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June 10, 2024 45 mins

Why is drag being mainstreamed? To find the answer, we tell the story of Blake Howard – author of From Mascara to Manhood. Blake is a former drag queen that gives a unique insight into the twisted phenomenon sweeping the nation. The mainstream media loves a gender transition story - but they’ll never air Blake’s transformation…because it brings to the surface perhaps one of the most-taboo subjects in modern American culture. Special Note: Contains some adult subject matter.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
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Speaker 2 (00:19):
I think you're going to love it, and be sure
to share, like, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you're
listening to it. We need you guys support. Tell a
friend about the show. This is how people hear about
it is through word of mouth, and now on with
the show. No matter where you turn, you can't avoid

(00:39):
seeing a man wearing a dress. It's on our TV shows.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
I'm somewhere I never expected to be as a scrappy
dive bar drag queen.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
In movies, You're making me a woman. It's even at
your local library.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Drag Queen Story Hour.

Speaker 4 (00:56):
You might have seen flyers for it at your local library.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Men wearing man scara have even brought their strip club
style act into all ages events.

Speaker 5 (01:04):
Family Friendly Drag Show in Denver is ruffling some feathers.

Speaker 6 (01:08):
So called all ages drag shows are popping up all
over the country drag shows for kids.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
One of them was held the other day in Austin, Texas.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
With all these guys and gowns, it's got to make
you wonder why is drag being mainstreamed.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
I'm Patrick Carelci and I'm Adriana Cortez.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
And this is Red Pilled America, a storytelling show.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
This is not another talk show covering the day's news.
We are all about telling stories.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Stories.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Hollywood doesn't want you to hear stories.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
The media marks stories about everyday Americans at the globalist ignore.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
You could think of Red Pilled America as audio documentaries,
and we promise only one thing, the truth. Welcome to
Red Pilled America. Who would have guessed that all age

(02:09):
drag shows would become a trend? Drag queens are being
mainstreamed in America?

Speaker 3 (02:14):
But why.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
To find the answer, we tell the story of Blake Howard,
author of From Mescuera to Manhood. Blake is a former
drag queen that gives a unique insight into the twisted
art form sweeping the country. The mainstream media loves a
gender transition story, but they'll never air Blake's transformation because
it brings to the surface perhaps one of the most

(02:35):
taboo subjects in modern American culture.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Come on, Blake Howard's early upbringing doesn't exactly scream future
drag queen.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
I grew up in a smaller town in North Georgia,
the suburbs of Atlanta.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
That's Blake.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
My parents raised me and my brother both on very
traditional values.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Blake's brother is fourteen years older than.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Him, just kind of that good old boy Southern type mentality.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
The family joined a megachurch in their town.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
And was a part of that. On a Sunday Wednesday,
Basis and I called a home. It was very, very
simple life, the slow Southern life. I guess.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
By Blake's account in his younger years he was a spoiled,
rotten kid that lived the cushy suburban lifestyle.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
We had just about everything we wanted and everything we needed.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
But his relationship with his father was a bit lacking.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
My dad worked really hard for the money.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
He made, so it wasn't around much.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
I may not have had the best relationship for the
closest relationship with my father, but he was always working,
always trying to progress our family.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Blake could feel the absence. Now everyone knows that there's
been a decade long debate on whether people are born homosexuals. Well,
Blake is a data point in favor of the born
this Way camp, but he has a twist on the
argument that doesn't make it into the media.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
I always had a higher voice. I dressed pretty preppy
and wild colors as well, so I did get teased
a lot, I got bullied a lot. I started realizing
that there was something different about me when I was
about six or seven years old. I realized that when
some of the girls in my class would talk about
how they thought certain guys were cute and whatever, I

(04:33):
found myself feeling the exact same way. But it was
never something I ever mentioned or talked about because I
felt like there was something wrong. Like I was like, Okay,
I shouldn't feel these feelings.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
But young Blake hadn't learned that having the same sex
attraction was wrong at his megachurch. You see, by the
time Blake was sitting in the pews, churches all across
the country had gone through somewhat of a shift. Ministers
had just been through an over a decade long confrontation
with the LGBTQ community, and in many enclaves of America,
it changed the fabric of the pulpit.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
By the mid nineteen seventies, an effort to normalize homosexuality
was in full swing in Hollywood. The campaign was progressing,
but by the early eighties a new development hindered the project.

Speaker 7 (05:24):
Scientists at the National Centers for Disease Control and at
latter today released the results of a study which shows
that the lifestyle of some male homosexuals has triggered an
epidemic of a rare form of cancer.

Speaker 8 (05:38):
More than eight hundred cases nationwide, three hundred plus of
those fatal, and every day three more cases are identified.
And yet still surprisingly few people are familiar with the
Acquired Immune Deficiency syndrome, or the acronym by which it's
frequently identified ADS. When AIDS first dropped up about eighteen

(06:04):
months ago, almost all its victims were homosexual males who
frequently changed sexual partners.

Speaker 9 (06:11):
Investigators have examined the habits of homosexuals.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
For CRUs, I was in the fast lane at one
time in terms of the way that I lived my
life and now an.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
The AIDS epidemic put the sexual habits of homosexuals, especially
gay men, under scrutiny. By nineteen ninety, many pro family
Christian organizations attempted to combat the spread of their lifestyle.

Speaker 10 (06:37):
Larry Lee is leading an army of three hundred thousand
prayer warriors into daily spiritual combat, and he's challenging you
to make your home God's alter. The doors are opening
to the nations of the earth for this prayer message
which will change your life. God is going to raise
up a new time of Christian Then when we go
into battle, we lock it.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
We have declared war against the enemy and alternating back.

Speaker 11 (07:02):
The spirit of witch crowd.

Speaker 12 (07:03):
We just needed someone to pull us together.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
And go to war.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
On October thirty first, nineteen ninety, televangelist Larry Lee looked
to bring his congregation to the epicenter of the gay community,
San Francisco.

Speaker 6 (07:15):
It is a televangelist's assault on San Francisco, but the
so called sinners, including gays and pro choice advocates, say
they'll fight it.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Lee in a group of other pastors planned to hold
a prayer meeting at San Francisco's Civic Center on Halloween night.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
We got himself and his karma into trouble when he
announced his visit to exercise the city and of its
spirit of perversion. Lee intends that spirit runs wild in
San Francisco, not just on Halloween, but every night of
the year.

Speaker 9 (07:42):
We believe in that at in traditional value, so Judeo
Christian value, so that our country has founded upon the.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
City's gay Populace was outraged that Lee and his congregation
would enter the Bay Area community promoting their Christian morals.

Speaker 5 (07:56):
And I don't feel that he should come to San
Francisco and try to mess with our lives.

Speaker 12 (08:00):
He's calling people perverts, is calling the community of San
Francisco devil worshipers. And it's not something that can be
taken lightly or ignored because what his language does is
it fosters physical attacks.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
I think they're Nazis.

Speaker 4 (08:13):
I think that they need an agenda to keep their
political thing going.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
You know those dollars rolling in. He's nuts. He's a
dangerous nut Christian.

Speaker 4 (08:24):
He's criticizing gay people and saying that San Francisco is perverse.
We know it is, but we like.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
It that way.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
A group called Ghost for Grand Homosexual Outrage at sickening
televangelists plans of protest rally outside the prayer service.

Speaker 13 (08:38):
We are going out there and we're saying no to
some very evil people. And they're evil because they're they're biggots,
they're homophobes, and.

Speaker 12 (08:45):
They want everyone to believe like they believe.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
And we're just going out to say.

Speaker 12 (08:48):
No, thank you, we're alive, we like our lives.

Speaker 14 (08:50):
We're going to party, and uh, we say no to you.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Hundreds of gays, lesbians, nudists, and drag queens gathered outside
the San Francisco Civic Center.

Speaker 15 (09:00):
The demonstrators arrived at the same time as the churchgoers.
At first, everyone kept their distance, protesters chanting on one
side of the street, worshippers praying and healing people on
the other as they waited for the hall to open.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Yeah, I'll tell you where the real love is.

Speaker 10 (09:19):
It's when you make a commitment and you get married
to a woman.

Speaker 15 (09:23):
Soon, most of the two thousand chanting demonstrators crossed Grobe Street,
approaching the worshippers, and police moved in to try to
create a protective barrier between the two sides. Bus loads
of churchgoers, meantime, refused to get out because of demonstrators
who circled the exit.

Speaker 10 (09:38):
You should have people out here protecting the right of
law by these citizens.

Speaker 6 (09:43):
One thousand homosexual protesters blocked the entrance to the auditorium.
The Christians had to fight their way into the building
and fight to be heard.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
The LGBT community was outraged that the Christians came to
their backyard, so they decided to return the favor. A
militant gay organization affiliated with the San Francisco protesters, a
group called Queer Nation, began targeting churches, claiming that their
congregations were hateful homophobes.

Speaker 14 (10:18):
Two groups come together, Mormon Church members gathering for their
annual conference Homosexuals and lesbians, a group called Queer Nation
gathering to challenge the church.

Speaker 7 (10:29):
The group called Queer Nation is angry about a speech
given by General Authority Boyd K.

Speaker 8 (10:34):
Packer.

Speaker 9 (10:35):
Queer Nation is a local group with ties to the
national organization known for its radical protests across the country.
The Salt Lake chapter is angry about what it says
are anti gay messages from LDS Church leaders.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Three of the.

Speaker 9 (10:48):
Group's members told KUTV they're demonstrating tomorrow against statements about gays.

Speaker 5 (10:53):
Well today, the LDS Church reiterated and stand on homosexuality.
In a written statement, the church says, quote will believe
in the worth of each individual, that each is loved
and valued by God. We do not condone the homosexual act,
just as we do not condone any sexual relations outside
of marriage. However, we do care about and love each individual.

Speaker 13 (11:13):
There was a Christian rally going on in the steps
of City Hall at the same time, Queer Nation with
having what they call a kiss in to demonstrate their sexuality.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
For the next decade, gay groups and the media targeted
Christian organizations, branding their beliefs as bigoted, homophobic, and hateful.
By the time young Blake Howard began sitting in the
pews in the early two thousands, many churches shied away
from directly addressing the Bible's teachings on homosexuality, including his megachurch. Again,

(11:53):
Blake Howard, it's.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
Like very very clear in the Bible of what the
Biblical views are. Now people don't preach about it or
talk about it because they're afraid to start a riot
and get people all mad and have the LGBTQ community
coming after them because they decided to preach about it
in the full pit.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
So Blake was left to make his own assessment of
the gay lifestyle. But his father's sentiment didn't leave much
to the imagination.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
I remember we were at a dinner and my dad
so we had been talking about American Idol, and I
remember there was one particular singer that I really like.
Of course, at the end of the day, I thought
it was attractive.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Blake's mom said that he'd recently mentioned in an interview
that he was.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
Gay, and the moment that my mom said that, my
dad was like, well, we don't talk about bags. So honestly,
I had the notion that it was not okay, that
it was bad, but I just didn't know why. I
knew about Jesus and I knew that he loved me
and those kind of like basic things, but I didn't
understand why this was wrong.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Today, Blake believes in the born this Way notion, but
he has an interesting take on the debate.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
I agree with the same menia I was born this
way because again, like I was one of those people
that had those feelings very early, very young. I think
that when you are six and seven years old and
you're feeling these feelings towards the same sex, it's like,
what else do you really and truly blame it on?
I mean, you can blame it on the media you watch,

(13:28):
or you can blame it on this, that, and the other.
But just as the Bible says we're born into sin,
the Bible also says that we have to be born again.
I mean, I really believe that the Word of God
just tells us directly, like everyone's born into sin, period.
So the Bible says we're all born into sin.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
In other words, Blake actually sees born this way homosexuality
as original sin. So Blake recognized his same sex attraction
at a young age, but then something happened that broke
the barrier of his resistance.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Fast forward towards like the end of my age of seven,
I actually ended up getting molested and at first was
presented to me by like a game essentially and involved
like a kid that was like about my age that
I was really close friends with, and we hung out
all the time. We rode bikes and we played, and
then like later other adult, like another adult got involved.

(14:24):
His older brother got involved in its.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Blake says, the older brother was fourteen.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
It was never really like, oh, you can't talk about this,
and they tried to like shut me up. I just
didn't ever talk about it because I honestly, I didn't
want to not be able to hang out with my
friends anymore. But at the same time, like I didn't
want to get in trouble. I never really like had
the idea that they did anything wrong. I was like
mentally for me, it was all like I did something

(14:49):
wrong and I didn't want to get in trouble for it.
I was already feeling these feelings and then I went
through this like sexual experience, and I say that kind
of like sealed the deal, like that really like it
harvested the seed, like the seed was there, and that
was really what solidified it, because now I had some

(15:10):
sort of like physical idea to put with the way
I was feeling.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
The event led Blake down.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
A wormhole, and that was like the time of iPod touches,
so I had got one of those. I was googling
different things trying to understand what was happening to me,
like why I liked it, why was different, like why
it made sense to the way I was feeling. And
I mean, of course, my very first sexual experience was

(15:38):
it was with another guy. So it was like this
crazy and just weird mindset was put inside of me.
That marriage is for men and women, and sex is
for men and men. And although that sounds like very
silly and kind of autlandish, just for that it's that's

(15:59):
what my child mine was thinking.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
By the time Blake reached high school, he was into
just about everything the girls were into, including theater.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
So I was like, this theater kid eventually just finding
a place where I kind of belonged in this like
theater type world. That way I could like express myself
and be who I wanted or I thought I could be.
And I had friends tell me that I would make
a really good gay best friend, and a lot of
people were just like, you should just be gay already,
and I was like, I'm not gay, like I don't

(16:50):
like guys, And it was really just because, like I again,
for whatever reason, I knew it was wrong. I just
didn't know why.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
During his sophomore year, Blake recalled but a gay boy
in his theater class began to befriend him.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
I ended up telling him like, I know you like me,
and I just want to tell you, like I don't
like you back, I don't like guys. I'm sorry. And
I think that it was really about senior year that
I was kind of like, Okay, like maybe I like guys.
Maybe I'm just going to kind of go into this
and go for it.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
And just as Blake came to this realization, a part
came up in his theater program that would eventually turn
his world upside down.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
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all about awakenings, and I recently had an awakening of
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but they do have color. My mom says, once you
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Red Vines junkie my entire life. It's always been my
must have companion for every movie. But The Licorice Guy

(17:48):
changed all that. His licorice is so good and so
fresh that it made me realize that what I'd been
eating my whole life wasn't really licorice at all. The
Licorice Guy is a family owned American business specializing in
gourmet licorice. They offer jumbo licorice sticks that come in
nostalgic dimestore colors like red, black, chocolate, cinnamon, and blue raspberry.

(18:09):
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(18:30):
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taste the difference. Welcome back to Red Pilled America. So,
while Blake Howard was in his senior year of high school,
he finally started to warm up to the idea that

(18:52):
he was gay.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
Maybe I like ours, Maybe I'm just kind to kind
of go into this and go for it.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
Right around this time, his school's theater program announced that
baby producing an adaptation of Hairspray. The original nineteen eighty
eight movie, written and directed by John Waters, included a
role played by a drag queen. The role was a
pivotal one within the gay community. You see, John Waters,
who was openly gay, had been one of the earliest
filmmakers to insert drag queens into his work. In his

(19:20):
first full length film, the nineteen sixty nine Mondo Trash Show,
Mister Waters based the film around a drag queen that
went by the stage name Divine, and the years that followed,
drag queens would slowly begin to make their way onto
the big screen. The nineteen seventy five cult classic Rocky
Horror Picture Show featured actor Tim Curry as a colorful
drag queen. Skirt wearing men began trickling onto the little

(19:43):
screen as well. In nineteen seventy six, Charles Pearce, a
drag queen, appeared on The MERV Griffin Show.

Speaker 6 (19:50):
I had to tip the driver with my bottle in
the a that guy gave me change Joe.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
The following year, mister Pierce made a brief appearance on
Starskan Hutch dressed in drag. Later that same year, TV
producer Norman Lear put a drag queen on the wildly
famous sitcom All in the Family.

Speaker 1 (20:10):
Don't Beverly Look Beautiful Art?

Speaker 8 (20:15):
Holy?

Speaker 11 (20:18):
Oh Yeah, oh yeah, look beautiful Beverly.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
By the early nineteen eighties, drag queens were making regular
appearances in Hollywood Fair, Hi.

Speaker 10 (20:28):
Hey, Welcome Back in the Show, and gentleman John Waters
is the man responsible for making Divine a movie star.
She has been He has been in his movies Female,
Trouble of Pink, Flamingo's Polyester, in Multiple Maniacs.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
By the mid nineteen eighties, just as the aide epidemic
was in full swing, UK pop Sensation Culture Club grabbed
the Best New Artist award at the Grammys, and the
group's popular lead singer Boy George gave drag queens mainstream credibility.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
Thank you, America, You've got tyst style and you know
a good drag for you when you say so.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
By the time John Waters began producing his film Hairspray,
the damn he helped crack broke open enough for him
to include a drag queen into a primary role in
his mainstream big screen picture.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
Could you turn that racket down? I'm trying to iron
in here.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
The character's name was Edna Turnblad and it was played
by mister Waters's original drag queen star, Divine. The part
became iconic to the gay community, so when Blake's high
school theater program announced they'd be doing Hairspray, he knew
which role he'd be auditioning.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
For it was Edna Turnblad in Hairspray. And when they
announced that we were going to be doing Hairspray, I
was like, I knew exactly what I wanted because I
knew I'd like, I knew that I wanted to play
that role and it was like a traditional like drag role,
and they are going to cast a guy for this
particular role anyway, and I was like, I want to

(22:01):
do it.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Blake spoke to his mother telling her he wanted to
go out for the part, but he played it down
so she wouldn't suspect anything. You see, Blake still hadn't
come out to his friends and family. Sure flairs were
going off like the finale of a centennial Fourth of
July fireworks show, but Blake stidn't openly cop up to it.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
I auditioned, did everything, and successfully got the role, and
I kind of like dove into that. Literally after every
show I would just get like just raving reviews. People
were just like literally obsessed with it, the whole production
and the role. They were like, oh my gosh, she
did an incredible job. Like I thought they hired a

(22:42):
forty year old woman to be that. I had no
idea that was you. I had no idea that was
a guy like you did it amazing. That was probably
the best role I've ever seen you in. And you know,
you're so talented, and it was just like all the
stuff and growing up like bullied the way I was,
and then also at the same time, like I just honest,
I never felt like I was enough. I never felt
like I was enough for my dad. I never felt

(23:03):
like I was enough for my brother. I had this
like measuring stick next to me all the time that
was completely self created. That was nothing that anyone really
ever held me to. It was just something that I
was like, I'm never going to measure up. I'm never
going to be like my brother, I'm never going to
be like my dad, you know, so all these kind
of things. So when everyone started giving me these compliments,

(23:26):
all of these years of feeling like nothing enough just
disappearing in a moment, I was like, this is where
it's at.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Blake graduated high school in twenty fourteen. He began dating
a guy, but he still didn't want to come out
of the closet.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
I didn't want to tell people really that I was gay.
So that was our biggest argument that was the biggest thing,
so that we just split ways. And at the time,
I was like broken hearted and I thought that I
had lost love and I thought I had lost like
the best thing that ever happened to me. So I
just started getting really promiscuous and I started like sleeping

(24:07):
around with different people and different guys, and I wasn't
being safe.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
Blake was a big young man two hundred and fifty pounds,
but he would meet guys on dating apps in locations
that left them vulnerable to shady characters, all for fifteen
minutes of perceived pleasure. The interactions felt hollow to him.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
I still had this like empty space even after like
losing him and then starting hooking up with tons of
different guys. I was kind of like, I still have
this weird hole in my heart, Like I don't know
what the heck to do, Like I just don't feel
completely satisfied to fill the void.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Blake started thinking about the one thing that made him
feel good.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Then I was like, you know, like what if I
just started doing drag again, Like what if I did
I actually became a drag queen and not just like
left it as that one role At.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
That time, makeup tutorials were starting to be huge on YouTube.
Blake began watching them.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
I had no idea where to even begin or how
to get myself into the drag scene, because the reality
is it's really hard to even get yourself in there
without any connections or like knowing people. So I was
kind of going into a completely blind Just.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
As Blake had this epiphany, the mother of a high
school friend reached out to him. The mother had seen
his performance in Hairspray.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
She called me up and was like, Hey, I know
this is random, this out of the blue, but I
am doing like this charity thing and trends of companies
have got together and we're raising money for said charity.
And at the end of today's event, like all of
the companies are supposed to send a drag queen to
the stage and they're going to do a show, and

(25:49):
people are going to give you money while you're performing,
and then like, whoever raises so much money and has
the best performance wins.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Blake immediately accepted.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
So then I was like, yes, I'll totally do it all.
I'm there, I'm down.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Blake began piecing together a costume, a wig, address some
high heels. He put what he learned from the YouTube
makeup tatorials into practice and he was off and running.

Speaker 3 (26:15):
I got there to the event and the mom was like, okay,
I need a name, like who what is your name
going to be? And the first thing that came into
my head was Velma, And so that was when she
kind of became real. She was born.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
Velma was in nineteen sixties housewife, big blonde hair, a
very chic fashionista.

Speaker 3 (26:37):
So I did the performance and everyone loved it. Everyone
had such a good time. Tons of money was given
to me, just.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Like his hairspray performance. Blake was showered with compliments.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
And I was like pumped with all of that and
immediate like just affection and people are just like obsessed
and they wanted more, and I kind of finally felt
like there was a place for me to step out
of my own shoes and jump into this whole different
character that didn't have the same problems as me. Everybody

(27:11):
loved her like she didn't have problems with people, she
didn't get bullied, she was just her and everyone loved her.
And that's why I really considered it a whole person
that she's born, because it's like she didn't have the
same set of issues I did, and when I became her,
it was like completely different. I didn't have to hold
back or like be secretive or you know, like keep

(27:32):
everything down low anymore.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Blake wanted to keep it going. He sought out some
drag clubs to go to, but the problem was Blake
was still living with his parents, who still didn't know
he was gay, so he began to sneak out late
at night.

Speaker 3 (27:46):
So a lot of the times, I would like go
to friends' houses and then get ready and then we
would go to a bar, we'd go to something, or
if I had a performance or whatever. But the reality
was is like even when I was there, you know,
I wasn't old enough to be in these clubs.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
He was eighteen and nineteen years old going to twenty
one and over clubs.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
But when you show up and drag, no one really
like questions your age or you know who you are
or what you're doing.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Blake's promise huity continued.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
Like I was hooking up with thirty forty year old
men and they were either married or like secretly closeted gay.
I was looking for acceptance from another dude. I heard
this minister talk about the subject one time, and he
used to struggle with homosexuality. He was saying that one

(28:35):
day he realized that homosexuality is just perverted lust. It
all boils down to just lust, but it also boils
down to jealousy. And you are so jealous of this
other person. You are looking for another person that has

(28:56):
everything that you are not.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
This explanation resonated with Blake.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
And when I looked at my life and I realized,
I was like, that makes so much sense. You're sitting
there and you are already craving attention from a guide
because you didn't really get it from your father, you
didn't really get it from your older brother, you didn't
really have male role models. But as a boy, that
is something very natural that boys yearn for, is to

(29:23):
be like close with another man, to teach them how
to be a boy, teach them how to be a man,
show them how to hunt. It's just our natural instincts
kicking in as children. And then you bring that in
with this idea of like he has everything I don't have,
Like he's skinny, he's better looking, he's he has great parents.

(29:44):
And instead of like feeling hatred toward that person, your
mind begins to just develop a love and a lust
for that person. And so it's like people begin to
completely disconnect themselves from the truth and and to chase
after something that they've never had. And I think that

(30:05):
my malestation it played a huge role in that because
it gave me the physical language to kind of put
with the way I was feeling. And then Okay, this
is what happens when you get close to guys, and
this is what happened when you get close to men.
And then it was just like, you know, it all
started from just needing a hug from your father every

(30:29):
once in a while. Too. Now you're sleeping in the
bed with a man. And is it just I didn't
get hugged by my bed my dad. No, But I
mean it begins to really like solidify that when you're
already struggling with all these things and then you end
up having a sexual experience, it's like everything shifts.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
The promiscuity didn't make Blake hole, so he began self medicating.
He started drinking heavily. He picked up a cocaine habit.
Then one night he almost overdosed.

Speaker 3 (31:06):
I felt my heart racing I felt my body doing
a lot of things that my body's never done before.
And I was actually watching one of my friends puking,
and I was just like a lord, like if you
give me through this, like I will stop doing.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
Drug Blake survived the night, and he wanted to go clean.
As he came out of his drug filled haze, Blake
started to become disillusioned by the whole drag spectacle.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
I was realizing that everyone was just so obsessed with
this character and not of me, Like they would give
me instant gratification when I was this person, this Bellma character,
but when I was Blake, like no one cared about me,
no one noticed me I was anything special. It was like,
I don't want to do this anymore, because like why

(31:49):
would I want to have to be somebody else just
for people to like me? Like this is getting exhausting.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
Blake started contemplating hanging up his wig. He applied for
a role at the dis World theme park in Orlando, Florida.

Speaker 3 (32:02):
And I was like planning on moving down there and
doing that, and that was going to be my escape
from getting away from all the drugs and all the craziness,
and it was going to give me some time to
think about whether or not I wanted to continue doing drag.
And my mom was like, well, like, what do you
think about going to this ministry school that's in Alabama.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Blake's cousin was attending the ministry school as well that
Blake wasn't interested.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
It was in the middle of nowhere, and at the time,
like all I really had was like a Walmart and
a Taco Bell. So I was like, I'm not not
going there. And my mom was like, well, just go
and try it. If you hate it, in November when
you come back for Thanksgiving, you can leave and I'll
help him move to Orlando.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Blake decided to give it a try. He applied and
got in. He still wasn't sure that he wanted to
quit doing drag, but he reluctantly went to Alabama, and
when he did, he had an experience that shifted his
entire perspective on life. Do you want to hear red

(33:05):
Pilled America stories ad free, then become a backstage subscriber.
Just log onto Redpilled America dot com and click join
in the top menu. Join today and help us save
America one story at a time. Come on, Welcome back
to red pilled America. Who so Blake Howard decided to

(33:29):
listen to his mom and give an Alabama ministry school
a try. He arrived a few days before orientation and
he was in a bit of a mood. He didn't
want to be there. He didn't want to talk to anyone,
didn't want anyone to know anything about him. The first
thing he did was connect with his cousin. They decided
to go to a church service at the school.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
So we went to the just like the regular Wednesday service.
There wasn't very many people there because the school. I'm
aprobody from the school was there yet, and I remember
like everybody was moving to where it's the front to
like start worship. Church was about to start, and I
was like what is everybody doing? And my cousin was like,
just come, like, let's go worship. And I was like okay.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Church wasn't new to Blake. He knew what to do
and began just going through the motions.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
So music started. Everybody's like jumping throwing their arms around,
and I was like, okay, all these people are crazy,
but I just decided to join in because I was like,
I don't want to look like the weird one not
doing this, and I started losing myself in this worship.
I didn't understand what was happening. I started feeling joy.
I started feeling happiness, Like I was like, why am

(34:36):
I so like happy right now? Like I just never
felt it like this before.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
Then the music transitioned to a slower.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Song, and all of a sudden, this presence entered the room.
It just brought this peace and this freedom, and it
was just like all the love of God just filled
the room in one moment, and I just I felt
so oh free. I didn't know how to like even
articulate it, because I never felt a presence that tangible

(35:07):
before in my entire life. I had grown up in church,
and this was kind of the same, but just like
a little bit more old and southern, and so I
was just kind of like, what is going on? And
then I remember, just like I felt the presence of
the Lord in such a way that I was like,
I don't want to do any of this anymore, Like
I don't want this.

Speaker 11 (35:29):
You are strong, you are brave, you are all you
meant to be. Everything you ever.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Dreamed came true.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
I let go of the drugs and the alcohol and
all that kind of stuff at the altar, and then
the same weekend I decided like I was going to
follow Jesus for real.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
But he still had one internal conflict.

Speaker 3 (35:49):
The one thing that I was like, I'm still I mean,
I'm still gay. Like yay, I'm sober and I'm a
good person again, but I'm still gay.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
After orientation, he had to followed through on a commitment
he'd already made. He'd agreed to perform Drag at a
cabaret type show in Atlanta.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
And I remember getting ready for that role and before
when I had been putting on the makeup and putting
on the facade and I slipped on my wigs and
all that kind of stuff, I felt different. I felt free.
I felt like, oh, I can be a different person.
And no one has to know that Blake has all
these problems and all these insecurities and he wants to
kill himself. Velma just gets to be someone that new.

(36:28):
And this time when I was putting on my makeup,
I was putting on everything, and I was like, I
really don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
Blake did his performance, but when he stepped off the stage,
something was different.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
And I just remember having that moment of just like
I don't want to do this anymore, and letting go
of this drag persona and letting go of this like
false identity of like playing pretend all the time to
get away from my problems. It was like I tried
to find freedom in it, and then I only found
bondage in it.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
In seventy two hours, Blake says he had a transformation.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
Yeah, I just had an encounter with Jesus and that's
all it took.

Speaker 11 (37:06):
You are strong, you are brave, if you are only
meant to me everything you ever dreamed. Game, when you leaf,
when we cry, I'll be always on your side and
thing God for you and me, Thank God, oh you

(37:34):
and me.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Blake left the drag Queen's charade behind him. He went
back to ministry school and finished out the year, but
when he went home to Atlanta, he began to revert
a bit to his old lifestyle.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
I wasn't in my church bubble anymore, and I was alone,
and I started like messing up and sleeping with dudes.
And then I would get back and I would feel
like hell, like crap. I felt like I disappointed God
or I disappointed my leaders or whatever, and it was
probably the roughest year of my life. Well, then my
second year of ministry school came around and I got

(38:13):
a job at Olive Garden as a server.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
A bunch of the servers were students at his ministry school,
including a young lady.

Speaker 3 (38:21):
We realized like we had a lot in common. We
started cardboarding together with another friend and this girl was like, oh, yeah,
I used to be gay.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
She was actually engaged at one point to another woman.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
She ended up coming to a conference at the ministry
school and completely got wrecked by God, and we kind
of realized that we kind of had the same story.
We were like pot heads. We did drugs, We drink
a lot, and we got crazy and partied, and then
we also were struggled with homosexuality. And so it was
like finding someone that I could finally like talk to

(38:56):
about everything, and they just understood. We were such best
friends that we were able to talk about our sexual history.
Is that that was the biggest thing. Is like, when
you have been through everything I've been through and you
slept with the amount of guys I slept with, like
you have this idea already in your head, like what
girl is ever going to want to be with me
because I literally slept with other dudes. Like that's not
something that a girl would want to be proud of

(39:17):
her husband. We told each other everything completely.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
And his friendship with his Olive Garden coworker blossomed, but
Blake was actually dating another.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
Girl when we ended up breaking it off. And then
she told me, like, after I broke with this girl,
she was like, so I like you, and I was
like okay. And it was funny because like before any
of this, I had actually kind of like started to
like her in a sense like we were just always together,

(39:46):
we were always she was just my person, and before
that would have just been my best friend. But it
was just like something was different about her, and I
just never understood what it was. And I remember like
there was a time where we were I turn on
the radio. We were just listening to worship music, and
I was like, let's I was like, let's just pray,
let's just worship, Let's see what the Lord has to say.
Let's just listen to the Lord. And I remember like

(40:10):
she just got lost and she started just like bawling.
The Lord was moving her life, and I kind of
like looked over her, and I remember thinking I could
do this with her forever. And I actually like freaked
out because I'm like, uh, do I like a girl
right now? Like is that real life? Like I actually
like find a girl attractive? Like this is freaking crazy.
Like I was like mind boggled because that never really

(40:32):
happened for me. I had like made myself believe like
you're just gonna have to like be celibate. And it
was like when the Lord just gave me this person
and actually, like just I formed this attraction to her,
it was like everything in me had changed. It was
completely different. So we ended up dating, and we realized

(40:54):
that we were running towards God at the same speed
and going for the same reasons, and it just made
us to run together.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
They got married in twenty eighteen. They moved to San Antonio,
Texas to be close to her family, and the two
are on a spiritual journey together.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
And her dad is a pastor here in San Antonio,
and so we came under his ministry and where youth
pastors for a while, and now we're associate pastors and
where the church administrators as well. Then we have a
one year old almost about to be a two year
old in Peopril, and then in September we were expecting

(41:32):
our second leader.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
In today's climate, it's hard for people to believe that
a man that was effectively born gay can turn away
from that desire to live a traditional marriage. You may
even have a hard time believing Blake's story now, but
Blake has a message for anyone that'll listen.

Speaker 3 (41:57):
I didn't just all of a sudden one day wake
up and I could walk into a bar and be like, dang,
I could do that, chick. You know, It was like
it was never that kind of situation. It was just
like a journey of trying to find my identity and
who God's called me to be and also like denying
myself and at the same time, like realizing that God
was never going to make me straight. God was going

(42:20):
to make me whole. And the Lord spoke to me
one day and he was like, is not gay to straight.
It's from broken the whole. And when you start like
chasing wholeness in me is when you finally find deliverance
and you finally find freedom. And that was what it took.
It's like not trying to define it by human terms,
but really defining it by what God says about us

(42:42):
and then realizing that everything else is easy after that, which.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Brings us back to the question why is drag being
mainstreamed In this case, I think it's best for a
former drag queen to give the answer.

Speaker 3 (43:04):
People are using drag queens as this vehicle almost to
normalize the LGBTQ community starting from the sixties. Like, over time,
this people group has begun to ease their way into society,
and they're like inventing pretty colorful characters to introduce to

(43:27):
your children. So then that way, it doesn't look the same,
it's just packaged in a different package. But I definitely
think grooming is an appropriate term because essentially what I
see is they're trying to make it so normal that eventually,
like the Christians are the ones that look crazy, and
now they're just trying to make it so normal that

(43:49):
any person that is an opposition to their narrative is wrong,
is crazy, is hateful, is complete opposite of the reality
of truth.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
And if there's anyone out there that is living the
life that Blake once lived, he wants you to know
if there is another way.

Speaker 3 (44:09):
What people are not talking about is there is a
way to get out of the LGBTQ community. There's a
possibility of like letting go of these unwanted same sex
attraction thoughts, like it's not conversion therapy or electric shocks,
or you can take this pill and pray the gay away.
It's like there's really a relationship with Jesus that can

(44:30):
actually take these things away and give you like an
identity that's like solid.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
Red Pilled America is an iHeartRadio original podcast. It's owned
and produced by Patrick Carrelci and me Adriana Cortez of
Informed Ventures. Now. You can get ad free access to
our entire archive of episodes by becoming a backstage subscriber.
To subscribe, visit Redpilled America dot com and click join
in the top menu. That's Red Pilled America dot com

(44:57):
and click join in the topmenu. Thanks for listening.
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