April 15, 2026 • 6 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What, Susan.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'm a therapist and I've worked with couples specifically, and
I had a comment to make about that lady who
called in and said that she likes massash her husbands
seat every night. And then that other lady called in
and was super judgmental about it and was like, oh,
I don't think that. She kind of alluded to it
(00:21):
not being like a healthy relationship, and as a therapist,
that is actually very healthy.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
So every night when my husband gets home, I'm massage's feet,
full routine, oil, scrubs, towels. I've probably spent like two
hundred dollars on foot products just for him. You know,
I don't care if you just got home from the
gym and he's sweaty whatever. I'm still down like it's
like one of my favorite parts of the day. And
he'll just sit there and relax and I'm you know,
(00:49):
I'm like, tell me about your day and massage in
his feet.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Julie, what's up? You're on the air, what's up?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Why are you down there every single night like you're
a footspa. I want to do it. It relaxes him.
He works all day, and I like it.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Girl, You're like running a nightly foot service subscription plan
or something. I don't get it.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
No, No, I've created a routine that we both enjoy
and it's it's nice. I'm doing something nice and sweet
for my husband, and you're making it sound like it's embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So a couple points to make is that you guys
know John Gotman. He's like a very renowned like couple therapists,
done thousands of So yes I do.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I've been many.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
I've been a couple therapy where the Gotlin theory comes
up a lot, a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
He's like, he's like the guy, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
So based on his theory, right, he studied all these
thousands of couples, What that couple is doing is called rituals, right,
an active rituals. I don't know the exact term, I
can't remember, but essentially it's finding rituals in your day
to connect with one another, spend quality time with one another.
You basically reduce your risk of unhealthy relationship patterns and
(02:02):
divorced by like a ton like exponentially. So another thing
is that she doesn't feel forced and that this is
her choice to do this, and so it'd be different
if the husband was like demanding it right then that
would become unhealthy. But because she's doing it on her
own volition and she's saying, hey, this is the way
(02:23):
that I show appreciation and love, which is another key
important thing about healthy couples. It's finding ways to show
appreciation and love to your partner. So that lady that
calls in was like being very judgmental. I would encourage
her to look at how healthy couples operate, and that
(02:44):
that woman calling in is extremely healthy, and I'm sure
they have a very loving and healthy marriage.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Isn't there something else that like Gottman's got some famous stuff.
Is he the one has the six second kiss or
the hug?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I can't remember me. I'm not sure, but I use
Gottman in my work with couples. I also use a
lot of other series as well. But I love Gotman
for like teaching skills, because they're very skills space and
a lot of couples they might love each other a lot,
but they lack a lot of skills to facilitate that
loving relationship. And so it's about building admiration and connection
(03:22):
with your loved one, and like a love story that's
just unique to the both of you.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
It's worth it googling him.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
My wife and I've been through several sessions of marriage
counseling and he comes up a lot.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
He's really good.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Yeah, it was interesting. I want to ask you this, Susan.
I was well.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
I was at breakfast with one of my buddies over
the weekend. His name is Ken, and he was smiling
when I was kind of talking about, you know, my
wife's stacy, and he's like, do you know what they say?
The number one thing that I hear you talk about
is for couples to stay together.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
He said.
Speaker 6 (03:53):
It's not just you know, compromise and all that. It's
like you think your spouse is awesome. You say that's
the number one thing that keeps people together. And that
was really cool to hear.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
I like the thing too where it's like you have
to love your person in their love language, like Ken.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Never heard you talk about Ken?
Speaker 5 (04:09):
You know Ken, Ken Cummings. No, not that Ken does.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I would get ad nice in that guy.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I mean I love Ken Cummings, but I don't think
he's the relationship girls.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Karen's husband Ken, Oh love with him with Breakfast? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Yeah, I think I feel I've heard all your friends,
but not Ken.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Rich has so many friends, he probably has eight Ken's
in his life.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
I got a few, actually got you.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
But anyway, Ken says, find your spouse to be awesome,
and that is the number one factor of a happy marriage.
Not just a marriage'll last, but a happy marriage.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I was just talking to his wife yesterday. Yeah all right, Susan,
thank you so much. But go ahead, go ahead, No, no,
you had more.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I was gonna say that Rich is totally right with
his friend Ken, whoever it is. That's not true admiration
for yourself. So not just not just oh I like
them because they do stuff for me, but just appreciating
them as the person. So I hear Peyton say this
all the time about Kadeem her husband now where she's like,
(05:11):
I just love him for him, or you know the
comments that she makes. And so all of you sound
like you have very healthy relationships with your spouses. So
that's a good indicator that you have healthy and happy marriages.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
What's fun fact about ten Ken? Has you spelled his
name with two ends? Isn't that weird? Like I can't
get over yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
So one more thing, a topics I do want to say,
is I was the one that called in like maybe
a year and a half ago about how I cooped
on my own engagement with my ex husband.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Well, now you just ruined yourself as a therapist.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah right, but I'm in a very healthy, happy marriage.
Now we have cool children.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Oh great.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
So I just I was like, I didn't want you
guys to think, like, isn't that the lady that called in?
And so she cooped on her own And now she's
says she's a couple's therapists. You know that's fraud, you know.
So I just wanted to let y'all know I am
happily married and in a very healthy relationship.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
And so let's.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Say someone wants to hire you as a therapist, do
you want to give out a website or an Instagram account?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I'm out of idahost. I wouldn't be able to see
anybody locally in Arizona. I used to live in Arizona,
but I don't anymore. So I wouldn't be able to
see anybody in Arizona because of fighting sing logs.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Okay, well, thank you Susan.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, no problems. You guys have a great task
What, Susan.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'm a therapist and I've worked with couples specifically, and
I had a comment to make about that lady who
called in and said that she likes massash her husbands
seat every night. And then that other lady called in
and was super judgmental about it and was like, oh,
I don't think that. She kind of alluded to it
(00:21):
not being like a healthy relationship, and as a therapist,
that is actually very healthy.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
So every night when my husband gets home, I'm massage's feet,
full routine, oil, scrubs, towels. I've probably spent like two
hundred dollars on foot products just for him. You know,
I don't care if you just got home from the
gym and he's sweaty whatever. I'm still down like it's
like one of my favorite parts of the day. And
he'll just sit there and relax and I'm you know,
(00:49):
I'm like, tell me about your day and massage in
his feet.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Julie, what's up? You're on the air, what's up?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Why are you down there every single night like you're
a footspa. I want to do it. It relaxes him.
He works all day, and I like it.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Girl, You're like running a nightly foot service subscription plan
or something. I don't get it.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
No, No, I've created a routine that we both enjoy
and it's it's nice. I'm doing something nice and sweet
for my husband, and you're making it sound like it's embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So a couple points to make is that you guys
know John Gotman. He's like a very renowned like couple therapists,
done thousands of So yes I do.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I've been many.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
I've been a couple therapy where the Gotlin theory comes
up a lot, a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
He's like, he's like the guy, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
So based on his theory, right, he studied all these
thousands of couples, What that couple is doing is called rituals, right,
an active rituals. I don't know the exact term, I
can't remember, but essentially it's finding rituals in your day
to connect with one another, spend quality time with one another.
You basically reduce your risk of unhealthy relationship patterns and
(02:02):
divorced by like a ton like exponentially. So another thing
is that she doesn't feel forced and that this is
her choice to do this, and so it'd be different
if the husband was like demanding it right then that
would become unhealthy. But because she's doing it on her
own volition and she's saying, hey, this is the way
(02:23):
that I show appreciation and love, which is another key
important thing about healthy couples. It's finding ways to show
appreciation and love to your partner. So that lady that
calls in was like being very judgmental. I would encourage
her to look at how healthy couples operate, and that
(02:44):
that woman calling in is extremely healthy, and I'm sure
they have a very loving and healthy marriage.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Isn't there something else that like Gottman's got some famous stuff.
Is he the one has the six second kiss or
the hug?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I can't remember me. I'm not sure, but I use
Gottman in my work with couples. I also use a
lot of other series as well. But I love Gotman
for like teaching skills, because they're very skills space and
a lot of couples they might love each other a lot,
but they lack a lot of skills to facilitate that
loving relationship. And so it's about building admiration and connection
(03:22):
with your loved one, and like a love story that's
just unique to the both of you.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
It's worth it googling him.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
My wife and I've been through several sessions of marriage
counseling and he comes up a lot.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
He's really good.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Yeah, it was interesting. I want to ask you this, Susan.
I was well.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
I was at breakfast with one of my buddies over
the weekend. His name is Ken, and he was smiling
when I was kind of talking about, you know, my
wife's stacy, and he's like, do you know what they say?
The number one thing that I hear you talk about
is for couples to stay together.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
He said.
Speaker 6 (03:53):
It's not just you know, compromise and all that. It's
like you think your spouse is awesome. You say that's
the number one thing that keeps people together. And that
was really cool to hear.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
I like the thing too where it's like you have
to love your person in their love language, like Ken.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Never heard you talk about Ken?
Speaker 5 (04:09):
You know Ken, Ken Cummings. No, not that Ken does.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I would get ad nice in that guy.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I mean I love Ken Cummings, but I don't think
he's the relationship girls.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Karen's husband Ken, Oh love with him with Breakfast? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Yeah, I think I feel I've heard all your friends,
but not Ken.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Rich has so many friends, he probably has eight Ken's
in his life.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
I got a few, actually got you.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
But anyway, Ken says, find your spouse to be awesome,
and that is the number one factor of a happy marriage.
Not just a marriage'll last, but a happy marriage.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I was just talking to his wife yesterday. Yeah all right, Susan,
thank you so much. But go ahead, go ahead, No, no,
you had more.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I was gonna say that Rich is totally right with
his friend Ken, whoever it is. That's not true admiration
for yourself. So not just not just oh I like
them because they do stuff for me, but just appreciating
them as the person. So I hear Peyton say this
all the time about Kadeem her husband now where she's like,
(05:11):
I just love him for him, or you know the
comments that she makes. And so all of you sound
like you have very healthy relationships with your spouses. So
that's a good indicator that you have healthy and happy marriages.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
What's fun fact about ten Ken? Has you spelled his
name with two ends? Isn't that weird? Like I can't
get over yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
So one more thing, a topics I do want to say,
is I was the one that called in like maybe
a year and a half ago about how I cooped
on my own engagement with my ex husband.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Well, now you just ruined yourself as a therapist.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah right, but I'm in a very healthy, happy marriage.
Now we have cool children.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Oh great.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
So I just I was like, I didn't want you
guys to think, like, isn't that the lady that called in?
And so she cooped on her own And now she's
says she's a couple's therapists. You know that's fraud, you know.
So I just wanted to let y'all know I am
happily married and in a very healthy relationship.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
And so let's.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Say someone wants to hire you as a therapist, do
you want to give out a website or an Instagram account?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I'm out of idahost. I wouldn't be able to see
anybody locally in Arizona. I used to live in Arizona,
but I don't anymore. So I wouldn't be able to
see anybody in Arizona because of fighting sing logs.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Okay, well, thank you Susan.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, no problems. You guys have a great task
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