A Hidden Jewel

Always making himself relatable, Ben does his part by digging ditches and searching for random things. Something caught Ben's eye in recent days and he made sure to jump on the opportunity. All was not roses for him though when he returned to the Maller Mansion as a troublesome creature was waiting on his front porch. The fellas get back to pop quiz before they wrap things up.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of
the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich

(00:21):
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller starts right now. Nine that it does. We
are in the air everywhere, as we are all over
the globe. Magic, the power of podcasting, the global reach.

(00:44):
We thank you for downloading this or Saturday podcast. Eight
days a week, eight days a week, four hours obviously
not enough on the overnight. And you can hear this
podcast where you found it, but anywhere in the I
Heart podcast network available. We're ever you get your podcasts.
And we learned from our friend Andy Firman yesterday the

(01:05):
most important connection is the personal connection. So if you
can tell a friend in your circle that you like
the podcast, hey give it a listen, man, That would
that be cool? That would really help us out a lot.
We are joined from west of the four oh five,
sacheting his way in doing the foxtrot. David Gascon, better

(01:26):
known by his nickname Gascon. Yes, that's exactly right. I
didn't catch what you were saying initially because I was
busy looking at booty models on Instagram. But uh, it's
wonderful and he and he was great man and he's
and he is awesome. I love I love those old stories.
I I could have listened to Andy talk all night,

(01:46):
that story about Belichick asking him for a tape for
an upcoming opponent. When you compare and contrast the difference
between what's going on these days and the video departments
of all these teams and some of the promote otions
that Andy did back in the day, Oh god, what
a what a great he He's got to write a book.
I don't know if he did write. Maybe he's written
a book, but he should write one about all those stories.

(02:08):
But it's just wild because you've done this with other
guests that you've brought onto, But it's wild to hear
the stories of then. And immediately when we're done and
we talked about it, we just say that ship would
never work today. Oh no, you know everyone's looking for
something to be offended by. These days, you know, the

(02:29):
offended mob, the always offended mob is is out there.
Everyone's offended by everything. And of course it used to
be that we would say, like, just because you think
you're offended and you say you're offended, that does not
qualify something as offensive. These days, just the act of
saying something is offensive means it's offensive. And I learned
a few days ago that sexual preference is offensive. Yes, yes,

(02:56):
Well I also learned that if a certain political parties
representation says something within hours, a certain dictionary will change
the definition. It's an amazing power. I had an idea.
I thought I thought politicians are just politicians. I didn't
know they had the power to change the definition of
words within hours. I had no idea. Well, we're we

(03:17):
are learning that certain politicians and certain groups have the
power to manipulate and change and and even suppress certain
content due to social media influences and whatnot. So this
is a time to be alive. But now that is,
let me tell you something. That situation that happened the
other day with Facebook and Twitter, Uh, that is going

(03:37):
to be their demise. Okay, because at some point, there's
gonna be a come to Jesus moment where the political
oligarchy in America get together and say, well, wait a minute,
I mean this these it's a weird thing because those
are technically private companies Twitter and Facebook, but it has
become the public square. And so you know, television and

(04:02):
and radio stations are are technically owned by private people,
but they're licensed by the government, so there's rules and regulations. Obviously,
it's the way it works, right. You You can own
like I Heart Media owns a ton of radio stations, right,
but those radio stations are governed by the rules of
the Federal Communications. Now. I don't like the red tape,

(04:24):
and I don't like the rules, and I would hate
to see more bureaucracy. But you can't be you can't
be bullying and taking stories away because they don't fit
your agenda when they're legitimate stories. Cannot do. It a
little odd that you'd have a company like Twitter or Facebook,
um try to suppress journalists and say, what hold on?

(04:48):
We have the journalistic integrity, the fact the fact checkers.
I get the biggest kig checkers. Who the hell, who
the funk are your fact checkers? Oh my god, it's
the high moral authority from these twenty two, twenty three
year olds that just got out of college that are
your fact checker. You got a bunch of hyper sensitive,
you know, full outraged half wits that are are deciding,

(05:11):
Oh no, no, no, oh my god. It's maddening. It
is maddening, is what it is. It is good and
it was great because yeah, the the the the Q
and A was Centator Herono from Hawaii and Amy Coney
Barrett talking about sexual orientation or sexual preference and then

(05:31):
immediately Webster's Dictionary just flips that thing and makes it
into offensive. It was just it was fascinating to see
in real time because if that was on some kind
of music or music a magazine stand, you would think
that it's just like gossip coming from a from a tabloid.
But nope, this is this is the real world. This
is Yeah, it's pretty pretty crazy. And some people downplay it,

(05:56):
says it's not that big a deal, but it's a
lot different than it is. And I'm not thinking it's better.
I don't think it's better. So we can we could
go from pay phones and rotary phones to cell phones,
but holy fuck, like we are changing as we speak
the way that we are and are not allowed to

(06:17):
to communicate with each other. Yeah, I I hate to
go down this road, but you you brought it up,
so we'll go down this road. Like the when I
when I was a kid. You know those nursery you
know the nursery rhymes. Everyone's when you were a little kid.
You do the nursery rhymes and all that stuff. But
remember the one sticks and stones may bake my bones,
but names will never hurt me. Remember that one? What

(06:38):
happened to that one? Right? You know? Now? It's you know, row,
row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily.
Life is but a dream. It's apparently just a dream.
It's all. It's all a dream. But I like the
a sticks and stones thing. I think that's you know,
that's a good thing. Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but names will never hurt me. My god, how hard that? Yeah,

(07:00):
he's I think that I heard that thing loud and
proud when I was a child, And uh, it's on
display every time I work with you. Now, it's all huffing, puffing,
blow your house down. You can really translate anything in
life to a nursery run you can, You certainly can.

(07:21):
That's a lot of there's a lot of rock goodbiite baby,
which is great because you know that they have these
places now set up at universities. Oh yeah, I've heard
those stories where they have the safe spaces and that
they maybe Adam Carolla made a movie about that last year,
a documentary about just that whole mindset and all that.

(07:43):
The the rogue agent here that's a citizen of the
United States and resides in California, is he moving to
Nashville too? I think everyone's moving to Nashville. Everyone'sville or
Texas or Arizona, I don't know, somewhere someplace. So on
this podcast, we have one man's trash, there's another man's treasure.
We've got Alvin and the Chipmunks and pop Quiz. All right,

(08:07):
that's what we got. And we already started with some
political theater, which is which is good. I love the
Honorable Senator Ben Sass from Nebraska who, uh, we did
a monologue on it the other day and a bunch
of the astro fans got all upset, but it was wonderful.
And Ben Sass, who called at a judicial hearing judicial

(08:31):
hearing for a US Supreme Court nominee. Uh he said
that Astros are miserable cheaters. My god, was that great?
And the best part about it was he didn't use
it like he was just trying to slide in a
quick liner. He actually laid it out. I saw the
clip that you sent. It was five minutes. But he
laid it out perfectly. And he went into how they

(08:52):
should have been penalized a lot more severe than they were.
It was just great. And then he took shots obviously
across the room in the judicial process. Yeah, and it
was good, and it was you know, the people with
no sense of humor that was stick up their ass. They, Oh,
I can't believe me did that? Oh my god, screw.
I don't care. I know he's a Republican, but if
you're a Democrat or a Republican, you should smile. That's

(09:13):
that's if you have bipartisan support. As I said I
think in the monologue the other day, is that that
was it was hilarious. So which is atrocious because as
soon as the Astros advanced to the ALCS, I immediately
see Twitter handles based in Houston from radio stations tagging
you on tweets, and you know, I'm just like, come on, man, like,

(09:37):
oh yeah, with a local I I get a kick
out of it. The local hack, local radio fanboy hack,
I called him, uh, and I I find it very amusing.
I I'm honored that I have the bulls eye pointed
at me by the local radio hack. That tells me
I'm doing a good job. It does. It tells me,
hey that you're you're you're doing good. This is a

(09:58):
good thing. Don't stop what you're doing at all, never changed,
never changed. Yeah, it's like, uh, we're all going to
defend the hometown team, no matter how embarrassing they are.
My god, come on, but you you've had it with teams,
You've had it with radio stations, You've had scribes, and
now you're having on social media accounts to It's amazing.

(10:20):
I've had people threatened to sue me. I had Do
you know that story? Actually, I don't know if I've
told the story before, but the late czet Copic, who
was a Chicago radio person. I'm actually friend of Mike North.
I didn't bring this up to Mike, but I wrote
something on my website about check Copic and he emailed
me and threatened to assume me because he said it

(10:42):
wasn't it was true what I wrote, and he threatened assume.
He was all upsetting. He starts attacking me, my my broadcasting.
He was like, very very upset. That's great. What when
you said that story? Because he's dead now, but we
were allowed to say it. But yeah, do you remember
like the meat and potatoes of it all? You know,
he was doing a radio like a syndicated type radio thing,

(11:03):
and I think I had been tipped off to to
something that that he was doing that, or was it
was was doing that he got he got he was
gonna get in trouble for something, and I wrote about
it and he said it was bullshit and he got
all upset. And was he recording his show and then
playing it as it was live? I don't, I don't
remember these specifics. I had to go back the archives

(11:24):
of Ben Mallard dot com, which are on the way
back Machine. I could probably find find the story and
it still active Ben mallare dot com. No, no, that
that guy website is gone, but if you go to
the way back Machine, it archives some of the posts
that I made there. Yeah, Chet died, I think in
a car accident. Last was it last year? I think yeah? Unfortunately,

(11:47):
But he was a legend in Chicago media. He was
like the godfather of Chicago sports radio. But he didn't
like me. You didn't like me. But you know, no
one's perfect, right, No one's perfect. So anyway, let's go
we what do we have here? We have One man's
trash is the man treasure. So this is another personal story, guest,
I must be relatable. So I enjoy suburban hiking. I

(12:08):
got my headphones in Uh. In fact, I I talked
to you. Sometimes I make a few phone calls. Usually
I listened to some tunes or whatever. Maybe a game
if it's it's an afternoon game when I'm walking around
in baseball, So I'm I'm always when I'm walking, I'm
always rotating my eyes. I'm observing my surroundings. Uh. And

(12:28):
this week that paid dividends, opportunity structure. I'm walking down
a pretty busy highway that is near near the Mallard mansion,
and I'm I'm walking there, and I'm as i'm walking,
I'm counting the I call them idiots who while driving
wear their masks in the car with the window up.

(12:49):
You know that the word that by being in the
car with the window up, they might get the corona. UM.
So I I always count them, and I'm I'm looking
to make sure no one's gonna hit me or try
to um. And then I stumbled on a pile of garbage.
So on the right I'm going, I'm going like north.
On the right of me is the highway. On the

(13:12):
left of me is like this kind of disheveled part
of town where it's like an empty field. Right, so whatever,
I'm walking and surrounded by businesses, but this this just
happens to be empty. And as I'm walking, I get
near this empty field and I see this big pile
of discarded clothes, and there's a there's a shopping cart,

(13:34):
there were some street signs, some traffic cones that it's
all random, like a hodgepodge of crap that was just there, um.
And there was some random paper trash. And then I
had a diamond in the rough that I witnessed guests
gun in the middle of that trash. In the middle
of that just random discarded clothes and stuff that people

(13:57):
just tossed off the street was day laundry matt grade
rolling cart in great condition, right in the middle, and
it called out to me. It said, Ben, take me
to the Mallard mansion. I need to go to the
Mallard mansion. And I'm like, whoa right, So I immediately
at that moment, I couldn't take it at that time

(14:19):
because I was in the middle of my way. So
I decided I needed to salvage this orphan laundry Mack
grade rolling card, which some people would say as a
piece of junk, and I had to take it to
the to the mat matchion. So I made a deal
with myself, guest gun, I said, when I am done
with this walk, when I'm making I was far away
from my my house at that time, and when I

(14:41):
make it back to the house, I'm gonna be back here.
I'm gonna save. I'm the savior. I'm gonna save that
laundry mac grade rolling card, a clothing card. So I
walked by. I went back to the house, and then
I had to go to the store anyway. I had
to pick up some things for the wife, a couple
ofion of vegetables and some crap like that. So on

(15:02):
the way to the store, I made a pit stop.
I turned on my emergency blinkers. I stopped on the
side of that busy highway. I got out, I opened
the reel of the rear of the car, and my
wife had left some crap in there, so I had
to move stuff around because this laundromatt grade rolling cart

(15:23):
was so massive that it would not fit in the
back of the car. Because there was other stuff that
I had to move things around. And as he took
a lot longer than I wanted, emergency blinkers are flashing
the whole thing, and I was able to pick this
thing up. I put it in and right now you
can't see this because we're on a podcast, but right
behind me in the hallway outside I call it Studio B,

(15:45):
which is the Mallard studio at the Mallard mansion. Right
outside is that laundry matt grade rolling clothing cart, which
I have saved and will be used. I actually wanted
to buy one of these things. Guests gone, I was.
I told my wife the laundry is a pain in
the ass for everyone. Nobody liked doing laundry, So I
was like, why don't we get one of those cards

(16:05):
that will make it a lot easier. And we never
did but it just fell into my lap. It's it's great.
I'm happy with this. I'm so excited. Who knew that
I would be excited. I never thought when I was
a little kid that I would be excited as a
middle aged man to get a laundry cart for free.
And this thing is like a four dollar laundry cart.
It's not just like a you know, a piece of

(16:26):
crap that you bought, you know, at the discount, or
this is a I'm telling you, it's top notch here
and in any other year, I'd be appalled by this story.
But it's and we gotta look at some of the
smaller things in life. Well, I'm not I'm not west
of the four or five guest Scouts, So I I
if I was west of the four or five, I
just go buy a laundry cart. But I'm a struggling
overnight radio guy that took a pay cut this year

(16:49):
because of the COVID. So yeah, there's there's nothing struggling
about Ben Mallory and the Mallard mansion. I don't know
what you're talking about. Man, you haven't been out here
in a long time. We serve cold chicken. According to you,
because we do. We can't afford warm chicken, cold chicken,
and and burnt steak or frozen steak. Yes, Um, that

(17:09):
that steak is sitting comfortably. That's say, what's gonna come first?
Me eating the steak or Ted Williams head coming back
to life. I think it's more likely that you'll pop
into the studio before that good steak is. Actually I
am gonna come to the studio this week. I have
to pick up some mail. So people have alerted me
that we have mail, so I need to pick up
the mail. When I say we, it's mostly me that

(17:31):
is a hey, I'm worried, guest. Am I gonna end
up on? Did you ever run it by your wife
that you can bring that cart back back to the
house or did you just show up with it? And
she was like I told her, I said I got something,
I found something, you know. Uh yeah, Now she's cool
with it. She doesn't you know, she doesn't mind actually say,
I think she thinks it's funny. Um, but no, I'm

(17:54):
always listen. If you can repurpose, one man's trash is
another man's treasure. It's like a modern day storage war,
right the show? Um? Yes, Anonymous like thirty minutes segments
of storage wars where people go in these storage centers
and they bid on ship and the storage and you
find that one, like you said, Diamond and the rough. Yeah, yeah, no, no,
it's it's going. I didn't go out looking for it.

(18:15):
I don't go out looking for this ship. But if
I find it, I'm like, hey, I I and I'm
not kidding. I did want to get a professional laundry
Mark Laundry Matt cart I wanted that. And this thing
is in really good condition. It's like I was like
when I went up to it, I was like skeptical.
I'm like, all right, this thing must be there's something
wrong with it. Doesn't look like there's anything wrong with it,

(18:36):
but there's something must be wrong with it. What is it?
And I, you know, I rolled it, I put there
was some trash in it. I took the trash out
and I rolled it around and it was fine. So
I was like, all right, let take that. Since you
and your wife talk about Christmas gifts up front before
you purchase some, yeah, you should request a go go

(18:57):
pro for you. Just let a Certain stories that you
talk about nowadays are just marvelous. Thank you, I'm glad
you appreciate my bath the bathroom debacle at the park.
I should have taken a picture of the damage, the carnage. Yes,
the I I was even shocked that my ass could

(19:22):
have produced that much ship all over the toilet. I
am still amazed by that that one human being could
have that much. That is, the whole side of the
bathroom walls were covered. It looked like I had painted
the walls brown. It was unbelievable. Yes, the bathroom mistake

(19:43):
here at Fox, that was. That was unfortunate when I
had to do the show Commando. And my favorite part
of that is that none of the people I work
with and even noticed anything different that I was able
to pull it off even though I had just shat
myself five minutes before the show, or ten minutes before
the show, waddling into the studio. Yes, good, go pro

(20:05):
with you on the weekends. To be pretty good? All right?
What else I have? Alban and the Chipmunk? Sorry, this
is good. This is another classic story. I said, I
try to save these things because Eddie doesn't appreciate them.
You know, I don't think ed he appreciates these stories.
You you on the podcast appreciate her. So so my
wife's I've said before, she's like a bit of a hippie,

(20:26):
bit of a hippie, and she's also like Mary Popping.
She's always got lots of bags of crap that she
carries with her. I was I call I call her
like Mary Poppas because she's always got like, whatever you need,
she'll have in one of her bags. You know, she
has like the bag of potions. Right, yeah, exactly, exactly exactly,
so so manywait, she's she's to use a word that

(20:46):
Andy Furman would appreciate. From yesterday, she's into a lot
of Michigas, alright, a lot of Michigan And now her
latest thing is she's decided that she's into horticulture, and
her idea to fix the planet is a you know
what it is, guests gon take gi guests, I don't
even they want to guess. It is to put a

(21:07):
compost bin in the front yard, right compost. Bit. So,
from from now on, she just started this a week ago,
all of the vegetable and the organic food waste are
going to be tossed into this kind of like basket
thing and turned into soil for the garden. Right, So
she's now found her green thumb. Now, I wanted to

(21:28):
tell you when she made the announcement to me that
this is what she was gonna do, I, of course,
as a pessimist, informed her that this was a bad idea, right,
I said, listen, it is going to attract all kinds
of critters and varmints, right, what are you doing? Uh?
And they're gonna be rats there and rodents and all this,

(21:51):
you know, And do we need to encourage them that?
You know, it's the the saloon is open for business here,
you know, or the restaurant. It's an all you can
eat buffet of food for the rats and the little critters.
She assured me it would be fine. So we're like
a week into this, okay, and uh, the kid informs me, hey,

(22:13):
check the compost bin. Right. So I'm like, I'll go
out there and check the compost bin. Uh. And I'm like,
what's the hullabaloo about? I go and look. I peek
in over the you know, it's a pretty big kind
of basket e thing that you put the stuff in.
So I peek over the compost bin and I witness
the rotting carcass of a cute little squirrel or chipmunk

(22:36):
that was had been feasting on rotting food and apparently
either ate so much of it, gorged so much of it,
or just ate the wrong thing and die a man,
it's demise in the compost bin. So I don't know
if the squirrel killed itself or if it ate something,
and you know, either way it's uh, it's dead. So

(22:58):
that proves I am correct. I told my well lifes
of this. That is a death trap right there. You are.
You're killing a cute little squirrel. And the way it
died too, a guest gun is it had its arms
up like those little cute sure, yeah, yeah, which it
was like in mid bite probably and that that was it.
The did you do the righteous thing and pull it

(23:18):
out and then skin it? It makes them like road kills,
squirrels stew or something like that. Uh yeah, you know,
I heard the only difference between a chipmunk and a
squirrel is the stripe on the back. That's what I
was told that that's pretty pretty much the only difference.
That the chipmunk has a stripe on the back of
the squirrel does not. Wait, hold on, why did you
go out first and not your wife, since it was sleep.

(23:39):
She was sleeping. She was sleeping, so I haven't. It's
actually technically still in the compost, but I have to
get to shovel out and I have to give it
a proper burial, which my wife said is just throw
it in the bushes. Yes, because we have some tree,
you know, the front of the house, there's some trees.
Just throw it in there. Just throw it in a

(24:00):
You're good to go. So it's gonna decompose in front
of your house. That's just great. I know, I know
it's it's a wonderful thing. And I haven't been kept
at the speed on the varmint upstairs. What's up with that?
You know, I haven't heard it, and we I was.
I told the wife, I think maybe it might have
been a squirrel, and maybe that was the squirrel. Maybe

(24:22):
you actually killed the squirrel that was running around like
the squirrels. Like I got the run of the Mallard mansion.
I'm gonna live in the attic and then I can eat.
They're gonna these idiots are gonna give me food and
heat whatever I want, you know, that whole thing. And
then surprise, surprise, surprise, obviously, um then it's men. Yeah,
but I haven't heard it the last couple of days,
and I got I gotta get you know, I gotta

(24:42):
get up there. I gotta get somebody up there to investigate.
Shall we say? Yeah, you gotta be careful with what
you're saying right now too, because you might inspire weed
man hippie to live upstairs and you're attic and then
go into the compost and uh then feast on the
other ship that you have in there. Well, some have
said it might be weed man. It might actually be
weed man. Who's up there, And who's to say it's not.

(25:02):
I have no idea it might be wed man. That's
pretty damn good. Yeah. So anyway, those are my two
stories of the weeks. Gain I got, I got nothing else.
That's those the only two things that happened that are
interesting this week. You had another really good story obviously,
Uh what's that? Oh yeah, well I can't tell that story. Yeah,
that'll be someday if I'm when I'm out of radio

(25:23):
and I write my my tell all memoirs. Although I
wouldn't mind writing a book before I'm out of radio.
But you know, I'll go into that, go into some details. Yeah,
I did. I had one of those moments in radio
where it was an ah ha moment, but it was
an aha moment which in an odd way verified one
of my my deep state conspiracy theories was proven correct.

(25:45):
I was vindicated. I didn't think I would be vindicated
that way, but I was vindicated. And for all those
since we can't talk about the story like the way
that this all was inspired in the conversation was you
called me and you said, this is why my name
is the marquee, and I just and then I had
to fucking listen for twenty minutes, so I don't know

(26:08):
what you're talking. Yes, I don't know. You're stay dramatic here.
You're such a You're such a thespian is what you are, baby,
A little bit, but you are too in some ways.
I mean that it is I learned from Andy Firm
and my my radio down. We didn't even get into
the whole Brian Finley thing with with Andy. We didn't
go down that road. A little awkward that he considers
him and me both daddy. That's a that's a little

(26:31):
bit awkward. It is, you know, I really feel good
about it when I hear it yeah, it's it's it's
a little strange. I would have I would have great,
a little, a little odd. How would you how would
you rate your week of producers since I'm not there week? Well,
you know, I like these guys. They're they're doing their things.
But you know, everyone's got their own their own stuff.

(26:53):
You know, they get their own issues. And you were
the worst, which is which is good? You're the worst
because you wouldtimidate these kids, and they just they feel like,
I'm not even there. How could I intimidate him. I'm
I'm you know, in the machine and in the magic radio.
When you don't talk to these people, they listened to
you on the air, and they immediately interpret that as

(27:16):
the great thing. And I guess it's just the younger generation.
But I told the story before. But like when I
when I would fill in and I started at the
mighty six nine, even occasionally I would produce and I
would run the board for different shows and things like that,
and I I always wanted to make a great impression.
I always wanted to listen to the show that I
was gonna work on as a fill in guy, just
so I kind of knew what it was all about.

(27:37):
None of these people listen to the show, not a
single one of them listen to the show, and they
have no idea what it is. They have no concept
of what it is, which I am just blown away by.
And every one of them is the same way. None
of them listen, and they come in there and they're
like they all it's just don't get me started, guest.

(27:58):
I think it's fun that they don't listen, that they
have no concept of what they're you know, No, I
think it's fun that you get the curveballs, because it
can't like there's nothing. It's doing live radio as you
do for for three to four hours every night. You're
you're flying, you're flying without a parachute. You're you're walking
into school naked, like you can't. It's not scripted, it's

(28:19):
not supposed to be so much. Ship just goes wrong
or you can take it off the air. You have
to drive in here. Like there's just something unique about
that that people gravitate towards, as opposed to the things
that are just so monotone and regular and black and white,
like happened during the day. No, I mean, it's obviously
different to night. But I'll give you I'm not gonna

(28:41):
say who did this, but you screwed up with the phones.
We had another phone faux. The buttons don't work on
the fucking phone. They don't fucking work. They work for
everyone else, But you think everyone else can figure it out.
But guess do you think you might be the problem? Possibly?
I broke several of the buttons when hitting lines when
I was in or last week. Yeah, well, how about you,

(29:03):
lou use a little softness with the buttons. How about
that getting some material that's not dated in nineteen? Well
that's when they built the station, equip it from nineteen
that we're still using. I'm aware of the situation. Guess
how about not crucify me for for pushing ship that's

(29:23):
twenty years old and then saying you're the guy, you're
the problem? All right? Oh you're so. He's so sensitive.
It's just like a little flower. I feel like I
feel like it need to be defended. Now, can I
tell the story about the other mistake. I'm not gonna
name this person because I you know I want to
do that, But there's something else that happened here, okay,

(29:44):
that I gotta kick out of. So the other night,
I'm doing a show, uh, you know, which we normally do,
just doing the regular show and all this stuff. And
so it's about forty minutes in the show and I
asked the fill in producer. I said, Hey, Wanny, wanna
give me the calls here so I can take a call.
You know, makes a call in here. I'm talking a lot.

(30:05):
Let's take a call. Uh. He says, uh, you know,
no one's call and I I say, you know, I've
I've worked in radio for for twenty years. I've worked
in radio at Fox Sports Radio. We're on four radio stations.
And I've never done a show for forty minutes without
a phone call ever. I've been on Christmas, I've been
on Thanksgiving, I've been on New Year's. I've never done

(30:29):
a segment or two segments without a phone call. It's
never happened. And uh, and then I recall, um what
he probably did. And so I then informed him, Um,
are the lines are they busy? And he said, yes, Ben,
they are busy. And he didn't realize that he there's
a way you can busy out the phone lines when

(30:51):
you don't want to take any calls. And the first
like forty minutes. The lines were completely busy. You couldn't
get he couldn't take a phone call because there were
no phone calls because he and he didn't even realize it.
So yeah, no one's called Ben. Oh my god, that's good. Yeah, wonderful.
That brought a tear to my eye. He's like a

(31:11):
young guest. I was so proud when I initially heard that.
It was really it was like a father proud of
his son. I was like, think about that. And I've
had three people sitting for coop and two of them
don't know how to use the phone system when that's
literally the job description is to screen the phone calls
and talk to the people and put them on and

(31:33):
all that fascinating. Yeah, don't what do you? Bill Belichick grunting,
What is that? Yeah? I don't know. That was great.
That was actually really really? Were people bitching about it
or no? Well no, because I didn't say it on
the air, I said, I just didn't. I didn't take
any Well, Well, guesscan you see here's the thing that

(31:56):
you've been around the block. This was. Whoever did that
was kind of new. You You should know better. That
person shouldn't know better, But you should know better, or
putting people in that position that should know better, so
they'll put them in that position. Wow, you want do
you have anything else? I can we get to pop quiz?
When I sent you a picture was a proud moment
for Oh yeah, ye look at that gascons walking around

(32:22):
west of the four oun No, but it was a
good because you mentioned with with Sass the other day
taking his shots like what's the four oh five? And
in her most of beach um there's balconies and patios
and there was a couple that had their Halloween set
up and they had some pumpkins around, some scarecrows and
they actually had uh An Astro's jersey on and it

(32:44):
just said cheaters on it as opposed to Astros. It was.
It was a great moment, man, it was good. Yeah,
what's the four being? Looking at the photo, you don't
know it's real or it's fake. You know that's true.
We see those stories every Halloween. It is your tradition
and Halloween where it's great. So so someone will drop

(33:07):
dead in a parking lot and people, oh, it's part
of it's a halloween. They'll think it's like a Halloween thing,
like the people and it's no, it's actually a dead person.
Somebody died there and that's a Have you and the
wife gone to the Queen Mary for Halloween? Uh? No,
I have been to I've been to the Queen Mary

(33:28):
in the past, obviously back in the back in the day.
But I know not for Halloween. You do go. No, No,
I've never done it, but I'm always curious to people
like to do certain things on Halloween, like nuts nut
Sparry Farm does they're not scary farm. Universal Studios had
done the Walking Dead for quite a while. I think
they did it up until this year obviously. Um, but yeah,

(33:49):
there's there's always cool things to do with Halloween. Just
it sucks obviously if we're having a cancel here in California.
But yeah, it's kind of yeah. I don't think there's
any any Halloween. I don't think that's allowed. Yeah, you know,
you go to hell if you celebrate the Wickan holiday.
Cannot do it? Yeah, all right, pop quiz, here we go.

(34:10):
Guess got about fifteen million people in North America regularly
play this sport. It never really gets talked about on
sports radio though soccer. No, there's more than fifteen million
people playing soccer in America. Guess come on, it's about
chop by you horse shoes. Oh can you believe there
are fifteen million people, they claim in North America that

(34:31):
play horse shoes. The only time I even mentioned horseshoes
is horse shoes and hand grinnings close soy monitors and
horse shows and well, you gotta think they probably do
this at a lot of fra turning houses, maybe sorority
at times. I guess, um, when's the last time you
played horse shoes? Uh? Probably a couple of years ago

(34:53):
in San Diego and the fourth of July. Yeah, yeah,
it's like a beach game. You are a park game.
It's like the fourth Yeah, fourth July Thanksgiving. You could
pull out the horseshoes. Yeah, all right. Once we do this,
of us will never do it again. What is it?

(35:14):
I can't say skydiving, jumping, because I do think once
you do get married, get married that would make sense
because most people only get married at one time. That
is incorrect though. It is change your voicemail greeting. Now,
once you set the voicemail, that's it. Whatever you put

(35:37):
as the voicemail that is going to be your voicemail forever,
forever and ever and ever and ever and ever about that.
That's interesting, That is true, though I don't I don't
change my voicemail. I don't really change my Twitter avatar either.
I don't you know that. You don't check your voicemail
in box either, because it's full and you needed to

(35:58):
erase some ship. That's because a certain guy from Chicago
calls me up and uh, he goes on and on.
You gotta be kidding me. Yeah, every yeah, he leaves
every voicemail messages from him. Fuck. Yeah, It's it's crazy,
all right. But you know, I'm hanging out here in Chicago.
I I got a new client, you know, in Kentucky

(36:20):
or something. He goes on and on and on. It's
pretty good. It was good though, years ago when he
left me a message, Hey, I'm bet I'm outside Wrigley Field.
I've got the goat head. I'm about to put it
on the Harry Carrey statue and that wake up and
it would be all over the internet. You know, cub
fan leaves bloody goat head at Wrigley Field. You know,
I heard that the Chicago Blackhawks statue in front of the

(36:43):
the United Center was was destroyed the other day. Oh
wasn't it was destroyed that right? Yeah, they like they
painted over it, they completely destroyed it. I was. I
did not hear about that, Yeah, I was. Did you
didn't hear about that during the Puck Podcast? I don't.
I don't listen to the podcast, all right, did you

(37:04):
mention it? Did he monologue on to riff on it?
I don't know. I didn't listen to it. I just
figured you would, so no, I don't know. I'm very busy,
you know. Yes, I'm sure it's wonderful. I just got
a big following there. He's got he's got a lot
of people. Do you think he's got more people listening
to that than people listen to this? Yes? Really, there's
more people listening to the Puck Podcast than our Yeah.
I think there's more people that like any than they
do hate me. So I think, Oh, we get you

(37:27):
at playing victimhood. No it's not. It's just victimhood guest
on his back. And that reminds me because we didn't
acknowledge this boo hoo. We did not acknowledge this, but
we did have some inquiries about it. We do not
we do not have control over cross promotions on podcasts. Yes,

(37:48):
so there are people that are in management positions that
make these decisions, and that's above our pay grade, right,
that's pretty business people that do ask like, we're not
bringing other content from other shows onto this podcast. They
are redistributing that to promote other shows, and likewise they
have this content put on other platforms as well. So yes,

(38:11):
and I get, I get, I've gotten those messages, and
I understand you're frustrated and all that. It's an inconvenience
for some For other people, maybe they'll like the show
and they'll start listening to that show. I think that's
what management wants, I assume, But it's really you're the consumer,
so you have to decide what you want to do
with that. Yes, you're the consumer. So alright, what else

(38:33):
do we have here? Let's see, no matter what time
of the year, this is more likely to happen to
men than women. Um, no matter the time of the year. Yeah,
I don't matter at the time of the year, um
um um um um um um. They they get the

(38:53):
flu pretty much. It's catch a cold, catch a cold.
Men are more likely to catch a cold and women.
Why is that because of high estrogenial levels, you're less
likely to get your goal? Is that one? Maybe it's
related to stress system gets weaker. All right, what was
the most tweeted about food last year? This is random,

(39:16):
This is pop quiz. David Gascon. I'm asking you and
also bo asking you, little listener, the most tweeted about
food last year. We can go so many ways with this,
but I will go with pizza. Pizza, all right, pizza,
of course incorrect. The answer is bock chicken. Chicken. Yeah,

(39:36):
people up chicken. We did a doc review on chicken.
Chicken is not even an animal anymore. It's just like
it's like a vegetable, you know, It's like you know
what I mean. There's so many produced chicken Big with
Big Chicken documentary that we did a review on. Alright,
People who do this every day, they experts claim, more

(39:56):
likely to have more friends. M um ummmmmm. Read the
read the newspaper, read the newspaper. No, make their bed.
Do you make your bed every day? No? Of course not,
but I don't. I don't really need to make my

(40:17):
bed because I don't have I have I just had
the down comforter. I don't have a bunch of sheets.
Are you a rabid sleeper? Do you twist and turn
a lot and your sleep? But I'm I'm hot when
I sleep, So I only sleep with the down comfort
that's it. So I just had the bed sheet, the
down comforter, that's it. Yeah, I always am very hot

(40:39):
when I'm sleeping to my wife's always coold. That's you.
Women are cold, men are hot, right, It's normally how
that works. And so I remember I was doing the
Sleep Number commercials when they were an advertiser back in
the day. We uh we had They had a bed
that had an air conditioner in it, and that's the
bed I want. I never got that bed, I lo I.
I still use the Sleep Number, but I love to
sleep my bed. It's a great bed. But I wanted

(41:01):
the one with the air conditioning because I thought that
would be really cool, literally really cool. It would make
me sleep a lot better. But I never never had
that item. That's pretty booge. And do you know how
much it cost? Oh yeah it was. It was pretty pricey.
It was expensive, but yeah, you can get you can
get that for a bed. Now. Is that similar to

(41:21):
what you have with seat warmers in a car, where
like your set of the bed you can adjust and
go hotter cold, and then your wife can do the same.
I don't remember the exact specifics on it. It was
like this big thing that it would blow cold air
through underneath the mattress, so when you're sleeping, you'd have
nice coolness, like a comfortable temperature. Did you ever sleep

(41:43):
or use a water bed back in the day? Uh,
you know, my my mom had horrible arthritis and so
she got a water bed. They had a water bed
because it was you know, it was supposed to help her,
you know, her limbs and all that stuff, but a
help her. And the thing was, you know, a piece
of crap because us kids would just jump up and

(42:04):
down on it. It was like we were at the
McDonald's playpin, you know, jumping up it down. But yeah,
you you're a waterbed game. No, my uncle got rest
to Solva back in the day. He had a water bed.
So when I'd go to my grandma's house, Um, we
jump on it on his bed and the same thing,
and the thing was just awful to try to lay on.

(42:25):
It was super uncomfortable. They've they've mastered it with this
sleep member thing for sure. All right, what is next
year of people? Would rather do this then be intimate?
M hmm, play video games? Play video games? All right, No,

(42:47):
that is incorrect. Guess gun eat dessert? What? Yes? Do
not want to make? Whoopee? I would like a nice
ice cream Sunday. You gotta find a new partner then,
if that's the case. Yeah, A little tough, A little tough.
There a good ice cream sandwich, guest gun with the milk, chocolate,

(43:09):
the cookies and the what would take longer if you
to do have sacks or to eat an ice cream sandwich?
I'll take your answer off the air, Okay, I'll take
yours off. Reminds me, what's his name? But the ice
cream sandwiches? Have you gotten any of those yet? From? From?
What's his name in Anaheim? What's his name in Anahem? Anthony?

(43:31):
And an Anthony? And um, yes, like he's like the
he's the ice cream guy. What Yeah, he was weed
weed in the ice cream sandwiches? Does that what Anthony does? No?
But he had these specific ice cream sandwiches. Are you
talking about the cool couse? How were you talking? I
think so? Yes? Yeah, no, I I did not get
the cool I I love the cool I used to

(43:52):
he throws a Dodger Stadium. I got fat on coolouse
at Dodger Stadium, but I did not I've not done that.
I did go to the store that and I picked
up some there big chocolate chip cookie on east side
vanilla ice cream in the traditional ice cream sandwich, and
I love it. That's my favorite ice cream sandwich, although
the cooler cool brings back memories. You gotta eat that

(44:14):
quick because the chocolate kind of melts if you know
you're holding it in, the chocolate melts and it gets
a little messy. Yeah, that is similar to My favorite
was the drumsticks and the drumsticks oh yeah, we said
the big box of drumsticks. Oh yeah, and the you
gotta eat that and then the little nuts on top
they would fall off, and but they advanced, and I
think the best thing was the payoff because when you

(44:36):
got to the bottom of the cone, they all sat chocolate. Yeah, yeah,
that was a good payoff. I think they did that
so it didn't leak, right. Isn't that why they put
the chocolate in there, because that way if the ice
cream when it melted, it wouldn't go through the bottom
because the chocolate would block maybe because but the originals
didn't have the chocolate in them. No, that's an upgrade,

(44:59):
that's what I'm saying. It was probably upgrade because they're like,
they realized this is a flaw in production and they
had to and they do improve it a little recalling
the drumsticks. Yeah, that's true, all right. A new survey
asked people what foods they hated as kids but now
like as an adult. This came in at number one.

(45:19):
I can speak from experience. I guess on this would
it be broccoli? But is a vegetable? But it's not
brocco tomatoes? No corn on corn? Not? Corn's not really vegetable,
you know, it's like onions. No, it's asparagus. Oh yeah,

(45:40):
not not from me, not for me. Although I do
eat a few more vegetables, and I like bell peppers
and I'll eat I do occasionally. I don't like tomatoes.
I love onions. I love garlic. I'm all about the garlic, obviously.
I like garlic when I was a kid, though, so
it's not really any different, all right, do you put
tomatoes on the those I don't know what you call it,

(46:02):
but that thing that you make like I guess that's
the thing that you make. Yeah, Like you sent me
a picture of this thing that looked like a pizza.
Do you put any tomatoes on that? It's tomato sauce.
There's a the Mallard pizzas. You got the dough, um
and you combine that together. You lay out the dough obviously,
and then you you I paint, because I'm I'm a
culinary artist. I paint the tomato sauce, just like at

(46:24):
the pizzeria and Papa's Pizzeria, and so I paint that
all over. And then I have a layer of cheese.
Then I mix in the pepperoni, the turkey pepperoni. I
mix that in there. Then I have a second layer,
and then I have on top, I put the bell
pepper and the garlic and the onion. And that's the
Millard pizza. And it's unbelievable to die for. That is

(46:46):
what it is. It is to die for. It look
like someone's face that was getting melted off. When you
sent me a picture of it, it just looked appalling
to me. Yeah, well, your West of the four oh five.
But some some places, though, they put the tomato sauce
on the the cheese on and they put tomatoes on
top with like bell peppers or pepper It's like Chicago

(47:06):
style or something like that. This is not This is traditional,
more of a New York style, a Kirkland brand style
type of pizza. All right, let's see here. Oh, this
is a good one. I think you'll appreciate this and
also be shocked. But at the same time, eighteen percent
of women admit they don't do this every day, although
most people think they should shower, no change their underwear.

(47:33):
About that one. Now, does that mean because they go commando?
I do not know that part of it, but they
just says they Why would they wouldn't be able to
change their underwe if they don't have underwear on? Yeah, exactly,
So inquiring minds must know. It's good to know women
are just like men, because dudes are were the same.
One to wear for three or four days, doesn't matter.

(47:54):
It's good to know women or not that you know.
It's eighteen percent of women are just like men. Now,
it would be great if they didn't do that because
they're superstitious. That'd be awesome. He's in my lucky lucky yes, yeah, alright.
Twelve percent of us have stolen this from a neighbor
without them ever knowing it. It's the perfect crime. Oh

(48:16):
do do do do do do do do do? Do?
Do do drink? Nope, WiFi? Uh, they were stolen WiFi
from a neighbor. Jumped on there and is that really stealing? No,
I don't think of it is if you're opening the
portal up to people with no password, then it's yeah.

(48:36):
You know, I've told the story before, but I haven't
told him a while. When I was in Buffalo after
a Bill's game, I had this brilliant idea, we'll just
go to a hotel room. Well, we'll go to a
hotel check in after the game. We don't have to
book a room because it's like Buffalo. Who the hell
stays in Buffalo. So we went to a several hotels.
They were all booked because everyone with the crowd, so

(48:57):
we couldn't get a hotel room. So we spent the
night in the rental car across from the Buffalo Niagara
Airport at a hotel in the parking lot. And the
reason we did that is because they had WiFi that
we we'd been playing on our our phone all night
and I was with my brother and my younger brother

(49:17):
who's now losing Wisconsin, and uh yeah, we sat in
the car until the sun came up. We tried to sleep,
I didn't really sleep, and then moved on to our
next next, next to dation. But I'd like to thank that.
I think it was like a holiday in I'd like
to thank the holiday and for not having a password
on their WiFi signal too. Yeah, it was yeah, because

(49:38):
we were right out in front of the lobby in
the parking lot and uh yeah, sitting there all right.
A thirty per cent of people have never once taken
this advice to do do do do do wow, um
wow wow wow wow wow. Move to town, move out

(50:01):
of town. Uh no, here's our soup of the day,
A recommendation from somebody at the restaurant, like my wife
will ask sometimes say it is so and so good.
I've always been of the mindset, why would you ask
the waiter what's good or not, because oftentimes they're gonna
If I was a waiter at a restaurant and somebody

(50:22):
asked me what's good, I would say the most expensive
thing on the menu is what I would say. Right,
So I got a couple more here, I gotta put
the baby to bed. A survey of adults asked what
was the scariest thing in your childhood when you were
growing up? What is the scariest thing? Um? I fun

(50:43):
for me, it was all my dad was piste off.
Oh your dad was anger of your dad. And they said,
this doesn't really affect a lot of kids in California
or the West. The basement. We don't have basements in
California because of earthquakes. Yeah, we have addicts, no Bay Smiths.
But yeah, the the basement. I wish i'd had. Basements
are fun. I wish we had basements. I wish that's

(51:06):
an added space bone that could be. Most guys have
their man cave in the basement. It's you, that's your sanctuary.
But in the West, no sanctuary does not happen. All right,
last one here on the pop quiz, and we'll put
the baby to bed. A new survey asked Americans ton
am a habit that helps wake them up in the morning? Now,

(51:28):
drinking coffee was obviously the most common answer. What was
numbered two? Taking a piss? Nobody beats the whiz That
is incorrect, incorrect. The correct answer brushing your teeth. Brushing
your teeth wakes you. How about for me, it was

(51:48):
throwing water in my face that would wake me up.
You know, you kind of go, you look at the mirror,
your little groggy there, and you splash some water in
your face. You never shower first thing in the morning. Now,
I shower before I go to bed. I'm a I'm
a shower before bed. Guy. I don't like to go
to bed dirty, so I shower before I go to sleep.
I figured, how dirty do I get when I'm sleeping?

(52:08):
Do you typically brush your teeth when you wake up
and go to bed? Uh? No, I again, I'll do
it jury right right before I go to bed. And
I'll also do it. Uh. You know sometimes I have
like a kind of a meal, it's spicy or something
like that. I'll brush my teeth during the day, but
usually it's before I go to bed. All right, Yeah, interesting,

(52:30):
that's right. Uh And that's it all right? Listen, Thank
you all. Download the podcast. Remember if you missed yesterday's podcast,
Andy Furman fur ball amazing stories from his career as
a promoter and like just just great, just great stuff
from Andy Furman, and so download that we get another
podcast tomorrow we'll do the mail bag. Yes, yes, all right,

(52:52):
have a great day and we'll catch you then. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
week days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific