Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, and welcome to What's going on? A show
about making a difference in our lives in our communities.
I'm Lorraine Balladmorrow. Today we'll talk about reimagining how we
live with more connection, purpose, and affordability. We'll hear from
Daniel Khne of My Inspirement about building intentional communities and
creating a better quality of life at every stage. Then
(00:22):
we mark fifty years of impact with the Women's Center
of Montgomery County and learn how they continue to support
survivors and strengthen families across the region. Stay with us
at every stage of life. Many of us are rethinking
what it really means to live well, balancing affordability, connection,
and quality of life. What if the future of living
(00:43):
isn't about going it alone, but about building community with intention.
Joining us is Daniel Cohne, Founder and President of My Inspirement,
a non profit platform helping people design more connected, affordable,
and fulfilling lifestyles with friends and family, no matter their
age or life stage. Through tools, education, and innovative ideas
(01:04):
around sharing, living, care, and community, My Inspirement is reimagining
what the next chapter of life can look like. Well,
thank you so much. For joining us. This is such
a great topic. So many of us are living lives
so disconnected I think, from our communities, sometimes from our families,
from our friends, and so I'm delighted to have you
(01:28):
join us and tell us more about what you do.
What is my inspirement and what inspired you to create it?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
So thank you for having me, Laine. It's so nice
to be here. And my inspirement actually started in a
few ways some connections that happened for me personally. I
was coaching a lot of people, mostly women, though around
what they wanted to do in the future from a
work perspective, what their careers look like, and I noticed
(02:00):
which was really it was about building the life they
wanted and building a career that worked with their life.
And then there were other points where during the pandemic,
my father actually passed away in July of twenty twenty,
but at the end of his life, I got to
sneak into the retirement community because we weren't allowed to
(02:21):
be there, and I really started to watch what trends
and things were flawed in the American dream of retirement,
and as somebody who was younger than ready to retire,
I just started to see that there were opportunities and
gaps in what were sold today, and I started to
(02:42):
do research around the future of living and are there
alternatives that I should be personally considering, And more and
more my friends but also strangers would ask me for
new innovations I saw, and that's kind of where my
inspirement started from. Became a nonprofit and we're essentially educating
(03:04):
people about the new innovations in shared housing and care
and lifestyle of the future, so people can start planning
for a more inspiring, attainable life with whatever community you
want to call your family.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I love that. I love that you talk about intentional
living and shared lifestyles. What does that actually look like
in practice for individuals and families?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
It can look like a lot of things. There are
two examples I'll give. Actually, I'm a part of a
community called the Modern Elder Academy, and they have campuses
in Baja Mexico and Santa Fe. They're actually experimenting with
three different models of new waves of housing. One is
tiny homes, where individuals own tiny homes around a campus.
(03:53):
And there's another model that they're calling the Golden Girls lifestyle,
which is a rental model, and you can rent a
room in a house with a group of women. And
then the third model that they have is it's actually
called Sage and it is located in Baja Mexico, and
it's essentially a shared community that was really focused around
(04:16):
sustainability and so a lot of the people who chose
to build in that and live in that community all
have a shared value of sustainability and they have a
regenerative farm and you know, it's beautiful a few blocks
from the beach. So that's one example of what's being
tested today. There's another company in Seattle that has built
(04:39):
something called the Frolic Community and they have a really
interesting model where they work with a landowner and will
redevelop their land with them so they can stay on
their land, but essentially turn their single family property into
a co op community. That landowner almost all the time
is a woman could be a single a single mom,
(05:01):
or someone who's a senior, a senior woman who wants
to have community around her. And so instead of going
it alone in a huge house or on you know,
a single family lot, they've turned properties into cooperative homes.
So there are individual units, but they all have a
shared yard and they share a meal every every week,
(05:23):
and you know, the older people are taking care of
the little kids, and it's a really intentional community, very
diverse as well. So these are just a couple of
examples that we're following across the country. But this is
something that's been in our history, especially in multicultural families,
especially overseas. This isn't new, but I think in the
(05:46):
crisis we're in right now in America where you've got
housing and care and the aging population and even students
who are struggling to find places that they can afford
to rent, a mega crisis, and that's I think causing
people to go back to the roots of community living
and shared lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, well, so who should be paying attention to this
work right now? Obviously we talked about older elders being
involved in communities. How does it apply across generations?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, I think the secret is intergenerational from a perspective
of what keeps you young and also what you who
you learn from, And so I think this impacts everyone
at every age, but mostly the people who are showing
the greatest interest at least directly with me, I would
say people in their forties, fifties, sixties and it's getting younger.
(06:45):
People are very interested in having a say and designing
their future. They're not waiting for somebody to design something
that they have to buy, which is what we have today,
models that are bundled or you know, you end up
in a place that is uninspiring, or maybe with everyone
(07:06):
who's older or everyone who's younger. There's a hunger at
all ages to be with community, and I think everyone
at every age should really be thinking about this. It's
never too early or too late to start really planning
your community.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Well, we are certainly in the middle of a housing crisis,
certainly around affordability. So what can you tell us about
these shared living models that help address rising housing and
care costs.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah, so I imagine a world where you know, you're
not necessarily living one person in one house or two
people in one house, and there are many families who
are going to come together in a multi family setting,
and you can lower your cost of living by sharing things.
(07:57):
I think we've all seen that. You know, I'm a
thrift shop, so I lower my cost of living instead
of buying everything at big box stores or online, I
go to the goodwill, right, And I think if you
start looking at those micro purchases across your entire lifespan.
You and your friends, you and your family can collectively
(08:20):
lower your cost of living by sharing things. And I
believe that that's going to come in more micro communities
where you'll maybe share a care worker across ten families
instead of one family with one care worker. Or you
may share a second home for travel in a beautiful place,
(08:42):
or you may share the childcare activities and sharing meals.
So if you study anything about like blue zones in
other parts of the world around the world, right, these
are the areas where the greatest number of people are
living well beyond one hundred, they're called blue zones. It's
creating your micro blue zone in your own backyard and
(09:05):
welcoming other people to it.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
It sounds so exciting, and I'm sure there are a
lot of people out there who are very intrigued. You've
developed a beta planning tool. How does it work and
how can listeners start exploring it for themselves.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah, so it's on myinspirement dot org and you can
go on for free and essentially put in your crew
of people that you want to live a my Inspirement
lifestyle with and it'll serve you up some suggestions and ideas,
and then if you are interested in learning more about
any of those models, you can go deeper. This is
(09:39):
an in a beta model right now. There's other tools
that we're developing as well as workshops, and really our
goal is to educate as many people about this and
make the tools really accessible, which is why we became
a nonprofit. I want to make sure that people everywhere
have access to this information and innovations so that they
(10:01):
can dream for themselves and live the lifestyle that they
want with their own crew.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
So for those who are inspired by this vision, how
can they get involved and whether as supporters, donors, or participants.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yes, we're a nonprofit, so we're always looking for donors
and participants to try out the tools, listen to our
podcast and all that information is on myinspirement dot org.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I'd like to thank you so much for joining us
here today. At every point in life, a lot of
us are thinking about what it means to really live well,
balancing affordability, connection and quality of life. Well. Inspirement might
be exactly the place you want to check out. Founder
and President of My Inspirement Danielle Cohn. It's a nonprofit
(10:50):
helping people design more connected, affordable, and fulfilling lifestyles with
friends and families, no matter their age or life stage.
Very interesting, very intriguing. I might be checking out that
website myself. So thank you so much, Danielle for joining
us today.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Thanks Laren.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
iHeartMedia joins Global Philadelphia Association, which is presenting World Heritage
Month this may, celebrating Philadelphia's designation as the country's first
World Heritage City. Enjoy a month of events across the city,
including cultural programs, tours, and performances. Explore the stories and
places that connect Philadelphia to the world. Events take place
(11:37):
throughout May. Visit Global Philadelphia dot org for more information.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
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Speaker 1 (12:48):
Jane Goodall once said, never doubt that a small group
of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's
the only thing that ever has. Well, that's exactly what
happened fifty years ago when one hundred women got together.
This year marks a powerful milestone fifty years of service
for the Women's Center of Montgomery County, an organization dedicated
(13:09):
to supporting survivors of domestic violence and building safer communities.
Joining us as Maria Macaluso, Executive Director, to talk about
their life changing work, growing needs, and a special anniversary
coming up this fall. Thank you so much for joining
us here today. And I just love the story of
one hundred women getting together, wanting to do something for
(13:31):
the community and coming up with the idea that domestic
violence would be a key mission for this group. Coming
out of it, so the Women's center has been serving
the community for about fifty years. Can you share the
mission of the organization and the impact that it's had
over these decades.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
So, the original mission of the Women's Center was to
empower women to achieve social equality and to help others.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
It wasn't specifically about to stick violence.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
But we learned that women were being disempowered disproportionately to men.
We still serve men as well through domestic violence. So
it's an evolution in learning that we started out wanting
to empower ourselves to help others, but also to serve
a need that wasn't being filled. To develop resources responsive
to what we were learning on our hotline, and we
keep growing and responding to that.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
So we've evolved over the years.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
So our current mission is with a primary focus on
eliminating domestic violence. We know we won't end it because
it's a power control cycle, but we can maybe intervene
at an earlier point and save lives.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Maria organization provides a wide range of services, from a
twenty four hour hotline to housing, legal advocacy, and counseling.
What are some of the most critical services that survivors
rely on today.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
In the immediacy of the moment.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
I can't tell you how often we get calls where
the offender just attempted to strangle them, or they're stalking,
they're slashing their cars.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Something just happened. There's a crisis, and they need to
know how do I move forward from here?
Speaker 5 (14:59):
How do I find safety and stability, how do I
fortify my home so I can stay here, or how
do I get somewhere. It's that in the moment crisis
that's the most pressing need that we always hear about.
And then as we move forward, we start I always
use the saying you can eat an elephant one bite
at a time. What are we going to work on today?
So we start with the crisis and say, okay, let's
(15:20):
get you bars on the window, ring camera on the door,
get you a bus ticket to your aunts in New York,
whatever that is for you to be safe. And then
once you're safe, let's start thinking and processing what do
you want to do next? And we always let the
survivor decide what that course is, whether it's what we
would do or not.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
How do we support you through your course?
Speaker 5 (15:40):
So it's taking that person through crisis into stability and
moving forward.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Beyond that, we know that domestic violence cases are becoming
more complex and dangerous. Certainly the technology that exists out
there have made it more challenging for those who are
trying to fight domestic violence. Can you talk about your
high Risk Intervention project, especially for victims experiencing strangulation or stalking.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
So it mostly started during the pandemic when we saw
an increase of stabbing, strangulation and stalking occurring in cases
part of it, people who could get out of the
home were now suddenly isolated within that home and the
violence escalated and found more egregious ways of expression. So
in doing that, we start doing research on best practices
(16:25):
across this country and we found strangulation institutes, the stalking institute,
and we educated ourselves on how do we integrate this
into what we're doing. And we learned that in cases
of strangulation, that victim is seven hundred and fifty percent
more likely for that violence to escalate to a weapon,
to a homicide than if there isn't strangulation. So we
(16:48):
work as soon as we identify somebody, the police will
call us, a hospital will cost the survivor victim. We
use survivor rather than victim, because it's more positive looking
that we're going to get you through this. Survivors will
say I was just strangled, or I was strangled ten
months ago. Now he's doing this to me. We've learned
that that's an element of risk. We know stalking escalates
(17:09):
the risk. There's a lethality assessment tool that's research based
where we can ask someone nine questions and the police
we've trained to ask these questions and hospital workers and
if some of them are yes, they triggered immediate response
where we say, hey, can you talk to a council
right away? We're worried that this is going to escalate.
So we've identified factors. All domestic violence is risky, particularly
(17:31):
when there's physical violence or when it's moving in that direction.
High Risk really identifies those factors which increase the likelihood
that this is moving toward homicide fatality case.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
So we intervene early.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
And we help that person understand the risk that presents
itself when these things are happening, and then we say
what do you need and that's where we go into
that tracking. We have the ability to check to see
if there's tracking devices on them to help them with
these detectors' GPS detectors. We have had cases where people
have planted tracking devices and passports on cars and anywhere
around the house. So trying to get into the mind
(18:07):
of the offender and thinking what can we do to
stop them. There was a homicide in Springfield a few
years ago. I would say she did everything right. This
offender still figured out her ex He pushed in the
air conditioning unit and came in that way and killed her.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
So now we've learned.
Speaker 5 (18:22):
In those cases, we bring in the police or somebody
say hey, can you look at this house and see
if there are any vulnerable aspects. So it's looking at
the actions of an offender and anticipating what we can
do to protect this one. With a high risk person,
we also contact them more regularly. They have a private
line that they can call for their counselor no matter
what time of day it is, to say today or night,
(18:44):
to say what do you need in this moment. Sometimes
it's just reassurance. Sometimes it might be a hotel because
I just heard he's getting out of jail, so we
could put them up in a hotel.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
We rely not on a shelter, but on a hotel.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Project that way, we could put them anywhere in the
county that they feel safe to be. We can say, hey, recently,
we sent someone out of state across the country because
that's where they felt safest. So it's working with them
to figure out what things we have to do to
preempt any action on that offender to get to them.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Wow, you also just taught me something. I didn't realize
that strangulation increased the chance that this could lead to
more escalation of violence. So thank you for that.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
That was it was. It's one of the largest indicators
of Wow, be.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Very interesting or less or so yes. Yeah, Well, let's
talk about some misconceptions about domestic and partner violence. There
is perhaps the stereotype of the typical survivor or victim,
and often misunderstanding about you know, people will say, well,
why doesn't she just leave, But we understand that that's
(19:47):
not so simple, and that domestic violence can occur to anyone.
I've known highly effective professional women who've been in abusive relationships.
You know, some very smart young ladies who were killed
from dating violence. So let's talk about some of the
(20:08):
misconceptions about domestic violence and some of the things that
you'd like people to know about those who are struggling
with it.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
I want to first start with the question, you know,
why doesn't she leave? We like to reframe the question
why does he do that? That's the very essence of
blaming this person for staying, which the reasons could be
they want to protect their children, and their children are
they might lose their children. There's financial reasons, there's the
fact that they once love this person and probably still do.
Because we don't get involved with somebody because we hate
(20:35):
them and then we want them to.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Beat us up.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
So there are all these factors that contribute to their decision.
But why aren't we judging the person who's taking this
unconditional love they're receiving and turn it into a weapon
that they use against somebody. So I always a little
bristle when I hear why doesn't she she leave?
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Of course, and you're totally right that educated women.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
I once was working with a woman who was describing
how she was draped in like her mink and her
they were coming home from a party in Chestnut Hill,
and she had diamonds and all these things, and he
was pounding her head against that dashboard and then threw
her out of the car. So money wealth distinction in
society does not prove prevent to prevent domestic bonds from
(21:18):
happening or protect the survivor.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
In some ways, it's actually worse.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
In some cases, I've had women whose husbands were doctors.
Also a man whose wife was a doctor who was
abusing him. So I don't want to just be gender specific,
but position in the community, police officers, I'm sat sorry
to say, lawyers, those people whom we respect just because
of their titles, they can be abusers as well offenders.
So I also always tell new trainees. We train a
(21:43):
lot of volunteers each year, and I'll say lifetime challenged.
It's such a disservice to this issue because I mean,
everybody think it's this. You know, this family is living
in poverty with nothing, and the woman's being beaten and
they're hiding in the closet, going to Some of them
were going to work every day. I know during the pandemic.
One of the things upset me the most, or some
of the healthcare workers were working in the COVID units
(22:04):
and then going home that night and getting beaten by
their partner at home. Because how dare you bring this
back in or what don't really, they'd come in the
next day with bruises. So there's no occupation, there's no gender,
there's no one who's protected.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
There's no age.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
We work with seniors, we work with children, teenagers. One
of the most horrific homicides in Montgomery County was Julianne Siller,
at seventeen and a half years old, a week before
her graduation, was stabbed more than sixteen times by her
boyfriend and killed. So people who think they are safe
where they are, you have to be aware. You have
to look at your friends, look at your family, and
look for those.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Signs that abuse is happening.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
I also when we talk about why women stay, this
might be changing because I'm aging out of the group
that you say this. But the fairy tales we tell
children Beauty and the Beast. I love that story, but
think about it. By virtue of your pure and unconditional love,
you will turn this beast into somebody wonderful. You kiss
that frog and he'll turn into a PRIs. We teach
(23:01):
young women that some of the responsibility for this falls
on you.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
You need to change.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
Because if you really love this person, you'll help to
do this or they'll change. I once worked with a
woman who her priest told her she was an Irish
Catholic and she cooked the meals every night for her
husband and he still beat her. And the priest she
went to said, you know, maybe it's born with Irish cooking.
Maybe you should cook something different. So she went out
and got cookbooks because she thought that's what was causing it.
(23:29):
So we teach women and gosh, I really hope that
this is changing, that we're responsible for playing some part
in improving this. If we can do this, that will
overcome this dysfunction in this person and they'll become a
great human being.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
And it's not going to flip.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
To the other side. There's someone in the family, a friend.
They know that something is happening. They want to help,
but they feel a little helpless. They don't know what
the words to say or what to do. What would
be your recommendation.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
We call those the significant others, and they'll call our
hotline to say, my daughter's with this guy, and I
know what I cancel is it's important for you not
to abandon that person, but it's also important to acknowledge
what's going on. So we were practicing a little bit
of self care with that family member. We know it's
hard for you to see this one. We know it's
hard for your dollar, but you need to be there
because that offender is hoping you'll isolate that person and
(24:21):
leave and leave them alone. I typically encourage that that
individual tell their family member, I'm worried about you. I
love you, and I'm going to be here no matter what.
But I'm a little bit worried that this is going on,
and here's some places that can help, and when you're
ready to, I will.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Support you through that.
Speaker 5 (24:37):
So acknowledge your fears to them. I think that's important
to acknowledge it, but reassure them that I'm still here.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
I'm not going anywhere. I think that's the.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
Best thing you can do for someone who's going to this experience.
And if they deny, oh no, it's not that bad.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
I understand that maybe I mis read of the situation,
but just know I'm here if you ever need me
that reassurance that they're not getting in their life from
their offender.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
So be there.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
Fat message, don't walk away, because that's what the offender
want you to do as abandon that person.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Well, the work that you're doing is life saving and
so important. And you're celebrating your fiftieth anniversary this year,
including a documentary and a gala on the fifteenth of October.
Tell us quickly all about the ways you're celebrating.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
So I've been with the center for twenty eight years,
so for me, it was important that the first half
of the year we look at our history, our founding mother,
who until recently was still on the hotline. She's ninety
eight years old. She's not gonna be happy, No, I
just said that, But until two years ago she came
in every week. Even after when the pandemic we allowed
people in, she was there. So celebrating that legacy of
people who've come through here was the first phase. But
(25:43):
then envisioning our future is the next. So where do
we go from here? What's the next thing we want
to do, or how do we want to expand our
services to make sure we're always growing. I asked our
founding mother when we interviewed her for the documentary. She
was at that first meeting and led it, and I said,
was there anything you and vision for the organization that
we haven't achieved? And I was really thrilled, and she said, no,
(26:04):
you've actually gone farther than I ever thought, we ever
thought that this could go. So I think it's celebrating
those lives. I equate the center to a tree where
there's all these generations of people who've come in the
past fifty years and built upon that, and their daughters
and sons are becoming part of the center and just
growing and expanding and just always looking for ways that
(26:26):
we can reach survivors at an earlier point to prevent
further harm to them.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
If people want more information about the Women's Center of
Montgomery County, if they would like to call the hotline,
if they'd like to take advantage of all the great
resources you provide, tell us how.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
You can always start with our website at wcmontco dot org.
You can call our hotline at eight hundred seven seven
three four two four. We are on Facebook and Instagram,
and we have tear off my posters at churches at hospitals.
I think we try and be everywhere we can encounter you,
(27:03):
and if not, just like I said, just call our hotline.
You will be greeted by a counselor who's been trained.
We have to get through forty five hours of training.
Who can start that journey for you and talk about
the resources. We know it's not going to be resolved
in one call, but start.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
The dialogue and say how can we help you. If
you want to volunteer, same.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
Thing, please check out our volunteer volunteer site on our website,
there's an application. We train more than sixty volunteers to
help with our work.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Well, thank you so much for all the work that
you and the Center are doing for women and individuals
who are experiencing partner violence, because it can. As you said,
although women are the greatest survivors, there are certainly men
who experience it. There are certain folks in the LGBTQIA
(27:51):
community as well. So this is something that everyone should
take advantage of. The Women Center of Montgomery County and
organized sation dedicated to supporting survivors of domestic violence and
building safer communities. Maria Macaluso, Executive Director, thank you so
much for joining us today.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You can listen to all of today's interviews on the
iHeartRadio app and all podcast platforms by typing in keywords
Philadelphia Community Podcast. Follow me on Instagram and threads at
Lorraine Ballard and Lorraine Moral on TikTok and that's Lorraine
with one R. I'm Lorraine Ballad tomorrow and I stand
for service to our community and media that empowers.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
What will you stand for?
Speaker 1 (28:30):
You've been listening to what's going on, and thank you