May 19, 2026 • 30 mins
Dave and Bailey get matching tattoos, we play a lot of old bits, and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Freaking pastor. Catherine's already getting on my nerves. No, I'm
just kidding. She's like, hey, get a clip do you
got alip? Do you got a clip doo? I'm like, no,
I don't have a clip a doo. You can get
it on Asy. I'm not supposed to mention those though.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeah, well, I mean I'm not too you know, you
want to know something. On my trip to Bali, I
had like one couple say, hey, can we just ask
you a couple of questions about the show. The first
question they asked was why can't Dave talk about clip
a doo on the radio?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
So I had to go into detail about that. But
I can talk about it. Get your clip a doos
on Etsy.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah, I'm supposed to do that.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I'm not supposed to be sped to do that.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I'm gonna bring some clipp a doos on the broadcast
on Thursday morning at All of America. So we're gonna
hand them out, I know.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yeah, I mean, you're not gonna make people pay. I
will expect something in return, yeah, like a couple of coffees.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
No, I want one of those cards. When you open it,
it has cats me owing. I mean that'd be funny.
And then you close it and then you open in
the cats. That's what I want.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
That's cute.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I like, thank you, thank you for That's what I want.
That's really all I want.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
We all are texting in some ideas of what I
could get if I decided to get a tattoo, and
one makes a lot of sense. Jenny, write that down.
That makes more sense for me than good bit, because
that's you.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
That's true. That's not really me.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
You know, it's not even me. I just kind of
took it and ran.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Somebody said Jenny should get a tattoo that says instead
a good bit, good butt, No good butt.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
That's hilarious, but I like the thought. I just will
not be doing that one. Get a tattooed on your butt.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Another tattoo says speaking of Pastor Catherine. My grandma was
the sister of Saint Joseph. She had four tattoos when
she passed at ninety three years old. There are references
to numerous tattoos in the Bible. Hm, I guess, so
I'm looking at text messages here. Can Dave tell the
story of pulling Allison's chair out from under her? Ooh,
(01:48):
it's terrible because again, no, that was that was a joke, though,
that was It was a joke. That was not like
losing anger. That was not anger. That was Alison was
sitting down in a little wooden kids size rocking chair
and she's probably nine or ten, and I was sitting
on the floor on the couch behind her. We were
watching Survivor, and so Allison is like, you know, in
(02:10):
her little rocking chair, and she gets up to like,
I don't know, do something, and she doesn't turn around
to look at the rocking chair. So, without even thinking
about it, I pulled the chair out from underleath a
nine year old girl, and she went tumbling back. I mean,
she fully committed to sitting down, went tumbling back.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
And she she didn't cry or anything, but she sure
didn't laugh. And Susan was like, what.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Did you do that for?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
And I said, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
It was an impulse.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Sometimes I get these impulses and they can't stop.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
You forgot that she's your daughter.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
You're like, exactly my buddy right here watching this fuddy trick.
Speaker 6 (02:46):
All right, Bailey Daily, it's all you, all right, this
is for Jenny and all of the millennials listening.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
It is time to pick your midlife crisis. Okay, okay,
I've got a list of them here.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Free you give me some examples. All right.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
So you can have an affair with a twenty year old,
all right, that's one of your mid life crisises.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I don't know rywork because I did just have that.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
An affair with a thirty year old. Yeah, okay, that's
not bad, but not affair.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Just we're both single humans. You had a love affair, yeah, okay.
Speaker 5 (03:23):
Number two, you can quit drinking, Jenny, I have no
problem with that.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Okay. Well, here's another mid life crisis for you. Alcoholism.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I'm drinking or I'm becoming an alcoholic. Okay, I'm going
to stray away from alcoholism. I'm not a fan of that,
all right, So.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Okay, great, here's another midlife crisis you can pick as
a millennial.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Peptides. I feel like that is it's like a skin
care sort of, but you can drink them too.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Forget.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
It's for your skin, I believe, and it's to make
you look less old.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
I think we're all doing that at this point. Another
mid life crisis run a marathon Jenny, I've.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Done a half. I'll never do anything else. I have
bad knees.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Okay, well, hey, maybe this speaks to you.
Speaker 5 (04:06):
Have a panic baby, Jenny, Jenny, have a panic baby crisis.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
If I got pregnant from the Australian man, it would
be a panic baby, but I'd be okay with it.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Okay, great, he's gorgeous, good genetics.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yeah, exactly what color would your the kid's hair beat?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
We don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
It would be blonde and curly and beautiful.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, I would hope so.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And it gives you an excuse to keep going back.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Yeah, true facts, all right. Divorce Unfortunately, Jenny, you're not married. No,
but if you're a millennial and you're looking for a
midlife crisis, considered.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Divorce high rocks.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I even complain that it's an it's a version of
like sled pulls, medicine ball throws. It's just like a
bunch of different stations. There's some running involved, so it's
kind of like a triathlon with different.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Pieces to it.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
But you have to hit a certain amount of weight,
you have to pull a certain amount of sledge, you
have to run a certain amount of distance. I actually
have considered high rocks. So that really that sounds like
this eventh circle of health. Yeah, no, same, but I
like a challenge.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Finally, one last midlife crisis for millennials, because it's time
to pick only fans.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Jenny, Well, that that was on my radar too, Did
you jump ropeing?
Speaker 4 (05:12):
I would like that one out of all of them.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
What are you going to do? It's not just about me?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Well, I probably let's see peptides.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
Yeah, that's probably divorce, actually divorced divorce. Okay, So millennials,
once again, it's time to pick your midlife crisis. You
can have an affair with a twenty year old, quit drinking, alcoholism, peptides,
run a marathon, have a panic baby, divorce, high rocks,
or only fans.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Those are the only choices you guys.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
So if you're an a millennial and you're looking for
a midlife crisis, because we are middle aged at this point,
those were your options.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Think about it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Yeah, you are, you're thirty five or halfway to like,
you know, seventy, I know, middle don't worry, it's a
long You've got a long way to go.
Speaker 7 (05:53):
Yeah, because you're near the end, you're near the end. Well,
you are thank you, You're welcome. I had a request
for Fallon's fight song. Oh, and we got to play
it one more time before, you know, before we go.
And so we'll play Fallon's fight song and start our tattoos.
Hopefully Arthur will be here in a minute. He's kind
of stuck in traffic.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
We'll be back in a second with Fallon's Fight Song
next on kd double UB. Stay right.
Speaker 8 (06:20):
Here's my favorite memory of meeting Dave is when he
was at Barnes and Noble with his children's book and
my son was just through the roof, like so excited.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
To meet Dave.
Speaker 9 (06:31):
And he still talks about it all the time, and if.
Speaker 8 (06:33):
We're in the car, he's always like, oh, there's David.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
I've heard him the Dave Ryan Show on kd w B.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I we're back live here on KDWB. It's kind of
chaos in the studio. Yes, we have two pastors in here,
Pastor Catherine, pastor Molly. We have Jackie who randomly said
can I come by the radio station and say hi
and get a book? And I said, I don't care.
We welcome everybody here. Did we have Arthur the tattoo
artist from Aloha Monkey and Arthur's wife Megan. So it's
(07:00):
kind of chaos in here. And then there's.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
As I'm so excited in my law studio, Dave.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
Said, I have to get my tattoo first though, and
I have this deep sinking feeling that he's going to
be like, I don't want mine anything.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
No, I seriously did. I seriously did consider not doing it, wow,
because it's it's a tattoo. But then you came up
with the idea of it's not big. It's about two
inches so it's very non obtrusive. It's not a giant tattoo,
and it's going to go here on the forearm, halfway
(07:32):
between the hand and the elbow.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Well, you were like, oh, how long is this going
to be? Three and a half inches?
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Like that's your My whole forearm is three and a
half inches, So no, you don't mean that much to me.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Well, thank you, Bailey, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
So do you have any on your forearm already?
Speaker 10 (07:47):
Not?
Speaker 4 (07:47):
No, not on my forearm. I've got only their upper
and my elbow.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
And we're live on YouTube, by the way, we are live.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
On YouTube some of them. This all going down.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Currently are there setting up a bunch of stuff. We
did must to play Founds fight song, So I think
we should do that.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
We should.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
So the story behind this is Fallon went to Fort
Wayne North High School, the fighting air fresheners and uh
and so this is Fallon's because Fallon grew up and well,
I don't want to say it was a trash neighborhood,
but you would get ticketed if you drove through town
without bales of hay in your truck. So, and it
(08:23):
wasn't the best high school. You could graduate with honors
if you could read most of the letters on your shiftknob.
So the shift shift nob the gear shift.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
Mob for d D and the prindle, the prindle, the prindle.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
What's a prindle?
Speaker 11 (08:37):
Oh, you don't get that, Zach and Cody when they
were learning how to drive prindle.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Park Fallon's fight song from Fort Wayne North High School.
Speaker 12 (08:48):
Hey, guys, put down her smokes. You guys, put down
your beer. We got a game tonight. That's why another
school is here. Tax the rich, Your mom is here,
and so is your aunt's. Straight from Fort Wayne's most
prestigious plant. Go fight with all your might. Aunt, act
like you give a crap, Please direct your attention to
(09:10):
the fifty yard line, wherefore you're entertainment. The cheer captain
will now get pregnant by number thirty two, Billy Pop Bode.
We had a chance to win tonight. We pragged as
hard and long, but the cube he's gone injury. He
set himself on fire with his bong wick wick wick
indy and his front where we hail.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Look, the coach just got out of jail.
Speaker 12 (09:36):
Hey, does anybody wanna buy a washer?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Come see me after the game.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Felling at one point said that is you can stop
right there. That is the only funny bit that you'll
never be. You'll never be funnier than that. So there
is Fallon's fight song on KDWB. I'm I'm gonna plug
it again. We're gonna be at the Mall of America
this Thursday, six until ten. People say, well, the maal
doesn't open till ten. Well, the stores don't open till ten,
But the mall opens at six o'clock.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
It always has.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Bailey and I have both worked at the Mall of America,
and so we've seen the mallwalkers in there early getting
their fitness on so don't worry.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Can you imagine We're.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Like, yeah, come on in at six, and nobody can
get in.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
People are bounding on the door.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's like Black Friday outside there.
Speaker 11 (10:21):
We play stupid because we're on the show, like nobody
has come yet and everybody's outside.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Do you remember the woman the other day who said
I would love to come, but hold on one second.
That's you know, that's me, hold on one second.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Control lime.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
We've told them a million times, maybe take it at
a different time than during the show.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
But he doesn't.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Somebody said, I can't go on Thursday. I really want to,
but I've got divorce court. I've been waiting for this
court date for a long time. Guess what. She moved
her court date for divorce courts stop it so she
can come to the Farewell broadcast.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
That she's been trying to get the stores for forever.
Speaker 11 (10:53):
Did you make that video for the woman that's in training.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Oh to get her excused for did?
Speaker 10 (11:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, Sydney Sidney Captain Sydney from Lieutenant Colonel Witt said
that she can have the day hot. So you made
that video so that way she knows she she knows
she's all good. She'll be there, so all right, that is,
we have to take a break. We'll be back in
a second with you can't make this stuff up. Bailey's
going to start her tattoo here in a second.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
She just got it, Like the what the stamp did
you say?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Well, you're doing on your right arm? Yeah, oh I
can't do it on my right arm. I got a
pall pro.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Yeah that's okay, but I'm gonna I want one full
arm tattooed one day and one full leg tattooed, but
not the other ones because yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Bit okay. You can see it on Dave Ryan TV
on YouTube and we'll be right back on KD. I
am not in any way prepared to do a you
can't make this stuff up?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
That's okay, because I think what you can't make up
is the fact that Bailey just got a tattoo.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
I did just now, just I mean serious, that was quick.
It right now be on Canada the whole commercial break,
so people watched, Okay, nice, how'd you do? I mean
I didn't hear any bernisine.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
It only her for.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Like the first hit.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Yeah, she'squinted for the first like ten seconds.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
And then I was like she was over it.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Oh I'm strong and capable woman.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yeah you are. Yeah yeah, And that's it.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
And you have a whole crowd of people watching.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
You didn't.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You didn't know if we were gonna have an audience.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
There's usually nobody in here but us, but we got
this bigger studio. We got Arthur from Aloha Monkey Arthur.
When if I want to get a tattoo, do I
need to just can I just pop in? Or is
it if it's If it's really, I can pop in
seven days a week, walk in seven days a week, Okay, gotcha.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
I'm there Friday through Tuesdays.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
I always have time for walkings. But I do take appointment.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Because when you and I met a year ago, when
I got Josie's pop print, I just walked in and
you're like, oh, we'll take you right away. And then
you and I were chatting and you didn't know, like
you know that it was for Josie until I brought
up my dog Josie right into the microphone.
Speaker 13 (12:48):
There are I was listening that morning actually, and I
texted in even Tuesday because I heard you saying you wanted.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
To get his tattooed for Josie that day.
Speaker 13 (12:56):
Yeah, and so I said, well, I do pop prints
all the time.
Speaker 7 (12:59):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
There was no answer anything, So y'all are busy cool.
But then he just magically.
Speaker 13 (13:03):
Showed up, you know. And so I hated this piece
of paper and it said David on it, and he
wants a pap print. It's like, so I said David,
he was yeah, I'm Dave. And second you said Dave,
it was like, oh yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
Since the stars aligned in that moment, truly Universe delivers.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Had somebody come in with the tattoo Arthur that you're like, hmm,
I'm going to send you home to think about that
one overnight. For the most part, no, really.
Speaker 13 (13:29):
My only deal is like if I can't execute it right,
you know what I mean, Like, if it's if it's
impossible for me to do or I know it won't
look good, Yeah, then for sure I'd be like, you know,
we need to kind of rethink the design a little bit,
you know, change it up, and if we can't decide
on it, maybe then yeah, go home and revisit.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Okay, gotcha. Have you ever had like people come in
for tattoo cover ups? Like yeah, you know, like if
I had, like, you know, Shonda tattooed on my arm
because I was in love with Shonda fictional by the way,
and then I'm like, no longer in love with Shonda.
You can turn that into a Lushonda or I mean,
what you do, cover up? What you cover up? What's
the worst tattoo? If you can tell the story of
(14:06):
the tattoo that you're like, that was not good. I
got to cover it up. Because I'm sure there's a
lot of homemade tattoos and tattoos that were done by
somebody who was not very talented. We've all seen the
one of the baby's face, the baby's face too.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I can't think of a specifically one.
Speaker 13 (14:22):
You know, there's so many bad ones with their homemade stuff.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Is pretty crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
How bad? Yeah, Arthur, thanks for doing it. We'll get
started here in a second. So there's been very sloppy,
unusual version of you can't make this stuff up.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Let's get some suggestions of like some classic bits you
might want to hear, like maybe some kind of prank
bit we've done in the past, or something else that
we can play. Because Dave's not gonna be able to
talk for a little bit here. Well, well, I mean
you probably could technically talk, but I would like you
to be focused on your tattoo. So if you want
to text us in or leave a talk back of
something you want to hear from the archives, let us
know and won't get that played for you.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Okay, Yeah, very cool. There have been so many I
mean Old Bond, Yeah, that's great. The funny thing about
the doing the Old Bond commercial is it cracked me up.
I had to do it like six times. It's still
crack every every time I did it, I would laugh
and I had to start over it. If you listen
to the Old Bond bit, I start laughing at myself
at the end of the bit because I was so funny.
Speaker 10 (15:16):
You know.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
My favorite bit specifically is the Benny Hannah song.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Gosh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
It like that you did that song and nobody liked
it really takes me. All right, I'll tell you what
we do. We can do that on your thirty third anniversion,
So yeah, we can do. I'm not gonna do the
whale joke wow because it's way too.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Long, because he's gonna save it from all of America.
That's true.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I might, I might save it for all of America,
all right. That is, you can't make this stuff up.
Brought to you by the LEO Agency Choose Leo dot com.
We'll go ahead and play if.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
You can dig it up the Benny Hannah song.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
No, No, you.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Didn't want to do it? Okay, what did you want
to do? Old Bonds?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Old Bond, let's do Yes, that's a good one.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Somebody said the OCD song, which is really not Some
songs don't age well, like Wet Like the Rain. There's
one that we got to play. Oh, Wet like the
Rain doesn't really age well because he's talking about bolting
the door so you can't get away, so you can
make sweet sweet love.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Well, neither does Fupa. But we played Fupa and I
love that song.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Right, that's a great one.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Let's play Old Bond on KD double ub.
Speaker 14 (16:20):
Mister Ivan Glotsky of New Haven, Connecticut explains why he
uses Old Bond medicated powder.
Speaker 9 (16:26):
There was a tingling, like a bad rish, like a
prickly heat, and then the tingling tined into an oozing,
and the tingling kind of turned into an oozing, which
was kind of a mucasy blood, kind of a crack
with a dry flakiness all over that came out of
my pcocta thing. And that's when I tried the old bond.
Speaker 14 (16:41):
And what happened as soon as you applied the old bond.
Speaker 9 (16:44):
Well, it's solidicided into kind of a chunky mass. It
was adhering to all the hand. I was covered with puzzy,
mucasy masses of chunky, white cheesy like a cream cheesy
goop substance that was oozing from the crag.
Speaker 14 (16:57):
Mister Glotski, describe your symptoms after using the old bond
for just one week.
Speaker 9 (17:01):
It was an oozing with a puffs with a white
cakey substance. It was kind of like a cottage cheese
and would fill up with blood and I would have
to lance it and drain it. So I put on
more padda and then what would happen is to begin
to bubble and stink, and then the cocta wound opened
up and had this mucus that would dump out of
my paint leg and small puffs of white, chunky ooze.
It would hit the ground and dust would fly up
(17:23):
everywhere when I walked, and I looked like a small
railroad engine.
Speaker 14 (17:26):
Mister Glosky, would you recommend old Bond to your friends?
Speaker 9 (17:30):
Yes? I would. It was good, and I would recommend
it for anything except for like a bloody ooze with
a lot of puffs, because that turned into like a
boil and I had to have it looked at and
it was ingrown and they was plucking hairs and it
was a horrible smelling thing. But I won't eat in
that restaurant anymore. Besides, they don't know me anyway.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
You say now.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Hear to say, Dave is about to get his tattoo.
He was just giving a shout out. So, Dave, if
you're talking to Bailey's microphone, you're still live right now.
We've got a bunch of requests, You've got the stencil on,
and Arthur's about to start right now.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Are you nervous?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I mean a little bit. Yeah, I mean Arthur is
a pro and he's done it before. Yeah, god son
of a du Yeah. Oh okay, is it started.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
To be ridiculous?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
He hasn't started, but you can watch on YouTube live right, Vaughn,
We've got Oh sorry, Vn.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
I'm sorry. I'm not used to having to turn all
these my justice.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Yeah, we're live on Dave Ryan TV. You can watch
Dave get his tattoo get stabbed.
Speaker 15 (18:37):
Now.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
A lot of her people requested Dave the Hollister song.
Do you want to give a little background on this song?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
So maybe I've start it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Alison, my daughter, was probably around thirteen or so, and
she loved Hollister, like everybody you know twenty years ago
you go into Hollister, and she was so sweet. She
would call from Hollister and say, Dad, there's a shirt
that I want that's thirteen dollars. Can I got it?
(19:05):
And she was so sweet about it. And then I thought, oh,
well that'd be really funny. So I was on the
phone with Steve Lettart and we were trying to find
out like what specifics, like what do the kids that
work at Hollister, what do they drink? And blah blah blah.
And so Steve actually got partial writing credit on that one.
That's se but Alison nailed it. Yeah, and so and
we modeled it completely after the Ludicrous rap and there
(19:27):
was a dated reference in there Pamida, which was kind
of like a Dollar General kind of store, and so
that is what the Pamida means, and it is the
Hollister song by probably fifteen year old Alison. Last fun fact,
back when people used to call radio stations for a
request line. One day we got like sixteen hundred requests
(19:47):
for the HOLLISTERSNG.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
It was like a record. It was nuts. So here
is for the last time, and it's on YouTube. I'm
sure the Hollister song on Kate.
Speaker 8 (20:04):
If you take me to Walmart, then you're not my dad.
If you take me to Walmart, then you're not my dad.
H O l l I s t e R.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
H O l l I s t e R. There's
a store Dad, down at the mall and you can
still it from way down the hall because dis gray
stuff on all their clothes down at Hollister. Oh, spend
(20:39):
spend day, Hollister, Hollister, Hollister, down at Hollister, Hollister Hollisher.
All their clothes are super cute, teasing tins and cameras.
Soup mom, Can I please have a few bucks? Oh,
I don't look like you employees. I'll drink caraboo either
that or jama juice.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
Take me.
Speaker 8 (21:00):
I'll be nice.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
See you all the gay Gushater.
Speaker 8 (21:02):
The American need goes over with they're just so two
thousand and six. You can go, but don't come in
because you're so embarrassing me and my grandfather clothes. Then
we grab our camera phones striking in appropriate pose and
put the pictures on my Space. Hollister Holliser, Holliston, down
at Holliser.
Speaker 15 (21:23):
Hollis Hollister, Oh my god, Alison, gives me a break.
We're on a beer budget. You got champagne taste. I'm
taking you to Pennies and then over to Pomida. You
ain't wearing clothes that show off your booty.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
If you want to go to college, then you have
better well acknowledged that. We gotta shave some money. So
what's wrong with dressing funny?
Speaker 15 (21:46):
I don't want to make you mad, but Walmart really
ain't that mad?
Speaker 8 (21:50):
Of if you take me to Walmart, then you're not
my dad?
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Geeze, yeah, can you give me one hundred million dollars?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
What do you need a hundred fifty dollars for you?
Speaker 4 (21:59):
I'm going to Hollister, got creached.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Up down a Kmar. We'll give me the car. We're
going to kmart.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Let's go kmart.
Speaker 8 (22:04):
Just give me your wallet.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
And just like that, Dave's tattoo is already done.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
That was so quick, you did.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
You looked up and you're like, are you done?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Yeah? Are these?
Speaker 5 (22:16):
Like?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
I don't ways time.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Arthur's the man. He said, I'm not here to waste
somebody's time.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
That was crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah, it says, good bit. Bailey and I are tattoo buddies,
you guy.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Oh sorry, Bailey, I don't know what Mike, you're on.
Now you're on, you're on?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Yeah, good bit.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
And now Dave, when you're like on your deathbed, you'll
look over at it and you'll be like.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Why did I get this?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
No? No, No. What's worse is that every time you
look at your tattoo, yeah, you will be forced to
think of me. Well, I mean.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Everyone in their mom is always like, well, don't tattoos
need to mean something? Blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Why would you get a good bit?
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Well, because this is like an era of my life,
and so now I'll always remember this era of my life.
And now you, I mean, you didn't need to remember
my era of your life, but now you have to.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
No, I mean I kind of have to hear. It's
funny because you know, get a tattoo that means something
to you. I remember Angie Taylor, who will be at
the broadcast. She was on the show for four years
back in the early two thousands. She'll be there on Thursday,
and she told the story of how when she turned eighteen,
she had to go to the casino and to get
her first tattoo. Not the casino, and she goes in
(23:17):
the tattoo shop, Well, what do you want to get?
Speaker 4 (23:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
She decided on a tweety bird on her left shoulder blade. Yeah,
and she hated it because she doesn't care about tweety bird.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And so then whenever she would and tattoos were not
really as in vogue twenty years ago for sure, and
or maybe thirty years ago now, and so she couldn't
go to a wedding and wear like a beautiful off
the shoulder dress or whatever without her ugly giant tweety
bird tattoo.
Speaker 5 (23:47):
Okay, I think that's cute though, because my I had
a cousin, Pam, who had a bugs bunny tattoo right
on her boob, and so as her boobs got bigger in.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Her older age, like the bunny bugs.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
Bunny described to like stretch me and my sister thought
she was the coolest person ever because she had a
tattoo on her boob, and so, Jenny.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
No, I'm good. I'm good on that one. I think
I'm good on that one.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
So well, what's a good bit? You tattoo this on me?
Now gonna happen? No, No, I don't don't even care.
How good I know I met me going to pass
on that way. I respect the hell out of you,
but I want I would be why you know, and
(24:31):
I appreciate that, but I would be ashamed that I
marred up your body.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I don't could go like in the wrong.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I don't know if it would be the wrong skin layer,
but it would be a lot of shakiness. Because the
man drinks so much coffee, it looked like a toddler.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
People would be like, what does that say, Arthur? What
does that say?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
What gotta tell you? What an experience this morning? I
mean everything from Arthur coming in with his lovely wife
Megan over here to do the TA two and then
Pastor Catherine to meet Pastor Catherine and Pastor Molly. The
some of the most fun pastors that you know, I
hope if you go to church you have a fun pastor.
Or what's the Jewish leader? What are the RABBITI right?
(25:14):
What is that? What is a Muslim leader? What do
they called a mom?
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Mom? H?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And what's another religion, Buddhism? What's a Buddhist preacher? Sekkay,
you made that up? You made that? No or the pope?
So anyway, nice, thank you guys for coming in. Stay
as long as you want. And where did where did
Jackie go?
Speaker 7 (25:40):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Had she?
Speaker 3 (25:43):
I think she had a good job?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Right? Okay, gotcha? All right? Here is we're not allowed
to play this bit anymore. Rich forbid this bit from
being on the show probably five years ago. He's like,
day if I just don't really like that bit, what's its?
Just a little what is he going to do? Fire me?
So here is a bit that we are not allowed
to play anymore. It's harvest time here at Dixon Farms.
(26:05):
This time of the year when the weather cools off
and the days gets shorter. The folks at Dixon Farms
know just what hits the spot. Our Dixon Farms apples
make the best sider for miles around. And everyone from
your grandma to your daughter, all want some Dixonsider.
Speaker 16 (26:19):
My best friend Nicole was just telling me she wasn't
in the mood for tea or wine, but some Dixonsiders
sounded just great.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I'll bet your friend would like to try the latest
from Dixon Farms.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Here have some ooh that packs a kick.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yep, that's brand new from Dixon Farms. It carries just
a little more kick. And we think she's gonna love
hard Dixonsider.
Speaker 16 (26:38):
Hard Dixonsider. Wow, that's gotta feel great on a cold night.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
And you bet it's even better if you warm it
up first.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Great idea.
Speaker 16 (26:46):
We like telling the cole how much she'll love hot
hard Dixonsider.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
And on the go, try tiny Dixonsider slips right in
her purse or pocket, or just about anywhere on the bus,
on the plane, even in a stairwell. She'll love tiny Dixonsider.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Well that's nice, but I like mine.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Big dix Insider, perfect on any occasion.
Speaker 10 (27:05):
My aunt says she never wanted Dixon Insider, and we
always wondered about her. Then she tried dix Insider and
she couldn't get enough. Now all she can talk about
is how she wants dix Insider.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Dixonsider guaranteed to hit the spot every time.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
There's still a lot of excitement going on in the
studio right now because now Emily who I don't even
know Emily's title, but she basically does everything around the boss.
She is the boss and now she is getting good
bit tattooed on her. Emily already has really yeah she is,
she's getting right now.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah wow.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
And Dave just ran off to say goodbye to Pastor Catherine,
and now we have another guest.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
In studio and we're just rolling everyone in right now.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
But VN, can you please tell us about what's happening
Thursday morning at the Mall of America.
Speaker 9 (27:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (27:53):
We we're gonna go celebrate David and it's this big
send off show. It's a big broadcast we're doing from
the Rotunda Thursday morning from six to ten, and it's
going to be jam packed with former co host. I
like to compare it to the Avengers Endgame of kdewb
Lee Vols, Vick, Angie Taylor Wilson, Corey Foley, Fallon, Lena
Steve O, Jamie Drake.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Did you say John is Drake?
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Drake is not making it. And who's the last one
I miss?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Do you say, John intern?
Speaker 11 (28:20):
John?
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Yes, so come.
Speaker 11 (28:21):
By your last chance to say that C. Dave before
he goes into a tomb for the rest of his life.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Not an act.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
What is that entrance?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Is the East Entrance? It is?
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, kind of my underwater well. It's called sea World,
sea Life.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah, so if you just type in sea Life, it's
probably going to take you to that. Or if you
know them all of America because you've grown up here,
you will know where the East Entrance is.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
You know, when somebody had the idea and I don't
think there's any way to turn it around in forty
eight hours. Is like Farewell show t shirts? Now, if
we had somebody sponsor those because the radio station's got
no budget, Nope, it wouldn't it be cool if, like,
I don't know, Snap Fitness gave us, like he gave
us fifteen thousand dollars to make up date Ryan and
the Morty show well shirts. Brian is now digging a
(29:02):
hole in the carpet to escape the room. Yes, yeah,
but we should have thought of that. We should have
had like Farewell shirts to try.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
We didn't have much My brain didn't know what was
going on. I came back and I learned about this
broadcast because I was tagged in an Instagram post and
I was like, oh cool, Yeah, but I was excited
because I'm like, this is going to be so lit.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
It has been a crazy week and it's only Tuesday.
So we'll be back here tomorrow, Maul on Thursday, and
then final show from the Space Nagle studio on Friday.
Coming up in a second, we're going to talk to
our friend Brian from snap Fitness to get some fitness
tips for the summer and things, you know, because it's
that time of the year where you're gonna get outside.
Maybe you want to, like, I don't know, drop a
(29:41):
couple of LB's tone up a little bit, how to
stick with it, some different tips for you or four
and if you have any questions you talk about this
guy he is super fit and aren't you an MMA fighter?
What are you boxing? What is it?
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Jushit?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Wow? So here's a who knows about fitness and nutrition.
We'll talk to Brian coming up next.
Speaker 7 (30:03):
K
Freaking pastor. Catherine's already getting on my nerves. No, I'm
just kidding. She's like, hey, get a clip do you
got alip? Do you got a clip doo? I'm like, no,
I don't have a clip a doo. You can get
it on Asy. I'm not supposed to mention those though.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeah, well, I mean I'm not too you know, you
want to know something. On my trip to Bali, I
had like one couple say, hey, can we just ask
you a couple of questions about the show. The first
question they asked was why can't Dave talk about clip
a doo on the radio?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
So I had to go into detail about that. But
I can talk about it. Get your clip a doos
on Etsy.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah, I'm supposed to do that.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I'm not supposed to be sped to do that.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I'm gonna bring some clipp a doos on the broadcast
on Thursday morning at All of America. So we're gonna
hand them out, I know.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yeah, I mean, you're not gonna make people pay. I
will expect something in return, yeah, like a couple of coffees.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
No, I want one of those cards. When you open it,
it has cats me owing. I mean that'd be funny.
And then you close it and then you open in
the cats. That's what I want.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
That's cute.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I like, thank you, thank you for That's what I want.
That's really all I want.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
We all are texting in some ideas of what I
could get if I decided to get a tattoo, and
one makes a lot of sense. Jenny, write that down.
That makes more sense for me than good bit, because
that's you.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
That's true. That's not really me.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
You know, it's not even me. I just kind of
took it and ran.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Somebody said Jenny should get a tattoo that says instead
a good bit, good butt, No good butt.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
That's hilarious, but I like the thought. I just will
not be doing that one. Get a tattooed on your butt.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Another tattoo says speaking of Pastor Catherine. My grandma was
the sister of Saint Joseph. She had four tattoos when
she passed at ninety three years old. There are references
to numerous tattoos in the Bible. Hm, I guess, so
I'm looking at text messages here. Can Dave tell the
story of pulling Allison's chair out from under her? Ooh,
(01:48):
it's terrible because again, no, that was that was a joke, though,
that was It was a joke. That was not like
losing anger. That was not anger. That was Alison was
sitting down in a little wooden kids size rocking chair
and she's probably nine or ten, and I was sitting
on the floor on the couch behind her. We were
watching Survivor, and so Allison is like, you know, in
(02:10):
her little rocking chair, and she gets up to like,
I don't know, do something, and she doesn't turn around
to look at the rocking chair. So, without even thinking
about it, I pulled the chair out from underleath a
nine year old girl, and she went tumbling back. I mean,
she fully committed to sitting down, went tumbling back.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
And she she didn't cry or anything, but she sure
didn't laugh. And Susan was like, what.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Did you do that for?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
And I said, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
It was an impulse.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Sometimes I get these impulses and they can't stop.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
You forgot that she's your daughter.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
You're like, exactly my buddy right here watching this fuddy trick.
Speaker 6 (02:46):
All right, Bailey Daily, it's all you, all right, this
is for Jenny and all of the millennials listening.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
It is time to pick your midlife crisis. Okay, okay,
I've got a list of them here.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Free you give me some examples. All right.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
So you can have an affair with a twenty year old,
all right, that's one of your mid life crisises.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I don't know rywork because I did just have that.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
An affair with a thirty year old. Yeah, okay, that's
not bad, but not affair.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Just we're both single humans. You had a love affair, yeah, okay.
Speaker 5 (03:23):
Number two, you can quit drinking, Jenny, I have no
problem with that.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Okay. Well, here's another mid life crisis for you. Alcoholism.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I'm drinking or I'm becoming an alcoholic. Okay, I'm going
to stray away from alcoholism. I'm not a fan of that,
all right, So.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Okay, great, here's another midlife crisis you can pick as
a millennial.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Peptides. I feel like that is it's like a skin
care sort of, but you can drink them too.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Forget.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
It's for your skin, I believe, and it's to make
you look less old.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
I think we're all doing that at this point. Another
mid life crisis run a marathon Jenny, I've.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Done a half. I'll never do anything else. I have
bad knees.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Okay, well, hey, maybe this speaks to you.
Speaker 5 (04:06):
Have a panic baby, Jenny, Jenny, have a panic baby crisis.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
If I got pregnant from the Australian man, it would
be a panic baby, but I'd be okay with it.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Okay, great, he's gorgeous, good genetics.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yeah, exactly what color would your the kid's hair beat?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
We don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
It would be blonde and curly and beautiful.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, I would hope so.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And it gives you an excuse to keep going back.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Yeah, true facts, all right. Divorce Unfortunately, Jenny, you're not married. No,
but if you're a millennial and you're looking for a
midlife crisis, considered.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Divorce high rocks.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I even complain that it's an it's a version of
like sled pulls, medicine ball throws. It's just like a
bunch of different stations. There's some running involved, so it's
kind of like a triathlon with different.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Pieces to it.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
But you have to hit a certain amount of weight,
you have to pull a certain amount of sledge, you
have to run a certain amount of distance. I actually
have considered high rocks. So that really that sounds like
this eventh circle of health. Yeah, no, same, but I
like a challenge.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Finally, one last midlife crisis for millennials, because it's time
to pick only fans.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Jenny, Well, that that was on my radar too, Did
you jump ropeing?
Speaker 4 (05:12):
I would like that one out of all of them.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
What are you going to do? It's not just about me?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Well, I probably let's see peptides.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
Yeah, that's probably divorce, actually divorced divorce. Okay, So millennials,
once again, it's time to pick your midlife crisis. You
can have an affair with a twenty year old, quit drinking, alcoholism, peptides,
run a marathon, have a panic baby, divorce, high rocks,
or only fans.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Those are the only choices you guys.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
So if you're an a millennial and you're looking for
a midlife crisis, because we are middle aged at this point,
those were your options.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Think about it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Yeah, you are, you're thirty five or halfway to like,
you know, seventy, I know, middle don't worry, it's a
long You've got a long way to go.
Speaker 7 (05:53):
Yeah, because you're near the end, you're near the end. Well,
you are thank you, You're welcome. I had a request
for Fallon's fight song. Oh, and we got to play
it one more time before, you know, before we go.
And so we'll play Fallon's fight song and start our tattoos.
Hopefully Arthur will be here in a minute. He's kind
of stuck in traffic.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
We'll be back in a second with Fallon's Fight Song
next on kd double UB. Stay right.
Speaker 8 (06:20):
Here's my favorite memory of meeting Dave is when he
was at Barnes and Noble with his children's book and
my son was just through the roof, like so excited.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
To meet Dave.
Speaker 9 (06:31):
And he still talks about it all the time, and if.
Speaker 8 (06:33):
We're in the car, he's always like, oh, there's David.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
I've heard him the Dave Ryan Show on kd w B.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I we're back live here on KDWB. It's kind of
chaos in the studio. Yes, we have two pastors in here,
Pastor Catherine, pastor Molly. We have Jackie who randomly said
can I come by the radio station and say hi
and get a book? And I said, I don't care.
We welcome everybody here. Did we have Arthur the tattoo
artist from Aloha Monkey and Arthur's wife Megan. So it's
(07:00):
kind of chaos in here. And then there's.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
As I'm so excited in my law studio, Dave.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
Said, I have to get my tattoo first though, and
I have this deep sinking feeling that he's going to
be like, I don't want mine anything.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
No, I seriously did. I seriously did consider not doing it, wow,
because it's it's a tattoo. But then you came up
with the idea of it's not big. It's about two
inches so it's very non obtrusive. It's not a giant tattoo,
and it's going to go here on the forearm, halfway
(07:32):
between the hand and the elbow.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Well, you were like, oh, how long is this going
to be? Three and a half inches?
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Like that's your My whole forearm is three and a
half inches, So no, you don't mean that much to me.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Well, thank you, Bailey, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
So do you have any on your forearm already?
Speaker 10 (07:47):
Not?
Speaker 4 (07:47):
No, not on my forearm. I've got only their upper
and my elbow.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
And we're live on YouTube, by the way, we are live.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
On YouTube some of them. This all going down.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Currently are there setting up a bunch of stuff. We
did must to play Founds fight song, So I think
we should do that.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
We should.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
So the story behind this is Fallon went to Fort
Wayne North High School, the fighting air fresheners and uh
and so this is Fallon's because Fallon grew up and well,
I don't want to say it was a trash neighborhood,
but you would get ticketed if you drove through town
without bales of hay in your truck. So, and it
(08:23):
wasn't the best high school. You could graduate with honors
if you could read most of the letters on your shiftknob.
So the shift shift nob the gear shift.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
Mob for d D and the prindle, the prindle, the prindle.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
What's a prindle?
Speaker 11 (08:37):
Oh, you don't get that, Zach and Cody when they
were learning how to drive prindle.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Park Fallon's fight song from Fort Wayne North High School.
Speaker 12 (08:48):
Hey, guys, put down her smokes. You guys, put down
your beer. We got a game tonight. That's why another
school is here. Tax the rich, Your mom is here,
and so is your aunt's. Straight from Fort Wayne's most
prestigious plant. Go fight with all your might. Aunt, act
like you give a crap, Please direct your attention to
(09:10):
the fifty yard line, wherefore you're entertainment. The cheer captain
will now get pregnant by number thirty two, Billy Pop Bode.
We had a chance to win tonight. We pragged as
hard and long, but the cube he's gone injury. He
set himself on fire with his bong wick wick wick
indy and his front where we hail.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Look, the coach just got out of jail.
Speaker 12 (09:36):
Hey, does anybody wanna buy a washer?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Come see me after the game.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Felling at one point said that is you can stop
right there. That is the only funny bit that you'll
never be. You'll never be funnier than that. So there
is Fallon's fight song on KDWB. I'm I'm gonna plug
it again. We're gonna be at the Mall of America
this Thursday, six until ten. People say, well, the maal
doesn't open till ten. Well, the stores don't open till ten,
But the mall opens at six o'clock.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
It always has.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Bailey and I have both worked at the Mall of America,
and so we've seen the mallwalkers in there early getting
their fitness on so don't worry.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Can you imagine We're.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Like, yeah, come on in at six, and nobody can
get in.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
People are bounding on the door.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's like Black Friday outside there.
Speaker 11 (10:21):
We play stupid because we're on the show, like nobody
has come yet and everybody's outside.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Do you remember the woman the other day who said
I would love to come, but hold on one second.
That's you know, that's me, hold on one second.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Control lime.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
We've told them a million times, maybe take it at
a different time than during the show.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
But he doesn't.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Somebody said, I can't go on Thursday. I really want to,
but I've got divorce court. I've been waiting for this
court date for a long time. Guess what. She moved
her court date for divorce courts stop it so she
can come to the Farewell broadcast.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
That she's been trying to get the stores for forever.
Speaker 11 (10:53):
Did you make that video for the woman that's in training.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Oh to get her excused for did?
Speaker 10 (11:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, Sydney Sidney Captain Sydney from Lieutenant Colonel Witt said
that she can have the day hot. So you made
that video so that way she knows she she knows
she's all good. She'll be there, so all right, that is,
we have to take a break. We'll be back in
a second with you can't make this stuff up. Bailey's
going to start her tattoo here in a second.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
She just got it, Like the what the stamp did
you say?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Well, you're doing on your right arm? Yeah, oh I
can't do it on my right arm. I got a
pall pro.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Yeah that's okay, but I'm gonna I want one full
arm tattooed one day and one full leg tattooed, but
not the other ones because yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Bit okay. You can see it on Dave Ryan TV
on YouTube and we'll be right back on KD. I
am not in any way prepared to do a you
can't make this stuff up?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
That's okay, because I think what you can't make up
is the fact that Bailey just got a tattoo.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
I did just now, just I mean serious, that was quick.
It right now be on Canada the whole commercial break,
so people watched, Okay, nice, how'd you do? I mean
I didn't hear any bernisine.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
It only her for.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Like the first hit.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Yeah, she'squinted for the first like ten seconds.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
And then I was like she was over it.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Oh I'm strong and capable woman.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yeah you are. Yeah yeah, And that's it.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
And you have a whole crowd of people watching.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
You didn't.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You didn't know if we were gonna have an audience.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
There's usually nobody in here but us, but we got
this bigger studio. We got Arthur from Aloha Monkey Arthur.
When if I want to get a tattoo, do I
need to just can I just pop in? Or is
it if it's If it's really, I can pop in
seven days a week, walk in seven days a week, Okay, gotcha.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
I'm there Friday through Tuesdays.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
I always have time for walkings. But I do take appointment.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Because when you and I met a year ago, when
I got Josie's pop print, I just walked in and
you're like, oh, we'll take you right away. And then
you and I were chatting and you didn't know, like
you know that it was for Josie until I brought
up my dog Josie right into the microphone.
Speaker 13 (12:48):
There are I was listening that morning actually, and I
texted in even Tuesday because I heard you saying you wanted.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
To get his tattooed for Josie that day.
Speaker 13 (12:56):
Yeah, and so I said, well, I do pop prints
all the time.
Speaker 7 (12:59):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
There was no answer anything, So y'all are busy cool.
But then he just magically.
Speaker 13 (13:03):
Showed up, you know. And so I hated this piece
of paper and it said David on it, and he
wants a pap print. It's like, so I said David,
he was yeah, I'm Dave. And second you said Dave,
it was like, oh yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
Since the stars aligned in that moment, truly Universe delivers.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Had somebody come in with the tattoo Arthur that you're like, hmm,
I'm going to send you home to think about that
one overnight. For the most part, no, really.
Speaker 13 (13:29):
My only deal is like if I can't execute it right,
you know what I mean, Like, if it's if it's
impossible for me to do or I know it won't
look good, Yeah, then for sure I'd be like, you know,
we need to kind of rethink the design a little bit,
you know, change it up, and if we can't decide
on it, maybe then yeah, go home and revisit.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Okay, gotcha. Have you ever had like people come in
for tattoo cover ups? Like yeah, you know, like if
I had, like, you know, Shonda tattooed on my arm
because I was in love with Shonda fictional by the way,
and then I'm like, no longer in love with Shonda.
You can turn that into a Lushonda or I mean,
what you do, cover up? What you cover up? What's
the worst tattoo? If you can tell the story of
(14:06):
the tattoo that you're like, that was not good. I
got to cover it up. Because I'm sure there's a
lot of homemade tattoos and tattoos that were done by
somebody who was not very talented. We've all seen the
one of the baby's face, the baby's face too.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I can't think of a specifically one.
Speaker 13 (14:22):
You know, there's so many bad ones with their homemade stuff.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Is pretty crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
How bad? Yeah, Arthur, thanks for doing it. We'll get
started here in a second. So there's been very sloppy,
unusual version of you can't make this stuff up.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Let's get some suggestions of like some classic bits you
might want to hear, like maybe some kind of prank
bit we've done in the past, or something else that
we can play. Because Dave's not gonna be able to
talk for a little bit here. Well, well, I mean
you probably could technically talk, but I would like you
to be focused on your tattoo. So if you want
to text us in or leave a talk back of
something you want to hear from the archives, let us
know and won't get that played for you.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Okay, Yeah, very cool. There have been so many I
mean Old Bond, Yeah, that's great. The funny thing about
the doing the Old Bond commercial is it cracked me up.
I had to do it like six times. It's still
crack every every time I did it, I would laugh
and I had to start over it. If you listen
to the Old Bond bit, I start laughing at myself
at the end of the bit because I was so funny.
Speaker 10 (15:16):
You know.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
My favorite bit specifically is the Benny Hannah song.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Gosh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
It like that you did that song and nobody liked
it really takes me. All right, I'll tell you what
we do. We can do that on your thirty third anniversion,
So yeah, we can do. I'm not gonna do the
whale joke wow because it's way too.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Long, because he's gonna save it from all of America.
That's true.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I might, I might save it for all of America,
all right. That is, you can't make this stuff up.
Brought to you by the LEO Agency Choose Leo dot com.
We'll go ahead and play if.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
You can dig it up the Benny Hannah song.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
No, No, you.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Didn't want to do it? Okay, what did you want
to do? Old Bonds?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Old Bond, let's do Yes, that's a good one.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Somebody said the OCD song, which is really not Some
songs don't age well, like Wet Like the Rain. There's
one that we got to play. Oh, Wet like the
Rain doesn't really age well because he's talking about bolting
the door so you can't get away, so you can
make sweet sweet love.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Well, neither does Fupa. But we played Fupa and I
love that song.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Right, that's a great one.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Let's play Old Bond on KD double ub.
Speaker 14 (16:20):
Mister Ivan Glotsky of New Haven, Connecticut explains why he
uses Old Bond medicated powder.
Speaker 9 (16:26):
There was a tingling, like a bad rish, like a
prickly heat, and then the tingling tined into an oozing,
and the tingling kind of turned into an oozing, which
was kind of a mucasy blood, kind of a crack
with a dry flakiness all over that came out of
my pcocta thing. And that's when I tried the old bond.
Speaker 14 (16:41):
And what happened as soon as you applied the old bond.
Speaker 9 (16:44):
Well, it's solidicided into kind of a chunky mass. It
was adhering to all the hand. I was covered with puzzy,
mucasy masses of chunky, white cheesy like a cream cheesy
goop substance that was oozing from the crag.
Speaker 14 (16:57):
Mister Glotski, describe your symptoms after using the old bond
for just one week.
Speaker 9 (17:01):
It was an oozing with a puffs with a white
cakey substance. It was kind of like a cottage cheese
and would fill up with blood and I would have
to lance it and drain it. So I put on
more padda and then what would happen is to begin
to bubble and stink, and then the cocta wound opened
up and had this mucus that would dump out of
my paint leg and small puffs of white, chunky ooze.
It would hit the ground and dust would fly up
(17:23):
everywhere when I walked, and I looked like a small
railroad engine.
Speaker 14 (17:26):
Mister Glosky, would you recommend old Bond to your friends?
Speaker 9 (17:30):
Yes? I would. It was good, and I would recommend
it for anything except for like a bloody ooze with
a lot of puffs, because that turned into like a
boil and I had to have it looked at and
it was ingrown and they was plucking hairs and it
was a horrible smelling thing. But I won't eat in
that restaurant anymore. Besides, they don't know me anyway.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
You say now.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Hear to say, Dave is about to get his tattoo.
He was just giving a shout out. So, Dave, if
you're talking to Bailey's microphone, you're still live right now.
We've got a bunch of requests, You've got the stencil on,
and Arthur's about to start right now.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Are you nervous?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I mean a little bit. Yeah, I mean Arthur is
a pro and he's done it before. Yeah, god son
of a du Yeah. Oh okay, is it started.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
To be ridiculous?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
He hasn't started, but you can watch on YouTube live right, Vaughn,
We've got Oh sorry, Vn.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
I'm sorry. I'm not used to having to turn all
these my justice.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Yeah, we're live on Dave Ryan TV. You can watch
Dave get his tattoo get stabbed.
Speaker 15 (18:37):
Now.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
A lot of her people requested Dave the Hollister song.
Do you want to give a little background on this song?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
So maybe I've start it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Alison, my daughter, was probably around thirteen or so, and
she loved Hollister, like everybody you know twenty years ago
you go into Hollister, and she was so sweet. She
would call from Hollister and say, Dad, there's a shirt
that I want that's thirteen dollars. Can I got it?
(19:05):
And she was so sweet about it. And then I thought, oh,
well that'd be really funny. So I was on the
phone with Steve Lettart and we were trying to find
out like what specifics, like what do the kids that
work at Hollister, what do they drink? And blah blah blah.
And so Steve actually got partial writing credit on that one.
That's se but Alison nailed it. Yeah, and so and
we modeled it completely after the Ludicrous rap and there
(19:27):
was a dated reference in there Pamida, which was kind
of like a Dollar General kind of store, and so
that is what the Pamida means, and it is the
Hollister song by probably fifteen year old Alison. Last fun fact,
back when people used to call radio stations for a
request line. One day we got like sixteen hundred requests
(19:47):
for the HOLLISTERSNG.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
It was like a record. It was nuts. So here
is for the last time, and it's on YouTube. I'm
sure the Hollister song on Kate.
Speaker 8 (20:04):
If you take me to Walmart, then you're not my dad.
If you take me to Walmart, then you're not my dad.
H O l l I s t e R.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
H O l l I s t e R. There's
a store Dad, down at the mall and you can
still it from way down the hall because dis gray
stuff on all their clothes down at Hollister. Oh, spend
(20:39):
spend day, Hollister, Hollister, Hollister, down at Hollister, Hollister Hollisher.
All their clothes are super cute, teasing tins and cameras.
Soup mom, Can I please have a few bucks? Oh,
I don't look like you employees. I'll drink caraboo either
that or jama juice.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
Take me.
Speaker 8 (21:00):
I'll be nice.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
See you all the gay Gushater.
Speaker 8 (21:02):
The American need goes over with they're just so two
thousand and six. You can go, but don't come in
because you're so embarrassing me and my grandfather clothes. Then
we grab our camera phones striking in appropriate pose and
put the pictures on my Space. Hollister Holliser, Holliston, down
at Holliser.
Speaker 15 (21:23):
Hollis Hollister, Oh my god, Alison, gives me a break.
We're on a beer budget. You got champagne taste. I'm
taking you to Pennies and then over to Pomida. You
ain't wearing clothes that show off your booty.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
If you want to go to college, then you have
better well acknowledged that. We gotta shave some money. So
what's wrong with dressing funny?
Speaker 15 (21:46):
I don't want to make you mad, but Walmart really
ain't that mad?
Speaker 8 (21:50):
Of if you take me to Walmart, then you're not
my dad?
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Geeze, yeah, can you give me one hundred million dollars?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
What do you need a hundred fifty dollars for you?
Speaker 4 (21:59):
I'm going to Hollister, got creached.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Up down a Kmar. We'll give me the car. We're
going to kmart.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Let's go kmart.
Speaker 8 (22:04):
Just give me your wallet.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
And just like that, Dave's tattoo is already done.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
That was so quick, you did.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
You looked up and you're like, are you done?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Yeah? Are these?
Speaker 5 (22:16):
Like?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
I don't ways time.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Arthur's the man. He said, I'm not here to waste
somebody's time.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
That was crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah, it says, good bit. Bailey and I are tattoo buddies,
you guy.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Oh sorry, Bailey, I don't know what Mike, you're on.
Now you're on, you're on?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Yeah, good bit.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
And now Dave, when you're like on your deathbed, you'll
look over at it and you'll be like.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Why did I get this?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
No? No, No. What's worse is that every time you
look at your tattoo, yeah, you will be forced to
think of me. Well, I mean.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Everyone in their mom is always like, well, don't tattoos
need to mean something? Blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Why would you get a good bit?
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Well, because this is like an era of my life,
and so now I'll always remember this era of my life.
And now you, I mean, you didn't need to remember
my era of your life, but now you have to.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
No, I mean I kind of have to hear. It's
funny because you know, get a tattoo that means something
to you. I remember Angie Taylor, who will be at
the broadcast. She was on the show for four years
back in the early two thousands. She'll be there on Thursday,
and she told the story of how when she turned eighteen,
she had to go to the casino and to get
her first tattoo. Not the casino, and she goes in
(23:17):
the tattoo shop, Well, what do you want to get?
Speaker 4 (23:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
She decided on a tweety bird on her left shoulder blade. Yeah,
and she hated it because she doesn't care about tweety bird.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And so then whenever she would and tattoos were not
really as in vogue twenty years ago for sure, and
or maybe thirty years ago now, and so she couldn't
go to a wedding and wear like a beautiful off
the shoulder dress or whatever without her ugly giant tweety
bird tattoo.
Speaker 5 (23:47):
Okay, I think that's cute though, because my I had
a cousin, Pam, who had a bugs bunny tattoo right
on her boob, and so as her boobs got bigger in.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Her older age, like the bunny bugs.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
Bunny described to like stretch me and my sister thought
she was the coolest person ever because she had a
tattoo on her boob, and so, Jenny.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
No, I'm good. I'm good on that one. I think
I'm good on that one.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
So well, what's a good bit? You tattoo this on me?
Now gonna happen? No, No, I don't don't even care.
How good I know I met me going to pass
on that way. I respect the hell out of you,
but I want I would be why you know, and
(24:31):
I appreciate that, but I would be ashamed that I
marred up your body.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I don't could go like in the wrong.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I don't know if it would be the wrong skin layer,
but it would be a lot of shakiness. Because the
man drinks so much coffee, it looked like a toddler.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
People would be like, what does that say, Arthur? What
does that say?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
What gotta tell you? What an experience this morning? I
mean everything from Arthur coming in with his lovely wife
Megan over here to do the TA two and then
Pastor Catherine to meet Pastor Catherine and Pastor Molly. The
some of the most fun pastors that you know, I
hope if you go to church you have a fun pastor.
Or what's the Jewish leader? What are the RABBITI right?
(25:14):
What is that? What is a Muslim leader? What do
they called a mom?
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Mom? H?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And what's another religion, Buddhism? What's a Buddhist preacher? Sekkay,
you made that up? You made that? No or the pope?
So anyway, nice, thank you guys for coming in. Stay
as long as you want. And where did where did
Jackie go?
Speaker 7 (25:40):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Had she?
Speaker 3 (25:43):
I think she had a good job?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Right? Okay, gotcha? All right? Here is we're not allowed
to play this bit anymore. Rich forbid this bit from
being on the show probably five years ago. He's like,
day if I just don't really like that bit, what's its?
Just a little what is he going to do? Fire me?
So here is a bit that we are not allowed
to play anymore. It's harvest time here at Dixon Farms.
(26:05):
This time of the year when the weather cools off
and the days gets shorter. The folks at Dixon Farms
know just what hits the spot. Our Dixon Farms apples
make the best sider for miles around. And everyone from
your grandma to your daughter, all want some Dixonsider.
Speaker 16 (26:19):
My best friend Nicole was just telling me she wasn't
in the mood for tea or wine, but some Dixonsiders
sounded just great.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I'll bet your friend would like to try the latest
from Dixon Farms.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Here have some ooh that packs a kick.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yep, that's brand new from Dixon Farms. It carries just
a little more kick. And we think she's gonna love
hard Dixonsider.
Speaker 16 (26:38):
Hard Dixonsider. Wow, that's gotta feel great on a cold night.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
And you bet it's even better if you warm it
up first.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Great idea.
Speaker 16 (26:46):
We like telling the cole how much she'll love hot
hard Dixonsider.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
And on the go, try tiny Dixonsider slips right in
her purse or pocket, or just about anywhere on the bus,
on the plane, even in a stairwell. She'll love tiny Dixonsider.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Well that's nice, but I like mine.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Big dix Insider, perfect on any occasion.
Speaker 10 (27:05):
My aunt says she never wanted Dixon Insider, and we
always wondered about her. Then she tried dix Insider and
she couldn't get enough. Now all she can talk about
is how she wants dix Insider.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Dixonsider guaranteed to hit the spot every time.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
There's still a lot of excitement going on in the
studio right now because now Emily who I don't even
know Emily's title, but she basically does everything around the boss.
She is the boss and now she is getting good
bit tattooed on her. Emily already has really yeah she is,
she's getting right now.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah wow.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
And Dave just ran off to say goodbye to Pastor Catherine,
and now we have another guest.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
In studio and we're just rolling everyone in right now.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
But VN, can you please tell us about what's happening
Thursday morning at the Mall of America.
Speaker 9 (27:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (27:53):
We we're gonna go celebrate David and it's this big
send off show. It's a big broadcast we're doing from
the Rotunda Thursday morning from six to ten, and it's
going to be jam packed with former co host. I
like to compare it to the Avengers Endgame of kdewb
Lee Vols, Vick, Angie Taylor Wilson, Corey Foley, Fallon, Lena
Steve O, Jamie Drake.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Did you say John is Drake?
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Drake is not making it. And who's the last one
I miss?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Do you say, John intern?
Speaker 11 (28:20):
John?
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Yes, so come.
Speaker 11 (28:21):
By your last chance to say that C. Dave before
he goes into a tomb for the rest of his life.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Not an act.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
What is that entrance?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Is the East Entrance? It is?
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, kind of my underwater well. It's called sea World,
sea Life.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah, so if you just type in sea Life, it's
probably going to take you to that. Or if you
know them all of America because you've grown up here,
you will know where the East Entrance is.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
You know, when somebody had the idea and I don't
think there's any way to turn it around in forty
eight hours. Is like Farewell show t shirts? Now, if
we had somebody sponsor those because the radio station's got
no budget, Nope, it wouldn't it be cool if, like,
I don't know, Snap Fitness gave us, like he gave
us fifteen thousand dollars to make up date Ryan and
the Morty show well shirts. Brian is now digging a
(29:02):
hole in the carpet to escape the room. Yes, yeah,
but we should have thought of that. We should have
had like Farewell shirts to try.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
We didn't have much My brain didn't know what was
going on. I came back and I learned about this
broadcast because I was tagged in an Instagram post and
I was like, oh cool, Yeah, but I was excited
because I'm like, this is going to be so lit.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
It has been a crazy week and it's only Tuesday.
So we'll be back here tomorrow, Maul on Thursday, and
then final show from the Space Nagle studio on Friday.
Coming up in a second, we're going to talk to
our friend Brian from snap Fitness to get some fitness
tips for the summer and things, you know, because it's
that time of the year where you're gonna get outside.
Maybe you want to, like, I don't know, drop a
(29:41):
couple of LB's tone up a little bit, how to
stick with it, some different tips for you or four
and if you have any questions you talk about this
guy he is super fit and aren't you an MMA fighter?
What are you boxing? What is it?
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Jushit?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Wow? So here's a who knows about fitness and nutrition.
We'll talk to Brian coming up next.
Speaker 7 (30:03):
K
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