Best of 2026 - Dr. Cheyenne Bryant Talks New Book ‘Live Your Promise’, Healed Bonds & Marriages, Her Doctorate Degree, Ignoring Negativity. Recorded 2026.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Every day.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
The Breakfast Club finish for y'all done.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Everybody is ej en Vy, Jesse, Hilarrys, Charlamagne the guy.
We are the Breakfast Club Law on the roasteres here
as well. We got a special guests in the building.
Her new book is out right now live your promise.
Ladies and gentlemen, Doctor Cheyenne Briant, welcome back.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Listen Breakfast Club, fam I love I love being here.
I'd be seeing seeing you out at the Diddy Trial,
seeing you out at the boosy gz up. Let me
tell you there was music playing and then there was
music playing.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Can you tell the people he really be DJing?
Speaker 4 (00:39):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
No, I go out when he go, chloices. I go
because I always have a good time. But they be
trying to play with him up here, like he don't
be doing what he's doing.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Ivy, did I not come behind that stage you to
say listen, the entire party concert was jumping because he
was on fire. At the DJ boo, I looked like
who is that? And I was like, ah, DJ, yeah,
you killed that.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I think you need a new name, right you Doctor
Shy and Brian here, but you need like a shy
shy because she was shy shy that weekend. No, no,
you don't understand every boosy verse and record she knew
from head to.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
You talking too much.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Every Jesus, every yo, you have to stay just start
off there right, So you know, Jez, I'm the realist nigga.
She like, I'm the real doctor in here.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
You're already see that's why you got to have everybody
sign of nda.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You know, I love that kind of hybrid.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
I gotta be able to have a good time. I
gotta be able to be relatable to people.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Why do the people be mad when you are out
having a good time? Because that made me think of
when you went to Jez's concert and it was a
whole discourse about your outfit at the concert.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
So, Jez, they weren't mad because the doc was having
a good time. They were mad because of what I wore.
It was black tied to me, it wasn't black tied
to some other people. And you know, this is the thing.
I have agents over a couple things. One of those
happened to be me and what I wear, And so
I'm gonna always wear what I want to wear. And again,
(02:08):
you know, my clients, my doc squad, my fan base,
those are my people, those are my village. My goal
is not to sit up here and try to convince
folks who have already made up their mind to either
misunderstand me or dislike me, to like me. I will
spend my entire life having to continuously convince them to
like understand. And that's just a responsibility that I'm not
(02:30):
going to take on. I don't think anybody should do that.
We all have our village, and our job is to cater, to,
love and nurture our village. Once you start going outside
of that, then you have to spend your whole life
trying to make sure these people continuously like you, and
then you live in dogma, and dogma will eat your
ass up alive. And it's just not worth it. It's
just it's a bill that you don't want to ever
(02:52):
have to pay.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Does it bother you at all?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Which part the way?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Do people attack you? Because you get attacked a lot,
you know, and you know you know it's crazy, you don't.
I don't realize the amount that you get attacked. And
we're gonna dive all into it until you come up
here about your book. And I'm started just doing research
in your book, and I'm like, God, damn, did they
not like doctor Cheyenne Bryant.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I'd be seeing it in real time, So.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Does it doesn't bother me. It comes with the territory.
And I think that any of us who are either
in the industry and media, a celebrity who has a
certain level of fame, or even just came from the
inner city right and knows what it is to be
an attractive woman in the hood. In the inner city,
you get a lot of rhetoric, and you understand that
(03:36):
the outside chatter is a part of being successful. And
then I said this with humility, but to truth. And
you add on beauty, you add on being articulated or educated,
and you know, beating a lot of the statistics and
the odds that come from being an inner city. You know,
little girl boy, it comes with the territory. So I
always say that, you know, Jesus served the church, died
(04:00):
for the church, and the church Judas his disciple, set
him up, the people he loved and he serves set
him up to be crucified. So why do we personalize
when people I eat our disciples are folks who are
never our disciples. And our people have an issue with us,
try to take us down or set us up for failure.
(04:21):
That is a part of being great. That is a
part of people witnessing you be in your lane and
do what you do and them saying I either don't
have the capacity to do so I would love to
do it. And what I've learned, y'all is that people
don't always want to occupy your space. They want your territory.
(04:43):
And if you understand that, then you occupy the territory
that God has given you because no one can take
what God has given. You can't miss what's yours. And
if your faith, which is an action word, stands on that,
then what are you personalizing when people have an issue
with you? One Number two literally pay for the kind
of Internet attention that I get. They create storylines for
(05:07):
the headlines and the blog attention and the virility that
I get. I don't pay for any of it. I
just show up and be me, and so no, it
doesn't bother me. What I will say is there's times
where doctor Brian has to check Cheyenne on some of
my clapbacks because some of my clapbacks be like, you know, well,
(05:28):
your mama and I said, you can't say that. But
then I'm like, you can't, but I'm like, don't. So
it has stretched my bandwidth. It has really shown me
how emotionally intelligent I am. And it also has shown
me where I have some growth in the emotional maturity space.
When I'm thinking of clapping back or or saying something
(05:53):
that could really gut people.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Well, how does it feel? You know, because a lot
of the backlash come from people in your field, right
the doctor's therapist, life coaches, And what I say is
they say, the reason that you don't get questioned or
tested as much is because of your quote unquote looks.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
You know what ivy. I said this last time I
was on You might be my alter ego brother, because
some of the stuff you say is just right up
the alley of what needs to be addressed. So there's
pretty privilege, and I've learned that there's pretty punishment. And
I didn't really understand that term until I got into
my field. And I want to say this, I didn't
(06:31):
get it. I've been in my field for eighteen years.
I didn't get into this field to become famous, to
become a celebrity. I got in this field because I
was a little girl from the inner city who was
tenations determined to make it out, and I had a
lot of broken pieces in abandonment. And when God provided
me tools that helped me take my broken pieces and
make peace from it, go from my wilderness into my
promised land, which I talk about in my book, Live
(06:53):
Your Promise, I thought, wait a minute, I got to
make sure I give everybody to come in contact with
these principles because everyone deserves that freedom and that healing
that I'm experiencing what I call God's peace, all right,
And so with that, people got a whiff of it,
and you know, the fam base, the folks made me famous,
(07:14):
made me a celebrity. I did not grow up and say, hey,
I want to just listen. I'm a good looking woman.
I've had access to the industry for my entire life.
If I wanted to be famous, I would have went
maybe the actress route or the modeling route. Easy, easy
call for me. It would have been so easy. I've
never had an agent, I've never had a manager. So
(07:36):
what I'm saying is this came to me and I
had to continuously remind people I'm in a field where
I am taking on people's luggage. I am unpacking it,
and I am helping them process through their stuff so
they can have a better quality of life, they can
have mental health, and they can actually have tools to
sustain their well being. So none of that. No one
(07:59):
goes to college and gets multiple degrees to say I
want to be famous. Now do I love it here? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I'm grateful for it. I appreciate it. So another thing is,
you know, I created my own lane as a psychology
xper life coach. So when people see that, they went
into a group that wasn't a lane. They just fell
into being a part of a group. And they're looking
(08:25):
at this other woman who they're like, wait a minute.
You know she created her own lane and she's totally
killing it. It's like, Yo, there's only room for me
in the lane that I created. And I would like
if y'all put your blinker on when you're trying to
get over, because a lot of times they're trying to
just get over my lane. It's like, but doesn't work
like that. If folks would concentrate on either asking, buying books,
(08:49):
looking at my videos, booking a session to say, doc,
how did you do it. I'm not a gatekeeper. I
love putting people on the quickest way to walk this
through serving people. I'm in a service position as a
psychologexter life coach. I am serving people all day long.
As president of NAACP, the biggest civil rights organization in
(09:10):
Los Angeles for fourteen years. That is a service position.
We don't get paid to run a civil rights organization.
That is volunteer work I've done for fourteen years. I
am in a service position. I'm a commissioner at home
for assemblyman. I have been a Democratic California state delegate.
Those are all elected official servant positions. And so if
(09:34):
folks would focus on doc, how did you create your
own lane? I don't want to be you but dad,
but I want my own lane to occupy. I would
give them the tools like I'm doing in my book,
Live your promise about how I did it, how I
went from the hood to the hills. Was it hard? Yeah?
Is it possible? Absolutely? Am I the only one that
(09:55):
can do it?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Hell?
Speaker 4 (09:56):
No? The tools I use, if you apply it, you
would get this result, just like baking a cake.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Well, you don't I want to start off with because
doing research, I mean When I say the amount of
people attacking you, it just opened up a Pandora's box.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
I like Jesus.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Though people didn't like me, they don't like you.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Even they don't like you either sometimes.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Well, you know, I wanted to start with what you do.
The thing I see online is she doesn't she doesn't
do this under her license. She's not a quote unquote
real doctor. She has an honorary degree. She didn't earn it.
So let's talk about what you do as far as
being a life coach and a doctor. Do you have
a license for for what you do?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
So?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Well, what is a license needed?
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I love that what I do a license is not required.
One number two one, I was in my undergrad which
is a degree in psychology. My master's is a degree
in marriage, Family and Child therapy. My doctorate is in
counseling psychology. Those are all academic. I have four academic degrees.
The other one is in Pan African studies. There's two
(10:57):
honorary doctorates. One is in behavioral science, so you have
an earned doctor, yes, and the other ones is in humanitaris.
Honorary doctorates are to praise you and give you your
flowers for your body of work. Okay, they're not academic,
but it shows your body of work is effective enough
for them to honor you with an honorary doctorate. Now,
going back when I said I worked under a license,
(11:20):
see all of this is terminology. People would open up
their ears and do what school teaches therapists to do.
I'm not a therapist, but the group of licensed professionals
who have an issue with this, they teach you all
something called active listening. None of y'all seem to be
actively listening. Working under a license means I'm working under
(11:42):
a supervisor's license. If anyone went to school for therapy, psychiatrists, psychologists,
you have to accumulate practicum. You have to accumulate hours
before you can graduate. It's not an option. So I
accumulated thousands of hours underneath the supervisor's license working as
(12:06):
a marriage, Family and Child therapists. So an MFT is
what I was not an l MFT. LMFT is licensed
Marriage and Family Therapists. MFT is marriage and family therapists.
As I worked under that license, I did diagnose, I
did treatment plans, and I see clients regularly. My goal
(12:27):
was never ever to obtain licensing ever, I did not
go to college and say I want to become a
licensed therapist. Let me put a disclaimer out there. A
licensed therapist, there's nothing wrong with that. There are absolutely effective,
amazing therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and life coaches absolutely amazing.
(12:51):
It's all subjective. What works for where you are in
your life, what works best for the season you're in,
What is it that you need, and what clinician or
coach is best fit for what you have going on
the season you're in, and whose tools and principles will
most be effective for where you're trying to be and
for your healing. That's what it boils down to. Neither
(13:12):
is better. One's license and one's not. For me, I
have all of the training, and I have the academia,
and I have the education. I'm gonna say it one
last time, I had zero desire to ever become licensed.
As a young girl. I've always created my own lanes.
I'm a disruptor. Y'all can't see that by now. I've
(13:34):
always been the woman that said, Hey, if everyone's doing left,
then I want to go create right. If everyone's doing black,
I want to go create white. I'm doing it now.
It worked for me. So my goal was to be
able to create a huge platform and be able to
heal people, bless people at a large level, not to
(13:56):
be licensed or bill insurance, diagnosed, or tree or have patience.
I don't do or have any of those. I provide
effective tools, principles, and I have clients and I have sessions,
and that is exactly what I do.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Why did you start off not wanting to be licensed
where most people would be licensed in it. I have
friends who've gotten license, have experienced some things with what
you have to do want your license, and have said
I'm okay with not renew when you're not going forward
or whatever.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Right, but wait, say that again, I'll run that back.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
So I have friends who've been licensed that have said,
you know what, I'd rather do it the other way
because their battle with insurances and how they're paid is
a conversation. But most people start off wanting to be licensed.
Why did you start off not wanting to be licensed?
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Because I knew that it would create barriers for me
in the way that I want to be able to
approach my clients. I knew that, for example, when I
was working under a license a supervision license as an MFT,
not an LMFT. I had a client. They came in,
(15:01):
a young woman who experienced sexual abuse, and because I'm
working under a license, I had to make sure that
I followed those licenses, ethics and laws in the sense
of not confidentiality. I do that now as a as
a life coach and not as boundaries. But there were
moments where she needed a hug because she was having
(15:25):
a lot of triggers and she was experiencing a lot
of her sexual abuse in a way that she needed
to be supported. And of course I asked, you know,
is it okay if I hug you in this moment?
Is that okay? I would ask my clients now, And
she said, I'm not ready for that hug. No problem.
A few months went on and I asked her again, Hey,
(15:47):
you know it's Is it okay if I hug you?
Was our last session we were actually ending our term together,
and she was like, yeah, like I'm actually ready for
that hug. Now, as a licensed clinician, you are taught
in school ethically that you do not hug embrace your
(16:08):
clients at all. If y'all have ever experienced therapy, I
have that's something that's a no no. It's just something
you don't do unless you, of course acts, But it's
a very very thin line. My approach as a life coach.
I'm very loving, I'm very nurturing. I hug, I say
I love you, have a good day at the end
of our sessions. And those small things that I'm able
(16:30):
to do as a life coach have been life changing
for my clients. I've had clients, after giving them a hug,
stay in my office for twenty more minutes just crying
and bond their eyes out, saying, you have no idea
how much I needed that hug. Doc. I've had clients
that I've said I love you, I'm proud of you.
Well have said my mother my father has never said
those words to me, and that has been the catalyst
(16:51):
to their healing. Some folks don't need to just come
and just talk. Some people do. Some people that talk
therapy is their breakthrough, and I completely advocate for that
if that's what you need for some people, they do
just need to be nurtured and love through their pain.
Some folks trauma has completely broken them and has callous
them to where only love is what can break down
(17:14):
those barriers of callous of their heart being hardened because
they've never experienced that type of nurturing and love. And
so again, everybody has different things that they need. It's
about us not focusing on who is better or worse,
or titled or not titled. It's how can we serve
the people that we all are collectively trying to make
(17:36):
sure it gets tools, gets healing, gets therapy. If you're
a therapist, gets coaching, if you're a coach, how can
we make sure those people get what they need? And
let's take the focus away from the practitioners or the coaches.
Are you effective? Are you changing and healing lives? If so,
run those plays. If not, get more training, get more practice,
(17:59):
or get up under somebody who can teach you how
to do it effectively. Because really, at the end of
the day, that's all that we all are trying to do.
And I want people to know. I want them to
choose what works best for you, not just only as
the patient or the client, but as the clinician or
the coach, which lane works best for you. I don't
want my hands tied behind my back. I'll land on
(18:20):
this as a little girl. I didn't need to just talk, y'all.
I needed love. I needed someone to see me. I
needed someone to hold my hand. I needed someone to
pat me on the back. I wanted someone to sit
with me, grab my little cheeks and say, listen, I
love you with your hurt self, with your pain self,
which you traumaself, with your abandoned self. I got you,
so I can provide those same principles that work for me.
(18:46):
I'm able to do in my lane that I've created
and in my capacity, and I've been doing it eighteen
years and I'm effective and it has made me the
most sout out psychology expert life coach in the world today.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
You say to those people one thing, What do you
say to those people like you told us what you
studied and what you did in the schooling that you
got and the classes that you take. But you know,
when I said I did a deep dive, some people
were like, well, how can she tell me about my
marriage when she hasn't been married, or how can she
tell me about my family or my kids when she
hasn't been through that even though you studied it and
you got your degree in it. So what do you
(19:21):
say to those people?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
So you's gonna cook the whole the whole interview, just
gonna cook all your questions because you know what, because
tell them that we talked about this pre.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
But when I say with like you know, and I
looked at it wasn't like, you know, two years ago.
This is like a week ago to like Jesus Christ,
y'all trying to stomp out the shin shine Bryan, like
my next did the Philly Sixers. But God, yeah, and
we know shout out the Philadelphia.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
And we know that's not gonna happen. You know, that's
just not gonna You can't have what God has given me.
It don't work like that. And you can't be in
my lane. You couldn't ride in this lane if I
gave it the opportunity to. So whatever star you wishing on, baby,
wish a little bigger, because that's not going to happen.
But your question was, what what do I think about
people who say I'm not married? So how can I
teach folks? So this is the thing I do not
(20:04):
teach people how to be married. Marriage is between you
and your partner. That's your agreement, that's your covenant, and
however you to decide to create and curate your marriage.
I can't teach you that. What I teach people is
how to get out of their own way. Because happy,
healed people make happy healed marriages. Miserable. Unhappy people create
(20:25):
miserable marriages. Trauma out folks create trauma bonds. Healed people
create healed bonds. I teach you, Envy, how do you
process through your trauma so you don't bleed on your wife?
I teach you, Lauren, how do you get out of
your daddy issues? Not saying you have them, your daddy issues,
cruential issues. Okay, well your dob I'm on point today,
out of your daddy issues, right, so that you don't
(20:45):
point and project your pain onto this man who is
loving the hell out of you and doesn't deserve that.
If I could teach you how to heal those and
how to get out of your way with that, then
I have helped you become a better woman for yourself,
which in return, it's going to do what benefit the
collective of that marriage. No one can teach people how
to be married. We teach you how to get out
(21:07):
of your own way so you and your partner can
be healthy. That's it, Because no matter how much we
teach you. The proper too is a marriage. If you
are traumaed out and your abandoned and a sabotage in
this thing, those tools will not be effective until I
help you get out of your way.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
So I want to ask this question, and I want
to go back to the degree thing because I have
something to ask before we move from that. So on
that right, on that self sabotage. There. Another conversation in
your community of work is with people from like you
don't have the educational background that they're like out here
searching for or whatever.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Right, wait, say that again.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So with people debating whether you have your degrees and
all this stuff, right, the biggest thing is is like,
in a normal situation, if because I've heard you say
that you're dealing with your own like wounds of like
being abandoned, and like, how you will self sabotage in
certain situations?
Speaker 4 (21:55):
How I have I used to?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So a lot of people who in
your lane, they're like, okay, if I know that personally
about myself, I depend on my education to be able
to put that to the side and give you the tools.
And I know some people are upset because they're like, well,
they're trying to say you don't have the education, but
then you also have your own issues in your real life.
So how are you separating the two of one thing?
(22:17):
Is their legend is not there?
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Yeah, I got you. I hear the question. So the
work that I've done on my abandonment that has created
a healing in me and really allowed me to identify
my pain pockets right so to where I don't sabotage anymore.
I'm able to have emotional intelligence, high functionality and communicate
with you even as a friend, to say, look, you
(22:40):
know how you show up in this relationship, Lauren. It's
triggering me. And in the past I would have sabotage,
are just left or not even had a conversation. But
I want to talk about this because I honor and
I love our friendship. And so when you do X,
Y and Z, this is how it makes me feel
identifying my emotion and these are the things that I
need from you as my best friend. Can you commit
(23:03):
to those things? That's a healing person who's talking. That
is where I am now. Okay. Sabotaging was something I
did as a young girl because I didn't even understand
that I was sabotaging because I was still trying to
get in contact with my pain. I was still trying
to figure out how abandon it was impacting me. So
the tools that I used to be able to get
myself from self sabotaging to communicating and being high functioning
(23:25):
and having emotional intelligence and mending this relationship and letting
you know what I need because now I have awareness
of who I am as a woman. I'm aware of
my pain pockets, I'm aware of my triggers. Those are
all the tools that I teach. Those are all the
tools that are in my book, Live Your Promise. And
so I'm teaching folks how to get out of their
own way because there was a time where I was
(23:47):
in my way. And what made it challenging for me
to heal, y'all, was I was in relationships with people
who enabled it because they weren't leaving me. It didn't
matter what I did. They weren't going nowhere. They were
still putting rings on my finger, they were still wanting
to marry me, they were still loving the hell out
of me. And that enabling mechanism doesn't give folks an
(24:09):
excuse to show up trauma out to still show up
in your dysfunction. You still have a responsibility to love
yourself enough, respect yourself enough to say, let me identify
what is going on in me, even though this person's
allowing it that I know is not effective for the
collective of the relationship or myself.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
You think that that was like them still coming back.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Was that their ego of like, you know, men want
to be able to conquer, to be able to change
and sit you down and you know all those things
that come with like when you're strong.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Or could it be because he was just trying to
love you through your problems.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I mean I was gonna say, or was it the opposite?
Like what did you discover?
Speaker 4 (24:44):
More? You know what? I think that God just really
blessed me with amazing people in my life. Like I've
had some amazing parents, I've had amazing partners who I've
been in relationship with. I've had friends that just love
me down. And I'd like to say that that's the
reflection of who I am and how I love. I
(25:05):
love deep, I love hard. I will love you out
of your shit. I will love you out of your shit.
I'm like that with my clients. And so I just
had men who they just had the bandwidth to love
me through my shit. And that taught me that you
can have all the tools, you can have the best therapist,
(25:26):
the best coach, but if you don't have love, healing
is nearly impossible. I don't care what anyone says. You
would be a highly functioning transactional person with like an encyclopedia,
with all the tools and the effectiveness and this is
how it works and the principles, but internally homeless as hell,
(25:49):
because you won't have the ability to attach to love
to securely attached, not anxiously attached or avoidantly attached. You
would be a matchin as homeless. And so you know,
people just really loved me through my trauma and that
was amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
I was enabling you, Like, what were you doing because
the first.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Time they weren't setting boundaries, They weren't saying bound they
weren't saying but at what point?
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Because you know when people think of enabling, you think
of drugs, right, you thinking enable them to use drugs
and enabling them to gamble, enabling them to do something
that you feel like will be hurtful to their life.
So what was your.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Enabling them, not setting boundaries with me. You know, folks,
some people bless you. Some people fall so deep and
love envy that they start loving the person more than themselves,
which Puzzny clips up from them realizing that there needs
to be a boundary set right now.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Most women want that, don't. Most women want somebody that's
going to love them, damn there, more than themselves.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
Absolutely I do. I do, so let me speak for myself.
I do. But I want, let me say this, as
that man is loving me more than he loves himself,
I want there to be a healthy balance of him
loving himself enough to say, baby, I'm not going to
leave you, but this shit right here, there's gonna be
(27:10):
a boundary put up here, because see, I do respect myself.
Even though I love you, I love myself too as
a man, and you just can't talk to me like
that because that emasculates me. And I'm vertical and who
I am, And the reason why you love me so
much and the reason why I can carry you is
because of the fact that I respect myself and that
(27:31):
I'm vertical, and so you cannot emasculate me, meaning shrink
me and expect me to be big enough to carry you.
That is a man who has boundaries. He's not sabotage
and he's not abandoning you. But it takes a heel
to woman to say, you know what, you're right, let
(27:51):
me work on this. Show me how to work on this,
Teach me what that looks like, because maybe I've never
done that, maybe I've never had a father. It takes
a certain woman, women who don't have the bandwidth, the
awareness to healing, to respect that kind of man should
have enough respect for themself to leave, not sabotage, but
(28:14):
leave that relationship because she will emasculate him. But a
man who was functioning at that high level won't tolerate that,
at least for not long. And you shouldn't want to
a man who's loving the hell out of you. I mean,
you've got to learn that. That is what made me
want to be better. I wonder what made me want
to be better.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
It'd be that right there, Because a lot of people
will not do like the therapy stuff and all of that.
But like, if you get with the right person where
you're like, it makes you really face your own stuff,
you're like hold on, Like then you start kind of
working backwards off of lif Yes, Oh so wait, and
you talked about mother wounds too, because a lot of
people talk about daddy issues, and I think that definitely
(28:54):
is a thing. But I don't think people talk enough,
especially with black girls, about mother wombs and how that
transit and sense of how you deal with your relationships
friends and you like your marital relationships too.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Absolutely, we talk about men with mommy issues and women
with daddy issues, right, we always cross section and we
don't talk about women who have mommy issues and how
that shows up and impacts friendships, how it also shows
up and plays a role.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
In how.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
You know. Some women are okay with dealing with merry men.
Some women are okay with being the side chick. Sometimes
it's not because daddy went there. Sometimes it's because mommy
was competing with you at a young age. Sometimes because
mom abandoned you and you have an internal dislike or
hatred towards women because of the wounds that your mother created.
(29:43):
So sometimes women are saying, if I could be with
this married man and hurt his wife, then it's my
way of saying f all women, because my mother is
a woman who I despise. We have to look at
all moving parts when we are helping our when people
unpack their stuff. We can't just say, because you know
(30:04):
you're a womanizer, automatically mommy issues, because you process your
emotions in a certain way, Automatically, daddy issues, Daddy wasn't there.
I have to be able to say, all right, Envy,
who was in the house. And I always say this,
just because a parent is present doesn't mean they don't
present more. Trauma sometimes learn behavior of learning how to
(30:24):
become a womanizer is what creates a womanizer and a man.
Seeing your father womanize your mother teaches you that that
is a normalcy of being a man. It glamorizes it
for a lot of little boys, and they grow up
loving and admiring their father, showing up in the admiration
of what they see, never being told, nah son, this
(30:47):
is what I'm doing, but this is not the right
way to do it. Well, let me ask you.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
So you know, we were talking about it earlier. We
were talking about Neo and his relationships. Right, what is
three or four women? How do you look at that
relationship for those individual women?
Speaker 4 (31:02):
So polyamorous to me is a lifestyle. So it's a
choice right, it's nothing in secrecy. It's not woman saying hey,
I'm dating a man who has a woman or a wife,
and I'm doing it in secrecy. And so this is feeding,
you know, my trauma of being able to be hidden
because I've always been hidden as a little girl, nobody
(31:24):
ever seen me. So this allows me to be in
my norm of never being seen. Right, that's one reason
why women will become the side check. Polyamorous is a lifestyle,
So it's not for me, but I don't see anything
wrong with it for the folks who are choosing it
at all, if that makes sense. I don't think polyamorous
is a lifestyle that is deemed bad. I think it
(31:46):
is only bad when things are deceptive. When there's lies
and there's deception, then it's totally totally out of pocket.
It's completely unhealthy. But if this is an open relationship
and we are all happy, here, are y'all happy? Are
you healthy? Day? My thing? I'm territorial. I want all
minds to myself, and I want you territory over me.
You would be unhappy with me in a house full
(32:08):
of anybody outside of me, everybody being happy.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
And by the way, all this stuff that we're talking about,
even though it's not like directly mentioned in your book,
your book Live Your Purpose, the way that you set
up part promise, I'm sorry, part one, two and three
with like the building of your house. Yes, all of
this kind of goes into it because you spend a
lot of time on like accountability, understanding what's actually happened
versus It's not so like I don't want people to
be like, oh she there for the book, then they
(32:31):
going into all the stuff. No, the book gives you
like a very good foundation of when the stuff is happening.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
To break down parts of the book, thinking, feeling, and behavior.
Right now, how does this make up someone's personality?
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Yeah, so your three part house is exactly you know
who you are, how you think, how you feel, how
you behave. When it's in alignment, you are healthy, you
are a whole, and you are manifesting. You're in alignment.
Manifestation happens at the point of alignment. So how you
think I talk about the first part is as a
man thinking in his heart? So is he right? And
the Bible also says think only on the thoughts that
(33:03):
are prosperous, positive, and praiseworthy. If you wouldn't pray for it,
why would you think it? Because we do become our thoughts.
Our thoughts then create an emotion. Right. And so if
I always say if a person can't govern their emotions,
they can't govern anything. Because your emotions is what creates
your appetite. So womanizing, cheating, those are all appetites. Those
(33:28):
are our emotionally driven behaviors. If you can't govern how
you feel or regulate your emotions, you will always be reactory.
They did a study where it shows that folks who
are in jail right or in prison or will have
committed crimes, have less ability to regulate their emotions. That
means that their decision making at that time was emotionally reactory.
(33:52):
It wasn't something that they processed before they produce. It
wasn't any emotion that they regulated and then said, let
me respond in this way because I calculate the So
emotions is something we have to learn to identify, regulate
so that our appetite and how we show up could
be in alignment with what we want to do, who
we want to be in our goals, and both of
those create our behaviors. Our behaviors are the only thing
(34:14):
that creates results if we can get them thoughts and
those emotions in alignment, how we behave will create the
result that we want. And so I teach you not
only the tools on this is what you do, but
I have a toolkit at the end of every chapter
that says, this is how you use the tool. You
use this hammer to build this house, use this hammer
to destroy this one if it's not serving you. And
(34:36):
I use the Moses journey as a metaphor in the book, how.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Many times you have to open your own book and
work through it again?
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Because the claim the conversations online in the last couple
of weeks, are you actively like going back to your
own practices for yourself?
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Though in our real.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Line, I stand on these principles. I don't even have
to go back because these principles are my principles every day.
I'm always reprogramming, meditate every day for twenty minutes. I'm definitely,
you know, scripture inclined. I mean, I stand on faith.
Faith is an action word. I'm always making sure that
my thoughts are the thoughts that I want to create.
(35:12):
I'm always reminding myself that everything is working for me.
That you know, to call a thing that isn't as
though I wanted to be. I'm always making sure that
I'm obedient to what God is telling me to do.
I even look, listen, I've had to pray a couple
of times this week. I said, God, So what I
want to say I'm being honest, I said, God, what
I want to say is this. I'm going to pray
(35:34):
on it, and in about thirty minutes, I'm going to
check in with with my decision, making, my emotions, my
appetite to see if this is I prayed on it,
and God gave me three or four people's names, and
he said would they respond like this?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
And I said, damn it no, Because.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Said, so, what is your answer? I said, but God?
He said, remember Moses. I told Moses to speak to
the rock and he hit it, and because Moses wasn't obedient,
he got to the Promised Land and didn't make it
into the Promised Land. Do you want to be in
your wilderness for forty more years or do you want
to get into your promise land? I said, I kind
of want both. I want to rip them a new
fucking tale and I want to get in the Promised Land.
(36:15):
He said, you can't have both because you can't be Luke.
Warn't make a choice. So I willed back. I use
the tools that I provided. My book gave your promise.
I emotionally regulated, I govern myself, and I said I'm
not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
So this brings me to the question I was trying
to ask a bit back the conversation about your doctorate.
Because people can't find your dissertation online. How are you
responding to that in this new era of your life?
Like what is the answer to number one? Like why
isn't in online? I've also seen cleians of like there's
an alleged like chairman from your university saying that you
didn't finish things whatever, Like can you clear that up
(36:54):
for the people who are hearing it from one side?
Speaker 4 (36:56):
But now we have to So I'm going to say this.
I'm going to clear it up once on here, I'm
not doing it again, And I'm clearing it up for
my doc squad, for my fan base, from my audience
who deserve to hear me address it, for the folks
who have already made up their mind to not like
me or not understand me. Listen, I don't give a
fuck what your narrative is. I would like you to
(37:16):
recreate it, double down on it, and run that shit,
because I don't give a fuck about it. Now to
my doc squad, my fan base, my folks. You know,
my village is very simple. I went to a school
Augusa University, completed an entire program. I went back online
to get my official transcripts because I was applying to
(37:40):
a law school many years ago to be a professor there,
and I had to provide my transcripts right to get hired.
And I went to contact the school and say, hey,
I need my fenicial transcripts. I need my entire thing.
And there was no school. I was like, okay, I'm confused.
I google it says this school has been shut down.
Oh well, they got to have records. I mean they
(38:02):
were accredited when I attended the school. They were accredited
when I finished a program. I go and look, there
is a third party that has the records. Where I
contact the third party, that third party only holds records
for two years. I was past my two years, so
that means that I had no access to records to anything. Now,
whatever the school did with the transcripts for us, all
(38:26):
of us students. Whatever they did with dissertations, we don't know.
I even went as far as, you know, contacting my
cohorts other students, and they said, look, you know, we're
running too the same issue. We're trying to get our transcripts,
we're trying to get our information. And then I contacted
you know, financial aid. You can't make up financial aid.
(38:49):
It shows that I paid for a doctoral program alongside
my master's program and my undergrad program. And they said,
we can fully refund you your money. Under one circumstance.
We giving your money back. You don't get credit for
not a class, a course, a program you took in
this university, at this this institute. So do you want
(39:13):
us to rEFInd you or do you want us not?
I said no because I didn't want to risk the
chance of them saying, well, we're going to give you
back your money and it wipes out your entire program.
And so that's just as simple as it is. Luckily,
I had, you know, do this with all of the schools.
(39:33):
I had downloaded from the actual student portal my transcripts
at that time, and I was able to get all
just about all of my transcripts, including up to like dissertation,
but everything else, there's no there's just no holding take
for any of our records, which I think is completely
(39:54):
completely effed up.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
You're this week, Like I said, she has no records.
They just want to hate you regardless.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
Now that's fine, And it's not even that there's no
records that I don't. The school had a third party
that carry their records only for a limit of two years.
So it's not me, it's any student that attended Argus,
whether they say they say student was halfway through the
program and they just want to take those units in
(40:23):
transfer them because you can the school was accredited. They
don't have records for that unless that student was smart
enough like myself to print out records from an online
student portal and say, look it, I have this and
only that. I also kept all of my syllabus. When
you keep your syllabus from any course you've taken, then
you are due credit for each syllabus. It has a
(40:45):
date on there. It gives you the whole curriculum of
what you've studied and what it was about and the course.
And so I just happen to be smart enough to
keep all of my syllabus to be able to print
out my own records. The only concern is, you know,
the official ones would need to come from, like my
degree from Calsey University Northeast. Does my psychology degree come
(41:05):
from that? Are my masters? Right? Those schools are still operating,
so I can go in and say, hey, how you doing, Lauren?
I need to print out my official transcripts. But again,
it doesn't How can I say it doesn't affect me?
Because if I chose to go get a license as
an LMFT, I have my master's and marriage and child therapists,
I have my hours. I can just take that and say, hey,
(41:28):
let me submit these for license ear and I want
to go sit for my exam and I'll have to
do a study. I don't need a doctorate in counseling
psychology to go get licensed as a therapist. That's what
we're all missing. So if I just want to go
get licensed, and we said, hey, the school shut down,
so they're not gonna let you sit for licensing because
of that doctorate program school. While I have a master's
(41:52):
at a at an institute that is not shut down,
that is a credit out of meditation.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
This week, they're gonna be on your as I didn't.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Do everything on you. They do that it was like
a plagiarism conversation. They were trying to say that. It
was like you were discussed from the universe.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
It's a lot.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
It's been a lot. It's been a lot of false narrative.
And again, I you know, I my thing is, I
don't address any narrative. I like people to have whatever
narrative that they like.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Does that happen?
Speaker 4 (42:17):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Business Wise though, it hasn't.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
I mean, I'm I'm booked and busy. I'm still on
my speaking tour. I'm on my book tour. Book my book. Yeah,
this is my second book. I got a double book deal.
I you know, want to thank Charlet Migne, Charlemagne from
when he's not here, Charlotte.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Magne, thank you.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
You know what I mean, Huh, I'm published now published
a house Random House. I want to thank him because
when folks were putting in their bid to give me
a book deal, Charlemagne what his publishing company was one
that was in the bidding war, and I'm grateful for that.
I want to thank him because you know, I appreciate that,
So no, it doesn't my clients. I still have a
(42:59):
four caselow. I actually have a waiting list. Since the
rhetoric online has inflamed, I actually have people who have
just been booking sessions even more because now they have
an interest in seeing what my approaches and seeing how
my sessions go. And so I've had to have other
coaches that I have that work for the Doctor Bran
Institute take on some of those clients. Some of those
(43:21):
clients don't want to see other folks. They want to
see me when I leave this interview, I was just
telling my team that I have a couple of sessions
that I have to do in between y'all at my
next interview. So I'm booked and busy. And what people
don't understand is this, listen, I'm grateful for the free marketing.
(43:42):
I'm just keeping it real because most people knew who
I were, who I am, and who I was. But
for the ones who didn't, they now know. And if
anybody who has made it very far in this industry knows,
good or bad, attention is still good attention when you
have a brand, And so again it's about how you
(44:03):
use it. It's about you know, if you choose to
address it, how are you going to address it? It's
also about you know, when you have folks who are
keeping your face and name recognition extremely large, where are
you driving those people too? Are you driving them to
you just responding to these people, which does nothing for
(44:25):
your clients, for your brand and for your name, or
are you driving them to your purpose, which is healing, speaking,
my sessions, my book and all the things that I do.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Did it bother you when you had and I don't
maybe maybe you didn't have it when you had friends
in this industry that were on your side and you
see them changing. Did that happen to you with everything
that's going on? Did you see people that you you
thought you were cool with changing, whether they're you know,
people on TV or just friends in the industry?
Speaker 4 (44:51):
You mean with this situation? Absolutely? I love that because
it actually showed how many people really were ten toes
down for me. I'm serious. I was like, Yo, you
know what, I knew people rock with me. I'm like,
but people are rocking with me. You know? There were
you know, people who went and did live responses on
(45:12):
social media and was like, Doc, I need you to
address this I'm like, I'm not addressing shit.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
You know, maybe if someone asks me on an interview
and I decide to, I will, but it would be
for my people, not for the small group of folks
who are extremely low functioning because they're not reading terminology,
they're not doing their research, and they're showing their card
that this is a jealousy envy thing because someone created
their own lane and you're in a lane that has
(45:42):
you stuck in what you've decided. I'm not in a
box and I'm not going to be. And so a
lot of folks did that. And then I have a
lot of friends who are you know, A listers and
clients who are a listeners who do have a brand
and I understand that, who have reached out and said
I want to make a statement. How can I do
(46:03):
it so it doesn't hurt you?
Speaker 2 (46:04):
Right?
Speaker 4 (46:05):
I love that doc? What do you need from me?
Do you need me to say this? Do you need
me to vouch for you? And usually I say no,
you know, I'm okay, I just you reaching out is enough,
But these times, like you just said, MB show you
you know who who solid? And I really I really
just had folks that showed up and showed out, and
(46:26):
I had a team. I mean, I got to say
listen as soon as all this hit my team, hey house,
you know, my my publicist, Lakeisha. I mean, everybody texts
like hop on a call, and it wasn't hop on
a call? What's going on? Is this true? Is it not?
It was? How are you doing? Because you're on stages
(46:50):
every other day, you're on your book tour. You are
you know, booked and busy? How are you doing? How
can we help you continue to process through this? And
so again? You know, I know this sounds bananas, but
people who are successful understand this. This is free marketing.
(47:11):
I get attention online that people pay for. And I
tell God all the time, I said, God, whatever you did,
whatever it fascinate and never turned. I said, if I
wear something, if I put a bobby pin in my hair,
if my you know, if my eyelashes is at three
(47:33):
o'clock and out of four o'clock. Baby, they are going
crazy in online. And I made a joke this morning
with my assistant head of hair. He mentioned posting or
doing something. I said no, I said no, I said,
we own the internet. And he started dying laughing and
he said, yes you do.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
And so I'm great.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
I'm really I'm grateful. I'm really grateful for it. And
you know, like Shaquille O'Neil shocks one of my good friends,
and I remember a couple of years back, there was
some it been NonStop, it was something else going on,
and he called me to check on me and said,
what's up, Champ. You're good. I said, yeah, I'm good.
He said, listen, good or bad attention? Good or bad attention? Dog,
(48:13):
it's good attention. You want it all? You want it all?
I said, I know, you know, but but it is
a slight adjustment because you know, you do have I
have to work on more controlling my snap back, you know,
because my because you know, my mouthpiece and the way
I'm set up, I could say things that I have business.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Sometimes I think you do it in a way that
you know, it's it's very it fits who you are
and kind of what you're putting out at this point
a little elevated, you know, every now and then. But
I think for me, I'm glad to hear you say
people are actually calling your real life and being like,
are you okay? Because when I'm reading the book and
you're going from you're thinking to your feelings to like
behaving and how you have to act in real life,
(48:57):
and then in real life you're experiencing this.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
I'm like, I know she's human though.
Speaker 4 (49:01):
One hundred percent, but let's be realistic. Let's talk about
the big, big, big dogs. Let's talk about the Oprahs.
Majority of black folks for some reason, don't like her.
You think oh is sitting there thinking about how she's
gonna clap back at somebody.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
She'd be in her guarden with baby baby.
Speaker 4 (49:21):
I just seen her and gel in Fashion Week. Mama
Olden lost about thirty pounds. She is killing it. You
think that Tyler Perry claps back at everybody online. He
was at Cardi b concert two nights in a row, Honey,
He's he's courtside at the game, he's writing, creating a movie.
He has Tyler Perry's studios. Really, and I'm gonna go
(49:44):
to another name that people absolutely hate, but they are
one of the most richest famous families out there, the Kardashians.
You think that family sits around the dinner table and
has meetings about how these how many folks don't like them.
They're planning their next deal. They're playing their next partnership.
Kim's trying to figure out how she can get another
(50:05):
partnership with skims Kylie's talking about makeup and cosmetics. Chris
Jenner is on a private jet somewhere in freaking Mikono's
with her. I don't want to say why am but
her young man, But so what I'm saying is when
you look at the people Obama, how many black folks
love and then hate him because he didn't do enough.
(50:27):
But he did do And I mean, so you got
all the most successful, affluent, influential people who are hated
the most. And if God said to me loud and clear, baby,
I'm gonna give you much territory. And if you think
you're gonna occupy this level of territory and that people
(50:49):
are not gonna attempt to possess it, you have lost
your mind. Then you're just not ready for that level
of bigness. Because all the folks who are moving in
that space, being in that space, they've had to learn
what I'm teaching and live your promise, how to think
a certain way, feel a certain way, and behave a
certain way so that the outside chatter doesn't affect how
(51:12):
they live, because you don't put in all this work
to get here and then live in fucking dogma. I don't,
not at all. I'm gonna still run my place the
way I want to do them, the way that I've
created them, in my lane that I've created.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
That's it. There you have it.
Speaker 3 (51:30):
The new book is out right. Now live your promise.
We appreciate you for joining us, being so open, of course,
so much. Anytime you see up here or out and about,
we appreciate love definitely.
Speaker 4 (51:40):
Do you know I'm gonna come here and bring the truth.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
Congratulations on the book. It's good.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
Thank you, Doctor Cheyenne Bryant. And she's coming back at all.
Good morning, every day, breakfast.
Speaker 4 (51:56):
Club, finish for y'all. Done,
Every day.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
The Breakfast Club finish for y'all done.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Everybody is ej en Vy, Jesse, Hilarrys, Charlamagne the guy.
We are the Breakfast Club Law on the roasteres here
as well. We got a special guests in the building.
Her new book is out right now live your promise.
Ladies and gentlemen, Doctor Cheyenne Briant, welcome back.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Listen Breakfast Club, fam I love I love being here.
I'd be seeing seeing you out at the Diddy Trial,
seeing you out at the boosy gz up. Let me
tell you there was music playing and then there was
music playing.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Can you tell the people he really be DJing?
Speaker 4 (00:39):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
No, I go out when he go, chloices. I go
because I always have a good time. But they be
trying to play with him up here, like he don't
be doing what he's doing.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Ivy, did I not come behind that stage you to
say listen, the entire party concert was jumping because he
was on fire. At the DJ boo, I looked like
who is that? And I was like, ah, DJ, yeah,
you killed that.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I think you need a new name, right you Doctor
Shy and Brian here, but you need like a shy
shy because she was shy shy that weekend. No, no,
you don't understand every boosy verse and record she knew
from head to.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
You talking too much.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Every Jesus, every yo, you have to stay just start
off there right, So you know, Jez, I'm the realist nigga.
She like, I'm the real doctor in here.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
You're already see that's why you got to have everybody
sign of nda.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You know, I love that kind of hybrid.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
I gotta be able to have a good time. I
gotta be able to be relatable to people.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Why do the people be mad when you are out
having a good time? Because that made me think of
when you went to Jez's concert and it was a
whole discourse about your outfit at the concert.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
So, Jez, they weren't mad because the doc was having
a good time. They were mad because of what I wore.
It was black tied to me, it wasn't black tied
to some other people. And you know, this is the thing.
I have agents over a couple things. One of those
happened to be me and what I wear, And so
I'm gonna always wear what I want to wear. And again,
(02:08):
you know, my clients, my doc squad, my fan base,
those are my people, those are my village. My goal
is not to sit up here and try to convince
folks who have already made up their mind to either
misunderstand me or dislike me, to like me. I will
spend my entire life having to continuously convince them to
like understand. And that's just a responsibility that I'm not
(02:30):
going to take on. I don't think anybody should do that.
We all have our village, and our job is to cater, to,
love and nurture our village. Once you start going outside
of that, then you have to spend your whole life
trying to make sure these people continuously like you, and
then you live in dogma, and dogma will eat your
ass up alive. And it's just not worth it. It's
just it's a bill that you don't want to ever
(02:52):
have to pay.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Does it bother you at all?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Which part the way?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Do people attack you? Because you get attacked a lot,
you know, and you know you know it's crazy, you don't.
I don't realize the amount that you get attacked. And
we're gonna dive all into it until you come up
here about your book. And I'm started just doing research
in your book, and I'm like, God, damn, did they
not like doctor Cheyenne Bryant.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I'd be seeing it in real time, So.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Does it doesn't bother me. It comes with the territory.
And I think that any of us who are either
in the industry and media, a celebrity who has a
certain level of fame, or even just came from the
inner city right and knows what it is to be
an attractive woman in the hood. In the inner city,
you get a lot of rhetoric, and you understand that
(03:36):
the outside chatter is a part of being successful. And
then I said this with humility, but to truth. And
you add on beauty, you add on being articulated or educated,
and you know, beating a lot of the statistics and
the odds that come from being an inner city. You know,
little girl boy, it comes with the territory. So I
always say that, you know, Jesus served the church, died
(04:00):
for the church, and the church Judas his disciple, set
him up, the people he loved and he serves set
him up to be crucified. So why do we personalize
when people I eat our disciples are folks who are
never our disciples. And our people have an issue with us,
try to take us down or set us up for failure.
(04:21):
That is a part of being great. That is a
part of people witnessing you be in your lane and
do what you do and them saying I either don't
have the capacity to do so I would love to
do it. And what I've learned, y'all is that people
don't always want to occupy your space. They want your territory.
(04:43):
And if you understand that, then you occupy the territory
that God has given you because no one can take
what God has given. You can't miss what's yours. And
if your faith, which is an action word, stands on that,
then what are you personalizing when people have an issue
with you? One Number two literally pay for the kind
of Internet attention that I get. They create storylines for
(05:07):
the headlines and the blog attention and the virility that
I get. I don't pay for any of it. I
just show up and be me, and so no, it
doesn't bother me. What I will say is there's times
where doctor Brian has to check Cheyenne on some of
my clapbacks because some of my clapbacks be like, you know, well,
(05:28):
your mama and I said, you can't say that. But
then I'm like, you can't, but I'm like, don't. So
it has stretched my bandwidth. It has really shown me
how emotionally intelligent I am. And it also has shown
me where I have some growth in the emotional maturity space.
When I'm thinking of clapping back or or saying something
(05:53):
that could really gut people.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Well, how does it feel? You know, because a lot
of the backlash come from people in your field, right
the doctor's therapist, life coaches, And what I say is
they say, the reason that you don't get questioned or
tested as much is because of your quote unquote looks.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
You know what ivy. I said this last time I
was on You might be my alter ego brother, because
some of the stuff you say is just right up
the alley of what needs to be addressed. So there's
pretty privilege, and I've learned that there's pretty punishment. And
I didn't really understand that term until I got into
my field. And I want to say this, I didn't
(06:31):
get it. I've been in my field for eighteen years.
I didn't get into this field to become famous, to
become a celebrity. I got in this field because I
was a little girl from the inner city who was
tenations determined to make it out, and I had a
lot of broken pieces in abandonment. And when God provided
me tools that helped me take my broken pieces and
make peace from it, go from my wilderness into my
promised land, which I talk about in my book, Live
(06:53):
Your Promise, I thought, wait a minute, I got to
make sure I give everybody to come in contact with
these principles because everyone deserves that freedom and that healing
that I'm experiencing what I call God's peace, all right,
And so with that, people got a whiff of it,
and you know, the fam base, the folks made me famous,
(07:14):
made me a celebrity. I did not grow up and say, hey,
I want to just listen. I'm a good looking woman.
I've had access to the industry for my entire life.
If I wanted to be famous, I would have went
maybe the actress route or the modeling route. Easy, easy
call for me. It would have been so easy. I've
never had an agent, I've never had a manager. So
(07:36):
what I'm saying is this came to me and I
had to continuously remind people I'm in a field where
I am taking on people's luggage. I am unpacking it,
and I am helping them process through their stuff so
they can have a better quality of life, they can
have mental health, and they can actually have tools to
sustain their well being. So none of that. No one
(07:59):
goes to college and gets multiple degrees to say I
want to be famous. Now do I love it here? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I'm grateful for it. I appreciate it. So another thing is,
you know, I created my own lane as a psychology
xper life coach. So when people see that, they went
into a group that wasn't a lane. They just fell
into being a part of a group. And they're looking
(08:25):
at this other woman who they're like, wait a minute.
You know she created her own lane and she's totally
killing it. It's like, Yo, there's only room for me
in the lane that I created. And I would like
if y'all put your blinker on when you're trying to
get over, because a lot of times they're trying to
just get over my lane. It's like, but doesn't work
like that. If folks would concentrate on either asking, buying books,
(08:49):
looking at my videos, booking a session to say, doc,
how did you do it. I'm not a gatekeeper. I
love putting people on the quickest way to walk this
through serving people. I'm in a service position as a
psychologexter life coach. I am serving people all day long.
As president of NAACP, the biggest civil rights organization in
(09:10):
Los Angeles for fourteen years. That is a service position.
We don't get paid to run a civil rights organization.
That is volunteer work I've done for fourteen years. I
am in a service position. I'm a commissioner at home
for assemblyman. I have been a Democratic California state delegate.
Those are all elected official servant positions. And so if
(09:34):
folks would focus on doc, how did you create your
own lane? I don't want to be you but dad,
but I want my own lane to occupy. I would
give them the tools like I'm doing in my book,
Live your promise about how I did it, how I
went from the hood to the hills. Was it hard? Yeah?
Is it possible? Absolutely? Am I the only one that
(09:55):
can do it?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Hell?
Speaker 4 (09:56):
No? The tools I use, if you apply it, you
would get this result, just like baking a cake.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Well, you don't I want to start off with because
doing research, I mean When I say the amount of
people attacking you, it just opened up a Pandora's box.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
I like Jesus.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Though people didn't like me, they don't like you.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Even they don't like you either sometimes.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Well, you know, I wanted to start with what you do.
The thing I see online is she doesn't she doesn't
do this under her license. She's not a quote unquote
real doctor. She has an honorary degree. She didn't earn it.
So let's talk about what you do as far as
being a life coach and a doctor. Do you have
a license for for what you do?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
So?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Well, what is a license needed?
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I love that what I do a license is not required.
One number two one, I was in my undergrad which
is a degree in psychology. My master's is a degree
in marriage, Family and Child therapy. My doctorate is in
counseling psychology. Those are all academic. I have four academic degrees.
The other one is in Pan African studies. There's two
(10:57):
honorary doctorates. One is in behavioral science, so you have
an earned doctor, yes, and the other ones is in humanitaris.
Honorary doctorates are to praise you and give you your
flowers for your body of work. Okay, they're not academic,
but it shows your body of work is effective enough
for them to honor you with an honorary doctorate. Now,
going back when I said I worked under a license,
(11:20):
see all of this is terminology. People would open up
their ears and do what school teaches therapists to do.
I'm not a therapist, but the group of licensed professionals
who have an issue with this, they teach you all
something called active listening. None of y'all seem to be
actively listening. Working under a license means I'm working under
(11:42):
a supervisor's license. If anyone went to school for therapy, psychiatrists, psychologists,
you have to accumulate practicum. You have to accumulate hours
before you can graduate. It's not an option. So I
accumulated thousands of hours underneath the supervisor's license working as
(12:06):
a marriage, Family and Child therapists. So an MFT is
what I was not an l MFT. LMFT is licensed
Marriage and Family Therapists. MFT is marriage and family therapists.
As I worked under that license, I did diagnose, I
did treatment plans, and I see clients regularly. My goal
(12:27):
was never ever to obtain licensing ever, I did not
go to college and say I want to become a
licensed therapist. Let me put a disclaimer out there. A
licensed therapist, there's nothing wrong with that. There are absolutely effective,
amazing therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and life coaches absolutely amazing.
(12:51):
It's all subjective. What works for where you are in
your life, what works best for the season you're in,
What is it that you need, and what clinician or
coach is best fit for what you have going on
the season you're in, and whose tools and principles will
most be effective for where you're trying to be and
for your healing. That's what it boils down to. Neither
(13:12):
is better. One's license and one's not. For me, I
have all of the training, and I have the academia,
and I have the education. I'm gonna say it one
last time, I had zero desire to ever become licensed.
As a young girl. I've always created my own lanes.
I'm a disruptor. Y'all can't see that by now. I've
(13:34):
always been the woman that said, Hey, if everyone's doing left,
then I want to go create right. If everyone's doing black,
I want to go create white. I'm doing it now.
It worked for me. So my goal was to be
able to create a huge platform and be able to
heal people, bless people at a large level, not to
(13:56):
be licensed or bill insurance, diagnosed, or tree or have patience.
I don't do or have any of those. I provide
effective tools, principles, and I have clients and I have sessions,
and that is exactly what I do.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Why did you start off not wanting to be licensed
where most people would be licensed in it. I have
friends who've gotten license, have experienced some things with what
you have to do want your license, and have said
I'm okay with not renew when you're not going forward
or whatever.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Right, but wait, say that again, I'll run that back.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
So I have friends who've been licensed that have said,
you know what, I'd rather do it the other way
because their battle with insurances and how they're paid is
a conversation. But most people start off wanting to be licensed.
Why did you start off not wanting to be licensed?
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Because I knew that it would create barriers for me
in the way that I want to be able to
approach my clients. I knew that, for example, when I
was working under a license a supervision license as an MFT,
not an LMFT. I had a client. They came in,
(15:01):
a young woman who experienced sexual abuse, and because I'm
working under a license, I had to make sure that
I followed those licenses, ethics and laws in the sense
of not confidentiality. I do that now as a as
a life coach and not as boundaries. But there were
moments where she needed a hug because she was having
(15:25):
a lot of triggers and she was experiencing a lot
of her sexual abuse in a way that she needed
to be supported. And of course I asked, you know,
is it okay if I hug you in this moment?
Is that okay? I would ask my clients now, And
she said, I'm not ready for that hug. No problem.
A few months went on and I asked her again, Hey,
(15:47):
you know it's Is it okay if I hug you?
Was our last session we were actually ending our term together,
and she was like, yeah, like I'm actually ready for
that hug. Now, as a licensed clinician, you are taught
in school ethically that you do not hug embrace your
(16:08):
clients at all. If y'all have ever experienced therapy, I
have that's something that's a no no. It's just something
you don't do unless you, of course acts, But it's
a very very thin line. My approach as a life coach.
I'm very loving, I'm very nurturing. I hug, I say
I love you, have a good day at the end
of our sessions. And those small things that I'm able
(16:30):
to do as a life coach have been life changing
for my clients. I've had clients, after giving them a hug,
stay in my office for twenty more minutes just crying
and bond their eyes out, saying, you have no idea
how much I needed that hug. Doc. I've had clients
that I've said I love you, I'm proud of you.
Well have said my mother my father has never said
those words to me, and that has been the catalyst
(16:51):
to their healing. Some folks don't need to just come
and just talk. Some people do. Some people that talk
therapy is their breakthrough, and I completely advocate for that
if that's what you need for some people, they do
just need to be nurtured and love through their pain.
Some folks trauma has completely broken them and has callous
them to where only love is what can break down
(17:14):
those barriers of callous of their heart being hardened because
they've never experienced that type of nurturing and love. And
so again, everybody has different things that they need. It's
about us not focusing on who is better or worse,
or titled or not titled. It's how can we serve
the people that we all are collectively trying to make
(17:36):
sure it gets tools, gets healing, gets therapy. If you're
a therapist, gets coaching, if you're a coach, how can
we make sure those people get what they need? And
let's take the focus away from the practitioners or the coaches.
Are you effective? Are you changing and healing lives? If so,
run those plays. If not, get more training, get more practice,
(17:59):
or get up under somebody who can teach you how
to do it effectively. Because really, at the end of
the day, that's all that we all are trying to do.
And I want people to know. I want them to
choose what works best for you, not just only as
the patient or the client, but as the clinician or
the coach, which lane works best for you. I don't
want my hands tied behind my back. I'll land on
(18:20):
this as a little girl. I didn't need to just talk, y'all.
I needed love. I needed someone to see me. I
needed someone to hold my hand. I needed someone to
pat me on the back. I wanted someone to sit
with me, grab my little cheeks and say, listen, I
love you with your hurt self, with your pain self,
which you traumaself, with your abandoned self. I got you,
so I can provide those same principles that work for me.
(18:46):
I'm able to do in my lane that I've created
and in my capacity, and I've been doing it eighteen
years and I'm effective and it has made me the
most sout out psychology expert life coach in the world today.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
You say to those people one thing, What do you
say to those people like you told us what you
studied and what you did in the schooling that you
got and the classes that you take. But you know,
when I said I did a deep dive, some people
were like, well, how can she tell me about my
marriage when she hasn't been married, or how can she
tell me about my family or my kids when she
hasn't been through that even though you studied it and
you got your degree in it. So what do you
(19:21):
say to those people?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
So you's gonna cook the whole the whole interview, just
gonna cook all your questions because you know what, because
tell them that we talked about this pre.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
But when I say with like you know, and I
looked at it wasn't like, you know, two years ago.
This is like a week ago to like Jesus Christ,
y'all trying to stomp out the shin shine Bryan, like
my next did the Philly Sixers. But God, yeah, and
we know shout out the Philadelphia.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
And we know that's not gonna happen. You know, that's
just not gonna You can't have what God has given me.
It don't work like that. And you can't be in
my lane. You couldn't ride in this lane if I
gave it the opportunity to. So whatever star you wishing on, baby,
wish a little bigger, because that's not going to happen.
But your question was, what what do I think about
people who say I'm not married? So how can I
teach folks? So this is the thing I do not
(20:04):
teach people how to be married. Marriage is between you
and your partner. That's your agreement, that's your covenant, and
however you to decide to create and curate your marriage.
I can't teach you that. What I teach people is
how to get out of their own way. Because happy,
healed people make happy healed marriages. Miserable. Unhappy people create
(20:25):
miserable marriages. Trauma out folks create trauma bonds. Healed people
create healed bonds. I teach you, Envy, how do you
process through your trauma so you don't bleed on your wife?
I teach you, Lauren, how do you get out of
your daddy issues? Not saying you have them, your daddy issues,
cruential issues. Okay, well your dob I'm on point today,
out of your daddy issues, right, so that you don't
(20:45):
point and project your pain onto this man who is
loving the hell out of you and doesn't deserve that.
If I could teach you how to heal those and
how to get out of your way with that, then
I have helped you become a better woman for yourself,
which in return, it's going to do what benefit the
collective of that marriage. No one can teach people how
to be married. We teach you how to get out
(21:07):
of your own way so you and your partner can
be healthy. That's it, Because no matter how much we
teach you. The proper too is a marriage. If you
are traumaed out and your abandoned and a sabotage in
this thing, those tools will not be effective until I
help you get out of your way.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
So I want to ask this question, and I want
to go back to the degree thing because I have
something to ask before we move from that. So on
that right, on that self sabotage. There. Another conversation in
your community of work is with people from like you
don't have the educational background that they're like out here
searching for or whatever.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Right, wait, say that again.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So with people debating whether you have your degrees and
all this stuff, right, the biggest thing is is like,
in a normal situation, if because I've heard you say
that you're dealing with your own like wounds of like
being abandoned, and like, how you will self sabotage in
certain situations?
Speaker 4 (21:55):
How I have I used to?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So a lot of people who in
your lane, they're like, okay, if I know that personally
about myself, I depend on my education to be able
to put that to the side and give you the tools.
And I know some people are upset because they're like, well,
they're trying to say you don't have the education, but
then you also have your own issues in your real life.
So how are you separating the two of one thing?
(22:17):
Is their legend is not there?
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Yeah, I got you. I hear the question. So the
work that I've done on my abandonment that has created
a healing in me and really allowed me to identify
my pain pockets right so to where I don't sabotage anymore.
I'm able to have emotional intelligence, high functionality and communicate
with you even as a friend, to say, look, you
(22:40):
know how you show up in this relationship, Lauren. It's
triggering me. And in the past I would have sabotage,
are just left or not even had a conversation. But
I want to talk about this because I honor and
I love our friendship. And so when you do X,
Y and Z, this is how it makes me feel
identifying my emotion and these are the things that I
need from you as my best friend. Can you commit
(23:03):
to those things? That's a healing person who's talking. That
is where I am now. Okay. Sabotaging was something I
did as a young girl because I didn't even understand
that I was sabotaging because I was still trying to
get in contact with my pain. I was still trying
to figure out how abandon it was impacting me. So
the tools that I used to be able to get
myself from self sabotaging to communicating and being high functioning
(23:25):
and having emotional intelligence and mending this relationship and letting
you know what I need because now I have awareness
of who I am as a woman. I'm aware of
my pain pockets, I'm aware of my triggers. Those are
all the tools that I teach. Those are all the
tools that are in my book, Live Your Promise. And
so I'm teaching folks how to get out of their
own way because there was a time where I was
(23:47):
in my way. And what made it challenging for me
to heal, y'all, was I was in relationships with people
who enabled it because they weren't leaving me. It didn't
matter what I did. They weren't going nowhere. They were
still putting rings on my finger, they were still wanting
to marry me, they were still loving the hell out
of me. And that enabling mechanism doesn't give folks an
(24:09):
excuse to show up trauma out to still show up
in your dysfunction. You still have a responsibility to love
yourself enough, respect yourself enough to say, let me identify
what is going on in me, even though this person's
allowing it that I know is not effective for the
collective of the relationship or myself.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
You think that that was like them still coming back.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Was that their ego of like, you know, men want
to be able to conquer, to be able to change
and sit you down and you know all those things
that come with like when you're strong.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Or could it be because he was just trying to
love you through your problems.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I mean I was gonna say, or was it the opposite?
Like what did you discover?
Speaker 4 (24:44):
More? You know what? I think that God just really
blessed me with amazing people in my life. Like I've
had some amazing parents, I've had amazing partners who I've
been in relationship with. I've had friends that just love
me down. And I'd like to say that that's the
reflection of who I am and how I love. I
(25:05):
love deep, I love hard. I will love you out
of your shit. I will love you out of your shit.
I'm like that with my clients. And so I just
had men who they just had the bandwidth to love
me through my shit. And that taught me that you
can have all the tools, you can have the best therapist,
(25:26):
the best coach, but if you don't have love, healing
is nearly impossible. I don't care what anyone says. You
would be a highly functioning transactional person with like an encyclopedia,
with all the tools and the effectiveness and this is
how it works and the principles, but internally homeless as hell,
(25:49):
because you won't have the ability to attach to love
to securely attached, not anxiously attached or avoidantly attached. You
would be a matchin as homeless. And so you know,
people just really loved me through my trauma and that
was amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
I was enabling you, Like, what were you doing because
the first.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Time they weren't setting boundaries, They weren't saying bound they
weren't saying but at what point?
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Because you know when people think of enabling, you think
of drugs, right, you thinking enable them to use drugs
and enabling them to gamble, enabling them to do something
that you feel like will be hurtful to their life.
So what was your.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Enabling them, not setting boundaries with me. You know, folks,
some people bless you. Some people fall so deep and
love envy that they start loving the person more than themselves,
which Puzzny clips up from them realizing that there needs
to be a boundary set right now.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Most women want that, don't. Most women want somebody that's
going to love them, damn there, more than themselves.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
Absolutely I do. I do, so let me speak for myself.
I do. But I want, let me say this, as
that man is loving me more than he loves himself,
I want there to be a healthy balance of him
loving himself enough to say, baby, I'm not going to
leave you, but this shit right here, there's gonna be
(27:10):
a boundary put up here, because see, I do respect myself.
Even though I love you, I love myself too as
a man, and you just can't talk to me like
that because that emasculates me. And I'm vertical and who
I am, And the reason why you love me so
much and the reason why I can carry you is
because of the fact that I respect myself and that
(27:31):
I'm vertical, and so you cannot emasculate me, meaning shrink
me and expect me to be big enough to carry you.
That is a man who has boundaries. He's not sabotage
and he's not abandoning you. But it takes a heel
to woman to say, you know what, you're right, let
(27:51):
me work on this. Show me how to work on this,
Teach me what that looks like, because maybe I've never
done that, maybe I've never had a father. It takes
a certain woman, women who don't have the bandwidth, the
awareness to healing, to respect that kind of man should
have enough respect for themself to leave, not sabotage, but
(28:14):
leave that relationship because she will emasculate him. But a
man who was functioning at that high level won't tolerate that,
at least for not long. And you shouldn't want to
a man who's loving the hell out of you. I mean,
you've got to learn that. That is what made me
want to be better. I wonder what made me want
to be better.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
It'd be that right there, Because a lot of people
will not do like the therapy stuff and all of that.
But like, if you get with the right person where
you're like, it makes you really face your own stuff,
you're like hold on, Like then you start kind of
working backwards off of lif Yes, Oh so wait, and
you talked about mother wounds too, because a lot of
people talk about daddy issues, and I think that definitely
(28:54):
is a thing. But I don't think people talk enough,
especially with black girls, about mother wombs and how that
transit and sense of how you deal with your relationships
friends and you like your marital relationships too.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Absolutely, we talk about men with mommy issues and women
with daddy issues, right, we always cross section and we
don't talk about women who have mommy issues and how
that shows up and impacts friendships, how it also shows
up and plays a role.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
In how.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
You know. Some women are okay with dealing with merry men.
Some women are okay with being the side chick. Sometimes
it's not because daddy went there. Sometimes it's because mommy
was competing with you at a young age. Sometimes because
mom abandoned you and you have an internal dislike or
hatred towards women because of the wounds that your mother created.
(29:43):
So sometimes women are saying, if I could be with
this married man and hurt his wife, then it's my
way of saying f all women, because my mother is
a woman who I despise. We have to look at
all moving parts when we are helping our when people
unpack their stuff. We can't just say, because you know
(30:04):
you're a womanizer, automatically mommy issues, because you process your
emotions in a certain way, Automatically, daddy issues, Daddy wasn't there.
I have to be able to say, all right, Envy,
who was in the house. And I always say this,
just because a parent is present doesn't mean they don't
present more. Trauma sometimes learn behavior of learning how to
(30:24):
become a womanizer is what creates a womanizer and a man.
Seeing your father womanize your mother teaches you that that
is a normalcy of being a man. It glamorizes it
for a lot of little boys, and they grow up
loving and admiring their father, showing up in the admiration
of what they see, never being told, nah son, this
(30:47):
is what I'm doing, but this is not the right
way to do it. Well, let me ask you.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
So you know, we were talking about it earlier. We
were talking about Neo and his relationships. Right, what is
three or four women? How do you look at that
relationship for those individual women?
Speaker 4 (31:02):
So polyamorous to me is a lifestyle. So it's a
choice right, it's nothing in secrecy. It's not woman saying hey,
I'm dating a man who has a woman or a wife,
and I'm doing it in secrecy. And so this is feeding,
you know, my trauma of being able to be hidden
because I've always been hidden as a little girl, nobody
(31:24):
ever seen me. So this allows me to be in
my norm of never being seen. Right, that's one reason
why women will become the side check. Polyamorous is a lifestyle,
So it's not for me, but I don't see anything
wrong with it for the folks who are choosing it
at all, if that makes sense. I don't think polyamorous
is a lifestyle that is deemed bad. I think it
(31:46):
is only bad when things are deceptive. When there's lies
and there's deception, then it's totally totally out of pocket.
It's completely unhealthy. But if this is an open relationship
and we are all happy, here, are y'all happy? Are
you healthy? Day? My thing? I'm territorial. I want all
minds to myself, and I want you territory over me.
You would be unhappy with me in a house full
(32:08):
of anybody outside of me, everybody being happy.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
And by the way, all this stuff that we're talking about,
even though it's not like directly mentioned in your book,
your book Live Your Purpose, the way that you set
up part promise, I'm sorry, part one, two and three
with like the building of your house. Yes, all of
this kind of goes into it because you spend a
lot of time on like accountability, understanding what's actually happened
versus It's not so like I don't want people to
be like, oh she there for the book, then they
(32:31):
going into all the stuff. No, the book gives you
like a very good foundation of when the stuff is happening.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
To break down parts of the book, thinking, feeling, and behavior.
Right now, how does this make up someone's personality?
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Yeah, so your three part house is exactly you know
who you are, how you think, how you feel, how
you behave. When it's in alignment, you are healthy, you
are a whole, and you are manifesting. You're in alignment.
Manifestation happens at the point of alignment. So how you
think I talk about the first part is as a
man thinking in his heart? So is he right? And
the Bible also says think only on the thoughts that
(33:03):
are prosperous, positive, and praiseworthy. If you wouldn't pray for it,
why would you think it? Because we do become our thoughts.
Our thoughts then create an emotion. Right. And so if
I always say if a person can't govern their emotions,
they can't govern anything. Because your emotions is what creates
your appetite. So womanizing, cheating, those are all appetites. Those
(33:28):
are our emotionally driven behaviors. If you can't govern how
you feel or regulate your emotions, you will always be reactory.
They did a study where it shows that folks who
are in jail right or in prison or will have
committed crimes, have less ability to regulate their emotions. That
means that their decision making at that time was emotionally reactory.
(33:52):
It wasn't something that they processed before they produce. It
wasn't any emotion that they regulated and then said, let
me respond in this way because I calculate the So
emotions is something we have to learn to identify, regulate
so that our appetite and how we show up could
be in alignment with what we want to do, who
we want to be in our goals, and both of
those create our behaviors. Our behaviors are the only thing
(34:14):
that creates results if we can get them thoughts and
those emotions in alignment, how we behave will create the
result that we want. And so I teach you not
only the tools on this is what you do, but
I have a toolkit at the end of every chapter
that says, this is how you use the tool. You
use this hammer to build this house, use this hammer
to destroy this one if it's not serving you. And
(34:36):
I use the Moses journey as a metaphor in the book, how.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Many times you have to open your own book and
work through it again?
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Because the claim the conversations online in the last couple
of weeks, are you actively like going back to your
own practices for yourself?
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Though in our real.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Line, I stand on these principles. I don't even have
to go back because these principles are my principles every day.
I'm always reprogramming, meditate every day for twenty minutes. I'm definitely,
you know, scripture inclined. I mean, I stand on faith.
Faith is an action word. I'm always making sure that
my thoughts are the thoughts that I want to create.
(35:12):
I'm always reminding myself that everything is working for me.
That you know, to call a thing that isn't as
though I wanted to be. I'm always making sure that
I'm obedient to what God is telling me to do.
I even look, listen, I've had to pray a couple
of times this week. I said, God, So what I
want to say I'm being honest, I said, God, what
I want to say is this. I'm going to pray
(35:34):
on it, and in about thirty minutes, I'm going to
check in with with my decision, making, my emotions, my
appetite to see if this is I prayed on it,
and God gave me three or four people's names, and
he said would they respond like this?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
And I said, damn it no, Because.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Said, so, what is your answer? I said, but God?
He said, remember Moses. I told Moses to speak to
the rock and he hit it, and because Moses wasn't obedient,
he got to the Promised Land and didn't make it
into the Promised Land. Do you want to be in
your wilderness for forty more years or do you want
to get into your promise land? I said, I kind
of want both. I want to rip them a new
fucking tale and I want to get in the Promised Land.
(36:15):
He said, you can't have both because you can't be Luke.
Warn't make a choice. So I willed back. I use
the tools that I provided. My book gave your promise.
I emotionally regulated, I govern myself, and I said I'm
not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
So this brings me to the question I was trying
to ask a bit back the conversation about your doctorate.
Because people can't find your dissertation online. How are you
responding to that in this new era of your life?
Like what is the answer to number one? Like why
isn't in online? I've also seen cleians of like there's
an alleged like chairman from your university saying that you
didn't finish things whatever, Like can you clear that up
(36:54):
for the people who are hearing it from one side?
Speaker 4 (36:56):
But now we have to So I'm going to say this.
I'm going to clear it up once on here, I'm
not doing it again, And I'm clearing it up for
my doc squad, for my fan base, from my audience
who deserve to hear me address it, for the folks
who have already made up their mind to not like
me or not understand me. Listen, I don't give a
fuck what your narrative is. I would like you to
(37:16):
recreate it, double down on it, and run that shit,
because I don't give a fuck about it. Now to
my doc squad, my fan base, my folks. You know,
my village is very simple. I went to a school
Augusa University, completed an entire program. I went back online
to get my official transcripts because I was applying to
(37:40):
a law school many years ago to be a professor there,
and I had to provide my transcripts right to get hired.
And I went to contact the school and say, hey,
I need my fenicial transcripts. I need my entire thing.
And there was no school. I was like, okay, I'm confused.
I google it says this school has been shut down.
Oh well, they got to have records. I mean they
(38:02):
were accredited when I attended the school. They were accredited
when I finished a program. I go and look, there
is a third party that has the records. Where I
contact the third party, that third party only holds records
for two years. I was past my two years, so
that means that I had no access to records to anything. Now,
whatever the school did with the transcripts for us, all
(38:26):
of us students. Whatever they did with dissertations, we don't know.
I even went as far as, you know, contacting my
cohorts other students, and they said, look, you know, we're
running too the same issue. We're trying to get our transcripts,
we're trying to get our information. And then I contacted
you know, financial aid. You can't make up financial aid.
(38:49):
It shows that I paid for a doctoral program alongside
my master's program and my undergrad program. And they said,
we can fully refund you your money. Under one circumstance.
We giving your money back. You don't get credit for
not a class, a course, a program you took in
this university, at this this institute. So do you want
(39:13):
us to rEFInd you or do you want us not?
I said no because I didn't want to risk the
chance of them saying, well, we're going to give you
back your money and it wipes out your entire program.
And so that's just as simple as it is. Luckily,
I had, you know, do this with all of the schools.
(39:33):
I had downloaded from the actual student portal my transcripts
at that time, and I was able to get all
just about all of my transcripts, including up to like dissertation,
but everything else, there's no there's just no holding take
for any of our records, which I think is completely
(39:54):
completely effed up.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
You're this week, Like I said, she has no records.
They just want to hate you regardless.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
Now that's fine, And it's not even that there's no
records that I don't. The school had a third party
that carry their records only for a limit of two years.
So it's not me, it's any student that attended Argus,
whether they say they say student was halfway through the
program and they just want to take those units in
(40:23):
transfer them because you can the school was accredited. They
don't have records for that unless that student was smart
enough like myself to print out records from an online
student portal and say, look it, I have this and
only that. I also kept all of my syllabus. When
you keep your syllabus from any course you've taken, then
you are due credit for each syllabus. It has a
(40:45):
date on there. It gives you the whole curriculum of
what you've studied and what it was about and the course.
And so I just happen to be smart enough to
keep all of my syllabus to be able to print
out my own records. The only concern is, you know,
the official ones would need to come from, like my
degree from Calsey University Northeast. Does my psychology degree come
(41:05):
from that? Are my masters? Right? Those schools are still operating,
so I can go in and say, hey, how you doing, Lauren?
I need to print out my official transcripts. But again,
it doesn't How can I say it doesn't affect me?
Because if I chose to go get a license as
an LMFT, I have my master's and marriage and child therapists,
I have my hours. I can just take that and say, hey,
(41:28):
let me submit these for license ear and I want
to go sit for my exam and I'll have to
do a study. I don't need a doctorate in counseling
psychology to go get licensed as a therapist. That's what
we're all missing. So if I just want to go
get licensed, and we said, hey, the school shut down,
so they're not gonna let you sit for licensing because
of that doctorate program school. While I have a master's
(41:52):
at a at an institute that is not shut down,
that is a credit out of meditation.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
This week, they're gonna be on your as I didn't.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Do everything on you. They do that it was like
a plagiarism conversation. They were trying to say that. It
was like you were discussed from the universe.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
It's a lot.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
It's been a lot. It's been a lot of false narrative.
And again, I you know, I my thing is, I
don't address any narrative. I like people to have whatever
narrative that they like.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Does that happen?
Speaker 4 (42:17):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Business Wise though, it hasn't.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
I mean, I'm I'm booked and busy. I'm still on
my speaking tour. I'm on my book tour. Book my book. Yeah,
this is my second book. I got a double book deal.
I you know, want to thank Charlet Migne, Charlemagne from
when he's not here, Charlotte.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Magne, thank you.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
You know what I mean, Huh, I'm published now published
a house Random House. I want to thank him because
when folks were putting in their bid to give me
a book deal, Charlemagne what his publishing company was one
that was in the bidding war, and I'm grateful for that.
I want to thank him because you know, I appreciate that,
So no, it doesn't my clients. I still have a
(42:59):
four caselow. I actually have a waiting list. Since the
rhetoric online has inflamed, I actually have people who have
just been booking sessions even more because now they have
an interest in seeing what my approaches and seeing how
my sessions go. And so I've had to have other
coaches that I have that work for the Doctor Bran
Institute take on some of those clients. Some of those
(43:21):
clients don't want to see other folks. They want to
see me when I leave this interview, I was just
telling my team that I have a couple of sessions
that I have to do in between y'all at my
next interview. So I'm booked and busy. And what people
don't understand is this, listen, I'm grateful for the free marketing.
(43:42):
I'm just keeping it real because most people knew who
I were, who I am, and who I was. But
for the ones who didn't, they now know. And if
anybody who has made it very far in this industry knows,
good or bad, attention is still good attention when you
have a brand, And so again it's about how you
(44:03):
use it. It's about you know, if you choose to
address it, how are you going to address it? It's
also about you know, when you have folks who are
keeping your face and name recognition extremely large, where are
you driving those people too? Are you driving them to
you just responding to these people, which does nothing for
(44:25):
your clients, for your brand and for your name, or
are you driving them to your purpose, which is healing, speaking,
my sessions, my book and all the things that I do.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Did it bother you when you had and I don't
maybe maybe you didn't have it when you had friends
in this industry that were on your side and you
see them changing. Did that happen to you with everything
that's going on? Did you see people that you you
thought you were cool with changing, whether they're you know,
people on TV or just friends in the industry?
Speaker 4 (44:51):
You mean with this situation? Absolutely? I love that because
it actually showed how many people really were ten toes
down for me. I'm serious. I was like, Yo, you
know what, I knew people rock with me. I'm like,
but people are rocking with me. You know? There were
you know, people who went and did live responses on
(45:12):
social media and was like, Doc, I need you to
address this I'm like, I'm not addressing shit.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
You know, maybe if someone asks me on an interview
and I decide to, I will, but it would be
for my people, not for the small group of folks
who are extremely low functioning because they're not reading terminology,
they're not doing their research, and they're showing their card
that this is a jealousy envy thing because someone created
their own lane and you're in a lane that has
(45:42):
you stuck in what you've decided. I'm not in a
box and I'm not going to be. And so a
lot of folks did that. And then I have a
lot of friends who are you know, A listers and
clients who are a listeners who do have a brand
and I understand that, who have reached out and said
I want to make a statement. How can I do
(46:03):
it so it doesn't hurt you?
Speaker 2 (46:04):
Right?
Speaker 4 (46:05):
I love that doc? What do you need from me?
Do you need me to say this? Do you need
me to vouch for you? And usually I say no,
you know, I'm okay, I just you reaching out is enough,
But these times, like you just said, MB show you
you know who who solid? And I really I really
just had folks that showed up and showed out, and
(46:26):
I had a team. I mean, I got to say
listen as soon as all this hit my team, hey house,
you know, my my publicist, Lakeisha. I mean, everybody texts
like hop on a call, and it wasn't hop on
a call? What's going on? Is this true? Is it not?
It was? How are you doing? Because you're on stages
(46:50):
every other day, you're on your book tour. You are
you know, booked and busy? How are you doing? How
can we help you continue to process through this? And
so again? You know, I know this sounds bananas, but
people who are successful understand this. This is free marketing.
(47:11):
I get attention online that people pay for. And I
tell God all the time, I said, God, whatever you did,
whatever it fascinate and never turned. I said, if I
wear something, if I put a bobby pin in my hair,
if my you know, if my eyelashes is at three
(47:33):
o'clock and out of four o'clock. Baby, they are going
crazy in online. And I made a joke this morning
with my assistant head of hair. He mentioned posting or
doing something. I said no, I said no, I said,
we own the internet. And he started dying laughing and
he said, yes you do.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
And so I'm great.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
I'm really I'm grateful. I'm really grateful for it. And
you know, like Shaquille O'Neil shocks one of my good friends,
and I remember a couple of years back, there was
some it been NonStop, it was something else going on,
and he called me to check on me and said,
what's up, Champ. You're good. I said, yeah, I'm good.
He said, listen, good or bad attention? Good or bad attention? Dog,
(48:13):
it's good attention. You want it all? You want it all?
I said, I know, you know, but but it is
a slight adjustment because you know, you do have I
have to work on more controlling my snap back, you know,
because my because you know, my mouthpiece and the way
I'm set up, I could say things that I have business.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Sometimes I think you do it in a way that
you know, it's it's very it fits who you are
and kind of what you're putting out at this point
a little elevated, you know, every now and then. But
I think for me, I'm glad to hear you say
people are actually calling your real life and being like,
are you okay? Because when I'm reading the book and
you're going from you're thinking to your feelings to like
behaving and how you have to act in real life,
(48:57):
and then in real life you're experiencing this.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
I'm like, I know she's human though.
Speaker 4 (49:01):
One hundred percent, but let's be realistic. Let's talk about
the big, big, big dogs. Let's talk about the Oprahs.
Majority of black folks for some reason, don't like her.
You think oh is sitting there thinking about how she's
gonna clap back at somebody.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
She'd be in her guarden with baby baby.
Speaker 4 (49:21):
I just seen her and gel in Fashion Week. Mama
Olden lost about thirty pounds. She is killing it. You
think that Tyler Perry claps back at everybody online. He
was at Cardi b concert two nights in a row, Honey,
He's he's courtside at the game, he's writing, creating a movie.
He has Tyler Perry's studios. Really, and I'm gonna go
(49:44):
to another name that people absolutely hate, but they are
one of the most richest famous families out there, the Kardashians.
You think that family sits around the dinner table and
has meetings about how these how many folks don't like them.
They're planning their next deal. They're playing their next partnership.
Kim's trying to figure out how she can get another
(50:05):
partnership with skims Kylie's talking about makeup and cosmetics. Chris
Jenner is on a private jet somewhere in freaking Mikono's
with her. I don't want to say why am but
her young man, But so what I'm saying is when
you look at the people Obama, how many black folks
love and then hate him because he didn't do enough.
(50:27):
But he did do And I mean, so you got
all the most successful, affluent, influential people who are hated
the most. And if God said to me loud and clear, baby,
I'm gonna give you much territory. And if you think
you're gonna occupy this level of territory and that people
(50:49):
are not gonna attempt to possess it, you have lost
your mind. Then you're just not ready for that level
of bigness. Because all the folks who are moving in
that space, being in that space, they've had to learn
what I'm teaching and live your promise, how to think
a certain way, feel a certain way, and behave a
certain way so that the outside chatter doesn't affect how
(51:12):
they live, because you don't put in all this work
to get here and then live in fucking dogma. I don't,
not at all. I'm gonna still run my place the
way I want to do them, the way that I've
created them, in my lane that I've created.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
That's it. There you have it.
Speaker 3 (51:30):
The new book is out right. Now live your promise.
We appreciate you for joining us, being so open, of course,
so much. Anytime you see up here or out and about,
we appreciate love definitely.
Speaker 4 (51:40):
Do you know I'm gonna come here and bring the truth.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
Congratulations on the book. It's good.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
Thank you, Doctor Cheyenne Bryant. And she's coming back at all.
Good morning, every day, breakfast.
Speaker 4 (51:56):
Club, finish for y'all. Done,
The Breakfast Club News
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