seventeen years old when Dave Ryan first groomed,
I mean, hired me.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
I remember my.

Speaker 5 (31:26):
Parents were like, John, this is a little weird. You're
a young older guy. I'm like, what's weird about a
middle aged man who likes airplanes, magic and booty cruise.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
Dave's best trick was getting you guys listened to this
show for thirty three years. Let's be honest.

Speaker 5 (31:44):
Dave had stolen so much money from the radio station.
His next career is a Minnesota politician.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
Ooh, that's a funny joke.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Unless you stole money yourselves, you can laugh. It's Nashville News.
We all know a fun fact about Dave.

Speaker 5 (32:00):
In the last thirty three years, Dave's had more baby
mamas than Minnesota's won professional championships. And because of that, Dave,
you became a slut for money. Most people beg for
cash the respectful way in university in ninety four days.
I'm begging for cash on KWB for like three decades. Honestly, Dave,

(32:23):
what company? If you not endorsed? If this was nineteen tens,
Dave Ryan would endorse Titanic. Hey it's Dave had an
amazing cruise in Titanic. Use my code Dave free ice
bath or too soon?

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Too soon? Somebody here or there was the eighties.

Speaker 5 (32:44):
Hey it's Dave Ryan went up your skincare game, go Chernobyl,
use my code, Dave your Skimmell RADI.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
Eight It's true saying yeah, excited to be here.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
I got laid off so to day cab this party
so speaking a child hair, Dave, this child decent care.
So But in all seriousness, Dave knew his time to
retire when his pubes started to look like Gary Spivey's hair.
That's when he knew it's time to go. But in
all seriousness, Dave's a legend you changed my life. You

(33:17):
change everybody on your show's life.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
And Minnesota is a better placep than Dave Ryan.

Speaker 5 (33:21):
So and honored to be here for Dave Ryan, everybody
the grace ever do it.

Speaker 4 (33:31):
Good job, John Intern, John Radio on Instagram, John Radio,
follow him.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
He's unemployed, right, what's your length? And share that that
wraps up your rose.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
Wow, that was and and and that was amazing and
I and I can't I still can't believe Steve said
the P word.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
Sexting in and they're like, well that didn't get dropped
on iHeart radio, So.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
I her radio is one thing. But hopefully you know, okay,
mall of America will never never be here again.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
So this was a lot of fun.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
I think we should probably take a little bit of
a break. We're gonna come back with a magical hour,
number four of the Day Ryan Show.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
What are we gonna do? Anything good? Coming up?

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Anything good? I'm going to miss hearing those words.

Speaker 4 (34:11):
Will you did talk about maybe doing some improp games
or is Steve Letart still here?

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Slow wis slow down? Oh? Slow jams? Yeah, that's what
the people.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
You might have to do one of those.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
We'll find somebody in the crowd.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
We'll tell their love story through a slow jam here
on Katie WB and we'll do that in a minute.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Okay, God,
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