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October 15, 2024 31 mins

The Breakfast Club Sits Down With Dr. Alfiee To Discuss The Mental Wealth ExpoAlliance, Social Media Influence, Family, Love, And Therapy . Listen For More!

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Morning, everybody, It's d j en Vy, Jess, Hilarry, Charlamagne,
the guy.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
We are the Breakfast Club.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
We have lon La Rosa filling in for Jess, and
we have our sister in the building.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hold on, I just got to do it because it
is coming season.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I just gotta make her feel comfortable.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Ladies and gentlemen, we have doctor House.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Good morning, good morning.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
I'm gonna say good morning, even though you pull the
helmet out, It's all good.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
This is a Handton University helmet.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Thank you, Thank you, Charlamagne.

Speaker 5 (00:30):
Thanks because they be having the Oh.

Speaker 6 (00:32):
You don't know.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
I just want to know about the ribery. But I
don't understand what I gotta do.

Speaker 4 (00:36):
I just want to know what it is, just because
their name changed a couple of times.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
So I'm just you know, now a hu like eighty eight,
there was hi U and.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
It was sorry, it was h. This is messing up
my mental right now. How you feeling.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
I'm great, I'm great, I'm great.

Speaker 7 (00:53):
It's all love.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
HBCUs that's right. H.

Speaker 7 (00:56):
We fresh off the fourth annual Mental Wealth Expo couldn't
do it without doctor Alfre Breeland Noble, doctor Alfrey Breeland
Noble was absolutely positivity, the brains behind the whole operation.
She puts everything together. Okay, all I do is answer
a couple of text messages.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Here and there, tell people about the event. It seemed
online it was amazing, the conversations with great people left
with a lot of great wisdom. So tell people how
it got together and how that she came.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
So first, I'm just gonna say, Tyrees, That's what I'm
gona say. Tyrese like turned it out. But I think
overall it's Charles's vision born out of Charlottmagne I heeart
the Mental Wealth Alliance. I just helped put things together, facilitate. Yeah,
I just helped facilitate. And really, you know, it's our
fourth annual event. It's a day of people coming together.

(01:44):
They get to see celebs and influencers and people with
lived experience talking about black folks mental health and all
of our mental health. And I think, really it takes
a while to pull it together because you got to
coordinate schedules, you got to figure out what are the
topic areas. You know, this year we had some being
a little different and intergenerational mental health panels. We had

(02:04):
people from Gen X and millennials and Gen Z talking
about it, and then we had the men's panel, the
women's mental health panel, you know, healing in the public eye,
and then we ended it all together with mister Jason
Wilson and Tyrese and so it was just it was phenomenal.
You had vendors, booze. There was just so many opportunities
for people to find different ways to tap into their

(02:26):
mental health and healing.

Speaker 7 (02:27):
It was interesting to see even when you talk about
intergenerational panel like Khaleve Foster point guard to Duke University,
he was on that panel.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Who else was on that panel.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
With Morgan Noble who has used to be my daughter
going on a student at Howard University, Mahmoud Kether, He
was just all of them were so powerful and it
was moderated by your buddy Elli Ellia Conney.

Speaker 7 (02:47):
Yeah, that was an interesting conversation because another thing I
noticed this year it was a lot more young people there.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
Yes, yes, it was, and I think, you know, young
people are the ones driving the conversation. You know, we
old heads, I feel like we're kind of following in
their footsteps, but they're the ones who are really pushing us.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
To talk about these things.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
And so with that panel, I also want to shout
out doctor Jude Joseph who was on that panel. It
was wonderful to get the young people's perspective right because
I feel like a lot of times young people feel
like we talk at them, yes, we don't talk with them,
and we don't listen. And so we had an opportunity
yesterday do all of that to really listen, particularly that
intergenerational panel where was a lot of young people on there.

Speaker 5 (03:26):
That's crazy.

Speaker 6 (03:27):
I had a conversation with my grandmother yesterday and I
was like, Mama, why do you always talk at me?
And like why are you always coming from me? Like
why can't we just like talk? And then we started
talking and I realized, like that's her way of showing up.

Speaker 5 (03:39):
She doesn't mean it to be harmful.

Speaker 6 (03:41):
And then I started thinking like, well, maybe this is
why I'm always so defensive because I'm used to that.
I was like, man, it's some, but you know older
people too, It's like you always feel like you don't
want to be disrespectful right when you say certain things.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
So I think is your background Caribbean at all?

Speaker 5 (03:55):
No, not that I know, but I get that all
the time.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
Yeah, well, I think it's like some of it is,
you know, like my dad's a baby boom where my
dad's eighty two shouts out to my dad, and there
is something about that generation. I always tell people they
were like surviving. Yeah, they couldn't thrive, and so to
get to their the big ages they are now and
to be asked to kind of take a step back
and listen. You know, they grew up children are seen

(04:18):
and not heard. Yes, you know what I mean, Like
you don't talk them as you're spoken to, and so
I think it's hard for them to make that transition.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
It's not impossible. My dad has really.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
Made a transition, but you got to have a will
for that, and a lot of times people just don't.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
I don't think they know how to do it.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
And not only that, I also feel like they came
from my dad is eighty two yeah as well, and
they came from an age where they didn't have help.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
They just had to get through it.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know, they had kids, they had families to take
care and you got to think that.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Was heavy into the racism or exactly.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
So you know, my dad still feels a certain way
about certain groups of people, because he's just like, they
didn't pretty much beat me up my whole life, So
how do I turn and say, hey, I like this
person now. But they still had to make sure that
there was food on the table and that things were
taken care of, so it was a lot harder.

Speaker 7 (04:59):
But nobody on the panel was talking about that this week,
and I cannot remember who it was right now, but
they were talking about how oppression leads to deepress.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh that was my food, my move, yes, ok, okay,
he was coming for it.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
The brother's Egyptian and he was like, really, I think
people really resonated with that because you heard the whole
audience be.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Like, oh, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
Because we don't talk about that, And just like you said,
it's like all of that stuff is coming at you constantly.
And I always think about something I heard doctor Julianne
Malveo say years ago that black people are always in
this state of doing mental calculus.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
Is this the battle i'mon fight? Is this the battle
of I'm on fight? Was that racist? Was that not racist?

Speaker 4 (05:34):
And so imagine, just like you said, you're dealing with
all of that, but you still got to go to work.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
You still got to.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
Pay these put food on the table, put food in,
you know, close on your kids back.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
You still have to try to make progress in your career,
but you.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
Are constantly being weighed down with all this stuff, and
you don't have any help. For that generation, nobody was
telling them to go get therapy, and we Gen X
and our generation early, nobody was telling us. But then
people like you got out there and started talking about
it and created this expo so people can know it's okay.
Like Carson always says, it's okay to not be okay,
that's right.

Speaker 7 (06:06):
And you know, Elliot Connie said something this weekend too.
You know, we're only as sick as our secrets. My
dad is seventy something years old. When I started talking
about my experiences with anxiety and depression and being on
my healing journey, that's when he told me that he
was going to therapy two and three times a week,
that he had been on ten to twelve different medications
throughout his life, that he tried to kill himself thirty
plus years ago. So some of us, some people in

(06:29):
our lives, were doing the work. They didn't want to tell.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Nobody that's true.

Speaker 4 (06:33):
I didn't even think about that, But you know, I
think about what tools did they have and how much
better are the tools that we have now, you know
what I mean? Like I think about the number of
times I talked with patients, older patients when I ACTRA
treat patients, and they would come in and say that
they had to kind of hop between therapist because they
would get in and start talking about the racism and
discrimination that they experienced, and people just didn't really.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Know what to do with it.

Speaker 4 (06:53):
It was hard for them to have the conversation with
him because that wasn't their experience. And so, you know,
your dad was fortunate that he had places he could go,
but so many people, even if they wanted to do
the work, they couldn't find anybody. They didn't even know
where to look. And I think people even now still
have a hard time. That's why the expo is so important,
because it gets you on your journey.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Now, would you you know one thing I was thinking
about the expo and I'm online. I see a lot
of people having mental breakdowns online right, And some people
say sometimes it's good because they're able to express their feelings.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
But I always have a problem with that because I always
feel like.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Sometimes that will be used against them when they try
to do something else, you know. So how do you
feel about people using that their social media because some
people just feel like they just need to be free,
they just need to let things go. So what's your
thoughts on that.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
I think we have to be careful. I think you know,
it's not always about intention, it's about impact, right, So
you may get on put all that stuff out there,
it's out there forever. And that's what I try to
remind people. You know, ten years from now, do you
want somebody looking at that twenty years from now? And
so I don't want to get in the space where
I say you shouldn't express your feelings publicly because that

(07:58):
sort of pushes people into the closet, like around stigma.
But at the same time, I think we have to
be mindful of how we share our stories. I think
a little twist on what you said, so let me
answer the question directly. I think it has to be
put in context. If you're comfortable with your story, right
then I and you know the consequences, potential consequences, then
maybe you should share it. But the little twist I

(08:20):
put on it is. We also have to be careful
about the people we love and sharing stuff about them
without their permission.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (08:28):
Because I'm not talking about if somebody has beat you
down and traumatized you. That's a different story. But I'm
talking about if somebody wasn't the kindest to you, or
wasn't the best to you, or didn't treat you as
well as you thought you should be treated, or maybe
they had their own experiences. And what I see a
lot of people do is talk about this is my experience,
but then this is my loved ones experience. I'm like,
did you check with them if it was okay? If

(08:48):
you'd be putting their business, you know, on front street
like that? And so I really think it's I would
like to see. I don't think I've ever said this publicly.
I would like to see people who are going to
be mental health advocates have a little bit of training
on how do you share your story right in a
way that it doesn't become trauma porn. I think a
lot of times with us, as black people and people
of color, people like to hear us tell those stories

(09:11):
because it sort of feeds the narrative, and so I
think we have to be careful to not allow ourselves
to fall into the trap of feeding the narrative by
controlling our stories in a way that allows us to
be comfortable with it being out there over time.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
We had a panel about that this weekend.

Speaker 7 (09:26):
It was a technology panel, and one thing Razma said
on the panel was that he wants to see people.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
He wants to see social.

Speaker 7 (09:33):
Media get back to being used as a tool to
connect humans. Yes, he was like, you know, it's not
connecting people anymore, it's actually dividing us. Like he wants
it to be something that can actually connect us again.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, I think he.

Speaker 4 (09:47):
Makes a good point, And I think I don't know,
you know, I don't get too much into the algorithm
algorithms and that type of thing, but I will say
that what I see is the algorithms seem to uplift
the stuff that's more right.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
So if it's like.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
If somebody's calm and cool and like really on their
healing journey and that's all they talk about, that's not
the stuff that pops up in my feed as much.
It's the stuff where people like I saw this video
yesterday and it was literally just a sister walking out
of her house with this with these nice clothes on.
And they had two different captions. The caption where she
said I got dressed today hardly had any views. Then

(10:22):
there was another captain to say, yeah, they becoming for
me when I look like this when I step out
the house, and it had thousands of views, And I
kind of feel like that's what somewhat what social media does.
So I teach young people you have to learn how
to curate what's in your feed, right, If the stuff
don't make you feel good when you're scrolling, you have
to mute or start unfollowing some of those accounts because
if you follow that stuff, that's all you're gonna get,

(10:44):
and it does tear it the thread of connection, right,
It makes it harder to be connected to people because
you're always doing comparisons.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
But what about right now?

Speaker 7 (10:52):
Because you know, like, do you feel mental health has
been addressed enough during the election cycle? Because people have
to be tuned in, right, Yeah, you gotta be too,
because you want to know what's going on.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
But then a lot of this stuff can stress you
out too. All of this stanses me.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
Yeah, So I don't think we talk enough about the
importance of caring for your mental health in these like
difficult news cycles. So you know, we got multiple wars
going on, conflicts all over the world that we're constantly
bombarded with. We have this contentious election cycle, and it's
not I won't get into the politics, but I don't

(11:25):
feel like it's contentious all the way around. I feel
like it's coming from one direction. And like you said,
people want to be informed. You need to be informed
so you can vote right. You need to know how
to vote. So it's hard to find that balance between
I need to consume this so I'm an informed voter,
but I also can't get overwhelmed by all the horrible vitriol.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
And negative stuff that I see.

Speaker 4 (11:45):
Like I'm just thinking about the Haitian community and just
all that they've been through, so I think about us,
you know, it's other black folks. So again, it's one
of those things where I feel like, if we can
teach people how to go into the news in ways
that don't I don't negatively impact them. So one of
the things I say to people is, don't allow the
news to just be fed to you. You have to

(12:06):
choose how you interact with the news, right, So maybe
you need to read something instead of watching the twenty
four hour news cycle, or you need to pick things
like stay tuned or some of these other social media
agencies where they give you the news all the headlines
in three minutes. That could be enough, right, Or you
get on a website to learn about the candidate's platform.
So you're right, we don't talk enough about how to

(12:27):
help people take care of their mental health and an
election cycle, but it's really important that we do.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
Yeah, I wanted to ask you about love, right, do
you think that love is a lost form in relationships
that's really affecting people's mental health? And what made me
think about that is a young lady I can't remember
her name. She was doing an interview and they asked
about the relationship and she was like, do I look
like the type of girl that will pay fifty to fifty?

(12:53):
Like look at my looks? Right, lnicle And everything was
based on looks. And I feel that hurts people, especially
young people's mental because when they hear things like that.
I think a lot of times I think a woman
might say, well, how come my relationship is not like that?
I'm fishing for that relationship could be a reason that
women or men as well are single because they're looking

(13:13):
for something that is not there or doesn't exist. It's
almost like they're looking for the wrong thing, and I
think that can cause a deeply depression.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Do you see that a lot?

Speaker 3 (13:22):
We're talking to the younger generation at all.

Speaker 4 (13:24):
I see so my daughter's here, Morgan's here, she knew
I was gonna do it. She started grinning. And Morgan
is twenty. And I see some of this through the
conversations that I had with her and like her peer group. Also,
because I running a coma project, I talked with young
people a lot my nonprofit, and I think I don't
think the concept is new. I think what's new is
that we get we're feded constantly so you can see

(13:47):
it much more readily.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
I think that's always been there, right.

Speaker 6 (13:49):
I grew up with people My grandmother literally be like
he got to bring that check home, or you shouldn't
be dating him.

Speaker 5 (13:54):
Like yeah, and that comes from my grandma, Like yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
So's your grandma young Miami. Your grandma did not say you.

Speaker 6 (14:03):
My grandmother from as long as I can remember, would
always be like a man should be bringing your da
tech and my mom used to be like, if you're
dating someone he doesn't have a job, you don't date him,
and he's not allowed in his house.

Speaker 7 (14:14):
By the way, I agree with that because I feel like,
you know, with dog, because men's you know, men be like,
what does the woman bringing to the table. Women are
harder table, Like everything you're doing, you're doing to impress
this woman. You're wearing these nice clothes, youre getting this
jew We had this conversation, you're getting this jewy. You
want to drive a nice car because you want to impress.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
But not to a woman, not to the point where
woman is saying that's the only way you can get
with me.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Correct.

Speaker 4 (14:36):
Yeah, So I think it's I think it depends on
how you look at gender roles. I'm not even gonna
get into all that, but I do think there's something
to be said for the concept of who qualifies for love,
like who deserves love and what love looks like.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Love is not the stuff.

Speaker 4 (14:52):
One of the things I love about Jason Wilson is
he talks about you know, we talked about it this weekend,
is like the constraints that we put ourselves under that
we I don't have to like he calls it with
it like emotional incarceration, I think, he says, and I think,
to your point, and be what some of it is?
This is me, This is not talking about that person.
My perspective is if you are comfortable with who you are,

(15:15):
somebody bringing you stuff is not the thing that's going
to sway you in a relationship. Right. And my mom,
she's deceased, but she used to say, two halves don't
make a hole in a relationship. You want two whole
people to come together to form a whole relationship. And
so I think it's really about do I love myself
enough to know? And I always tell people I'm worthy

(15:35):
exactly as I am, And I don't want to get
like all metaphysical and hokey, but it's true, I'm worthy
as I am. And so I want a partner who
also feels that he, she, or they are worthy as
they are. And if both of us are coming to
the relationship with just a little bit of that, I
think it helps us get around some of that.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
You got to buy me this. I ain't paying on.

Speaker 4 (15:56):
Fifty because what's wrong with paying fifty to fifty? Like
you're getting to know each other and.

Speaker 7 (16:00):
I'm not saying they gotta be money or superficial. I'm
just saying that a woman is going to be giving
herself because that's what she's given right physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally,
she's given you her like you and her body. All
of that type of stuff cuts some grass or something
he takes, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
But is it he giving up himself too? Yes, just
by showing up. Yeah, so you know it's he can
so that if they can both show up.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
I'm not saying it's easy, but remember if in order
for both of them to show up, they both got
to know a little bit about themselves. How many of
us go through life with these blinders on, like blind
to ourselves, like we don't know who we.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Are who self love comes into play perfect that you
said that, So I got a friend right now?

Speaker 5 (16:42):
That on your face it's from his head.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Oh, I got a friend right now. That's dealing with
every time this person talks to somebody, everybody says you
need to work on yourself. And it's not the first time.
It's not that there because she's living it out. Okay,
So now as this, so every time she talks to
a gentleman. The gentleman says you need to work on

(17:05):
yourself before you.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Could come back here.

Speaker 5 (17:06):
Not every single time the guys are saying this.

Speaker 6 (17:10):
I had two guys said faith, But let me tell
you something. One of the guys, his situation is so
messed up. He uses that to not have a real
conversation about where.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
He is for rest deflection.

Speaker 5 (17:23):
So it's like, I hear you, but like we need
to work together.

Speaker 6 (17:28):
I was gonna when you mentioned when you asked, Charla Magne,
isn't the guy showing up to That struck me because
I feel like a lot of my friends and what
I'm realizing about myself is that I wasn't raised as
a woman to really see a man as a person
that has to show up. I was raised as a
like a woman that just a man is there and
he's like this like structure, but like he's not a person,

(17:51):
not even a check, but just like he has to
fight off the bad people, you know what I mean.
But now that my little brother is getting older, it
made me realize, like, and how many times they like
there are some self accountability moments, but how many times
am I not seeing this man as a person yes.
So I wanted to ask you because I see that
you're married, yes, prior to your marriage, and like where

(18:12):
you are now your marriage, where did your mental health
stuff come into play? Where like you went and actually
did the work and you saw the difference.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Girl, to ask the hard question more than good night.

Speaker 5 (18:24):
Learning.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Okay, So I've been married twenty two years. We've been together,
Thank you, thank you. I take that in we've been together.
I'm not gonna do the math since ninety five? Long
time should doctor Richard?

Speaker 1 (18:39):
One years together?

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Thirty one? Thank you? Beautiful?

Speaker 4 (18:44):
So okay, in a nutshell before, I'm just gonna be
very transparent. I was very unsure of myself and made
some mistakes, kissed quite a few frogs, and we put
it like that. And I think my journey changed when
I just got to I kind of got like Fantaylo Hamer.

(19:05):
I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
So I was like, I gotta do something different, and
this is my feel. So some of it started when
I was in grad school. I started seeing stuff, you know,
and just learning things and applying them to myself. And
then I think I got to a point where I
was like I can do better than this, Do you
know what I mean? I don't have to put up
with foolishness. And I would always think ahead and think

(19:25):
I have to be with somebody that when we have children,
I want the children to see a healthy relationship because
that's what I grew up with. I saw a very
healthy relationship between my parents up until the point my
mom died. And so I think it is I had
to make a decision that I wanted it to be different,
and then I started to do the work. So I'm
gonna shout out my psychologist, doctor Maya McNeely. She was

(19:45):
the person who really started to help me. It was
like right after I got married, but even after marriage.
One of the things I wanted to talk about at
the expo yesterday that we didn't get to was this
concept of do we know as people black people how
to receive love?

Speaker 3 (20:00):
That was my struggle.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
It came up during your panel, but to get it.

Speaker 4 (20:05):
Off, Yeah, and so I'm gonna put Jason on blast. Jason,
I want to have that conversation one day publicly. But
so in a nutshell, what I had to do was
recognize that I knew how to be present.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
I knew how to give to people. I didn't know
how to let people give to me.

Speaker 4 (20:18):
Like my daughter will tell you, I still have a
hard time accepting help. So I think it's once I
decided I wanted things to be different for me, then
I had to decide, like, sort of what's the destination.
I wanted to be a help. It sounds really kind
of corny, but I wanted to be a healthier version
of myself because my mom was always drilling into me.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Two holes make a whole relationship.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
Don't come into a relationship as half a person, right,
So that's what it was for me. I had to
figure out how to be a whole person. And the
things that helped me were doctor McNeely, mindfulness, meditation, exercise,
and I'm not big into journaling, but at the time
I would do. I have like multiple journals. So I
hope I'm answering your question, but that's what I did.
I had to work on me.

Speaker 7 (20:58):
I think we should have a round table discussion about,
you know, do we really know how to receive love?

Speaker 1 (21:05):
Because I think you know, I always say.

Speaker 7 (21:07):
Your first, last, and best love is self love, right,
A lot of people don't have that the way they
need to. That's where the impost syndrome and stuff comes
into play. And that's why, like people can give you
a compliment and you feel uncomfortable, like yes, because.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
You don't even see yourself in that way.

Speaker 7 (21:22):
So I think that is worthy of a discussion because
I think a lot of people deal with that more
than more than they may.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
They may hold you to it.

Speaker 4 (21:29):
We gonna do that because it's just important and it
was for me it was revelatory. I recognized at some
point in the last three or four years, do you know, Alfa,
do you know how to be still and let things
come to you and just receive them. So when you said,
like how long we have been together, when you put
the number out there and you say congratulations, I had
to stop myself because oh yeah, whatever, okay, but that had.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
To take it in. And I think it can be
hard to take in.

Speaker 4 (21:54):
I know for me sometimes that stuff can be hard
to take in because it's like I'm afraid it's gonna
go away. So when I take in the good stuff,
how long is that good stuff going to last? But
that's because I'm anxious. So that's the anxious mind.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
Not only that, because I have a hard time with
that as well, like a hard time like when my
wife she has to stop me and tell me something,
and it's almost like I'm like, Okay, that's good, now
let's keep it moving exactly. But I think that's also
because we've been conditioned to provide and protect.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
For so long.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
It almost, I don't want to say it feels like
a sign, a feeling of weakness, but it's almost like,
all right, thank you, But I want to give my
family to love. Now y'all don't love me. I want
to love y'all. And when they love me back, it's
almost like a right. But now how your dad?

Speaker 1 (22:36):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
But it's difficult. But I don't know why it's difficult.
I really don't know why.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
It's also vulnerability. How if you're the provider, if you're
the person doing everything, if you're Jason talks about this,
If you're worth, part of your worth comes from providing,
if you're taught, and it's not just men, right you
think about being.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Are you the oldest child?

Speaker 5 (22:54):
I'm sitting here like the oldest child. Yes, that's how
I feel like me.

Speaker 6 (22:57):
You have to accomplish all the time because it you
just programmed that way, Like if you're not solving a problem,
you think, there's what are you told?

Speaker 4 (23:04):
You told look out for the younger ones, right, So
you can't look out for the youngest if you have
your stuff together, right, And like the other thing you
were saying about, like you don't want to disappoint your elders,
that's the other thing. You're the oldest child, you have
to perform. So I think when you're always in that mode,
it's hard to be vulnerable because you can't be vulnerable
and get your stuff done. At least that's how we feel.

(23:24):
And so we have to.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
Find that balance. Again.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
I'm gonna go back to Jason. You gotta find that
balance between recognizing that your worth is in your presence.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Right.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
I didn't make that up, right, I've heard that. I
think you.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
Ona Bezant was the first person I heard say that.
But that's where your worth is. So if you can
start from my worth is I'm here, We're all everybody
in this room. Our worth is the fact that we
got up and we got here today. That's our worst.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
You don't have to do anything for it.

Speaker 4 (23:49):
I think for me, once I understood that, it made
it a little bit easier to be vulnerable because in
my vulnerability, I'm not losing my power.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yeah, it's your TDJ said.

Speaker 7 (24:00):
Even if you don't think you're worthy, rest in the
fact that God knows your.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
Work, you know. I think that's that's what you know.

Speaker 7 (24:07):
We talk, we have these conversations about mental health. That's
part of it too, right, Like you have to be
spiritually healthy as well. I think that God is a
is a missing factor and a lot of people's lives.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
Yes, they have no faith. You gotta have faith in something.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
I believe you have to have faith in something bigger
than yourself, because otherwise, how do you make sense of
so much of the stuff that happens in the world.

Speaker 3 (24:25):
You I feel like you can't.

Speaker 7 (24:27):
I just feel to have a daughter that's also following
in your footsteps in a lot of ways. But just
I mean, just turned out to be a phenomenal person.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
You know, she's awesome.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
She is that's all we want, right, I got four daughters,
that's all I wanted.

Speaker 4 (24:40):
And I met the oldest. She's she's the bomb. She's
she's on her way. But she got a wonderful mama.
You have an incredible wife. I you're welcome. She's just
a lovely human being. It feels like that I can
receive easily. It feels like I got because it's performed performance.
I help do, help create, right, But she had to
take it and run with it. And so so one

(25:00):
of the things I respect about Morgan so much is
Morgan teaches me stuff all the time. She's like, mamma,
did you eat, Like when we were in the green rooms, like, mamma,
did you drink the water? Drink some water, mommy. So
she's like a caretaker, but she also takes care of herself.
I was so proud of her on that stage yesterday,
went on the intergenerational panel when she talked about, you know,

(25:21):
like you don't have to always be struggling as black people,
we get this narrative that is struggle, struggle, struggle, and
you all all did things so your little brother and
your kids they don't have to struggle, and so why
would you gravitate toward that? But her mentor one of
my friends, mister James Sample, he's awesome. He went to
Howard as well. He taught her, you know, your parents struggled,

(25:44):
so you don't have to. So I don't want you
to struggle.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
And she talked, she relayed that to the group.

Speaker 4 (25:49):
That made me so proud. So it is incredible to
have two kids, my son Myles turn eighteen yesday, have
birthday mouths. To have two kids about to be both
Howard Bison at you, you know, and having them be good, productive, healthy,
emotionally well young people. That's a gift, right And that's
not all me, like you said, that's that's from up.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
There, Morgan. Did you have a choice. Did you have
to go to Howard? Did y'all have to do in mouth,
have to go to out or you had a choice?

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Okay, I did you apply to tell you?

Speaker 4 (26:17):
Okay, See she had a choice, was going to Howard,
But she had a choice.

Speaker 7 (26:25):
Now what's next for the mental wealth ext boat, Cause
I feel like we do this every year. Yeah, I
feel like there's other things we should be doing throughout
the year.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:32):
So one thing we hope we're gonna be able to
do is I don't I'm just praying on it. I'm
hoping it's gonna happen. Do more than one.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
That's my hope.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
And my hope is that we get to honor somebody's
hometown with one of them.

Speaker 3 (26:46):
I'm hoping we'd be able to do that.

Speaker 7 (26:48):
Yeah, we've been talking. I mean, you know, the baby
was there at the Mental Wealth tex Bowl this year.
He wanted to be a part of it. He launched
a baby care and this, yes, and so yeah, we've
been talking about doing something in the Carolinas. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
So yeah, that's right because he's North Carolina. Yeah, we
used to live in North Carolina. So that's one thing.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
I think. The other thing is we're going to continue
to get bigger.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
We have some ideas already about what kind of panels
we want to have, and so we're going to be
reached out. We're gonna start reaching out to people soon
to try to get on people's calendars early. Our talent
to bring it. We're going to be reaching out to
more vendors. I think we could have, hopefully fingers crossed
a few more vendors at the at the venue and
have more opportunities for things like breathwork and yoga and

(27:26):
meditation in some of the breakout rooms and shar are
we just going to continue to follow your vision for
the for the expo.

Speaker 7 (27:32):
Absolutely, And you know one thing that we don't do,
we don't you know, we are a nonprofit organization, you know,
mentalwealth Alianes dot org. We don't we don't, we don't
do enough. We don't tell people that they can donate.

Speaker 4 (27:41):
Yes, and we we really want people to do. It's
so easy. You can follow the link in bio on
the Instagram page for the Mental Wealth Alliance. You can
go to the website. Uh, there are QR codes on it.
It is so easy, and you know, it sounds like begging,
it kind of is. But you have to understand that
money that you donate goes to helping put things together
like the expert where you're given to thousands of people,

(28:04):
and just trying to support everybody's investing in their mental wealth.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
So everybody in free, you know, like like we don't
charge for the mental health.

Speaker 4 (28:11):
That's it and that costs money. So if they invest
in the Mental Wealth Alliance, the Mental Wealth Alliance can
help invest in their mental wealth.

Speaker 5 (28:17):
That's right, and they can't.

Speaker 6 (28:18):
There's the content from the events online and you can
watch the conversations.

Speaker 4 (28:22):
It will be there's a lot on the Instagram page
Mental Wealth Alliance, shar Tyrese, myself, some of the talent.
We've all been posting stuff and eventually it's going to
be on the YouTube page.

Speaker 5 (28:32):
You said, Tyree said it off. What what was the
conversation he was just Well.

Speaker 4 (28:35):
The one thing he did that kind of had me
cackling was he ripped the counter, the timer, he ripped
it out the not he didn't destroy. Yeah, he took
the clock off the floors, like I ain't paying attention
to that clock.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
And he was just very transmit.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Like literally unplugged.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
Yes, he kept looking at him like that clock ain't right.
We need you more time. He was hilarious. But I
think one thing that he did that really moved the
crowd at the end, it was a great way to end,
was he kind of encouraged people by saying, like, if
you have something that you want to do right that
maybe is gonna help the world, you need to go
do it. And he talked about what his thing was
that he does, but he was really kind of pushing

(29:11):
people to go out and contribute. And I'm not gonna
say it like he said it, because you know, family friendly,
but if you're not going to do it, then step
to the side and let somebody else come do it.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (29:23):
Well, whether it was a phrase he had, it was
a I'm the problem, or if you the problem, if
you have a problem, if you have a problem, do
something about it, because he was like, so many people nowadays.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Don't really be having a problem.

Speaker 7 (29:33):
They just either want to be a part of the conversation,
right or they just want to jump in on the
jokes on social media.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
But if you actually have a problem, do something about it.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, So that was it. It was a good way to end.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Well, thank you for joining us this morning.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
That's right. How do they follow you, doctor Affe?

Speaker 3 (29:49):
How they follow me?

Speaker 4 (29:50):
Okay, you can follow me a couple of places. The
main one is Instagram, d R A L F I
E E. Doctor Alfie, I'm everywhere, I'm on LinkedIn, I'm
on on Facebook, uh and my website doctor alfree dot com.

Speaker 7 (30:03):
And follow the work she's doing with the a Coma
Project as well, like you know, like tell them a
little bit about the COMA.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
Okay, so thank you for that quickly.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
The Coma Project is a mental health five on one
C three nonprofit and we are about three things, raising consciousness,
empowering people, and changing the system of mental health for
young people of color. Where we center and amplify young
people of color, and we also talk about the intersections
queer young people of color, young people of.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Color with disabilities.

Speaker 4 (30:30):
We want all of our young people of color to
do better in life. We do research, programming, outreach, We
support the Mental Wealth Alliance with the Expo every year.
We just do all kinds of cool stuff.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
We appreciate you for joining us again. Absolutely, I'm sure
you could see Ada Hampton home coming because I'm sure.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
Oh God, I love my HBCUs.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
I'm just gonna say that, shout out, shout out all
of them, miss all love Hu and Hu all day.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
It's Doctor Alfree Breeling Noblest, the Breakfast Club, come morning,
Wake that ass up in the morning.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
First Club.

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