Your Favorite Disease

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you thought more hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a soul fashion harness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller

(00:24):
starts right now. That it does. We are in the
air everywhere, but not on the place where normally at
We are only on the I Heart podcast network because
four hours or not enough. It is the Fifth Hour,
which likely will have very few sports references in this edition.

(00:45):
But it's me Ben Mallory. Hey, I hope you're doing well,
having a good weekend here as the weekend has begun.
If you hear the Fifth Hour, that means that the
weekend is underway for us, because it only debuts it
only at this point. It only goes out when we're
not doing the the Overnight Show. But uh and and
I have again not by popular demand, David Gascon, who

(01:08):
is writing Shotgun back in the Saddle, trying to sabotage
what's going to be a very appetizing I would say
even juicy edition of the Fifth Hour. So here's what
we have that the menu. So I like to give
the menu out so you know what's what to look
forward to, so you don't miss anything. But on today's

(01:30):
edition in the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and that
other guy Gascon affectionately known as Gagon, we gave him
a new nickname last week. If you missed the podcast,
go back and download last week's podcast Gascon's new nickname
and homage to Penn and teller bullshit, that's his new nickname.
So it's exciting there we can't say that word on
this Thank god for that. I've been a big advocate

(01:51):
over the years of the word ship and we are
very happy that we get to include that word in
the podcast. I feel it's a good word. It's a
solid word. It's a word that we should all be
able to use as adults. Anyway, this is gonna be
like a juicy lucy burger. You ever had a juicy
lucy burger? With about it? In Vegas, here, in Los Angeles,
sometimes in New York. Of course, it's such a world traveler,

(02:14):
such a bragg braggert, as they say, right of course, alright,
So we have the weather Ranger. That's a new thing,
the weather Ranger food picks that's inspired by Marcel and Brooklyn.
We just mentioned a food dish. What else do we
have on the rundown? We have study this. That's another
thing that we're going to experiment with here on the
fifth This is pretty much you're you're you're all guinea

(02:36):
pigs and we're just trying stuff to see what works.
We're throwing spaghetti against the wall to see anything stakes.
And we have it's in the bag for the third
consecutive fifth hour with Ben Maller and Gagon, we have
it's in the bag. And also don't stick the sports
stories of the week. So that's what we got. What
we start with the weather and this inspired not by

(02:57):
the Mexican doppler which Roberto has, is this is the
Mega Mallard doppler, which we have on this show. But
the story here, I saw this the other day and
I feel like we need to spend more time on this.
So there was a study done that compiled all of
the weather caused fatalities the people that met their demise

(03:21):
because of in many ways an act of God right
because either stream weather and one condition or another some
massive storm or something like that. And what they did
is they put a chart together of the United States,
and it's not just the continental United States, also includes
Alaska and Hawaii. And I always curious if you're hypochondriact

(03:42):
type of person, you think you're gonna meet your your demise.
But I think most of us are like that. Like
if you see something on the news that there's some
pandemic going around, and I know I often think about crap,
I probably have it. I'm like, oh man, I'm I'm screwed.
I got that whatever that is, you know, even if
it's like one out of every seven million people, I'm like,
I must be the one. I must be the one.
And then you're going like web Md, which we often

(04:05):
kid around about on the Overnight show Guests Gone, But
you go on web Md and you type in your
symptoms and you are convinced you are you have stage
seven cancer and you're going to die within like a month, right?
Is that? Is that the first thing you do before
you go to bed or when you wake up in
the morning when you're not feeling well. Uh well, I
usually I've been feeling pretty good since I did this

(04:26):
I changed my diet and I haven't had any problem.
But but if I do get sick, I'm like, okay,
this is every time I get a cold. I'm like,
it's never gonna go away. I'm gonna have a cold
forever and ever. This is gonna be the rest of
my life. I'm gonna have laryngitis and as a nightmare.
But amazingly, so far, everything I've had is gone away,
so that's positive. But anyway, alright, so what we're gonna

(04:48):
do here for this little exercise, guest, you can keep
track of this, all right? You will pick a state.
You've got fifty options here. Now, don't pick main because
I already used Maine on the radio show, but just
picking a random state, and then we'll see if you
can guess what the weather related cause of death and

(05:08):
the most frequent cause of people dying in that particular state.
All right, fair enough? All right? So where where do
you want to start here? And I know you have
a a fiction affliction with Montana? Do you want to
start with Montana? Affection for Montana? Yeah, I mean chef's choice.
Let's do Montana first, then chef's choice. Alright, very good,
I'm gonna lead you to water, so hopefully you will

(05:30):
drink here. Now, what do you think the leading cause
of that? There's three according to this map that I
have here, there's three things that have led to the
demise most often weather related demise of people in the
last What do you think, I'm gonna say tornadoes? No,
that is not on the list, alright, right, anything else?
You got any other I'm gonna say Montana, I'll say

(05:55):
something easy. Rain kind of it's it's lightning one of them.
Most of the state, you are most likely to die
with an avalanche. That there could be an avalanche on you,
and that's what you're gonna die. And just extreme cold
in the northern part of Montana. Uh. And that's that's

(06:15):
actually true of pretty much the entire Upper Midwest. Is
like our friends in Minnesota, we a lot of guys
that love the show The Mallet of Militia Men in Minnesota.
But like you live in Minnesota, You've got It's weird
because you've got most of the state the leading cause
of weather related death is extreme cold. You also at
the very top, you've got this this area where you

(06:36):
could you know, the flood thing and then the very bottom,
which is odd to me. You've got extreme heat, how hot,
and only it gets that hot, you know what I mean.
I don't know. I was, And that's that's fascinating because
in maybe we're gonna look at different states. But I mean,
don't forget the Super Bowls in Minnesota a couple of
years ago, and fortunate for our Fox crew, everyone was

(06:58):
inside because the entire week it was reason temperatures were
we're close to single digits. I think the entire time
they were out there before opening kickoff. So well, they
got all those catwalks right in Minnesota. Like, I've only
been to the airport in Minnesota. I guess spend some
time there, like to hang out, but there's only like
two months a year you can go where the weather
is beautiful, and the rest of the time it's like
what the hell is going on there? Yeah, you can

(07:18):
just hang out in the world's biggest mall, I guess
for the time being. Right, Well, they and they've got
all those tunnels, right, That's why my guys in Minnesota says, well,
during the winter, we just don't go outside. I remember
a story the late great Sean Rooks. You probably do.
You remember good guy he met his untimely demise, very
sad a few years ago. But Sean looks I was
sitting with him. Uh and the Prince of darkness Lee Klein,

(07:42):
who you you know, and that we should get him
on this podcast. But you don't want any guests, no, no, no,
guard everything. We had a conversation with some tacos with
Lee and you cut off the conversation with Lee because
he was spinning all the way down the rabbits hole
and you don't want me to go down there with them. Well,
because Lee, when you and I love and there's a
lot of people that follow me that remember Lee as

(08:04):
a talk show host. He worked at Fox briefly and
but and the Idea of Sports show with him long
and twenty years ago. But he's mostly a political like KFI,
which is the big news station l A. Worked I
think KBC also, which is a talk station in l A.
And so, but he you go to dinner with him,
and he goes into talk show political talk show mode

(08:26):
where he's like breaking down the government and he hates
all politicians, Republican, Democrat, pretty much all of them. So
he just unloads on on everyone, uh, the entire time
and it's uh, it's unnerving and never ending, and but
I love him anyway. He's entertaining, but he's just over
the top. But he was giving me some great stories
and we were having a serious conversation eating some tacos,

(08:48):
and then you butt in and you tell me the
story that you had with him where you had him
doing opening monologue to dead air. Well, well, yeah, I'd
like to have him on too. Reminisce about that. But
one of the great stories. And radio so we were
and we did we did this show. I was back
in the local radio days. It was like, uh, the
old West. I mean it was it was ridiculous, man,

(09:09):
with the kind of stuff. It was animal House and
and all that back in those days. And so we
we remember the station was kind of start up station
and we were all doing remote. We're doing extra shows
on the weekend night, a show during the week at night,
and then we had a Saturday morning show because the
program director determined dudes get up early on Saturday because
they have to do their their work around the house

(09:29):
and run errands and all that crep. So they're people
listening on Saturday. It's like it's a morning drive, you know.
It's built a lot of people, big audience on a
Saturday morning. So whatever, right, we'll do a Saturday show.
So we did a lot of remotes. We go to
these different restaurants and stores and whatnot. We you do
in local radio, at least in those days, and they
don't think gonna do it that much anymore. So we
showed up. Uh we we uh we would go on

(09:51):
as your us. But but Lee had a show after ours,
and sometimes we would go to different places. This particular Saturday, Uh,
Lee somehow ended up at a remote we were not at.
So we were on the air, we got off the air,
and they could not the the engineer had trouble connecting
to Lee on the remote broadcast site. And so for

(10:14):
some reason, the person on site, the engineer was apparently
afraid to tell Lee the issue, because you know, Lee
has a bit of a temper, and so so they
just told him to start the show like it was
a regular show, and then uh, they finally connected by
the end of the very end of the monologue he did.
And then I I was standing right behind the board

(10:35):
op and I I jumped on the microphone. I said, Hey, Lee,
that was a wonderful monologue. Nobody heard it, and he
got so upset. He was so so, so vicious. Yeah,
there's a bunch of lead Cline stories. I gotta get
back to Sean ro because Sean looks my Minnesota story
gas Gun so uh. He's telling me he played with
the Timberwolves back in the day and he didn't realize

(10:59):
how cold it got Minnesota. He said he was running errands,
like on a day off for the Timberwolves, and he
went and got a cup of coffee and then he
went to the bank. He like, he said, he uh,
he had to go get some some money or whatever
the bank, just to do his banking. So he parked
the car in front of the bank. It's like one
of those five minute things, you know where. I was
gonna park it here, and he forgot to close his

(11:21):
door right all the way came back and he had
from a piping hot coffee, he had an ice coffee
by the time he got back in like five minutes.
It was that cool old man. That's how insane is that?
That that is that is brutal. I remember my first
ever trip to Chicago a few years ago. I actually

(11:42):
went in January, and I think it was during the
a f C Division round matchup where Tennessee lost at
New England. And I had gone to a Blackhawks game
at the United Center that night and I had gone
outside for I kid you not, Ben maybe seven to
eight minutes at the post and my ears were like bricks.

(12:03):
It was so painful. And I had no ear mufs.
I had gloves on but a jacket. But you know,
being from Los Angeles, I didn't. I didn't. I don't
have a lot of winter attire, right, so going out there,
I've done the same I'm as dumb as you. I've
done the same thing I was in when I when
I did that TV thing for like a year, they
flew me back to Connecticut every month, and I would

(12:25):
you know, even you know, in the winter, you know,
and so I we would go out sometimes after the
show or whatever. We'd go There was Bobby vs. Bobby.
Valentine's got a restaurant in Stanford, Connecticut was my spot
because it was close to the to the hotel. It
was like, uh, you know, four blocks from the hotel.
I was standing out whatever. So I go there and
in the winter, I remember it was it was really

(12:45):
like ridiculously cold, and Stanford, Connectic it gets colder, but
even you get that cold, it was really cold and
so but for some reason, I was like, you know,
I didn't want to take a cab or an uber
and I don't even if they had uber back then,
but I didn't want to take a cab, and so
I was like, I just walk, you know, it's no
big deal. And by the time I got back, I
thought I had frost bite. By the time I got

(13:06):
back to the hotel, I was like, what am I doing?
The whole I mean, it's just yeah, I think it's
partially because you're not prepared for It's like you put
somebody in the really extreme heat that's not used to it.
You're you know what I mean, he's part of it.
Were at least wearing pants because I know you're not
a pants kind of guy. You're usually bath robe. You know,
I live the bohemian lifestyle. Yeah, you do. Here at

(13:27):
I blame my wife for that. She's responsible for the
influence of the bohemian lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that. The
Voyer experience with the with the Mallards. Right, alright, so
another state, give me how about this, let's do what
about Hawaii? Hawaii. Alright, No, Hawaii is a small state.
There's only one thing, there's not multiple things. What do
you think would be the weather related cause of people's

(13:50):
demise in Hawaii? Something that is perfectly avoidable. I'm gonna say, um,
weather related? What all these are? Weather related? I mean
that's why we're doing. Yes, whether you said weather related
but avoidable, yes, yes, it's this is I'll just give
you the answer. They they say that the leading cause
of fatalities in Hawaii, it's weather related. No extreme surf.

(14:15):
You know when they have the storms come through and
those idiots are out on their surfboards and they get
they get smashed by a wave and they die. That's
leading cause of weather related I was in Hawaii one
time with my wife a couple of years ago, and
they had We were to kmart, which tells you how
good our trip to Hawaii was. In the area, well,
there was a costco, but the kmart was going out

(14:37):
of business, so we had to get the rug mother
and uh so we went there and watch your language.
I'm gonna tell your your parents about that day. Anyway. So,
uh so, as in in the kmart and there was
a tropical storm that had come through and the power
turned off in the kmart. We were sitting you on
the pitch black in this big warehouse store thing. And

(14:58):
then uh, and then I had to go and get
the car. And it was so I got so wet
and so drenched from that like a monsoon or a
typhoon or whatever. It was insane. It was like the
worst that in in Buffalo were the two worst weather
like related things that I've been in. When I was
driving out of Buffalo down to back to New York
City and the weather it was, I had to stop

(15:20):
on the New York Expressway because I could not see
in front or behind me, and I was worried I
was gonna hit a car, but everyone was stopped. It
was I've never seen that before. Now since from the
land of earthquakes, you bring this up, are you prepared
for a natural disaster here in California? Do you have
like an emergency kit and some some supplies and good
So the way I'll answer that, first of all, I uh,

(15:42):
I am not. My wife is though, so I feel
like I'm the beneficiary of that that she is because
she works at the police station and all that, so
she's got all the you know, these ey tell her,
you know, they tell you what you're supposed to have
and when you light flashlights and food rations and all.
So she's got all that stuff. But but no, I mean,
I don't think anyone's actually prepared for if it's a

(16:03):
massive earthquake, it's like, you know, ten point seven or
something like that on the Richter scale. I don't think
it really matters what you have. But in my entire life,
it's two things have been true my entire life. People
have said that soccer is gonna become the most popular
sport in America. That's never happened. And they've also said
that the big ones about to hit California, it's gonna

(16:23):
fall off into the Pacific Ocean. And I know most people, uh,
let's see east of the Mississippi and maybe even some
west wish it would happen. Hasn't happened yet, No, not yet,
not yet. All right, it's another state. Then let's go
to Uh, what about New York, New York York. Now
New York's like two states in one. All right. So,
by the way, if you're just late to the podcast,

(16:44):
that no one actually gets late to the podcast at
this point, if you fast forward, so it's the weather Ranger.
It's a new second is a study out that says
leading cause of weather fatalities from eighteen all Right, New York.
You've got southern New York and then the rest of
the states. So in in like Manhattan, the leading cause
of death is in the other boroughs of New York

(17:05):
City is heat. Extreme heat. You know there's nasty August
September days where it just gets brutal. Yeah, I mean,
it's just smells like death in New York, especially when
you're walking down the streets of Manhattan and Brooklyn, because yeah,
I mean, temperatures are up. The humanities what's Well, the

(17:25):
reason it smells like death is because they have to
put their trash out every day in New York and
the trash just cooks in in the heat. Well, they
actually do that in the middle of the night. I
remember earlier this year when I made a trip to
New York City. I was walking home from a night
on the town, and I think I got back at
three or four o'clock in the morning, and I was

(17:47):
in Lower Manhattan and before that's an unholy hour, guest,
but that happens at that time in the morning. Who cares,
it's New York. But to get into my hotel Ben,
Honest to god, I had to go around bags of trash. No, no,
I know, that's what I listen. I'm a night guy, obviously,
and I when my brother lives in Manhattan and we

(18:07):
go back there and I'm out problems In New York.
Everyone says everything is open all night, the city that
never sleeps. That's bullshit from was it Sinatra? That's something
that's his bullshit? All right? No, it trusts me most
of Manhattan at night. And I've I've lived the life
where I was like, oh, it's three in the morning,
let me go out and have a nice meal. And
like pretty much every restaurant is closed. You can get

(18:28):
the corner Delhi subway in that subway, but the mom
and pop sandwich shops you can get like a turkey
sandwich or something like that. But there's not an endless
amount of food options, even in a place like New York.
I remember me and my wife went on we were
in Times Square and we were walking around like to
one third in the morning, and we there's like one

(18:49):
one or two places that was it that was opened anyway,
so lower men like New York City heat, the rest
of New York the leading cause of death weather related,
got flash floods, which is really the center trull part.
And then in in western and very upper New York,
you've got like where albuddy, isn't that, You've got wind
that wind related demises. So it's three different or four

(19:10):
different things, not three different things. Yeah, I mean, that's
that was my first thought with Hawaii because you mentioned
the surf for the high surf tides, but also the
volcano ash volcanoes erupting and if they if they do,
you're blowing the the lava any kind of small sparks
and flow that goes onto the houses and forests and whatnot.
And that was my my first stop of wind. Yeah,
that's uh, that's right up there. What about give me

(19:32):
like Alabama? Alabama? All right, let's go to Alabama. So
the leading cause of people's demise in Alabama. There's two things.
Actually there's there's a few more than two things. You
gotta go down to the to the Gulf. Football, but
you've got yeah, that's right, Auburn football. You've got the
very top extreme heat. People dying because of the oppressive

(19:56):
heat of the South, and you've got torn a does
in the most of Alabama. You're you're leading cause of
dying by weather is a tornado. Do you have any
friends that are in that industry of chasing down tornadoes?
Do not? I've seen those shows. I've I've seen the
videos on YouTube and stuff, but I'm not would you do?

(20:16):
You should do that? How much would you have to
get paid to do that? They put you in like
an armored car you drive around chasing the tornado. I
got a buddy that does it, and he's actually from Chicago.
He's making well over six figures. But so, yeah, we
should do that. Guests, why not go move to Kansas
or something like that, or moved to Arkansas yourself? Well,
I'd rather stay here and and you know, slave away

(20:37):
under a high microphone to cater to you really stealing material. Well, listen,
if it's not a radio show, stupid podcast, if it's
any if it's any kind of consolation for you. You
typically have a track record of having producers that are
somehow oft um. Well that was true up until Cooper Loop.

(20:59):
Up It's Cooper Loop. I. I went through producers pretty
much twice a year, there would be a different producer,
but it's been remarkable. Cooper Loop has stuck around and
he appears to be there for the long haul. That's
not had the change. We've had the same crew. I
know Danny got out of there, but we had Roberto
has been there for a while now, and so we've

(21:20):
had the same same group overnight consistency, which is odd
to me. I'm not used to consistency. I don't. I don't.
I don't do well with consistency. We'll get rid of
you on this show at some point, well we might.
I mean, you did accuse me of being the future
Andrew Luck for this podcast, so I did say that.
I I believe you will quit. I I believe you
will get so frustrated. You will be so upset that

(21:40):
they they're not gonna pay you or something like that,
and you'll just be like, I'm out. See I can't
get frustrated. Part of the reason for that is I
feel like this podcast with us is like Rocky four,
or I go into Russia and there's everybody on your
militia that really hates my guts or can't stand me,
and all of a sudden, slowly but surely I start
winning them over. I went over the crowd, and yeah,

(22:01):
that's not happening like you and no, no, Then you
picked there's only one, the Rocky two, right, that was
the that was the movie Rocky Too. They didn't keep
making good Rocky movies. They just kept making Rocky movies.
They weren't good. But you picked Rocky four as a
Rocky two was the top, that was superior to all

(22:23):
the other Rocky movies. Well, no, Rocky four is probably
the best. Then Rocky Too, then Rocky three, then the
original Rocky and then after that it doesn't exist. I mean,
you can't incorrect. You can't. You cannot have Rocky four
is not being your number one, goes into a hostile environment,
wins over, and he ends the Cold War. Yeah it

(22:45):
was a movie. He didn't end the Cold for I
understand that. Yeah, thanks for yeah, watching that, it's good. Yeah, alright,
another state? Can we do? Can we move on? We
do two more states and then we got more We
get to do the whole thing on a damn a.
It was a it was a bit. I mean, we're
doing the weather Ranger and we're playing such grab bass here.
We don't even get through the damn states. We'll have

(23:05):
to bring it back next week. Get me Vermont and
Rhode Island a combination right there? All right? Well, yeah,
you picked very small northeast. Why would you pick those states? Don't?
Why not? Because people don't talk about Rhode Island and Vermont.
No one cares about those two states. Well Vermont, yeah,
certain politicians. That gets uh the leading cause of your demise,
and Vermont in the burn is wind wind related. That's

(23:31):
all over like Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire and also Rhode
Island as well. So that that whole win. And there's
a little part where the flash floods will do you
in You ever been in a flash flood? No? Never,
And I mean we've been close here in southern California
on a couple of different occasions. I lived in San
Diego and we had them pretty bad in the middle

(23:53):
mid two thousands, like two thousand five, two thousand six.
But when you're stuck in the five freeway, you know
this because you were down there for quite a bit.
But when you're stuck down the five Freeway, you're s
o l. You can't move anywhere because there's no other
freeways or roads you can get off of once you're
near Camp Peddleton. So there was flashford warnings, the flood
warnings that came about the middle of the night. I mean,

(24:15):
you're screwed. So you have to set that thing out
and waited out. So probably the closest I've ever come. Yeah,
San Diego. The traffic there is like with the eight
and the oh that was a nightmare two back in
the eight, the fifteen, and the five. Yeah, that's pretty
much it. That's the big the big arteries there are.
Are you done with this? The weather things? That's fine.

(24:35):
You seem annoyed with Oh no, no, I mean just
you picked your your pick of states was odd to me,
like you should try to appeal to where the listeners.
We have a lot of listeners in Florida mentioned Florida. Well,
well we know what what Florida is. It's going to
be hurricanes. No, not on the list. Very by Miami,
like the southern part, like Key West Miami. That part

(24:56):
they have hurricane. But the rest of the state. No,
you got lightning and rip current. Rip current. Alright, imagine
going down because you're out in the water and you
get sucked out to to see and you meet your demise.
Where are the majority of your listeners live Texas? Yes, yeah,

(25:18):
there's a lot of people in Texas. Flash flood, a
lot of flash flood, a lot of heat. Missouri. Uh,
you got cold winter weather up top Missouri, also flash flood,
heat and just flooding in general. Washington, Washington State, you
got avalanche and then flood and wind in the southern part,

(25:38):
like right on the Oregon border. There. So all right,
let's Alaska. Give me Alaska. Alright, Alaska. There's there's two things. Now,
this is the only state that has this as a
weather related cause of death. Is one thing, you've got
most of the state's avalanche, you know, out looking at
a polar bear and you're getting you know, knocked on
your head. Uh. And then the other one is a

(26:00):
brief flows. What is that? I don't even know what
that is? What is that? I don't know? They classified
as a debris flow. Do you have any listeners in Alaska? Yeah,
we've had. We're on the radio and Anchorage and uh
and some other places. So I've gotten calls from people
in Alaska. And it's good because it's earlier in Alaska.
I've gotten more calls from Hawaii over the years. In Alaska.

(26:20):
But yeah, there's like my friend Jay who we should
get on the Whizz of Odds gambling college football gambling guy.
And he's in He's in Alaska like all the time,
all right, he's he he loves that I did a
rod race. In fact, he's there right now, and he
sends me photos like he's out on the front and
he'll send me these these photos of everyone freezing their
ass off in the I did a rod race with

(26:40):
all the dogs. All right, here's the fifth hour with
Ben Maller and David Gas gone unfortunately, but time now
for we're moving on. Let's go to food picks. You
want food picks. Who doesn't like food? But this is
inspired by Marcel Now. Restaurants are always trying to get
you to come into the Star. Every business wants you
to come to the store, trying new items to get
our fat asses to go in there and open up

(27:01):
our wallet. So we're gonna see if any of these
items are worthy or I got a bunch of I
won't go through all of them because it will take forever. Uh,
these are new items, some of them will be permanent.
Most of them were just test items or limited time
options at restaurants. These are national chains they picked out
because we've got to keep it on a national level.
I've got Chipotle their their new item here. Recently they

(27:25):
just added carne asada to their to their menu there,
Kanye started a snake eight fifty per entree in or
out on the newest item there. Yeah, I'll do it.
You got try at least once, right, especially since you're
we're here in southern California or allot the Mexican food.
You love Carnisi when you came to an event at
the Mallard Mansion, which for some reason my wife foolishly

(27:47):
invited you to. Uh you did bring carne asada. I
brought carney, I brought some boil. Uh yeah, I mean
you didn't bring a lot. You're you're a big fan
of the carnie. You were burning most of the other meats.
I thought I would do something different. It's actually cooking
it properly. Now you're doing your barbecuing it and you're
making the meat just look charcoal black. And I came

(28:10):
to the rescue. Spoiler alert, It's delicious. That's what be
sure to catch. Live editions of The Ben Maller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Uh. Panera bread.
This is Baja Grain Bowl and Mediterranean grain bowl. So

(28:31):
they're going big on the grain. They've got long grain
brown rice mixed with red and golden quinoa. Has always
say how you said? Uh, grilled citrus pepper chicken. It's
qu i n o A yea queen what? I never?
What is that? It's like it's like rice. O, what
is this rice? Because it's not rice, it's keen one. Now,

(28:52):
I mean, I'm out on this. I'm not you know,
Panera bread not my own, my spot. My wife likes it,
but I'm out. I don't want the grain bowl. If
I if I was a farm animal, I eat grain.
I'm out too healthy for I don't want any part
of that sounds disgusting. Uh. The veggie grill, Who the
hell goes to the how did this end up on
the list? The veggie girl they've got They got a
fake cheese steak that you can get which is a

(29:16):
plant based beyond Burger beef substitute. And then they have
all the other traditional stuff that you put in a
nice traditional Philly cheese steak thirteen fifty. Uh no, I mean, why,
what's the point if you really want to eat a
cheese steak, eat a cheese steak. If you're if you
don't eat, eat a bunch of lettuce or something like that.
You know, best cheese steak you've ever had Philadelphia obviously homemade?

(29:40):
Uh come on, homemade? No no, no, no, no, let
me tell you something. Alright, Me and my wife, we've
figured this out. There's a costco not far from where
we live, and they serve thin cut ribby the same
kind that they make the restaurant quality cheese steak. And
I have I have a grittle at the Mallard mansion
and we might make it this you can guess gon

(30:00):
I might be partaking. My wife brought that up the
other day that we should have have some of this
cheese steak because he can make it up. You put
the onions out there, I cut up some peppers. I
make a mean cheese day. You've not had one of
my cheese steaks? Have you? Do I get an invite
for this weekend's festivities? No, not at all. Well, I
think we are actually I think there's an event that
we might be taking part. I don't know if that's
gonna make the show. Maybe we'll save that for next week.

(30:21):
What else? We've got Checkers and rallies. You ever eating
in the Checkers and rallies or whatever? You're Yeah, it's
just it's depends on where you are. They called the
same thing. They've got a cheese loaded burger. This is
like we're talking about the Juicy Lucy. It's a new item.
Two seasoned beef patties with melted pepper jack cheese between them.
It's only like two nine nine, which tells you it's

(30:43):
probably not the highest quality. But they have that, and
uh yeah, if I was Checkers a rally, I would
go with it. Why not give a shot? Sounds like
it's not that bad. A subway. This sounds like something
that would be in my wheelhouse, not your a wheelhouse,
but subway naturally. Pit smoked brisket sandwich sounds great, sounds wonderful. Right.

(31:07):
They say briskets smoked for at least thirteen hours, not
less than that, not twelve, not eleven, it's gonna be
thirteen hours and top with smoked cheddar cheese, barbecue sauce
on Italian bread. That sounds good as it's only available
through November six. I used to be a big Subway
guy before I got married. My wife does not like Subway.
I don't go there anymore, but I used to go

(31:27):
there all the time when I was living the bachelor
lifestyle was in my rotation. Back when I was doing
the eatings of trying to lose weight. I thought I
was gonna be like Jared from Subway. I'd like to
not be man. Don't go down that road. Uh. Jack
in the Box one of the great light, late night

(31:49):
foody run restaurants. Jack in the Box, you've got the
really big chicken sandwich. Have you seen the billboards on
this around in l A? Looks pretty? Three or four
chick and breast patties on a bun. You got the mayo, onion, sauce,
iceberg lettuce. Pass on that tomato, No thanks. Melted Swiss
style cheese. I like how they say Swiss style, which

(32:12):
means it's probably not cheese. Uh. Nine for a double,
four for a triple and if you're going big five
nine to clog not really your arteries, but just to
clog the what's fried and you get to fries in
a drink as well. Would you be happy ending a

(32:32):
long three or four day fast with something like that? Yeah,
probably not, But if I like, I don't. The only
fast food I really eat is Raising Canes. That's that's
been my my staple, the great chicken finger Shack, which
I love. I don't think you've been the one. You
will at some point. There's a Raising Canes opening here
in the next month at the Mallard Mansion mansion, so

(32:54):
you will have to go and then partake. But no,
like Jack in the Box is one of those things.
I used to have a Jack in the Box close
when I lived in Lincoln Heights. It was a Jack
in the Box real close to where I live, and
so I would go there and that was, you know,
kind of late night getting off the air, gett a
bite to the the eat or something like that, and that
in Tommy's. I love Tommy's, which is an l A thing.
I don't think it's outside of l A. Maybe a

(33:15):
couple of other places, but the chief chili cheeseburger Tommy's
one in the morning man hits the spot for now
for breakfast at Jack in the Box. What would you
get back in the day, I would get the French
toast that was my the French toast sticks at the
at Jack in the Box, that would be my thing.
All right, we're doing food picks in honor of marself.

(33:35):
These are all items that are either temporary or now
permanent new items at restaurants. I thought this would be
something a little different. We have Taco Bell. They've got
a couple of things that they've got, the black Bean
crunch Rap Supreme. They changed their menu. Cooper Loop was
very upset about this because they this is a vegetarian thing,
this black bean crunch Rap. I'm convinced that you know,

(33:57):
on radio, we have consultants and they have meetings all
the time about what's good and what's batten rightio in
the fast food industry, the last year, all of them
have decided to go with the vegetarian right. I mean everyone,
Carl's that that hard ease um, all of them. Uh
go down the list, you're burger king. They've all got

(34:18):
these vegetarian items and then they have the calorie listing
as well. I know Chick fil A does that. A
couple of other spots will have a listing per items,
so you'll have the calorie intake right underneath them, Like
that's the last thing you want to see, right, It's
like it's like going on a date with a check
and eventually you know you're gonna sleep with her. You
don't want to know what the cout that she's on, right,
Just hey, let's just knock this out. Do you know

(34:39):
how it works? Man? Women go they go low, men
go high. But it doesn't matter because then you get
these fools. They'll order something that's twelve calories and then say, hey,
I want to diet coke too. I don't know if
this is analogy fits here, but as far as like
being freaked out by the number, as you said, of

(35:00):
the partners, the person you're with could have I the
way I look all right. I think the analogy is
if if there was a new plane that was a
test plane, wouldn't you like someone else to test it
to make sure that it works. Yeah, you don't want
to get on the plane. You don't know if it's
gonna land or not. Right, I mean it's you know,
I mean it's a way to look at like driving
a car. You can test drive that thing around the

(35:20):
block a little bit. Wow, alright, I'm sure you've done
a lot of test driving in your big study. You
heard stories. My wife was telling me a story about
you the other day which I did not know that
was true, and I thought, no, that's not. She said
something happened after one of the parties there that I no,
I didn't happen. She convinced it happened. Uh Taco Bell,

(35:41):
I'm sure you don't want to mention that. On the
fifth Hour with Ben Mallard, guest got toasted cheddar chalupa
that's seasoned beef or chicken, shredded lettuce, dice, tomatoes, grand
grated cheddar, cheese, reduced fat, sour crimp, tortilla shell with
six month aged cheddar baked on it. But it's only
a test item in Charlotte. So if you're listening in Charlotte,

(36:04):
you can get a toasted cheddar chalupa. Give a take.
I'm I don't need it. Sounds awful, I'm not. Uh
elpoil local, which is a local staple of southern California
in the southwest. UH Mexican chain. And we right across
the street from our studios, the Premier Networks i Heeart
Media Building in in Sherman Oaks, California. There's an Elpoil

(36:27):
Loco where Magic Johnson. I've seen Magic Johnson in there
and some other celebrities that live up in the hills.
They come down there and eat their Eloil local. Uh
what do we have? We have chicken, taketos and guac.
Three miniature tacos. Stuff was shredded ranchero chicken, guac, pico
deguio cilantro and to all that and some chips in

(36:49):
a drink for five bucks. I love the Takedo's. I'm
big fan of the taketo. I've been an advocate for
the takedo over the years. One of the great underrated
dishes of our world is the takeito um. I used
to get to Tito's a jack in the box. They
used to have those. I don't think still do back
and that I love them, But this is all Poil Loco.
I'd be And I'm not a big guawk guy. I
don't need the guawk. I don't I don't want to guawk.

(37:10):
I'm okay with it. I don't hate it, but I
don't go out on my way for it. It's overpriced.
But I would, I would, I would be okay with it,
the Tito think, and they alays have chicken nachos. I'm
good with that. Chicken nacho, cheese, some cilantro some maybe
some basil on it, some salts, We're good with that.
No beans, though they put the pinto beans on there.

(37:30):
I don't need that. I'm good moving on. I hoped
they've got this promotion right now. These are new food items.
It's food picks in honor of marcel I hop promotion
with the Adams Family movie, which I guess is back
doing it's thing here. Uh, They've got Wednesday's webcakes butter
milk pancakes, top with cupcake icing and violet whipped topping

(37:53):
and webbed with Hershey's chocolate sirrup. It's a nine step
If that sounds like it's for kids, doesn't it does?
I don't think that's what going And this is also
for kids. Uncle Fester's Chocolate ice cream Shake, Hershey's Chocolate
ice cream Shake with violet whipped topping. Six fifty six
fifty for a shake, man better. Yeah, I have not

(38:17):
had a shaken in a while. I'm not against the shake,
but it is a high calorie item. If you're worried
about your fine girlish figure. It's it's a problem, KFC.
Let's go to KFC. This is a big one. This
made the rounds up. You might have heard about this week.
Chicken and doughnuts. Chicken and doughnuts at the KFC, which
is which is just great. Now that's fried chicken served

(38:38):
a nice, delicious thick breastpiece of the fried chicken fried up,
perfectly served with a glazed donut, either on a sandwich
with extra crispy breasted chicken and two no nuts that's
five ninety nine, or as a meal with chicken on
the bone or chicken tenders with one donut for five
forty nine. The donuts are also available on their Owny're

(38:58):
charging a dollar at o nut at KFC, so they're
getting into the donut business. It's only available though in Norfolk, Virginia, Richmond, Virginia,
in Pittsburgh. That's it. They're testing it in those markets.
That's great because I mean you you actually advised me
have moved out to that area many moods ago, somber.
It could be on the horizon for me. That'll be

(39:19):
in a future edition of the fifth Hour Career Advice.
Career Advice go work a full time job for Yeah.
I think the line, which I believe is true, is
that it's all for the story, right, He's all for
the lifes, all for the story. I mean, think of

(39:40):
the story you would have that if you did local
television in what city was it? It was in West Virginia, Right,
it's just like something blue. I forget what it was,
blew something West Virginia. Yeah, like an old sleepy town
which probably the economy went in the toilet because of
the industries, you know, leaving and all that and anyway, Uh,
this can see thing. I would go with it. I

(40:02):
think it's wonderful. Includes it sounds disgusting for a lot
of people, but it's got the main ingredients that you
need for for food, sugar, fat, and salt. Like anybody
that does cooking, anybody that studied the culinary arts like
me Gasco and I, I know that the three most

(40:23):
important food groups are salt, sugar, and fat. Right, You've
got it. No, seriously, all food that we human beings
like is de leave you conbind proper amounts of sugar, fat,
and salt. It's wonderful. This has the fat from the
and the salt from the chicken and the sugar from
the from the doughnuts. So it's I'm sure it's it's wonderful.

(40:44):
I'd have to eat that when I was a toxic kid.
I usually get the munches anyway. So well, that's that's
any day that ends in a y. So you know,
I'm not a frequent drinker, but if it's a Friday
or Saturday night, you like those magic mushrooms, I'm not
like the red of your like you're like, no, You're like,
what's the podcast guy that we're trying to take down here, Joe? Yeah,

(41:06):
the ayahuasca. Ayahuasca, Yeah, you gotta you actually have to
have a chaperone to uh to take any of that.
Have you had the iawaha? No, no, you you can
actually only get it in parts. I think it was
at South America. Yeah. Do you think like Joe Rogan
and these other Hollywood types like have access in the
Hollywood Hills they're doing ayahuasca and those things. We should

(41:26):
find that out. We should go explore. You recommended to
one of our our colleagues, Steve to Sager, to take
some tours around the Los Angeles air to see historic places.
We should do that we should get into the Mallard batmobile,
that little tin can and start driving up the Hollywood
Hills looking for ayahuasca. Yeah, okay, we could do Why

(41:46):
don't you do that and get me you can report back,
Giant Betton Mallard looking for Ayawaska the Hollywood Hills seven
feet tall were in board shirts in the middle of
the night because like a like a YouTube video that
you could put out there that would be a big hit.
All right, moving a last food story, and we gotta
get the ship sailing here again. The ships hit some

(42:07):
some icebergs. Pizza Hut stuffed cheese it pizza. These are
baked squares the cheese at squares with either cheese or
pepperoni and cheese, served with a side of Maranera sauce
sixty nine. This sounds really good to me. I'm not,
I haven't. My grandpa, may he rest in peace, used

(42:29):
to love the Pizza Hut. I used to go there
all the time when as a kid because he for
some reason, I mean not did not have the greatest
taste and pies, but he loved the Pizza Hut. And uh,
but I used to go there all the time. I've
been there in years, but I'd be down with this.
I like cheese. It's I like pizza like you know,
a little cheese and the cheese. It's sounds good to me.
Marianera dipping in there. You you sent me this earlier

(42:49):
in the week, and I was a big fan of
this one. I thought, this is probably the best one
that we've had on the menu so far tonight, and
it's the last one, so we saved the best for last.
You see that works? All right? Study this now, we'll
do a couple of these. I got a bunch of these,
will just react. These are actual studies I found because
I I One of my my sick twisted things that
I like here is I like to see these studies.
Even though most of them are quote your nickname bullshit.

(43:11):
A lot of them are just you know, because you
you you have. The way these studies are done. I
think a lot of them even though I I for
some reason I pay attention to them is that you
have a predetermined idea of the outcome, you know what
I mean, And so it's predetermined, and so these are
often predictable. It depends on who paid for the study

(43:32):
and who bankrolled the study and all that stuff, so
you can usually using conventional wisdom, you can kind of
figure out where it's going. But yet I still read them,
and certain percentage of them I do not think are
predominantly bullshit. But anyway, here's a new study that shows
nearly one third of people don't wash their gym clothes
in between workouts. The worst offenders here, according to the study,

(43:55):
is people who go to the gym every day. Now,
I go to the gym every day, but Gascon, You'll
be happy to know I'm a sweater, all right, I
M that's one of the great things. I don't have
a lot of good stuff in my DNA. There's a
lot of terrible illnesses that I will likely get as
I age here because my family has that stuff, and
I'll meet an untimely demise because of one of those

(44:17):
things in my DNA. But the one thing I love
about my my DNA, my my family roots is that
I am a huge sweater, and I feel like I
accomplish a lot more than I probably do when I'm
on the treadmill at the gym, because I sweat. Are
you and I are you a bed sweater and in
a food sweater too? No, No, no, it's gotta be
I gotta work up to a sweat. But I when

(44:37):
I'm on the treadmill, I wear because this is this
is the one thing I do where I my vanity.
I want to show off how hard I'm working out.
Because if you wear like a black shirt or a
dark colored shirt at the gym, it doesn't show the sweat, right,
So I wear gray. I wear the you know that
that light gray because that shows all the sweat lines.
But I but I have my wife very good. She
has uh She's purchased like like three or four sets

(45:01):
of gym clothes, so I rotate them. But I yeah,
I washed you. What about you? You sound like a
guy that would not wash you stuff. I'm a frequent
visitor of the gym, like yourself. But I gotta wash
my clothes every single day. I mean there's days that
i'll work out. My clothes actually smell like ammonia, which
is really weird. I don't know why, but I want
to check your with your doctor. There might but I

(45:23):
don't wear I'll wear shorts leggings underneath it to contain
my sweat because I'm like you, I sweat like a bastard.
Just all over the place or just you say, I'm
just a bastard. Yeah, not that true. I'll wear sleeves.
I'll wear long sleeve shirts because the same things sweating,
I can't. I don't like sweating all over like a
treadmill or stair master or like I know you don't

(45:43):
go to that area, but like the freeweight facility and
the machines like wait for occasionally I will dabble with
the weights, but I I mean do extreme weight loss stills.
So I'm doing this the cardio to burn. I know
you you lift wait burn Luney used to kemplaining to
me al you lift what you lunium meathead would say,
if you lift weights, you burn the calories all day long.

(46:04):
And hey, actually just do both. You do both to
increase the metabolism and you lose weight in a faster
amount of time. My time's valuable, guest, Yeah, I know.
That's why you want to do it in a truncated
amount of time as opposed to treadmill. For forty study
this study. This bird populations in the United States and
Canada have dropped by twenty nine percent since nineteen seventy.

(46:26):
They say two point nine billion birds have been lost
in almost fifty years, according to this new study. I
think this is bullshit. How do you account birds? All right?
How the hell does one count birds? And how does
one determine two point nine billion and not five billion
or one billion or one hundred. It's bullshit. I don't believe.

(46:47):
I'm calling bs on that too. All right, here's one,
uh safe to sent. A third of Americans believe this
is a good guest. This is I love the these
studies that determine this apidity of humanity because it makes
me feel better about myself. But be sure to catch

(47:08):
live editions of the Ben Maller Show week days at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. One third of Americans
believe they can get an STD from sitting on a toilet.
From sitting on a toilet, well, you know, there's there's
certain states right now in our Republic, namely where we're
at in California. We we've had hepatitis outbreaks just walking

(47:32):
down the streets. Actually came from Mexico to San Diego.
Now it's here in Los Angeles, they had threats of
the bubonic plague. Oh so I like the fact that
as people aren't getting uh what's the word I'm looking for.
They're getting their shots to get certain things that have
been eradicated. These things are coming back. Vaccines, Yeah, yeah,

(47:53):
I mean I have a love hate relationship with medicine,
you know, and I think most of us do. His dudes.
But uh, the things that they've come up with, the
antidotes and things to prevent the bubonic not play, but
some of these these long term illnesses that and then
people are turning their back on. It just doesn't make
sense to me. It's just so stupid. But if I

(48:15):
grew up, if you gotta go, you gotta go. But
if you're in a club or a bar, a restaurant,
or are you going to are you going number two
in the restaurant? Yeah, this is where men have a
competitive advantage to women that we have the option. I
wouldn't do it too. I do a one. I wouldn't
have a number of problem with the number number one.
But they say the survey response wrongly think that they
could contact an STD through physical contact, erroneously believe they

(48:39):
could become infected from sharing a glass of water with
someone diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease. Well, if you
got if you got mono, you can get that way. Yeah,
one had mono a couple of years ago. You're better though, right, Yeah? Recovered? Yeah,

(48:59):
fully operational. Thanks to your six respondents were able to
correctly identify GNA rhea as a common STD, less than
half named herpes and only could remember flamdia. So there
you go, man, what's your favorite STD? What do you

(49:20):
um favorite STD? Favorite way to die? I don't know,
give me the name of the podcast that man, questions
you never thought would be asked in a relaxed environment
on a podcast, on this dope podcast. Yeah, that's something

(49:43):
we could ask your Rogan. How about that? WHOA all right?
Oh answer, I'm not afraid like you. I'm not a coward.
I think my favorite one when I was a kid
that used to get talked about lot in school, well
HIV but also her pies, you know, because it's you
have a the rest of your life and the kids
would be vicious about that and all that. But I
think Dr Drew said something like I think it was

(50:06):
fifteen years I said, like most people in their twenties
at that time had herpes and they didn't even know
they had herpes. Some some ridiculous things like that so common. Anyway,
all right, what do we have? Let's see moving on
it's study this. We'll do a couple more of these things. Uh,
you care about this study? Ten thousand hours study reveals
five keys to being elite in your field? Does that

(50:27):
interest you at all? No, it's all about connections or
I guess here in l A what kind of plastic
surgery you got? All right, we'll skip over that. Uh
here's one. Listening to music disturbs creativity, according to a
new study. Does that do anything for you? I mean,
do you listen to Do you listen to music when
you prep for your shows? Uh? No, I don't. I

(50:50):
usually I have to have laser like folks, I have
in the past dabbled with. This is gonna sound elitist
and snobbish, but I have done like mo start and
some classical music. What's on that? Well, nothing's wrong with it,
But I sounded like, Uh, I feel like people listen
to classical music or schmucks and the intellectuals and all

(51:10):
those people that think they're better than everyone's. But I
but it does, it does help. I I like some
of the old Beethoven stuff. Modestart. I like the sound
of the it's it's good in the background. Yeah, it
just kind of tones you down a little bit, right, Yeah,
it's plus it it makes like your life's a movie
when you hear classical music, like the background music, and
a lot of movies they put some classical stuff. What

(51:32):
else do we have? Uh for lunch? Pancakes for lunch?
Most Americans feel second breakfast should be an official meals
breakfast to brunch or just breakfast breakfast. Yeah, I'm not.
I'm not a big lover of the breakfast. I mean,
I don't mind the breakfast foods, but I don't like
to eat when I wake up. Usually. My wife, though,

(51:54):
is she's all about that. I mean, she loves breakfast.
If she could only eat breakfast, like pancakes and things
like that all day, that's all she would eat breakfast.
Where's the hierarchy though, Like do you go waffles to pancakes,
to French toast or do you go French toast and
then work your way down? Yeah? But my breakfast stuff,
I I would pancakes, a stack of pancakes with syrup.

(52:15):
Traditional breakfast, uh, maple surface the way to go. I'd
go with that the waffle. Not a big egg guy,
but a nice omelet, like a cheese omelet would be
pretty good. Not cereal, I'm over that. But yeah, mostly
pancakes and the waffles and the hash browns, chicken friend

(52:35):
steak and eggs. Yeah not not No, that's to me.
That's more of like a lunch thing or a dinner thing.
What about what's your I'm French toast all the way,
French toast. I mean, give carves, baby, and give me
French toast. Waffles, pancakes, omelets are great, of course, No, no,
they're great. Great breakfast brutos here in Los Angeles are

(52:57):
fantastic from any kind of local shop. Yeah, the wife
likes the breakfast burritos too. Not my thing. Yeah, I
mean I'm a big I'm more of a fan of
your wife than I am of you. Like I'm noticing
a podcast with her. She's probably a lot more entertaining
and engaging. But no, we gotta, you know, gotta give
the people what they want. As you would say, Fox
Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation.

(53:19):
Catch all of our shows at Fox sports radio dot
com and within the I Heart Radio app. Search f
s R to listen live. You know what you're like
guests going to work with You're like a hungry puppy
that you're not potty trained, Like like you're like you
don't let anything. Like we we were before this show.

(53:39):
We were setting up the studio and you were like,
I was one minute, I was one minute behind where
I was supposed to be and you are panicking. Well,
it's like the buildings on fire. It's a five alarm
fire and you're freaking out. One of us has a
scared droll that doesn't allow for much movement. The other

(54:02):
one has ability to freelance for another eighteen hours in
the night. Don't forget you're the guy that actually made
me fly down from northern California get here at an
appropriate time, so you're not getting an appropriate time. You
messed up my schedule, you smuck. Moving on, new study
shows thirty of dogs who belonged to obese owners were overweight,

(54:24):
fat shaming twice, fat shaming the dog and fat shaming
the fat people that have the They say that the
researchers said that overweight dog owners were more likely to
give the fatty disgusting sugary foods that they eat to
share with their dog, and thus the dog, as a
trickle down effect, becomes obese. Do you do you have
a dog? I do I have Bella. Thanks for listening
to the show. I appreciate that we talked about Bella

(54:46):
quite the bit. Bella is a great She's a lap dog,
which I was against for so many years as a
as a masculine, heterosexual male, I was against lap dogs.
But but I love Bella. Bella is great. I I
the ship suit is the way to go. Man, it's
the sh it's it's it's wonderful. What do you what
do you feed Bella? I love Bella because Bella doesn't
bark um. You know, you know she didn't. She didn't

(55:08):
bark that much unless she's outside, which is good. I
got that dog before that would bark all the time
when circles around, barking, and I was like trying to
sleep or I'm trying to focus on something here. The
damn dog markets a nightmare. But the Bella is very mellow,
very calm and and all that. So what do you
feed her dog food? She's a dog if you dog,
but I'll throw like I have leftovers. The ad will

(55:29):
throw the plate down. Have a field day with that,
and then I'll nuke the plate get the germs off it. Uh. So,
here's a study out that says a cure for the
common cold it's possible, scientists say, after new study finds
key protein. Of course, what's the weasel part of that statement? Guests,
let's see if you know your weasel words? All right,

(55:49):
I can repeat it one more time. All right, A
cure for the common cold, it's possible, scientists say after
new study finds key protein possible. Yeah, clearly, I mean
that's bullshit. It's also possible that it's not gonna lead
to a cure for protect you how many studies I've
seen to say, oh, the end of cancer is near.
You know, of course, cancers like two hundred different diseases.

(56:10):
It's just not one disease. There's just it's all under
the cancer umbrella. But there's a million different forms of cancer. Uh. Anyway,
all right, that's I think I think we're good on that, right,
I think we're good. So we're done. All right, we'll
move on from that. It is the Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and David Guest on the gag on You
Love Him as Twitter account, gag on there on social media,

(56:31):
very popular. Uh, and it's in the bag. All right,
we'll we'll go through as many of this as you can.
We'll we'll do rapid fire machine gun Kelly mob style. Okay,
it's in the bag. And these are listener emails. These
are emails sent in by listeners like yourself. And actually
these were posted on social media. Big shout out to
the Mallard militia men and women on Facebook who really

(56:51):
set most of these in. Usually I use Twitter, the
Twitter machine for a lot of this stuff, but the Facebook.
I feel like I get better questions on Facebook. I
gotta spend more time on that Facebook anyway. This comes
from Kay James Jeffrey, who I believe is in Sequoia, California,
though I don't hold me to that, And he asked,
are most of your listeners in mental health facilities or

(57:14):
mental health patients? All right, Jeffrey, guess which finger I'm
holding up, you schmuck uh no number. So here's the
thing about that there. I will admit that generally speaking,
there is a high percentage of my regular callers that
have dabbled in, uh some mental health issues. But but

(57:35):
I'm I'm okay. I treat everyone kind of the same.
Not it's some people like goof on and all that.
I think we're all like that. But the people that
call the show are their characters on the show. They're
part of the show. They're uh if they become regulars
and all that stuff, and uh, the way I look
at it, if you're calling an overnight radio show, almost
always there's something kind of goofed up in your life,
whether you've got a crappy schedule, you have insomnia, or

(57:59):
you you did some drugs you shouldn't have done. Like,
I think most people who listen have something a little.
I think we're all strange, you know. It's like that
old Door's song, Everyone's strange and all that stuff. Like
I think that to be true. So anyway, that's my
my position. But as far as the actual percentage, if
I would do the Mallard math on that, you know,

(58:19):
people are strange, people are strange. When you're a stranger,
I'm gonna go, you got some really smart people that
call on your show too, though, I'll say that much
that follow you, I mean they're undercover. They tweet or
email you every so often. There, oh yeah, you want
to name anybody that's under No, no, you told me
not to. It's your it's your your, your pocket of quality.

(58:44):
You've got a big fan here. I I know she's
a big fan of yours that loves you. Clearly hasn't
met you, or she wouldn't love you. I don't discrew that.
Wow leave from Phoenix writes in. He says, Ben, since
you do not shout out on your regular radio show,
can you can I get a shout out on the
fifth hour? No, no, no, no. This is not a

(59:06):
mainstream of a podcast. It's not. I mean, we're a renegade.
It's like a pirate radio stations. What we're doing pirate
podcast and that's Joe Rogan and people like that do
shout outs on the mainstream podcast. But we're not. So Lee,
I am not going to give you a shout out.
I'm not going to do it, Lee at all. I
know you love your Arizona Cardinals. We should give him

(59:26):
some some special homework assignment next time he goes to
a Cardinals game. Spell check your damn poster. How about that?
If you're gonna try to bash Keyler Murray and send
a tweet into Ben Maller, how about you grab the
poster and spell check your damn print. All right, listen
you dingle Berry. I want you to know what's such
a Mama Luke that that guy Lee and Phoenix more

(59:48):
to promote my career than you have or in many
ways the company I work for, they don't pick the
billboards up and all that from my show. That was
a walking human billboard. That was the equivalent of guy
outside a restaurant wearing sandwich board saying you know so
and so advertisement That's what Lee did. I lovely Lee's.
Lee's in my inner circle for years because of that.

(01:00:10):
I was wonderful. I love that he to guy do that.
I've had a few people do that over the years,
bring signs to games and stuff, and it's always getting
kicked out of hilarious. You have you have the dog
in Colorado right well, Parker the snow dog who's we
love Parker. Parker's like the unofficial mascout of the Broncos.
He's got a von Miller jersey and all that I
believe in. Parker's great And Parker was at the Broncos

(01:00:33):
Bears game this past weekend in Chicago or in Denver
rather and one of the security guards came up to
the Parkers, the Parker's keeper, and said that the fan
of the show new Parker from our show. So did
you tell the audience about your new publicists, Ben Maller
or Brian for the Ben Maller Show, And oh yeah,

(01:00:54):
yeah you got you got fans that are wearing billboards
and now you've got a a Fox Sports radio colleague
as your your formal publicist. Listen, I know everyone's upset here.
You're jealous of the this story that Brian knows a
great writer. I mean, this guy should win a Pulitzer Prize. Okay,
you understand this guy is an amazing He's like Shakespeare.

(01:01:17):
He's a Mark Twain, he's Stephen King, He's Dr Seuss,
He's Edward Edgar Allan Paul Who, Oscar Wilde, he's all
the Ernest Hemingway, Charles Dickens. He's the pop laureate of
radio trade website. Yeah so so one of the radio
twit trade webs If you're on social media, tweet you know,
not that I want to promote myself, but I tweeted

(01:01:37):
this out all over the center, out on Facebook and stuff,
and yeah, they were. Brian works for a radio trade
industry website and he wrote an interview with me and
it was you know, it was cool. I thought it
was neat. It was usually I don't read those things.
I hate those things. I don't like to hear myself
on the radio. I don't like to read stories about me.
Not that many people write stories about me. But I

(01:01:58):
thought that came out no better than I anticipate. I
always expect the worst, so it came out pretty good.
He thought that way about this podcast, and we continue
to hit good numbers. Now we doubled the podcast, will
we double them again? Look at my goal for this
podcast is to get us to six figures by the
end of October, and I think we'll do it. Well,

(01:02:21):
Well we got I did see that my guy in
in Medford. Uh, he was in San Francisco and was
it Mark from Medford? I think that's his name, apologize
if it's not, but he he was in San Francisco. Anyways,
his kid he got his car broken into. He told
the whole store in the radio earlier this week, and
he he he did what I I said. I've I've
I've kiddered around for like the last year, saying, if

(01:02:43):
you really want to help the show out, uh, you
know have if you kids have smartphones, subscribe to the podcast.
Your wife, you know, subscribe to the podcast. It doesn't
and they don't actually have to present and be regular listeners.
But it helps us out because we they look at
how many subscribers we have, and that's a big thing
to continue the podcast. Otherwise we'll get rid of the
podcast if no one's actually subsgrimming. So it's it's an
easy way to bump up our numbers. And if everyone listening,

(01:03:05):
if you listening right now, added one person to the podcast,
we would end up doubling our audience every week. Right,
If if everyone did that, it's I think that's an
all Ponzi scheme for podcasting. I think, right well, I
mean we gotta get paid in order to make it
a Ponzi scheme. Man, that's a good point. We're not
getting paid. Gail listener Gail from Covina, California, right since,

(01:03:27):
she says, my husband was telling me about our five
he worked too many hours. Gail says, that's eighty miles
one way. What a nightmare. Uh, and so he is
too tired to ask questions, but on his behalf, Gail says,
that's a good What a good wife Gail is? How
great is that she's looking out for her husband anyway, Gail,
she asked the question on behalf of her husband. Why

(01:03:48):
does our five have an excructionary? Large number of commercials?
All right, let's go to gascon gascon? Why are there
so many commercials in this podcast? To give a count,
and if isial account, there's five total. There's one at
the beginning, one at the end which people don't listen
to can throw it closed out, and then three in
the middle which are embedded in. The reason why is

(01:04:09):
because we have so much content throughout the vast i
Heart Media podcasting network that the sales team has assigned
those advertisers to certain podcasts on the network and they
have now carried over onto ours. But we obviously would
like to generate our own establishment of advertisers and sponsors.

(01:04:31):
So that's why when you give out the email at
the end of the podcast, they can come our way
and we can change some of those things. Yeah, we
would love it. Man. If you if you're in business,
if you're big muckety muck and executive and believe it
or not, guest On, some of these people actually listen
to the show. Yeah, that's all right, I would I
would love to advertiser product. And you know, if you

(01:04:52):
like what we do with the sleep number beds on
the Overnight Show, we can do that kind of stuff
on the podcast. One thing I am not afraid of,
guest On, is going long on commercials. I am not
opposed to that at all. You told us you will
endorse the gay magazine if you get paid for it.
So as I learned early on, guessing you haven't learned
this yet. We in radio, we're really in the advertising

(01:05:13):
business because without the advertising, it's public radio. And then
we're screwed. Uh. A J from Oxford, Michigan rights and
he says, what the hell happened to Randy and Norman?
One of my callers back in the day, Rookie of
the Year to missing in Action? Ben. I feel like
this is one of the great unspoken mysteries of the show.
Was the shots potentially involved in the disappearance of Randy

(01:05:39):
in Norman, Oklahoma? The Militia demands answers also Tie or
t Y from Santa Cruz's Who's Your Favorite caller of
all time. He says, his is Randy. So two emails
are two questions about Randy and Norman. Uh. And to
answer the question, all I will tell you is what
I know a J. I believe that Randy was abducted
by aliens. Um no. I He got upset because of

(01:06:03):
a commercial that I was voicing for True Car, which
said the word bounce here. And he was so triggered.
You talk about the neurosis of people. I love Randy.
I wish Randy would call again. I I'm upset that
we lost Randy as a caller. I if anybody knows Randy,
if Randy, if you're listening callers again. But Randy got
so upset that I used the word bouncy here, he

(01:06:24):
stopped calling the show. He that was the trigger for him.
And who does that? Because I, by the way, here's
a spoiler alert on this one. I don't write the
copy on those commercials I am given by the sales
department in Fox. The commercials with the most of them
have talking points. But that was a commercial that I
had to read verbatim. I read it. I'm a trained seal.

(01:06:45):
They put something in front of me. I'm gonna read
it and so, you know, you guy quit the show
because of that. But Randy's Randy was great and means
so he had this this hokey delivery. We use a
lot of Randy drops as well. He was he was
pretty good. All right, we're doing it's in the bag.
We're gonna pick up the pace here because the fifth
hour is going to turn into the sixth hour as well. Um,

(01:07:06):
let's see here, let's get over one of these. Uh,
here's one from Bob. Would you and the crew ever
do remotes like at colleges? Yes, I would love to.
That would be great. But the problem is it costs
a lot of money for us to travel anywhere. And
that's if you know, that's that's that's the problem. I
remember years ago I proposed going on a national tour

(01:07:27):
on the radio show, getting some twenty four hour diners
somewhere in a national chain to sponsor the show and
just do remotes like I Hops or Denny's or you know,
Norms or those twenty four hour restaurants. But that never happened.
So I gotta be fun though, wouldn't that be fun
in the morning? Yeah, you don't have to go to
I mean, what cities would you choose, like at least

(01:07:48):
five throughout the country. You gotta be big Mallard malicious city.
So like Kansas City in Minsota, we do well in
in Minneapolis. Boston's been very good to me over the years.
Uh where where else? Students at Seattle has been good
to Seattle has been solid. We do pretty well there.
We've been well lately in the Bay Area in San Francisco,

(01:08:08):
which has been cool. We've got people on the big
sports station there. Uh and uh, Houston actually, but it's
like a love hate thing. I think I would need
like police escorts to go to Houston because of all
the things I've said about the Astros and the Texans,
Deshaun Watson those idiots over the years, and James Harden
and whatnot. But i'd be that'd be fun, Jason writes

(01:08:29):
in Jason from Ottawa. He's pretty funny, man, He says,
when will scientists declare Brian win Horse to be in
fact sasquatch your thoughts? Guess, guy, that's pretty damn good man.
That's really good. Wind Horse is a great basketball writer,
you know. I actually when I did Ben Mallard dot Com,
wind Horse was a local writer at the Akron Beacon

(01:08:52):
Journal in the Cleveland area, and I featured some of
his stuff and and uh we had some some correspondence
from time to time, briefly early on. And he's I
give him credit because you know, I used to look
like he looks right now, and I would never go
on television because I'd be like, oh my god, you know,
I don't know what I mean. He's gonna put people

(01:09:13):
like that on TV? Him? And what's that guy in
the bay, Ray Ratto? Right, that's the guy Ratto looks
like he has no business being anywhere. He looks like
a walrus. And uh, anyway, but he's I give him credit,
and these guys are on TV. Jason Otto was other question,
last one? When will there be a Ben Mallers sound
board available? Let's go to Guescon again. This is your
domain there. Could you put a sound board of some

(01:09:34):
of the great drops from callers and whatnot on the show,
or just stupid things that I've said, Well, we could
put I don't know, we could put a handful of
them on here. I just feel that it will water
down the authenticity of this podcast and also take away
from what you guys do money through Friday? Is that fair?
I think it is because people plus it's more work

(01:09:55):
for you, and you don't want to do that. That's
not true. I mine you wouldn't get paid for it.
I created that wonderful opening for to you. I actually
wrote the copy for it, had it actually done in
format it which people love. They've written emails and tweets
about it. So I did that. Um wow, you know
I want to take about why don't you do a

(01:10:16):
victory lab run around? Go ahead? Much like Gayls, much
like Gayle's husband d seventy five miles to come to
the studio to record this for you. So I do
a lot of do a lot of work for the
unappreciative Ben Mallory. You know you are such an eagle man.
This is why the militia hates you. You are not
a man of the people. You are not a man
of the people. And they're all hard working people that

(01:10:37):
works fifty hours a week. I'm I'm like one of them,
blue collar, but much like myself, they follow the code
of the West. You do take pride in your work.
You finish what you start, but you don't brag about it. Okay,
because it's you do what you're supposed to do. I
don't brag about so I'm gonna do the code of
the West. I gotta teach you the code of the Well,
moving on, don't stick to sports stories of the week.

(01:11:00):
This is the tawdry taboo and bazaar that aren't sports source.
Of course, most of this podcast has had nothing to
do with sports. Uh guess god, this is your domain.
Here one of the craziest bazaar, stupid stories that you've
seen all the last couple of days this week. Well,
I'm happy you had a great transition talk of the
last Well, how about this talk of the East? Dave East?
Do you know who that is? Do not? Dave East

(01:11:21):
is as a rapper. He's a New York City based rapper.
And uh, I'm more West Coast rap. I know, well,
what do you? I'm West Coast. I'm o g with Snoop. Yeah,
Snoop you know California girls. Oh that was not really rapping,
but yeah, alright, I bring him up because Snooper friends.
By the way, I sat next to Snoop at the lake.
He's in front of me, but he was real close,
did you no? I looked at his back game, but

(01:11:46):
he did. Yeah, go ahead, all right, Well, Davey's, the
rapper at New York was was pot last week in
Las Vegas. And the reason why, um, he got a
little after it after attending Drey's nightclub. I don't know.
I know you don't go to night club US, but
Dre's is an after hour nightclub, and uh, he was there,
brought a couple of girls back to his hotel room

(01:12:06):
and actually had a threesome while having the three. While
having the threesome, Ben, one of the women reportedly took
a couple of bottles of champagne, didn't open them, but
literally threw them at his dome. Officers came, Yeah, she
was naked, of course she was. Officers came, took her statement.

(01:12:27):
But then they also said he returned fire by throwing
punches at her during this whole melee because reportedly she
wasn't giving or he wasn't giving her enough of the business. Really, Yeah, alright,
couple of thoughts here. Number one, just I I don't
know any other than what you told me, But my
immediate knee jerk reaction, by theory is number one, that

(01:12:48):
he was not giving this lady enough attention. He was
focused more on the other lady, and it's very difficult.
I've not done that the I'm sure you do that
all the time, guest on the two against one or
one of its too, But I I believe in that environment.
The problem is that you have to multitask. It's like
chewing gum and walking at the same time. And it
can be it can be a problematic. And the other

(01:13:11):
thing is the law of unintended consequences. Right like you,
as a guy, you get into something like that, you're thinking,
everything's just gonna be like a movie you watch on
your favorite smutty website. You know, everything would be great,
everything gonna be perfect, And amazingly it does not working.
What good luck to Papa Bear. I hope that he
gets another opportunity there and everything. How about this, You've

(01:13:35):
you've been married for quite a while. Uh, not that long.
I'm still in the wedding bliss stage of the marriage.
If the miss has ever said, hey, Ben, we need
to go down a different path in our uh sexual experiences,
would you ever be open to that? Uh? No? I
mean I I I would most likely say not, uh,

(01:14:00):
just because I don't like to see myself naked. I'd
like to think that I, if I could, I would
wear a burka at all times. My wife does not
feel that way. My wife is a very beautiful woman,
and she loves to to show off the beautiful skin
and all that, her good looks and all that. But
I'm not. I like to hide, so I I would feel,

(01:14:21):
you know, bringing other people into the equation. Uh, third
man in. You know they have a ruling hockey third
man in. You can't do that. I bring that up
because of this. You remember a K forty seven, right
Andre Carolinko, You saw just skinny guy. Well, Thomas middle Ditch.
He's actually a television star for that show, A Silicon Value. Uh.

(01:14:42):
He went on an interview recently with Playboy, which I
don't know they still published material, but he actually said
that I thought they went out of business. Yeah, I
me did. I did too. Um. He said that an
open relationship actually saved his marriage. He said, only after
I got married was I like, Molly, I'm sorry, I
want to go non traditional here. So to her credit,

(01:15:02):
we were able to figure this thing out and she said, yeah,
let's figure this thing out all right. So the obviously
is a why bother. I mean, if you're just gonna,
you know, stoop anybody you want to stoop, then why
what's the point of being marriage? Okay? So what if
you're I know, there's like people have open marriages. I've
heard of that. I mean, that's a thing, especially in entertainment.
People do it. Why don't say I'm an open marriage? Okay?

(01:15:23):
So what about this though? What if you're a female
and you get married to Tim Tebow, who reported is
still a virgin and he's not cutting it in the sack? Yeah,
if you're a female and you have your needs, do
you go out the beaten path? Ah? I mean you
should try to. I mean people have urges in you know,
human nature takes over. I mean should try to avoid.

(01:15:44):
I mean there are some devices you can get that
will help massage the situation there if you will. But
I don't. Uh. The other the other thing about these
these relationships and all this stuff. I mean, it's like
the swinger clubs. I had a buddy mine years ago
that went to one of these things, and uh, and
it was telling me it was like it was all
like disgusting old people, you know what I mean, it's

(01:16:06):
the idea I think most guys have an idea that
they and and I've not been to these things, so
maybe this guy was just it was one experience. But
I mean, you envisioned this being again like a porno
where everyone's beautiful and all that stuff. But I have
a feeling that at these places, these swing clubs, that
they're just disgusting, ugly people most of the time. I mean,
there's probably a couple of good looking people, but I
that's how I envisioned this. That's another reason for me

(01:16:27):
not to take part. Fair enough, This is a special
shout out to Chris and Houston. I know you will
love this story and the one on the podcast. Right
he's demanding to come on the podcast. Chris wants to
be our first guest. Well, he's actually coming on right
now in a special kind of way. Bena, a Houston man,
was recently wanted by authorities, and the reason why was
because he actually filed and completed a divorce without his

(01:16:51):
wife's permission, so he could he committed aggravated perjury when
he went through the divorce process signing all the documents
without his wife's can scent Wow? Yeah, Like I I
saw that this is an amazing story to me. All Right,
this is cloak and dagger, this is outlaw, this is bootleg,

(01:17:11):
this is all of those adjectives. What a like villainist
type slimeball. But at the same time you're the arch villain.
But you respect, you respect the effort that I wouldn't
even think that you could pull something like. Obviously he
didn't pull this off. But you I imagine, and I

(01:17:33):
don't know if this is true enough, but imagine the
whole time this is going on, He's not tipping his
wife off at all. Right, he's just you know, living
his married life, and and he's filling out all the
paperwork and all this stuff. And uh, he's completely in
the clueless about the whole thing. I love the effort.
How about the effort on this one. Uh, an eight
hundred pound opioid cooking spoon was actually delivered to the

(01:17:54):
front door of Johnson Johnson's New Jersey campus just a
couple of days ago by an activist and an artist
Ben This this thing is huge. It's like, it's obviously
a real life form, but eight hundred pounds. It's a
curve spoon. So I guess the best way to describe
it as if you ever watched the Matrix and they
bent the spoon one way, it was pretty much it's

(01:18:15):
an old magic trick. You can bend spoons. You get
the spoon hot, you can bend it. Uh it is
did did the lame jokes were actually earlier in the week,
But did the spoon smack down? Guests kind of get it?
Was it delivered by Aunt Hazel? Did she come out there?
And yeah, special kind of stuff. So it's a ten

(01:18:36):
ft long, eight hundred pounds spoon, and obviously it's dedicaid
towards the opioid crisis here in the United States. So
run the front doorstep of Johnson and Johnson. That's that's
a pretty solid move. It's a yeah, Johnson and Johnson.
We all these these drug companies are facing these living
lawsuits and some of them are settling and stuff. I've
been reading these stories. But the the heroin thing, it's

(01:18:59):
a big deal. It's a big problem. I got a
lot of guys that listen to me that have had
either been on the heroin or they're on the heroine
right now, or Fenton all or all that stuff. Man,
it's a big it's a big problem. And I it's
it's it sucks because people start out they need the stuff,
they get injured or something like that, the doctors give
it to him, and then they get addicted to it,
and then they're buying the crap on the backyards and

(01:19:19):
garages and stuff like that. It sucks. Speaking of crapple
and on a on a low note here, Um, I
know how a teen was actually busted a couple of
days ago. He was sent I want to hear you
give this story. That's what I would like to do
this so Ohio teen was actually sentenced to jail after
he admitted to uh serving his teacher a crepe. Um. Yeah, Ben,
it was part of a bad joke during a cooking competition.

(01:19:42):
The crepe just wasn't any original kind of crepe with
maybe some bananas and whipped cream and some eggs in it.
It was a semen tainted crepe that he served to
his teacher in the Navy. He's a seaman of yours.
My rim shot, I need a rim shot, Yeah, God,

(01:20:04):
I need a rim shot. That's a bad job, but
you yeah, that's right. Thirty days in jail and the
detention center for obviously uh supplying his teacher with a
tainted covered creepe. Yeah. I mean, here's how I relate
to this story. Not that I've ever eaten a crepe
in that in that way, but we get said a
lot of mail listen that way. Well we we well,

(01:20:24):
we get sent mail food from listening a couple of
days ago. I know. Yeah, well we're not that's an
HR matter. We're not supposed to be talking. That's with
I heart HR. But um. But but yeah, so I
I get sent food and and and stuff, and most
of it if it's if it's open, you're you're always concerned,

(01:20:45):
right If your listener comes and brings food in, you
don't know if they've added some extra spices on it
or whatever their own their own touch. But usually I'll
have Coope eat some of it first or one of
the other guys, and and we'll see if it's any
good or not. And then if they don't die within
an hour, I figure it's probably pretty good, so I'll
just I'll have something. Here's the thing, though, this is
a tricky spot because this teenager wasn't the only one. He,

(01:21:08):
along with seven other students, were actually accused of the
assault and for the crimes so execution wise, I'm gonna
have some listeners that give us an idea of how
this thing would go down. Well, I would think that
it's pretty obvious how it would go down. You need
to get the substance. How do you get the substance?

(01:21:30):
But would you feel comfortable with six other participants in
this prank with you? Well, you think they all stood
around in a circle at the same time and did this?
Is that what you're like? I would imagine they just
passed this thing, this thing around is all your turn
going to do your business? I don't know. I'm not
the baker here. I like that all these uh, these

(01:21:53):
young young people that do this kind of stuff. Everything's
recorded so right, It's like everything's documented with a cell
phone vide you know. It's just wonderful. That's where that's good.
That's what we got for the five stories. All right,
very good. So there it is an extended version. I boy,
I'm he's listening right now and extending version of the
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and David Guescot. So if

(01:22:14):
you want to contact us, send a question in for
a future episode. Tells you love us, hate us, give
us that feedback. We get on the radio show. We
need it on the podcast as well. It's it's very important.
Guestcott needs an ego massaged. I don't. I'm okay with that,
but email me. It's the real fifth Hour Gmail, the real,
the real. I'm sorry, I thought it was just real.

(01:22:34):
Maybe give me got the wrong email address or maybe
I just said the wrong one. All right, now you
see now you're confusing me. It's a bad job by you, Guestcott, okay,
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. I need you
to do me a favor though. I need you to
change the password because I get these emails straight to
my phone and every time it's an indication it comes

(01:22:56):
from this account, and it's all spam, like what are
you looking at on your computer? Because I get all
this junk email from you know, for prescription pills and
for singles one in the date. I don't get any
of that. I don't get any of that. And uh
and I will warn you if you email the real
just real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Guesstcon reads

(01:23:20):
all the email first. I'll go there and everything as
soon as you send it. In guest On such an egomaniac,
he will have to read like hill Billy, Myke or
Greg or Jimmy or these guys. They'll send questions in
Bill and these guys and and and guestcon Readson before
I even have a chance to look at them, like
I get I get open mail. I don't get unopened mail.
I get open mail by the time I look at it.

(01:23:41):
Because of you, and also hit us up on our
social media channels. We we really want to crank up
the Reddit page. I'm a big fan of Reddit. I
liked the product that they haven't read it, so probably
the one. I'm on the most of the social media
pages for stuff to talk about on the show, and
it's interesting. I love it. So it's uh the reddit
subreddit is Ben Maller's show. So if you're on Reddit,

(01:24:02):
you know what that is. Suburb at Ben mallor in
the Facebook page, uh is great Ben Maller Show, by
the one Ready and the Facebook page Ben Mallers Show
as well, and then on Twitter just Ben Maller and
those are the ways to reach it. So I have
a great weekend. We'll be back on Sunday night to
recap week three in the NFL on the radio show
and to also download Benny Versus the Penny, the other podcast,

(01:24:23):
which won't be that long this week unless unless we
change some schedules around. We'll get to all that uh,
and we'll do it on the next edition of the
Fifth Hour, So have a great weekend.

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