INTERVIEW: Jess & Rome Talk 'Til Death Do We Parent,' Co-Parenting, Life’s Struggles & Lessons +More

Today on The Breakfast Club, Jess & Rome Talk 'Til Death Do We Parent,' Co-Parenting, Life’s Struggles & Lessons. Listen For More!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't every day click yours up the breakfast club.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
You don't finish for y'all done.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
More thing. Everybody's j n V. Just hilarious, charlamage the guy.
We are the breakfast club. We got a special guest
in the building.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
And first of all, make sure the door is locked.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
And I'm glad that her phone is in here because
she can't use her phone to get in the room.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
So make sure the door is locked. Correct, just hilarious,
can't get in.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
We got our guy Rome room here, who is Justice
Baby's father's dad.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
And you know, just put out her new book this week,
Tell Death Do We Parent?

Speaker 4 (00:34):
It's available everywhere you buy books now, and it talks
about how they got to a healthy place of co
parenting with each other.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Right.

Speaker 4 (00:42):
And I haven't even talked the wrong. I ain't reach
out to room. I wanted to talk to the wrong
face to face wrong.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
What did you think of the book?

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Was your first feeling?

Speaker 2 (00:50):
First? Honest? Honest? First, Fiel, you read the book first chapter.
I feel like some things wasn't explained the correct way.

Speaker 4 (01:01):
We're not supposed to let her in, let her in,
You're supposed to keep her out for a little bit.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Okay, let Rome has the floor.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
You can sit down, Jess, unless you leave.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
You can also leave. Okay, yes, we just asked the
first question.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
All right, it's too late.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
You got nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
It's too late.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
Now you think the book to death we paying you
said first chapter you were saying it was cap.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Honestly, not even cap. I just think after women read it,
they're gonna hate me, and why because of course, you know,
men can't go through that, but when women are going
through like postpartum, those stages and stuff like that, if
you read this the first chapter, it's going to be
like I was a dog, Like I did everything doing

(01:50):
those times when I.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Did it, so you you weren't a dog.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
No, I feel like she fabricated it. Far as putting
it too early, it was leap. It was later than that.
I didn't do any of that doing postpartum. But it
was a dope book, interesting, very transparent to see that
we've grown so much and to share other to share

(02:13):
with other people on you know that cop parents is
not a bad thing. I think that that's that's the
biggest part in the goal that we always talked about,
and that was for years, even when we started co
Parents and therapy. Back in it was COVID, so I
won't to say the twenty twenty one when it was
shut down. Man, the book is.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Yeah, See, that's what I got from the book. That's
why I said, I don't think people will hate you
if they read.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Past the first chapter.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
You know what I mean, because you do get to
the growth and the evolutionary of both of y'all.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
You know what I mean, not just not just you,
both of y'all.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, And but you got some people who ain't gonna
read through the book. That's all right, Right, they're gonna
they're gonna pinpoint and take out parts, and they're gonna
run with a certain narratives, see the same way they
do clips on Instagram or TikTok, whatever the case may be.
They hate you off of a clip and didn't even
let you aborade or explain yourself.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Actually have to hurt your feelings the most, and don't
lie because I know you're ready. More than one time,
what chapter was it?

Speaker 2 (03:12):
None ever really hurt me? Because none never really hurt
me because I'm I'm I own up to what I do.
I ain't never been ashamed of anything. And tell you why,
because I always had a choice. I decided to make
those choices. But what was hot woman to me was
that she's able to talk about it now because a

(03:33):
lot of times she would never open up about it,
and just to share that light on how much I've
grown as a man and as a father, I just was,
you know, a Paul I was? I was really, yeah,
I was. I was just excited, man, I really was excited.

Speaker 5 (03:47):
You could tell she has a lot of love for
you regardless and a lot of always there.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
I'm just excited because if anybody who really know me,
truly and genuly know me, that's my dog.

Speaker 5 (03:58):
How did you feel when you know she she recently
exerts came out of the book and she talked about
not necessarily wanting your first child, but wanted to keep
you more than anything, so to make you happy, she
was willing to do anything for you.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
How did that make you feel?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I felt in a moment, I don't know. I it
was no feeling. We was kids. Looking back reading it
as a father of five, now, I understand. And I
say that because even when I go back to her
and I'd be like, if you're gonna leave me alone,
don't go get another me. It's one of those things where, okay, well,

(04:35):
if you having a child, make sure that you know
that this is gonna be a family. And I never
wanted a lot of kids. I always wanted a family.
But you know, I was emotional, I would say, dumb,
not thinking vulnerable in those moments, even as a kid.
But I think I don't know, I think it just
shaped out to be the wife that she is.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Now.

Speaker 5 (04:54):
You look back at it and say I messed this
family up because she talks about she thought that y'all
had a perfect family. Y'all were taking pictures, and y'all
were doing things as a family and a couple.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
You know, all of a sudden she got a comment that.

Speaker 5 (05:06):
Says, room but here with you. But he played a
house in this other house, and matter of fact, he
got a baby coming. Did you ever look back that
and be like, damn, I f that up.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
I look back sometimes and say I wish i'd have
did things different. I ain't never gonna say I wish
I fucked it up, because who knows. If I wouldn't
have deal what I did, then we still would have
been together. Because it goes both ways, and a lot
of things that I've done. It was out of reactions.

(05:38):
You know, it's three sides of every story, their side,
your side, and the truth. Me. I just wasn't that
heartless to just go out and do these things I
didn't even have access to. So that's why we're gonna dive.
We're gonna dive deeper into those things. But I wouldn't
say I fucked up. I would say I just wish
I'd did things different, just to give just to give

(05:59):
us a chance, because I never even gave us a chance.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
That's a great question and just a great framing of it.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
Like if there were no kid involved, right, if there
was no action, would y'all still choose each other?

Speaker 2 (06:11):
You think at that moment? No, because Ash was the glud.
Ash was the one that kept it around and me,
I'm low tolerance. And Jessica speaks on that, she'll speak
again on it. We spoke on that on the podcast.
When women don't do and it might sound controlling on
it might sound like I'm a narcissism, you know, at

(06:33):
that moment, not now, because I'm a change man. You know,
at that moment, it may sound like I'm being controlling.
But I felt like at the time younger days. If
women wasn't in my if they want in compliance, it
want no benefit to me.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
So just just walk back in the room. I want
to want to expound on the question. I just asked you.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
What was it about just that would make you not
want to be with her? If there was no ask
because he said he wouldn't do what you do.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Wasn't as at that moment. At that like I said,
I'm gonna repeat it, at that moment, we were children,
so it wasn't really it wasn't really nothing to be
with our own, especially after all the things I did.
And I say that to say that at that time.
Of course, you know a lot of men living with
women for conveniency and stuff like that. I didn't need

(07:24):
any of that. I'm living at home with stepmam. So
if it's no child, we'd have went out separate ways
because it was easy to go separate ways with no tie.
It's easy to go separate ways when you're not married, right,
marriage and children is the tie on. Okay, let's see,
because you don't really want to start over, like it's

(07:45):
hard starting over and not even hard, it's just too
much timing. You gotta reliine a person and then you
don't even know if that person gonna be the person
for you, So it takes time.

Speaker 5 (07:53):
Now, you said it was reactional, the fact that you
know you cheated. Was it reactionable because you didn't want
to be in a family at the time, or you
didn't want to.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
Be tied down?

Speaker 5 (08:01):
Or what's her?

Speaker 1 (08:03):
This was?

Speaker 3 (08:03):
You know what was reactional?

Speaker 2 (08:05):
No? Just this ship?

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah, okay, now let's get to her.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Just just just just did things, and it's something. It's
some things I said I would never speak on. I'm
taking that to the grade with me because, yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
That's why you believe that it might not be yours
at one point.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
No, I never I never believe that I've seen him.
He was mind through the song ground at the moment.
At the moment, I never really even believed it. It
was more so I was upset because of the heat
of the moment.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
But you just said that, okay, okay, she said emotional. Yeah,
I told him that might not be his.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
But she and she, she and I read that four
or five times again on the train to day that particular.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, but then I fell asleep. But no, how did
you feelhen? She said that.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Of course she knows the man. You're in the moment.
Oh in mind you you shain't in my face, so
I think it'll win different And she was in my
face shit like that, But I did. I never thought
Ashen wasn't mine. I just think she, of all people
at that moment, even now, know how to get under
my skin. There's only two things that really bothered me,
my children and my mom. It ain't really nothing else

(09:20):
you can really say to me that would really move me.

Speaker 5 (09:22):
Why didn't you fight for the relationship after? You know,
jess was like it's over. You know, you had another
baby on the way. Why didn't you fight for That's
clear that up.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Okay, it was over before I had a baby on
the way, Jessica, that I know.

Speaker 6 (09:37):
Ron. I just was trying to like be with you
and give my family like because that's what I wanted ultimately.
I wanted that family dynamic. I wanted to grow up.
I want to ask to grow up in the house
with me and you together, you know.

Speaker 7 (09:50):
And yeah, it was over.

Speaker 6 (09:52):
I had mentally checked out. You was like moved like
you had moved on and everything, but like you was
still so fish because I couldn't be with nobody. You
didn't want me, but I couldn't be with nobody else.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
No, we cleaned it up because in the book it
makes it seem like I had a baby on you.

Speaker 8 (10:10):
Well you were dealing with and it's three number.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Two and it's fourteen is eleven? Yeah, when did we split?

Speaker 8 (10:20):
When he was like about, yeah we split?

Speaker 7 (10:23):
We split once and yeah yeah, yeah, but I took
you back.

Speaker 8 (10:26):
I got back with you. Remember when I met yo? Correct,
you know I can't say his real name, but when
I met you was because I was about to say
his real name.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
Why did you fight for it? Why didn't you fight
for that family back?

Speaker 5 (10:42):
If that's what you wanted, If that's what Ashton meant
to you, why wouldn't you say you know what, I'm
gonna cut the bs out and I'm gonna fight for
my friend.

Speaker 8 (10:49):
Just music, Oh, because the music.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
I used music a lot. It's a therapy for me.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
It was influence spot.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah, and it's one it's one person.

Speaker 7 (11:01):
No, no you talking about Webby no Boothy? Oh yeah,
that's yeah, okay.

Speaker 8 (11:11):
One thing he said and you can you can curse
and say it. One thing he said was.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
A nigga can do a thousand and one things once
the girl that one person, we can't take it. M
so at that moment, and then even at that time,
like you know, still it's pear of pressure people around you.
Oh and then at that time I really cared about
what my friends start, so it was BC and then
it was like a manhood and you know, like my
father ain't really say too much negative, but you know,

(11:40):
he said the things he said. But you know, I
think I was more so heartbroken because of you know,
certain things that she did do with the manual, not
even just in mine. You know, bro, you might you
might as well if I see you texting five or
six men, you might as well and fucked all because

(12:01):
in my mind you did you had when I'm no, no,
I'm not making a scene like that. What I'm making
this scene like is if you even if I see
you texting him talking to over, you might, as on
his mind, my mind, you.

Speaker 8 (12:19):
Have sex with them.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yeah, that's a double standing because you was doing it
even if.

Speaker 7 (12:24):
Yeah, even if you didn't have sex with him, like
have sex.

Speaker 6 (12:27):
Even if I'm just talking to somebody and he go
on my phone and he said, oh he looking over,
and I'm texting him because you know, I was going
pretty hard, you know what I mean. But like he
would look over and see he already just assumed, like,
oh yeah, if you got balls enough to sit right
here and text a nigga right in front of.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Me, you're sleeping with him.

Speaker 6 (12:43):
And it's like Rome overthinks, like he creates these scenarios
in his mind, and he overthinks, and he thinks himself
out of the relationships.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
He's not wrong for that, even though we shouldn't.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
He's not right.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
But when I'm right, I'm right. When I'm wrong, I
could have been right. But when I'm right, I was wrong,
but I wasn't wrong.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Okay, Okay, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Yeah, but no, you know you you did some things
to me too, Yeah I believe.

Speaker 7 (13:10):
Okay, let's all right, that's fine, and I'll.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
Take you did a lot of things in me. I
done pulled up on Dressica a couple of times in
her neighborhood. And then that's one thing too. I don't
like you ignore my phone calls. Control don't ignore my
phone calls, and then don't hang up on me when
I'm trying to explain, because you're not let me get

(13:33):
my point across, because then that means you don't care
about how I feel. And that's one thing about the society.
Nobody cares about how men actually feel. And then when
men try to open up, and I looked at it,
and it's on the same track that Michael Beasley and
Shannon Shock, I felt a lot of things Michael Beezy
said when a man tried to open up, your laugh

(13:55):
at me until it's too late. I'm just he was
able to get the help he needed to to be
able to tell his story. But it's a lot of
other men who are shamed to do it. But this book,
and that ties everything to this book. This book is
a great book because his father's out there. It's hopeless
because you got a lot of types of did beats.

(14:17):
You got did beats who they don't do something to
baby mother, say that did beat. Yeah, dibbies who just
actually don't give a fuck. You got dibbies who said, oh,
don't get the don't don't have that child, and then
you still have the child. It's so many different ones.
But for the men who actually want to be in
their father's life and they kids. I'm sorry for the

(14:37):
men who actually want to be in their kids life.
I just don't understand why women don't want to allow.

Speaker 4 (14:41):
That that they didn't stay there for a second because
I asked m I said, wrong, if you had a
title for your book, what would be called?

Speaker 1 (14:48):
You had a very interesting title. The second one.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
I got to tell you something with the second one.
Let the father be your father, not when it's convenient
for you.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
That's that's not when it's convenient for you, is what
got me. Do you feel like she only wanted you
to be a father when it was convenient for her?

Speaker 2 (15:03):
No?

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Okay, not no.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Not with her, I got a lot of of course
you knew I got a line. But no, with me
and Jessica, it was never about I don't understand that.
This was before the dis That's why it's most genuine,
because she didn't keep a child because of a status
or some some money or whatever the case man be.
We just was honestly thought we was in love. And
then when I grew up, I didn't grow up on
spend your Hot blocks and that type of music. I

(15:27):
grew up on Bow Wow and Little Romeo and Sammy,
so like it was, it was love music, and you
just I always just wanted those fairy tales. Like my
favorite show growing up was Sweet Life in Zach and
Cody because of the family dynamic. So it's like for
a young man or want that, and then you see
my life didn't get that. That's one of the things

(15:48):
I'd be like, damn. I don't say I fucked up,
but I'd be like, well, wow, why I couldn't get
those cards? And I used to always a lot of
my friends. I used to be jealous of my friends
growing up. They had a mom and dad and I didn't.
And I told him, bro, like I don't like you.
I love you, but I don't like you. My friends
because they had they had what I wanted. And then

(16:11):
I just used to see how they just never appreciated they.

Speaker 5 (16:13):
Mom was a co parenting way that your co parent now?
Was that always there or had to get there? Like
at first was just not letting you see your son
or you didn't want to see your How did it
originally start?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
So it was always co parenting. It's just I was
co parenting with my mother. With my mother, Yeah, with
Mama arriving.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
Just didn't want to see you.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
Because Jess was Ess.

Speaker 8 (16:36):
I didn't want to see you.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Why did she had to see me because she was
living at the daycare, so she was going to see me.
But it's never been a point where I couldn't see
my son or he's keeping away from me because she
she has that family dynamic. Who this ain't that?

Speaker 5 (16:52):
And why just why didn't you? Because most people would
have been like, he did me dirty, he cheated on me,
he did all these things.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
I'm gonna use my son to hurt him. A lot
of people do that.

Speaker 5 (17:01):
We see that a lot of relationships. Why wasn't your
mind for maps heard as you couldn't?

Speaker 8 (17:06):
I just yeah, I just couldn't do it.

Speaker 6 (17:08):
I gave Rome a lot of grace because you know
I was doing my my is too, But you know
it's not about who, well, actually it was, it was
about who started it.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
But whatever.

Speaker 6 (17:18):
But once we started going back and forth trying to
hurt each other and trying to make each other feel
the pain that each one of us felt, I got
I got tired of that, and once I wanted to
sit down with Rome and just put everything on the table, like, yo,
are you you that'st admit everything things that I did
that I was lying to him about he admitted things
to me, Well, he explained things to me, because that's

(17:41):
the thing Rome never really told me. Every day I
will find out and I'm going I'm coming to him, like, yo,
this is what happened.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
You know.

Speaker 8 (17:48):
Ai Ai was not we It wasn't.

Speaker 6 (17:50):
Even that our favorite tips back then. So no, but
I was able to give him a lot of grace.
And then also like Kitch trauma, he went through a
lot when he was younger, and I realize them, like, yo,
I'm a lot more mature to see that. And and
my mother always instilled that in me. Give a person grace.
Everybody comes from different walks of life. You don't know

(18:11):
what he's gone through, and it's hard to operate in
this world without a mother, you know, and then with
an absent father, you know, father who you see, but
he not really there is no really is no real bond.
So I felt the need to be more of a
friend and a confidante, you know, because I think I
was like the only one that you can open up

(18:31):
to about a lot of things that happened in your childhood,
A lot of things that you know you didn't that
you that you didn't get as a kid.

Speaker 8 (18:38):
After your mom's passing.

Speaker 5 (18:41):
So I think that's what it was, because you talk
about being vulnerable.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Did she ever use that?

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Oh, that's what I was going to say next. But
the big umbrella of everything she's saying a mother because
she wouldn't allow it. You have women, you have men,
you have human beings itself who when shit don't go
their way, they got enablers around them telling them that

(19:06):
that's right, that's right. When her mother, I loved her
mother so much in minds me, her mother used to
go through hell hargh water because I was always rebellious,
and then as I got a certain age, I'm already
defensive because of what my dad did. So you can't
tell me, but I had to take myself step back.
She's not trying to hurt you. Wrong, h and yeah

(19:27):
she she just you wrong, wrong, you're wrong. So it
wasn't no, oh that's my daughter. I'm gonna take her
side right because it was. It was honestly like I
think because the cole parenting itself, it got it was.
It wasn't bad, but it got great after a while.
It didn't just happened overnight. It really started happening when
I took my feelings out of it, like I stayed

(19:50):
in the past, like when that, when that that narrative, Oh,
I don't want this nigga around my kid. I don't
want this, I don't want that. I I allowed it
to happen, though, because when I decided to hurt that
woman or not want to be with that woman, that
opens up the door so she can have whoever the
she want to have around that child.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
So the logical part that I went with was, okay,
just longest ain't trying to hurt my kid. I'm okay,
and I respect my child mom enough and I trust
them enough and even now all of them to not
allow that to happen.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
I want, I want to ask you something wrong because
you said what you wanted growing up with the two
parent household. Yeah, And a lot of people would say,
how can somebody with that mindset end up with five
baby mothers because it's impossible to give those kids what
you wanted, correct, So why would you create the same.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Type of So let me let me elaborate and piggyback.
So I never really that two point household now is new.
I never really cared for a two point household. I
just wanted my mother got you h So mind you,
I was fine with going with my dad on the weekends,
going back to my mother until that last weekend and

(21:01):
get to go back to my mom. So the two
parent household dynamic come from, like I said, shows and
stuff like that, and reality and the stigma that society
put on you. Oh it's supposed to be like this
when two point household produced some of the most fucked
upiest people in the world.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
But you are not a fucked up person.

Speaker 4 (21:20):
Now your brother with high emotional intelligence. So clearly I
know you wanted to be better than your Yeah, correct.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
And like I said, I may, I may, I may.
I made decisions. A lot of decisions I made was
out of vulnerability. A lot of decisions I made was
out of hurt, you know. And I'm not ashamed to
say that. People like, oh, oh, whatever, that's me.

Speaker 6 (21:40):
Can I ask you and you just tell me if
you agree that. I feel like you were looking for
maybe your mom and these women. And that's why, you know,
because you had lost at a very young age, and
that nurturing and that you know, all that nurturing and
affection stopped at a very early age, and you went
from that household. That's all you knew, love and positivity

(22:04):
and just you know, all of that to a very
different type of household. You know, it wasn't much affection,
It wasn't nurturing. And I feel like that actually shaped
how you looking women in my relationships. Yeah, like it
affected your love life in a way.

Speaker 8 (22:20):
Do you agree with that.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
We're going to be very transparent. I never looked in
my I never looked for women, and I never looked
for my mother and women. I did look for the
love and affection, right, Why I never looked in I
never looked for my mother and women because I'm put
on tape. My mother wasn't a saint mother di shit

(22:43):
like you know, like, but who she was to you,
who she was to me was she was great. But
it was like once she left, it was just that
that affection that loved, that holding a person. Because I
used to hold my mother every night. She put me
out every night I used to hold her. It really
didn't affect me until I got older and started dealing
with women. Because why I'm going through school, I'm always busy.

(23:06):
Maybe that's why it didn't affect me. I'm grades baseball, basketball.
I really had no downtown to really think about it.
I know my mom and at the like probably like thirteen,
I'm you know, I'm washing cars. That's what That's what
my mother love cause, so that's where I get that from.
So it's like I don't think that it. I never
really said, oh I want you my mother and this
woman because my mother ain't know how to cook cleaned up.

Speaker 5 (23:29):
But you know you have five baby moms, right and
of course just had relationships before she recently recently got married.
How did you co parent in that situation?

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Right?

Speaker 5 (23:40):
Because asking to be at his house, he.

Speaker 3 (23:43):
Has women there, you know, or you know, just might
have a guy.

Speaker 5 (23:47):
Like how did y'all it's crazy that you.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Just cut that man off talking about his mom.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
No, it's it's gonna come back now. So I can't
see where you're going at go ahead forget.

Speaker 5 (23:55):
So I'm asking, so how did you deal with that?
Because that's what you've seen with your life?

Speaker 2 (24:00):
So how did I see with my son there with
her and her man?

Speaker 1 (24:04):
Like, how do we co parent?

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Like?

Speaker 1 (24:05):
How did you you know, like we're speaking.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
On this speaking on the husband now before the husband
before diferent my relationships.

Speaker 6 (24:15):
And ashe will be home with me. But then he come, Yeah, like,
how was the co parents and relationship between you.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
And I when that was going on schedule?

Speaker 8 (24:24):
You had girlfriends and I ain't gonna hold you.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
That took my feelings out of it. A couple of
men that one two, one and a half you literally
only liked one and a half. I ain't like the
our one, but you didn't like him first I didn't,
but we're going, yeah, yeah, one and a half because
what half be half? I adn't really cared for him,

(24:47):
but he loved her, so he loved my he loved
my son. So like I said, it's times where Rome
just taking taken to the house when they them two
was you know, in one household and I would drop
them off problems or none of that. So that that
was it. That was the only transaction for us that
really wasn't us how by whatever, nothing. I ain't really
care for him because of what he was saying to

(25:09):
the other women who was coming to me. If that
makes sense, I'm still I'm confused.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
Break it down a little bit.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Okay, So he wasn't a sane in this that in
that relationship neither, okay, And we then came across a
couple of the same women. I ain't disclosing anything.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
But did you ever tell just that, like, it's not my.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Business she figured wrong, was not your business.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
It's not what your son did.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
That's my sun. But they wasn't in the household. He
was doing what he did on his free time when
he was doing How I know that because my son
was with me majority of the time when he's doing.

Speaker 8 (25:42):
It on his free time. Well, cheater was supported cheater anyway.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
I'm not supporting the cheater. You chose him, and that's
on you.

Speaker 8 (25:49):
I didn't know he was cheating.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
Well I didn't either. I didn't either, but it was
no problem after the real.

Speaker 6 (26:00):
Quick Yeah, you said there was no problem to answer
this question, but he was saying something earlier when I
came in and he was asking you, did I did
I ever use like anything against you, like as far
as your mind.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
No, No, So I.

Speaker 8 (26:16):
Have not done that.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
It was more comfortable with talking to her about it
because she never used it against me. Got you, But
of course you know, I deal with that every day,
Like I think. The worst that my child mom has
said to me was kill yourself and lay next to
your mother.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Wow.

Speaker 8 (26:32):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
That's that's that's beyond ports.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
But then call me and ask me for a hot
shot the next day. Mm hmmm, and I did it?

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Mmm? Have you have you ever? Have you ever gone to?

Speaker 4 (26:44):
Like a therapist is somebody to talk about, like the
clear mother wound that you have, you know, the mother.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
I talked to the actually was consistent until I felt
like I ain't never needed no more, But it was consistent.
The therapist that you gave to me a couple of
years ago, I was using him and it just was
over the phone. I don't really need to face to face.
It just be just listening. You listen to me and
then you give me everything you can to just help me.

(27:12):
Like so that that therapist. Yet, So that's why I
always even it be Sometimes I might text you like
piece of Blessings can be cause I got that from
you to Peace and Blessing spot. But yeah I did.

Speaker 8 (27:23):
And why do you feel like you can't go in person?

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Ain't I ain't saying I can't. I just I ain't
saying I can't. I just saying that it probably is.
But it's just like I don't feel like I would
need to to go in person, like even now we're
in the world now where everything is virtual and a
lot of things are virtual and stuff like that.

Speaker 6 (27:42):
So but sometimes that's not the best because there's that
that human connection. You can't get that through a screen
all the time, you know what I mean. The atmosphere
is different than an actual therapist's office now if you
need to, if you want a roll on the go
all the time. I do understand that, but I think
that you would truly benefit from person that whole atmosphere,

(28:02):
like a different atmosphere, a different environment where you can
feel safe enough to open up about things because you
probably things that you probably haven't even confronted.

Speaker 8 (28:10):
You know, you never know, like the trauma a lot.

Speaker 6 (28:14):
It could be other traumas that stemmed from you know,
before Keisha, before your mind passed. You know, it could
be things that you didn't deal with or you know,
you don't know about until it's activated. So the trauma
is like activating you gotta face it, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 4 (28:28):
I never had the language to explain you and just
his energy, but I feel like I have it now.
Like when I see just with you, she's literally trying
to heal that mother womb, not by trying to be
your mother in anyway. But I I the way she
talks to you, the concerns she has for you. I'm
sure that the deep conversations y'all have. I constantly see

(28:50):
her trying to put neo's boring and you know all
of the things that help treat that mother womb that
exists in you. And it makes sense when you're telling
me that you have had other baby mothers with poor
so they use.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
It against you.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah, she just keep me mellow. If y'all knowiced I'm
more relaxed. I'm always on the uppity because I'm always
in defense mode. Yeah, it's like I'm always trying to
prove myself and that's why a lot of times you
stress yourself out.

Speaker 5 (29:18):
But how did it affect you when she got married?

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Right?

Speaker 5 (29:21):
Because they said there was boundaries. And the reason I
asked is if I'm marrying somebody, I know y'all might
have a relationship, and I know y'all might be tight,
but you kind of got to find your own personally
on because that's mine, you know what I mean, That's
that's my wife, now, you know what I mean. But
y'all was so tight for so long how did those
new boundaries affect co parenting and your relationship?

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, because somebody had to build the wall.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
It ain't affect nothing. Guess what it wasn't It wasn't
the wall built a man. So when she leap and
in mind I need to step by step. But and
it wasn't even o wrong. I want you to meet Chris.
It's just a genuine and it wasn't no wall, my man,

(30:07):
I always have respect. How did I deal with uh
not being around them more or talking to.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Its best friend y'all?

Speaker 2 (30:17):
But I never thought about that because you're selfish if
you don't want your best friend or you're the person
that you love to be happy. So if this is
what makes her happy, Okay, I got one child mom
that's happy.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
One found the Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Thank you.

Speaker 8 (30:36):
This is what you used to say in the future.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
I'm like, you know you wanted somebody. You wanted her
to get somebody better.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I want her to get a Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Let me ask you. That's a good that's a good segue,
and it is.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
What's one thing just I don't want to say exposed,
but said about you in the book that made you say, Damn,
I didn't realize I.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Was that toxic.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
Mhm mm hmmmm.

Speaker 8 (31:05):
Definitely think about it.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
The baby, my son first birthday.

Speaker 7 (31:14):
M hmm.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
That's one but a lot of them. When she stated
that sounds like I did it. I don't remember that
part though, but she said I bought the girl in
the birthday party.

Speaker 8 (31:28):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
How friends made the girl leave or whatever the case
may be.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
You brought your new chick to yourself, just asked him.
I want to be I want to be clear, explaining.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
All that, explained all that she was like. At that time,
toxic wasn't thrown around, so I ain't looking at it
as toxic now. It's always just got my way. So

(32:00):
that son ship. If you're saying how that made me feel,
I said I. And the crazy part is I didn't
even tell a DJ to play that song. I think
my brother somebody what song was played it was? I

(32:21):
think it was Yeah, But I'm telling you you, oh yeah, No,
I don't think I think my brother not time because
I came late on purpose because I wanted to make
a drank grand interest. Yeah at this time, action one
only twenty. I'll just imagine I've been so the song
was a homie was wrong with you? That bitch don't
belong to you?

Speaker 8 (32:41):
Yes, see him five or see him four.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
One of them four m three or see him four.
She threw my shot out the window. I mean, I
think I told you that before she did the window.

Speaker 7 (32:50):
But you walk in the party. But wait, we were
supposed to sugar together, all.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
White with.

Speaker 2 (32:58):
Yeah, she forgot to leave out the book that she
inserted herself and me and my son pictures.

Speaker 8 (33:05):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (33:06):
When we took baby pictures me and him, I inserted myself. Yeah,
you weren't supposed to be with us.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Damn.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
Wow. That's how I knew that it wasn't it was
over because when I schedule for them pictures, Uh yeah,
me and I wasn't together.

Speaker 6 (33:22):
I was trying to force the relationship wrong. I really
really wanted to give my give our son that family dynamic.
Like I tell the truth about it, I take accountability,
like I was really trying to.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
You don't want to really hurt me.

Speaker 6 (33:37):
You didn't want to really hurt because he goes because
he don't want to admit like you're talking about. Hell, remember,
and it didn't happen like that shorty came to listen
and this was the time when love and hip hop
was hot.

Speaker 8 (33:47):
He thought he was Stevie J.

Speaker 7 (33:48):
He thought he had walked in with Joscelyn HERNANDEZK.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
And I never walk in with a woman who was illiterate,
liked because that is my friend. Let me take that back.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
That's my girl, and let me take that back.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
That's not what I mean. Go ahead, Oh my god.

Speaker 8 (34:04):
So yeah, he walks in with the girl.

Speaker 6 (34:07):
You can obviously see she don't really know she know
what she at but she didn't really like understand until
she got in there, like.

Speaker 8 (34:15):
Oh, English, this is his kid whatever, this is this,
this is his.

Speaker 6 (34:21):
Kid's first birthday party. And everybody's looking at me like
I'm not supposed to be here. He told her that
I was gonna that we were broken up and I
was gonna have my boyfriend there.

Speaker 8 (34:30):
You was just my boyfriend.

Speaker 6 (34:31):
Stupid he Why would you tell her that? And he
come in there, he got a chaise on, he dressed
just like our son or whatever. He walks off, leave
her right there in the middle of the party. So
now me and my friends were my friends because I'm
you know, I'm not about to walk up to a
fighter like, my friends are like, yo, let's get this
bitch out of here.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
You know.

Speaker 6 (34:50):
Instantly my father grabbed me like, come on, come on,
let let me talk to you. Let me talk to you,
and he had told my father, Yo, mister Kevin, she
told me that Ashton wasn't mine. So so my father
understood like, wow, okay, you don't do this, but damn
I do get it. I don't know why she would
tell you that. So it was that was his reaction
to me saying that. But it was like, Yo, you

(35:10):
can't look at this little boy and say that he's
not yours. Obviously, I was trying to press the button.
I shouldn't upset it. I apologize for it, and I
encourage women to never do that, you know what I mean.
But I encourage men to never show up to a
baby shower or a first birthday party with a whole
nother girl unless you with that girl and you're not

(35:30):
with your baby.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
Because you heard.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
How can you control how somebody reacted you that you
are so right?

Speaker 3 (35:37):
You could have got that girl's ass was like.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
English, she was bad too.

Speaker 8 (35:44):
You can tell she didn't even know what was going on.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
You paid for the coming. That was your girl.

Speaker 8 (35:48):
Man, That wasn't this girl?

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Ain't you saying actter?

Speaker 1 (35:50):
That why she didn't speak English? Still, so both of
y'all got a thing for Latino.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Oh my god.

Speaker 7 (35:59):
Where I don't know where he got her from whatever,
But like that was a big statement.

Speaker 8 (36:03):
That was a big statement on his end, you know.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
And I've always been a troll, right because yeah, I
always been a troll because it was going to hurt
her more if I did it publicly like that, opposed
to her telling me what my son solidly because you
told me solently, but it hurt me big, so you okay,

(36:31):
I set that up too.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
I said it.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
I said it a real nice home run. But looking back,
I wish I wouldn't have did it, because I didn't.
I never meant to humiliate her. But this is the
thing that I tell people all the time. It's so
easy to co parent when you keep your family and
your friends out of shit. I've never had that problem
on my end. My people are not saying I control them.

(36:56):
My people in compliance, you overstep that boundary, you're cut off.
I ain't married, but that's how I carry things. Because
we said last time, when I was here. You can
say what you want about this person, I'm still gonna
be with them.

Speaker 8 (37:10):
M hmm.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Sometimes that messes up relationships because you can still love
this person and be with this person, but yet you
don't want to be around this person family because you
know that they don't like you. I can't sit and
fake I love you. If I don't want to be
ring your family, I'm not going. So that means no functions.
I don't want them at none of l functions. So
where does that leave us? You're gonna have to make
a decision what you had to choose to. Don't choose me.

Speaker 6 (37:32):
But where is the compromise though, because if you love
that person, then you with you love that person.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
The compromising is I'm compromising for you, but that family
don't want that. Family ain't compromising. They're not compromising for
the person that they love.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
But this not it is.

Speaker 7 (37:46):
But guess what the ultimate You will go to this
wedding or you will go to this cookout.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
You know, Oh, I feel like that's fake, and that's fake.
You can't relate because we never had that well I've
never been in that situation either.

Speaker 8 (38:01):
No, we haven't.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
We haven't. But I've been in situation like that, but
so you can't relate to me because me and you
haven't been in that relationship, that that type of environment,
because it was always more of a a family narrative.
So even when we was beefing in those times, like
we still was a family. Like I didn't really just
push you to the curve because we still was a family.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
I think a lot of this is gonna get conflated
when people are watching it only because a.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Lot of this ain't you in jest? Yeah, you and
your other correct baby mother?

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Correct. And it's it's the co parting part about that
is it's times that I don't even want to talk.
Then I tell how to go talk to him the
other baby mamas, what right, man, just gonna help me
get a child's port? I went back on, but get
our child support. I tell her what I tell her.
I say, I said, witch, fuck you, I don't want
to talk to you, and walked off. If she go

(38:55):
no wrong, no wrong, no wrong, I'm like, I don't
want to talk to her, she don't want to talk.
It's okay, let it go, m But you know it
was you know, it's a beneficial right, And I think, man,
if more men had child mom like this one, I
think the world will be better because when you're not
the gathers and that's the biggest problem. When you're not together,
everybody want to be just controlling or better. Why if

(39:18):
you really loved that child, you would the best interest.
The best interest is not just for the father to
just pay for shit. The best interest is for the
father to be around the child. Allowed that man to
love his kid, allow that man to take kid his kid.
One of the biggest things I don't like today is
people calling dad's weekend dads just come. Mother helped me
understand that. Okay, if the child live with his mom
money through Friday and you working money through Friday and

(39:40):
you get them on Saturday and Sunday, which my mom
did that with me and my dad, that's your time
your dad, like this weekend dad is during the week
that okay, you want then then here's a contradiction here,
weekend dad, but yet you want full custody, or you
want the full time, or you want the benefits of
being a full time mom. Okay, so if you want
you want to benefits of being a full time an,

(40:01):
I will take on the benefits of being a full
time It just makes no sense to me, like, how, oh,
I'll never get my kid up, But yet you complain
about the dad getting a child Friday through Sunday or Monday.
You're picking a child. You're picking a child up from
school or daycare Friday, and if you want to be
technically honest, the dad spend more time with the child

(40:24):
on Saturday and Sunday because the child's are in school,
going a week with daycare. And by time you get
off working and getting from school daycare, what you do
you getting ready for the next day where the dad's
on a Friday night, we can have fun. They gonna
be on the phone all night, be on an iPad,
go to sleep. Whenever Saturday we go to Themorrow, we
go shop, we go wherever you want. Sunday we probably
relax or not, or we do what we do. Then

(40:44):
Monday is back to business. So it's like, I just
don't don't I don't get all of that. Man, It's
just so much. Man, I feel like the dad is
just father. We go through hell and huh water.

Speaker 4 (40:55):
Jess, what did you mean when you said and I
saw you say this on tearing in of course I
read in the book when you talk about having a
deep program and reprogram as after spending the weekends.

Speaker 6 (41:04):
Yeah, so when he goes to Rome my house, because
we had we had Yeah, we had two different co
parenting vibes, right, two different co parents and styles.

Speaker 8 (41:14):
I am the Rome is the lenient parent. I'm the
I'm strict, I have rules, I have structure.

Speaker 6 (41:22):
I'm not saying there's no structure, but there is definitely
a lot more rules and discipline.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
In my house on the week.

Speaker 8 (41:36):
On the weekend.

Speaker 6 (41:36):
Yeah, so you know, he kind of lets, you know,
ask just be and just do whatever he wants to.
Let him stay up all night, you know, just talk
on the phone or night. He's on the internet all day.

Speaker 8 (41:47):
I don't really like that.

Speaker 6 (41:48):
So when he comes back home with me, he's on
the phone, he's nonchalant, he's I'm asking him to do something.
I gotta tell him more than once, and I'm like, Okay,
you were just there for three days.

Speaker 7 (41:59):
You gotta get it together.

Speaker 6 (42:00):
Because the things that you do at Dad's house you
can't do here, you know what I mean, Like when
when you get up and get out of got when
you get up and get out of your bed.

Speaker 8 (42:09):
And make it up.

Speaker 6 (42:10):
You got your own bathroom, got your own balcon You've
got a big space in this house.

Speaker 8 (42:13):
You need to clean it up, you know what I mean?
Like I just make him do certain things.

Speaker 6 (42:19):
And that's the the dprogramming, reprogram having to remind him
where he.

Speaker 8 (42:23):
At in which house he in.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
I just think that's just mom and dad, right, and
it's good.

Speaker 8 (42:28):
It's the house is going to.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
Do a child. A child is going to do what
they do with their mom, and they gonna do what
they do with their dad. But father's not not you, Jessica.
So I'm speaking general when I'm saying this, but as
father's we always you go with your mom. Need to
do this, respect your marvel. I tell my son Christian
had to take that trash out. You are too in mind.

(42:52):
You and I don't even have to text hell when
it comes to him and him to deprogram to brief
about what Ashley are the best things of him. If
we need mom and she coming other than that, she
stay ass all out business and that's that. But like
it's it's it's never right man. The weekend is fun. Man,
Like I understand as a child, man you're going to

(43:13):
school my son got. My son got a full point two.
That's hard maintain in the life. He living full point two,
like my son has never made honorall. It's principal's honorable, principal's.

Speaker 8 (43:25):
List, the principal's list.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
Yeah, and get it honest. You know it's dad, it's
you know, the man that is. I graduated saludatoria eighth
grade at the ninety nine average September cent at Unbell
High School at ranking number seven, and I graduated with
three point five from college. It's it's distance stone that
my son gets. His brain's not saying his mother is
not smart.

Speaker 6 (43:45):
I graduated the three point nine from a college preparatory
school and Yellstown Pensylvania Place.

Speaker 8 (43:50):
Don't talk that too, don't play with me.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
I ranked number seven Toptember cent. Only people that beat
me was all nerds.

Speaker 5 (43:58):
What was what was the most difficult thing when it
came to ash Like, what was the one thing that
your guys kept bumping heads or y'all couldn't agree on
when it came to co parenting.

Speaker 8 (44:08):
I want to go first.

Speaker 6 (44:10):
When he was younger, you wouldn't send back the clothes
that I bought When I was sending him with you,
and you would go on Instagram. You would post it like, yeah,
I got myself, I took you, I bought it.

Speaker 8 (44:23):
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (44:24):
I never took your clothes? Always had his own wardrobe
with me.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
Bro.

Speaker 8 (44:28):
That was when he got a little older.

Speaker 6 (44:30):
That's what we made about him, Like, YO, send back
to that, Yes, send back the bag, I said earlier,
send back the bed.

Speaker 7 (44:39):
I be Russian.

Speaker 8 (44:40):
He kept the clothes.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
I washed him, fold him or put him in the cleanest.

Speaker 8 (44:44):
Okay, kline, But I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (44:47):
It's still my stuff that you got.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
It's his stuff. And you didn't send a bag every
week because if I if I kept something that you sent,
you ain't need to send it the follow one week
and then another. How many how many times every pair
attendance I bought him? I bought him two pairs, one
for you, one for me. Okay, I mean, I mean
Gucci belts. You don't lost?

Speaker 8 (45:11):
Well, why are you buying a kid?

Speaker 2 (45:12):
How many?

Speaker 8 (45:13):
How many like designers that young? I will grow out
of it.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
That's just been me. Okay, I'm sorry. That was my
mother logic. I felt like that logic was a great life.

Speaker 8 (45:24):
That's how you grew up.

Speaker 7 (45:25):
Yep, he would always he was in designer at a
very young age.

Speaker 8 (45:28):
That's not my damn fast.

Speaker 7 (45:33):
Well yeah, it didn't matter, and I was hating a
little bit.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
But so what like, no, like you got your kids designing,
I mean.

Speaker 8 (45:41):
Because I was out here in TJ Max.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
But that's you. You You were moving different.

Speaker 4 (45:49):
Either one of you have a reflection that made you
see a situation differently now that you're old.

Speaker 8 (45:54):
Hm hmm.

Speaker 6 (45:55):
You go first, Well, I feel like I feel like
I've been seeing things different for a while since Ash
was like five, you know what I mean. I feel like,
once we got past our feelings, I always saw you
in a different light. Like I always was like, Okay,
this will be, this is gonna be my friend. I
feel like nobody else got this young man any help.

(46:16):
Nobody ever, you know, try to guide him, you know, properly.
Even when you came into like your ex settlement, you
was getting money, you was out here. You feel me,
I felt like nobody was trying to help you in
any way.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
You want to hear that to finish, but I won't
speak on that because that's a big part in the
woman eyes and stuff like that too. Finish, you know.

Speaker 6 (46:38):
So, yeah, that's that's how I felt. I've always was
able to give grace and see and see the bigger picture, like, yeah,
this this is my friend, and I honestly feel going
back to the question that Charlamanne asks you when I
first walked in, if we didn't have Ashton, I know
we would not be together because that wasn't our story.

Speaker 8 (46:55):
But we would be friends. You know, we will be
best and.

Speaker 6 (47:00):
Still you know, so I do feel that way. But yeah,
I've always been reflecting.

Speaker 8 (47:04):
What what were you gonna say?

Speaker 2 (47:05):
I agree on that I do cause m your mother
hold all my stuff.

Speaker 8 (47:12):
It always goes back to my mom.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
What's the good that I've done?

Speaker 2 (47:15):
You know, I'm just saying your mother plays a big part.
I just wish more women had mothers like you.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Mm.

Speaker 4 (47:20):
What Roman is saying is true, cause it's always It
can always be a mother putting a negative battery in
a woman's backs.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Or or she just ain't care for the child. You
just like your mother?

Speaker 5 (47:29):
Yeah, I mean, but yes, it seemed like she feel
like you. You give a lot of profits to kudos
to her mom.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
But because she's great, No, I give kudos to both.
But as children. We speaking, we speaking right now, we
speaking on them. Then we was kids. I didn't have that.
I didn't have nobody to show me or teach me
how to be a father. It ain't no rule. But
got to figure that shit out my own. You you
know how I feel to go to college and you
got your son in your left hand and you gotta

(47:55):
do work.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
No, I don't know what I feel.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
Look, yeah, that's why I bought it ash and the
iPad at that young age, and beats don't nobody know
the hard work that I put in. And then for
the other children of mine, I do the same. So,
like I said, when you let her father be a father,
you're gonna see you. You're gonna see the finishing product
of it. Like I shouldn't have to fight my child

(48:19):
mint and take care of my kid. I helped you
make them right or her right? Why is it you
you shut the fuck up when oh here here, here, here, here,
here here, No, because you know, like I know, I
just had my boys at the market the other day.
We was having a moving night. We was on the
h the cart I took. You know, I'm a big kid,

(48:40):
especially when I'm babies around me. Man, my NX kid
come out. I'm on the cart I rolled from the
top with the mark of that all the way down
on the cart where Brice and Improves boys had the
best time of life. It's little things like that. My
money can't buy that. Yeah, so it'd be like, damn
if you do, damn if you don't.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
He's talking about the other baby mother's right now.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Yeah, I'm talking about this period don't have so I
don't call that's my sister. So you know we you know,
we clear on that. So like the world. No, when
I'm talking, I ain't talking about her. She's excluded. She's actually, yeah,
she's excluded.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Just got a baby from her brother.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
It was about to say something about the settlement.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
He was like, you get sold the settlement. Honestly, man,
the settlement, the settlement.

Speaker 8 (49:29):
Really nobody taught you to invest or any of that investing.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
I'm a hurt young man and I already got alla
got a little style, nice teeth. I ain't bodies teeth,
so you know, whatever the case may be. When that
money came, oh, I can get women to do whatever
the fun I want them to do.

Speaker 8 (49:49):
But why was that the goal?

Speaker 2 (49:50):
That was a goal? Because it made me feel better.
It blocked all the pain and hurt that I had mother,
the mother one. It blocked all that out. So you know,
at that time we talked about that nigga and went broken.
Had to really sit down and really, you know why
you want that? Okay, okay, cool, But looking back at yeah,

(50:13):
fucked up. That wasn't a way to go because all
you're doing is creating something that cost and it's going
to cost you over time, and you got to maintain
to be able to afford that cost. If not where
they're going out the door. So I created a problem
for myself and that's where I went to press that
a long time ago as well, trying to maintain a

(50:36):
lifestyle that I really couldn't keep up with because of
I have more children.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
M I loved it.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
Yourself away of it though, because like a lot of
people have the mother wound and don't even know that
they're turning to external things to self south like the alcohol,
the sex with the other women, Like they don't even
realize I'm only doing this because I'm.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
Actually hurt And it's no dis my lady now, but
like it was, it was in no disrespect to my
child mom. I was fucking but it was a time
I went on a ramp page. I felt like one
of the athletes type niggas. And it's not I'm not
it's not good. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not

(51:18):
glorifying it.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
But that ship.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
I don't know if other men feel like that, but
it was a different woman every day for probably two months.
Didn't kid about then't know their names, didn't nothing.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
Sometimes you gotta let let a legend.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
And and it's like because like, well like people don't
understand people. They judge you so much, but people don't understand. So,
like I said, and I do.

Speaker 8 (51:45):
Feel like he has well talk to you.

Speaker 6 (51:47):
I do feel like you have issues with your other
co parents, the other moms of your children, because never
got past all the hurt that y'all that you know
that that they it indor the relationship never got past
y y'all, y'all never sat down.

Speaker 8 (52:05):
Okay, so we never sat down with you, Yes we
sat down after the fact.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Well, yes, yes we already been. Don't put on you
on them, No, I'm over everything over them, Okay. They
don't want to and honestly I can't figure it out.
And I'm done trying to figure it out. That's why
I lost hair. I'm done. But no, no, I'm one
for five. I'm good.

Speaker 6 (52:29):
No, I know, I understand, but I was just saying,
that's why it's not a healthy co parenting team there,
because y'all didn't get through the issues. Y'all never really
sat down and had those uncomfortable conversations and got the
closure on the relationship side to move forward on.

Speaker 8 (52:46):
The co parents' side. That y'all never did what we did.

Speaker 6 (52:49):
You know what I mean, we were we were already
past each other once we sat down and talked. But
y'all were always just bickering every relationship after you know,
you and I when you had a kid, it was
just a bunch of bickering.

Speaker 7 (53:01):
And now that you're here saying that, yes, I was.

Speaker 8 (53:03):
Hurt, I was hurt.

Speaker 4 (53:03):
I was hurt.

Speaker 6 (53:04):
They didn't understand that. They didn't understand that, you know,
and you got bitter baby moms. Like I say in
the book, it's okay to be better, just don't stay there.
But you kept them there because you kept going back
dealing with this one, that you dealing with that when
you never closed the door with this one.

Speaker 8 (53:19):
And that you dealing with this when this one.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
Got about it, and I keep going back? And why
did I keep going back and going back because it
was convenient? Why did I keep going back and going back?
Was because that was the only way that I can
get my child. I went back three times to two
different women. I do really why because that was the
only way that they will be out of their feelings
and I can see my child. I remember that, and

(53:42):
I'm gonna speak on my last child mom. We will
never be like you, but were moving in that direction, Charlatne.
We talked about it earlier. You said why did you
move back from South Carolina? And I stayed it at
that time and my last child Mom, we wasn't seeing
an eye, We wasn't talking. I couldn't even face time.
And then it wasn't until I brought the kids back
up here for school before it hit me that, damn,

(54:05):
I'm just down here by myself. I don't know how
to function without just going to work. Might get some
free time on myself and get my kids. I don't
know how to function like that. So I try to
do everything I could with them for them to wanting
to half months before they were at school, but prosper
I wasn't talking to prop but I couldn't see Prized,
but I couldn't FaceTime, so I'm in back in my mind,

(54:25):
I'm like, damn, he said.

Speaker 8 (54:26):
He a baby?

Speaker 4 (54:27):
Is he?

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Did he even know me?

Speaker 1 (54:30):
It's crazy you said that?

Speaker 2 (54:31):
Do you even know me?

Speaker 8 (54:32):
Like dang?

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Is he? I don't know? And and that hurt it.
So no, my uncle tough love. And I'm glad that
I had my uncle around here, like, man, suck that
shit up, you'll be odd. So that kept going. My
son mom get diagnosed with breast cats.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Sat on it for like two weeks if I was
wanting to move back or not, because I felt like
and she said no, she had moved on, she had
a friend, or whatever the case may be. But I
wasn't moving back for that. I was moving back because
I wanted to be closer to my son, and I
felt like she needed me more to be there physically
for my son because of the transition that was about
to happen.

Speaker 8 (55:06):
Because imagine what she's going there, and.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
That transition is all chemo radiation. Yes, and she decided
to take that route instead of going I know some
people that went to.

Speaker 6 (55:16):
The natural holistic route, and Prosper was a baby. He
was young, so that was a lot of pressure on her,
you know what I mean. So, yeah, although she has family,
they're not always there for her. She has to do
a lot by herself too, you know, she has another kids.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
And then they say when you know, when she explained
that to me, when you're going through that, you need
as much support as you can. Yes, So no, I
didn't think, oh no, I'm gonna be with this woman. No,
I said this woman need me. Yes, you do have
another child as well, but I say, this woman needs me,
and I moved back. Uh, I got to see my
son and that was history. And now we, like I said, so,

(55:54):
I'm saying, I don't have another co porta with all
but my last one. And they the twins actual looked
just alike. Yeah, so I got a coke parenting with
her and yeah, but I feel like if she didn't,
which wasn't diagnosed, I might have not moved back so fast.
But yeah, that was that was one thing and I'm

(56:15):
dealing with that now. Of course, you know always heard
about that because I projected my once again, I projected
another my trauma on my son as well. I'm like,
I don't want baby to be without his mother. That's
all I'm thinking about. Like, I don't want that phone
call and I'm not there.

Speaker 6 (56:30):
Right, That's what I wanted you to say. I don't
want to say I want him to use his mom.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
Yeah, but she she healthy now and she needed she's
doing she's in a gym, she's fit, high spirit, still
changing her dreams. But yeah, what's prospers? You know you're
about to turn for June. Yeah, but it's two for five.
I don't mean to keep saying one.

Speaker 6 (56:54):
It's too for I do see it being five for
five with with like this negative this book. No, seriously
is the space that y'all in right now? I understand,
but I do see it being that way.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Ho, I'm cutting you off. No pross for three? Yeah,
and mother ones is no props for three And it
happened and mother ones is no seven.

Speaker 8 (57:21):
No, I'm not gonna hate each other, trust me.

Speaker 2 (57:25):
Check this out.

Speaker 4 (57:26):
M hm.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
I just want to take care of my kids. I
don't care if you hate me, and you don't, I
got it. Hey, everybody wanna be like you. Everybody ain't
coming to save me. Mm hmm. Everybody don't care about
if I'm happy or not, because when I'm happy, everybody
around me happy. So I get it. But I don't
think like that no more because that burns me up

(57:46):
and eats me up. It's nice where you know, whatever
the case may be. But no, I take my first
and last, and I'm good with that. When mother ones
start to be mature, Oh here, take your kid, don't just.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
Yeah, I get what both of y'all saying. I get
what just saying.

Speaker 4 (58:02):
I get what you were saying, just as like, you know,
this book should show you that healing is possible because
y'all weren't always in the best.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
But we ain't never been like this. I never not
seen my kid. I don't give a fuck about not
having a relationship with the woman. I don't beat my kid. Yeah,
give me my kid. That's all I got. But if
you you're using that against me, obviously it's something you
that ain't right. You're a fucked up person, right.

Speaker 6 (58:27):
But at one, at some point y'all loved each other. Yeah,
I know, I'm saying. It's still it's still existed, you know,
So if you can, if you're not, I'm not saying,
get back to that place. But at one point, if
there was a point where you did love a person,
then you can actually see the good in them, you
know what I mean, to try to start to mend
that and that that that just starts with confronting the

(58:48):
things that eat you up about that person. That's all
it is, is just an uncomfortable conversation. But I'm gonna
get you robbed up no more. There is one thing
before we end it is well with one thing.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
I know. I wondered because because this is the topic
that now the world is talking about it, I wan't
talking about it before.

Speaker 7 (59:07):
But you know, I mean, we we've been doing this
since the pandemic.

Speaker 2 (59:10):
I think that the funny part about it is because
even right now I'm talking and I'm going through the ship, like, yeah,
I moved back a year and a half ago, seeing
my nine year old daughter twice. Right, I came back twice.
My mother text called me that probably eleven o'clock three
four last week night. You called him this sleep for

(59:30):
I missed it because I was sleeping. Next morning, what up,
I'm ready to have a conversation about our daughter. Are
you free? I said? What I said? What would the
conversation be about other than her? You went missing? I didn't?
I did? I own it?

Speaker 8 (59:47):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
So here's a father trying to be a father. Guess
what I said? Hey, she like in a call, I'm
like ashing Bryce in the price for sleep. Talk to
you tomorrow. I can eat you tomorrow. At that dropped
them off to school.

Speaker 8 (01:00:04):
And that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
Did you did you went missing again?

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Hmm?

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
Okay, text? Hey free? Hey, So what's like? But she'll
call me a dead beat? See what I'm going at
with it. I'm not bashing her. She's a great mom,
all of them. She'll call me all of them all. Ye,
I would never take that. I got a nice line
up for the great moms. So with without me, I
think my kids, you know, besides of trauma, whatever can

(01:00:31):
they have been, they have been taken care of well.
But but you see the type of things that fathers
that actually care. I know some niggas that just don't
give a fuck.

Speaker 5 (01:00:40):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
Hey, I'm free, I want to meet up go missing again? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
What I want to know is why I haven't just
en through a copy of the book.

Speaker 8 (01:00:51):
They just came out of the book. I'm gonna get.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
To be honest, bro, I don't think you can read
Oh my god, what do you mean. I don't think
they'll read it.

Speaker 8 (01:01:07):
You don't think that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
We might want Yeah, I've already read the book.

Speaker 8 (01:01:14):
Amazing, thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
We was in court, yeah, the whole thing.

Speaker 8 (01:01:20):
But that's good. That's the one that you were on
good terms with it like that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
And it's like it's like it's one of those things
man for men. I'm protecting my mental It is what
it is. It ain't what it ain't. I'm a control
If I can't control, only control what you can control.
Mm hmm. That's my logic. It is what it is.
And when you and when you go by that on
a man or your peace part, things be, it just

(01:01:46):
comes to you. It'd be easy. So, like I said,
if it happens, it happens, but I'm not expecting it
to because because if it don't, I won't be hurt again.
I look so forward to death.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Do we parent too?

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
That you're writing and see that's what it is.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
I ain't gonna say it. Don't want you to steal
my ship nobody yet, but you have to be parent part.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
What is it you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
To you know it's too you have to be parent
part to let her father be your father.

Speaker 8 (01:02:19):
Yeah, I love it and I love you too, y,
I really do.

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
The book is out right now.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
Make sure you get my guy room, sending room, healing
energy all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
Eight fellas, protect your peace.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Man.

Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
All right, it's the Breakfast Club. It's big room, little one, It's.

Speaker 7 (01:02:36):
The Breakfast Morning and just god damn okay.

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
Sometimes sometimes no, that was yo.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
Every day I waiting click yours up the Breakfast Club.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
You don't finish for y'all done