Breakfast Club Classic: Jess & Rome Talk 'Til Death Do We Parent,' Co-Parenting, Life’s Struggles & Lessons +More

Today on The Breakfast Club, Jess & Rome Talk 'Til Death Do We Parent,' Co-Parenting, Life’s Struggles & Lessons. Listen For More!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I don't know every day click yours up the Breakfast Club.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm finished for y'all.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Done more thing.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
Everybody's j n V. Just hilarious, charlamage the guy. We
are the breakfast club. We got a special guest in
the building.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
And first of all, make sure the door is locked.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
And I'm glad that her phone is in here because
she can't use her phone to get in the room.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
So make sure the door is locked. Correct, just hilarious,
can't get in.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
We got our guy Rome room here, who is Justice
Baby's father's dad.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
And you know, just put out her new book this week,
Tell Death Do We Parent?

Speaker 4 (00:34):
It's available everywhere you buy books now, and it talks
about how they got to a healthy place of co
parenting with each other.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
And I haven't even talked the wrong. I ain't reach
out to room. I wanted to talk to the wrong,
face to face wrong. What did you think of the book?

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Was your first feeling?

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Honest? Honest? First Fiel, you read the book first chapter.
I feel like some things wasn't explained the correct way.

Speaker 4 (01:01):
We're not supposed to let her in, let her in,
You're supposed to keep her out for a little bit, Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Let Rome have the floor.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
You can sit down, Jess, unless you leave.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
You can also leave. Okay, yes, we just asked the
first question.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
All right, it's too late.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
You got nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
It's too late.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Now you think the book to death we paying you
said first chapter, you saying it was cap.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Honestly not even cap. I just think after women read it,
they're gonna hate me. And why because of course, you know,
men can't go through that, but when women are going
through like postpartum, those stages and stuff like that, if
you read this the first chapter, it's going to be
like I was a dog, Like I did everything doing

(01:50):
those times when I.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Did it, so you you weren't a dog.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
No, I feel like she fabricated it far as putting
it too early, it was leap. It was later than that.
I didn't do any of that doing postpartum. But it
was a dope book, interesting, very transparent to see that
we've grown so much and to share other to share

(02:13):
with other people on you know that cop parents is
not a bad thing. I think that that's that's the
biggest part in the goal that we always talked about,
and that was for years, even when we started co
parents and therapy back in it was COVID, so I
won't say the twenty twenty one when it was shut down.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Man, the book is yeah, see, that's what I got
from the book. That's why I said, I don't think
people will hate you if they read.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Past the first chapter.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
You know what I mean, because you do get to
the growth and the evolutionary of both of y'all.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
You know what I mean, not just not just you,
both of y'all.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, And but you got some people who ain't gonna
read through the book. That's all right, right, They're gonna
they're gonna pinpoint and take out parts, and they're gonna
run with a certain narratives, see the same way they
do clips on Instagram or TikTok, whatever the case may be.
They hate you off of a clip and didn't even
let you aborade or explain yourself.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Actually have to hurt your feelings the most, and don't
lie because I know you're ready. More than one time,
what chapter was it?

Speaker 2 (03:12):
None ever really hurt me? Because none never really hurt
me because I'm I'm I own up to what I do.
I ain't never been ashamed of anything, And tell you why,
because I always had a choice I decided to make
those choices. But what was hot woman to me was
that she's able to talk about it now because a

(03:33):
lot of times she would never open up about it,
and just to share that light on how much I've
grown as a man and as a father, I just was,
you know, a Paul I wasn't I was really, yeah,
I was. I was just excited, man, I really was excited.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
You could tell she has a lot of love for
you regardless and a lot of always there.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
I'm just excited because if anybody who really know me,
truly and genuely know me, that's my dog.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
How did you feel when you know she she recently
exerts came out of the book and she talked about
not necessarily wanting your first child, but wanted to keep
you more than anything, so to make you happy, she
was willing to do anything for you. How did that
make you feel?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I felt in a moment, I don't know. I it
was no feeling. We was kids. Looking back reading it
as a father of five, now, I understand. And I
say that because even when I go back to her
and I'd be like, if you're gonna leave me alone,
don't go get another me. It's one of those things where, okay, well,

(04:35):
if you having a child, make sure that you know
that this is gonna be a family. And I never
wanted a lot of kids. I always wanted a family.
But you know, I was emotional, I would say, dumb,
not thinking vulnerable in those moments, even as a kid.
But I think, I don't know, I think it just
shaped her to be the wife that she is now.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
You look back at it and say, I messed this
family up because she talks about she thought that y'all
had a perfect family. Y'all were taking pictures, and y'all
were doing things as a family and a couple. You know,
all of a sudden she got a comment that says
room but here with you. But he played a house
in this other house, and matter of fact, he got
a baby coming. Did you ever look back that and
be like, damn, I f that up.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
I look back sometimes and say I wish I'd have
did things different. I ain't never gonna say I wish
I fucked it up, because who knows. If I wouldn't
have deal what I did, then we still would have
been together. Because it goes both ways, and a lot
of things that I've done. It was out of reactions.

(05:38):
You know, it's three sides of every story, their side,
your side, and the truth.

Speaker 5 (05:43):
Me.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
I just wasn't that heartless to just go out and
do these things I didn't even have access to. So
that's why we're gonna dive. We're gonna dive deeper into
those things. But I wouldn't say I fucked up. I
would say I just wish I'd did things different, just
to give just to give us a chance, because I
never even gave us a chance.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
That's a great question and just a great framing of it.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
Like if there were no kid involved, right, if there
was no action, would y'all still choose each other?

Speaker 2 (06:11):
You think at that moment, No, because Ashon was the glud.
Ash was the one that kept it around and me,
I'm low tolerance. And Jessica speaks on that, she'll speak
again on it. We spoke on that on the podcast.
When women don't do and it might sound controlling, it
might sound like I'm a narcissism, you know, at that moment,

(06:33):
not now, because I'm a change man. You know, at
that moment, it may sound like I'm being controlling. But
I felt like at the time younger days. If women
wasn't in my if they want in compliance, it want
no benefit to me.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
So just just walk back in the room. I want
to want to expound on the question. I just asked you.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
What was it about just that would make you not
want to be with her? If there was no ask
because he said he wouldn't do what you'd do.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Wasn't that at that moment? At that like I said,
I'm gonna repeat it, at that moment, we were children,
so it wasn't really it wasn't really nothing to be
with our own, especially after all the things I did.
And I say that to say that at that time.
Of course, you know a lot of men live with
women for conveniency and stuff like that. I didn't need

(07:24):
any of that. I'm living at home with stepmam. So
if it's no child, we'd have went out separate ways
because it was easy to go separate ways with no tie.
It's easy to go separate ways when you're not married, right,
marriage and children is the tie on? Okay, let's see,
because you don't really want to start over, like it's

(07:45):
hard starting over and not even hard, it's just too
much timing. You gotta religne a person and then you
don't even know if that person gonna be the person
for you, So it takes time.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Now, you said it was reactional, the fact that you
know you cheated. Was it reactionable because you didn't want
to be in a family at the time, or you
didn't want to be tied down? Or what's her?

Speaker 1 (08:03):
This was?

Speaker 3 (08:03):
You know what was reactional?

Speaker 4 (08:05):
No?

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Just this ship?

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah, okay, now let's get to her.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Just just just just did things, and it's something's some
things I said I would never speak on. I'm taking
that to the grade with me because, yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
That's why you believe that it might not be yours
at one point.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
No, I never I never believe that I've seen him.
He was mind through the song ground at the moment.
At the moment, I never really even believed it. It
was more so I was upset because of the heat
of the moment.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
But you just said that, okay, okay, she said emotional. Yeah,
I told him that might not be his.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
But she and she, she and I read that four
or five times again on the train to day that particular.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, but then I fell asleep.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
But no, how did you feelhen She said that, of
course you knows the man you're in the moment. Oh
in mind you you shain't in my face, so I
think it'll win different And she was in my face
shit like that.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
But.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
I did. I never thought Ashen wasn't mine. I just
think she, of all people at that moment, even now,
know how to get under my skin. There's only two
things that really bothered me, my children, in my mom
It ain't really nothing else you can really say to
me that would really move me.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
Why didn't you fight for the relationship after you know,
jess was like it's over. You know you had another
baby on the way. Why didn't you fight for That's
clear that up.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Okay, it was over before I had a baby on
the way, Jessica, that I know.

Speaker 5 (09:37):
Ron. I just was trying to like be with you
and give my family like because that's what I wanted ultimately.
I wanted that family dynamic. I wanted to grow up.
I want to ask to grow up in the house
with me and you together, you know.

Speaker 6 (09:50):
And yeah, it was over.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
I had mentally checked out. You was like moved like
you had moved on and.

Speaker 5 (09:57):
Everything, but like you was still so fish because I
couldn't be with nobody you didn't want me, but I
couldn't be with nobody else.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
No, we cleaned it up because in the book it
makes it seem like I had a baby on you.
Well you were dealing with and it's three number two
and it's fourteen is eleven? Yeah, when did we split?

Speaker 5 (10:20):
When he was like about yeah we split, we split
once and yeah yeah yeah, but I took you back.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
I got back with you. Remember when I met Yo. Correct,
you know I can't say his real name, but when
I met Man.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
You was.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Because I was about to say his real name.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
Why did you fight for it? Why didn't you fight
for that family back? If that's what you wanted, If
that's what Ashton meant to you, why wouldn't you say
you know what, I'm gonna cut the BS out and
I'm gonna fight.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
For my friend.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Just music, oh, because the music. I used music a lot.
It's a therapy for me.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
It was influence spot.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah, and it's one it's one person.

Speaker 6 (11:01):
No, no you talking about Webby no Boothy? Oh yeah,
that's yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
One thing he said and you can you can curse
and say it. One thing he said was a nigga
can do a thousand and one things once the girl
that one person, we can't take it. M so at
that moment, and then even at that time, like you know,
still it's pear of pressure people around you. Oh and
then at that time I really cared about what my

(11:32):
friends start, so it was BC and then it was
like a manhood and you know, like my father ain't
really say too much negative, but you know, he said
the things he said. But you know, I think I
was more so heartbroken because of you know, certain things
that she did do with the manual, not even just

(11:52):
in mine. You know, bo you might you might as
well if I see you texting five or six men,
you might as well and sucked all because in my
mind you did you had when I'm no, no, I'm
not making a scene like that. What I'm making this
scene like is if you even if I see you

(12:13):
texting him talking to over, you might, as on his mind,
my mind, you have sex with them.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yeah, that's a double standing because you was doing it.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Even if.

Speaker 6 (12:24):
Yeah, even if you didn't have sex with him, like
have sex.

Speaker 5 (12:27):
Even if I'm just talking to somebody and he go
on my phone and he said, oh he looking over
and I'm texting him because you know, I was going
pretty hard, you know what I mean. But like he
would look over and see he already just assumed, like,
oh yeah, I you got balls enough to sit right
here and text a nigga right in front of me.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
You're sleeping with him.

Speaker 5 (12:43):
And it's like Rome overthinks, like he creates these scenarios
in his mind, and he overthinks, and he thinks himself
out of the relationships.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
He's not wrong for that, even though we shouldn't. He's
not right.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
But when I'm right, I'm right. When I'm wrong, I
could have been right. But when I'm right, I was wrong,
but I wasn't wrong.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Okay, okay, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Yeah, but no, you know you you did some things
to me too, Yeah I believe.

Speaker 6 (13:10):
Okay, let's all right, that's fine, and I'll.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
Take you did a lot of things in me. I
done pulled up on Dressica a couple of times in
her neighborhood. And then that's one thing too. I don't
like you ignore my phone calls. Control don't ignore my
phone calls, and then don't hang up on me when
I'm trying to explain because you're not let me get

(13:33):
my point across, because then that means you don't care
about how I feel. And that's one thing about the society.
Nobody cares about how men actually feel. And then when
men try to open up, and I looked at it,
and it's on the same track that Michael Beasley and
Shannon Shock, I felt a lot of things Michael Beezy
said when a man tried to open up, your laugh

(13:55):
at me until it's too late. I'm just he was
able to get the help he needed to to be
able to tell his story. But it's a lot of
other men who are shamed to do it. But this book,
and that ties everything to this book. This book is
a great book because his father's out there. It's hopeless
because you got a lot of types of dead beats.

(14:17):
You got did beats who they don't do something to
baby mother, say that did beat. Yeah, dibbies who just
actually don't give a fuck. You got dibbies who said, oh,
don't get the don't don't have that child, and then
you still have the child. It's so many different ones.
But for the men who actually want to be in
their father's life and they kids. I'm sorry for the

(14:37):
men who actually want to be in their kids life.
I just don't understand why women don't want to allow.

Speaker 4 (14:41):
That that they didn't stay there for a second because
I asked, I said, wrong, if you had a title
for your book, what would be called?

Speaker 1 (14:48):
You had a very interesting title. The second one.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
I got to tell you something with the second one.
Let the father be your father, not when it's convenient
for you.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
That's that's not when it's convenient for you, is what
got me. Do you feel like she only wanted you
to be a father when it was convenient for her?

Speaker 2 (15:03):
No?

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Okay, not no.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Not with her, I got a lot of of course
you knew I got a line, But no, with me
and Jessica, it was never about don't understand that. This
was before the dis That's why it's most genuine, because
she didn't keep a child because of a status or
some some money or whatever the case may be. We
just was honestly thought we was in love. And then
when I grew up, I didn't grow up on spend
your Hot Blocks and that type of music. I grew

(15:27):
up on Bow Wow and Little Romeo and Sammy, so
like it was, it was love music, and you just
I always just wanted those fairy tales. Like my favorite
show growing up was Sweet Life in Zach and Cody
because of the family dynamic. So it's like for a
young man or want that, and then you see my
life didn't get that. That's one of the things I'd

(15:48):
be like, Damn. I don't say I fucked up, but
I'd be like, well, why why I couldn't get those cards?
And I used to always a lot of my friends.
I used to be jealous of my friends growing up.
They had a mom and dad and I didn't. And
I told him, bro, like I don't like you. I
love you, but I don't like you my friends because
they had they had what I wanted. And then I

(16:11):
just used to see how they just never appreciated they mom.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
Was a co parenting way that your co parent Now
was that always there or that had to get there?
Like at first was just not letting you see your
son or you didn't want to see your beau? How
did it originally start?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
So it was always co parenting. It's just I was
co parenting with my mother with my mother, Yeah, with
Mama arriving.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
Because just didn't want to see you because Jess was Ess.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
I didn't want to see you. Why did she had
to see me because she was living at the daycare,
so she was going to see me. But it's never
been a point where I couldn't see my son or
he's keeping away from me because she she has that
family dynamic. Who this ain't that?

Speaker 3 (16:52):
And why just why didn't you? Because most people would
have been like, he did me dirty, he cheated on me,
he did all these things. I'm gonna use my son
to hurt him. A lot of people do that. We
see that a lot of relationships. Why wasn't your mind
for maps heard as you couldn't?

Speaker 2 (17:06):
I just yeah, I just couldn't do it.

Speaker 5 (17:08):
I gave Rome a lot of grace because you know
I was doing my my is too, But you know
it's not about who, well actually it was, it was
about who started it.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
But whatever.

Speaker 5 (17:18):
But once we started going back and forth trying to
hurt each other and trying to make each other feel
the pain that each one of us felt, I got
I got tired of that, and once I wanted to
sit down with Rome and just put everything on the table, like, yo,
are you you that'st admit everything things that I did
that I was lying to him about. He admitted things
to me. Well, he explained things to me, because that's

(17:41):
the thing Rome never really told me. Every day I
will find out and I'm going I'm coming to him, like, yo,
this is what happened.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
You know.

Speaker 6 (17:48):
Ai Ai was not we It wasn't.

Speaker 5 (17:50):
Even that our favorite tips back then. So no, but
I was able to give him a lot of grace.
And then also like Kitch trauma, he went through a
lot when he was younger, and I realize them, like, yo,
I'm a lot more mature to see that. And and
my mother always instilled that in me. Give a person grace.
Everybody comes from different walks of life. You don't know

(18:11):
what he's gone through, and it's hard to operate in
this world without a mother, you know, and then with
an absent father, you know, father who you see, but
he not really there is no really is no real bond.
So I felt the need to be more of a
friend and a confidante, you know, because I think I
was like the only one that you can open up

(18:31):
to about a lot of things that happened in your childhood,
A lot of things that you know you didn't that
you that you didn't get as a kid.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
After your mom's passing. So I think that's what it was.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
She said, because you talk about being vulnerable, did she
ever use it?

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Oh, that's what I was going to say next. But
the big umbrella of everything she's saying a mother, because
she wouldn't allow it. You have women, you have men,
you have human beings itself who when shit don't go
their way, they got enablers around them telling them that

(19:06):
that's right, that's right. When her mother. I loved her
mother so much in minds me, her mother used to
go through hell and high water because I was always rebellious,
and then as I got a certain age, I'm already
defensive because of what my dad did. So you can't
tell me, but I had to take myself step back.
She's not trying to hurt you. Wrong, h And yeah

(19:27):
she she just you wrong, wrong, You're wrong. So it
wasn't no, oh that's my daughter. I'm gonna take her
side right because it was. It was honestly, like I
think because the cole parenting itself, it got it was.
It wasn't bad, but it got great after a while.
It didn't just happened overnight. It really started happening when
I took my feelings out of it, like I stayed

(19:49):
in the past, like when that, when that that narrative, Oh,
I don't want this nigga around my kid. I don't
want this. I don't want that. I allowed it to happen, though,
because when I decided to hurt that woman or not
want to be with that woman, that opens up the
door so she can have whoever the she want to
have around that child.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
So the logical part that I went with was, okay,
just longest ain't trying to hurt my kid. I'm okay,
and I respect my child mom enough and I trust
them enough and even now all of them to not
allow that to happen.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
I want, I want to ask you something wrong because
you said what you wanted growing up with the two
parent household. Yeah, And a lot of people would say,
how can somebody with that mindset end up with five
baby mothers because it's impossible to give those kids what
you wanted, correct, So why would you create the same.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Type of So let me let me elaborate and piggyback.
So I never really that two point household now is new.
I never really cared for a two point household. I
just wanted my mother got you hm, so mind you.
I was fine with going with my dad on the weekends,
going back to my mother until that last weekend and

(21:01):
get to go back to my mom. So the two
parent household dynamic come from, like I said, shows and
stuff like that, and reality and the stigma that society
put on you. Oh it's supposed to be like this
when two point household produced some of the most fucked
upiest people in the world.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
But you are not a fucked up person.

Speaker 4 (21:20):
Now your brother with high emotional intelligence. So clearly I
know you wanted to be better than your Yeah, correct.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
And like I said, I may, I may, I may.
I made decisions. A lot of decisions I made was
out of vulnerability. A lot of decisions I made was
out of hurt, you know. And I'm not ashamed to
say that. People like, oh, oh, whatever, that's me.

Speaker 5 (21:40):
Can I ask you and you just tell me if
you agree that. I feel like you were looking for
maybe your mom and these women. And that's why, you know,
because you had lost at a very young age, and
that nurturing and that you know, all that nurturing and
affection stopped at a very early age, and you went
from that household. That's all you knew, love and positivity

(22:04):
and just you know, all of that to a very
different type of household. You know, it wasn't much affection,
It wasn't nurturing. And I feel like that actually shaped
how you looking women in my relationships. Yeah, like it
affected your love life in a way.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Do you agree with that. We're going to be very transparent.
I never looked in my I never looked for women,
and I never looked for my mother and women. I
did look for the love and affection, right, Why I
never looked in I never looked for my mother and
women because I'm put on tape. My mother wasn't a

(22:41):
saint mother di shit like you know, like, but who
she was to you, who she was to me was
she was great. But it was like once she left,
it was just that that affection that loved, that holding
a person. Because I used to hold my mother every night.
Shit put me out every night I used to hold her.
It really didn't affect me until I got older and

(23:01):
started dealing with women. Because why I'm going through school,
I'm always busy. Maybe that's why it didn't affect me.
I'm grades baseball, basketball. I really had no downtown to
really think about it. I know my mom and at
the like probably like thirteen, I'm you know, I'm washing cars.
That's what That's what my mother love cause, so that's
where I get that from. So it's like I don't

(23:22):
think that it. I never really said, oh I want
you my mother and this woman because my mother ain't
know how to cook cleaned up.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
But you know you have five baby moms, right and
of course just had relationships before she recently recently got married.
How did you co parent in that situation?

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Right?

Speaker 3 (23:40):
Because asking to be at his house, he has women there,
you know, or you know, just man have a guy, Like,
how did y'all it's crazy that you just.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Cut that man off talking about his mom.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
No, it's it's gonna come back now. So I can't
see where you're going at.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Go ahead forget. So I'm asking, so how did you
deal with that? Because that's what you've seen with your life?

Speaker 2 (24:00):
So how did I see with my son there with
her and her man? Like, how do we co parent?

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Like? How did you you know, like we're speaking.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
On this speaking on the husband now before the husband
before diferent my relationships.

Speaker 5 (24:15):
And ashe will be home with me. But then he
come on, Yeah, like, how was the co parents and
relationship between you.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
And I when that was going on schedule? You had
girlfriends and I ain't gonna hold you. That took my
feelings out of it. A couple of men that one two,
one and a half you literally only liked one and
a half. I ain't like the our one, but you
didn't like him first I didn't, but we're going yeah, yeah,
one and a half because what half be half? I

(24:46):
didn't really cared for him, but he loved her, so
he loved my he loved my son. So like I said,
it's times where Rome just taking taken to the house
when they them two was you know, in one household
and I would drop them off problems or none of that.
So that that was it. That was the only transaction
for us that really wasn't us how by whatever, nothing.
I ain't really care for him because of what he

(25:09):
was saying to the other women who was coming to me.
If that makes sense, I'm still I'm confused.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
Break it down a little bit.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Okay, So he wasn't a sane in this that in
that relationship neither, okay, And we then came across a
couple of the same women. I ain't disclosing anything.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
But did you ever tell just that, like, it's not my.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Business she figured wrong, was not your business.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
It's not what your son did.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
That's my sun. But they wasn't in the household. He
was doing what he did on his free time when
he was doing How I know that because my son
was with me majority of the time when he's doing
it on his free time. Well, cheater was supported cheater anyway,
I'm not supporting the cheater. You chose him, and that's
on you. I didn't know he was cheating. Well I
didn't either. I didn't either, but it was no problem

(25:58):
after the real.

Speaker 5 (26:00):
Quick Yeah, you said there was no problem to answer
this question, but he was saying something earlier when I
came in and he was asking you, did I did
I ever use like anything against you, like as far
as your mind.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
No, No, So I have not done that. It was
more comfortable with talking to her about it because she
never used it against me. Got you, But of course
you know, I deal with that every day, Like I think.
The worst that my child mom has said to me
was kill yourself and lay next to your mother.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Wow. Mm hmm. That's that's that's beyond ports.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
But then call me and asking for a hot shot
the next day. Mm hmmm, and I did it? Mmm?

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Have you have you ever? Have you ever gone to?

Speaker 4 (26:44):
Like a therapist is somebody to talk about, like the
clear mother wound that you have, you know, the mother.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
I talked to the actually was consistent until I felt
like I ain't. I never needed no more, but it
was consistent. The therapist that you gave to me a
couple of years ago, I was using him and it
just was over the phone. I don't really need to
face the face. It just be just listening. You listen
to me and then you give me everything you can
to just help me. Like so that that therapist. Yet,

(27:14):
So that's why I always even it be Sometimes I
might text you like piece of Blessings can be cause
I got that from you to Peace and Blessing spot.
But yeah I did. And why do you feel like
you can't go in person? I ain't saying I can't.
I just I ain't saying I can't. I just saying
that it probably is. But it's just like I don't
feel like I would need to to go in person,

(27:37):
like even now We're in the world now where everything
is virtual and a lot of things are virtual and
stuff like that.

Speaker 5 (27:42):
So but sometimes that's not the best because there's that
that human connection. You can't get that through a screen
all the time, you know what I mean. The atmosphere
is different than an actual therapist's office now if you
need to, if you want a roll on the go
all the time. I do understand that, but I think
that you would truly benefit from person that whole atmosphere,

(28:02):
like a different atmosphere, a different environment where you can
feel safe enough to open up about things because you
probably things that you probably haven't even confronted.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
You know, you never know, like the trauma a lot.

Speaker 5 (28:14):
It could be other traumas that stemmed from you know,
before Keisha, before your mind passed. You know, it could
be things that you didn't deal with or you know,
you don't know about until it's activated. So the trauma
is like activating you gotta face it, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 4 (28:28):
I never had the language to explain you and justice energy,
but I feel like I have it now. Like when
I see just with you, she's literally trying to heal
that mother womb, not by trying to be your mother
in anyway. But I I the way she talks to you,
the concerns she has for you. I'm sure that the
deep conversations y'all have. I constantly see her trying to

(28:51):
put neo's boring and you know all of the things
that help treat that mother womb that exists in you.
And it makes sense when you're telling me that you
have had other baby mothers with poor.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
So they use it against you.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah, she just keep me mellow. If y'all knowiced I'm
more relaxed. I'm always on the uppity because I'm always
in defense mode. Yeah, It's like I'm always trying to
prove myself and that's why a lot of times you
stress yourself out.

Speaker 3 (29:18):
But how did it affect you when she got married?

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Right?

Speaker 3 (29:21):
Because they said there was boundaries. And the reason I
asked is, if I'm marrying somebody, I know y'all might
have a relationship, and I know y'all might be tight,
but you kind of got to find your own personally
on because that's mine, you know what I mean, That's
that's my wife, now, you know what I mean. But
y'all was so tight for so long? How did those
new boundaries affect co parenting and your relationship.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, because somebody had to build the wall.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
It ain't affect nothing. Guess what it wasn't. It wasn't
the wall built a man. So when she leap and
in mind I need to step by step. But and
it wasn't even o wrong. I want you to meet Chris.
It's just a genuine and it wasn't no wall, my man,

(30:07):
I always have respect. How did I deal with uh
not being around them more or talking to its best friend?

Speaker 3 (30:17):
Y'all?

Speaker 2 (30:17):
But I never thought about that because you're selfish if
you don't want your best friend or you're the person
that you love to be happy. So if this is
what makes her happy, Okay, I got one child, mom
that's happy.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
One found the Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
This is what you used to say, get in the future.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
I'm like, yo, you wanted somebody. You wanted her to
get somebody better.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I want her to get a Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Let me ask you. That's a good that's a good segue,
and it is.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
What's one thing just I don't want to say exposed,
but said about you in the book that made you
say damn.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
I didn't realize I was that toxic.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
Mhm mm hmmmm. Definitely think about it. The baby, my
son first birthday.

Speaker 6 (31:14):
M hmm.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
That's one but a lot of them. When she stated
that sounds like I did it. I don't remember that
part though, but she said I bought the girl in
the birthday party. Mm hmm. How friends made the girl
leave or whatever the case may.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Be, you brought your new chick to yourself, just asked him.
I want to be I want to be clear explaining
all that.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Listen explained all that she was like. At that time,
toxic wasn't thrown around, so I ain't looking at it
as toxic now. It's always just got my way. So

(32:00):
that son ship. If you're saying how that made me feel,
I said, I and the crazy party is. I didn't
even tell a DJ to play that song. I think
my brother somebody what song was it was? I think

(32:21):
it was Yeah, But I'm telling you, oh, yeah, no,
I don't think I think my brother. I not that
time because I came late on purpose because I wanted
to make a drank grand interest. Yeah at this time,
action one, I'm only twenty. I'll just imagine I've been
so the song was a homie was wrong with you?
That bitch don't belong to you?

Speaker 6 (32:41):
Yes, see him five or see him four.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
One of them four m three or see him four.
She threw my shot out the window. I mean I
think I told you that before she did the window.

Speaker 6 (32:50):
But you walk in the party. But late we were
supposed to sugar together.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
Were all white with.

Speaker 2 (32:58):
Yeah, she forgot to leave out the book that she
inserted herself and me and my son pictures. What are
you talking about? When we took baby pictures me and him,
I inserted myself. Yeah, you weren't supposed to be with us.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Damn Wow.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
That's how I knew that it wasn't it was over
because when I schedule for them pictures, Uh yeah, me
and I wasn't together.

Speaker 5 (33:22):
I was trying to force the relationship wrong. I really
really wanted to give my give our son that family dynamic.
Like I tell the truth about it, I take accountability,
like I was really trying to.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
You don't want to really hurt me. You didn't want
to really.

Speaker 5 (33:38):
Hurt because he goes because he don't want to admit
like you're talking about. Hell, remember, and it didn't happen
like that. Shorty came in listen and this was the
time when love and hip hop was hot. He thought
he was Stevie Jay.

Speaker 6 (33:48):
He thought he had walked in with Joscelyn HERNANDEZK.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
And I never walk in with a woman who was
illiterates liked because that is my friend. Let me take
that back. That's my girl, and let me take that back.
That's not what I mean.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
Go ahead, Oh my god.

Speaker 6 (34:04):
So yeah, he walks in with the girl.

Speaker 5 (34:07):
You can obviously see she don't really know she know
what she at but she didn't really like understand until
she got in there, like.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
Oh wait, English, this is his kid whatever?

Speaker 5 (34:19):
This is this this is his kid's first birthday party.
And everybody's looking at me like I'm not supposed to
be here. He told her that I was gonna that
we were broken up and I was gonna have my
boyfriend there.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
You was just my boyfriend.

Speaker 5 (34:31):
Stupid he Why would you tell her that? And he
come in there, he got a chaise on, he dressed
just like our son or whatever. He walks off, leave
her right there in the middle of the party. So
now me and my friends were my friends because I'm
you know, I'm not about to walk up to a
fighter like my friends are, like, Yo, let's get this
bitch out of here.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
You know.

Speaker 5 (34:50):
Instantly my father grabbed me like, come on, come on,
let let me talk to you. Let me talk to you,
and he had told my father, Yo, mister Kevin, she
told me that Ashton wasn't mine. So so my father
understood like, wow, okay, you don't do this, but damn
I do get it. I don't know why she would
tell you that. So it was that was his reaction
to me saying that. But it was like, Yo, you

(35:10):
can't look at this little boy and say that he's
not yours. Obviously, I was trying to press the button.
I shouldn't upset it. I apologize for it, and I
encourage women to never do that, you know what I mean.
But I encourage men to never show up to a
baby shower or a first birthday party with a whole
nother girl unless you with that girl and you're not

(35:30):
with your baby.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
Because you heard.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
How can you control how somebody reacted you?

Speaker 6 (35:36):
You are so right.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
You could have got that girl's ass was like.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
English.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
She was bad too. You can tell she didn't even
know what was going on, you.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
Paid for the company. That was your girl?

Speaker 2 (35:48):
Man, that wasn't this girl?

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Ain't you saying after that why she didn't speak English? Still,
so both of y'all got a thing for Latino.

Speaker 5 (35:56):
Oh my god, where I don't know where he got
her from whatever, But like that was a big statement.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
That was a big statement on his end, you know.
And I've always been a troll, right because yeah, I
always been a troll because it was going to hurt
her more if I did it publicly like that, opposed
to her telling me what my son solidly, because you

(36:25):
told me soldly. But it hurt me big, so you okay,
I set that up too.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
I said it.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
I said it a real nice home run. But looking back,
I wish I wouldn't have did it, because I didn't.
I never meant to humiliate her. But this is the
thing that I tell people all the time. It's so
easy to co parent when you keep your family and
your friends out of shit. I've never had that problem
on my end. My people are not saying I control them.

(36:56):
My people in compliance, you overstep that boundary, you're cut off.
I ain't married, but that's how I carry things. Because
we said last time when I was here. You can
say what you want about this person, I'm still gonna
be with them. M hmm. Sometimes that messes up relationships
because you can still love this person and be with
this person, but yet you don't want to be around

(37:17):
this person family because you know that they don't like you.
I can't sit and fake I love you. If I
don't want to be ring your family, I'm not going.
So that means no functions. I don't want them at
none of l functions. So what does that leave us?
You're gonna have to make a decision what you had
to choose to. Don't choose me.

Speaker 5 (37:32):
But where is the compromise though, because if you love
that person, then you with you love that person.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
The compromising is I'm compromising for you, but that family
don't want that family ain't compromising. They're not compromising for
the person that they love.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
But this not it is.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
But guess what the ultimate qu You will go to
this wedding or you will go to this cookout?

Speaker 4 (37:52):
You know?

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Oh, I feel like that's fake, and that's fake. You
can't relate because we never had that Well, I've never
been in that situation either, No, we haven't. We haven't.

Speaker 6 (38:03):
But I've been in situation like that.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
But so you can't relate to me because me and
you haven't been in that relationship, that that type of environment,
because it was always more of a a family narrative.
So even when we was beefing in those times, like
we still was a family. Like I didn't really just
push you to the curve because we still was a family.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
I think a lot of this is gonna get conflated
when people are watching it only because a.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Lot of this, ain't you in jest? Yeah, you and
your other correct baby mother?

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Correct? And it's it's the co parting part about that
is it's times that I don't even want to talk.
Then I tell how to go talk to him the
other baby mamas, what right, man? Just gonna help me
get a child's port, I went back on, but get
our child support? I tell her what I tell her.
I say, I said, witch, fuck you, I don't want
to talk to you, and walked off. If she go

(38:55):
no wrong, no wrong, no wrong, I'm like, I don't
want to talk to her, she don't want to talk.
It's okay, let it go. M But you know it
was you know, it's a beneficial right, And I think, man,
if more men had child mom like this one, I
think the world will be better because when you're not together,
and that's the biggest problem. When you're not together, everybody
want to be just controlling or better. Why, if you

(39:18):
really loved that child, you would the best interest. The
best interest is not just for the father to just
pay for shit. The best interest is for the father
to be around the child. Allowed that man to love
his kid, allow that man to take kid his kid.
One of the biggest things I don't like today is
people calling dad's weekend dads just come. Mother helped me
understand that. Okay, if the child live with his mom
money through Friday and you working money through Friday and

(39:40):
you get them on Saturday and Sunday, which my mom
did that with me and my dad, that's your time
your dad, like this weekend dad is during the week
that okay, you want then then here's a contradiction here,
weekend dad, but yet you want full custody, or you
want the full time, or you want the benefits of
being a full time mom. Okay, So if you want
you want to benefits of being a full time an,

(40:01):
I will take on the benefits of being a full
time It just makes no sense to me, like, how, oh,
I'll never get my kid up, But yet you complain
about the dad getting a child Friday through Sunday or Monday.
You're picking a child. You're picking a child up from
school or daycare Friday, and if you want to be
technically honest, the dad spend more time with the child

(40:24):
on Saturday and Sunday because the child's are in school,
going a week with daycare. And by time you get
off working and getting from school daycare, what you do
you getting ready for the next day where the dad's
on a Friday night, we can have fun. They gonna
be on the phone all night, be on an iPad,
go to sleep. Whenever Saturday we go to Themorrow, we
go shop, we go wherever you want. Sunday we probably
relax or not, or we do what we do. Then

(40:44):
Monday is back to business. So it's like, I just
don't don't I don't get all of that. Man, It's
just so much. Man, I feel like the dad is
just father. We go through hell and high water.

Speaker 4 (40:55):
Jess, what did you mean when you said and I
saw you say this on tearing it in of course
I read in the book when you talk about having
a deep program and reprogram as after spending the weekends.

Speaker 5 (41:04):
Yeah, so when he goes to rome house because we
had we had Yeah, we had two different co parenting vibes, right,
two different co parents and styles.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
I am the Rome is the lenient parent. I'm the
I'm strict, I have rules, I have structure.

Speaker 5 (41:22):
I'm not saying there's no structure, but there is definitely
a lot more rules and discipline.

Speaker 1 (41:30):
In my house on the week.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
On the weekend.

Speaker 5 (41:36):
Yeah, so you know, he kind of lets, you know,
ask just be and just do whatever he wants to.
Let him stay up all night, you know, just talk
on the phone or night. He's on the internet all day.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
I don't really like that.

Speaker 5 (41:48):
So when he comes back home with me, he's on
the phone, he's nonchalant, he's I'm asking him to do something.
I gotta tell him more than once, and I'm like, Okay,
you were just there for three days.

Speaker 6 (41:59):
You gotta get it together.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
Because the things that you do at Dad's house you
can't do here, you know what I mean, Like when
when you get up and get out of got when
you get up and get out of your bed.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
And make it up.

Speaker 5 (42:10):
You got your own bathroom, got your own balcon you
got a big space in this house.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
You need to clean it up, you know what I mean?
Like I just make him do certain things.

Speaker 5 (42:19):
And that's the the dprogramming, reprogram having to remind him
where he.

Speaker 6 (42:23):
At in which house he in.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
I just think that's just mom and dad, right, and
it's good. It's the house is going to do a child.
A child is going to do what they do with
their mom, and they gonna do what they do with
their dad. But father's not not you, Jessica. So I'm
speaking general when I'm saying this, but as father's we
always you go with your mom. Need to do this,

(42:46):
respect your marvel. I tell my son Christian had to
take that trash out. You are too in mind you
and I don't even have to text hell when it
comes to him and him to deprogram to brief about
what Ashley are the best things of him. If we
need mom and she coming other than that she stay
ass all our business and that's that. But like it's

(43:06):
it's it's never.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
Right man.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
The weekends is fun. Man, Like I understand as a child, man,
you're going to school. My son got. My son got
a full point two. That's hard maintain in the life.
He living full point two like my son has never
made honorall. It's principal's honorable, principal's list, the principal's list. Yeah,
and get it honest. You know it's dad is You

(43:29):
know the man that is. I graduated saludatoria eighth grade
at the ninety nine average September cent at Unbell High
School at ranking number seven, and I graduated with three
point five from college. It's it's distance stone that my
son gets. His brain's not saying his mother is not smart.

Speaker 5 (43:45):
I graduated the three point nine from a college preparatory
school and Yells Town, Pensylvania Place.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
Don't talk that too, don't play with me. I ranked
number seven Toptember cent. Only people that beat me was
all nerds.

Speaker 3 (43:58):
What was what was the most difficult thing when it
came to ash Like, what was the one thing that
your guys kept bumping heads or y'all couldn't agree on
when it came to co parenting.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
I want to go first.

Speaker 5 (44:10):
When he was younger, you wouldn't send back the clothes
that I bought When I was sending him with you,
and you would go on Instagram you would posted like, yeah,
I got myself, I took you, I bought it.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
What do you mean? I never took your clothes? Always
had his own wardrobe with me.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
That was when he got a little older.

Speaker 5 (44:30):
That's what we made about him, Like YO, send back
to that, Yes, send back the bag, I said earlier,
send back the bed sent I be Russian.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
He kept the clothes. I washed him, fold him or
put him in the cleanest okay, kline, But I'm saying
it's still my stuff that you got. It's his stuff.
And you didn't send a bag every week because if
I if I kept something that you sent, you ain't
need to send it the follow one week and then another.

(45:01):
How many how many times? Every pair attendance I bought him?
I bought him two pairs, one for you, one for me. Okay,
I mean, I mean Gucci belts. You don't lost? Well,
why are you buying a kid? How many? How many
like designers that young? I will grow out of it.
That's just been me. Okay, I'm sorry. That was my
mother logic. I felt like that logic was a great life.

Speaker 5 (45:24):
That's how you grew up yep, he would always he
was in designer at a very young age.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
That's not mine, damn fast.

Speaker 6 (45:33):
Well yeah it didn't matter, and I was hating a
little bit.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
But so what like, no, like you got your kids designing,
I mean.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Because I was out here in TJ Max.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
But that's you. You you were moving different.

Speaker 4 (45:49):
Either one of you have a reflection that made you
see a situation differently now that you're old.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Hm hmm.

Speaker 5 (45:55):
You go first, Well, I feel like I feel like
I've been seeing things different for a while, since Ash
was like five, you know what I mean. I feel
like once we got past our feelings, I always saw
you in a different light. Like I always was like, Okay,
this will be, this is gonna be my friend. I
feel like nobody else got this young man any help.

(46:16):
Nobody ever, you know, try to guide him, you know, properly.
Even when you came into like your ex settlement, you
was getting money, you was out here. You feel me,
I feel like nobody was trying to help you in
any way.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
You want to hear that to fish, but I won't
speak on that because that's a big part in the
woman eyes and stuff like that too. Finish, you know, So.

Speaker 5 (46:38):
Yeah, that's that's how I felt. I've always was able
to give grace and see and see the bigger picture, like, yeah,
this this is my friend, and I honestly feel going
back to the question that Charlamanne asks you when I
first walked in, if we didn't have Ashton, I know
we would not be together because that wasn't our story,
but we would be friends. You know, we will be

(46:59):
best and still you know, so I do feel that way.
But yeah, I've always been reflecting.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
What what were you gonna say? I agree on that
I do, cause mm, your mother hold all my stuff.
It always goes back to my mom. What's the good
that I've done? You know, I'm just saying your mother
plays a big part. I just wish more women had
mothers like you.

Speaker 4 (47:19):
M What Roman is saying is true, cause it's always
It can always be a mother putting a negative battery
in a woman's backs.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Or or she just ain't care for the child. You
just like your mother, Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
But just it seemed like she feel like you. You
give a lot of profits to kudos to her mom.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
But because she's great, No, I give kudos to both.
But as children, we speaking, we speaking right now, we
speaking on them. Then we was kids. I didn't have that.
I didn't have nobody to show me or teach me
how to be a father. It ain't no rule. But
got to figure that shit out my own. You you
know how I feel to go to college and you
got your son in your left hand and you gotta

(47:55):
do work.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
No, I don't know what I feel.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
Look, yeah, that's why I bought it ash the iPad
at that young age, and beats don't nobody know the
hard work that I put in. And then for the
other children of mine, I do the same. So, like
I said, when you let her father be a father,
you're gonna see you You're gonna see the finishing product
of it. Like I shouldn't have to fight my child

(48:19):
mint and take care of my kid. I helped you
make them right or her right? Why is it you
you shut the fuck up when oh here here, here, here, here,
here here, No, because you know, like I know, I
just had my boys at the market the other day.
We was having a moving night. We was on the
uh the cart I took. You know, I'm a big kid,

(48:40):
especially when I'm babies around me. Man, my NX kid
come out I'm on the cart I rolled from the
top with the mark of that all the way down
on the cart where Brice and Improves boys had the
best time of life. It's little things like that. My
money can't buy that. Yeah, so it would be like,
damn if you do, damn if you don't.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
He's talking about the other baby mother's right now.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Yeah, I'm talking about this period you don't have. So
I don't call just that's my sister, so you know
we you know, we clear on that. So like the world. No,
when I'm talking, I ain't talking about her. She's excluded.
She's actually yeah, she's excluded.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Just got a baby from her brother.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
It was about to say something about the settlement.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
He was like, you get sholder settlement. Honestly, man, the settlement,
the settlement really nobody taught you to invest or any
of that investing. I'm a hurt young man, and I
already got alla. I got a little style, nice teeth.
I ain't bodies teeth, so you know, whatever the case
may be. When that money came, oh I can get

(49:45):
women to do whatever the fun I want them to do.
But why was that the goal? That was a goal
because it made me feel better. It blocked all the
pain and hurt that I had mother, the mother one.
It blocked all that out. So you know, at that
time we talked about that nigga and went broken. Had
to really sit down and really, you know why you

(50:08):
want that? Okay, okay, cool, But looking back at yeah,
fucked up. That wasn't a way to go because all
you're doing is creating something that cost and it's going
to cost you over time, and you got to maintain
to be able to afford that cost. If not where
they're going out the door. So I created a problem

(50:30):
for myself and that's where I went to press that
a long time ago as well, trying to maintain a
lifestyle that I really couldn't keep up with because of
I have more children.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
M I loved it.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
Yourself away of it though, because like a lot of
people have the mother wound and don't even know that
they're turning to external things to sell south like the alcohol,
the sex with the other women, Like they don't even
realize I'm only doing this because I'm.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
Actually hurt and it's no just respect to my lady now,
but like it was, it was in no disrespect to
my child mom, I was fucking but it was a
time I went on a ramp page. I felt like
one of the athletes type niggas. And it's not I'm
not it's not good. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm

(51:18):
not glorifying it.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
But that ship.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
I don't know if other men feel like that, but
it was a different woman every day for probably two months.
Didn't care aboutn't know their names, didn't nothing.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
Sometimes you gotta let let a legend.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
And and it's like because like, well, like people don't
understand people. They judge you so much, but people don't
understand so, like I said, but and I do feel
like he has well talk to you.

Speaker 5 (51:47):
I do feel like you have issues with your other
co parents, the other moms of your children, because never
got past all the hurt that y'all that you know
that that the it indor the relationship never got past. No, y'all,
y'all never sat down.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Okay, so we never sat down with you, Yes we
sat down after the fact, Well, yes, yes we already been.
Don't put on you on them, No, I'm over everything
over them, Okay. They don't want to and honestly I
can't figure it out. And I'm done trying to figure
it out. That's why I lost hair. I'm done. But no, no,

(52:27):
I'm one for five. I'm good.

Speaker 5 (52:29):
No, I know, I understand, but I was just saying,
that's why it's not a healthy co parenting team there,
because y'all didn't get through the issues. Y'all never really
sat down and had those uncomfortable conversations and got the
closure on the relationship side to move forward on.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
The co parents' side. That y'all never did what we did.

Speaker 5 (52:49):
You know what I mean, we were we were already
past each other once we sat down and talked. But
y'all were always just bickering every relationship after you know,
you and I when you had a kid, it was
just a bunch of bickering.

Speaker 6 (53:01):
And now that you're here saying that, yes, I was.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Hurt, I was hurt.

Speaker 4 (53:03):
I was hurt.

Speaker 5 (53:04):
They didn't understand that. They didn't understand that, you know,
and you got bitter baby moms. Like I say in
the book, it's okay to be better, just don't stay there.
But you kept them there because you kept going back
dealing with this one, that you dealing with that when
you never closed the door with this one.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
And that you dealing with this when this one got
about it, and I keep going back? And why did
I keep.

Speaker 6 (53:23):
Going back and going back because it was convenient?

Speaker 2 (53:26):
Why did I keep going back and going back? Was
because that was the only way that I can get
my child. I went back three times to two different women.
I do rem why because that was the only way
that they will be out of their feelings and I
can see my child. I remember that, and I'm gonna
speak on my last child mom. We will never be
like you, but were moving in that direction, Charlatne. We

(53:48):
talked about it earlier. You said why did you move
back from South Carolina? And I stayed it at that
time and my last child Mom, we wasn't seeing an eye,
We wasn't talking. I couldn't even face time. And then
it wasn't until I brought the kids back up here
for school before it hit me that, damn, I'm just
down here by myself. I don't know how to function

(54:10):
without just going to work. Might get some free time
on myself and get my kids. I don't know how
to function like that. So I try to do everything
I could with them for them to wanting A half
months before they were at school, but prosper I wasn't
talking to prop but I couldn't see Prized, but I
couldn't FaceTime, so I'm in back in my mind, I'm like, damn,
he said he a baby?

Speaker 4 (54:27):
Is he?

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Did he even know me? It's crazy you said that?
Do you even know me? Like dang? Is he? I
don't know? And and that hurt it. So you know,
my uncle tough love, and I'm glad that I had
my uncle around here, like, man, suck that shit up,
you'll be odd. So that kept going. My son mom
get diagnosed with breast cats.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Sat on it for like two weeks if I was
wanting to move back or not, because I felt like
and she said no, she had moved on, she had
a friend, or whatever the case may be. But I
wasn't moving back for that. I was moving back because
I wanted to be closer to my son, and I
felt like she needed me more to be there physically
for my son because of the transition that was about
to happen. Because imagine what she's going there, and that

(55:09):
transition is all chemo radiation. Yes, and she decided to
take that route instead of going I know some people
that went to the.

Speaker 5 (55:16):
Natural holistic route, and Prosper was a baby, he was young,
so that was a lot of pressure on her, you
know what I mean. So, yeah, although she has family,
they're not always there for her. She has to do
a lot by herself too. You know, she has another kids.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
And then they say when you know, when she explained
that to me, when you're going through that, you need
as much support as you can. Yes, So no, I
didn't think, oh no, I'm gonna be with this woman. No,
I said this woman need me. Yes, you do have
another child as well, but I say, this woman needs me,
and I moved back. Uh, I got to see my
son and that was history. And now we, like I said, so,

(55:54):
I'm saying, I don't have another co porta with all
but my last one. And they, the twins actual looked
just alike. Yeah, so I got a coke parenting with her,
and yeah, but I feel like if she didn't, which
wasn't diagnosed, I might have not moved back so fast.
But yeah, that was that was one thing and I'm

(56:15):
dealing with that now. Of course, you know, Ila was
heard about that because I projected my once again, I
projected another my trauma on my son as well. I'm like,
I don't want baby to be without his mother. That's
all I'm thinking about. Like, I don't want that phone
call and I'm not there.

Speaker 5 (56:30):
Right, That's what I wanted you to say. I don't
want to say I want him to use his mom.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
Yeah, but she she healthy now and she needed she's
doing she's in a gym, she's fits high spirit, still
changing her dreams. But yeah, what's Prospers? You know you're
about to turn for June. Yeah, but it's two for five.
I don't mean to keep saying one it's too.

Speaker 5 (56:54):
For I do see it being five for five with
with like the negative this book. No, seriously is the
space that y'all in right now? I understand, but I
do see it being that way.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Ho, I'm cutting you off. No Prosster three, Yeah, and
my other ones is young No Propster three and it
happened and mother ones is No. Seven. No, I'm not
gonna hate each other. Trust check this out. Mm hmm.
I just want to take care of my kids. I

(57:27):
don't care if you hate me, and you don't, I
got it. Hey, everybody wanna be like you. Everybody ain't
coming to save me. Mm hmm. Everybody don't care about
if I'm happy or not, because when I'm happy, everybody
around me happy. So I get it. But I don't
think like that no more because that burns me up
and eats me up. It's nice where, you know, whatever

(57:50):
the case may be. But no, I take my first
and last, and I'm good with that. When my other
ones start to be mature. Oh here, take your kid,
don't just.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
Yeah, I get what both of y'all saying. I get
what just saying.

Speaker 4 (58:02):
I get what you were saying, just as like, you know,
this book should show you that healing is possible because
y'all weren't always in the best, but.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
We ain't never been like this, might never not seen
my kid. I don't give a fuck about not having
a relationship with the woman. I don't beat my kid. Yeah,
give me my kid, that's all I got. But if
you you're using that against me, obviously it's something you
that ain't right. You're a fucked up person, right.

Speaker 5 (58:27):
But at one, at some point y'all loved each other. Yeah,
I know, I'm saying. It's still it's still existed, you know,
So if you can, if you're not I'm not saying
get back to that place, but at one point, if
there was a point where you did love a person,
then you can actually see the good in them, you
know what I mean, to try to start to mend
that and that that that just starts with confronting the

(58:48):
things that eat you up about that person. That's all
it is, is just an uncomfortable conversation. But I'm gonna
get you robbed up no more. There is one thing
before we end it is well with one thing?

Speaker 1 (58:58):
I know.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
I wonder because because it is the topic that now
the world is talking about it, I want talking about
it before.

Speaker 6 (59:07):
But you know, I mean, we we've been doing this
since the pandemic.

Speaker 2 (59:10):
I think the funny part about it is because even
right now I'm talking and I'm going through the ship, like, Yeah,
I moved back a year and a half ago, seeing
my nine year old daughter twice. Right, I came back twice.
My mother text called me that probably eleven o'clock three
four last week night. You call him this sleep for

(59:30):
I missed it because I was sleeping. Next morning, what up,
I'm ready to have a conversation about our daughter. Are
you free? I said? What I said? What would the
conversation be about other than her? You went missing? I didn't?
I did? I own it? Mm hmm. So here's a
father trying to be a father. Guess what I said? Hey,

(59:53):
she like in a call, I'm like ashing Bryce in
the price for sleep. Talk to you tomorrow. I can
eat you tomorrow. At that dropped them off to school
and that's it. Did you did you went missing again?

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
Hmm?

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Okay, text?

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
Hey free? Hey, So what's like? But she'll call me
a dead beat? See what I'm going at with it.
I'm not bashing her. She's a great mom, all of them.
She'll call me all of them all. Yeah, I would
never take that. I got a nice line up for
the great moms. So with without me, I think my kids,
you know, besides of trauma, whatever can they they've been

(01:00:32):
they have been taken care of well. But but you
see the type of things that fathers that actually care.
I know some niggas that just don't give a fuck.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
Hey, I'm free, I want to meet up go missing again? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
What I want to know is why I haven't just
en through a copy of the book.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
They just came out of the book. I'm gonna get
to be honest, bro, I don't think you can read No,
Oh my god, what do you mean. I don't think
they'll read it. You don't think that we might want Yeah,

(01:01:13):
I've already read the book. Amazing, thank you. We was
in court, yeah, the whole thing. But that's good. That's
the one that you were on good terms with it
like that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
And it's like it's like it's one of those things
man for men. I'm protecting my mental It is what
it is. It ain't what it ain't. I'm a control
If I can't control, only control what you can control.

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
That's my logic. It is what it is. And when
you and when you go by that on a man
or your peace part, things be, it just comes to you.
It'd be easy. So, like I said, if it happens,
it happens, but I'm not expecting it to because because
if it don't, I won't be hurt again. I look
so forward to death.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
Do we parent too that you're writing and see that's
what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
Uh, I ain't gonna say it. Don't want you to
steal my ship nobody yet, but you have to be
parent part. What is it part you to you know,
it's too you have to be parent, part to let
her father be your father. Yeah, I love it and
I love you too, y, I really do.

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
The book is out right now.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
Make sure you get my guy room, sending room, healing
energy all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
Eight fellas, protect your peace. Man all right.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
It's the Breakfast Club. It's big room, little one, It's.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
The Breakfast Morning and just god damn okay.

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
Sometimes sometimes no, that was yo.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Every day I waiting click yours up the Breakfast Club.
You don't finish for y'all done