INTERVIEW: Zuri Hall On Saying Goodbye To Access Hollywood, Career Journey, Dating Life, Healthy Boundaries + More

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hold up.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Every day I wake up.

Speaker 3 (00:03):
Wake your ass up.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
The Breakfast Club.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
You all finished or you all done?

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Morning, everybody.

Speaker 4 (00:09):
It's DJ Envy, Just Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha God. We are
The Breakfast Club. Lawla Rose is here as well. We
got a special guest in the building.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
She's back, ladies and gentlemen, Zuri Hall.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Welcome.

Speaker 5 (00:19):
Hi.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Thank you. Thank you. How you feeling, pretty lady? I
feel good. Thank you so much. Right back at you, gorgeous.
It's been good.

Speaker 6 (00:26):
I got in.

Speaker 5 (00:26):
I was at the U.S. Open a few days ago,
which is really fun. Been doing some press, talking pop culture, Hollywood,
Emmys are around the corner, and It feels good to
be in New York.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
I'm spending more time out here lately.

Speaker 7 (00:36):
Since you mentioned the U.S.

Speaker 4 (00:37):
Open, I just wanted to ask you, how do you
feel about the creators going crazy in the U.S.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
Open?

Speaker 7 (00:41):
And the refs having to say, please sit down. Please
turn off your cameras.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
The weed.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Please stop the flash. The weed. All the things.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
The weed.

Speaker 6 (00:48):
I mean, the weed can be anybody, though.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Technically, it's probably not just the influencers. You don't feel
like the super, super tennis people went and smoked at
the U.S.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Open?

Speaker 6 (00:55):
I would assume that anybody, obviously, if.

Speaker 7 (00:58):
They have a little.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
It's legal.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
It's legal.

Speaker 7 (01:01):
It's a little smoke break.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, but I feel like... The two, like, tennis watchers, they're, like,
they drunk, but they, like, in it.

Speaker 8 (01:07):
Like, they not.

Speaker 6 (01:07):
Locked in, yeah, it's the honey deuces.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
It's just the honey deuces and the vibes.

Speaker 5 (01:11):
I think there is a conversation that needs to be had.

Speaker 6 (01:14):
But, like, the flash photography, et cetera, it's all a
part of the fact that the U.S.

Speaker 5 (01:18):
Open at this point, it really is, like, a sports
take on fashion week. Like, you've got Anna Wintour in
the box, you know, you've got A-list celebrities rubbing shoulders.
It's turned into this, like, pop culture phenomenon. So I
think that comes with the territory. You want influencers there
because they're moving the needle in a different way. They're
getting new eyeballs on the sport, which I think is great.
But you also do have to respect the sport. Like,

(01:39):
it's an incredibly impressive one. There is a certain rule
or a set of etiquette rules in the world of tennis.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
And you can't show up into somebody's house and then
do what you want to do.

Speaker 8 (01:48):
They don't know we?

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Get them to play us. I mean, I don't think
they can, right?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, they get tested.

Speaker 5 (01:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:55):
Like they can do it in any other sport. But
do you feel like it's more about the culture and,
you know, like the whole influencer thing than it is
about the sport, though?

Speaker 5 (02:04):
I think sometimes influencers can make it more about that, right?
So when you're looking at it from their perspective, you're
getting the cute pics. And look, I posted my cute
little picture in the suite, too. So I'm speaking as somebody.

Speaker 6 (02:14):
But you were still very much into the games.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
The match was incredible.

Speaker 6 (02:17):
You watch the match.

Speaker 5 (02:18):
You don't move when they're playing, right? Even when it
came time to, like, get up, go to the suite,
get food, get a drink. You can't do that while
they're playing. Everyone is frozen, locked in their seats. As
soon as they stop down, chaos. Get your drink, get
your whatever, smoke your weed, whatever you're going to do,
and then go back to your seat.

Speaker 9 (02:34):
I'm so glad football is back so y'all can stop
acting like y'all care about tennis.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Lord have mercy. Thank God football is back.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Tennis is incredible. It's fine. But I was going to ask,
how did the U.S.

Speaker 7 (02:43):
Open get there?

Speaker 4 (02:44):
Because out of all the sports, I think that's the
only sport.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
When did Zori become the tennis champion?

Speaker 5 (02:47):
I'm just asking her opinion.

Speaker 4 (02:52):
I'm asking her when she thought it became part of
pop culture. Because you just mentioned that people come there,
it's a fashion show, Anna Wintour was there. But you
don't see that in any other sport. You don't look
to see what people are wearing.

Speaker 7 (03:04):
At the Knicks game.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
You know what I mean? Not like U.S. Open.

Speaker 5 (03:08):
U.S.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Open has a blue rug to walk on. What do
you think courtside is for?

Speaker 7 (03:11):
Not like U.S.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
Open where you're standing up and they have the blue carpet.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
It's totally different.

Speaker 5 (03:16):
There is a blue carpet, but I do think it's
fashion in both spaces. Like the courtside fits, that is
the moment. NBA games, et cetera.

Speaker 6 (03:22):
Even like football now, honestly, I think like with.

Speaker 5 (03:25):
wag culture with, you know, Sierra and Russ and Taylor
and Travis and like all these people who are coming
into this intersection of sports and entertainment, right? I think
there's just more to watch than the game.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
And so people are.

Speaker 5 (03:37):
Looking at this as a moment to kind of like
pop out, show off the fits, you know, like have
an entire... What would you call it? Not a lifestyle,
but have an entire, you know, like cultural moment around
the sport. Like whether you watch it or not, you
want to be cute. You want to have your drinks.
You want to say I was there. So I do
think that the U.S. Open is a very specific kind.
Like it's kind of giving, ooh, what's the word I

(03:59):
want to say?

Speaker 6 (03:59):
There's a certain level of.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Elitism?

Speaker 5 (04:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Potentially.

Speaker 6 (04:03):
Some might argue that.

Speaker 5 (04:04):
But like elevated sort of high fashion, maybe traditionally exclusivity.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (04:12):
But I think that basketball and football have always had that.
I think we never expected in tennis here.

Speaker 6 (04:17):
And now we're starting to see that, too.

Speaker 5 (04:19):
So I low key feel like tennis is catching up
to like the basketball and football.

Speaker 8 (04:22):
Of it all.

Speaker 9 (04:24):
Do you remember the Zuri who was sending like cold
emails trying to get.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Somebody to give her an opportunity.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Who told you about this? Yeah, I do.

Speaker 5 (04:32):
I sometimes go back to those old emails and read
them just to look at all of the rejection and
remind myself.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
How far I've come.

Speaker 5 (04:40):
Because even now, I get no's all the time. But
I remember when it was only no's, and then I
remind myself one yes. And then I look back at
that first 2011 email where it was like, actually, you
can come in and meet with us for 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
And then that moved the needle. It took me to
the next thing, took me to the next thing. But yeah.

Speaker 8 (04:58):
How did those nose shape how you are now?

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh, I got you.

Speaker 8 (05:02):
How did the nose shape how you are now? Because
you didn't get a bunch of nose, like infinite nose.
to tear you away from what you want to do.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
Totally.

Speaker 8 (05:12):
Or the other way, it can make you go harder.
How in that moment?

Speaker 5 (05:15):
I think because with my father, I think we might
have talked about this a little bit, but he always
raised me with, I say, a healthy level of delusion
where anything is possible.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
I told her this yesterday.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Wait, in what way? He told me I was delusional.
But that's good. You got to be.

Speaker 10 (05:31):
But I just didn't know anything coming from him that
could be slightly positive. You're just like, what's the catch?

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Why are we saying it? Tell me more. Where is
this coming from?

Speaker 10 (05:39):
I think that you do need that because you posted
a video talking about building your life as a ladder
and why people shouldn't do that. And what she's talking
about is like, you get on one step of that
ladder and something don't work out. You still got to
be delusional enough to know that, like, I can get
to the top of the ladder because this random other
person did it.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Exactly.

Speaker 6 (05:57):
That's exactly it.

Speaker 5 (05:58):
Like, I think that delusion is when I hear a no,
or especially back in the early days, it was just
not yet or not this way, not this door. And
so I never took it personally.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
It was like.

Speaker 5 (06:08):
Oh, you don't know me enough yet to know that
I'm going to crush this. Oh, you don't understand how
I work or how I move. So that has nothing
to do with me. That has to do with the
fact that you don't know. You don't know what you're
passing on. You don't know what you're missing out on.
So I'll go get it somewhere else, and then eventually
you'll see what you missed out on.

Speaker 9 (06:25):
What did Zuri that was trying to get on have
that successful Zuri sometimes has to fight to keep?

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Whoa. Say that one more time.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Right.

Speaker 9 (06:35):
What did the Zuri that was trying to get on
have that successful Zuri sometimes.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Has to fight to keep? Oh, that's good, Char. I think....

Speaker 5 (06:47):
She sometimes she had to fight to keep. And now
I think I'm doing a pretty good job of it.
Remembering this isn't it.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
This isn't the end all be all.

Speaker 5 (06:55):
Like, you know, as much as I love my career
and for a long time to Lauren's point, I built
it like a ladder. I've talked about that. This isn't
the most important thing in my life. And that's saying
a lot because it's.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
One of the most important things in my life.

Speaker 5 (07:07):
But being from Ohio, growing up in Toledo, thank God
my parents are still here and they're so present and
active in my life.

Speaker 6 (07:14):
I've got a niece.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
I've got a nephew. Thank you.

Speaker 5 (07:15):
There's just so much more that matters. And for a
long time, Scrappy Zuri, who was just trying to get it,
was super ambitious. And it was only work. I missed
out on so many things. I missed one of my
At the time, she was a good friend. Now one
of my best friends' weddings. And I always, that still
breaks my heart to think about. But it was at
a time in my life where I was afraid to
ask for a vacation day. I was afraid to be like, hey,

(07:37):
this important thing in my life is happening.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
I need to be there.

Speaker 5 (07:40):
And quite frankly, I don't know if I even understood
how important those things were.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
At that time, right?

Speaker 6 (07:47):
And that's just not the case anymore.

Speaker 5 (07:49):
So I would say like the Zuri who was like
this or nothing else, like sometimes.

Speaker 6 (07:56):
I have to remember that, I think. I kind of
just went a little.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Bit all over the place with that. Get Zuri some
more liquor. I want to hear Zuri talk.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
No!

Speaker 1 (08:06):
I was just waiting.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
You took the first one? Okay, wait.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
So that's, no wait. Oh, you took it already.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
I'm late?

Speaker 8 (08:11):
She is.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Hold on. I'm going to pour it.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
She was here last time. She was like in and out.
We get to talk to Zuri today.

Speaker 6 (08:17):
All right, let's do it.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Are you doing things for Fashion Week?

Speaker 7 (08:20):
I am not.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm getting out of here.

Speaker 6 (08:22):
Thank you so much, love.

Speaker 8 (08:22):
You're welcome.

Speaker 6 (08:23):
I fly out later today, back to L.A., How much
of my business can I tell?

Speaker 1 (08:28):
I think this is important.

Speaker 8 (08:29):
Tell us everything.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
All of it.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
The reason normally I would be covering the Emmys on Monday,
but I'm getting surgery. And I actually feel very strongly
about talking about this. I'm getting a fibroid removed.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Oh, my God. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 (08:46):
And the reason that I have to do it then
is this is the only time they could squeeze me
in in the next couple of months. And I want
to get it done before award season really kicks off.
with the Globes in January, so I have time to recover.
Is this your first time dealing with the Farbrook?

Speaker 7 (08:59):
How long is recovery time?

Speaker 5 (09:00):
Mine is a minimally invasive version of it with robotic assistance.
So hopefully, I'm trying to get on a flight to
Ohio to finish my recovery three days after. We're going
to see if that's overly ambitious. I hope my surgeon's
not listening. I think they told me a week, a
week before I should get on the plane. Um, but
I think it'll be like a week or so of
just like rest, et cetera. But I have friends who

(09:22):
have done it and they've had multiple fibroids removed and
they were out. Like it was one of my friends
is going through right now. And she said, it's been
pretty brutal. Um, I haven't traditionally had them, but I
did egg freezing. And so I did four rounds and
a lot of estrogen, a lot of hormones. And I
do kind of wonder if that's where it came from.

Speaker 7 (09:40):
Was it painful? Did they feel it from the pain?

Speaker 1 (09:42):
No, I have no pain.

Speaker 5 (09:43):
I just, yeah, when I started the egg freezing journey,
I just got really serious about my health period. So
reproductive health, fertility preservation. And so, you know, you're doing
these ultrasounds. And during one of the ultrasounds, probably my
third or fourth round, for the first time, they were like,
you know, you have a fibroid, right?

Speaker 1 (10:00):
And I was like, what? No, I've never had one
of those. Like, what does that mean?

Speaker 6 (10:03):
And they were like, they're super common, really normal, especially
in black women.

Speaker 5 (10:06):
They affect us disproportionately. Like 80%.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Like up to 80% of black women. Exactly.

Speaker 5 (10:12):
Up to 80% by the age of 50 are going
to deal with at least one fibroid in their life.
And so it was new for me, but they said
nothing to worry about, whatever. But I do want to
have kids and I'm excited to, you know, hopefully carry
as many naturally.

Speaker 6 (10:25):
As I can.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
And where it's located, they're like, yeah, you need to
just get that out of there.

Speaker 5 (10:29):
How does that impact your reproductive journey?

Speaker 2 (10:32):
Or does it? I don't know.

Speaker 5 (10:34):
Fibro removal, for some women, unfortunately, it seriously impacts your
reproductive journey to the point some women can't carry.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Some women have.

Speaker 5 (10:44):
Hysterectomies where there's a complete removal because of the fibroids.

Speaker 6 (10:49):
Scarring is a risk also.

Speaker 5 (10:51):
And then when you have these fibroids, depending on where
they're located in your uterus, it can harm or I
guess you would say deter implantation, right?

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (11:01):
For a fetus.

Speaker 5 (11:01):
Now, I've gone from US Open expert to OBGYN. Y'all,
this is not medical advice for the record. I feel
like I need to say that. It's your personal experience. Yeah,
it's just my personal experience, but it can definitely deter implantation,
and that's what you need to take a healthy baby
nine months to term.

Speaker 10 (11:18):
How long did it take you before you found your
doctor that like you were comfortable with with doing the
fibroid surgery?

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Because that's another issue for some women. It is. It's hard.

Speaker 5 (11:28):
I had a couple of really good recommendations. I was
on a time clock. So there was, you know, I
wanted to get it done a certain amount of time.
So that closed the window on some options. But I'm
really excited about the surgeon that I have because he
was highly recommended.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
He knows his stuff.

Speaker 6 (11:42):
He's worked with people that I know who are like.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
He was great.

Speaker 5 (11:46):
Um, and so that helps to have a friend who
went through it.

Speaker 6 (11:50):
Um, but it's really hard even for me, like what
I was researching is overwhelming.

Speaker 5 (11:54):
You're going off of a zoom consultation or a 20
minute in person, sit down. And then it's like, I'm
offering up the most intimate, literally and figuratively part of
me and like trusting that you're going to do a
good enough job that you'll be fine after.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
I'll be fine.

Speaker 5 (12:09):
And the things that I want are the things that
I'm going to be able to have. So, um, Y'all
can't want me on the other side, but we gonna
knock this out in a week.

Speaker 8 (12:16):
But those robotic surgeries, they have proved to be, like,
a lot more efficient. Your scarring, you won't have like
a bunch of scarring.

Speaker 6 (12:25):
It's really good.

Speaker 8 (12:26):
I had a robotic surgery as well.

Speaker 5 (12:27):
Did you?

Speaker 8 (12:27):
Yeah, when I had my, I had my gallbladder removed.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Okay.

Speaker 8 (12:29):
Yeah, and that's not even what I went there for.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Wait, who would you go there for? I just, no,
I didn't.

Speaker 8 (12:36):
I go there for my eyes, dummy.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
No, I didn't.

Speaker 8 (12:39):
I went there because my eye, I just kept throwing
up like real, real crazy. Honestly, I thought I was pregnant, honestly,
but no, that wasn't even it. They said I had
gallstones and then they thought about removing the gallstones and
then I had two more doctors come in and say,
we're just going to remove the gallbladder. And I was like, well,
what about my other one? And it was like, no,
you only have one. I was like, wow, I didn't
know that. So, yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
Wait, how many?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
We only have one gallbladder. Oh, you thought you had multiple?

Speaker 8 (13:03):
Yeah, I thought it was like two.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 8 (13:04):
One on each side. It was like, no. Yeah, and
I was like, oh, okay, just kidding. But yeah, they
removed the gallbladder and they used the microscopic, like the
robotic surgery.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, yeah, that's exactly it.

Speaker 8 (13:15):
And you can barely see incisions. My recovery was a
lot quicker. I know it's very.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
Different from five-point surgery, but it was robotic surgery.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, that's what he's telling me.

Speaker 6 (13:24):
Minimally invasive, tiny incisions. Because that's what I'm nervous about, honestly.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
And it's quick.

Speaker 6 (13:27):
So superficial.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
With the diarrhea afterwards that you experience often.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
Excuse me?

Speaker 2 (13:33):
Everybody knows. They see you running out of here.

Speaker 8 (13:34):
No, Zuri did not know nothing about this.

Speaker 5 (13:36):
I did.

Speaker 2 (13:36):
Oh, my fault.

Speaker 6 (13:37):
I do now, but that's okay because that's, you know,
safe space.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
But I don't have diarrhea today. Okay, well, I love that.

Speaker 4 (13:43):
She has to move booty every.

Speaker 7 (13:46):
Once in a while.

Speaker 9 (13:47):
You know, Zuri, you know, once I heard you say,
you said you didn't believe in backup plans.

Speaker 7 (13:51):
Do you still believe that?

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Ooh, um, do I still believe that? Backup plans.

Speaker 5 (13:59):
I guess I have to say no, I don't believe
it because even egg freezing is technically, I would categorize
it as a backup plan, right? Because the goal up
until a certain age, at least for me, was to
get pregnant naturally and egg freezing was a backup plan.

Speaker 6 (14:15):
I think career-wise, professionally... Yes, I still believe that.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
Like, it's all in.

Speaker 6 (14:19):
It's all or nothing.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Like, this is what I'm doing.

Speaker 5 (14:22):
And in the downtime when I'm not doing it, it's
just trying to figure out how to get back to
wherever I'm trying to go. But personally, yeah, I believe
in backup plans when it comes to this fertility.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
You know what's so crazy?

Speaker 10 (14:33):
Before you asked that, I was going to ask you,
at what point did you stop kind of believing in
the backup plan for your personal life because you said
you froze your eggs? Because it's been something that, like,
I think a lot of career, you were so focused
on career.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (14:44):
And you have to think about, okay, at what time does...
my real life kicking and how's that going to work
out for me? But it seems like you've made the
switch where you're like, no, I'm prioritizing my real life.
When did that switch for you?

Speaker 1 (14:55):
That's exactly it. Like what happened?

Speaker 5 (14:57):
I love that question. I, I think I got to
this point in my life where, you know, I talk
about this ladder theory and how we should be building
like pillars, right?

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Instead.

Speaker 5 (15:05):
So you have this house. The foundation for me is
my faith because sometimes, all the pillars come crashing down
at once.

Speaker 6 (15:11):
And it's like, okay, then what? But at least you
still have this firm foundation.

Speaker 5 (15:14):
I got to this point where I had nothing to
show for my life outside of my professional accomplishments. So
when the career stuff imploded or I got hit with
a plot twist or whatever it was, I had nothing
to show. Like I had, you know, and so much
of my identity was wrapped up in what I was
achieving or accomplishing. And I was like, this is a

(15:34):
crappy way to live. And also even sometimes at my
highest moments, I'm talking like, Oscars, Grammys, Golden Globes, co-hosting
Fashion Police with Joan Rivers, all these different things. I
still have moments of misery. Like, internally, I felt a void.
I felt a lack of fulfillment because I was always

(15:55):
chasing the next high. Like, it was incredible when I
was on set. It was incredible when that show premiered.
But the in-between, there was nothing because I hadn't built
up anything else. And I was like, I just don't
want to live this way because it's giving too much
control to the people in positions of power in this country.
landscape that I'm choosing to participate in. So I got

(16:16):
to figure out how to build up these other pillars.
And I also realized, you know, at the end of
the day, it's the folks in Ohio, it's my family,
it's my friends, it's my loved ones who are going
to be here throughout this entire journey. Like half the
people that I worked with at any given moment, would
they be.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
At my wedding? Would they be at my funeral? You know,
not to go dark.

Speaker 5 (16:35):
And the answer was probably not. And so why would
I give that much energy to these people? God bless them,
but Give them more than I'm giving the people who
are rocking with me, high or low, good or bad.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
I like that. Go ahead.

Speaker 10 (16:47):
What do you think your need for accomplishment, like now
that you're in this space where you can really remove
yourself from your accomplishments, where do you think your need
for accomplishing comes from? Is it you really want to
accomplish or is it a fulfillment of something else that
you were trying to figure out?

Speaker 1 (17:01):
I think it's both.

Speaker 8 (17:03):
Dr.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
LaRosa.

Speaker 8 (17:04):
It's giving therapists.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
I love it. She needs a role. She needs to
be on somebody's couch. I love it.

Speaker 8 (17:11):
You have siblings?

Speaker 1 (17:12):
I do have two brothers. I'm the oldest. Okay. So
she gets it. I identify.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (17:17):
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
Oldest? Yes.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
Oldest girl is like a whole thing.

Speaker 8 (17:20):
I have one brother and a little sister.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Okay.

Speaker 8 (17:23):
So I'm the middle child.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Okay.

Speaker 8 (17:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
I think.

Speaker 5 (17:27):
I sometimes joke it's a trauma response, but low-key it
kind of is a bit of a trauma response.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
I am wildly ambitious.

Speaker 5 (17:33):
I've been that way since I was young, since before
I had ideas about what success did.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Or didn't mean.

Speaker 5 (17:39):
But, yeah, I think when you're shy like I was
growing up and you don't feel seen in certain spaces,
accomplishment was a way to be seen.

Speaker 6 (17:49):
It was a way for people to pay attention to me.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Like, I'm not.

Speaker 6 (17:52):
Brave enough or outgoing enough.

Speaker 5 (17:54):
At this time to go up and talk to you
and just be precocious, you know, off record.

Speaker 6 (17:59):
But when you put a mic in front of me or.

Speaker 5 (18:02):
It's a stage play and it's action or it's go
or the curtain opens, it forced me to take up
space in a way that I knew I was capable of,
but not wired to just do day.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
In and day out.

Speaker 5 (18:15):
And so that kind of fed me in, I think,
a really genuine way.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
But as I.

Speaker 6 (18:20):
Started to excel and achieve, Probably.

Speaker 5 (18:22):
Somewhere along the way, early on, I got wrapped up
in this idea of, oh, this is the only thing
that makes me worthy.

Speaker 6 (18:29):
Of attention or your presence.

Speaker 5 (18:32):
Or your friendship or your romantic interest. You know, like
so much of the story I told myself for a
long time was this is why anyone engages with me.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
No, not even deserve.

Speaker 6 (18:47):
Or if I didn't have this. I wouldn't get this.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
You wouldn't engage. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (18:53):
It wasn't from a place of, like, entitlement or arrogance.
It was a place of insecurity, of, like, I got
to do all this to get the attention feel superficial.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
But, yeah, to be seen.

Speaker 4 (19:05):
Where did you get the courage not to chase anymore?
Because you had to get to a point where you said,
I don't need to chase this anymore.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (19:11):
Because that's the hardest point with anybody in this business, right?
They chase so much.

Speaker 7 (19:15):
And they look back and they're like, damn, I miss
so much as well. When did you get that courage?

Speaker 6 (19:19):
I think when I realized how much I was missing, right?

Speaker 5 (19:22):
Like the fact that I'll never have pictures at my
best friend's wedding, that's going to stick with me. And
I try to make up for it in the ways
that I can. And I'll hop the flight in a heartbeat.
Now she has a beautiful daughter and incredible husband, like,
you know, but like that sticks with you. So you
have just enough of those moments of like, I don't
want to go through life like that.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
And I think.

Speaker 5 (19:39):
After you serve your time and you pay your dues enough,
it's like, I don't have anything left to prove.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
Like, I just really don't.

Speaker 6 (19:45):
You know, like, I have so many more goals for myself.

Speaker 5 (19:48):
I'm excited to hit as many of them as God
allows and provides for.

Speaker 6 (19:53):
But I've done what I needed to do for the
record to stay. Zuri was ambitious. She was talented. She
did things right.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
And so.

Speaker 5 (20:00):
I just I have a piece about proving myself. And
I think the more like the self-worth kind of like
ramped up, it's like I just ain't got nothing to
prove anymore.

Speaker 9 (20:10):
So you made me think about a bunch of stuff,
but like Access Hollywood, right? When something you've attached part
of your identity to ends, right? How do you separate
this show is over from what does this say about me?

Speaker 5 (20:23):
I think because I've already detached from who I am
being what I do. It's the end of an era.
I have appreciated it. It's been 11-ish years, 12 years
at E! News and Access Hollywood.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
All good things come to an end.

Speaker 8 (20:40):
It's bittersweet.

Speaker 5 (20:41):
The show's been on air for 30 years. But I'm
excited for what's to come. Our last show is this week, actually.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
It's this Thursday. We'll film it.

Speaker 5 (20:48):
And it's kind of wild to look at Friday and
be like, I'm going to just do what I want
to do. I'm going to just live my life. But
I'm so excited about that. I'm so excited to just
look at the unknown.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
And don't get me wrong.

Speaker 6 (21:03):
The team is working. The contracts are being negotiated. Stones
are in the fire.

Speaker 5 (21:07):
But I'm excited to look at this blank page for
the end of 2026 and keep it blank on purpose.
I just want to be and let God surprise me
and see what existing calls in.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
And yeah.

Speaker 9 (21:22):
Is there any grief attached to Access Hollywood ending that
surprised you a little bit?

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Not really.

Speaker 6 (21:28):
I shed a few tears this past Friday.

Speaker 5 (21:31):
Like right before I got on the plane to come
to New York, I filmed my last show up at
the Globe, up at Universal Studios. And sometimes when you're
doing something every day, you forget how special it is.
And like Lil Z and Toledo, seven years old. Like
Universal Studios, they make the biggest films and shows that
I've seen. And I'm just there every day hosting the show. Like,

(21:53):
all right, guys, that's it from Universal Studios Hollywood until
next time.

Speaker 8 (21:56):
The world is seeing your face.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (21:58):
And then to say it for the last time and know, like,
that's it. So as soon as we wrapped, I did
finally let myself feel it. And, yeah, it's bittersweet, but
I do feel like it's time. I'm excited for what
is to come because also you get comfortable.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Like, if you do.

Speaker 5 (22:13):
Something long enough and you can kind of do it
without thinking too hard about it and you love it, like,
I genuinely loved it, Like, you'll stay there. And I
think it feels like God is just divinely clearing the table.

Speaker 10 (22:26):
Like, one full sweep. That's what I heard in your
last answer. You said, you mentioned, I think, I don't
know if you said God or your spirituality, something. I
was like, oh, it's the God piece of it. Like,
you've gotten to a point where you're just letting God
do what he do.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
Letting him do what he does. That's exactly it.

Speaker 6 (22:40):
Because, like, he's never let me down.

Speaker 5 (22:43):
And, like, there's so many things that I've wanted that
I didn't get and I was mad about.

Speaker 6 (22:47):
And then I saw the why later, right? Like, I
just trust his process.

Speaker 9 (22:52):
I feel like you've always been like that, though.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
You think so?

Speaker 5 (22:56):
I think I used to be way more stubborn about, like,
I used to beat a door down.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
Like, I used to stick around longer.

Speaker 5 (23:04):
Some might argue in other areas of my life.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
That's still the case.

Speaker 5 (23:10):
But I used to stick around longer than the circumstances justified.

Speaker 6 (23:15):
It was like, no, I want to make this work.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
MTV, you is out.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
You love to bring this up.

Speaker 8 (23:21):
Girl, it was right 20 years ago, too.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
It's been like decades, Jess.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
She was the first thing smoking. Right. She was working
with him. First thing smoking. I know that's right.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
You hear me? Okay.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
First of all, best thing ever happened to you.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Knock it off. I might choke on this tequila.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
All right.

Speaker 8 (23:39):
And I dare your boy here to say you the
best thing that happened to me.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
One of them.

Speaker 8 (23:43):
Okay, one of, one of.

Speaker 6 (23:46):
For sure, like, you, like, I've told you that before, though.

Speaker 5 (23:50):
Not to get all emo and woo-woo, but, like, back
when I was at MTV and I was in New York, like, that,
you were a very important person in my life, and
it was a very complicated time for me, and I
was dealing with, like, insecurity, and you spoke so much
life into me, and I remember when you were even, like,

(24:10):
I see you on the Today Show, da-da-da-da-da-da-da. before I
was even like speaking those things out loud.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
And I was like, yeah, well, I don't know. We'll see.
We'll see.

Speaker 6 (24:16):
I was just on the Today Show yesterday, right?

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (24:20):
And I go out there often to do press and promote,
et cetera. And I was just like, who is this
guy just like, Speaking life into me and, like, seeing
not more for myself. I saw a lot for myself.
But just, like, he was so bold in what.

Speaker 6 (24:35):
He would declare over my future.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
He began downloads from God. What'd you say? He began downloads.
He downloads. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 10 (24:42):
What did, when you, before you knew her, what did,
what came over your spirit where you were like, she
needs that and let me, because that's another thing too,
is like you be needing it.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
But you're not going to ask for it. Yeah, did
you know I needed it or were you just being you?

Speaker 2 (24:53):
No, God just told me to tell you these things.

Speaker 9 (24:55):
Literally, I would just see her and I saw the
light and God would tell me to tell her.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
You saw the light.

Speaker 5 (25:00):
So much, like I can't even say how much. It
was a really, I was struggling a lot with like,
who am I? Because again, my identity was so wrapped
up in my career at the time and it wasn't
doing what I wanted it to do.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
And then here comes this dude who's.

Speaker 6 (25:12):
Like crushing it, right?

Speaker 5 (25:13):
He's like top of his game, incredible. Everyone knows him,
loves him, he's so impressive. And he's like looking at
little of me.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Everybody loves him.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
Most people love him. A select few love him.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
My first talk show, Zuri, was my co-host.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah, Uncommon Sense.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
The pilot for Uncommon Sense.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
She did the pilot, the first episode, and then she
left us to go to.

Speaker 5 (25:32):
You know what I did stick around for? I remember
when Drake sent you those bottles of champagne. You gave
us all the champagne bottles, and I took the Metro
home to Harlem, and I was on the train with
my champagne bottle, and it was.

Speaker 6 (25:45):
Just giving high, low, high, low, because they were like,
how she got it? Was it Ace's face?

Speaker 1 (25:48):
But she on the train.

Speaker 7 (25:49):
Whatever it was.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
It was about Dom, huh?

Speaker 7 (25:51):
It was about Dom.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yeah, maybe it was Dom.

Speaker 7 (25:53):
But he gave you the bottles you gave him away?

Speaker 3 (25:55):
I did.

Speaker 5 (25:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Zoria bottle.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
But she was leaving.

Speaker 8 (25:57):
Did you keep the bottle?

Speaker 3 (25:59):
Zoria, did you keep the bottle? There you go. I
kept it.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
I don't know where I popped that.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
You don't got the bottle.

Speaker 6 (26:06):
Congratulations.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
I kept that. I got pictures, but I drank that.

Speaker 7 (26:10):
You drank that one.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Sad when she left. You keep bringing it up.

Speaker 9 (26:12):
Well, Zoria is a phenomenal talent. And you know, for
somebody like me, I need somebody to balance.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (26:18):
That's why I love working with Envy all these years.

Speaker 8 (26:21):
Nice.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
And even y'all now.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
But back then, yes, Dory was going.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
Did you have a shot?

Speaker 3 (26:26):
No, it's Zuri.

Speaker 8 (26:28):
Zuri need to come back up here.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
Like, every day.

Speaker 8 (26:30):
Just bring out the song. Once a week.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
You're nice on camera. On camera.

Speaker 8 (26:36):
Yes, because Leonard is like... You want to talk about
not about sports?

Speaker 1 (26:39):
No, no, no.

Speaker 6 (26:41):
Yes, just watch on YouTube.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Limited series. Very excited about it.

Speaker 10 (26:43):
No, don't do it that way. Let's talk about not
about sports and Plot Twist in this way. Because, like,
with the landscape changing, right?

Speaker 1 (26:49):
And what you do. Daytime TV, talk shows.

Speaker 5 (26:53):
You.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
a while ago was like, I'm going to start being
an entrepreneur. I'm going to get online. I'm going to
tell people what I got going on. I'm going to
do my own thing.

Speaker 10 (27:01):
Talk about the decision to do that because you've always,
I always knew you because you traditionally, you were the
girl with the job when it came to the red
carpets and networks. And that's hard for black women, especially
brown skin girls. But you were like, I don't want
to do that anymore, even though it's going so well.

Speaker 5 (27:13):
Why? It wasn't that I just didn't want to do
it anymore. I just wanted to do more. I knew, like,
I've come here.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
I'm doing this. I'm still doing that.

Speaker 6 (27:22):
For the record.

Speaker 5 (27:24):
But I wanted new challenges and I wanted ownership and
I wanted IP. And it's like at a certain point,
you just working for someone else's vision.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
Right.

Speaker 6 (27:35):
And building someone else's vision.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
It's beautiful.

Speaker 5 (27:37):
It's rewarding to be a part of something bigger than yourself.
But at a certain point, you start asking, like, what
big thing can I build to that I can bring
people into that they look forward to participating in.

Speaker 6 (27:47):
And hopefully that puts them on and that moves the
needle with them.

Speaker 5 (27:50):
Like not about sports has been such a blessing because
I was able to hire people who I knew were
incredible talents, people that I've worked with producers behind the scenes.
And it's like, no, you deserve to be working and employed.
And it got really hard for a lot of us.
And so to be able to give those.

Speaker 6 (28:06):
Opportunities in the way that they were given to me.

Speaker 5 (28:09):
Like that to me has been the biggest blessing. And
then at the end of the day, I want to
be able to say yes to something because I want
to say yes, not because I got.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
To pay my mortgage that much.

Speaker 5 (28:18):
So the power that comes with building, I think is exciting.
I'm still learning, you know, like we're still on that road,
but I'm excited to keep building and we'll see what happens.

Speaker 4 (28:30):
Is it hard to date in your role because you're
such a boss and you're so strong, you're so powerful?

Speaker 7 (28:34):
Is it hard to date somebody that understands.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
All of that? You need someone.

Speaker 8 (28:39):
A little stronger. Like, do guys find you intimidating because
of your, you know?

Speaker 5 (28:46):
So, yes, and it can be hard to date. I
think traditionally I have intimidated men more than they care
to admit in the moment. But I will also say,
as I focus on what I can control, which is me,
I think it takes a lot of masculine energy to
navigate worlds like this. And I say this with love, respect,

(29:07):
appreciation and acceptance of masculine and feminine energies.

Speaker 6 (29:10):
Like it's all necessary.

Speaker 5 (29:13):
And so I think for a long time, because my
identity was so caught up in the work stuff, I
thought like. the same qualities, traits, and energy that got
me the job were going to be impressive in relationship.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
Like, oh, look how little I need you.

Speaker 6 (29:29):
Look how I can do bad all by myself.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Like, I thought it was, oh, look, I'm choosing to
be with you. I don't need to be with you.

Speaker 5 (29:36):
And I realized over time that that for a lot
of men, it was a turnoff.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Sometimes it was from a place of insecurity.

Speaker 5 (29:44):
I have dated some very successful insecure men, situationships only.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
But it was more of like, well, if you don't
need me, like any, I.

Speaker 5 (29:53):
Think, healthfully masculine man takes pride in being needed to
a certain extent. It takes pride in being able to
show up for you and provide. And I'm not just
talking financially. I'm especially not talking financially because I didn't
need that, but emotionally.

Speaker 1 (30:07):
Providing and like, I want to be needed by you. Right.
And so I was vice versa, too. One thousand percent.

Speaker 6 (30:13):
It's like an exchange.

Speaker 5 (30:14):
So I think I was energetically sometimes even pushing away
the very thing that I said I wanted without knowing
it because it took a different skill set.

Speaker 6 (30:23):
So like the last few years, I've really worked on embracing.

Speaker 5 (30:27):
Like, what does it feel like to be soft and
to receive?

Speaker 6 (30:30):
Like I'm learning to receive.

Speaker 7 (30:33):
I hate that, but I understand.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Why do you hate it? What do you hate?

Speaker 7 (30:38):
To me, it feels like almost a dimming of light.
You are who you are regardless, right? You are who
you are. You're powerful. You're strong.

Speaker 4 (30:45):
And if men are insecure and don't understand that, that
would be their loss.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
Right.

Speaker 7 (30:50):
I shouldn't have to say... I have to get in
my feminine era.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
Hey, not that.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Like, y'all niggas need to grow the fuck up. Okay.

Speaker 8 (31:07):
Sometimes it takes the right gentleman to bring that soft era.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
Perfect example. Chris. Hello. Right. Exactly.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Hardworking Mexican man.

Speaker 3 (31:14):
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Use the toughness.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yo, please relax.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
So you should have been a Mexican man.

Speaker 8 (31:23):
No, she should not.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
No.

Speaker 8 (31:25):
My thing is, I was so hard up. My exterior
was just so hard. I'm always on guard. And then
I met a man that disarms me. Totally. Like, and
just with his presence.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
No insecurity. No insecurity.

Speaker 8 (31:35):
He don't care.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Like, nothing.

Speaker 4 (31:36):
Does not give a fuck that you're Jess Hilarious, the comedian.

Speaker 7 (31:39):
He loves Jess Hilarious, who you are as a person.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
Exactly.

Speaker 8 (31:41):
And I couldn't get away with half the shit that
I would do with other people with. with him, you
know what I mean? So sometimes it takes a certain
individual to pull.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
That out of you.

Speaker 6 (31:51):
So what did that look like?

Speaker 5 (31:55):
In the early stages, were you fighting against it?

Speaker 1 (31:57):
Were you still very much walls up?

Speaker 3 (31:59):
I don't need this.

Speaker 8 (32:00):
I was fighting against it because it was foreign to me.
It was so unfamiliar.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
I did not know.

Speaker 8 (32:04):
I'm like, the fuck you think you are?

Speaker 5 (32:05):
Right.

Speaker 8 (32:06):
And he's like, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
It's not who I think.

Speaker 8 (32:08):
It's who I am. I'm who I know I am.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
You know what I mean? That's right.

Speaker 8 (32:12):
I received this.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Yo, you're the.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
Person at church that needs to shut up.

Speaker 3 (32:16):
I don't even have a shot.

Speaker 8 (32:17):
Yeah, you messing up, yo.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
We are here.

Speaker 7 (32:19):
That's right, Chris.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Jess was almost at communion on Sunday. And here you come.

Speaker 8 (32:25):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
So in the beginning of it, though, because it wasn't
that easy.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Was it?

Speaker 1 (32:28):
I mean, maybe it was. It was that easy for
you to just be like, okay, feminine. Because No, it
took months.

Speaker 8 (32:34):
It took like five months.

Speaker 6 (32:35):
And he was just consistent still.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Consistent still. I love that.

Speaker 8 (32:39):
Not even, you know.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
I love that.

Speaker 8 (32:41):
One time, right, we got into an argument and I
got a little spicy, you know. And he was like,
he was like, yeah, all right, well, look, I'm, yeah,
I'm done. Because I don't know, I don't.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Know what the fuck you think this is. Isn't there
something kind of attractive about that?

Speaker 6 (32:54):
Yes, and I was like, no, don't go.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
Like, where are you going?

Speaker 8 (32:58):
Girl, like, don't go.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
A couple times it happened to me. I was like, wait,
I'm sorry, and we can figure this out.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
Exactly.

Speaker 8 (33:03):
And I was like, and since then, I have never
argued with him like that again because he was dead serious.
I thought it was sexy and everything, but like, She.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
Was about to be out of there. And I'm like, no, stop.

Speaker 8 (33:16):
You know, I'm pumped up right now.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
Shut up. Like, for real. That's what's up. I'm happy
to hear this. What is this? I'm just happy to
hear this. You know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Chris is like, I ain't even got to be here, okay?

Speaker 3 (33:30):
I'm not even documented.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
I ain't even.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (33:33):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Wow.

Speaker 8 (33:34):
Anyway, I'm right.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
I'm right.

Speaker 8 (33:40):
I just processed that. So a black Mexican. Okay.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
So he is here.

Speaker 8 (33:44):
He's here legally.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
That means he mixed.

Speaker 8 (33:46):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
He not a Mexican and ag black. He's mixed.

Speaker 8 (33:50):
Right.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
But you know what's.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Interesting about that, though?

Speaker 9 (33:52):
You can look at certain men and see them with
a woman and realize that woman feels safe.

Speaker 5 (33:57):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
And I think that's the most important thing for a
man to recognize.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
I agree.

Speaker 5 (34:03):
We're... Are those men? Genuinely asking. Not in a resentful way.

Speaker 8 (34:09):
You ain't never go back home to Toledo to try
to see where they at?

Speaker 1 (34:11):
I go to Toledo often.

Speaker 5 (34:15):
Where are those people?

Speaker 10 (34:18):
I think you got to meet somebody at a certain,
like you meet somebody and you know that they're at
a certain point of things, life, thought, conversation. Like when
you met Chris, and certain conversations happen, you was like, yeah,
I'm not about to get off on this one. Like
the same, like you, you know, like you, it's that.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
Type of thing. Chris wasn't having it though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
They will give it.

Speaker 9 (34:40):
But it ain't even just about Chris, it's about them together.
I can see them together and be like, they're safe
for each other.

Speaker 7 (34:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (34:45):

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 10 (34:47):
Definitely when I see you with Chris, when we went
to the Kendrick Lamar concert, that's my first time I
saw y'all together. And I was like, you, it was like, oh,
she's a wife. Like, but, but seeing you by yourself
is like just with the mess.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Or Jess Hilarious.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
Wow. But when you're with him, it is a bit different.

Speaker 8 (35:02):
It is different.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
It is different. Because I'm Jessica Roberts Oliver with my husband.
But I'm Jess Hilarious. But Zuri, I love that.

Speaker 10 (35:09):
I think for like when you're working through figuring that
out or like, are you dating right now?

Speaker 1 (35:13):
You have somebody you like serious about?

Speaker 2 (35:14):
I am.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
Single again. I'm newly-ish single.

Speaker 8 (35:18):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 6 (35:19):
Been a little while.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Does he know?

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Does he know? It just happened 10 minutes ago. He
may not know. I can't make an announcement. I'm going to.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Say I know. All parties are aware.

Speaker 5 (35:33):
I am single and I am mixing and mingling and
I'm being really intentional about it because I do, I.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
Look forward to being a wife. I look forward to
being a mother.

Speaker 5 (35:42):
I look forward to to applying my ambition to those roles.
What does it look like to be a good partner?
What does it look like to raise beautiful, well-adjusted children?
And so I think that does make it a little
harder just because also when you're in L.A.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
And it's just, you know. Girl, them in L.A.? Well, wait,
is it white or black men? Where you at?

Speaker 3 (36:02):
All men.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Okay, because I know genuinely all men.

Speaker 3 (36:05):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
And I have.

Speaker 10 (36:07):
Because the black men, they don't be in L.A. They
don't normally be focused on us.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (36:11):
What are you focused on?

Speaker 1 (36:12):
I was out there. Everybody but black women.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
People your color, boy.

Speaker 10 (36:15):
And if they are black, they look like you where
it's like ambiguous or we don't know.

Speaker 1 (36:19):
You could be anything.

Speaker 10 (36:20):
I mean, maybe it's changed since I left, but when
I was there for like the year and a half
I was single, I was like, oh, y'all can have these, man.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (36:27):
It's a very specific type that.

Speaker 5 (36:30):
a lot of men are looking for out there and
also it's just a candy store like if you're a
dude who could settle down or could be outside for
a little bit longer and you're in LA where everyone
is gorgeous and you've got your pick of the litter
everywhere you turn yeah like it's just so hard to
convince a guy right I would never convince a guy
of anything but to like settle down like they're out

(36:50):
there they're mixing and mingling yeah like any guy I've
dated has never been like an industry like person dude
yeah like L.A. scene they might live in the city
but they're from somewhere else like I'm a very midwestern
southern sensibilities kind of person love that so I just
like what feels like home but at this point though
regardless of where you meet a man at you're gonna
meet a man that will probably come with a certain

(37:11):
sense of like he's done certain things or whatever so
there's gonna be women all the time but I think
The person, when you get to that point of what
you're talking about, they'll make you feel like it's just you.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
You don't have to even, that's not a question. It'll
just be like, we're in our own world type of thing.

Speaker 7 (37:25):
Do you have a list? Because I know some women
have a list, right?

Speaker 1 (37:28):
I have ideas about what you.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
What are your ideas?

Speaker 7 (37:32):
I'm just curious.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
He must look like Thor.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
No, we must not.

Speaker 5 (37:36):
We are not about to do that.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
Don't take the bait.

Speaker 1 (37:42):

Speaker 8 (37:44):

Speaker 1 (37:47):
You on my nerves. I'm begging you not to take
his bait.

Speaker 7 (37:50):
Because my assistant has a list and I hate her list.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
I'm like, Ben's got a list. Please shut up, Charlamagne.
You can't have a size 12 min min. She doesn't
have a size 12 min.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
No, he saying she wear that and she shouldn't have
a list.

Speaker 7 (38:03):
She don't wear a size 12.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
So what is your list?

Speaker 3 (38:05):
And the reason I hate lists is.

Speaker 7 (38:06):
Because she's six foot.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
Three.

Speaker 8 (38:09):
Six foot one, six foot next.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Easily.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
Why don't you say three like that? But three, beautiful.
But her list is like, she wants somebody taller.

Speaker 4 (38:18):
And I'm like, maybe you shouldn't be looking for tall
because the short person could be somebody that treats you
the right way. But she's so, if you're short, you're
out of this question.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
But you know what though?

Speaker 1 (38:27):
This is what tall, you don't know what the short
struggle like.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Show me.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Oh my God.

Speaker 8 (38:31):
And she wants somebody to pick her up.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
That's it.

Speaker 6 (38:33):
There's something about being picked up.

Speaker 5 (38:35):
And also, men, y'all get to be so highly specific
about what you want visually.

Speaker 6 (38:40):
I have guys who are like, oh, hook me up
with so-and-so, hook me up with whatever. And they are particular.
Sometimes too particular.

Speaker 5 (38:45):
More particular than their aesthetic may deserve or justify.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
So what is your list? My list has nothing to
do with physicality. You've got to be taller than me.
I will admit that.

Speaker 6 (38:57):
A six foot or above would be ideal.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
I'm 5'7.

Speaker 6 (38:59):
But it's not physical. I want someone emotionally available.

Speaker 5 (39:03):
It's a deal breaker for me if you're not in
therapy and has been for years. So I've had men
get into therapy because they were interested in dating me.
I want a man of God, a man of faith.
Like I take my spiritual practice really seriously and I
want someone who can pursue God with me. And I
really believe that when it's just two people trying to

(39:24):
figure it out, sometimes it becomes impossible.

Speaker 6 (39:27):
But when you've agreed on a, an outside partner.

Speaker 5 (39:30):
For me, like my biblical faith and like what that
says about love in the purest of ways, we have
something outside of ourselves to point to a North Star
to guide how we build our relationship, how we love,
how we parent. I want someone who is successful enough
to not be intimidated by what I've got going on

(39:50):
because I've dated both sides of the spectrum. I haven't
cared either way because, again, I didn't need someone to
cover my bills. But then that very openness to someone
who wasn't maybe where I was, at first they were
attracted to it. And then eventually they started trying to
dim my light because they couldn't stand in that shadow.

Speaker 10 (40:08):
So can you talk about that middle point of like
you don't date, like you're not dating people that, how
do I put it?

Speaker 3 (40:16):
Okay.

Speaker 10 (40:17):
You don't want to date people that you know it'll become,
like if you're doing more, if you're making more money, right?

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (40:23):
You said it's been hard dating people that aren't doing that.
But then you meet people that maybe can match you
or are more successful and there's a lot of.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
Ego and insecurity and stuff.

Speaker 10 (40:31):
Like what's the middle point exactly that you're looking for
and have you been able to verbalize that as a woman?

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Because it is tough to find, understand, and work through. Mm-hmm. Ooh, Lauren,
I love you.

Speaker 6 (40:43):
Questions the questions are good I.

Speaker 5 (40:46):
I don't know that I've reached a middle point I
I'm still figuring it out you know like I've tried
one end of the spectrum and it was like okay
it was cute for three months and they love your
house I remember one time a guy I was dating
him for maybe a month and a half whatever it
was early situation and he walked into my house for
the first time I don't know if he dropped me
off or whatever he ended up in my house and

(41:07):
he was gonna be leaving pretty quickly but he was
in there And when he looked around, something in him shifted.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
It changed.

Speaker 5 (41:15):
He was impressed, and he was also, I could see
him visually shutting down or pulling back.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
So that was the broken that is back here.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
That was the broken. He was like, I can't afford this.

Speaker 6 (41:26):
The craziest part, I mean, he was doing well for himself.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
He was an actor. He was cool.

Speaker 6 (41:32):
But it was like, oh, this is how you're living?

Speaker 5 (41:34):
I had another guy who I was dating for a
few months. quote unquote, man of God, all stuff. I
was like, okay, this is going to really work. And
one day, I guess he Googled my net worth. He
just out of nowhere was like, I think your net
worth is higher than mine.

Speaker 8 (41:47):
I'm like, no, I know.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Wow, yo.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
But it was weird.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
It was weird. And I'm like, how do you know?
That man was crying.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
You're doing well.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Those things be lying. Don't Google our net worth. They
be lying.

Speaker 5 (42:01):
But he was like, oh, I Googled your net worth
and I just feel like you're worth more than me.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
And I was like, cool. How do you know that?

Speaker 5 (42:06):
Oh, well, I looked at your house and how much
that's worth.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
Boom.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
And it was bizarre that he was mad about that.
He didn't get mad.

Speaker 6 (42:12):
I think deep down he got insecure about it.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Right.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
And this is somebody who I thought, OK, he's confident.
He is very successful in his space, in the industry.
Like he's crushing it. He's winning awards, all the things.
And the kind of sad part about that was I
wasn't excited about that.

Speaker 6 (42:28):
Because like, oh, I got me a man who did this.
This is this.

Speaker 8 (42:30):
It was funny.

Speaker 5 (42:31):
I think I found somebody who won't be intimidated by me.
I think I found someone who's doing enough that he
won't feel like whatever.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
And boom. And then that.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
He wanted you to need him.

Speaker 3 (42:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (42:43):
And he probably was attached to his identity in Hollywood
more than being just secure as a human being.

Speaker 5 (42:50):
Exactly.

Speaker 8 (42:51):
Because she could have needed him in.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
A different way.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
Oh, he's a singer. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
He's industry.

Speaker 8 (42:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Industry.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
Oh, I think I remember that one.

Speaker 1 (42:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (42:59):
But she could have needed him in a different way.
Not financially. She could have needed him in a different way, though.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
No, not financially. So, to Jess's point.

Speaker 5 (43:08):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
Because I do need him.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
Emotionally.

Speaker 10 (43:10):
But I think a lot of times it's hard for
men to... Unless in a certain space. When did y'all
get to the point and what did it take for
y'all to get to the point where you understood that...
Even if your wives are doing well or able to
do things better.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
Lawrence, I met my wife at 16.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
Exactly.

Speaker 9 (43:27):
It doesn't matter, but y'all grew up together.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
We grew up together.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
Gia was making more than me at one point. Me too.
My wife was making more than me.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
A hundred percent. So the roles had to change.

Speaker 10 (43:37):
So at one point, you had to understand that even
if she's doing that, she still needs you as a man, right?

Speaker 7 (43:41):
Yeah, but this is the difference, right? She already had
us as men. Yeah, like there is no mine and
hers in my house.

Speaker 4 (43:47):
It's like my wife, it's not like this is my
account and I got to give you an allowance.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
I'm not talking about physical things.

Speaker 10 (43:52):
I'm talking about what she's talking about is it's like
men have this thing where if you are like a
strong woman that might be independent and have been by yourself,
if you don't know how to like mentally and not
financially appeal.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Like, oh my God, I need you. Come save my life.
Come fix my tire. They don't know how to comprehend that.

Speaker 7 (44:11):
They don't know how to- It's different, right?

Speaker 8 (44:13):
It's different.

Speaker 4 (44:14):
You got to think, Gia is my friend, right? We weren't,
it wasn't based off of money. Like we were high
school sweethearts. We were friends.

Speaker 7 (44:23):
So anything now is just bonus.

Speaker 4 (44:24):
Like, everything else so when it comes to our life
it's like we really plan it out like for instance
gear had the better job than i did right we
got she got pregnant she decided look i don't want
a nanny raising our child i don't want to do
it i'll do this and then we'll see what happens
and then my career took off but it's still the
same there is no mine and hers it's the household

(44:45):
like Gia can go and.

Speaker 7 (44:47):
Do what she wants to do.

Speaker 4 (44:47):
That's why, you know, my wife just went on a
17-day girl's trip, right, with her girls.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
17 days. I love that.

Speaker 4 (44:52):
And people are like, oh, my gosh, you let your wife?

Speaker 3 (44:55):
I'm like, let?

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
My wife was like, babe, I want to do this
with the girls.

Speaker 3 (44:59):
I'm like, all right, I'll hold it for her.

Speaker 7 (45:00):
And I got six kids. I'll hold the fort down.

Speaker 10 (45:02):
It's because some people, the mentality shift doesn't happen for them.
And that's what I'm asking you guys more so about.
It's like, you guys have a really great mentality in
your households. And a lot of people, I see married
people saying, Now that I'll be like, yeah, I don't
want that type of marriage.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
It's the, you let.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
Nah, there's no you let in my house.

Speaker 7 (45:19):
She lets me go out.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
I like that.

Speaker 10 (45:21):
I was wondering what got you guys to that. I mean,
y'all grew up with your wives, basically.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 9 (45:25):
I think it's different because of that. I don't know
anything else. I don't know my life without her.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
Like, I just don't. Oh, that's so sweet.

Speaker 6 (45:33):
That's so nice of you.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
This is beautiful.

Speaker 3 (45:37):
Anyway.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
I think it's this.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
Do you still think you're a people pleaser?

Speaker 1 (45:41):
I heard you say you were a recovering people pleaser. Yeah,
recovering people pleaser.

Speaker 8 (45:45):
No, not as much.

Speaker 5 (45:45):
Not at my own detriment. Not if it costs me
more than I'm willing to offer up or give. No,
I'll say no and let you sit in that discomfort.
Let myself sit in the discomfort sometimes, too. But, yeah, traditionally,
I was someone who very much wanted to make people
feel good and happy and accommodate, et cetera.

Speaker 9 (46:01):
But, That's interesting because people-pleasing can look like kindness from
the outside. When did you realize there was a difference
between genuinely being kind and needing people to be pleased
with you?

Speaker 5 (46:13):
When it was causing me pain, harm, discomfort emotionally.

Speaker 6 (46:18):
And I was still doing it.

Speaker 5 (46:19):
It was, you know, and I was on a podcast
recently and we talked about this. Like people pleasing in
a certain way can be like a form of unintentional
even manipulation. It's like I'm doing something to get something right.
So it's not malicious, but it's still like you're it's
not giving just to give. And so when I realized that,
you know, like I thought, no, I'm just trying to

(46:40):
be nice and I'm trying to connect dots and I'm
trying to make you happy or whatever.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
But it's like, oh, no, deep down underneath.

Speaker 6 (46:47):
Like I also want you to like me, accept me,
choose me, whatever.

Speaker 5 (46:52):
And so it is still an exchange, even if it's subconscious.
So now I really try to focus on giving freely.
And if I never got a thing back from this
was giving it enough. And as a giver, as someone
who enjoys that, like I accept and appreciate that like
the giving was the gift for me and that's it.
So I give now and I show up and I

(47:12):
connect dots when it will just feel good to, To
do it. Because it was the right thing to do
or a nice thing to do. But if there's something
underneath that I'm trying to get, like, I try to
check myself now.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
I can see that your boundaries have gotten clearer.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
Very much so.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Has that made your standards higher? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 6 (47:29):
Yeah, but I'm worried they're going to get too high
and I'm going to die alone.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
I'm joking. It's dark, dark humor.

Speaker 10 (47:37):
A lot of people feel like that. Like the girls
who have the standards and are doing the thing.

Speaker 6 (47:41):
Look, I believe that he's coming.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
Whoever it is, is coming.

Speaker 5 (47:45):
I joke about, oh my God, like I hate it here, whatever.
But the truth is like, I'm good at being single.
I love getting to know new people. I mix, I mingle.
My standards are high. I hope someone can meet them.
I also feel like I can give what I'm asking.
It's not unreasonable.

Speaker 6 (48:02):
And I want to be married.

Speaker 5 (48:03):
I want to have kids and I'm excited, but I
don't want it so badly that I'm willing to compromise
on the important stuff. Right. And I think that allows
you to date from a place of power and a
place of peace because I potentially want you, but I
don't need you in the way of marriage.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Like, I'll settle for whatever.

Speaker 8 (48:21):
And so when Envy asked you your list and you
told us, listen, listening to your list, that's so realistic
and it's so possible.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
Except for the tall part.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Thank you, Jess.

Speaker 8 (48:29):
Six foot is not even that tall.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
That is not.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
That's the minimum.

Speaker 8 (48:34):
Those were literally my manifestations.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
And I am married.

Speaker 8 (48:38):
To be my king right now that has all of
those qualities. It is so not impossible.

Speaker 6 (48:43):
Did you know before you met him, did you have
the list?

Speaker 1 (48:47):
And you were like, well, I'll be damned. He's here.

Speaker 8 (48:49):
Girl, absolutely I had the list. I just didn't ask
for him to be maxed.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
Again, so shut up. You said hard work.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
You said hard work. That's not a list. It's not.
You did. She said hard work.

Speaker 8 (49:00):
I did have a list, Lauren, because after dating this
person and this person and this person, I'm realizing like, yo,
what the hell? I'm learning something about myself in every relationship.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
Okay, I get what you're saying.

Speaker 8 (49:08):
And I'm also learning what I don't like and what
I don't want to tolerate in the next relationship. So
that actually prompted me to make a list. Like, you
know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Oh, you really sat and wrote a list? No, no, no.

Speaker 8 (49:19):
I just, again, ideas like that. But I knew I
wanted somebody emotionally available. Somebody, you know, and then also,
this is what I particularly wanted, right? Because dating, growing
up in Baltimore, you date what you are taught to
see from an early age. You know what I mean?
Street dudes, right?

Speaker 1 (49:35):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 (49:36):
I wanted someone who.
Loved me, who I felt like loved me, even when
he was mad at me. If you can love me
through an argument, you don't gotta say, shut the fuck up, baby.
Or like, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 (49:50):
I love you. Or you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 8 (49:51):
I love you, bitch. You know what I'm saying? You
don't have to say that. But it's like, you know,
you still feel, because some arguments can hit so hard
where it's like, you can't come back from that.

Speaker 3 (50:01):
Right.

Speaker 8 (50:03):
And I argue, I used to argue like that, hit
below the belt. If he says something crazy, I got
to say something crazier. I don't care what it is,
who it's about. If I done hurt, I could make
something up and hurt your feelings.

Speaker 1 (50:14):

Speaker 8 (50:15):
I don't know where that came from. But if you
could argue with me and I still feel like I
love you and you love me, that's great.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
That's beautiful. You know what I mean?

Speaker 8 (50:25):
And so when he came along disarming me and shit,
I'm like. I was fighting it for a while, but
after a while, I'm like, this is what you ask
for with dumb ass. Get it together.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Before it goes.

Speaker 8 (50:33):
And then when he threatened me to go, I was like, all.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Right, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (50:35):
I want to be soft.

Speaker 8 (50:36):
I want to be soft.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
I love you.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 (50:38):
No, I really appreciate that. And I think similar, right?

Speaker 5 (50:41):
I think when you've grown up, especially as like for me,
the oldest, but it's just you feel like you're on
your own. You've got to do it yourself. You've got
to be in self-protection mode. And yeah, like my mouth
could be a blessing and a curse. Like the very
thing that got me where it's gotten me and work,
like I could either use it for good or I
could use it for bad. And I had to get
really intentional about only using it for good. And I

(51:03):
think in relationship, it brings out the best and the
worst in us. But it's such a beautiful practice. Like
love is such a beautiful practice.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
If two people are committed to it.

Speaker 5 (51:13):
Because I hear you saying that this man was like,
Kind of putting you in.

Speaker 8 (51:19):
Your place in a good way and letting you know
what it was.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Going to be and what it wasn't.

Speaker 5 (51:23):
But the fact that he chose to stay and work
through it with you and you chose to stay and
work through it with him, I think that is the dream, right?
Like the fact that you had a slick mouth, was
going to say what you had to say before, and
suddenly you're not because you've met a man who's willing
to work.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
My man, my man, my man.

Speaker 8 (51:39):
Shut up.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
And work with me. I'm with you.

Speaker 8 (51:42):
Stop playing with me. Because that was the first time
my pride did not get in the way. Because I
usually be like, go the fuck in.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
But you changed, though.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
You changed a lot, though.

Speaker 7 (51:49):
And I've seen Chris.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
Are you stopping me?

Speaker 7 (51:51):
You being with Chris.

Speaker 4 (51:51):
Made you change a lot. It made you think outside
the box. You don't jump and attack right away. It
made you more of a loving, motherly, nicer person as.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Thank you.

Speaker 6 (52:00):
Were there moments ever when that popped up with him?

Speaker 1 (52:03):
And he, instead of being like, look at you. You
talking crazy. You said whatever.

Speaker 5 (52:06):
Bye. Where he was like, I see what this actually is,
so I'm going to give you an opportunity to course correct?

Speaker 8 (52:13):
No.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
No.

Speaker 8 (52:14):
No.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
Not yet.

Speaker 8 (52:16):
Nah.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
I'm not playing. I told you.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
I told you about this shit.

Speaker 8 (52:20):
Three months ago.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
Okay.

Speaker 8 (52:21):
And it's coming back up.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
I don't like this.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
Okay.

Speaker 8 (52:23):
Because this ain't how I communicate. This is not how
you're supposed to communicate as an adult. But he could
say that, right?

Speaker 3 (52:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (52:28):
The fact that he could articulate that.

Speaker 8 (52:31):
Like, this is not civil.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
Because most people build a wall between. them in there.
You know what? You know what?

Speaker 1 (52:36):
I was just.

Speaker 10 (52:40):
About to be like, that's so beautiful because I feel it,
like I get it.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
And then he said build a wall and you know
that Chris is half Mexican.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
She drunk.

Speaker 8 (52:48):
Yeah, she is. Cut it out.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
It just all hit me and I'm like, that's so
messed up. I wasn't even talking about that.

Speaker 8 (52:53):
Your man too though?

Speaker 3 (52:54):
Yeah. Wait, no, no.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Cause y'all done.

Speaker 6 (53:02):
Tell us more, Lauren.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
How do you feel?

Speaker 6 (53:08):
How do you relate to that?

Speaker 5 (53:09):
I love hearing about this healthy love.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
It doesn't matter. You learn a lot in relationships. I
learned so much in the.

Speaker 10 (53:19):
Relationship I'm in right now that I'm like, I don't,
it's certain things even about myself that I'm learning that
I'm like, I don't want to carry this into my marriage.
I don't want my kids to grow up watching this
as this is what mommy does, this is what daddy does, whatever.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
A hundred percent.

Speaker 10 (53:32):
And I think this is the first time where I've
ever even gave a fuck, to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
And the other time, it's like, I mean, sure.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Don't give a fuck to not stop drinking.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
You be like, bye. Any other time.

Speaker 8 (53:43):
Why does she have to say that? This nigga said
stop drinking. She is not an alcoholic no more.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
I don't believe that.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Not no more.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
What? Lauren, I was not an alcoholic.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
They were both alcoholics.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
You about to cry right now.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
No, I'm not.

Speaker 10 (53:56):
When you're sitting here with Charlamagne every single day, you
just got to get through it.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
You got to get through it.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
She would have drank that bottle for Charlamagne if she
had stayed.

Speaker 8 (54:05):
I promise you.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
We're going to have to end this.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
Interview soon because I hear it. Y'all can't hear it
getting dumber and dumber.

Speaker 8 (54:12):
Dumber and dumber, yo.

Speaker 5 (54:13):
Stop.

Speaker 9 (54:13):
Listen, I just want you to know only 15% of
adult men in the U.S.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Are six feet or taller.

Speaker 7 (54:18):
Yo, shut up, man.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
That's a fact.

Speaker 9 (54:19):
Coming from a short man. 15% of men are six
feet or taller. Only 3% to 4% are 6 feet
2 inches taller. Just over 1% are 6 foot 4 taller.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
So think about how you're shrinking your pool. By the average,
I've been good.

Speaker 6 (54:33):
I've never dated a man under 6 feet, so clearly
they're around.

Speaker 10 (54:37):
When you put your heels on, if you want him
to look a certain height next to you, that is okay.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 8 (54:42):
Don't let a short man give you the stats of
tall men.

Speaker 6 (54:46):
No, and all love to the short kids.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
What about husky men, like morbidly obese men?

Speaker 5 (54:50):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
Just a little wide.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
A man is not fat. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Damn. Y'all
really be playing with.

Speaker 8 (54:57):
Him in here.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
Y'all really be playing with him in here.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
Like, honestly. I just offended you. You did not.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
I said he's not fat.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
I wasn't even talking about that.

Speaker 5 (55:04):
Because you open the floodgates and then you throw the alley-oop.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
Dumb and dumbers, shut up. Family. We are family. Let's
go back to the piece of love. Anyway, Jory.

Speaker 9 (55:16):
I don't want to get you in trouble because both
of y'all, I see both of y'all getting saucy. Listen,
my last question is, if everything you've accomplished so far
was actually just preparation, not the destination.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
Right.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
What do you think you've been preparing for?

Speaker 1 (55:36):
Oh, my God. Wow.

Speaker 6 (55:37):
That is an incredible question. I need to sit with
that one. I don't need, I can't even, I don't.

Speaker 8 (55:42):
Want to pull an answer.

Speaker 5 (55:46):
I don't know. I think it's preparing me for, I
realized I'm at a point in my life, like I've
been talking to a lot of women younger than I am, right?

Speaker 1 (55:54):
About a decade or so younger.

Speaker 5 (55:55):
And I'm realizing the lessons I've been learning, the things
that I'm still learning, some of the things that I'm
angry about, disappointed.

Speaker 6 (56:02):
About, I'm like, oh, it's not for me yet.

Speaker 5 (56:05):
Like I'll apply this lesson in my life eventually or
in my future relationships But when I'm pouring into them
or I'm telling them what I'm learning or what I'm
going through and they're saying, thank you for sharing that.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 (56:15):
Like, I appreciate your transparency, your vulnerability only in the
last couple of weeks.

Speaker 6 (56:20):
I'm like, oh, that's what this is for.

Speaker 5 (56:22):
And so there is a selflessness that I am being taught. Like,
I think that's how God is working.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
On me right now.

Speaker 5 (56:30):
I've always tried to be a giver and I loved
in certain ways, but I've never thought that my pain,
my experiences, my disappointments could be for me. Someone else
like maybe I did go through that.

Speaker 6 (56:42):
Not for me. Maybe that was because I.

Speaker 5 (56:43):
Need to speak life into another woman and it's going
to move the needle there in a significant way. And
that will eventually plant seeds that whatever. And so over time,
I'll look and see, oh, that actually moved the needle
and changed someone's life or lives for the better.

Speaker 6 (56:59):
I never thought about it like that.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
I never thought that my pain could be.

Speaker 6 (57:03):
For someone else's gain. Um, and so I think maybe.

Speaker 5 (57:06):
That is, is it, if there's like a lesson that
I'm supposed to be learning, if there's a, a why
that I'm not aware of, it's like, I'm going through
this stuff, not for me so that at the finish line,
I can be like, I conquered, I won, I got
the gold medal.

Speaker 1 (57:21):
Maybe I'm just going.

Speaker 5 (57:22):
Through it to help somebody else get a gold medal.

Speaker 8 (57:24):
That seems like your purpose, like to help other people,
like your connectivity with other people, teaching them, passing on gems.
Like you said, going through things, you know, giving, giving
the advice or, you know what I mean? Like the
blueprint for someone else to help them.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
Absolutely.

Speaker 8 (57:39):
That seems very purposeful.

Speaker 5 (57:39):
And I've always done that professionally. I was always so
excited to be like, okay, this is what I'm doing.

Speaker 6 (57:44):
This is how you can do it. These are the
dots I can connect. But because again, I never put much,
I never put as much thought or intentionality into the
personal life.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
I just never thought about it.

Speaker 5 (57:54):
And now it's like, I'm going through a lot and
it's mostly like the personal stuff and whatever it is.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
And I'm like, well, what is the why with this? Like,
and you want.

Speaker 5 (58:01):
To say there's like, the guy in the life and
the family at the end.

Speaker 6 (58:05):
And that's the prize. And like, God willing, that's a
part of the journey.

Speaker 5 (58:08):
It's not the prize, but there is something really special
about being like, I'm learning so many lessons.

Speaker 6 (58:13):
Like, that's why I can't wait. I hope I have
a daughter. I want sons.

Speaker 5 (58:17):
Like I'm excited about being a boy mom, but I'm like,
I really hope I have a daughter because there's so
much that I've learned being a woman navigating that I
just want to Pour into a little young.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Babies early.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
Oh, my gosh. Teach her early what you learn late.

Speaker 8 (58:31):
Exactly.

Speaker 6 (58:31):
Teach her early what I learn late.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
That's exactly it. That's what I'm saying. That's literally where
I'm thinking.

Speaker 10 (58:36):
Even outside of a relationship, I'm just like, with my daughters,
especially my daughters, but with my children, there's a lot
of things that my mom taught me very early on.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
But there were a lot of.

Speaker 10 (58:45):
Things that I think she didn't even have the privilege
to figure out for herself before she became a mom.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
The privilege. And I want to lean in on my privilege.

Speaker 10 (58:52):
I want to, as much as I can, before my
babies are on this earth and I'm pouring things into
them that I might not even know I need to
help them heal from.

Speaker 5 (59:00):
Amen.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
And that's where I'm trying to be at. That's it.

Speaker 7 (59:01):
Well, Zuri, you need to come back up on the wall.

Speaker 5 (59:03):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
Please watch Hot Twists.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
Hot Twists is fun. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
Zuri Hall, thank you for joining us. Tell them how
to follow you and stuff.

Speaker 8 (59:10):
Zuri.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Follow me on Instagram, Zuri Hall. What else?

Speaker 6 (59:12):
I've got a sub stack, zurihall.substack.com.

Speaker 5 (59:15):
I've been writing a lot about what I'm... navigating right now,
personal reflections, essays, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
So, yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
I can't wait to see what you do next, Zuri,
because I know it's going to be amazing.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
That's right. Thank you, Char.

Speaker 8 (59:26):
Happy to meet you.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
Bye, Chaz. Thank you, Lauren.

Speaker 7 (59:29):
It's The Breakfast Club.

Speaker 3 (59:30):
Good morning.

Speaker 7 (59:30):
Thank you.

Speaker 8 (59:32):
Hold up.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
Every day I wake up. Wake your ass up. The
Breakfast Club.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Y'all finished or y'all done?

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}INTERVIEW: Zuri Hall On Saying Goodbye To Access Hollywood, Career Journey, Dating Life, Healthy Boundaries + More