Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are a don't It's time for donkeyos to day.
Donkey today does not discriminate. I might not have the
song today, but I got the donkey day. Und so
do you ever feel I need to.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Be a dophin man.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
It's a practice club, bitch. Please don't kive to day today.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Well as sharing donkey of to day for Friday, February fourteen,
Valentine's Day goes to all you women who want to
be players.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Coyle Array, I blame you, Okay, yes, I blame you.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
When you came out with that sneaky bop back in
twenty twenty two, Girls is players too. You shifted things
for a whole generation of women. Now, before I begin,
I would like to say that for years I historically
gave the lonely women hell on Valentine's Day. Okay, the
women who didn't have a man on any level, not
a husband, not a fiance, not a boyfriend, not even
a consistent sneaky link. And yes, ladies out there with
(00:51):
a consistent sneaky link, you should expect something from that
consistent sneaky link on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Your best eater should come.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
With an offering on Valentine's Dale. Okay, what does your
vagina have no value?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Are you still mismanaging your pum pum in twenty twenty five?
Shame on you.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I thought you learned how to properly manage your vagina
by now, but I guess not. For the record, if
you're a best eater, are your consistent sneaky link doesn't
get you anything for Valentine's Days?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
In your vagina truly has no value? Okay, that's right.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
You're letting that consistent sneaky link sweat on you. You
letting that man put saliva all over your honeypot and
he can't get you a little something something for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
If that's the case, your vagina not worth the price
of the Brazilian.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
You got yesterday for to day. But let's get back
to these player asked women. Okay, I gave this some thought,
and I have a question. What's worse actually being alone
on Valentine's Day, not having a Valentine, not having someone
to call your own, are being a player ladies, and
having about three on the rosta and having to juggle
all three in the next you know, well, in this
(01:51):
twenty four hours Okay. See, you can be surrounded by
people and still feel alone. And I know you ladies
out there that are players who have about three competing
for your love like this the early two thousands VH
one reality show.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I know y'all lonely. You can't fool me.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
If you wanted something that could have been loved, you'd
have been on Jewice Ski Show. No, you want the
real thing, but guess what, you're not.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Gonna find it because you're juggling, all right.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
You want to be a player out here with three men,
three ready to lie about your period being on the
two of them.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
All right. I see what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
See you're waiting to see who does what on Valentine's Day,
And based on what they do, that's when you decide
who you're gonna spend it. Late late night I was
with Okay, but let me tell you something. My brothers
need you all to hear this. She already knows who
she wants to be with. Okay, she got the whole
itinerary planned out. Now let me tell you what she did,
my brother. She probably told all of y'all that she's
(02:43):
spending the day with her grandmother and mother. Sounding something
like this.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
My mother and my grandmother, niece.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Wo.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Mother and the grandmother and the niece. The nieces diabolical.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
But you know as well as I do that Grandma
and Mama not gonna be out past you know, past
about eight, all right there, and they night clothes head rapped,
calling it at night by nine?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
This, you know, so that player lady you chasing is
just looking to see who is going to be active
after nine pm?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Who's gonna be on her body after nine pm?
Speaker 3 (03:16):
In fact, I've heard these player ladies refer to having
multiple suitors on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I've heard them refer to this activity as a marathon.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Now I'm not gonna say no names, but I was
having a convo with one of those player ladies earlier
this week, and she admitted Valentine's Day was going to
be a marathon. I actually have it. Can we listen,
I arge, you have a few prospects.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
My mother and my grandmother and my niece.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
I'm going to go home and make sure that they
get you know, their their roses and their candies that
do it every year?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
How many guys it?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Guys?
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Is it for what that's possible?
Speaker 5 (03:47):
Potentials for Valentine's, They ignore him, continue on.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
What are you looking for this Valentine's? Oh boy, what
do you hope one of these things? But how does
the person win?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
How does a person win? The winner knows how he's
supposed to win. I don't have to get on Aaron
say it. Okay, it's not. It's not a competition, as
you know, it's it's a marathon.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Now, let me tell you something.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Don't don't let all that player talk confuse you, okay,
because it sounds.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Bigger than what it is.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
See, player, player lady is not really built to be players,
because if you was, you could be honest with all
your hoes and let them know the hont is on. Okay,
you out here telling them that you spending the day
with your mother and grandmother and niece, when the reality
is you go in to brunch with one, okay, at
late lunch with the other, and then you spend the
night with the one you really want to be with.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
And I'm gonna tell you why. It can get sticky when.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
All of them know, okay, where you work, all right,
and all of them pop up at the job at
the same time because they was invited by a diabolical
co worker.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
You ain't invite nobody nowhere.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I know.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
You got scared of you got scare No, I wouldn't
do that. I wouldn't do that. But there was a
traffic jam downstairs and the game. It was a traffic jam.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Guess what. There was a traffic jam of envy. That's
what it was, a traffic jam of jess, tell me flowers.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You ordered these flowers? Yes, you did, because how would
you listen?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
It was downstairs because they called back, you up, back,
the back, called back to.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Back to back.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
One call came in saying, we got flowers for guess
who play other year Lauren l Rosa.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Okay, let me tell you something.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
I was shocked because when they said flowers, I was thinking,
oh wow, God, send flowers. But guess what they called
again and then again, No, three men, the flowers.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Up here for Lauren Lorosa. Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?
Read the cards? You want to read?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Read the cards through the car.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
The car said, I want to know where they're from.
Read the card.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I want you to know that this is Charlemagne.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I can't ready for this.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
That's why I put on a red lip really really good.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You know what, I don't worry about. I took I
never one took picts up the messages on the card already.
How did you get back so fast?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
They've been here for thirty minutes, ma'am? As soon as
they said we got flowers for Laura and la Rossa's.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Do you think we didn't send.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
People downstairs now, Jessica? Robin Moore, just Rob Moore, you're
a retired player. You're a retired player. What do you suggest, Lauren?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
You know? Do or do you want me to read
these messages first? On this card?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Somebody said, here you the message, the clip audio, he
little short, damn okay.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Message one says.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
They're looking like chocolate milk.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Message one says, I don't know what place I will
finish in the marathon, but I hope it's first. Sincerely,
you know who dropping the cloth bomb for that?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Smart man? Okay, glad you didn't leave a name.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Better than remain anonymous when you're sending something to a player.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
On Valentine's Day.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Message number two from these other flowers says, damn, why
it gotta be a race?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
I hope I'm not in second place? Silly never number two,
none of none.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Of the people.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
I know what's the third, one, third and final message?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Oh this is crazy, but leave the competitions for your heart,
the Quincy and Monica.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I'm not racing nobody for nothing.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
This isn't loving track meets see you later, mister first place.
I can tell by these messages. Whose brunch, who's late lunch?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
And who's getting the late night? Okay, ladies, it's just
the light. Is this the life you really want to lead? Ladies? Ladies?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Is the play of life really better than having a
one and only Valentine? Are you gonna end up alone
because these men are not gonna like the fact that
all of them send flowers to your job at the
same damn time, and your messy ass coworker read the messages.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
On the air.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
I don't know, but just remember, whatever the outcome, this
is the life you chose, damn because girls want to
be players. To please give all the lady players on
Valentine's Day the biggest he hulled.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I end up with nothing.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Was denied.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You gonna end up more of Lauren. You're gonna end
up with nothing.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
And then you know he sent these flowers pH.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Balance gonna be all the way off. I'm talking to you.
I'm just talking all the lady players.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
And even if I did get three flowers, it ain't nothing.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I'm not what you men. If you get.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Talking about balance, ain't three people doing this video?
Speaker 5 (08:39):
You see?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
All right there you First of all, let me tell
you you knew that the flowers were here before they
came up.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
No, first of all, they called downstairs when there's a package, Lauren.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
They called twenty five minutes ago.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
No, it wasn't twenty five minutes ago.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
How long ago?
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Wasn't then?
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Also, I I went and told Mac to go get them.
You had.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Al right, Well, thank you for that donkey of the day.
So I am so disappointed.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
What you say.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Reflexes big pimping, big pimping for big big pimping.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Not damn, this is crazy. Alright, this is crazy.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
It's cool because you're doing all this and you ain't
stopping nothing.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Here we go, all right, all right, well, thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
For that donk, and then show me nothing.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Now when we come back.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
I feel bad because I really thought it was you know,
my little whatever whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
What you're looking at a player? Okay, they don't believe
you somebody who more than they can.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
They don't believe you. You need more people. And I'm
bot off nothing more than I can chew. I always
handle mine.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
Well.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
I'm good over these flowers. They stopping nothing, baby, I promise.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
You that's what I.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Message number three says, silly mister first place, see you later.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Huh that message is so sassy. None of my none
of them, I mean not them.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
I get.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
All right, all right, all right, it's club Good.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Morning Donkey Today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney
Michael the Bull.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Lamb is soft.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Don't be a donkey When you need a fighter on
your side. If you're ever injured, go to Michael to
Bull dot com. That's Michael the Bull dot com. And
when you mess with the Bull, you get the horns.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Wake that ass up Earth in the morning. The Breakfast
Club