Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time to Catch a Cheater on the Jubile Show.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And Sarah is on the phone today for to catch
a cheater and she thinks that her fiance of a
year might be cheating on her. Hopefully not, but we'll
see if we can help her out. Sarah, why do
you think that your fiance hire m is cheating on.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
You because she's been eating all the potatoes in our pantry? Why?
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Why would that make you think he's cheating? Isn't that
good the potatoes good for you?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
What does that mean? What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Well, okay, let me explain, because I know it seems
really crazy, but basically.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We're really committed. We've been together for two years and
we're saving ourselves for marriage.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
But you know, obviously we're attracted to each other, we
care about each other.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
But when we the urges get too intent, we do
different things to like calm it down.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
And he eats a potato.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
That's how he calms his urges.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, and he eats it like straight out of the pantry,
like an apple cooking. It just eats it raw.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
No, I would definitely take my mind off of it.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah, that's an interesting way to deal with the urges,
I guess if it works for him, And it works
for him, and so he's been eating more of the
potatoes to deal with his sensual urges. And okay, and
that's why you think.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Netflix and chilling or you know, like it'll be a
weekend and obviously he'll eat a potato.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
But lately the.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Potatoes have gone missing throughout the week and he's been
staying at work longer, and then more potatoes are missing.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Like normally it's been like, okay, on the weekend, a
couple of potatoes, but I have not it's gone to
the point where he's eating a potato.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
But doesn't Does that mean he wants you? Yeah, like
he's not acting on anything.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Well yeah, but the way I'm trying to explain it
is like he usually like I don't know, like second base,
it's I don't know, it's kind of like talk about.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
It like that, but like then he'll go eat a
potato right when you like after.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Work every day, it's like I was just like checking
the mail and you know, taking a shower and not
anything like that would cause him to have.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
The usual urge because it's out.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Of the patterns like start so why would he have
those urges when he's getting home from work?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Basically, yeah, is the usual? Yeah, I see.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Okay, well, we'll see if we can figure it out
for you. You already told us what grocery store he's a
rewards card member at, So we'll play a song come back,
and then pretend to be from the grocery store and
say that he's this month lucky winner of free flowers
delivered from our Florida department, and we'll see he sends
those to you or to somebody else.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Okay, okay, all right, we'll get her to catch theeter.
Next it's the Jubile Show. It's time to Catch a Cheater.
Only on the Jubile Show.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Right in the middle of to Catch a Teeter and
if you're just joining us, Sarah is on the phone,
and Sarah thinks that her fiance of a year might
be cheating. So we're about to call him and pretend
to be from the grocery store that he's a rewards
cardmember at and tell him that he's this month's lucky
winner of free flowers delivered from our floor apartment, and
we'll see if he sends those flowers to his fiance, Sarah,
(03:32):
or to somebody else. But before we do that, Sarah,
why don't you refresh our memory on why you think
Hiram might be cheating?
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Okay, So I thought we were very inlive.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I still think we are, and because of our belief,
we're saving ourselves for marriage. And so when you know,
things get a little too hot and heavy, he goes
in to control the urges. He eats a potato raw Okay,
and now it's just.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Been business as usual.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
He gets from work and more potatoes have gone, but
without kind of us kissing or being intimate.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And so you're fearful that he might be doing something
with somebody while he's gone and then comes back and
has to her. Just so eats potato as soon as
he gets back to deal with it.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yes, I really, because all the potatoes are dwindling a
lot faster than they used to.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Okay, got to start. Well, here we go.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
We're gonna call him right now and try to figure
it out for you. Okay, okay, Okay, here we go. Hello, Hi,
this is Durable calling from grocers. I was looking for
our rewards card. Remember named Hiram?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah, this is him? How can I help you.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Hi, Hiram, Please don't hang up. This is not a
marketing phone call. I'm actually calling with good news. Congratulations
that you're this month's winter Hey, we're clapping for you
and everything. Thank you very much for shopping with us.
Congratulations would oh well, I don't know if you know.
This is not about Every single month we one Rewards
card member who gets a free gift from us, and
this month it's flowers delivered from our floral department, absolutely
(05:05):
free to anybody that you want. You've won thirty six
long stem red roses, a box of candy or chocolate,
and a card to be delivered to anybody absolutely free, okay,
And I will not ask you for any kind of
credit card information, nothing like that. You'll get confirmations before
we've been off the phone. And it works very easy.
I can take down the information over the phone in
just a few minutes. I can do that right now.
(05:26):
If you know who you want to send them to.
I can also call you back, or you can come
down to the store, whatever is easiest.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
Yeah, you can send them to uh Sarah.
Speaker 6 (05:36):
Um.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
You don't need to add a card or anything. No,
just the flowers are cool. Okay. So Sarah.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Okay, well this is awkward.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Hiram, Hey, Hiram, that's that's Sarah on the phone.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
This is actually a radio show. It's called The Jewbell Show.
Hi am Nina, Hi, I am Victorian. Yeah, and my
name is Jewbell.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
And that's your f say Sarah, who I imagine you
were sending the flowers to.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Yeah, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Well, we do a segment on the show that's called
to Catch a Cheater, where if you think your significant
other might be cheating on you, you see if you
can catch them based on who they send flowers to.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
And so that's why Sarah's on the phone. Uh so
do you think of cheating on you?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Well? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
I mean, you know, like it used to just be
like one or two potatoes a week, and now you're
eating more and more potatoes.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
And it's just after work. It's not like when you
usually eat potatoes.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeahm Sarah's been concerned because, you know, she was telling
us about how you guys both do things to calm
your urges, and she feels like, if you've been eating
a bunch of potatoes when you get home from work,
are you doing something with somebody else that makes you
think about that, So when you get home, you've got
to calm those urges, you know what I mean, No.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Not at all. And you know, if it was bothering you,
you should have said something.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Why. I just don't understand, Like I don't want you
to be cheating, but I also know that that's how
you control your urges is to eat potatoes. And all
these potatoes are missing, and.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
It's just a why are you getting home and eating
so many potatoes? And why are you having urges when
you're not around me?
Speaker 5 (07:27):
Well, baby, you know how I started, like the woodworking classes,
and you know, I've been going to the space after work,
you know where I rent the workshop time.
Speaker 6 (07:36):
You know, and so this is like the weird part.
But like a couple of months ago, I noticed that
it turned me off.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
So are you saying okay?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
So you're saying putting the like the rubber ends of
on legs and the things in your woodworking is making
you think about those thoughts interest that make you yes, okay.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
And then from there, I got to eat a raw potato.
You know, I know it super weird?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Okay, Uh yeah, that I mean it sounds a little
interesting to me.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I've I'm sorry, I'm laughing. I've never heard this before.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
What are you trying to say? That you're getting turned
on by rubber and shared and woodworking.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
I mean, yes, And I realized that it's very strange.
And when I realized how strange it was, I immediately started saying,
that doctor about it.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Okay, well, why didn't you tell me anything about it?
Speaker 5 (08:40):
I mean, it's kind of weird and embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
So you've you've been going to like a therapist to
deal with your attraction.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
To those things.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
I guess, well, I talked to a doctor, and so
the doctor did a bunch of tests and in terms
out I have a condition called Clover Boosey syndrome, and
it causes this attraction to unusual objects and like situations.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
You know.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Yeah, the doc said, some individuals may develop paraphyletic interests,
you know, like fetish or attraction to non human objects
like okay, potatoes.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
But I'm sorry, I'm so confused.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
This is I swear to you that this is a
real thing. I mean, I can get the doctor to
talk to you on the phone if you want, you know,
and I'll explain it to you.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Okay, babe, I am so sorry. I wish you would
have told me about that.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
I know, I wanted to talk to you about what
I thought you'd be worried about me developing like strange
attractions like inanimate objects.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, I mean we at least you know he's not
cheating Sarah. You're still attracted to Sarah though, right?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Oh boy, yes, I am Okay, okay, okay, that's good.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Okay, wait, wait, this is all kind of a lot
to me. But just a second ago, you said that
because of this condition, you could develop and attraction to potatoes.
Have you been doing, like, you know, things with potatoes.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
I mean, is it still considered cheating if it's what?
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Oh my gosh, okay, oh my god, wait.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
What I'm joking.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
I'm joking.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I'm joking.
Speaker 6 (10:36):
I'm joking.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Everybody, everybody, including your fiance, was like, oh my god,
he just admitted that he's doing stuff to potatoes.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Could you imagine you're being cheated on with potato? Okay, well, Sara,
at least you know that he's not cheating on. I mean,
this has gone.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
From I was worried to he cheating, then I'm worried
about a medical munition.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
And now I'm worried that he's been.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Weird with potatoes.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
I mean it was That's a terrible joke.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Im the Jubile shows to catch a cheater.