May 1, 2026 • 31 mins
This episode of The Latest with Loren LoRosa dives deep into a raw, unfiltered conversation with Jess Hilarious and her son’s father, Rome—and nothing is off limits.
From navigating young parenthood and generational trauma to redefining co-parenting after heartbreak, this candid Q&A pulls back the curtain on what it really takes to raise a child while healing yourself. Jess opens up about fear, growth, and the lessons behind her book, “Till Death Do We Parent,” which is out in stores now, while Rome reflects on breaking cycles and learning softness as a father.
And then… there’s Chapter 7—a moment so real, it’ll stop you in your tracks and spark a bigger conversation about trust, motherhood, and the decisions we don’t always get right.
This isn’t just about co-parenting—it’s about accountability, communication, and choosing better for the next generation.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FM
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I don't know if you don't lie about that.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Right, Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Laura Rosa and this
is the latest with Lauren Rosa. This is your daily
dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all
of the conversations that shake the room.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Baby.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Now I am bringing you, guys, another conversation that definitely
shook the room. So Ess Hilarious, co host of The
Breakfast Club, comedian, mother, and now author of All the Things,
sat down for a live Q and A with Me
hosted by Me with her son's dad, her son Ashton,
(00:43):
who she co parents with his dad Jerome or Rome. Now,
Jess Hilarious dropped her book Till Death Dewey Parent which
is available everywhere you get your books. There's also an audiobook.
I suggest the audiobook, I mean, unless you'd like to
physically have the copies as well, because Jess is so
animated and she actually reads book. It was a great
listen and an easy listen. Her book is out available everywhere.
(01:05):
She's recently hit you know, Amazon's Parenting and Families list.
She's number one on that list. So then she made
number two on another Amazon list for like comedy advice
books as well. The book is amazing, But this isn't
about my review. This episode is a real authentic live
conversation that we did via Instagram and now we're bringing
(01:26):
it here to the podcast because I think you guys
need to hear it. Even if you're not a co parent.
There is something that can be learned from jess in
Rome in their relationship, the ups, the downs, and you
know everything in between, about communication, about empathy and love
for people, for your people, about family family unit, about
generational trauma, and about women and how we take on
(01:50):
so many things and what that manifest or become and
how that becomes tangible in our real day to day lives.
So take a listen to this conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
God this book.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I want to hear from you guys getting outside in
the streets and the tweets and tell me what you
guys think about the conversation. When I think about cole
parenting after reading your book, I think about the code
and kind of how it's like a company, like you know,
you have different people that play different roles and leadership
within the company have to be right for everything else
to flow and sync so that you can get to
the one common goal, which is to raise your sun
(02:21):
ashen the best way that you guys can. So I
want to start from the beginning. I broke it up
into four different areas. So my first thing that I
want to touch on with you guys is the trauma.
So throughout the book, there's a lot that you guys
go through, both separately and together. So I want to
talk about the things separately first because I think that
(02:42):
it plays into why you guys relationship was, you know,
as traumatic as it was probably for both of you guys,
even though we hear more just aside here. But like Jess,
I know, you know during a lot of this, you're young.
You're very young. How old are you when the book
picks up with you telling Rome that you're pregnant.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
I was nineteen years old and we were in his
house and he was outside hooping, and I was I
was in the house pooping. That's the crazy stuff. I
was in a bathroom and then I just kept I
was nervous. I knew I had missed my period. I
was like, yo, I know I'm pregnant. I know I'm pregnant.
I know I'm pregnant, and I was scared to take
the test. Yeah, I was. I was afraid that me
(03:22):
telling him that I was pregnant will run him away
because we were young and we just didn't know what
we were doing. We were babies ourselves. And then I
was scared to tell my parents because they didn't even
know that I had a boyfriend and that I was
sneaking all the way on the other side of Baltimore
City to see him. So yeah, that's where it started.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I was nineteen and when you when you open with that,
I thought that was like really like, I mean, it's
the beginning of the story, but I thought that it
painted a different picture of you because us knowing just hilarious.
Now you're a very strong, bold, like you know, you
hold it together well, but we opened the book with
you completely falling apart because you're nineteen, you finit that
(03:57):
you're pregnant. Do you remember how you felt like in
that moment, just like mentally, like is there like a nerve?
You said you were nervous, but is there like a
nervousness to the point where like you know, you can't
even fathom what is to come next and your did
you think in life was over?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Like what is your life? I definitely knew it would
slowed me down. I didn't even know what career I
was going into. I didn't even know, That's what I'm saying.
Like we were real babies, literally babies. I was still
being raised by my parents. I'm nineteen, although I'm a
year away from twenty. I didn't know what avenue I
wanted to go and what industry I wanted to go.
And with a career, all I knew was I wanted
to model. I had to get out my mom's house,
(04:35):
you know what I'm saying. I had, she wanted me
to go to college, just certain things that I didn't
have together yet. And then here goes the baby that
It's like, oh my gosh, and I got I gotta
I gotta tell this nigga that I'm pregnant too, you
know what I'm saying. So it was it was definitely
like it was fear. It was fear. Yeah, it was nervous,
(04:55):
but it was fear. Fear for everything, my life, my parents,
my boyfriend. Like you know, I don't know how.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Much of that fear do you think you held onto
throughout the remainder of the relationship until y'all got to
the co parenting part. Because it started off what you
feeling like, everything's in shamboos, this may not work, I
don't know what I'm doing. How much of that did
you hold onto throughout the whole time or did you
ever let that go and be like not when you
got to the code not the good part. But when
I were going through things, was that in the back
(05:25):
of your mind? It was?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
It definitely was in the back of my mind, and
honestly what made me feel better. It was like bitter sweet,
bitter sweet, because I'm scared when I found out I'm pregnant,
when I find out I'm pregnant, and then I'm scared
when I tell Rome. But Rome relieved me of a
lot of that pressure because I remember, I said, I
thought that he was gonna be like, oh shit, bye,
I'm gone, but he was happy. He was oh shit,
(05:47):
were gonna have a baby? Like what are you crying for?
What's going on? So that made me feel better for
a minute until I remember, damn, I gotta tell my parents,
and then damn, if we have the baby, we gotta
raise it. And where is it gonna we don't live together,
we don't have job, we don't have a house, We're
gonna be in separate homes. All of that was running
through my mind because that's what happens, like you create
scenarios in your head when you don't know what else
(06:10):
to do, you know, And then so I have the
baby and we start going through things, and so now
that fear is back, because I'm like, damn, we can't
be a family. We can't be a family, not even
thinking that, Yo, the life is Our life is not
gonna be over. Your life is not over. We still
have a baby to raise, and we have to come
(06:32):
together and get past all this, even in our young
minds trying to figure out like how we navigate this
co parenting journey at such a young age with trauma
on both sides more so wronged than I, but we
were trying to figure it out. So Yeah, that fear left,
came back, left came back, and it finally and it
finally totally subsided once he and I got past our
(06:55):
feelings for each other, because then it was nothing else
to be afraid of.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Brom, I have a really honest, ask a question for
you when I was reading that part of the book,
and the reason why I asked just that is because
I feel like, you know, in the beginning, when Jess
tells you she's pregnant, you're like very supportive and you
know you're excited. But as you guys begin to go
through things, I feel like you know exactly what to
do and say every time to make her feel that
(07:19):
support that she felt the very beginning, Like you know,
like you know you had her there. How much of
the situation when y'all were going back and forth about,
you know, being good and not being good, how much
of that in your mind was actual manipulation because you
needed to feed your ego or you actually cared about
being with your family.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I'm gonna make this clear. I never had an ego.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Oh what you got an ego right now? I'm sorry
when you and.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
It was never an ego those things to lawn you.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I had one honest answer for you, my dad. It
was taught like I was so imagine like I said,
I'm nineteen as well, but I was just so superb
Like it was just so I was so.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Superb at it, and.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
I just in mind, my dad never sat me down
and said this and said that I just listened, and
I was like, when I was fourteen, I probably was
like seventeen. So when I'm nineteen, i'm probably mentally on
certain levels, I'm probably like twenty three. So like, I
don't know, man, I just always knew what to say,
even in school. I just I always was the one
(08:30):
who got everybody out of trouble and all of that.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
But I did tell you, I did make mention a
lot that he is very charming and that's how he
got me to keep coming back. And although he said
the ego is not in him knowing what to say
to get me back, he does have He's always had
an ego, a very big ego. But I do believe
that you did want to.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Have family when telling when saying those things to you,
wasn't an ego.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
It's just I knew what to say. And yes, of course,
you know I always use.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
My charming yeah, and my nice teeth and smile and
I will get my way.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Not. I'm the birthday, So you know what I'm saying,
somebody my nice smile.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Somebody called me the birthday the other day.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
What that means, Oh, okay, it's a whole it's a
whole The birthday means like you is like, all.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Right, that's why.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I got mad though, Like I really want to hang out,
you said, you see because it was a lot.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Of people around. She's saying you the birthday, and I'm
like what.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Like, what the wh.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
I'm like, okay, okay, my follow up question for you, Ron,
But you said, you know you you you just listened
and that your dad ever said certain things. So you
just listened and you watched. Jess talks a lot about
for the later part of the book your relationship with
your dad, and I think once just realizes, like once
(09:53):
you guys, step out of your relationship, right, and we're
still talking about the trauma from the relationship, but once
you step out of it, I think Ess is then
able to clear really see some of the things that built,
you know, the hurt that was being put on to
her because your dad read this book.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
No, my dad ain't read it yet, but.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
No, okay, what was your dad like in candid conversations
when everything was happening with you and Jess, when the
baby shower moment happened, when the you know, what was
he saying to you like was there every time he
comes to you as a man and be like, no,
get together.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
No, my dad was always more of a protector. Right,
he provided when he can, but you know he linked
on my step mother a lot for that part. But like,
my dad was more of a protector. And I've had
and not crazy. But the beautiful thing about the moment
(10:46):
I'm explaining to you now is I honestly finally was
able to get me and my dad to sit on
and talk and asked him why were you like that?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
And his reason was.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Because of my dad. My dad only protected and provided.
Now we got into the other things as well. But
like I understand why my dad and my grandfather, which
is my mother father. Though I understand why those two men,
I understand more why those two men did the things
that they did and how they treated me. And to
(11:25):
understand that honestly.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Made me love them and cherish them even more because
times back then was a little different than now.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Like you know now that I'm vulnerable to talk about
things and open up my feelings to my child mom
or whatever the case may be, or to you or
to the colleagues, my dad and my grandfather couldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
So even when my mom died, I asked my father.
I'm like, well, why didn't you just get me therapy?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Dad?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
He said, he said, well what he call me? My nickname?
He said, I didn't know. I didn't know any of that.
So so it was just like a past.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
It was he only he only knew to teach you
what he learned, and that wasn't really nude.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
I got mad at him and I did say, you know,
my mouth is reckless at times. I got mad at
my father and I said, your father wasn't a father,
he was a provider.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's two different things.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Yeah, what conversations are you, guys, Because on both sides,
when I hear Justice Book and I'm talking to you now, Rome,
I hear so much like trauma that's passed down and
not even trauma like even just decision making just ways.
I yes, you've talked about watching your mom stay with
your dad through things, and all throughout this book you
are holding it down for the men that you love,
(12:39):
and I'm like, why why is she not choosing herself?
But it comes from you know, you watching your mom
roam a lot of things. I'm hearing you you watching
and listening to your dad, what things today and y'all
in y'all's co parents and relationship today, Are you guys
being very intentional about not passing on to your children
from yourselves.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Well, that's a that's a good question, and that's something
that Wrong is actually working on right now, you know,
trying not to PreCure. Oh well, I can't. I'm sorry,
I can't even answer for you. I'm so used to
like doing a goddamn interviews by myself. I'm sorry, But
I do see that he is, you know, learning to
cope with his traumas much better. And something that he
used to do was project his traumas onto his children
(13:18):
because he just wanted to be the father that his
father was not, because his grandfather wasn't a good father
to his father, you know. So he's tried I see
a lot of I see that in Wrong, He's trying
to break those generational curses and create new patterns so
his kids won't have to go through the things that
he went through. So I do see that. Would you
(13:39):
agree with that?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Or yeah, yeah, I will agree.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
I think the biggest thing that I'm at right now
is trying to be more soft, softer with your kids,
with my children especially like not even just especially my boys,
but I got girls too, but especially with my oldest
because I put so much on him because he's the
oldest and he's my first.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
That's not a question, should be a statement.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Clarified for the audience may not know.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
They should know.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
And I didn't name him a junior because I hated
my name growing up and I didn't want him to.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Have to go through that. Who names a person Jerome?
But whatever, Oh my.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
God, all the Jerome's out there, love you guys.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
I'm sorry Jerome with okay, all the yes, yes, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
I'm special.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
I am special, and I'm in this. I'm in the
state and I was born in I'm special. But my
dad I'm just trying to be sorry for because my
son getting older now, and I feel like when you're
so so so strict and soul.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Hard, they tend to hide ship.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Yeah, and my son is my child, like he actually
liked me.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I hate it. He he got my ways and I'm
trying to break him out of that.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
But I also want him to be able to talk
to me and come to me so that I can
give him what to do before it go wrong, if
that makes sense. Yeah, So I'm in that stage. I'm
in that stage. I want my kid, my kids to
be able to talk to me, and it's a little hard.
It's not hard, but it is a little hard because.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
I'm not their friend.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
M hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
They dad, and uh.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
It is comfort, you know, I'm his you know, nurture,
have fun, we do all that.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
But I never wanted to be my kid friend.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
But I also want my baby he growing up, and
I want my baby to be able to tell me
everything because.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I couldn't do that with my dad, like he would
shut me down.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
And maybe some of that came into me with not
letting my be able to talk to me and not
just saying no, but just it might be my energy,
or might be my face, or it might be my oral.
My son pick up on all that, Like I can
come in from work and he'd be I ain't even
gonna talk to ya, And he don't say it, but
he's ay, he's like his father. He I read my
(16:16):
son energy, and sometimes I don't like it because I'm like, yo,
why why why.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Did I do that? Right?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
So love that I'm just trying to be soft, that's it.
I ain't really got nothing else good.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
That's a I mean, that's a for a man to
know and be aware of that. I know Jess talks
about it in her book. So you've been working on
it for some time. To be at it and try
to consistently still work at that, that's a that's a
huge thing. That ain't nothing to you know, play down.
We have some questions from the chat from.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
The ok that would be great because I know you
got your goal.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
We got the goal.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I'm here until the people come knocking at the door
and knock the cops.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I got to hear make up.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
So yeah, So questions from the chat, how we use
this book to show your son not how life can be,
but how it can become if this, if these things
happen him. But basically, if your son ends up in
a situation where he's having so co parent or just
work through things with a person he's in a relationship with,
trying to have a family with, how will you y'all
use this book to talk them through it?
Speaker 3 (17:10):
The experience is is that's why we write. We wrote
so candidly about our experiences and it's some and then
I need for y'all understand a lot of things. A
lot of things didn't make the book. That's why Rome's
going to write part two from a father's perspective. But
the things that didn't make the book, even those things,
it's just stories and experiences that helped us get through it.
And I'm gonna keep saying it. It's being honest and communicating,
(17:32):
and when you're in your feelings about things, that's hard
to do because you're trying to you you're all the
it's a goal of getting a person back, you know
what I mean, And you're gonna do anything to get
that person back, especially if you want your family, you know,
and you haven't been honest or haven't been the best
person to be in a relationship with. So you're gonna
start lying to keep that person around. You're gonna start
(17:54):
telling that person what they want to hear to keep
that person around. And you may feel compelled to do that,
but no honesty will get you much more, much further.
And then another thing that it can teach our son
and y'all kids as well is having to understand how
people think. I had to understand how Rome looked at
certain situations and why he looked at them that way.
(18:16):
Why he assessed certain issues that way. He's a very
He was very he was a very defensive person. Still
now sometimes when it comes to the topic of his
mom and his kids, he's very defensive, and I understand that.
But he was like that with everything at one point,
and it was like kind of hard to talk to
him because he couldn't express himself in certain ways either,
(18:36):
and either neither could I because now I'm it's like
a battle of energy. So once you take feelings out
of it and you understand how to give grace and
understand how a person thinks, y'all would be but it's
nothing that nobody can tell y'all. It's nothing, because that's
understanding and grace on a different level.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Another question from the chat is what is one chapter
that people are not ready.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
For Chapter seven? Rome is not even ready for that.
I didn't I it's talking about a.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Bit with chapter seven, like just don't give it off,
but just a little synopsis.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Okay, So basically in the book I talk about a
period and Rome. Rome didn't know this, so okay, but
there was a time where, I mean a period of
time where I had to move to La because I
was shooting the Fox sitcom roul.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Yes, yes, that chapter is good, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Yes and yeah, oh you are ready? Oh right yeah,
because you didn't tell me you finished it. You stopped
at one point. Okay, well okay, So then I went.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Let's go ahead, finish, come in because I have never
been anything.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
All right, wait, I'm gonna tell you and then you
can say whatever. Okay. So I moved to La. I
was shooting the Fox sitcom route and I had I
was dating somebody, had a boyfriend at that time. He
was living in the condo out of LA with me,
and Ash was there as well, and we had fourteen
to eighteen hour days on set, you know what I mean.
(20:06):
So I couldn't take Ash all the time. I'm asking
him like, hey, I need you to keep Ash on
this day, on these days, I need you to help
me out. I go to work one day, I come home.
My son is in the house by himself, and he
had told me that he had been left in there
for about five or six hours. You get what I'm saying.
Because my ex boyfriend was a fucking gambler and he
(20:29):
would do anything to get to the casino. He would
do anything to get money, to win or to lose
whatever his whatever. The verdict on the casino was that day,
he would do anything to get you know what it
is to be and you know what it's like. You know,
we just offset get shot. And he was right back
in a canseido or the next day. So you know
how addictive it is and how addicting it is, you know.
(20:51):
And he left my son in the house for five
or six hours. I come home. Now when Ash told me,
I was like, okay, you're going back to work with me.
Obviously that could have like fucked everything up on set,
but they were understanding. They knew that I was out
there and I had my son out there.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
And how old was Ash at this time?
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oh my god. Ash may have been like five or six, Yes,
he was six. And he was still in the same
because he was dirty. He was still in the same
clothes from the night before when I left him, and
he was like, I'm hungry. So I'm like, not only
did you leave my son in the house, you didn't
feed him, you didn't take him. I mean, you didn't
tell him get in a shower because he could bathe
his self by the in but you didn't you know,
you didn't even try to tell him put on any clothes.
(21:33):
You didn't take him outside the house with you. He
had the balcony door open, flies in the house because
he was probably cold because I kept the air up high,
and you know what I mean. So I was just
I felt as a mom, I dropped the ball because
this is the nigga that I committed myself to, you
know what I'm saying, trying to get over another guy.
He was a rebound that I stayed with too long,
(21:55):
and I was dating selfishly. That was in my that
was my period. I was dating guys for me, not
for he wasn't even for me, but just going off
of what made me feel good, what made me you
know what I mean, not even for my son. And
that is the part that I talk about in the
book as well. Yo, you got to pick somebody that
(22:17):
is not only good for you, that's good for your kid.
That niggag you hand no kids and you want none.
And he didn't even care to.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
She broke my heart when I read when I was
listening to that point, because I know how you are
about your baby, and roma I can't imagine when you
read it.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah, I ain't. Before I read it, I red knew it.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
But I'm gonna tell you how strict my program is.
I don't allow my son to come to me and
tell me what his mother did vice versa blet. Somebody's
physically harming you, physically harming you. So even reading a book,
I've seen it. I felt worry about it, but I
renew it because I asked my son certain things. I
don't ask them everything, but I ask them certain things
(22:55):
like and I don't ask them like, oh, bro, tell
me what the now?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
How was it? What? Over case me?
Speaker 4 (23:00):
My baby is very vocal when you can get it
out of him, but that ain't do nothing. But just
when he told me, I couldn't be mad at his mom.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Tell you why.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Sometimes as parents, we gotta go to work. Yeah, and
you expecting on trusting the school.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
The daycare, the home babysit or aunt, the uncle whoever
to take care of your child right, and he failed
at that.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
So that would be one of the ones where my
son ever got to be around you again. If my
son was to see you, especially when I'm right there,
don't speak to him. And my son is that kid
of mine, he's his father's child, But it was more
so like, nah, I didn't get mad at the mom
she ain't know. It was like she was laying right
there like, oh, yeah, that's fine, you know. And I
(23:54):
actually just seen a clip. I think it was fake.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I don't know everything, so you can't believe nothing.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
And the nigga come sorry, the young man come in
the house and his girlfriend in a bed eating popeyees,
but the son is laying.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Next to her.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
He like, well, hey, when you eating pop pe'es? When
my son eat, he like, he ate rice? And she
say he like, y'all left all at one o'clock. I
got off at ten. She said, yeah, you fed rice.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
But then they make me like cause the little boy
just so happy. Yeah, but it's like that type of shit.
Even me looking at it, I'm like, uncle, doone violence.
I have knocked the whole head off right right.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
And see, when I wrote that part in the book,
I was I was afraid to tell you even in
that moment. And even that's why you didn't know, you
know what I mean. I wouldn't have taken it to
my grave, but I certainly would have if I didn't
write it in a book. I don't know how long
it would have taken me to tell you, But I
didn't because you've always helped me high up in regards
to being a mom. You've always put me on a pedestal.
(24:56):
You've always given me my flowers when it comes to
you know, my parental guidance and and my parental skills
and how I raise your son, you know. And I
just didn't want that on my reputation from you, because child,
somebody do something to put your kids in jeopardy, you
go crazy. So I was very afraid to tell you.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
My stupid Yeah, so like that type of shit, I
ain't crashing out about. It's more so on you leave them,
not even then, I wouldn't crash out about that type
of situation because if you leave them or men you
cut off, you're done. Yeah, that's it, because I know
how I move. These women don't play with my kids.
If you're around my child, you have to treat them
(25:37):
like they're yours. If you don't, you're done. And I
can't even go back and say that's happened. Every woman
that's been around my kid, they love my son, that's right.
And the thing about him is he got away with it.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
And I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
But it's like, all right, son, I understand, Yeah, yeah,
I ain't funny like yo, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
I don't fault you because at the end of the day,
like went to work, Yeah, what's that twenty summer hours
away from me. I couldn't get him.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
You know, and I picked him up and took him
back to work. Yep, and it never it didn't happen again,
and from then on I had I tried.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
To get That's still not a response even at that moment.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
You know, we're talking about our past, but it's still
not on you because at the end of the day
was going to work. That shit could have happened in school,
That shit could have happened in daycare. It could have
happened anywhere. So I don't even want you to beat
yourself up about it. I wish you honestly would have
told me then so we could have even just talked
about it.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
But I'm not.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
I'm not because, like I said, I didn't left him
in situation, not situations, but environment where wasn't too fond
of my cleaning. But I had to go class and
make some money. So but no, mante but you gotta
understand too, that didynamic for whoever in a check.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
O.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Parenting ain't easy, man, it ain't.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I'm listening to you guys.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Parenting ain't easy at all. It's it's I'm gonna say this.
It's what you make it.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah, that's that's the whole.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
The hardest part about it is that child growing up
and going through their different stages, because now you got
to relearn your child. Now you got to adjust to
your child because we already adults like ash right now
he's a teenage Yeah, he's fourteen and boy, so you
gotta he's a boy, so you gotta maneuver, right, you
got now you got now ashen Oh, about to go
(27:36):
to high school. Got a girlfriend. Yeah, then he's talking
to other women, you know, and he and guess what,
listen watch this, and his with you don't tell me,
they tell me. He tell my girl that, and he's
with dad step in. I don't want to break him.
I don't want to break his I don't want to
break him in my girl bond. So it's a lot
(27:56):
of shit. I don't say that, she said too, because
I want him to tell how everything if he wants
to fall. But but these is conversations where I just
know how to lead the conversation into him telling me, well,
one thing, I say, Bro, you're a kid. You can
deal with any woman you want. But everything else is irrelevant,
especially when that great point average dropped.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Well, I'm gonna have to talk. That's because that's me.
You have to tell him he can't cheat on nobody.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Well, how he put it, how he put it to
Maria and Grandma is two different ways. So I don't
know he.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Told his grandmother day cheating on a girl. Don't know what.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
He telling Maria. She's not his girlfriend, she's just his
main one. So that conversation is going to be had.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
All right, look like we need later. It's all good.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I don't condone him doing that. And I'm so serious.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
I'm so I think.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I think, as dad who's been through it and been
in it, it'll get you where you y'all have that conversation.
I think you you know your child best into how
to navigate it.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Jess.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I understand as a mom and as a woman. Right
you Instantly you're like, Nope, sit down, you can't do this,
you can't do that. But I do think as you're
watching young men grow into men. I think it takes
a little bit more of like a nuance, like let's
let's go through this experience and I can like write
from wrong you So you know y'all figured that out
in between the two of y'all. But you can see
y'all dynamic right now. It's like I can almost see
(29:21):
like how your conversation will go with Ash about that
versus Roome's conversation. And it's beautiful to see that he
will have both because a lot of people don't have that,
and I think you're seeing that in real time.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yeah, yeah, he never did.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Okay, but guess what wrong is wrong? And he gonna
cut it out. I love it.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I love that. So thank you. Yup, you can be
the one to teach you that. No problem. I ain't
gonna say nothing negative until later on.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Well, I know we have to wrap the live, but
I want to make sure, jes you tell people where
they can get the book what you have happened in today.
The rest of this read wrong. Thanks for joining us.
This is the first interview that room has been in.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I got the exclusive.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Yeah, but the book is out now, guys, you can
get it online. It's and bookstores, but you can get
it online if you go to my website jesselarisoficial dot
com or Barnes and Nobles, Simon and Schuster, anyway you
get your books Amazon, Amazon, Walmart, Target, It's in stores.
I'm excited. I couldn't be more happier. Thank you Lauren
(30:18):
for doing this, baby girl. I love you so much.
But moderating it just coming to my aid all the
time when I need something. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
And you talked them about the audiobook.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Oh yes, Oh, and I did the audiobook as well.
We got paperback, hardcover and a digital CD. And we
also have the audiobook in case you want to hear it.
If you're always on to move and you don't have
time to sit down and read, or if you can't read,
you can listen, guys, And I can read and I
can write. That's why I wrote the book. I need
y'all to understand it. I just can't read grow fasts,
(30:51):
but I'm reading this book and it is amazing. All right,
all right, thank you so much, Lauren.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
He
I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I don't know if you don't lie about that.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Right, Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Laura Rosa and this
is the latest with Lauren Rosa. This is your daily
dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all
of the conversations that shake the room.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Baby.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Now I am bringing you, guys, another conversation that definitely
shook the room. So Ess Hilarious, co host of The
Breakfast Club, comedian, mother, and now author of All the Things,
sat down for a live Q and A with Me
hosted by Me with her son's dad, her son Ashton,
(00:43):
who she co parents with his dad Jerome or Rome. Now,
Jess Hilarious dropped her book Till Death Dewey Parent which
is available everywhere you get your books. There's also an audiobook.
I suggest the audiobook, I mean, unless you'd like to
physically have the copies as well, because Jess is so
animated and she actually reads book. It was a great
listen and an easy listen. Her book is out available everywhere.
(01:05):
She's recently hit you know, Amazon's Parenting and Families list.
She's number one on that list. So then she made
number two on another Amazon list for like comedy advice
books as well. The book is amazing, But this isn't
about my review. This episode is a real authentic live
conversation that we did via Instagram and now we're bringing
(01:26):
it here to the podcast because I think you guys
need to hear it. Even if you're not a co parent.
There is something that can be learned from jess in
Rome in their relationship, the ups, the downs, and you
know everything in between, about communication, about empathy and love
for people, for your people, about family family unit, about
generational trauma, and about women and how we take on
(01:50):
so many things and what that manifest or become and
how that becomes tangible in our real day to day lives.
So take a listen to this conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
God this book.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I want to hear from you guys getting outside in
the streets and the tweets and tell me what you
guys think about the conversation. When I think about cole
parenting after reading your book, I think about the code
and kind of how it's like a company, like you know,
you have different people that play different roles and leadership
within the company have to be right for everything else
to flow and sync so that you can get to
the one common goal, which is to raise your sun
(02:21):
ashen the best way that you guys can. So I
want to start from the beginning. I broke it up
into four different areas. So my first thing that I
want to touch on with you guys is the trauma.
So throughout the book, there's a lot that you guys
go through, both separately and together. So I want to
talk about the things separately first because I think that
(02:42):
it plays into why you guys relationship was, you know,
as traumatic as it was probably for both of you guys,
even though we hear more just aside here. But like Jess,
I know, you know during a lot of this, you're young.
You're very young. How old are you when the book
picks up with you telling Rome that you're pregnant.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
I was nineteen years old and we were in his
house and he was outside hooping, and I was I
was in the house pooping. That's the crazy stuff. I
was in a bathroom and then I just kept I
was nervous. I knew I had missed my period. I
was like, yo, I know I'm pregnant. I know I'm pregnant.
I know I'm pregnant, and I was scared to take
the test. Yeah, I was. I was afraid that me
(03:22):
telling him that I was pregnant will run him away
because we were young and we just didn't know what
we were doing. We were babies ourselves. And then I
was scared to tell my parents because they didn't even
know that I had a boyfriend and that I was
sneaking all the way on the other side of Baltimore
City to see him. So yeah, that's where it started.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I was nineteen and when you when you open with that,
I thought that was like really like, I mean, it's
the beginning of the story, but I thought that it
painted a different picture of you because us knowing just hilarious.
Now you're a very strong, bold, like you know, you
hold it together well, but we opened the book with
you completely falling apart because you're nineteen, you finit that
(03:57):
you're pregnant. Do you remember how you felt like in
that moment, just like mentally, like is there like a nerve?
You said you were nervous, but is there like a
nervousness to the point where like you know, you can't
even fathom what is to come next and your did
you think in life was over?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Like what is your life? I definitely knew it would
slowed me down. I didn't even know what career I
was going into. I didn't even know, That's what I'm saying.
Like we were real babies, literally babies. I was still
being raised by my parents. I'm nineteen, although I'm a
year away from twenty. I didn't know what avenue I
wanted to go and what industry I wanted to go.
And with a career, all I knew was I wanted
to model. I had to get out my mom's house,
(04:35):
you know what I'm saying. I had, she wanted me
to go to college, just certain things that I didn't
have together yet. And then here goes the baby that
It's like, oh my gosh, and I got I gotta
I gotta tell this nigga that I'm pregnant too, you
know what I'm saying. So it was it was definitely
like it was fear. It was fear. Yeah, it was nervous,
(04:55):
but it was fear. Fear for everything, my life, my parents,
my boyfriend. Like you know, I don't know how.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Much of that fear do you think you held onto
throughout the remainder of the relationship until y'all got to
the co parenting part. Because it started off what you
feeling like, everything's in shamboos, this may not work, I
don't know what I'm doing. How much of that did
you hold onto throughout the whole time or did you
ever let that go and be like not when you
got to the code not the good part. But when
I were going through things, was that in the back
(05:25):
of your mind? It was?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
It definitely was in the back of my mind, and
honestly what made me feel better. It was like bitter sweet,
bitter sweet, because I'm scared when I found out I'm pregnant,
when I find out I'm pregnant, and then I'm scared
when I tell Rome. But Rome relieved me of a
lot of that pressure because I remember, I said, I
thought that he was gonna be like, oh shit, bye,
I'm gone, but he was happy. He was oh shit,
(05:47):
were gonna have a baby? Like what are you crying for?
What's going on? So that made me feel better for
a minute until I remember, damn, I gotta tell my parents,
and then damn, if we have the baby, we gotta
raise it. And where is it gonna we don't live together,
we don't have job, we don't have a house, We're
gonna be in separate homes. All of that was running
through my mind because that's what happens, like you create
scenarios in your head when you don't know what else
(06:10):
to do, you know, And then so I have the
baby and we start going through things, and so now
that fear is back, because I'm like, damn, we can't
be a family. We can't be a family, not even
thinking that, Yo, the life is Our life is not
gonna be over. Your life is not over. We still
have a baby to raise, and we have to come
(06:32):
together and get past all this, even in our young
minds trying to figure out like how we navigate this
co parenting journey at such a young age with trauma
on both sides more so wronged than I, but we
were trying to figure it out. So Yeah, that fear left,
came back, left came back, and it finally and it
finally totally subsided once he and I got past our
(06:55):
feelings for each other, because then it was nothing else
to be afraid of.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Brom, I have a really honest, ask a question for
you when I was reading that part of the book,
and the reason why I asked just that is because
I feel like, you know, in the beginning, when Jess
tells you she's pregnant, you're like very supportive and you
know you're excited. But as you guys begin to go
through things, I feel like you know exactly what to
do and say every time to make her feel that
(07:19):
support that she felt the very beginning, Like you know,
like you know you had her there. How much of
the situation when y'all were going back and forth about,
you know, being good and not being good, how much
of that in your mind was actual manipulation because you
needed to feed your ego or you actually cared about
being with your family.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I'm gonna make this clear. I never had an ego.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Oh what you got an ego right now? I'm sorry
when you and.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
It was never an ego those things to lawn you.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I had one honest answer for you, my dad. It
was taught like I was so imagine like I said,
I'm nineteen as well, but I was just so superb
Like it was just so I was so.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Superb at it, and.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
I just in mind, my dad never sat me down
and said this and said that I just listened, and
I was like, when I was fourteen, I probably was
like seventeen. So when I'm nineteen, i'm probably mentally on
certain levels, I'm probably like twenty three. So like, I
don't know, man, I just always knew what to say,
even in school. I just I always was the one
(08:30):
who got everybody out of trouble and all of that.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
But I did tell you, I did make mention a
lot that he is very charming and that's how he
got me to keep coming back. And although he said
the ego is not in him knowing what to say
to get me back, he does have He's always had
an ego, a very big ego. But I do believe
that you did want to.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Have family when telling when saying those things to you,
wasn't an ego.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
It's just I knew what to say. And yes, of course,
you know I always use.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
My charming yeah, and my nice teeth and smile and
I will get my way.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Not. I'm the birthday, So you know what I'm saying,
somebody my nice smile.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Somebody called me the birthday the other day.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
What that means, Oh, okay, it's a whole it's a
whole The birthday means like you is like, all.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Right, that's why.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I got mad though, Like I really want to hang out,
you said, you see because it was a lot.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Of people around. She's saying you the birthday, and I'm
like what.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Like, what the wh.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
I'm like, okay, okay, my follow up question for you, Ron,
But you said, you know you you you just listened
and that your dad ever said certain things. So you
just listened and you watched. Jess talks a lot about
for the later part of the book your relationship with
your dad, and I think once just realizes, like once
(09:53):
you guys, step out of your relationship, right, and we're
still talking about the trauma from the relationship, but once
you step out of it, I think Ess is then
able to clear really see some of the things that built,
you know, the hurt that was being put on to
her because your dad read this book.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
No, my dad ain't read it yet, but.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
No, okay, what was your dad like in candid conversations
when everything was happening with you and Jess, when the
baby shower moment happened, when the you know, what was
he saying to you like was there every time he
comes to you as a man and be like, no,
get together.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
No, my dad was always more of a protector. Right,
he provided when he can, but you know he linked
on my step mother a lot for that part. But like,
my dad was more of a protector. And I've had
and not crazy. But the beautiful thing about the moment
(10:46):
I'm explaining to you now is I honestly finally was
able to get me and my dad to sit on
and talk and asked him why were you like that?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
And his reason was.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Because of my dad. My dad only protected and provided.
Now we got into the other things as well. But
like I understand why my dad and my grandfather, which
is my mother father. Though I understand why those two men,
I understand more why those two men did the things
that they did and how they treated me. And to
(11:25):
understand that honestly.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Made me love them and cherish them even more because
times back then was a little different than now.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Like you know now that I'm vulnerable to talk about
things and open up my feelings to my child mom
or whatever the case may be, or to you or
to the colleagues, my dad and my grandfather couldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
So even when my mom died, I asked my father.
I'm like, well, why didn't you just get me therapy?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Dad?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
He said, he said, well what he call me? My nickname?
He said, I didn't know. I didn't know any of that.
So so it was just like a past.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
It was he only he only knew to teach you
what he learned, and that wasn't really nude.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
I got mad at him and I did say, you know,
my mouth is reckless at times. I got mad at
my father and I said, your father wasn't a father,
he was a provider.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's two different things.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Yeah, what conversations are you, guys, Because on both sides,
when I hear Justice Book and I'm talking to you now, Rome,
I hear so much like trauma that's passed down and
not even trauma like even just decision making just ways.
I yes, you've talked about watching your mom stay with
your dad through things, and all throughout this book you
are holding it down for the men that you love,
(12:39):
and I'm like, why why is she not choosing herself?
But it comes from you know, you watching your mom
roam a lot of things. I'm hearing you you watching
and listening to your dad, what things today and y'all
in y'all's co parents and relationship today, Are you guys
being very intentional about not passing on to your children
from yourselves.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Well, that's a that's a good question, and that's something
that Wrong is actually working on right now, you know,
trying not to PreCure. Oh well, I can't. I'm sorry,
I can't even answer for you. I'm so used to
like doing a goddamn interviews by myself. I'm sorry, But
I do see that he is, you know, learning to
cope with his traumas much better. And something that he
used to do was project his traumas onto his children
(13:18):
because he just wanted to be the father that his
father was not, because his grandfather wasn't a good father
to his father, you know. So he's tried I see
a lot of I see that in Wrong, He's trying
to break those generational curses and create new patterns so
his kids won't have to go through the things that
he went through. So I do see that. Would you
(13:39):
agree with that?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Or yeah, yeah, I will agree.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
I think the biggest thing that I'm at right now
is trying to be more soft, softer with your kids,
with my children especially like not even just especially my boys,
but I got girls too, but especially with my oldest
because I put so much on him because he's the
oldest and he's my first.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
That's not a question, should be a statement.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Clarified for the audience may not know.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
They should know.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
And I didn't name him a junior because I hated
my name growing up and I didn't want him to.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Have to go through that. Who names a person Jerome?
But whatever, Oh my.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
God, all the Jerome's out there, love you guys.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
I'm sorry Jerome with okay, all the yes, yes, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
I'm special.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
I am special, and I'm in this. I'm in the
state and I was born in I'm special. But my
dad I'm just trying to be sorry for because my
son getting older now, and I feel like when you're
so so so strict and soul.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Hard, they tend to hide ship.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Yeah, and my son is my child, like he actually
liked me.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I hate it. He he got my ways and I'm
trying to break him out of that.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
But I also want him to be able to talk
to me and come to me so that I can
give him what to do before it go wrong, if
that makes sense. Yeah, So I'm in that stage. I'm
in that stage. I want my kid, my kids to
be able to talk to me, and it's a little hard.
It's not hard, but it is a little hard because.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
I'm not their friend.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
M hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
They dad, and uh.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
It is comfort, you know, I'm his you know, nurture,
have fun, we do all that.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
But I never wanted to be my kid friend.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
But I also want my baby he growing up, and
I want my baby to be able to tell me
everything because.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I couldn't do that with my dad, like he would
shut me down.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
And maybe some of that came into me with not
letting my be able to talk to me and not
just saying no, but just it might be my energy,
or might be my face, or it might be my oral.
My son pick up on all that, Like I can
come in from work and he'd be I ain't even
gonna talk to ya, And he don't say it, but
he's ay, he's like his father. He I read my
(16:16):
son energy, and sometimes I don't like it because I'm like, yo,
why why why.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Did I do that? Right?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
So love that I'm just trying to be soft, that's it.
I ain't really got nothing else good.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
That's a I mean, that's a for a man to
know and be aware of that. I know Jess talks
about it in her book. So you've been working on
it for some time. To be at it and try
to consistently still work at that, that's a that's a
huge thing. That ain't nothing to you know, play down.
We have some questions from the chat from.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
The ok that would be great because I know you
got your goal.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
We got the goal.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I'm here until the people come knocking at the door
and knock the cops.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I got to hear make up.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
So yeah, So questions from the chat, how we use
this book to show your son not how life can be,
but how it can become if this, if these things
happen him. But basically, if your son ends up in
a situation where he's having so co parent or just
work through things with a person he's in a relationship with,
trying to have a family with, how will you y'all
use this book to talk them through it?
Speaker 3 (17:10):
The experience is is that's why we write. We wrote
so candidly about our experiences and it's some and then
I need for y'all understand a lot of things. A
lot of things didn't make the book. That's why Rome's
going to write part two from a father's perspective. But
the things that didn't make the book, even those things,
it's just stories and experiences that helped us get through it.
And I'm gonna keep saying it. It's being honest and communicating,
(17:32):
and when you're in your feelings about things, that's hard
to do because you're trying to you you're all the
it's a goal of getting a person back, you know
what I mean, And you're gonna do anything to get
that person back, especially if you want your family, you know,
and you haven't been honest or haven't been the best
person to be in a relationship with. So you're gonna
start lying to keep that person around. You're gonna start
(17:54):
telling that person what they want to hear to keep
that person around. And you may feel compelled to do that,
but no honesty will get you much more, much further.
And then another thing that it can teach our son
and y'all kids as well is having to understand how
people think. I had to understand how Rome looked at
certain situations and why he looked at them that way.
(18:16):
Why he assessed certain issues that way. He's a very
He was very he was a very defensive person. Still
now sometimes when it comes to the topic of his
mom and his kids, he's very defensive, and I understand that.
But he was like that with everything at one point,
and it was like kind of hard to talk to
him because he couldn't express himself in certain ways either,
(18:36):
and either neither could I because now I'm it's like
a battle of energy. So once you take feelings out
of it and you understand how to give grace and
understand how a person thinks, y'all would be but it's
nothing that nobody can tell y'all. It's nothing, because that's
understanding and grace on a different level.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Another question from the chat is what is one chapter
that people are not ready.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
For Chapter seven? Rome is not even ready for that.
I didn't I it's talking about a.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Bit with chapter seven, like just don't give it off,
but just a little synopsis.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Okay, So basically in the book I talk about a
period and Rome. Rome didn't know this, so okay, but
there was a time where, I mean a period of
time where I had to move to La because I
was shooting the Fox sitcom roul.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Yes, yes, that chapter is good, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Yes and yeah, oh you are ready? Oh right yeah,
because you didn't tell me you finished it. You stopped
at one point. Okay, well okay, So then I went.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Let's go ahead, finish, come in because I have never
been anything.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
All right, wait, I'm gonna tell you and then you
can say whatever. Okay. So I moved to La. I
was shooting the Fox sitcom route and I had I
was dating somebody, had a boyfriend at that time. He
was living in the condo out of LA with me,
and Ash was there as well, and we had fourteen
to eighteen hour days on set, you know what I mean.
(20:06):
So I couldn't take Ash all the time. I'm asking
him like, hey, I need you to keep Ash on
this day, on these days, I need you to help
me out. I go to work one day, I come home.
My son is in the house by himself, and he
had told me that he had been left in there
for about five or six hours. You get what I'm saying.
Because my ex boyfriend was a fucking gambler and he
(20:29):
would do anything to get to the casino. He would
do anything to get money, to win or to lose
whatever his whatever. The verdict on the casino was that day,
he would do anything to get you know what it
is to be and you know what it's like. You know,
we just offset get shot. And he was right back
in a canseido or the next day. So you know
how addictive it is and how addicting it is, you know.
(20:51):
And he left my son in the house for five
or six hours. I come home. Now when Ash told me,
I was like, okay, you're going back to work with me.
Obviously that could have like fucked everything up on set,
but they were understanding. They knew that I was out
there and I had my son out there.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
And how old was Ash at this time?
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oh my god. Ash may have been like five or six, Yes,
he was six. And he was still in the same
because he was dirty. He was still in the same
clothes from the night before when I left him, and
he was like, I'm hungry. So I'm like, not only
did you leave my son in the house, you didn't
feed him, you didn't take him. I mean, you didn't
tell him get in a shower because he could bathe
his self by the in but you didn't you know,
you didn't even try to tell him put on any clothes.
(21:33):
You didn't take him outside the house with you. He
had the balcony door open, flies in the house because
he was probably cold because I kept the air up high,
and you know what I mean. So I was just
I felt as a mom, I dropped the ball because
this is the nigga that I committed myself to, you
know what I'm saying, trying to get over another guy.
He was a rebound that I stayed with too long,
(21:55):
and I was dating selfishly. That was in my that
was my period. I was dating guys for me, not
for he wasn't even for me, but just going off
of what made me feel good, what made me you
know what I mean, not even for my son. And
that is the part that I talk about in the
book as well. Yo, you got to pick somebody that
(22:17):
is not only good for you, that's good for your kid.
That niggag you hand no kids and you want none.
And he didn't even care to.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
She broke my heart when I read when I was
listening to that point, because I know how you are
about your baby, and roma I can't imagine when you
read it.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah, I ain't. Before I read it, I red knew it.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
But I'm gonna tell you how strict my program is.
I don't allow my son to come to me and
tell me what his mother did vice versa blet. Somebody's
physically harming you, physically harming you. So even reading a book,
I've seen it. I felt worry about it, but I
renew it because I asked my son certain things. I
don't ask them everything, but I ask them certain things
(22:55):
like and I don't ask them like, oh, bro, tell
me what the now?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
How was it? What? Over case me?
Speaker 4 (23:00):
My baby is very vocal when you can get it
out of him, but that ain't do nothing. But just
when he told me, I couldn't be mad at his mom.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Tell you why.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Sometimes as parents, we gotta go to work. Yeah, and
you expecting on trusting the school.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
The daycare, the home babysit or aunt, the uncle whoever
to take care of your child right, and he failed
at that.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
So that would be one of the ones where my
son ever got to be around you again. If my
son was to see you, especially when I'm right there,
don't speak to him. And my son is that kid
of mine, he's his father's child, But it was more
so like, nah, I didn't get mad at the mom
she ain't know. It was like she was laying right
there like, oh, yeah, that's fine, you know. And I
(23:54):
actually just seen a clip. I think it was fake.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I don't know everything, so you can't believe nothing.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
And the nigga come sorry, the young man come in
the house and his girlfriend in a bed eating popeyees,
but the son is laying.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Next to her.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
He like, well, hey, when you eating pop pe'es? When
my son eat, he like, he ate rice? And she
say he like, y'all left all at one o'clock. I
got off at ten. She said, yeah, you fed rice.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
But then they make me like cause the little boy
just so happy. Yeah, but it's like that type of shit.
Even me looking at it, I'm like, uncle, doone violence.
I have knocked the whole head off right right.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
And see, when I wrote that part in the book,
I was I was afraid to tell you even in
that moment. And even that's why you didn't know, you
know what I mean. I wouldn't have taken it to
my grave, but I certainly would have if I didn't
write it in a book. I don't know how long
it would have taken me to tell you, But I
didn't because you've always helped me high up in regards
to being a mom. You've always put me on a pedestal.
(24:56):
You've always given me my flowers when it comes to
you know, my parental guidance and and my parental skills
and how I raise your son, you know. And I
just didn't want that on my reputation from you, because child,
somebody do something to put your kids in jeopardy, you
go crazy. So I was very afraid to tell you.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
My stupid Yeah, so like that type of shit, I
ain't crashing out about. It's more so on you leave them,
not even then, I wouldn't crash out about that type
of situation because if you leave them or men you
cut off, you're done. Yeah, that's it, because I know
how I move. These women don't play with my kids.
If you're around my child, you have to treat them
(25:37):
like they're yours. If you don't, you're done. And I
can't even go back and say that's happened. Every woman
that's been around my kid, they love my son, that's right.
And the thing about him is he got away with it.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
And I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
But it's like, all right, son, I understand, Yeah, yeah,
I ain't funny like yo, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
I don't fault you because at the end of the day,
like went to work, Yeah, what's that twenty summer hours
away from me. I couldn't get him.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
You know, and I picked him up and took him
back to work. Yep, and it never it didn't happen again,
and from then on I had I tried.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
To get That's still not a response even at that moment.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
You know, we're talking about our past, but it's still
not on you because at the end of the day
was going to work. That shit could have happened in school,
That shit could have happened in daycare. It could have
happened anywhere. So I don't even want you to beat
yourself up about it. I wish you honestly would have
told me then so we could have even just talked
about it.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
But I'm not.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
I'm not because, like I said, I didn't left him
in situation, not situations, but environment where wasn't too fond
of my cleaning. But I had to go class and
make some money. So but no, mante but you gotta
understand too, that didynamic for whoever in a check.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
O.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Parenting ain't easy, man, it ain't.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I'm listening to you guys.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Parenting ain't easy at all. It's it's I'm gonna say this.
It's what you make it.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah, that's that's the whole.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
The hardest part about it is that child growing up
and going through their different stages, because now you got
to relearn your child. Now you got to adjust to
your child because we already adults like ash right now
he's a teenage Yeah, he's fourteen and boy, so you
gotta he's a boy, so you gotta maneuver, right, you
got now you got now ashen Oh, about to go
(27:36):
to high school. Got a girlfriend. Yeah, then he's talking
to other women, you know, and he and guess what,
listen watch this, and his with you don't tell me,
they tell me. He tell my girl that, and he's
with dad step in. I don't want to break him.
I don't want to break his I don't want to
break him in my girl bond. So it's a lot
(27:56):
of shit. I don't say that, she said too, because
I want him to tell how everything if he wants
to fall. But but these is conversations where I just
know how to lead the conversation into him telling me, well,
one thing, I say, Bro, you're a kid. You can
deal with any woman you want. But everything else is irrelevant,
especially when that great point average dropped.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Well, I'm gonna have to talk. That's because that's me.
You have to tell him he can't cheat on nobody.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Well, how he put it, how he put it to
Maria and Grandma is two different ways. So I don't
know he.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Told his grandmother day cheating on a girl. Don't know what.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
He telling Maria. She's not his girlfriend, she's just his
main one. So that conversation is going to be had.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
All right, look like we need later. It's all good.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I don't condone him doing that. And I'm so serious.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
I'm so I think.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I think, as dad who's been through it and been
in it, it'll get you where you y'all have that conversation.
I think you you know your child best into how
to navigate it.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Jess.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I understand as a mom and as a woman. Right
you Instantly you're like, Nope, sit down, you can't do this,
you can't do that. But I do think as you're
watching young men grow into men. I think it takes
a little bit more of like a nuance, like let's
let's go through this experience and I can like write
from wrong you So you know y'all figured that out
in between the two of y'all. But you can see
y'all dynamic right now. It's like I can almost see
(29:21):
like how your conversation will go with Ash about that
versus Roome's conversation. And it's beautiful to see that he
will have both because a lot of people don't have that,
and I think you're seeing that in real time.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yeah, yeah, he never did.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Okay, but guess what wrong is wrong? And he gonna
cut it out. I love it.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I love that. So thank you. Yup, you can be
the one to teach you that. No problem. I ain't
gonna say nothing negative until later on.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Well, I know we have to wrap the live, but
I want to make sure, jes you tell people where
they can get the book what you have happened in today.
The rest of this read wrong. Thanks for joining us.
This is the first interview that room has been in.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I got the exclusive.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Yeah, but the book is out now, guys, you can
get it online. It's and bookstores, but you can get
it online if you go to my website jesselarisoficial dot
com or Barnes and Nobles, Simon and Schuster, anyway you
get your books Amazon, Amazon, Walmart, Target, It's in stores.
I'm excited. I couldn't be more happier. Thank you Lauren
(30:18):
for doing this, baby girl. I love you so much.
But moderating it just coming to my aid all the
time when I need something. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
And you talked them about the audiobook.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Oh yes, Oh, and I did the audiobook as well.
We got paperback, hardcover and a digital CD. And we
also have the audiobook in case you want to hear it.
If you're always on to move and you don't have
time to sit down and read, or if you can't read,
you can listen, guys, And I can read and I
can write. That's why I wrote the book. I need
y'all to understand it. I just can't read grow fasts,
(30:51):
but I'm reading this book and it is amazing. All right,
all right, thank you so much, Lauren.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
He
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