August 11, 2026 • 16 mins
On today's episode we talked more about Selena's trip to Cancun and Graham gives us an update to a story he had brought up before.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jess is not look amused to be having to record
a while Thoughts podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Yeah wow, we are you so slunk down your seat.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Tuesdays are so bad, like Tuesday is just Tuesdays are
ruining my life.
Speaker 4 (00:12):
I thought i'd have more energy this morning because I
slept for my one hour commute. I slept the entire
time while I was driving. But it wasn't that RESTful sleep,
you know what I mean. It's like fucking people kept
honking at me and shit, and then I started like
all these sparks were flying when my car was like
scraping against the center divide, and it's just like it
wasn't RESTful sleep.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I can't wait till like I can get picked up
from some you know, and something like a way Mo,
like once I trust them more to drive on the freeway,
and once it's more affordable, so I could just get
an extra forty minutes to sleep every morning, that would
be nice.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
We're not far from your own personal car being allowed
to drive fully autonomous.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
That's what I fucking need.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I want that because right now it's like you see
the videos of people shaming other people, like look they're
asleep behind the wheel, that there Tesla, like, I don't care.
That thing probably drives better than they do. And I
want to be the person asleep behind the wheel, but
I want to be laying down like in the back seat, like, yeah,
you know what.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Lottery so we don't have to actually come into work.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
There's also get your mega millions power ball whatever tomorrow
nine and seventy five million, almost a billion.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
And we are kicking off this wild That's podcast with the.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Talk back's play your favorite game?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
And Selena wasn't for birthday?
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Did Selena feel it for that voucher?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Okay, a little hard to hear, confused a little hard
to hear.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
But he's talking about your recent trip to Cancun and
it was for your man's birthday.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, and so I think you wanted to ask.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Did Selena feel it for the voucher? That wasn't worded right?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Yeah, but what was where the voucher cash?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
There was no voucher cash?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Is what I mean to tell me? You went all
the way to fucking can come for a birthday and
you did you didn't and he my boy didn't catch
a voucher.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
That's criminal, he did it.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I mean like there was other things that happened, but
not not the voucher. And and honestly, we were We
were so drunk most of the time that like, no excuses,
no regards, And if he if he would have presented
the voucher, I would have had no choice to fill it.
Do you know what I mean? I shouldn't, Like I
didn't remind him.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Did he have his laminated and you found it later?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I think he forgot to pack it.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Oh no, because you guys had such an amazing trip.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
If he comes to you like a week later and
he's like, hey, you know I already told him.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I already told him that he can still redeem, redeem Okay, really, yeah,
I did tell him that, but I couldn't last night
either because I mean, I don't know if you guys
know this or not, but I'm kind of fucking concussing
over here. I'm just not really feeling like fulfilling any
vouchers right now.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
C walk it off. You'll be fun. C. We won't
know until we can examine your brain.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I don't feel right, I know that much. I don't
fucking feel right.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Okay, So once you're feeling right, you're not going to
make him wait all the way till next year on
his birthday to cash the Volchuer you expire.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
There is an exporation.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
No, but this is a special circumstance I think, or
he can still redeem.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Is it like a buy one, get one free?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
What kind of No, I'm not doing a two for
not No, not at all.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Well that's fair, but good on you to still honor
it being past the expiration day.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah, this one time only Okay, one time.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Was like a trip thing and a thing.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Yeah, and we were too drunks, and yeah, you have
a medical note that helps you.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Have a doctor's note.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, that does make it worthwhile.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Is there anything from your cancuon trip that needs to
be discussed in the wild thoughts?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yes, we went to one thing about like our August trip,
because it's not just my man's birthday. We're there with
like two or three of the people that also have
August birthdays.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
So some other dudes, some other dude that has an
August birthday sitting right here.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Brot to this. Sorry, like the other people that are
like one thing that we do every every trip and
the other ones have been in Miami and as you
guys know, we go strip clubbing out there, and so
one of the nights we're like, well, is there a
strip club around here? I've never been to a strip
club in Mexico before. Okay, okay, so.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I didn't think.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I don't even know what to expect. Pardon me. I
would also would have been okay not not doing that,
just because we had so much fun in Miami. I
was like, it's just not going to compare, right, And
so we come walking out of one club and what
do you know, there's one person's like, hey, you ready
for the after party, and it's it's for a strip club.
So we're like, yeah, actually we are ready for that.
(04:37):
We go in there. Oh my god, it was the worst.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
There's a donkey.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
No, it wasn't a donkey show.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
Wow, that's a stereotype that there's donkeys and no, there are.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
There are, there are shows.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
I wasn't talking about live animal. I was talking about.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Me and jets are gross.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
We were thinking, I'm kidding, No, is that not a
real thing.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I mean, there's donkeys.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
There are donkey shows. It's the thing. I have a
buddy that's been to one.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Well, there, I know there are donkeys. I didn't know
there was donkey shows.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
It sounds like she don't know what the donkey show is.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Wait, we're talking about something different.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
We're talking about a thing that happens at a strip club,
a very particular show.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Oh I didn't know that. What a donkey show?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
You've never heard of it.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
I've never heard of a donkey show.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
And let Selena continue her story. You hop on urban
Dictionary and type in donkey show.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
Oh my, okay, my guys just look at it, like, guys,
it's such a sweet kid over here.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
She's over here about to accuse me.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
What is a donkey show in Mexico?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Yeah, she's about to accuse me of culture appropriation or something.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
You want to like, finish right, And I was like, what,
I don't want to finish my story because she has
a look on her face like you're reading read it
out loud? What does it say?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
It was a AI overview, so.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
AI mostly refers to a persistent urban legend about it.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It's not in her we're legend.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Wait, a live adult show involving best reality.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yes, that's so gross.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And like the donkey did the donkey looked pretty happy?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I did, Yes, sing, I'm traumatized. You haven't even been
to one I know, and I'm already traumatized.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
She's like, that's not a thing, that's a myth.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Who was the first person that's like, you know what
I should?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
You should you know what I should bring into my
performance the next night at the Rusty Beaver Club, I'm
going to bring it down to donkey.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
No. So thankfully this wasn't that. This is just a
little word on the cancoon, like a little strip there
with all the bars and stuff. So we go up
to this strip club and we walk in there and
it was so fucking dead. First of all, we were
we were the only people in there.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
What time was this?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
This is like I want to say, like two o'clock
in the morning, one or two o'clock in the morning.
It was so fucking Maybe when we were leaving, there
was a few more people that kind of made their
way in there, but it was so fun.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Was it like still a weekday or uh.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I want no, I want to say, this was uh
Friday night. Oh okay, I don't know. Maybe everyone just
knows not to go in there because it was some
fucking bullshit. Okay, it was. It was dead as fuck.
And then we go in there and then it's it's Mexico,
so I don't know what we were expecting. But because
it's like they don't have ones for us to throw,
so we're like do we throw coin vessels? Like like
(07:24):
what do we do? Like what do we do? Turns
out you can't throw money at all. You cannot give
them money, like they're not allowed to touch money.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
What's the point.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
So we're like asking how it worked, and they said,
it's fifty dollars. Fifty US dollars for one ten minute dance.
That's some fucking bullshit, okay, And then but I'm like, whatever,
it's my man's birthday, so I went and I picked
out a girl for him anyways, and whatever, I got
him a dance and then yeah, he tried to give
(07:55):
her the money, and the guy working there came up
and was like, oh no, no, we take them. So
like they like, who knows how much money these girls
are even making, you know, if anything, And they looked
like they didn't even want to fucking be there. Like
we walked in and they were like sitting around on
their phone.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
And Selena's not going to be investigated because this is
a poor tiger.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It was like they were probably this is probably like
some force work or something or something like they didn't
want to be there. They're like sitting around, like didn't
they like they got up and dance, but you can't
throw money. They they also didn't. They also weren't they
didn't get They didn't like take the clothes off at all.
Were they wearing like bikinis or you know whatever. But
(08:37):
we saw that and we're like, oh, no, we don't
belong here. They don't even get naked.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Show turn everyone to get out of here. Does nothing.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Thing was just really fucking weird.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
And kind of sad. Major buzzkill, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
And it was, Yeah, it was just it was, I
don't know, just a bunch of weird shit going on there.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
You want to be able to throw money one, but
also have the feeling that the strippers actually they're having fun.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yes, they're like taking money, yes, all of that. It
was just it was so weird in there, Oh my god.
And so like after we left, after that, we were
there for like fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
What does a lapper cost in Miami?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
However much you want, as long as you're giving ones,
they'll keep dancing.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Because I feel like some places like Vegas and stuff.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
It can be an expensive oh like a private dance
or like or how that.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Or any kind of lap dance. Some places are not.
I mean, fifty dollars isn't out of the really.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I mean in Miami, as long as you have your
thrown ones, I mean they're gonna be They're going to
be around you dancing to get to get money.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
So it's not like you like a price, like a
paid fixed price.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
A lot of places have separate transaction prices stage dance.
You're throwing ones if you want a lap dance.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
But I've gotten dances in Vegas and they it wasn't
a fixed price. You just give them whatever the fuck
you want.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
You're a lady.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh maybe really so guys have to.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Want to come out on the micro two for what?
You get a two for what? Lap has two songs?
Right now? You get two songs? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Interesting because it's there's a sat literally DJs all.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Do it in Spanish for the Mexican.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, old, what.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Like two for one dose.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Kiyota, you know what I mean? And he's like a
full I need like a full script there and I
can do the I could do. I could do the
full thing.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Also to be a couple of beverages before my Spanish
really emerges. It's been a hibernation for the Okay, so
you guys didn't and then you didn't find another place
that was like never going back to a Mexic strip club.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Mexican.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, after that we were just like over it, like no,
it's just it's probably like that at every strip club there,
you know what I mean. So I don't know, we
just it's whatever, No, nothing.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Avoid the camcuon strip class. Yeah, is Selena's travel advice.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yes, that is my travel advice.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Can I share some good news?
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yes, the man with the world's smallest penis we talked
about a bunch of the well thoughts. He has raised
enough money in his gofund.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
This is it one of your friends from Herbert camp
to get Yes, right.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
We talked about it, right, We talked about it around
the campfire this past weekend. And you guys, he is
just days away from getting his life changing surgery.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
And he said, good, make it how big?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I don't know what the event, try to know what
it's going to become.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Well, it's point three eight of a nance right now.
So I think if that'll take anything, it said. The
surgery was supposed to be around six thousand dollars, and
his GoFundMe raised a little over thirteen thousand dollars. I
kind of thought more people would donate. I thought so too,
just not just for the surgery, but also just because
they feel bad for it, you know, like right, feel
bad for everything he went to. Let's see, he will
(11:57):
get an injection of semi permanent dermal filler, which will
increase the girth of his penis by about ten to
thirty percent, so he might get up to an inch
and a half at best case scenario.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
They're just putting filler in there. I thought they could
like do something a little more.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Wait, sorry, serious, But his appointment scheduled for August seventeenth
with a doctor in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
So there you go.
Speaker 5 (12:21):
Interesting, don't they have to keep Like when you get filler,
you have to keep going to get it?
Speaker 4 (12:26):
Is?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Is he going to have to keep going?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Hopefully it's like going to the Real Housewives and their
lip filler over the seasons just gets bigger and bigger.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Maybe his will just keep applying.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Maybe he'll just keep like lengthen or lengthening, and years
from now we'll be talking about him having a two point.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Two incherre you know, Oh my god, it should be a.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Dramatic increase from the create of an inch he's packing
right now anyways, But that's good news.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Aboy comes out and says, so, like, how big exactly?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
You know?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Because I just, you know, I'm just add curiosity. I
just I do want to know.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, I feel like they can't do.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Too much at once, if anything's gonna have to be
a gradual increase, probably right.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yeahles skins pretty stretchy down there.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
What if it just migrates like to his nuts and
then like you just got these massive.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Underwear eggs just get bigger. That's a chance he's willing
to take, for sure.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yes, Can I can we go back to strip club
talk really quick? Yeah, Jess, would you be cool with
your man getting a lap dance for his birthday?
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Like if it like if I was there, Yes, I
think if I was there, I would be more okay
with it than if I wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Okay, Yeah, I feel like that's most I feel like
that's most ladies, because.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Then you're like seeing it and you're like in the
you're in the experience.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Would Kate ever let you Graham? Nope, even if she
was there.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I don't think that that would be her thing.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah, old she would she ever go to his strip club?
No lap dances, just strip club just for fun.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I don't know that would really be your thing.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I can't imagine Kate in there. Maybe I don't feel
like that's her thing.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
It would be not be. It would not be the
place I would suggest, like, hey, do you want to
go here? I wouldn't suggest that. But don't cry for me.
I've had I've had plenty. You had strip club fun
in my past life.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
We have to get Jessin Ruben into a strip club?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Would your wife let you go? If it was like
like a show thing, like a JB show strip club night, like.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
They put on a show. Yes, they do put on
a show.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
But I met like, Hey, we're gonna we want Justsin
Ruben to go for their first time maybe after they
get married or pre married, pre wedding activities or something.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, she's busy that day.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Oh damn A. So that means you're busy.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
We went to mool On Rouge when we were in Paris,
and you know, here's Kate thinking that it's like some
iconic show that you got to go see.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
It's just all boobs? Is the entire show is all boobs?
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Like there would be like there's like fifty chicks on stage,
all topless.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
It's just all boobs.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
And she didn't like it.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Well, it's not that she didn't like it, but I
don't think she thought. I think she thought, you know,
we were seeing some kind of musical or something. Yeah,
there's some song and dance or whatever, but it's just
all boobs.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Wait, so what do they do?
Speaker 2 (14:57):
They just show their boobs.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
It's all boobs.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I don't remember.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
They could have been singing, they could have been dancing.
It's probably a lot of choreography. I don't remember that
because it's all boobs.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I think that was as close as we'll ever get
to a stroke club.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Oh my gosh, I never knew that. I don't that
name mulan Uge or whatever.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yeah, iconic, I mean it's an iconic show.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Wait, but is it like remember Megan the Stallion had
a role in the one, not in Paris but in
New York. Remember she was like the Zibbler or something.
Like that weird is that one the same? Like it
was just all boobs. I was under the impression that, yeah,
it's a show, it's a musical.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
It's I mean the original ones, like like you're at
your table, they're serving you drinks and stuff, and like
it's dimly lit, and then it's just all boobs.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Wow, my gosh, was having the time of his life.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
I was thank you Kate for these tickets in advance.
You know that thing sells out. You know it's a
long line to get in there.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Accident had no idea, Yeah, she had no.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
You and her Yeah, but highly recommend the Mulin rush.
I would like you ever find yourself in Paris, just
mosey on over there.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Okay, all right, we have to wrap this because I
don't know if you know. Yeah, I'm fucking concussing over here.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Do you remember anything we even talked about on this podcast?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Not nice? I don't know what She's like, I can't
even talk. She's like, are you getting brighter?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Like yeah, don't you remember you just asked that question
like two minutes ago.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Shut then up.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah. She is like Dory from Finding Email and you're.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Like lights getting brighter.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Also, you're like rocking back and forth in a really
weak Wow, that's what.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
It feels like. I honestly feel like shouldn't be driving, Like,
why is your twitching to stop?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Do you have you noticed that? Most of the show
today she was drooling a little bit.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Of Oh yeah, I didn't want to say anything though.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Lights getting brighter in here, Yeah, they are all right?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Well yeah, anyways, I'm gonna go take a four hour
nap please By
Jess is not look amused to be having to record
a while Thoughts podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Yeah wow, we are you so slunk down your seat.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Tuesdays are so bad, like Tuesday is just Tuesdays are
ruining my life.
Speaker 4 (00:12):
I thought i'd have more energy this morning because I
slept for my one hour commute. I slept the entire
time while I was driving. But it wasn't that RESTful sleep,
you know what I mean. It's like fucking people kept
honking at me and shit, and then I started like
all these sparks were flying when my car was like
scraping against the center divide, and it's just like it
wasn't RESTful sleep.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I can't wait till like I can get picked up
from some you know, and something like a way Mo,
like once I trust them more to drive on the freeway,
and once it's more affordable, so I could just get
an extra forty minutes to sleep every morning, that would
be nice.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
We're not far from your own personal car being allowed
to drive fully autonomous.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
That's what I fucking need.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I want that because right now it's like you see
the videos of people shaming other people, like look they're
asleep behind the wheel, that there Tesla, like, I don't care.
That thing probably drives better than they do. And I
want to be the person asleep behind the wheel, but
I want to be laying down like in the back seat, like, yeah,
you know what.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Lottery so we don't have to actually come into work.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
There's also get your mega millions power ball whatever tomorrow
nine and seventy five million, almost a billion.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
And we are kicking off this wild That's podcast with the.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Talk back's play your favorite game?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
And Selena wasn't for birthday?
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Did Selena feel it for that voucher?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Okay, a little hard to hear, confused a little hard
to hear.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
But he's talking about your recent trip to Cancun and
it was for your man's birthday.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, and so I think you wanted to ask.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Did Selena feel it for the voucher? That wasn't worded right?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Yeah, but what was where the voucher cash?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
There was no voucher cash?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Is what I mean to tell me? You went all
the way to fucking can come for a birthday and
you did you didn't and he my boy didn't catch
a voucher.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
That's criminal, he did it.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I mean like there was other things that happened, but
not not the voucher. And and honestly, we were We
were so drunk most of the time that like, no excuses,
no regards, And if he if he would have presented
the voucher, I would have had no choice to fill it.
Do you know what I mean? I shouldn't, Like I
didn't remind him.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Did he have his laminated and you found it later?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I think he forgot to pack it.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Oh no, because you guys had such an amazing trip.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
If he comes to you like a week later and
he's like, hey, you know I already told him.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I already told him that he can still redeem, redeem Okay, really, yeah,
I did tell him that, but I couldn't last night
either because I mean, I don't know if you guys
know this or not, but I'm kind of fucking concussing
over here. I'm just not really feeling like fulfilling any
vouchers right now.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
C walk it off. You'll be fun. C. We won't
know until we can examine your brain.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I don't feel right, I know that much. I don't
fucking feel right.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Okay, So once you're feeling right, you're not going to
make him wait all the way till next year on
his birthday to cash the Volchuer you expire.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
There is an exporation.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
No, but this is a special circumstance I think, or
he can still redeem.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Is it like a buy one, get one free?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
What kind of No, I'm not doing a two for
not No, not at all.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Well that's fair, but good on you to still honor
it being past the expiration day.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah, this one time only Okay, one time.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Was like a trip thing and a thing.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Yeah, and we were too drunks, and yeah, you have
a medical note that helps you.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Have a doctor's note.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, that does make it worthwhile.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Is there anything from your cancuon trip that needs to
be discussed in the wild thoughts?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yes, we went to one thing about like our August trip,
because it's not just my man's birthday. We're there with
like two or three of the people that also have
August birthdays.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
So some other dudes, some other dude that has an
August birthday sitting right here.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Brot to this. Sorry, like the other people that are
like one thing that we do every every trip and
the other ones have been in Miami and as you
guys know, we go strip clubbing out there, and so
one of the nights we're like, well, is there a
strip club around here? I've never been to a strip
club in Mexico before. Okay, okay, so.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I didn't think.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I don't even know what to expect. Pardon me. I
would also would have been okay not not doing that,
just because we had so much fun in Miami. I
was like, it's just not going to compare, right, And
so we come walking out of one club and what
do you know, there's one person's like, hey, you ready
for the after party, and it's it's for a strip club.
So we're like, yeah, actually we are ready for that.
(04:37):
We go in there. Oh my god, it was the worst.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
There's a donkey.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
No, it wasn't a donkey show.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
Wow, that's a stereotype that there's donkeys and no, there are.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
There are, there are shows.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
I wasn't talking about live animal. I was talking about.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Me and jets are gross.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
We were thinking, I'm kidding, No, is that not a
real thing.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I mean, there's donkeys.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
There are donkey shows. It's the thing. I have a
buddy that's been to one.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Well, there, I know there are donkeys. I didn't know
there was donkey shows.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
It sounds like she don't know what the donkey show is.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Wait, we're talking about something different.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
We're talking about a thing that happens at a strip club,
a very particular show.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Oh I didn't know that. What a donkey show?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
You've never heard of it.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
I've never heard of a donkey show.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
And let Selena continue her story. You hop on urban
Dictionary and type in donkey show.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
Oh my, okay, my guys just look at it, like, guys,
it's such a sweet kid over here.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
She's over here about to accuse me.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
What is a donkey show in Mexico?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Yeah, she's about to accuse me of culture appropriation or something.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
You want to like, finish right, And I was like, what,
I don't want to finish my story because she has
a look on her face like you're reading read it
out loud? What does it say?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
It was a AI overview, so.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
AI mostly refers to a persistent urban legend about it.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It's not in her we're legend.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Wait, a live adult show involving best reality.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yes, that's so gross.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And like the donkey did the donkey looked pretty happy?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I did, Yes, sing, I'm traumatized. You haven't even been
to one I know, and I'm already traumatized.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
She's like, that's not a thing, that's a myth.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Who was the first person that's like, you know what
I should?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
You should you know what I should bring into my
performance the next night at the Rusty Beaver Club, I'm
going to bring it down to donkey.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
No. So thankfully this wasn't that. This is just a
little word on the cancoon, like a little strip there
with all the bars and stuff. So we go up
to this strip club and we walk in there and
it was so fucking dead. First of all, we were
we were the only people in there.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
What time was this?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
This is like I want to say, like two o'clock
in the morning, one or two o'clock in the morning.
It was so fucking Maybe when we were leaving, there
was a few more people that kind of made their
way in there, but it was so fun.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Was it like still a weekday or uh.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I want no, I want to say, this was uh
Friday night. Oh okay, I don't know. Maybe everyone just
knows not to go in there because it was some
fucking bullshit. Okay, it was. It was dead as fuck.
And then we go in there and then it's it's Mexico,
so I don't know what we were expecting. But because
it's like they don't have ones for us to throw,
so we're like do we throw coin vessels? Like like
(07:24):
what do we do? Like what do we do? Turns
out you can't throw money at all. You cannot give
them money, like they're not allowed to touch money.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
What's the point.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
So we're like asking how it worked, and they said,
it's fifty dollars. Fifty US dollars for one ten minute dance.
That's some fucking bullshit, okay, And then but I'm like, whatever,
it's my man's birthday, so I went and I picked
out a girl for him anyways, and whatever, I got
him a dance and then yeah, he tried to give
(07:55):
her the money, and the guy working there came up
and was like, oh no, no, we take them. So
like they like, who knows how much money these girls
are even making, you know, if anything, And they looked
like they didn't even want to fucking be there. Like
we walked in and they were like sitting around on
their phone.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
And Selena's not going to be investigated because this is
a poor tiger.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It was like they were probably this is probably like
some force work or something or something like they didn't
want to be there. They're like sitting around, like didn't
they like they got up and dance, but you can't
throw money. They they also didn't. They also weren't they
didn't get They didn't like take the clothes off at all.
Were they wearing like bikinis or you know whatever. But
(08:37):
we saw that and we're like, oh, no, we don't
belong here. They don't even get naked.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Show turn everyone to get out of here. Does nothing.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Thing was just really fucking weird.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
And kind of sad. Major buzzkill, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
And it was, Yeah, it was just it was, I
don't know, just a bunch of weird shit going on there.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
You want to be able to throw money one, but
also have the feeling that the strippers actually they're having fun.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yes, they're like taking money, yes, all of that. It
was just it was so weird in there, Oh my god.
And so like after we left, after that, we were
there for like fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
What does a lapper cost in Miami?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
However much you want, as long as you're giving ones,
they'll keep dancing.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Because I feel like some places like Vegas and stuff.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
It can be an expensive oh like a private dance
or like or how that.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Or any kind of lap dance. Some places are not.
I mean, fifty dollars isn't out of the really.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I mean in Miami, as long as you have your
thrown ones, I mean they're gonna be They're going to
be around you dancing to get to get money.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
So it's not like you like a price, like a
paid fixed price.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
A lot of places have separate transaction prices stage dance.
You're throwing ones if you want a lap dance.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
But I've gotten dances in Vegas and they it wasn't
a fixed price. You just give them whatever the fuck
you want.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
You're a lady.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh maybe really so guys have to.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Want to come out on the micro two for what?
You get a two for what? Lap has two songs?
Right now? You get two songs? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Interesting because it's there's a sat literally DJs all.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Do it in Spanish for the Mexican.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, old, what.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Like two for one dose.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Kiyota, you know what I mean? And he's like a
full I need like a full script there and I
can do the I could do. I could do the
full thing.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Also to be a couple of beverages before my Spanish
really emerges. It's been a hibernation for the Okay, so
you guys didn't and then you didn't find another place
that was like never going back to a Mexic strip club.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Mexican.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, after that we were just like over it, like no,
it's just it's probably like that at every strip club there,
you know what I mean. So I don't know, we
just it's whatever, No, nothing.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Avoid the camcuon strip class. Yeah, is Selena's travel advice.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yes, that is my travel advice.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Can I share some good news?
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yes, the man with the world's smallest penis we talked
about a bunch of the well thoughts. He has raised
enough money in his gofund.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
This is it one of your friends from Herbert camp
to get Yes, right.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
We talked about it, right, We talked about it around
the campfire this past weekend. And you guys, he is
just days away from getting his life changing surgery.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
And he said, good, make it how big?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I don't know what the event, try to know what
it's going to become.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Well, it's point three eight of a nance right now.
So I think if that'll take anything, it said. The
surgery was supposed to be around six thousand dollars, and
his GoFundMe raised a little over thirteen thousand dollars. I
kind of thought more people would donate. I thought so too,
just not just for the surgery, but also just because
they feel bad for it, you know, like right, feel
bad for everything he went to. Let's see, he will
(11:57):
get an injection of semi permanent dermal filler, which will
increase the girth of his penis by about ten to
thirty percent, so he might get up to an inch
and a half at best case scenario.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
They're just putting filler in there. I thought they could
like do something a little more.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Wait, sorry, serious, But his appointment scheduled for August seventeenth
with a doctor in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
So there you go.
Speaker 5 (12:21):
Interesting, don't they have to keep Like when you get filler,
you have to keep going to get it?
Speaker 4 (12:26):
Is?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Is he going to have to keep going?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Hopefully it's like going to the Real Housewives and their
lip filler over the seasons just gets bigger and bigger.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Maybe his will just keep applying.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Maybe he'll just keep like lengthen or lengthening, and years
from now we'll be talking about him having a two point.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Two incherre you know, Oh my god, it should be a.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Dramatic increase from the create of an inch he's packing
right now anyways, But that's good news.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Aboy comes out and says, so, like, how big exactly?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
You know?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Because I just, you know, I'm just add curiosity. I
just I do want to know.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, I feel like they can't do.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Too much at once, if anything's gonna have to be
a gradual increase, probably right.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yeahles skins pretty stretchy down there.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
What if it just migrates like to his nuts and
then like you just got these massive.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Underwear eggs just get bigger. That's a chance he's willing
to take, for sure.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yes, Can I can we go back to strip club
talk really quick? Yeah, Jess, would you be cool with
your man getting a lap dance for his birthday?
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Like if it like if I was there, Yes, I
think if I was there, I would be more okay
with it than if I wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Okay, Yeah, I feel like that's most I feel like
that's most ladies, because.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Then you're like seeing it and you're like in the
you're in the experience.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Would Kate ever let you Graham? Nope, even if she
was there.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I don't think that that would be her thing.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah, old she would she ever go to his strip club?
No lap dances, just strip club just for fun.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I don't know that would really be your thing.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I can't imagine Kate in there. Maybe I don't feel
like that's her thing.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
It would be not be. It would not be the
place I would suggest, like, hey, do you want to
go here? I wouldn't suggest that. But don't cry for me.
I've had I've had plenty. You had strip club fun
in my past life.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
We have to get Jessin Ruben into a strip club?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Would your wife let you go? If it was like
like a show thing, like a JB show strip club night, like.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
They put on a show. Yes, they do put on
a show.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
But I met like, Hey, we're gonna we want Justsin
Ruben to go for their first time maybe after they
get married or pre married, pre wedding activities or something.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, she's busy that day.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Oh damn A. So that means you're busy.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
We went to mool On Rouge when we were in Paris,
and you know, here's Kate thinking that it's like some
iconic show that you got to go see.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
It's just all boobs? Is the entire show is all boobs?
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Like there would be like there's like fifty chicks on stage,
all topless.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
It's just all boobs.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
And she didn't like it.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Well, it's not that she didn't like it, but I
don't think she thought. I think she thought, you know,
we were seeing some kind of musical or something. Yeah,
there's some song and dance or whatever, but it's just
all boobs.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Wait, so what do they do?
Speaker 2 (14:57):
They just show their boobs.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
It's all boobs.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I don't remember.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
They could have been singing, they could have been dancing.
It's probably a lot of choreography. I don't remember that
because it's all boobs.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I think that was as close as we'll ever get
to a stroke club.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Oh my gosh, I never knew that. I don't that
name mulan Uge or whatever.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yeah, iconic, I mean it's an iconic show.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Wait, but is it like remember Megan the Stallion had
a role in the one, not in Paris but in
New York. Remember she was like the Zibbler or something.
Like that weird is that one the same? Like it
was just all boobs. I was under the impression that, yeah,
it's a show, it's a musical.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
It's I mean the original ones, like like you're at
your table, they're serving you drinks and stuff, and like
it's dimly lit, and then it's just all boobs.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Wow, my gosh, was having the time of his life.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
I was thank you Kate for these tickets in advance.
You know that thing sells out. You know it's a
long line to get in there.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Accident had no idea, Yeah, she had no.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
You and her Yeah, but highly recommend the Mulin rush.
I would like you ever find yourself in Paris, just
mosey on over there.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Okay, all right, we have to wrap this because I
don't know if you know. Yeah, I'm fucking concussing over here.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Do you remember anything we even talked about on this podcast?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Not nice? I don't know what She's like, I can't
even talk. She's like, are you getting brighter?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Like yeah, don't you remember you just asked that question
like two minutes ago.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Shut then up.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah. She is like Dory from Finding Email and you're.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Like lights getting brighter.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Also, you're like rocking back and forth in a really
weak Wow, that's what.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
It feels like. I honestly feel like shouldn't be driving, Like,
why is your twitching to stop?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Do you have you noticed that? Most of the show
today she was drooling a little bit.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Of Oh yeah, I didn't want to say anything though.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Lights getting brighter in here, Yeah, they are all right?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Well yeah, anyways, I'm gonna go take a four hour
nap please By
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