May 15, 2020 • 49 mins
Ever been on the verge of being arrested? If that's ever the case down the road, you might need to call Big Ben and his vigilante wingman.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now that it does in a hello
to you. Whenever you listen to the podcast, the odd
think about podcast as you can listen to the morning,
you can listen to the afternoon, the evening. I think
you figured that out by now. But welcome in as
we are in the air everywhere, the vast power of
the I Heart podcast Network, the global reach of podcasting
(00:46):
not constrained by the Federal Communications Commission. No no, no no.
We can say fuck on the podcast. Yes we can.
Occasionally we do, but I try not to do that
because here's the problem. All right, I'm trying to limit
my prof and I'm gonna explain during the podcast why
I'm trying to limit my profanity. I had an epiphany
before I was doing this, and so I will explain
(01:07):
coming up. Even though I began by saying fuck, I
will explain why I'm trying to limit my profanity. And uh,
it is the fifth Hour with Ben Mallory and and
because four hours or not enough in the Overnight show,
four hours and not enough. And this is eight days
a week, that's right now. Because of the pandemic, we
started cranking out more podcast than the salt mines here
(01:28):
of my heart. And so we do this podcast for
you Friday, Saturday and Sunday, just like that. Rat tat
tat is how it works. You figure that out. The
subscribe be part of it and uh and all that
and for better or worse, yet again, the people that
run this company have put me with David gascon offetually
(01:53):
known in the followays have you ever come to Fox
Sports Radio, He's known as gat On. It's been a
rather peculiar week for me. Ben. It's oh, yeah, you
want to share your life story here with us? You
want to yeah, you know Uma. Earlier in the week,
I was actually pleasantly surprised by a couple of alarming
(02:16):
compliments by you. Um, and then I took my act
to social media and I was blindsided by your better half,
your your wife took a swipe and a shot at me,
and so weird paradigm that's going on right now. I'm
not really comfortable with all this, but uh, that's where
I mat and where we're at as I just want
to point out for the deep state people, the conspiracy
(02:39):
people that believe that there's some funny business going on,
that Gascon didn't even make it to the two minute
thirty second mark in the podcast without mentioning my wife's name,
so that that will of course feed. That's like jet
fuel for the conspiracy here a gascon. So thank you
for throwing red meat into the lines. Then I do
(02:59):
appreciate ate that. Very helpful, very helpful. To be perfectly transparent.
You were actually on a show that I was on
earlier in the week with Rob Parker and Chris Brossard,
and Rob Parker brought up your wife, So that is true.
That was equally awkward. That was equally awkward as well.
And I my wife loves it because she's getting all
this attention to get big head and all that. You know,
(03:20):
I said, you gotta be you gotta keep level headed.
You know you can't. You know, I don't just because
these guys are big fans you can't. You know, you
gotta be on the even keel. You know, I'm the
man of the people. You gotta be the woman of
the people. You can't be like this elitist, snobbish west
of the four oh five type of additive because I'll
go deranged if that happens. I I don't want to
(03:40):
become unhinged or anything like that. But yeah, you actually
did help me out. You and it was shocked because
you tipped me off to what was my favorite story
of the week. Yeah. I got a text from guest guy.
He's like, hey, do you see this thing with Blake Snell?
As like, you know, I don't watch twitch, and uh,
(04:01):
sure enough, he sent me. He sent me the story
and I looked there. I had did some research on it,
added some stuff to it, and we put a monologue together.
That was my favorite monologue of the week because I
love talking about the senseless whack job, you know, I
just love it, the the nonsense and and just Blake
Snell is everything to hate about professional athletes. And I
(04:22):
love sports, and I have friends that are ex athletes
and I get along with them, but that is like
the the ultimate asshole donkey. Uh, Mama, Luke, you can
possibly have. And so I wish nothing but bad things
to Blake Snell because he's just an idiot. Everyone's taking
pay cuts, got you guys still gonna make over a
million dollars and he's sitting there bitching and complaining. It's
(04:44):
just out all control, is what it is. So I
did that's a that's a good job by you. You know,
it's you know, Coop sends me like seven or eight
stories a day, and I based my monologues around those,
unless he doesn't. So I wanted to give you the
proper credit on the I was a little hesitant because
it's stun because you actually you had You are the
(05:05):
probably only person I know on planet Earth that actually
had the audacity to open up a show with a
Blake Snell monologue and you did that. Correct me if
I'm wrong. I think you did this two years ago
just before the All Star break. Yeah, I did, I remember,
because you were very upset with me and you complained.
Is that I can't believe it. You're you know, you
(05:28):
should be reprimanded by management. What are you doing a
Blake Snell? You know, he's just like complaining none stop,
and uh yeah. At one point I think the we
were talking about um Blake Snell or I think it
was baseball. It was I did one last year was
like Blake Snell or Chris Sale, like who's gonna who?
(05:50):
Who had the more concerning perform or something, and I
ranted more about Blake Snell and I was like, you know,
at that time, I was like, hey, I would like
to Dodgers to get this guy, you because he had
a bad start. But I think these guys been a
pretty good picture and he's a pretty good picture. It's
just a dick, um, you know. That's it. Uh and
uh And now I don't want the Dodgers to get
him at all. I want nothing to do with Blakes now. Um.
(06:13):
But yeah, I mean those are the kind of stories
that are just they don't happen that often. And fortunately
this is a pandemic that we had time to fully
invest in it. And uh and I saved it. I
saved it for the last hour. You know. We went
on that big new affiliate in Dallas, which I'm very
excited about. I told the story on the air, but
we're on the ticket now, the major station in Dallas,
(06:35):
and I tried to get a job at the Ticket
when I was in my younger days, when I was
first starting out, I was actually working for Hacks on
San Diego, and I had sent the tape out, you know,
that's how you did it, a cassette tape and a
resume or what. I don't resume because I hadn't done anything.
And so I sent it out to all these radio
stations and they rejected me. And I had they were
(06:55):
in the box somewhere, and I gotta go down my
dad's house. I kept a shoe box filled with rejection
letters from from like w e I kJ R in Seattle,
k n b R in San Francisco, the Ticket in Dallas,
the Score in Chicago, and all these big sports stations
that would not even dare hire me. And uh w
(07:18):
f A N was on that list, w I P
in Philadelphia and all I just like I assumed, I
just walked into like a top fifteen market, you know,
with no problem, and didn't happen. But it's great. The
Tickets a wonderful brand, if you will, in sports talk,
very loyal following, and so it's exciting to be on
a big new radio station and U and the timing
(07:41):
is perfect. And I say that because of this you
hear this a lot, especially since you know you do
vo stuff. Is that at times people can oddly enough,
people can hear you smile. And I think for the
first time in quite a while, under this quarantine, I
actually heard you smile via Sweet. And it was earlier
(08:02):
in the week with the Deshaun Watson fiasco, and it
was like you were like a pig and slop. You
were so giddy about this Deshaun Watson fiasco. I just like,
this is this is butter on the bread baby. Yeah.
Well yes, and me and DeShawn have sparred in the
past and uh and all that, and I know he's worshiped.
(08:25):
But I always get a kick out of these guys
that are insufferable big stars that just are thin skinned
and can't deal with people you know, on social media
or people in the media and all this. But Deshaun Watson,
he lied, He got caught lying, and then he tried
to get his way out of it. He had the
(08:45):
people around him, his confidence. He was like, well, no,
everyone loves before the draft, Okay, I guarantee you if
Deshaun Watson this involved Gottlieb because Gottlieb. It was reacting
to a common Gottlieb made on Fox. But um, but
my point is this, like if if he hey, he
he had realized and and remembered Deshaun Watson that he
(09:07):
had and he was he was talking about black quarterbacks,
he implied the Chicago Bears or like the KKK essentially,
and that's what the story was. And then you know,
the woke Twitter all got a you know, their panties
in a bunch and they were all upset and so uh.
They had the marching morons who were like running around
just unloading on the Chicago Bears. We're not having black
(09:27):
quarterbacks and they didn't want to even talk to Deshaun Watson. Well,
then there's audio of Deshaun Watson talking about it on
the Dan Patrick Show. And then they go back and
look at some of the reports and they were like,
wait a minute, the Bears, GM and coach were at
Clemson's pro day to watch Deshaun Watson work out. Wait
a minute here, uh, And they were like one of
only four teams to send both their coach and GM,
(09:47):
which would lead one to believe that they were there
to see Deshaun Watson and to consider contemplate drafting Deshaun Watson.
So his story completely unraveled as it turns out. And uh,
and so you know, he was caught red handed and
I took full advantage, full advantage of unloading on the ragamuffin.
(10:08):
And uh and I did. And did you have any
media personalized come at you, like any reporters, anchors or
writers at all? Because you go through Gottlieb's timeline and
you had people from ESPN, people from CBS, and they
looked like a lot of former colleagues and they just
obviously want to get their body shots and and you're like,
(10:28):
wait a minute. Be sure to catch live editions of
The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern
eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I
Heart Radio app. You're talking about before the other part
came out right when the initial you talking about the
initial thing before? Sean, Yeah, I mean because listen ESPN
and particular I got friends that were there, Jack sniffers.
(10:50):
You know, that's the test, you know, Yeah, that's how
you do it. You have sniff all the athletes ship
and just love it. And uh, you know a lot
of these people, so I listen. My my position, uh
is yeah, I did see some of it. And as
far as me being attacked by by media people, I
have been assaulted by like a lot of like local
(11:11):
small time you know, your town small time, the media
small time when they're like, uh, ambassadors to the team.
You know, it's like I I've gotten into it with
sports writers in Cleveland and Phoenix for good reason, a
couple of other locations and uh yeah, I mean listen,
it's all the just slabber slabber slabber lick lick lick.
(11:34):
They want to give these athletes a manny and a
petty and it's it's disturbing, but it goes on all
the time, and you know, it's like whatever, it's it's
it's it's ridiculous, is what it is. But it is
the way it is. And you know, I choose not
to do that kind of radio where you just give
guys bubble baths. I know you do that something you
(11:58):
like to give a little neck massage to the guys.
Want to be fair though, you know this like when
you work for a local or regional affiliate or a team,
a lot of your advertising dollars are pushed towards that product,
and so you can't be lightning a fire to your
own feet for the sake of just having a hot
take out there, or you know, for all intents of
(12:18):
purposes a legit sincere take. Well, that's true, but you
also don't need to give them a Swedish massage. You know,
there's a balance there, And it seems like a lot
of these guys are just you know, they love the nuts,
you know what I'm saying. But it's slurp slip slip slip, slip,
slip slip slip, slurp slip. But it's odd, right because
(12:39):
you wake up every day around two or three o'clock
in the afternoon and your your Twitter account is just
guys giving you a tongue bath. It's not It's not. No,
that's not true at all. I think so like guys
are I know, the attack dogs are out the attack poodles.
I got attacked by the attack poodles this week. Why
I tweeted out a story from there was a Yahoo's
(13:03):
story which actually they picked up from some other news
site because Yahoo just aggregates a lot most of their stuff.
So but it was about the state of Florida and
Georgia reopening, and how the coronavirus cases had gone down
even though they reopened. And so this was a tremendously
exciting piece of information because, as I pointed out, when
(13:26):
the announcement came down first for Georgia back in late April,
and you know, it's only a couple of weeks back,
and they had said, hey, we're going to reopen, and uh,
I watched the news, and I went on the internet
and went to the websites, the mainstream news media, and
they had experts on that said, this is going to
be terrible. Uh, this is going to be horrific that
people are gonna, you know, die, and the the tremendously
(13:48):
in the coronavirus raid is gonna go through the roof
and blood on the hands of the politicians in Georgia,
blood on the hands of the politicians in Florida. Now
keep in mind, at they opened up Georgia, there were
still a bunch of restrictions in place. It's not like
they completely opened it up and said all right, everyone
run a muck and everything's the way it was. There
(14:10):
were restrictions on how many people can go into the businesses,
and things like that. Um, and yet the mainstream media
is like just oh yeah, this is gonna be doom
and glowm and all this stuff. So I treated out
the story. It said, Hey, this and this is this
is great news. The uh, the numbers are going down,
and I think we should all celebrate this this. You know,
we're all in this together and this is wonderful. So
(14:31):
what do you think happened? Guests on to the attack poodles?
What do you think the attack Poodles did to me?
I think they were probably calling you insensitive, uh your
far right wing? Oh yeah, yeah. They were comparing me
to Alex Jones that very similar, tweeting out a story
from Yahoo and uh, you know, going full Alex Jones.
(14:51):
By the way, I'm not an Alex Jones guy, but
I don't think you should be banned the way he's
been banned. I think it's ridiculous that because you people
don't like what he says, he's not allowed to say it.
To me, that's very Unamerican, Like I think I I
My problem is I give people the benefit of the doubt.
Like a lot of people don't like what I say
(15:11):
and just don't listen. You know don't. But but by powering,
whether it's Alex Jones or anybody in the media, by powering,
by empowering them, and by admitting, oh, I'm so offended
by what you're saying, you're actually giving them more power.
And these idiots don't realize. It's like there are people
that say stuff all the time like that's bullshit this
(15:32):
you know that this guy's an idiot or whatever, and
I don't pay attention to him. But it's like people
lost that skill somewhere along the way, you know, And
I don't know why, and but you know, somewhere along
the way, and it's like stick. When I was a kid,
I learned sticks and stones may break your bones, but
names will never harm you. Somewhere we lost that. Well.
I think social media allowed people to lose it on
(15:54):
their own accord, because you're so quick to respond that
how often. I'm a little bit different in this regard that.
You know, even if something I don't agree with or
I think it's just straight bs, like you said, I
like to at least listen to it. I mean, I
listened to all kinds of things, guilty information overload, but
I like to at least listen to people, like their perspective,
(16:16):
their context, how they're actually viewing these things. I like
to do that, and for me, especially in this situation,
we got friends all across the country. So different states
have different governors, they have different doctors that are working
in different hospitals, and so you gotta get the lay
of the land. You know. Here in Los Angeles, I
get friends at work at us A Medical Center in
Westwood and Santa Monica down in Torrance, and they're telling
(16:39):
me things they are drastically different than friends that are
in Orange County at different hospitals out there. So yeahs you.
I've told the story for I was growing up. My
my dad conservative, my mom miss you rest in peace,
a liberal, and I as a little kid when I
was eating my salmon patties with my mac and cheese
as a little Betty, and that's the last time I
eat fish was salmon pat as my mom would make
(17:00):
and with the onions on top, and uh, and I
like the onions because they were burned up. And my
mom and dad would debate about the political news of
the day, and I'd get my mom's side to get
my dad's side, and I just listen to everything that. Yeah,
I mean I watched all this stuff and you know
a lot. That's another skill, like just being able to
consume all sides without oh my god, my my new michigas.
(17:23):
And this is really a problem once you Once you
go down this rabbit hole, what I'm about to tell you,
there's no going back. Um, so be careful. I'm putting
a disclaimer on this. But when I'm watching the news,
I say that near quotes, I look for the weasel words,
and then I just I'm incited. Uh you know what
(17:44):
I mean, Like I'm like, oh, I got ways of
ways wide, you know, and I there's there's so overwhelming,
They're so overwhelming here, Uh could may might maybe po possibly,
you know, all of these things, all of these things
(18:04):
are just that's how the news is done without weasel words.
You cannot have the news. I'm convinced you cannot have
the news without projections. That's essentially what you're doing. All
the world shut down because of projections, not because of facts,
because of projections, which is amazing to me. And and
(18:26):
it's like, okay, let's take the position. That's good, that's
the right thing to you. And I don't totally disagree
with that that that is the proper thing. If people
tell you a bunch of people are gonna die, you
have to do this or other people gonna die. That's
completely reasonable for politicians to do it. But then when
the data comes back and tells you the opposite, that
it's not nearly as bad as the initial reports out
of Wuhan, China, then you have to say, Okay, who
(18:50):
needs to be quarantined here? Clearly, if you're someone of
a certain age and you have pre existing conditions and
you've got these problems, I feel you've got to continue
the quarantine. But if you look at the numbers for
people that are younger and people that are you know,
at a certain age, without the pre existing conditions and
all that stuff, you have a better chance of crossing
(19:13):
the streets several times getting hit by a bus than
dying of the coronavirus. But yet you tell people that
and you're oh my god, you're You're just such an asshole.
I can't listen to you anymore. I was like, oh
my god, does it Does it make you nervous? When
you're always on a tight rope, uh, hanging from the
third rail? You have I think like in some way
(19:34):
as that we we've pushed you towards that. But well, no, no,
I was, I was. I don't. I'm not like people
are starting to think like I'm this political guy. I'm not.
I'm really not. I I just am very I'm very
concerned that my life's work is gonna go away here
because of this, uh, this pandemic. To be honest with you,
I mean, I think that's a big part of it.
And if I thought that everyone was gonna die, I
(19:56):
would be like, Okay, you know what, well, well this
is the right thing to do. But this is the
wrong thing to do. And I because I worked a
long time in radio, I think the show is going
pretty well. But I'm telling you, if the global recession
kicks in and the country stays mostly shut down, I'll
eventually lose my job. It's going to happen, um, and
so I'd like to avoid that. I like my job.
(20:16):
I feel like I've gotten a pretty good place at it.
I have friends of mine that have already lost their jobs. Uh.
And I just think it's unnecessary. If if I felt
it was necessary, that would be different. I don't think
it's necessary. I think it's irrational. I think what's happening
now because of the science that's out there which is encouraging,
and to have reckless disregard to that science that you know,
(20:38):
to what is the new truth, is just very upsetting. Yeah,
but you know, you you mentioned it with your life's work.
It's not just you, like people that are listening and
have listened. I mean you think about it as a
micro or a macro. People that are our age or
a little bit older, a little bit younger, that have
been fortunate with income and resources, they're also losing their
(21:02):
life's work and it's gonna take a long time to recover,
like you mentioned. So yeah, yeah, I mean it depends
how older. I guess if you're you're you know, of
a certain age, it's not a matter to If you're
in your twenties, would be fine, but if you're a
little older, Um, you know, the clock is a ticking.
You know, there's only a limited shelf life we all
have here, and the damage by the time it's repaired,
you'll someone else will be reaping the benefits of the
(21:24):
damage that it's taking place right now. And it's like
that doc I tweeted out a link to the doctor
from Stanford, which is a very conservative school. As you know,
guess got a lot of great conservatives have come out
of Stanford. Be sure to catch live editions of the
Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern Pacific. Yeah,
and so this doctor from Stanfords like given this whole
(21:47):
He's given all these numbers about how you know, every
month in America there's a hundred and fifty thousand people
that get diagnosed with cancer, and the death rate from cancer,
depending on what kind of cancer, is much earth than
the numbers from the coronavirus. But yet these people, many
of them are not being screened for cancer, so they're
walking around. We've got a bunch of people wandering around
(22:08):
that have cancer but haven't been told they have it,
to treat it, to try to get on top of it,
because many the good news is a lot of cancers.
If you find it early enough, you can you can
CounterPunch it and you've got your odds are pretty good.
But if you don't, you know, that's a death sentence.
And so it's just frustrating. You see that. You think
about the poverty side of it, um and it's it's
(22:30):
just so upsetting when you look at all that and
it's like, you know, this guy's a Stanford doctor, but
you know, we totally people just dismiss him and whatever
Dr Fauci says is the end all be all, and
it's just it's just very upsetting because and the other
thing too, with the back to the Georgia Florida thing
(22:51):
that I tweeted out the story to that link, which
I thought was great, like this is wonderful. Um, the
wait two weeks crowd got very upset with me. You
know what, the wait two weeks a crowd is guest gone. Yeah,
they're the ones that are pretty much telling you to
wait an additional two weeks add for the first flattening
of the curve. Yeah, it was you know, kick the
(23:14):
I call it to kick the can down the road
crowd because the then they're also must be honest here.
I mean, they are cheering for you to die if
you live in Georgia and Florida. These are the people
that would like to see you in the ground. They
weren't you dead, and they will celebrate. They will celebrate
a win in that case, which it seems very odd
(23:36):
to me that you would cheer for that. Um, but
it certainly appears that that argument. And see the funny
things they say, wait two weeks and then people will say, well,
Florida has only been open for like nine ten days.
See it got you, got you Gotti. And then I
pointed out Gasca, Well George has been open for twenty days.
She said two weeks. It's been twenty days, which I believe,
and I'm using mallory math. That's over. That's over two weeks, right,
(23:58):
twenty days. You have almost three weeks. Now it's now
it is, as we're doing this in real time, it's
been twenty twenty one days. So um, and we just
keep moving the goalposts as they say. Right, it's like,
well it didn't happen, but it's gonna happen. I'm gonna
tell you right now. Alright, hundred years from now, someone
will write a story that everyone living right now died
from the coronavirus because we're all gonna be dead a
(24:19):
hundred years from now. So you know, there you go.
It's uh, it's unfortunate. But you know, we highlighted this
a couple of weeks ago, that this is gonna be
a red versus blue thing, and it's gonna be a
right versus wrong. And you get people on social media,
doesn't matter where they're at, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and all
of a sudden, they're practicing doctors and practicing attorneys, and
(24:40):
you know, they know about federal law and case law,
and they know about being an epidemiologist or a virologist
or whatever it may be. And everyone's got their own opinion,
which is great. But you know, I remember, just back
of the day, the only person I ever saw really
on news that could bat less than five hundred and
still keep their job was a weather girl or weather guy.
(25:03):
And now you carry that over to where we're at
now with the models, and there have been people that
have been way off the mark, some that have blown
the estimates far far away from where they are now,
and some that have underestimated it. And like, where's the
accountability for any of that, because you know, everyone's trying
to point the finger at somebody else when you know
(25:25):
we have the capability, like we do depending on what
states you are, to look at your mayor, look at
your surrounding mayors, and then look at the governor as
opposed to, well, we need federal this, we need federal
of that, which obviously is good for a crutch. At
the same time, like you should work from the inside
out because every state is different, and we've fallen victim
unfortunately as a nation, to looking at what happened in
(25:48):
New York and taking that as a general for what
is happening in you know, Montana or South Dakota, or
Florida or California or Arizona. It's a massive state. Anyone's
ever flown from the East coast to the west coast
is like, unbelievably how large the United States is. It's
amazing and it's awesome. It's what it is, wonderful, I
(26:09):
agree with you. And it's so different geographically when you know,
you go to Iowa as opposed to New York City
or Boston, or you know, you go to the out
in the you know, Idaho, or even like a big
state like Texas where there's parts of it that are
very rural and out in the middle of nowhere, out
in West Texas, and then you've got these big metropolis
(26:30):
is in Dallas and Houston and San Antonio places like that,
and it's like, I think there's one answer to everything.
These people are convinced that there's one answer, and it's
just getting not see here. This was the question I
wanted to ask, and I'm glad you brought it up.
If if we were to like take a pragmatic approach
to this, let's say you went from Benny brightside Um
to Governor Benny, how would you approach this from a
(26:54):
professional standpoint, because like here in California, Gavin Newsum doesn't
want to have fans in the stand which is understandable,
but he also doesn't expect sports to be back anytime soon.
Where you have Governor Ronda Santis in Florida, Governor Doocey
in Arizona, they want to bring sports in. But there's
been speculation and a lot of people have been talking
about once the fall to winter comes those seasons that
(27:16):
we're gonna see a second wave of the coronavirus. So
if that's the case, like you know obviously what the
NFL season, It runs from September to January, and they
get the Super Bowl early in February. That's during this season,
the fall in the winter season. Same thing with college
basketball in the NBA and the NHL seasons. So what
do you do because we're not going to get a
(27:37):
vaccine anytime soon. How do you actually manage this and
at the same time allow these guys and the women
and the men that are in the front office is
to still take a reasonable pay cut and make a
salary for themselves in their family. All right, So the
first thing I do is I I base my reaction
on the actual numbers. So the numbers are encouraging, and
(28:00):
so I would base it on that. And and essentially
what you do is what they've often done. We've talked
about this in the past. If I'm the governor of California,
here's what I say. I say, listen, uh, if you
are over the age of sixty five, then you have
to take extra precautions. If you have a pre existing condition,
then I'll list them. You know, if you have diabetes,
(28:21):
if you have you know, some kind of heart issue
or something long issue, whatever it might be. I'll go
through the list and I'll say, all right, if you're
on this list, if you have a pre existing condition,
then you also have to take different actions than the rest. Now,
you should still be cautious, right, I'm not saying you
go out there and you're totally just a wild banshee
(28:44):
running running a muck and all that. But you you
will open up stories, you put limits on it and whatnot,
and kind of slowly work it back up. But you
don't do what California is doing when they're talking about
three more months of of this nonsense. I saw that
Joe Rogan's talking about leaving California now after some of
(29:05):
the other people have said that, And we'll see if
any of them actually do. But yeah, that that would
be the first thing I would do. I said, listen,
here's the deal. We're gonna do what they've done in
the past in America and globally, and we will protect
the people that are most at risk. But we are
not going to shut down the economy. The economy will
go on. People need to work, people have to make
(29:26):
money to pay their bills. We're not gonna make everyone
dependent on the government getting an unemployment check. We're not
gonna make it like that. And then you move forward,
and then if if the science changes and it turns
out that there's some new information, you adjust at that
particular point. But you don't shut down society based on,
(29:46):
as you said, a weather report. And I actually wanted
to bring that up because it reminds me of a
book I read years ago about infommercials. How does this
relate to infommercial So I read a book and they
were talking about the early days before television, you know,
and people would go around the original Uh, the original
(30:09):
infomercial was the state fair where pitchman or the boardwalk
where pitchmen would go out, and uh, they were like
snake oil sales And I remember reading about the Kickapoo
Indian Medical Company. You ever heard about the Kickapoo Indian
Medical Company. They toward the country, They went to boardwalk,
(30:31):
street fairs, county. You know. Country fairs were the sticks.
They're all over the place. And these Kickapoo Indian Medical
Company people promised all these local yokels at the boardwalk,
the street fair, the county fair, that they would cure
whatever was wrong with them. All right, you're sick, we
gotta cure for that. Yeah, it hasn't rained. We gotta
(30:54):
cure for that. They would go up on stage and
they would strangle rattlesnakes on stage to use as an elixir, right,
and they then sold it to the crowd. That's actually
where the term snake oil salesman comes from. Is the
Kickapoo Indian Medical Company. But the reason I bring this
up is because once people bought the stuff and it
(31:14):
didn't work, they were already gone. They were onto the
next town and people were left holding the snake oil.
And uh, it's it's almost the same situation here with
the science. And you come out and say, oh my god,
the dudes, that clock's been moved up. You know, everyone's
gonna die. We're all gonna die. And then doesn't happen,
and nobody goes back and says, hey, dummy, why did
(31:36):
you do that? You you were completely wrong. And then
the other thing that annoys me is when when people
do go back, they said, well, you know he was right.
He was that was the right thing to say. And
I'm like, come on, you know you got a side
on caution. I mean, come up, glad, that is the idea, right.
I'm glad I got to I've not used the Kickapoo
Indian Medical Company ever, so I'm glad I finally got that.
(31:58):
I was in the back of my head. I'm that
I head. Then that's good right out. So I mean,
but that's the idea, right, I Mean, we have people
that are in different specialties, so if you are a doctor,
you're you're natural. You're more inclined to err on the
set of caution as opposed to being aggressive or the
hipocritic oath. Right, you have to protect and right in
the hippocratic oath, and all I have to look out
(32:19):
for people and their best interest in all that. Yeah,
I mean, And so I this stems back to you know,
I had a great conversation with a friend a few
days ago about this particular topic. Because professional athletes are
one thing, whether it's Major League Baseball, the NFL, NBA,
h L, whatever it may be. But if you're talking
about college athletics, then what do you do Because you
(32:40):
have the twenty three you see schools here in California
that are being closed off of the fall, and then
you have the state schools, which are obviously an additional
elements to school. But if these guys can't play, or
if there's a thought that fall is gonna be no
football but spring will be, you still need time to
get these guys in a camp. You need time to
(33:00):
get them into shape, and that doesn't include what's going
on right now and into the summertime. So if you
think you can get them into shape by spring, I
think you get another thing coming, especially if you think
there's a second wave coming. And then on top of that,
you know this what happens with all the prep athletes
that are seniors, Because we've seen plenty of dudes, whether
(33:20):
it's football or baseball that are dudes as soon as
they get into the Division one program and they play
right away. So what do you do for them to
get them acquimant to the D one level? Like do
you do you allow these kids to transfer out of state?
And do you allow the the colleges to bring in
other talent from other universities that can't play? Like, how
do you amend that Fox Sports Radio has the best
(33:43):
sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our
shows at Fox Sports Radio dot com and within the
I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live. Yeah,
here's the thing. I saw something about this that is
loosely related with the college world, and I just can't
see the Pack twelve happening. It really depends. It does
(34:06):
depend if you're in the like below the Mason Dixon line.
I guess you're in pretty good shape there because they
are not gonna cancel Southern Fried football that is that
is gonna happen. SEC commissioner said it, and now the
SEC as well, Big twelve, big ten like and like,
you know, I know, people say, wow, that's just you know,
those are a bunch of rednecks. Those are a bunch
(34:27):
of hicks and hay seeds and all like, Okay, let's
say that if you want. But there there. They think
that's important. They believe it's going to be done safely,
and they'll do it. But I do feel terrible for
like you think about the trickle down that this is
gonna have. You know, I said, well, it's not that
important because it's only sports. But we're sports people. We
like sports, and I do feel bad. You know. I
remember how excited I was in high school when I
had delusions of grandeur that I was gonna get offers,
(34:48):
you know, because it's a big fat offensive linement. I
was gonna get offers to go play college ball somewhere.
You know all that, And you think about that dream
you have when you're a player and you're you get
to that senior year and you're like on the cusp
of your dreams coming true and you're gonna, you know,
get to the NFL. If you're a high school football
player and you're you're top player, and then like, how
do you recruit? I guess they already have an idea
(35:09):
a lot of these guys, but like decisions on where
to go. It's it's so that the convoluted in it's
it's the water is so muddy and murky right now. Yeah,
it's if college football guys, you know, you said, will
allow them to transfer, but then they're like, well, no,
it's amateurism. But at least the n c A is
starting to get away with that. But yeah, if I
(35:30):
had the option, if you were a player at say
U c. L A, and you were a fringe NFL
guy where meaning that that you're you're on the watch
list for the NFL, but you're not considered a guarantee
to be drafted. It really depends on how you play
your senior year. Then how can you possibly even consider
(35:50):
staying at a school like U c l A. If
your dreams to play in the NFL you would have
to go out in some rustic town somewhere and uh
and and figure out how to play. It's and then
you I saw the story the other day that they
were talking about and like the SEC, because they might
not even know the SEC is gonna play. They might
not be enough schools or maybe the Big tens. Some
schools won't play. So having home and home like Alabama
(36:14):
Auburn would play a home and home situation. It seems
it seems so unlike football in college football, but they're
saying that that actually is on the table just to
get enough games in. Yeah, at least the fortunate thing
if you're thinking about like basketball and baseball players, if
they can't find a home here, I mean we you
brought it up during your shows, they can go to
(36:35):
Korea and play baseball out there, and they could possibly
play basketball in Europe. So there's avenues if they can't
find anything here domestically, is they can go somewhere else
in the the other side of the world. That is true.
I didn't want to get before we get out of
this podcast, not that we're getting out anytime soon. I
did want to tell this story, which is a great
podcast story. Um and it's it's headline, get out of Jail,
(36:58):
Free to get out of Jail read card. Alright, so
I'm gonna tell the stories. It's storytime now, I have
you know we often do that bit. I honor the
the old uh, the old tabloid in Boston, the Naked City.
We we say, you know, the Naked City never sleeps,
that we have more tales from the Naked City here
(37:20):
where the name's Gascon are being omitted or changed to
protect the guilty. Okay, right. So I get this email
in the email bag the other day and and this
I'm do this separate. We'll have another podcast later this
weekend which will be just your questions. And I know
that I'll be riveting, but this is a standalone situation.
So I get this email and I'm like, I mean,
(37:40):
it's a long email, and um, you know, usually I'm
gonna be honest with you. If I get a long email,
I don't read it because I don't have time. I mean,
give me a paragraph, someone up in a couple of sentences,
I'm good. But when you start giving me war in
Peace and the Endless Story, I'm out. I just don't
have time. I don't know, I just don't have the
attention for it. So I get this email and here's
I'm gonna read you most of the email. I left
(38:02):
some stuff out. Uh. And then so the email we'll
call this person. Um, we'll call him Billy Bob. Before
you read it, Can I ask you what time of
the day it was that, you know? I don't I
don't know what time. I think I got it when
I woke up, so I didn't even look at the
time stamp. But but here it is, all right. So
it says my wife and I and my daughter's twelve
(38:24):
and nine went to Costco and the Trader Joe's. I
don't know where this person lives, Billy Bob, but they
went to a Costco and a Trader Joe's. I guess
last sunday I got the email you of this. I
guess last weekend. My nine year old has asthma. Her
doctor said she shouldn't wear a mask, and at Costco,
the people at Costco didn't care. But we got a
(38:46):
bunch of dirty looks. You know. He's guy's got how
cute is a nine year old girl? You can't get
more instant the nine year old girl? And uh, and
so the people are looking weird at her, and this
guy's like, I don't give a fuck, you know whatever.
Trader Joe's is in the same shopping center, he said,
So I guess I give something away. Uh, And so
we go over there. The employees didn't care. But as
(39:07):
we are walking around the story, this roughly sixty year
old something lady comes up to my nine year old daughter.
The guy says, puts her finger in my daughter's face
and says, you're a murderer. Right there. So, the guy says,
his wife and his daughter were walking about ten feet
ahead of me. So I immediately screamed at the woman.
(39:31):
The guy said, back the funk off, bitch, don't fucking
worry about my kid. Yeah, so she goes she could
kill me. The woman said to the guy, and I said,
that's the plan. We are using our kids to kill
people who can't find their own fucking business. Which is
actually a pretty good line, right, not not a d
(39:53):
escalation line. That's not something they would tell you if
you were a crisis counselor. But it probably felt pretty
good to say that, right, that's what you were thinking,
he said, what he was thinking, no filter. Uh. So
the story continues. He says, Now her husband comes over
and hits me with his cart. I turned to him,
I said, don't do that again, bitch, And he does
(40:15):
it again, and I take his hat, ripped it and
threw on threw it on top of the shelves here,
and this is where he gets really off the tracks.
The guy says he dumped the guy's card over. How
about that? All right? So at this particular time, he says,
a couple of employees came over and started holding his
(40:36):
arms back, and nobody was holding the other guy, and
and he the other The older guy then comes at him,
takes his glasses all he he takes his glasses off
and takes a week like swing, like I tried to
punch the guy and he ended up kicking his glasses
out of his hand. And you know, yeah, there's a
lot of detail. I don't know how much of the
(40:56):
detail we need to give out. But anyway, says his
wife was in line, and so he said, I go
out to my truck. He says, I'm sitting there. The
old guy then sees me in my truck. What do
you think the old guy does right there? Out of
the store. Now, the old guy comes over and parks
his car behind this guy because they're like, wait, this
guy knocked my card over and I'm upset. So he
(41:19):
parks behind the guy. So the guy can't leave and
then uh, and then calls the cops. He said, and
the police are on the way. So so this is
where the story affects us guest gun. So this guy,
he's sitting in a car and he's just gotten into
a dispute with a random stranger to defend the honor
of his family. And he says he had the Fifth
(41:42):
Hour podcast on the cops show up. He says, I
tell the officer I'm armed. I told him where my
gun was. So another officer is inside watching the security footage.
The cop stands by this guy and and they're listening
to the Fifth Hour to get there that this is
(42:02):
a communal experience here, and he says. The guy says,
he's sitting in his truck here. The guy's like probably
shipping his pants, is gonna get arrested. And the cops like,
who who's that and they and the guy says, that's
Ben Maller I. So then he says he told this
police officer about the show, like the radio show in
addition to the Fifth Hour podcast. The guy whall the
(42:22):
police officer in uniform, you know, with the gun the
whole thing, pulls out his phone and subscribes on the
spot to the podcast. How cool is this guy? That's
the kind of police officer you want. Uh, And so
they started talking sports, you know, like that's how men
do it, you talk sports and all that stuff. And
(42:43):
then the other officer comes out of the store, and
so he's made friends with the first one. The guy
in the truck says, so the old guy wanted to
press charges a right, so he's like, oh funk, I'm
gonna you know, this is terrible. The cops then went back.
They had watched the video and they noticed that he
hit him with the cart first, you know. So so
(43:03):
either they both went to jail, both got in trouble,
or nobody got in trouble, right, that's the way the
law works. So so the old guy didn't want to
go to jail or get in trouble, so for the fight,
so that was it. You know, he was pissed and
all that stuff, and uh that we had the guy
had ruined all the cart and all that. So in
the meantime, the story continues, guests guts a long story.
(43:25):
So the guy in the truck says, we are still
listening to the podcast, and the cop is like, I
like this, Ben Malley, Yeah, what I was praising me,
singing my praiser very nice, that we're not we don't
kiss athletes, asking all stuff. So so they come in,
they say that the store is pressing charges right that
the and the the police officer, who is listening to
(43:47):
the podcast, handcuffs this guy and said, he whispers to him,
don't worry about this. He tells his wife to meet
the police officer behind the store, and they go back
there behind the store, and the officer said that they
never logged anything, and the manager of the store didn't
(44:09):
ask for a police report, so this never happened. So
so the guy was able to go home because in
part of the podcast that this guy was a fan
of the podcast, so that I don't know who that is.
I assume that this is such detail. I believe this
to be a true story. But we're gonna call this
guy Billy Bob, and I'm very proud of the fact
(44:29):
he's been a Mallard militiaman sinceleven. So we're protecting the
guiltiest identity here in the Naked City. But that is
that is a nice I know, it's not nice if
you're the other side. The sixty year old guy and
all that. But you can't be going around and telling
nine year old kids you're a murderer, all right, what
the funk are we doing? Seriously? I mean, that is ridiculous. Now,
(44:52):
I would not have probably escalated the situation. I would
have thought all of the things Billy Bob said. I
would have thought all of those things. But that is
that is igniter is what that is, right, and you
you I usually try I try to avoid confrontation in
public as much as I can. But this guy, like, yeah,
I'm gonna do it. You know. It's It's a wild story,
(45:14):
is what it is. But I I loved reading that,
so I wanted to share that that's a great story.
I'd probably go batshit crazy though someone came up to
my kid and called them a murderer, I don't care
about what the hell it is. Yeah, I mean, and
then you know, obviously you don't. You don't comment. You
escalated when you explain what this guy did. But but
(45:35):
thank you for the story, Billy Bob and whoever that
police officer is. Listen, you know who you are. I'm
not gonna say your name, but send me an email
if you can't. I'd like to. I don't know, I
don't know. Cool. What can we do for this guy?
I don't know? Get him a lifetime supply of of nothing? Yeah? Life,
Do you want a lifetime suply nothing? Where the show
that gives you nothing? We have no budget here. You
want a round trip to nowhere? You can follow social
(45:57):
distancing guidelines because no one's there. Uh and uh yeah,
and that is void. As soon as nowhere, Oklahoma gets
an airport, that will suddenly that that will that will expire.
How far away is that from from like Oklahoma City
or anywhere else in Oklahoma? It is a rural what's
(46:19):
the term unuhincorporated part of Oklahoma. I have a buddy
from high school when I best friends in high school.
To hang out with this guy and eat peanut butter
and jelly sandwich was this guy every day. He moved
to a very small town in Oklahoma. And I reconnected
with the guy a couple of years ago on Facebook,
and he hates when he moved there. He loves it.
(46:42):
He loved it when he moved there because it's obviously
a lot cheaper than that, but you get you make
less money also, and he would like to leave there
and go back to the big city. But once you
make the less money, you can't save up as much.
You need a lot to move somewhere else. So it's
a it's an awkward, awkward situation. So I think that
would be good. Are we good? That's a that's a
(47:03):
great story. I'm actually happy that you you didn't delete
it as soon as you saw how long it was.
That's a fantastic story. So I did consider de leating it,
and then I was like, well, I started reading it,
and then it captivated me, and I was like, I
gotta keep reading this. And it got better and better
as I kept reading the email, and I was like, Okay,
this is I gotta put this on the air. Yeah.
(47:24):
The only thing would have been better is if he
had if he had actually taken a selfie with the cops. Uh.
That was pretty good. Alright, listen, thank you, and will
be have another podcast on Saturday, another one on Sunday,
and so you can give us five stars if you
(47:45):
like the podcast. If you think we're a bunch of whackerooles,
just don't review the podcast. That will help us out.
And if you want to email us for a future edition.
A question. You can send it to I gave out
the wrong email actress last week. I gave out I
want to say it again. It's the real. It's real
fifth Hour at Gmail no though, it's real fifth Hour
(48:06):
at gmail dot com or on the Facebook page Ben
Mallard Show. We'll have an email back for this weekend.
That question you send today will not be available for
that podcast. But you can also follow us on social media.
I am on cameo if you don't know what cameos
cameos whats that we mentioned it last week where if
you're a big fan of the show, or you know
(48:26):
somebody who's a fan of the show, you can surprise
them and a special personalized video greeting. It's not free,
but it's pretty cool. And Mike Tyson some a lot
of big names are on that that cameo website and
so it's it's pretty neat. But if you're a super
fan of the show, we've done a few of these things.
They're pretty neat. So go to cameo dot com search
my name Ben Maller and I have owned cameo page
(48:48):
and I would love to give you a video for
a birthday wedding if you're just going stir crazy, batshit
crazy because of what's going on, and if that would
cheer you up, we'd love to do it. And also
on Twitter at Ben Mallard, in Instagram Ben Maller on Fox.
How can people reach you? Guesst Gun follow me on
Twitter at David J. Gascon, Instagram at Dave Gascon. Of course,
(49:11):
if you did download this podcast on Apple, iTunes or
any other outlet, you can actually read the description of
the podcast in the summary of it. We got Ben's
info on their minds as well. So all right, listen,
have a great day today, keep downloading the podcast, stay healthy,
and hopefully our politicians will have some common sense before
(49:32):
we know it. Have a good weekend.
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
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break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now that it does in a hello
to you. Whenever you listen to the podcast, the odd
think about podcast as you can listen to the morning,
you can listen to the afternoon, the evening. I think
you figured that out by now. But welcome in as
we are in the air everywhere, the vast power of
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(00:46):
not constrained by the Federal Communications Commission. No no, no no.
We can say fuck on the podcast. Yes we can.
Occasionally we do, but I try not to do that
because here's the problem. All right, I'm trying to limit
my prof and I'm gonna explain during the podcast why
I'm trying to limit my profanity. I had an epiphany
before I was doing this, and so I will explain
(01:07):
coming up. Even though I began by saying fuck, I
will explain why I'm trying to limit my profanity. And uh,
it is the fifth Hour with Ben Mallory and and
because four hours or not enough in the Overnight show,
four hours and not enough. And this is eight days
a week, that's right now. Because of the pandemic, we
started cranking out more podcast than the salt mines here
(01:28):
of my heart. And so we do this podcast for
you Friday, Saturday and Sunday, just like that. Rat tat
tat is how it works. You figure that out. The
subscribe be part of it and uh and all that
and for better or worse, yet again, the people that
run this company have put me with David gascon offetually
(01:53):
known in the followays have you ever come to Fox
Sports Radio, He's known as gat On. It's been a
rather peculiar week for me. Ben. It's oh, yeah, you
want to share your life story here with us? You
want to yeah, you know Uma. Earlier in the week,
I was actually pleasantly surprised by a couple of alarming
(02:16):
compliments by you. Um, and then I took my act
to social media and I was blindsided by your better half,
your your wife took a swipe and a shot at me,
and so weird paradigm that's going on right now. I'm
not really comfortable with all this, but uh, that's where
I mat and where we're at as I just want
to point out for the deep state people, the conspiracy
(02:39):
people that believe that there's some funny business going on,
that Gascon didn't even make it to the two minute
thirty second mark in the podcast without mentioning my wife's name,
so that that will of course feed. That's like jet
fuel for the conspiracy here a gascon. So thank you
for throwing red meat into the lines. Then I do
(02:59):
appreciate ate that. Very helpful, very helpful. To be perfectly transparent.
You were actually on a show that I was on
earlier in the week with Rob Parker and Chris Brossard,
and Rob Parker brought up your wife, So that is true.
That was equally awkward. That was equally awkward as well.
And I my wife loves it because she's getting all
this attention to get big head and all that. You know,
(03:20):
I said, you gotta be you gotta keep level headed.
You know you can't. You know, I don't just because
these guys are big fans you can't. You know, you
gotta be on the even keel. You know, I'm the
man of the people. You gotta be the woman of
the people. You can't be like this elitist, snobbish west
of the four oh five type of additive because I'll
go deranged if that happens. I I don't want to
(03:40):
become unhinged or anything like that. But yeah, you actually
did help me out. You and it was shocked because
you tipped me off to what was my favorite story
of the week. Yeah. I got a text from guest guy.
He's like, hey, do you see this thing with Blake Snell?
As like, you know, I don't watch twitch, and uh,
(04:01):
sure enough, he sent me. He sent me the story
and I looked there. I had did some research on it,
added some stuff to it, and we put a monologue together.
That was my favorite monologue of the week because I
love talking about the senseless whack job, you know, I
just love it, the the nonsense and and just Blake
Snell is everything to hate about professional athletes. And I
(04:22):
love sports, and I have friends that are ex athletes
and I get along with them, but that is like
the the ultimate asshole donkey. Uh, Mama, Luke, you can
possibly have. And so I wish nothing but bad things
to Blake Snell because he's just an idiot. Everyone's taking
pay cuts, got you guys still gonna make over a
million dollars and he's sitting there bitching and complaining. It's
(04:44):
just out all control, is what it is. So I
did that's a that's a good job by you. You know,
it's you know, Coop sends me like seven or eight
stories a day, and I based my monologues around those,
unless he doesn't. So I wanted to give you the
proper credit on the I was a little hesitant because
it's stun because you actually you had You are the
(05:05):
probably only person I know on planet Earth that actually
had the audacity to open up a show with a
Blake Snell monologue and you did that. Correct me if
I'm wrong. I think you did this two years ago
just before the All Star break. Yeah, I did, I remember,
because you were very upset with me and you complained.
Is that I can't believe it. You're you know, you
(05:28):
should be reprimanded by management. What are you doing a
Blake Snell? You know, he's just like complaining none stop,
and uh yeah. At one point I think the we
were talking about um Blake Snell or I think it
was baseball. It was I did one last year was
like Blake Snell or Chris Sale, like who's gonna who?
(05:50):
Who had the more concerning perform or something, and I
ranted more about Blake Snell and I was like, you know,
at that time, I was like, hey, I would like
to Dodgers to get this guy, you because he had
a bad start. But I think these guys been a
pretty good picture and he's a pretty good picture. It's
just a dick, um, you know. That's it. Uh and
uh And now I don't want the Dodgers to get
him at all. I want nothing to do with Blakes now. Um.
(06:13):
But yeah, I mean those are the kind of stories
that are just they don't happen that often. And fortunately
this is a pandemic that we had time to fully
invest in it. And uh and I saved it. I
saved it for the last hour. You know. We went
on that big new affiliate in Dallas, which I'm very
excited about. I told the story on the air, but
we're on the ticket now, the major station in Dallas,
(06:35):
and I tried to get a job at the Ticket
when I was in my younger days, when I was
first starting out, I was actually working for Hacks on
San Diego, and I had sent the tape out, you know,
that's how you did it, a cassette tape and a
resume or what. I don't resume because I hadn't done anything.
And so I sent it out to all these radio
stations and they rejected me. And I had they were
(06:55):
in the box somewhere, and I gotta go down my
dad's house. I kept a shoe box filled with rejection
letters from from like w e I kJ R in Seattle,
k n b R in San Francisco, the Ticket in Dallas,
the Score in Chicago, and all these big sports stations
that would not even dare hire me. And uh w
(07:18):
f A N was on that list, w I P
in Philadelphia and all I just like I assumed, I
just walked into like a top fifteen market, you know,
with no problem, and didn't happen. But it's great. The
Tickets a wonderful brand, if you will, in sports talk,
very loyal following, and so it's exciting to be on
a big new radio station and U and the timing
(07:41):
is perfect. And I say that because of this you
hear this a lot, especially since you know you do
vo stuff. Is that at times people can oddly enough,
people can hear you smile. And I think for the
first time in quite a while, under this quarantine, I
actually heard you smile via Sweet. And it was earlier
(08:02):
in the week with the Deshaun Watson fiasco, and it
was like you were like a pig and slop. You
were so giddy about this Deshaun Watson fiasco. I just like,
this is this is butter on the bread baby. Yeah.
Well yes, and me and DeShawn have sparred in the
past and uh and all that, and I know he's worshiped.
(08:25):
But I always get a kick out of these guys
that are insufferable big stars that just are thin skinned
and can't deal with people you know, on social media
or people in the media and all this. But Deshaun Watson,
he lied, He got caught lying, and then he tried
to get his way out of it. He had the
(08:45):
people around him, his confidence. He was like, well, no,
everyone loves before the draft, Okay, I guarantee you if
Deshaun Watson this involved Gottlieb because Gottlieb. It was reacting
to a common Gottlieb made on Fox. But um, but
my point is this, like if if he hey, he
he had realized and and remembered Deshaun Watson that he
(09:07):
had and he was he was talking about black quarterbacks,
he implied the Chicago Bears or like the KKK essentially,
and that's what the story was. And then you know,
the woke Twitter all got a you know, their panties
in a bunch and they were all upset and so uh.
They had the marching morons who were like running around
just unloading on the Chicago Bears. We're not having black
(09:27):
quarterbacks and they didn't want to even talk to Deshaun Watson. Well,
then there's audio of Deshaun Watson talking about it on
the Dan Patrick Show. And then they go back and
look at some of the reports and they were like,
wait a minute, the Bears, GM and coach were at
Clemson's pro day to watch Deshaun Watson work out. Wait
a minute here, uh, And they were like one of
only four teams to send both their coach and GM,
(09:47):
which would lead one to believe that they were there
to see Deshaun Watson and to consider contemplate drafting Deshaun Watson.
So his story completely unraveled as it turns out. And uh,
and so you know, he was caught red handed and
I took full advantage, full advantage of unloading on the ragamuffin.
(10:08):
And uh and I did. And did you have any
media personalized come at you, like any reporters, anchors or
writers at all? Because you go through Gottlieb's timeline and
you had people from ESPN, people from CBS, and they
looked like a lot of former colleagues and they just
obviously want to get their body shots and and you're like,
(10:28):
wait a minute. Be sure to catch live editions of
The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern
eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I
Heart Radio app. You're talking about before the other part
came out right when the initial you talking about the
initial thing before? Sean, Yeah, I mean because listen ESPN
and particular I got friends that were there, Jack sniffers.
(10:50):
You know, that's the test, you know, Yeah, that's how
you do it. You have sniff all the athletes ship
and just love it. And uh, you know a lot
of these people, so I listen. My my position, uh
is yeah, I did see some of it. And as
far as me being attacked by by media people, I
have been assaulted by like a lot of like local
(11:11):
small time you know, your town small time, the media
small time when they're like, uh, ambassadors to the team.
You know, it's like I I've gotten into it with
sports writers in Cleveland and Phoenix for good reason, a
couple of other locations and uh yeah, I mean listen,
it's all the just slabber slabber slabber lick lick lick.
(11:34):
They want to give these athletes a manny and a
petty and it's it's disturbing, but it goes on all
the time, and you know, it's like whatever, it's it's
it's it's ridiculous, is what it is. But it is
the way it is. And you know, I choose not
to do that kind of radio where you just give
guys bubble baths. I know you do that something you
(11:58):
like to give a little neck massage to the guys.
Want to be fair though, you know this like when
you work for a local or regional affiliate or a team,
a lot of your advertising dollars are pushed towards that product,
and so you can't be lightning a fire to your
own feet for the sake of just having a hot
take out there, or you know, for all intents of
(12:18):
purposes a legit sincere take. Well, that's true, but you
also don't need to give them a Swedish massage. You know,
there's a balance there, And it seems like a lot
of these guys are just you know, they love the nuts,
you know what I'm saying. But it's slurp slip slip slip, slip,
slip slip slip, slurp slip. But it's odd, right because
(12:39):
you wake up every day around two or three o'clock
in the afternoon and your your Twitter account is just
guys giving you a tongue bath. It's not It's not. No,
that's not true at all. I think so like guys
are I know, the attack dogs are out the attack poodles.
I got attacked by the attack poodles this week. Why
I tweeted out a story from there was a Yahoo's
(13:03):
story which actually they picked up from some other news
site because Yahoo just aggregates a lot most of their stuff.
So but it was about the state of Florida and
Georgia reopening, and how the coronavirus cases had gone down
even though they reopened. And so this was a tremendously
exciting piece of information because, as I pointed out, when
(13:26):
the announcement came down first for Georgia back in late April,
and you know, it's only a couple of weeks back,
and they had said, hey, we're going to reopen, and uh,
I watched the news, and I went on the internet
and went to the websites, the mainstream news media, and
they had experts on that said, this is going to
be terrible. Uh, this is going to be horrific that
people are gonna, you know, die, and the the tremendously
(13:48):
in the coronavirus raid is gonna go through the roof
and blood on the hands of the politicians in Georgia,
blood on the hands of the politicians in Florida. Now
keep in mind, at they opened up Georgia, there were
still a bunch of restrictions in place. It's not like
they completely opened it up and said all right, everyone
run a muck and everything's the way it was. There
(14:10):
were restrictions on how many people can go into the businesses,
and things like that. Um, and yet the mainstream media
is like just oh yeah, this is gonna be doom
and glowm and all this stuff. So I treated out
the story. It said, Hey, this and this is this
is great news. The uh, the numbers are going down,
and I think we should all celebrate this this. You know,
we're all in this together and this is wonderful. So
(14:31):
what do you think happened? Guests on to the attack poodles?
What do you think the attack Poodles did to me?
I think they were probably calling you insensitive, uh your
far right wing? Oh yeah, yeah. They were comparing me
to Alex Jones that very similar, tweeting out a story
from Yahoo and uh, you know, going full Alex Jones.
(14:51):
By the way, I'm not an Alex Jones guy, but
I don't think you should be banned the way he's
been banned. I think it's ridiculous that because you people
don't like what he says, he's not allowed to say it.
To me, that's very Unamerican, Like I think I I
My problem is I give people the benefit of the doubt.
Like a lot of people don't like what I say
(15:11):
and just don't listen. You know don't. But but by powering,
whether it's Alex Jones or anybody in the media, by powering,
by empowering them, and by admitting, oh, I'm so offended
by what you're saying, you're actually giving them more power.
And these idiots don't realize. It's like there are people
that say stuff all the time like that's bullshit this
(15:32):
you know that this guy's an idiot or whatever, and
I don't pay attention to him. But it's like people
lost that skill somewhere along the way, you know, And
I don't know why, and but you know, somewhere along
the way, and it's like stick. When I was a kid,
I learned sticks and stones may break your bones, but
names will never harm you. Somewhere we lost that. Well.
I think social media allowed people to lose it on
(15:54):
their own accord, because you're so quick to respond that
how often. I'm a little bit different in this regard that.
You know, even if something I don't agree with or
I think it's just straight bs, like you said, I
like to at least listen to it. I mean, I
listened to all kinds of things, guilty information overload, but
I like to at least listen to people, like their perspective,
(16:16):
their context, how they're actually viewing these things. I like
to do that, and for me, especially in this situation,
we got friends all across the country. So different states
have different governors, they have different doctors that are working
in different hospitals, and so you gotta get the lay
of the land. You know. Here in Los Angeles, I
get friends at work at us A Medical Center in
Westwood and Santa Monica down in Torrance, and they're telling
(16:39):
me things they are drastically different than friends that are
in Orange County at different hospitals out there. So yeahs you.
I've told the story for I was growing up. My
my dad conservative, my mom miss you rest in peace,
a liberal, and I as a little kid when I
was eating my salmon patties with my mac and cheese
as a little Betty, and that's the last time I
eat fish was salmon pat as my mom would make
(17:00):
and with the onions on top, and uh, and I
like the onions because they were burned up. And my
mom and dad would debate about the political news of
the day, and I'd get my mom's side to get
my dad's side, and I just listen to everything that. Yeah,
I mean I watched all this stuff and you know
a lot. That's another skill, like just being able to
consume all sides without oh my god, my my new michigas.
(17:23):
And this is really a problem once you Once you
go down this rabbit hole, what I'm about to tell you,
there's no going back. Um, so be careful. I'm putting
a disclaimer on this. But when I'm watching the news,
I say that near quotes, I look for the weasel words,
and then I just I'm incited. Uh you know what
(17:44):
I mean, Like I'm like, oh, I got ways of
ways wide, you know, and I there's there's so overwhelming,
They're so overwhelming here, Uh could may might maybe po possibly,
you know, all of these things, all of these things
(18:04):
are just that's how the news is done without weasel words.
You cannot have the news. I'm convinced you cannot have
the news without projections. That's essentially what you're doing. All
the world shut down because of projections, not because of facts,
because of projections, which is amazing to me. And and
(18:26):
it's like, okay, let's take the position. That's good, that's
the right thing to you. And I don't totally disagree
with that that that is the proper thing. If people
tell you a bunch of people are gonna die, you
have to do this or other people gonna die. That's
completely reasonable for politicians to do it. But then when
the data comes back and tells you the opposite, that
it's not nearly as bad as the initial reports out
of Wuhan, China, then you have to say, Okay, who
(18:50):
needs to be quarantined here? Clearly, if you're someone of
a certain age and you have pre existing conditions and
you've got these problems, I feel you've got to continue
the quarantine. But if you look at the numbers for
people that are younger and people that are you know,
at a certain age, without the pre existing conditions and
all that stuff, you have a better chance of crossing
(19:13):
the streets several times getting hit by a bus than
dying of the coronavirus. But yet you tell people that
and you're oh my god, you're You're just such an asshole.
I can't listen to you anymore. I was like, oh
my god, does it Does it make you nervous? When
you're always on a tight rope, uh, hanging from the
third rail? You have I think like in some way
(19:34):
as that we we've pushed you towards that. But well, no, no,
I was, I was. I don't. I'm not like people
are starting to think like I'm this political guy. I'm not.
I'm really not. I I just am very I'm very
concerned that my life's work is gonna go away here
because of this, uh, this pandemic. To be honest with you,
I mean, I think that's a big part of it.
And if I thought that everyone was gonna die, I
(19:56):
would be like, Okay, you know what, well, well this
is the right thing to do. But this is the
wrong thing to do. And I because I worked a
long time in radio, I think the show is going
pretty well. But I'm telling you, if the global recession
kicks in and the country stays mostly shut down, I'll
eventually lose my job. It's going to happen, um, and
so I'd like to avoid that. I like my job.
(20:16):
I feel like I've gotten a pretty good place at it.
I have friends of mine that have already lost their jobs. Uh.
And I just think it's unnecessary. If if I felt
it was necessary, that would be different. I don't think
it's necessary. I think it's irrational. I think what's happening
now because of the science that's out there which is encouraging,
and to have reckless disregard to that science that you know,
(20:38):
to what is the new truth, is just very upsetting. Yeah,
but you know, you you mentioned it with your life's work.
It's not just you, like people that are listening and
have listened. I mean you think about it as a
micro or a macro. People that are our age or
a little bit older, a little bit younger, that have
been fortunate with income and resources, they're also losing their
(21:02):
life's work and it's gonna take a long time to recover,
like you mentioned. So yeah, yeah, I mean it depends
how older. I guess if you're you're you know, of
a certain age, it's not a matter to If you're
in your twenties, would be fine, but if you're a
little older, Um, you know, the clock is a ticking.
You know, there's only a limited shelf life we all
have here, and the damage by the time it's repaired,
you'll someone else will be reaping the benefits of the
(21:24):
damage that it's taking place right now. And it's like
that doc I tweeted out a link to the doctor
from Stanford, which is a very conservative school. As you know,
guess got a lot of great conservatives have come out
of Stanford. Be sure to catch live editions of the
Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern Pacific. Yeah,
and so this doctor from Stanfords like given this whole
(21:47):
He's given all these numbers about how you know, every
month in America there's a hundred and fifty thousand people
that get diagnosed with cancer, and the death rate from cancer,
depending on what kind of cancer, is much earth than
the numbers from the coronavirus. But yet these people, many
of them are not being screened for cancer, so they're
walking around. We've got a bunch of people wandering around
(22:08):
that have cancer but haven't been told they have it,
to treat it, to try to get on top of it,
because many the good news is a lot of cancers.
If you find it early enough, you can you can
CounterPunch it and you've got your odds are pretty good.
But if you don't, you know, that's a death sentence.
And so it's just frustrating. You see that. You think
about the poverty side of it, um and it's it's
(22:30):
just so upsetting when you look at all that and
it's like, you know, this guy's a Stanford doctor, but
you know, we totally people just dismiss him and whatever
Dr Fauci says is the end all be all, and
it's just it's just very upsetting because and the other
thing too, with the back to the Georgia Florida thing
(22:51):
that I tweeted out the story to that link, which
I thought was great, like this is wonderful. Um, the
wait two weeks crowd got very upset with me. You
know what, the wait two weeks a crowd is guest gone. Yeah,
they're the ones that are pretty much telling you to
wait an additional two weeks add for the first flattening
of the curve. Yeah, it was you know, kick the
(23:14):
I call it to kick the can down the road
crowd because the then they're also must be honest here.
I mean, they are cheering for you to die if
you live in Georgia and Florida. These are the people
that would like to see you in the ground. They
weren't you dead, and they will celebrate. They will celebrate
a win in that case, which it seems very odd
(23:36):
to me that you would cheer for that. Um, but
it certainly appears that that argument. And see the funny
things they say, wait two weeks and then people will say, well,
Florida has only been open for like nine ten days.
See it got you, got you Gotti. And then I
pointed out Gasca, Well George has been open for twenty days.
She said two weeks. It's been twenty days, which I believe,
and I'm using mallory math. That's over. That's over two weeks, right,
(23:58):
twenty days. You have almost three weeks. Now it's now
it is, as we're doing this in real time, it's
been twenty twenty one days. So um, and we just
keep moving the goalposts as they say. Right, it's like,
well it didn't happen, but it's gonna happen. I'm gonna
tell you right now. Alright, hundred years from now, someone
will write a story that everyone living right now died
from the coronavirus because we're all gonna be dead a
(24:19):
hundred years from now. So you know, there you go.
It's uh, it's unfortunate. But you know, we highlighted this
a couple of weeks ago, that this is gonna be
a red versus blue thing, and it's gonna be a
right versus wrong. And you get people on social media,
doesn't matter where they're at, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and all
of a sudden, they're practicing doctors and practicing attorneys, and
(24:40):
you know, they know about federal law and case law,
and they know about being an epidemiologist or a virologist
or whatever it may be. And everyone's got their own opinion,
which is great. But you know, I remember, just back
of the day, the only person I ever saw really
on news that could bat less than five hundred and
still keep their job was a weather girl or weather guy.
(25:03):
And now you carry that over to where we're at
now with the models, and there have been people that
have been way off the mark, some that have blown
the estimates far far away from where they are now,
and some that have underestimated it. And like, where's the
accountability for any of that, because you know, everyone's trying
to point the finger at somebody else when you know
(25:25):
we have the capability, like we do depending on what
states you are, to look at your mayor, look at
your surrounding mayors, and then look at the governor as
opposed to, well, we need federal this, we need federal
of that, which obviously is good for a crutch. At
the same time, like you should work from the inside
out because every state is different, and we've fallen victim
unfortunately as a nation, to looking at what happened in
(25:48):
New York and taking that as a general for what
is happening in you know, Montana or South Dakota, or
Florida or California or Arizona. It's a massive state. Anyone's
ever flown from the East coast to the west coast
is like, unbelievably how large the United States is. It's
amazing and it's awesome. It's what it is, wonderful, I
(26:09):
agree with you. And it's so different geographically when you know,
you go to Iowa as opposed to New York City
or Boston, or you know, you go to the out
in the you know, Idaho, or even like a big
state like Texas where there's parts of it that are
very rural and out in the middle of nowhere, out
in West Texas, and then you've got these big metropolis
(26:30):
is in Dallas and Houston and San Antonio places like that,
and it's like, I think there's one answer to everything.
These people are convinced that there's one answer, and it's
just getting not see here. This was the question I
wanted to ask, and I'm glad you brought it up.
If if we were to like take a pragmatic approach
to this, let's say you went from Benny brightside Um
to Governor Benny, how would you approach this from a
(26:54):
professional standpoint, because like here in California, Gavin Newsum doesn't
want to have fans in the stand which is understandable,
but he also doesn't expect sports to be back anytime soon.
Where you have Governor Ronda Santis in Florida, Governor Doocey
in Arizona, they want to bring sports in. But there's
been speculation and a lot of people have been talking
about once the fall to winter comes those seasons that
(27:16):
we're gonna see a second wave of the coronavirus. So
if that's the case, like you know obviously what the
NFL season, It runs from September to January, and they
get the Super Bowl early in February. That's during this season,
the fall in the winter season. Same thing with college
basketball in the NBA and the NHL seasons. So what
do you do because we're not going to get a
(27:37):
vaccine anytime soon. How do you actually manage this and
at the same time allow these guys and the women
and the men that are in the front office is
to still take a reasonable pay cut and make a
salary for themselves in their family. All right, So the
first thing I do is I I base my reaction
on the actual numbers. So the numbers are encouraging, and
(28:00):
so I would base it on that. And and essentially
what you do is what they've often done. We've talked
about this in the past. If I'm the governor of California,
here's what I say. I say, listen, uh, if you
are over the age of sixty five, then you have
to take extra precautions. If you have a pre existing condition,
then I'll list them. You know, if you have diabetes,
(28:21):
if you have you know, some kind of heart issue
or something long issue, whatever it might be. I'll go
through the list and I'll say, all right, if you're
on this list, if you have a pre existing condition,
then you also have to take different actions than the rest. Now,
you should still be cautious, right, I'm not saying you
go out there and you're totally just a wild banshee
(28:44):
running running a muck and all that. But you you
will open up stories, you put limits on it and whatnot,
and kind of slowly work it back up. But you
don't do what California is doing when they're talking about
three more months of of this nonsense. I saw that
Joe Rogan's talking about leaving California now after some of
(29:05):
the other people have said that, And we'll see if
any of them actually do. But yeah, that that would
be the first thing I would do. I said, listen,
here's the deal. We're gonna do what they've done in
the past in America and globally, and we will protect
the people that are most at risk. But we are
not going to shut down the economy. The economy will
go on. People need to work, people have to make
(29:26):
money to pay their bills. We're not gonna make everyone
dependent on the government getting an unemployment check. We're not
gonna make it like that. And then you move forward,
and then if if the science changes and it turns
out that there's some new information, you adjust at that
particular point. But you don't shut down society based on,
(29:46):
as you said, a weather report. And I actually wanted
to bring that up because it reminds me of a
book I read years ago about infommercials. How does this
relate to infommercial So I read a book and they
were talking about the early days before television, you know,
and people would go around the original Uh, the original
(30:09):
infomercial was the state fair where pitchman or the boardwalk
where pitchmen would go out, and uh, they were like
snake oil sales And I remember reading about the Kickapoo
Indian Medical Company. You ever heard about the Kickapoo Indian
Medical Company. They toward the country, They went to boardwalk,
(30:31):
street fairs, county. You know. Country fairs were the sticks.
They're all over the place. And these Kickapoo Indian Medical
Company people promised all these local yokels at the boardwalk,
the street fair, the county fair, that they would cure
whatever was wrong with them. All right, you're sick, we
gotta cure for that. Yeah, it hasn't rained. We gotta
(30:54):
cure for that. They would go up on stage and
they would strangle rattlesnakes on stage to use as an elixir, right,
and they then sold it to the crowd. That's actually
where the term snake oil salesman comes from. Is the
Kickapoo Indian Medical Company. But the reason I bring this
up is because once people bought the stuff and it
(31:14):
didn't work, they were already gone. They were onto the
next town and people were left holding the snake oil.
And uh, it's it's almost the same situation here with
the science. And you come out and say, oh my god,
the dudes, that clock's been moved up. You know, everyone's
gonna die. We're all gonna die. And then doesn't happen,
and nobody goes back and says, hey, dummy, why did
(31:36):
you do that? You you were completely wrong. And then
the other thing that annoys me is when when people
do go back, they said, well, you know he was right.
He was that was the right thing to say. And
I'm like, come on, you know you got a side
on caution. I mean, come up, glad, that is the idea, right.
I'm glad I got to I've not used the Kickapoo
Indian Medical Company ever, so I'm glad I finally got that.
(31:58):
I was in the back of my head. I'm that
I head. Then that's good right out. So I mean,
but that's the idea, right, I Mean, we have people
that are in different specialties, so if you are a doctor,
you're you're natural. You're more inclined to err on the
set of caution as opposed to being aggressive or the
hipocritic oath. Right, you have to protect and right in
the hippocratic oath, and all I have to look out
(32:19):
for people and their best interest in all that. Yeah,
I mean, And so I this stems back to you know,
I had a great conversation with a friend a few
days ago about this particular topic. Because professional athletes are
one thing, whether it's Major League Baseball, the NFL, NBA,
h L, whatever it may be. But if you're talking
about college athletics, then what do you do Because you
(32:40):
have the twenty three you see schools here in California
that are being closed off of the fall, and then
you have the state schools, which are obviously an additional
elements to school. But if these guys can't play, or
if there's a thought that fall is gonna be no
football but spring will be, you still need time to
get these guys in a camp. You need time to
(33:00):
get them into shape, and that doesn't include what's going
on right now and into the summertime. So if you
think you can get them into shape by spring, I
think you get another thing coming, especially if you think
there's a second wave coming. And then on top of that,
you know this what happens with all the prep athletes
that are seniors, Because we've seen plenty of dudes, whether
(33:20):
it's football or baseball that are dudes as soon as
they get into the Division one program and they play
right away. So what do you do for them to
get them acquimant to the D one level? Like do
you do you allow these kids to transfer out of state?
And do you allow the the colleges to bring in
other talent from other universities that can't play? Like, how
do you amend that Fox Sports Radio has the best
(33:43):
sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our
shows at Fox Sports Radio dot com and within the
I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live. Yeah,
here's the thing. I saw something about this that is
loosely related with the college world, and I just can't
see the Pack twelve happening. It really depends. It does
(34:06):
depend if you're in the like below the Mason Dixon line.
I guess you're in pretty good shape there because they
are not gonna cancel Southern Fried football that is that
is gonna happen. SEC commissioner said it, and now the
SEC as well, Big twelve, big ten like and like,
you know, I know, people say, wow, that's just you know,
those are a bunch of rednecks. Those are a bunch
(34:27):
of hicks and hay seeds and all like, Okay, let's
say that if you want. But there there. They think
that's important. They believe it's going to be done safely,
and they'll do it. But I do feel terrible for
like you think about the trickle down that this is
gonna have. You know, I said, well, it's not that
important because it's only sports. But we're sports people. We
like sports, and I do feel bad. You know. I
remember how excited I was in high school when I
had delusions of grandeur that I was gonna get offers,
(34:48):
you know, because it's a big fat offensive linement. I
was gonna get offers to go play college ball somewhere.
You know all that, And you think about that dream
you have when you're a player and you're you get
to that senior year and you're like on the cusp
of your dreams coming true and you're gonna, you know,
get to the NFL. If you're a high school football
player and you're you're top player, and then like, how
do you recruit? I guess they already have an idea
(35:09):
a lot of these guys, but like decisions on where
to go. It's it's so that the convoluted in it's
it's the water is so muddy and murky right now. Yeah,
it's if college football guys, you know, you said, will
allow them to transfer, but then they're like, well, no,
it's amateurism. But at least the n c A is
starting to get away with that. But yeah, if I
(35:30):
had the option, if you were a player at say
U c. L A, and you were a fringe NFL
guy where meaning that that you're you're on the watch
list for the NFL, but you're not considered a guarantee
to be drafted. It really depends on how you play
your senior year. Then how can you possibly even consider
(35:50):
staying at a school like U c l A. If
your dreams to play in the NFL you would have
to go out in some rustic town somewhere and uh
and and figure out how to play. It's and then
you I saw the story the other day that they
were talking about and like the SEC, because they might
not even know the SEC is gonna play. They might
not be enough schools or maybe the Big tens. Some
schools won't play. So having home and home like Alabama
(36:14):
Auburn would play a home and home situation. It seems
it seems so unlike football in college football, but they're
saying that that actually is on the table just to
get enough games in. Yeah, at least the fortunate thing
if you're thinking about like basketball and baseball players, if
they can't find a home here, I mean we you
brought it up during your shows, they can go to
(36:35):
Korea and play baseball out there, and they could possibly
play basketball in Europe. So there's avenues if they can't
find anything here domestically, is they can go somewhere else
in the the other side of the world. That is true.
I didn't want to get before we get out of
this podcast, not that we're getting out anytime soon. I
did want to tell this story, which is a great
podcast story. Um and it's it's headline, get out of Jail,
(36:58):
Free to get out of Jail read card. Alright, so
I'm gonna tell the stories. It's storytime now, I have
you know we often do that bit. I honor the
the old uh, the old tabloid in Boston, the Naked City.
We we say, you know, the Naked City never sleeps,
that we have more tales from the Naked City here
(37:20):
where the name's Gascon are being omitted or changed to
protect the guilty. Okay, right. So I get this email
in the email bag the other day and and this
I'm do this separate. We'll have another podcast later this
weekend which will be just your questions. And I know
that I'll be riveting, but this is a standalone situation.
So I get this email and I'm like, I mean,
(37:40):
it's a long email, and um, you know, usually I'm
gonna be honest with you. If I get a long email,
I don't read it because I don't have time. I mean,
give me a paragraph, someone up in a couple of sentences,
I'm good. But when you start giving me war in
Peace and the Endless Story, I'm out. I just don't
have time. I don't know, I just don't have the
attention for it. So I get this email and here's
I'm gonna read you most of the email. I left
(38:02):
some stuff out. Uh. And then so the email we'll
call this person. Um, we'll call him Billy Bob. Before
you read it, Can I ask you what time of
the day it was that, you know? I don't I
don't know what time. I think I got it when
I woke up, so I didn't even look at the
time stamp. But but here it is, all right. So
it says my wife and I and my daughter's twelve
(38:24):
and nine went to Costco and the Trader Joe's. I
don't know where this person lives, Billy Bob, but they
went to a Costco and a Trader Joe's. I guess
last sunday I got the email you of this. I
guess last weekend. My nine year old has asthma. Her
doctor said she shouldn't wear a mask, and at Costco,
the people at Costco didn't care. But we got a
(38:46):
bunch of dirty looks. You know. He's guy's got how
cute is a nine year old girl? You can't get
more instant the nine year old girl? And uh, and
so the people are looking weird at her, and this
guy's like, I don't give a fuck, you know whatever.
Trader Joe's is in the same shopping center, he said,
So I guess I give something away. Uh, And so
we go over there. The employees didn't care. But as
(39:07):
we are walking around the story, this roughly sixty year
old something lady comes up to my nine year old daughter.
The guy says, puts her finger in my daughter's face
and says, you're a murderer. Right there. So, the guy says,
his wife and his daughter were walking about ten feet
ahead of me. So I immediately screamed at the woman.
(39:31):
The guy said, back the funk off, bitch, don't fucking
worry about my kid. Yeah, so she goes she could
kill me. The woman said to the guy, and I said,
that's the plan. We are using our kids to kill
people who can't find their own fucking business. Which is
actually a pretty good line, right, not not a d
(39:53):
escalation line. That's not something they would tell you if
you were a crisis counselor. But it probably felt pretty
good to say that, right, that's what you were thinking,
he said, what he was thinking, no filter. Uh. So
the story continues. He says, Now her husband comes over
and hits me with his cart. I turned to him,
I said, don't do that again, bitch, And he does
(40:15):
it again, and I take his hat, ripped it and
threw on threw it on top of the shelves here,
and this is where he gets really off the tracks.
The guy says he dumped the guy's card over. How
about that? All right? So at this particular time, he says,
a couple of employees came over and started holding his
(40:36):
arms back, and nobody was holding the other guy, and
and he the other The older guy then comes at him,
takes his glasses all he he takes his glasses off
and takes a week like swing, like I tried to
punch the guy and he ended up kicking his glasses
out of his hand. And you know, yeah, there's a
lot of detail. I don't know how much of the
(40:56):
detail we need to give out. But anyway, says his
wife was in line, and so he said, I go
out to my truck. He says, I'm sitting there. The
old guy then sees me in my truck. What do
you think the old guy does right there? Out of
the store. Now, the old guy comes over and parks
his car behind this guy because they're like, wait, this
guy knocked my card over and I'm upset. So he
(41:19):
parks behind the guy. So the guy can't leave and
then uh, and then calls the cops. He said, and
the police are on the way. So so this is
where the story affects us guest gun. So this guy,
he's sitting in a car and he's just gotten into
a dispute with a random stranger to defend the honor
of his family. And he says he had the Fifth
(41:42):
Hour podcast on the cops show up. He says, I
tell the officer I'm armed. I told him where my
gun was. So another officer is inside watching the security footage.
The cop stands by this guy and and they're listening
to the Fifth Hour to get there that this is
(42:02):
a communal experience here, and he says. The guy says,
he's sitting in his truck here. The guy's like probably
shipping his pants, is gonna get arrested. And the cops like,
who who's that and they and the guy says, that's
Ben Maller I. So then he says he told this
police officer about the show, like the radio show in
addition to the Fifth Hour podcast. The guy whall the
(42:22):
police officer in uniform, you know, with the gun the
whole thing, pulls out his phone and subscribes on the
spot to the podcast. How cool is this guy? That's
the kind of police officer you want. Uh, And so
they started talking sports, you know, like that's how men
do it, you talk sports and all that stuff. And
(42:43):
then the other officer comes out of the store, and
so he's made friends with the first one. The guy
in the truck says, so the old guy wanted to
press charges a right, so he's like, oh funk, I'm
gonna you know, this is terrible. The cops then went back.
They had watched the video and they noticed that he
hit him with the cart first, you know. So so
(43:03):
either they both went to jail, both got in trouble,
or nobody got in trouble, right, that's the way the
law works. So so the old guy didn't want to
go to jail or get in trouble, so for the fight,
so that was it. You know, he was pissed and
all that stuff, and uh that we had the guy
had ruined all the cart and all that. So in
the meantime, the story continues, guests guts a long story.
(43:25):
So the guy in the truck says, we are still
listening to the podcast, and the cop is like, I
like this, Ben Malley, Yeah, what I was praising me,
singing my praiser very nice, that we're not we don't
kiss athletes, asking all stuff. So so they come in,
they say that the store is pressing charges right that
the and the the police officer, who is listening to
(43:47):
the podcast, handcuffs this guy and said, he whispers to him,
don't worry about this. He tells his wife to meet
the police officer behind the store, and they go back
there behind the store, and the officer said that they
never logged anything, and the manager of the store didn't
(44:09):
ask for a police report, so this never happened. So
so the guy was able to go home because in
part of the podcast that this guy was a fan
of the podcast, so that I don't know who that is.
I assume that this is such detail. I believe this
to be a true story. But we're gonna call this
guy Billy Bob, and I'm very proud of the fact
(44:29):
he's been a Mallard militiaman sinceleven. So we're protecting the
guiltiest identity here in the Naked City. But that is
that is a nice I know, it's not nice if
you're the other side. The sixty year old guy and
all that. But you can't be going around and telling
nine year old kids you're a murderer, all right, what
the funk are we doing? Seriously? I mean, that is ridiculous. Now,
(44:52):
I would not have probably escalated the situation. I would
have thought all of the things Billy Bob said. I
would have thought all of those things. But that is
that is igniter is what that is, right, and you
you I usually try I try to avoid confrontation in
public as much as I can. But this guy, like, yeah,
I'm gonna do it. You know. It's It's a wild story,
(45:14):
is what it is. But I I loved reading that,
so I wanted to share that that's a great story.
I'd probably go batshit crazy though someone came up to
my kid and called them a murderer, I don't care
about what the hell it is. Yeah, I mean, and
then you know, obviously you don't. You don't comment. You
escalated when you explain what this guy did. But but
(45:35):
thank you for the story, Billy Bob and whoever that
police officer is. Listen, you know who you are. I'm
not gonna say your name, but send me an email
if you can't. I'd like to. I don't know, I
don't know. Cool. What can we do for this guy?
I don't know? Get him a lifetime supply of of nothing? Yeah? Life,
Do you want a lifetime suply nothing? Where the show
that gives you nothing? We have no budget here. You
want a round trip to nowhere? You can follow social
(45:57):
distancing guidelines because no one's there. Uh and uh yeah,
and that is void. As soon as nowhere, Oklahoma gets
an airport, that will suddenly that that will that will expire.
How far away is that from from like Oklahoma City
or anywhere else in Oklahoma? It is a rural what's
(46:19):
the term unuhincorporated part of Oklahoma. I have a buddy
from high school when I best friends in high school.
To hang out with this guy and eat peanut butter
and jelly sandwich was this guy every day. He moved
to a very small town in Oklahoma. And I reconnected
with the guy a couple of years ago on Facebook,
and he hates when he moved there. He loves it.
(46:42):
He loved it when he moved there because it's obviously
a lot cheaper than that, but you get you make
less money also, and he would like to leave there
and go back to the big city. But once you
make the less money, you can't save up as much.
You need a lot to move somewhere else. So it's
a it's an awkward, awkward situation. So I think that
would be good. Are we good? That's a that's a
(47:03):
great story. I'm actually happy that you you didn't delete
it as soon as you saw how long it was.
That's a fantastic story. So I did consider de leating it,
and then I was like, well, I started reading it,
and then it captivated me, and I was like, I
gotta keep reading this. And it got better and better
as I kept reading the email, and I was like, Okay,
this is I gotta put this on the air. Yeah.
(47:24):
The only thing would have been better is if he
had if he had actually taken a selfie with the cops. Uh.
That was pretty good. Alright, listen, thank you, and will
be have another podcast on Saturday, another one on Sunday,
and so you can give us five stars if you
(47:45):
like the podcast. If you think we're a bunch of whackerooles,
just don't review the podcast. That will help us out.
And if you want to email us for a future edition.
A question. You can send it to I gave out
the wrong email actress last week. I gave out I
want to say it again. It's the real. It's real
fifth Hour at Gmail no though, it's real fifth Hour
(48:06):
at gmail dot com or on the Facebook page Ben
Mallard Show. We'll have an email back for this weekend.
That question you send today will not be available for
that podcast. But you can also follow us on social media.
I am on cameo if you don't know what cameos
cameos whats that we mentioned it last week where if
you're a big fan of the show, or you know
(48:26):
somebody who's a fan of the show, you can surprise
them and a special personalized video greeting. It's not free,
but it's pretty cool. And Mike Tyson some a lot
of big names are on that that cameo website and
so it's it's pretty neat. But if you're a super
fan of the show, we've done a few of these things.
They're pretty neat. So go to cameo dot com search
my name Ben Maller and I have owned cameo page
(48:48):
and I would love to give you a video for
a birthday wedding if you're just going stir crazy, batshit
crazy because of what's going on, and if that would
cheer you up, we'd love to do it. And also
on Twitter at Ben Mallard, in Instagram Ben Maller on Fox.
How can people reach you? Guesst Gun follow me on
Twitter at David J. Gascon, Instagram at Dave Gascon. Of course,
(49:11):
if you did download this podcast on Apple, iTunes or
any other outlet, you can actually read the description of
the podcast in the summary of it. We got Ben's
info on their minds as well. So all right, listen,
have a great day today, keep downloading the podcast, stay healthy,
and hopefully our politicians will have some common sense before
(49:32):
we know it. Have a good weekend.
Host
Ben Maller
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