Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Finding Out with Pete and the Poet Gold
and our special series to celebrate Women's History Month titled
Poet Gold Knows Women lead Duchess Luncheon, gathering thirty women
leaders of Duchess County to participate in my workshop on
joy and fear. In the previous segment, the women shared
their joys. Today you will hear the women being courageously
vulnerable sharing their fears. So, now that we've talked about
(00:24):
our joys, let's talk briefly about some of the fears
that may block us from getting to that joy because
that's a real thing. You know, sometimes we don't want
to address it and we can't figure out why are
things going right? It's inside the inner work. So who's
(00:46):
going to be my courageous, vulnerable individual that's going to
take first stab at talking about some fears, some fears
that the group shared.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Lea your table. Fear of failure, M, losing our rights and.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Let's see ignorance M.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, all those can be pretty scary, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Fear of failure? What is that about? What's that anybody
in the room want to Fear of failure?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
How many people sometimes go through fear of failure, whether
we realize it or not, you know, at some point
another yes.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Fear like I've been an educator for over thirty five years,
and every time I get ready to go into a classroom,
I get that feeling of fear of failure, that you're
not accepted, that you're your voice or your thoughts are
(02:03):
don't get across that sort of thing, and a fear
of understanding people understanding you. And for me it's young people.
In order to engage young people, you have to be
able to relate.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Right right, right right.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
You have to walk in the room kind of I
know who you are, you know absolutely anyone else?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Fear of failure before we move on? Real quick? Anyone
else want to share something? No, we can move on.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yes, was it Carmen or Evonne? Someone had to hand up?
Well they both did, okay, so go ahead.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
No.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
I just think that when with that fear of failure,
and then I think about it and then comes like
the joy because when you're in the ars, when you
learn the most, that's when all the learning takes place.
If you're at the acme right nothing, But when you
(03:01):
fall down, that's when all the learning takes place and
all of the epiphanies happen, the epiphanies and and the joy,
and you're inner spirit then talks to you, Yes.
Speaker 7 (03:17):
Why are we still so afraid of it?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Knowing that? Because I feel like we all know that.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Right, But do we know I think we do?
Speaker 7 (03:26):
What do we actually follow?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Because I think we all I think.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Emotional right, right, And I think I think in that moment,
we don't necessarily embrace it to to feel it and
believe it. They have the faith to believe it emotionally
that we're going to get through. And so I think
that's where the panic sets in. People begin to panic.
Oh my god, I just know what's going on. I've
(03:54):
never been here before, And yes you have. It's just
in a different type of setting, different type of circustances,
but you've been in that space of pain. It may
have been a different ingredient, but it's the same sort
of space. So I think part of what you're saying
is that is the embracing of it emotionally, going from
(04:16):
the head to the heart, which is in the same place.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
But you know, I think.
Speaker 8 (04:20):
It's partly fear that will be separated from other people
that if you fail that other people are going to
criticize you, or attack you or abandon you, and that
you know you're only going to be loved and cared
for by other people if you succeed. Right, So there
is that kind of emotional piece. You may believe it
in your head, but you have to believe you have
a community of people who will lift you up and
support you in case of bad times.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
So then are we talking about being afraid of that
or belonging?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So you see how you begin to.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Unwrap where the fear is really maybe coming from.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You know, it's a really good point. How are people
looking at me?
Speaker 9 (05:06):
Because that thing is because people have such a high
expectation here, and that fear comes when you don't feel
like your eugene.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Their expectations right, right, which is connected to which is
connected to the belonging right, their expectation right which where
we started someone else's story of you, your name? How
do you see yourself in that space? How do you
(05:37):
grab yourself in that moment when I don't meet your expectation,
I'm gifted.
Speaker 10 (05:43):
Go.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
You may not know what that the definition of that
is for you. It may you may think, oh, she
thinks she's a president to everybody No, your presence is
a present to me. That's the gift. Every way it
comes right, because I'm getting the epiphany from the fiction.
(06:07):
The friction is teaching me. As I walk through the
fire in the valley a Dad, I'm learning how not
to be bound.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
I think COVID was a good example for all of us,
that isolation and that feeling of depression and having to
deal with your own spirit and soul, have to look inward,
couldn't look outwards for other people who had to bear.
Speaker 11 (06:31):
The black group.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
And I think I think it's women. We have.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
That unique caring space, that empathy that we're born into
that we can share with others.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yes, Mike, you know the show.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Okay, gorgeous, Okay, get on that microphone.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
So, okay, which table have we not done? We did right?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
We got these two over here, right, and we taught
when the fear.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Topic, did you share your fears? Okay?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
So let's share some fears here.
Speaker 12 (07:21):
So three fears not being good enough, being empty, nothing
to contribute what I have, not living out your purpose, messing.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Up, being empty, not being able to contribute. That's like empty,
you know, not living out your purpose, not living out
your purpose?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
How do you find your purpose? How do you know?
How do you know for you what your purpose is?
That that's a challenging one, right, you know, to really.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Get our purpose because there's so much distraction, Right, there's
so much distraction.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Work can be a distraction.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
If we're not working in spaces that we want to
be in, we're not connecting with our joy through our work.
Most of you, I think most of you are in
places where you're connecting with your joy through your work.
Even in the most challenging moment. You wouldn't be someplace else.
We can't do the work we do without the joy,
(08:36):
even though it's exhausting sometimes.
Speaker 13 (08:38):
Yes, And I was thinking to that point you were
saying your purpose and also enjoying the ride or the
adventure on that journey instead of that destination. I think
that that is a struggle I know I've had in
finding what my purpose is. Is that you know, the
(08:59):
roadmap I thought was a straight line, which it's not
right everyone right, it's not a straight line. And still
finding my purpose, you know, not that I'm not in
the right place where I am currently because I am
I'm supposed to be in this place. But is it
where I'm going to end up who knows, you know,
(09:20):
it's a part of that journey to fulfill my purpose.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Being present something key you started with, you know, being
being present? Right, being present. There's a philosophy name of
Krishnamurti and he has a book out called Think on
These Things. And one of the things he says, are
we listening if you're formulating the question while the speaker
is speaking. Being present sometimes is the hardest thing, even
(09:47):
for myself, the hardest thing you have to practice it
to be present.
Speaker 14 (09:51):
Yes, I just heard this great quote recently that I'm
going to do in word art. As you know some
of your know I make art word art. It's I
will learn nothing from what I say today?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Love that? Can you repeat that nice and loud?
Speaker 14 (10:16):
I will learn nothing from what I say today?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Right, beautiful? Thank you for sharing that. I just wanted to.
Speaker 12 (10:26):
I have a sign in my office as trust your journey,
so going along with her and just understanding. And it
goes back to joy with the point of continue what's
happiness because happiness enjoyed two different things, but the word
and continue what's happening happiness no matter your circumstance, And
that goes into your purpose because you know life, life's
(10:49):
life be lifing as you know, and things, and we
go through things, but not being distracted or detort or
being defeated and what's going on, and still trusting in
your journey, knowing that I had to go through that,
I had to experience that to be where I'm at,
because if I didn't, I wouldn't be where I'm at.
(11:10):
So understanding your purpose like, Okay, things, God, things ain't
going away that I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Go, but it ain't. It ain't my plan with your friend,
So you know, you.
Speaker 12 (11:19):
Got to be focused and even even through the rough times,
you just keep it moving and keep moving forward, keep
pressing forward, and you will walk in your purpose because
it's not it's not easy right for your purpose, but
you begin to understand it as you're walking through everything
that comes at you in life.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Thank you, Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 10 (11:40):
If I can piggyback on this jur Yes, of course
that's where.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
It keeps coming up.
Speaker 10 (11:44):
And we talk about purpose, but I mean, some people
might have one purpose that they're aiming for and it's
the journey to get.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
To that purpose.
Speaker 10 (11:52):
But I feel like for many of us, there's many purposes.
So you know, there's many ways we can find purpose
and express purpose, and there's you know, and that's part
of being present in each opportunity and every step along
the way, which is the journey. But you know, I
don't think for me, there's one purpose in life, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
And you get to your mentors to say, you know,
you're going to find goal that you're going to get
to your destination and find out that it didn't end,
and you're going to look at there's going to be
another horizon, you know. So it's like a tree. You
may be the tree the trunk, but there are many branches,
(12:35):
but you start with the trunk. You start with that
one thing and then like Jesse said, you branch out here,
branch out there.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
So long would you have the time on earth to
do it? Fear? Do I get everyone's table? Did you
guys backtable? Did you do it? Okay? Give us something
that maybe someone hasn't talked about. Seeing others suffer.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
That's a hard one, right, loss of finances, And this
is one that I don't think anybody mentioned some men.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I think it goes with both ways.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Absolutely seeing others suffer, that's that human connection. You know,
a little child falls down a sewer hole in another
state and everyone's crying. You don't know the parents, you
don't know the child, but somehow you're glued to that
(13:42):
television and we're all crying. That's that electric, spiritual human connection,
a right that connects us all. And ninety nine point
(14:05):
nine percent of human beings will find it hard regardless
to watch someone suffer. It's affecting them one way or another. Yeah,
thank you for sharing that. Thank you guys for sharing.
One shared, Everyone shared. Fears, No, you haven't gone Okay,
(14:28):
I'm sorry, my apologies.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Go for it.
Speaker 15 (14:32):
Madeline fears we haven't heard of cancer happening again, being unhealthy, illness,
unpleasant surprises, total body function and ability to create and
(14:52):
mothering my brown son and daughter.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Let's talk about health. You know, I brought this up,
uncertainty health. I think probably I could be wrong, but
you know everyone in here, I think probably someone in
your family has been impacted by some disease or you know, deadlier. Otherwise,
how does health make you feel? Or the lacklier of.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Anyone? Want to go for it. You can be a
personal experience, you know, not having control over your body.
Speaker 14 (15:27):
Yes, Sabrina, just experiencing this in twenty twenty four for.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
The first time. I know, go ahead, let it go,
thank you, let it go.
Speaker 16 (15:44):
I'm being afraid of your life, of your destiny changing
because of something completely out of your control. Is a challenging.
Speaker 17 (15:58):
Life.
Speaker 5 (15:59):
Lesson.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I think you know in this space there have been
people of Lord's parents, siblings due to unexpected health situations,
and it's hard, you know, and the grieving never really stops.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
You know, even though.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
You can be grieving for the own loss of your
own body. An artist that loses the ability to paint,
a singer that loses the ability to sing, it's life chating.
A ballplayer that can't go play ball now, it's life chanting.
(16:43):
And somehow our community plays a huge role on how
we survive that. Yes, uncle Mike, I.
Speaker 18 (16:55):
Know I don't qualify as a woman in the room.
But one of the things we've been pushing hard. You're
talking about health. Let's talk about mental health because mental
health is a very serious problem in this county and
around the country that has been neglected. MHA is doing
a great job. Family Service is doing a great job,
but they're smaller organizations trying to beat a bigger problem.
(17:18):
I think mental health is one of the things most
people don't want to talk about. And mental health is
an illness. If you're appendix burst or you break your arm,
you go to a doctor. If you're depressed, you're anxious,
you don't go to a doctor. It's the same thing.
And I hate to tell you that mental illness ends badly.
It ends in suicide is where it ends if it's
not treated. So I think that's one of the things.
(17:40):
And I'm sorry to interrupt you, but what you're all
talking about, and Leah will tell you and anybody else
that deals with mental health, it's a serious problem. MHA
is doing a lot, especially they're trying to help children now,
because even children have mental problems, mental health problems. So
I think that's one of the things that you really
got to address.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Thank you, thank you, and yes, Maddelin no, I'm gonna
give the floor to you.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 15 (18:06):
And I think it's also important to talk about access,
access of education, access of getting to a provider, or
even the cultural awareness and acceptance of even acknowledging that
mental health is a thing. Growing up as a Dominican
American and my family if you even said the word
depression and the responsibill which pretty much says you're not crazy.
So I think that there needs to be just more,
(18:29):
you know, amplifying the message about not just mental health.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
It's like, what is that? How does it show up?
Speaker 15 (18:35):
You know, we spoke about the village earlier and the support,
and I feel like it's a it's a common thread
and just about everything we're talking about so far, but
like access to everything, just the acceptance, the having a
desire to speak to someone. And it's like, how do
you even pinpoint what's affecting you and that you're gonna
call it mental health when.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
This is all you've dealt with all your life?
Speaker 15 (18:53):
Right as a young woman woman of color that is
actively involved with mental health care, it took a long
time for me to even create that paradigm shift in
my head that the things that I was seeking support
for were the things that I've learned to survive my
entire life, to deal with, overcome and thrive in the process.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
So it's more than just access.
Speaker 15 (19:12):
And I applaud every single person an organization that's doing
something for it. But we need to talk more about
it and accept it, to make it more culturally appropriate
to say about what that is.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That's my piece, Yes, thank you.
Speaker 7 (19:28):
Yes, I think that also goes to one of our words.
It's in fear, which is vulnerability, right, which is something
that you spoke about, And it's the ability to say
those things like once you recognize it, right, to be
able to say you know or if you're going. It's
something honestly that I've talked about as openly as humanly
(19:50):
possible is saying that I'm in therapy and be like, oh,
I'm a therapist.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Help me with that.
Speaker 7 (19:54):
To make it okay with whoever I'm with, Yeah, to
normalize the conversation and for someone who might see me
out and about I'm most times with a smile on
my face, very energetic, and to say that this is
how I present myself in the world, and yes, I
am going to therapy. I think that it can help.
So and it's that vulnerability to make it more acceptable
(20:18):
once you are able to recognize it, because it is
like it's it's very difficult.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Right, thank you. Yes, Yvonne.
Speaker 17 (20:29):
Hello, Yes, I just wanted to bring up too, and
I'm glad that We're talking about this because I do
have a grandson that suffers from bipolar disorder, and many
of you know him, and throughout his childhood he wasn't
accepted and there wasn't quality services that were out there
to assist him. And now he's getting older and he
(20:50):
has the fear of being able to survive in the
world and knowing that, you know, he has Grandma with him,
but when he starts seeing things happening to me, wondering
where are you going to be here? Because he's afraid
if something happens to me, he doesn't know what to do.
So it's really trying to teach him to be self sufficient,
but I'm finding it very difficult and navigating even through
(21:12):
around here about how to do that for him. So
we need to be talking about that more so that way,
we're making sure that we have quality services for our
kids so that they know as they become adults, that
they're going to be able to survive and be able
to navigate this mental illness that they have.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Right, and there's a lot of you know, put it
out there on the table with a lot of power
brokers here in the room, ladies, you know, we can
we can get together and really help push this forward
so that it is addressed for our children.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
This is our community, you know, this is our community.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yes, I.
Speaker 19 (21:54):
Hope that we will be able to teach our children
to be more sympathetic and empathy instead of instead of
the bullying and everything, but to teach them that other
people have the same feelings, the same emotions that we have,
and we need to be and that they need to
be sensitive to it. This issue of children in our
(22:18):
schools now who are in danger of being deported, and
the thing is, oh, you're men, you're getting deported, but
no sensitivity, you know. We we have to we have
to teach and that's a village thing, right that has
to teach it.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
It's not just in the home. It's not just in
the school, it's not just in the church. It's not
just in the politics. It's in everything that we have
to teach empathy and sympathy for what others are going
through because we don't know what others are going through
and it's our responsibility to be sensitive to that.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
We have to model it, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And it's one of the reasons why I want to
call this Women Lead Duchess Dutchess County. We have to
model it no matter what's going on anyplace else.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
It starts at home. We live here.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
We have to model the goodness, the communication, the patience, right,
the respect, the embrace.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
We model it.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
And if we can start it here, who knows, maybe
somebody wants to make a template out of it, and
then we can market it everywhere else.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yes, yeah, I.
Speaker 9 (23:30):
Just wanted to say, from generation to generation, if we
do that, teach and train, you know, because I always
tell my folk, I'm not turning all the way around.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
To see who's following me.
Speaker 9 (23:47):
I'm looking right over my shoulder like this to see
who's following. So we can pass the mantle from generation
to generation.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Less thing. If you had.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Or could in part to another woman a golden nugget
to keep the joy alive in them, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I'll repeat it. If you can impart to another woman
a golden nugget to keep the joy alive in them,
what would it be? The elevator's going up, you're on
the fifth floor. You know they're getting off on the
sixth floor. What would you say, anyone, love yourself, Love yourself? Yes,
(24:37):
got this? You got this? You're not alone. You're not alone.
Speaker 20 (24:43):
We're on the same team.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
We're on the same team. It works out in the end,
It works out in the end.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Go girl, Go girl. Come on, I know this some
more out here. I love these. Joy comes in the morning. Ooh,
joy comes in the morning. It's right your eyes anyone.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Else turn to the person to the left or right
of you and say you are beautiful, and so am
I You are beautiful.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
You are beautiful. So I.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Want to thank you guys for coming to because it's
it's like one twenty six, one twenty six to the
second annual Women Lead Duchess. Poe Gold knows Women Lead
Duchess because you do. I appreciate you. You know, the
community that you impact appreciates you. You know, even though
(25:42):
you may not hear it every day.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Give me a sense, Well, what was your impression.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I loved every minute of it.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
It was so beautiful, such empowerment of women and just
supporting and just the kindness and the beauty.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
It was wonderful.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
Thank you. Okay, that's Tracy McKenzie. O A family glituates.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Can you give us a sense of how you think
today went?
Speaker 20 (26:22):
Today was fantastic. I was telling public Goal that getting
ready to come here, I always say, oh, I have
so many other things I really need to be doing.
Do I have time to have this nice luncheon? And
then I get here and I can't believe I even
thought that. It's always so enriching and inspiring.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
Executive directions that reached for a nice light and we you,
thank you, goodbye. I could have von Flower's mayor, because
can you give me a sense of how you thought
today went?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Oh, it was a beautiful day.
Speaker 17 (26:55):
I mean the fact that we are the women leaders
can come together and be vulnerable in a role and.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Feel comfortable sharing with each other. It was great.
Speaker 17 (27:03):
So I really appreciate what Gold did here because it's
really empowering.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
Amen, and thank you, Jesse, Shirruby from you from this
is Jessie Serrubi from Family Services and Jesse were wondering
what you thought, how you thought things when today it
was beautiful?
Speaker 10 (27:29):
I don't want to leave. I want to stay right
here with Gold and all these amazing women and you.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
Amen, thank you. Did they get a comment for you
on this? Can you give us a comment on how
you thought things when today?
Speaker 11 (27:46):
Soup, I think when women come together, we can get
so much done, and we talk about things that are
sensitive but are really meaningful. So I love the opportunity
to be able to have this conversation today.
Speaker 5 (27:59):
I appreciate that. From sucer reno, Io County Executive.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Thank you, thanks for listening to finding out with Pete
and the Poe of Gold.
Speaker 21 (28:11):
I walked through a county courthouse square on a park
bench and old man I was sitting there. I said,
your old courthouse is kind of run down. He said, no,
it'll do for our little town. I said, your old
flag pole is leaning a little bit, and that's a
ragged old flag you gotta hanging on it. He said,
(28:32):
have a seat, and I said down. Is this the
first time you've been to our little town. I said,
I think it is. He said, I don't like to brag,
but we're kind of proud of that ragged old flag.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
You see.
Speaker 21 (28:50):
We got a little hole in that flag there when
Washington took it across the Delaware and it got powder
burned the night that Francis Scott Key said watching it
right and say can you see? And it got a
bad rip in New Orleans with Packingham and Jackson tugging
(29:14):
at it seemed, and it almost fell at the Alamo
beside the Texas flag.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
But she waved on, though.
Speaker 21 (29:25):
She got cut with the sword at Chancellor's Ville, and
she got cut again at Shiloh Hill. There was Robert E. Lee,
Borrigard and Bragg in the south wind. Blew hard on
that ragged old flag on flanders Field. In World War One,
(29:46):
she got a big hole from a berth of God.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Wj IP Ellenville number one on your car radio.
Speaker 8 (29:53):
Preset had then new had improved iHeartRadio app wk IP
Forkeepsie Freed.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
Never sounded so good.
Welcome to Finding Out with Pete and the Poet Gold
and our special series to celebrate Women's History Month titled
Poet Gold Knows Women lead Duchess Luncheon, gathering thirty women
leaders of Duchess County to participate in my workshop on
joy and fear. In the previous segment, the women shared
their joys. Today you will hear the women being courageously
vulnerable sharing their fears. So, now that we've talked about
(00:24):
our joys, let's talk briefly about some of the fears
that may block us from getting to that joy because
that's a real thing. You know, sometimes we don't want
to address it and we can't figure out why are
things going right? It's inside the inner work. So who's
(00:46):
going to be my courageous, vulnerable individual that's going to
take first stab at talking about some fears, some fears
that the group shared.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Lea your table. Fear of failure, M, losing our rights and.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Let's see ignorance M.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, all those can be pretty scary, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Fear of failure? What is that about? What's that anybody
in the room want to Fear of failure?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
How many people sometimes go through fear of failure, whether
we realize it or not, you know, at some point
another yes.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Fear like I've been an educator for over thirty five years,
and every time I get ready to go into a classroom,
I get that feeling of fear of failure, that you're
not accepted, that you're your voice or your thoughts are
(02:03):
don't get across that sort of thing, and a fear
of understanding people understanding you. And for me it's young people.
In order to engage young people, you have to be
able to relate.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Right right, right right.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
You have to walk in the room kind of I
know who you are, you know absolutely anyone else?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Fear of failure before we move on? Real quick? Anyone
else want to share something? No, we can move on.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yes, was it Carmen or Evonne? Someone had to hand up?
Well they both did, okay, so go ahead.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
No.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
I just think that when with that fear of failure,
and then I think about it and then comes like
the joy because when you're in the ars, when you
learn the most, that's when all the learning takes place.
If you're at the acme right nothing, But when you
(03:01):
fall down, that's when all the learning takes place and
all of the epiphanies happen, the epiphanies and and the joy,
and you're inner spirit then talks to you, Yes.
Speaker 7 (03:17):
Why are we still so afraid of it?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Knowing that? Because I feel like we all know that.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Right, But do we know I think we do?
Speaker 7 (03:26):
What do we actually follow?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Because I think we all I think.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Emotional right, right, And I think I think in that moment,
we don't necessarily embrace it to to feel it and
believe it. They have the faith to believe it emotionally
that we're going to get through. And so I think
that's where the panic sets in. People begin to panic.
Oh my god, I just know what's going on. I've
(03:54):
never been here before, And yes you have. It's just
in a different type of setting, different type of circustances,
but you've been in that space of pain. It may
have been a different ingredient, but it's the same sort
of space. So I think part of what you're saying
is that is the embracing of it emotionally, going from
(04:16):
the head to the heart, which is in the same place.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
But you know, I think.
Speaker 8 (04:20):
It's partly fear that will be separated from other people
that if you fail that other people are going to
criticize you, or attack you or abandon you, and that
you know you're only going to be loved and cared
for by other people if you succeed. Right, So there
is that kind of emotional piece. You may believe it
in your head, but you have to believe you have
a community of people who will lift you up and
support you in case of bad times.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
So then are we talking about being afraid of that
or belonging?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So you see how you begin to.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Unwrap where the fear is really maybe coming from.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You know, it's a really good point. How are people
looking at me?
Speaker 9 (05:06):
Because that thing is because people have such a high
expectation here, and that fear comes when you don't feel
like your eugene.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Their expectations right, right, which is connected to which is
connected to the belonging right, their expectation right which where
we started someone else's story of you, your name? How
do you see yourself in that space? How do you
(05:37):
grab yourself in that moment when I don't meet your expectation,
I'm gifted.
Speaker 10 (05:43):
Go.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
You may not know what that the definition of that
is for you. It may you may think, oh, she
thinks she's a president to everybody No, your presence is
a present to me. That's the gift. Every way it
comes right, because I'm getting the epiphany from the fiction.
(06:07):
The friction is teaching me. As I walk through the
fire in the valley a Dad, I'm learning how not
to be bound.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
I think COVID was a good example for all of us,
that isolation and that feeling of depression and having to
deal with your own spirit and soul, have to look inward,
couldn't look outwards for other people who had to bear.
Speaker 11 (06:31):
The black group.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
And I think I think it's women. We have.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
That unique caring space, that empathy that we're born into
that we can share with others.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yes, Mike, you know the show.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Okay, gorgeous, Okay, get on that microphone.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
So, okay, which table have we not done? We did right?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
We got these two over here, right, and we taught
when the fear.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Topic, did you share your fears? Okay?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
So let's share some fears here.
Speaker 12 (07:21):
So three fears not being good enough, being empty, nothing
to contribute what I have, not living out your purpose, messing.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Up, being empty, not being able to contribute. That's like empty,
you know, not living out your purpose, not living out
your purpose?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
How do you find your purpose? How do you know?
How do you know for you what your purpose is?
That that's a challenging one, right, you know, to really.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Get our purpose because there's so much distraction, Right, there's
so much distraction.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Work can be a distraction.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
If we're not working in spaces that we want to
be in, we're not connecting with our joy through our work.
Most of you, I think most of you are in
places where you're connecting with your joy through your work.
Even in the most challenging moment. You wouldn't be someplace else.
We can't do the work we do without the joy,
(08:36):
even though it's exhausting sometimes.
Speaker 13 (08:38):
Yes, And I was thinking to that point you were
saying your purpose and also enjoying the ride or the
adventure on that journey instead of that destination. I think
that that is a struggle I know I've had in
finding what my purpose is. Is that you know, the
(08:59):
roadmap I thought was a straight line, which it's not
right everyone right, it's not a straight line. And still
finding my purpose, you know, not that I'm not in
the right place where I am currently because I am
I'm supposed to be in this place. But is it
where I'm going to end up who knows, you know,
(09:20):
it's a part of that journey to fulfill my purpose.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Being present something key you started with, you know, being
being present? Right, being present. There's a philosophy name of
Krishnamurti and he has a book out called Think on
These Things. And one of the things he says, are
we listening if you're formulating the question while the speaker
is speaking. Being present sometimes is the hardest thing, even
(09:47):
for myself, the hardest thing you have to practice it
to be present.
Speaker 14 (09:51):
Yes, I just heard this great quote recently that I'm
going to do in word art. As you know some
of your know I make art word art. It's I
will learn nothing from what I say today?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Love that? Can you repeat that nice and loud?
Speaker 14 (10:16):
I will learn nothing from what I say today?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Right, beautiful? Thank you for sharing that. I just wanted to.
Speaker 12 (10:26):
I have a sign in my office as trust your journey,
so going along with her and just understanding. And it
goes back to joy with the point of continue what's
happiness because happiness enjoyed two different things, but the word
and continue what's happening happiness no matter your circumstance, And
that goes into your purpose because you know life, life's
(10:49):
life be lifing as you know, and things, and we
go through things, but not being distracted or detort or
being defeated and what's going on, and still trusting in
your journey, knowing that I had to go through that,
I had to experience that to be where I'm at,
because if I didn't, I wouldn't be where I'm at.
(11:10):
So understanding your purpose like, Okay, things, God, things ain't
going away that I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Go, but it ain't. It ain't my plan with your friend,
So you know, you.
Speaker 12 (11:19):
Got to be focused and even even through the rough times,
you just keep it moving and keep moving forward, keep
pressing forward, and you will walk in your purpose because
it's not it's not easy right for your purpose, but
you begin to understand it as you're walking through everything
that comes at you in life.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Thank you, Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 10 (11:40):
If I can piggyback on this jur Yes, of course
that's where.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
It keeps coming up.
Speaker 10 (11:44):
And we talk about purpose, but I mean, some people
might have one purpose that they're aiming for and it's
the journey to get.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
To that purpose.
Speaker 10 (11:52):
But I feel like for many of us, there's many purposes.
So you know, there's many ways we can find purpose
and express purpose, and there's you know, and that's part
of being present in each opportunity and every step along
the way, which is the journey. But you know, I
don't think for me, there's one purpose in life, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
And you get to your mentors to say, you know,
you're going to find goal that you're going to get
to your destination and find out that it didn't end,
and you're going to look at there's going to be
another horizon, you know. So it's like a tree. You
may be the tree the trunk, but there are many branches,
(12:35):
but you start with the trunk. You start with that
one thing and then like Jesse said, you branch out here,
branch out there.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
So long would you have the time on earth to
do it? Fear? Do I get everyone's table? Did you
guys backtable? Did you do it? Okay? Give us something
that maybe someone hasn't talked about. Seeing others suffer.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
That's a hard one, right, loss of finances, And this
is one that I don't think anybody mentioned some men.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I think it goes with both ways.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Absolutely seeing others suffer, that's that human connection. You know,
a little child falls down a sewer hole in another
state and everyone's crying. You don't know the parents, you
don't know the child, but somehow you're glued to that
(13:42):
television and we're all crying. That's that electric, spiritual human connection,
a right that connects us all. And ninety nine point
(14:05):
nine percent of human beings will find it hard regardless
to watch someone suffer. It's affecting them one way or another. Yeah,
thank you for sharing that. Thank you guys for sharing.
One shared, Everyone shared. Fears, No, you haven't gone Okay,
(14:28):
I'm sorry, my apologies.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Go for it.
Speaker 15 (14:32):
Madeline fears we haven't heard of cancer happening again, being unhealthy, illness,
unpleasant surprises, total body function and ability to create and
(14:52):
mothering my brown son and daughter.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Let's talk about health. You know, I brought this up,
uncertainty health. I think probably I could be wrong, but
you know everyone in here, I think probably someone in
your family has been impacted by some disease or you know, deadlier. Otherwise,
how does health make you feel? Or the lacklier of.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Anyone? Want to go for it. You can be a
personal experience, you know, not having control over your body.
Speaker 14 (15:27):
Yes, Sabrina, just experiencing this in twenty twenty four for.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
The first time. I know, go ahead, let it go,
thank you, let it go.
Speaker 16 (15:44):
I'm being afraid of your life, of your destiny changing
because of something completely out of your control. Is a challenging.
Speaker 17 (15:58):
Life.
Speaker 5 (15:59):
Lesson.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I think you know in this space there have been
people of Lord's parents, siblings due to unexpected health situations,
and it's hard, you know, and the grieving never really stops.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
You know, even though.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
You can be grieving for the own loss of your
own body. An artist that loses the ability to paint,
a singer that loses the ability to sing, it's life chating.
A ballplayer that can't go play ball now, it's life chanting.
(16:43):
And somehow our community plays a huge role on how
we survive that. Yes, uncle Mike, I.
Speaker 18 (16:55):
Know I don't qualify as a woman in the room.
But one of the things we've been pushing hard. You're
talking about health. Let's talk about mental health because mental
health is a very serious problem in this county and
around the country that has been neglected. MHA is doing
a great job. Family Service is doing a great job,
but they're smaller organizations trying to beat a bigger problem.
(17:18):
I think mental health is one of the things most
people don't want to talk about. And mental health is
an illness. If you're appendix burst or you break your arm,
you go to a doctor. If you're depressed, you're anxious,
you don't go to a doctor. It's the same thing.
And I hate to tell you that mental illness ends badly.
It ends in suicide is where it ends if it's
not treated. So I think that's one of the things.
(17:40):
And I'm sorry to interrupt you, but what you're all
talking about, and Leah will tell you and anybody else
that deals with mental health, it's a serious problem. MHA
is doing a lot, especially they're trying to help children now,
because even children have mental problems, mental health problems. So
I think that's one of the things that you really
got to address.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Thank you, thank you, and yes, Maddelin no, I'm gonna
give the floor to you.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 15 (18:06):
And I think it's also important to talk about access,
access of education, access of getting to a provider, or
even the cultural awareness and acceptance of even acknowledging that
mental health is a thing. Growing up as a Dominican
American and my family if you even said the word
depression and the responsibill which pretty much says you're not crazy.
So I think that there needs to be just more,
(18:29):
you know, amplifying the message about not just mental health.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
It's like, what is that? How does it show up?
Speaker 15 (18:35):
You know, we spoke about the village earlier and the support,
and I feel like it's a it's a common thread
and just about everything we're talking about so far, but
like access to everything, just the acceptance, the having a
desire to speak to someone. And it's like, how do
you even pinpoint what's affecting you and that you're gonna
call it mental health when.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
This is all you've dealt with all your life?
Speaker 15 (18:53):
Right as a young woman woman of color that is
actively involved with mental health care, it took a long
time for me to even create that paradigm shift in
my head that the things that I was seeking support
for were the things that I've learned to survive my
entire life, to deal with, overcome and thrive in the process.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
So it's more than just access.
Speaker 15 (19:12):
And I applaud every single person an organization that's doing
something for it. But we need to talk more about
it and accept it, to make it more culturally appropriate
to say about what that is.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That's my piece, Yes, thank you.
Speaker 7 (19:28):
Yes, I think that also goes to one of our words.
It's in fear, which is vulnerability, right, which is something
that you spoke about, And it's the ability to say
those things like once you recognize it, right, to be
able to say you know or if you're going. It's
something honestly that I've talked about as openly as humanly
(19:50):
possible is saying that I'm in therapy and be like, oh,
I'm a therapist.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Help me with that.
Speaker 7 (19:54):
To make it okay with whoever I'm with, Yeah, to
normalize the conversation and for someone who might see me
out and about I'm most times with a smile on
my face, very energetic, and to say that this is
how I present myself in the world, and yes, I
am going to therapy. I think that it can help.
So and it's that vulnerability to make it more acceptable
(20:18):
once you are able to recognize it, because it is
like it's it's very difficult.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Right, thank you. Yes, Yvonne.
Speaker 17 (20:29):
Hello, Yes, I just wanted to bring up too, and
I'm glad that We're talking about this because I do
have a grandson that suffers from bipolar disorder, and many
of you know him, and throughout his childhood he wasn't
accepted and there wasn't quality services that were out there
to assist him. And now he's getting older and he
(20:50):
has the fear of being able to survive in the
world and knowing that, you know, he has Grandma with him,
but when he starts seeing things happening to me, wondering
where are you going to be here? Because he's afraid
if something happens to me, he doesn't know what to do.
So it's really trying to teach him to be self sufficient,
but I'm finding it very difficult and navigating even through
(21:12):
around here about how to do that for him. So
we need to be talking about that more so that way,
we're making sure that we have quality services for our
kids so that they know as they become adults, that
they're going to be able to survive and be able
to navigate this mental illness that they have.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Right, and there's a lot of you know, put it
out there on the table with a lot of power
brokers here in the room, ladies, you know, we can
we can get together and really help push this forward
so that it is addressed for our children.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
This is our community, you know, this is our community.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yes, I.
Speaker 19 (21:54):
Hope that we will be able to teach our children
to be more sympathetic and empathy instead of instead of
the bullying and everything, but to teach them that other
people have the same feelings, the same emotions that we have,
and we need to be and that they need to
be sensitive to it. This issue of children in our
(22:18):
schools now who are in danger of being deported, and
the thing is, oh, you're men, you're getting deported, but
no sensitivity, you know. We we have to we have
to teach and that's a village thing, right that has
to teach it.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
It's not just in the home. It's not just in
the school, it's not just in the church. It's not
just in the politics. It's in everything that we have
to teach empathy and sympathy for what others are going
through because we don't know what others are going through
and it's our responsibility to be sensitive to that.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
We have to model it, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And it's one of the reasons why I want to
call this Women Lead Duchess Dutchess County. We have to
model it no matter what's going on anyplace else.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
It starts at home. We live here.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
We have to model the goodness, the communication, the patience, right,
the respect, the embrace.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
We model it.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
And if we can start it here, who knows, maybe
somebody wants to make a template out of it, and
then we can market it everywhere else.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yes, yeah, I.
Speaker 9 (23:30):
Just wanted to say, from generation to generation, if we
do that, teach and train, you know, because I always
tell my folk, I'm not turning all the way around.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
To see who's following me.
Speaker 9 (23:47):
I'm looking right over my shoulder like this to see
who's following. So we can pass the mantle from generation
to generation.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Less thing. If you had.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Or could in part to another woman a golden nugget
to keep the joy alive in them, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I'll repeat it. If you can impart to another woman
a golden nugget to keep the joy alive in them,
what would it be? The elevator's going up, you're on
the fifth floor. You know they're getting off on the
sixth floor. What would you say, anyone, love yourself, Love yourself? Yes,
(24:37):
got this? You got this? You're not alone. You're not alone.
Speaker 20 (24:43):
We're on the same team.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
We're on the same team. It works out in the end,
It works out in the end.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Go girl, Go girl. Come on, I know this some
more out here. I love these. Joy comes in the morning. Ooh,
joy comes in the morning. It's right your eyes anyone.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Else turn to the person to the left or right
of you and say you are beautiful, and so am
I You are beautiful.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
You are beautiful. So I.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Want to thank you guys for coming to because it's
it's like one twenty six, one twenty six to the
second annual Women Lead Duchess. Poe Gold knows Women Lead
Duchess because you do. I appreciate you. You know, the
community that you impact appreciates you. You know, even though
(25:42):
you may not hear it every day.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Give me a sense, Well, what was your impression.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I loved every minute of it.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
It was so beautiful, such empowerment of women and just
supporting and just the kindness and the beauty.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
It was wonderful.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
Thank you. Okay, that's Tracy McKenzie. O A family glituates.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Can you give us a sense of how you think
today went?
Speaker 20 (26:22):
Today was fantastic. I was telling public Goal that getting
ready to come here, I always say, oh, I have
so many other things I really need to be doing.
Do I have time to have this nice luncheon? And
then I get here and I can't believe I even
thought that. It's always so enriching and inspiring.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
Executive directions that reached for a nice light and we you,
thank you, goodbye. I could have von Flower's mayor, because
can you give me a sense of how you thought
today went?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Oh, it was a beautiful day.
Speaker 17 (26:55):
I mean the fact that we are the women leaders
can come together and be vulnerable in a role and.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Feel comfortable sharing with each other. It was great.
Speaker 17 (27:03):
So I really appreciate what Gold did here because it's
really empowering.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
Amen, and thank you, Jesse, Shirruby from you from this
is Jessie Serrubi from Family Services and Jesse were wondering
what you thought, how you thought things when today it
was beautiful?
Speaker 10 (27:29):
I don't want to leave. I want to stay right
here with Gold and all these amazing women and you.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
Amen, thank you. Did they get a comment for you
on this? Can you give us a comment on how
you thought things when today?
Speaker 11 (27:46):
Soup, I think when women come together, we can get
so much done, and we talk about things that are
sensitive but are really meaningful. So I love the opportunity
to be able to have this conversation today.
Speaker 5 (27:59):
I appreciate that. From sucer reno, Io County Executive.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Thank you, thanks for listening to finding out with Pete
and the Poe of Gold.
Speaker 21 (28:11):
I walked through a county courthouse square on a park
bench and old man I was sitting there. I said,
your old courthouse is kind of run down. He said, no,
it'll do for our little town. I said, your old
flag pole is leaning a little bit, and that's a
ragged old flag you gotta hanging on it. He said,
(28:32):
have a seat, and I said down. Is this the
first time you've been to our little town. I said,
I think it is. He said, I don't like to brag,
but we're kind of proud of that ragged old flag.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
You see.
Speaker 21 (28:50):
We got a little hole in that flag there when
Washington took it across the Delaware and it got powder
burned the night that Francis Scott Key said watching it
right and say can you see? And it got a
bad rip in New Orleans with Packingham and Jackson tugging
(29:14):
at it seemed, and it almost fell at the Alamo
beside the Texas flag.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
But she waved on, though.
Speaker 21 (29:25):
She got cut with the sword at Chancellor's Ville, and
she got cut again at Shiloh Hill. There was Robert E. Lee,
Borrigard and Bragg in the south wind. Blew hard on
that ragged old flag on flanders Field. In World War One,
(29:46):
she got a big hole from a berth of God.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Wj IP Ellenville number one on your car radio.
Speaker 8 (29:53):
Preset had then new had improved iHeartRadio app wk IP
Forkeepsie Freed.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
Never sounded so good.
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