July 8, 2026 • 19 mins
Mental health isn't just something to think about in times of crisis—it's something we should prioritize every day.
In this special live episode from Essence Festival 2026, Loren LoRosa sits down with Dr. Mimi, psychiatrist, entrepreneur, Married to Medicine star, and mental health advocate, for an honest conversation about therapy, stress, burnout, boundaries, and protecting your peace.
Together they discuss:
- Why preventative mental health care matters
- How to know when stress is becoming something more
- Finding the right therapist (and why it's okay if the first one isn't the right fit)
- Setting healthy boundaries without guilt
- Breaking the stigma surrounding therapy in the Black community
- Managing anxiety caused by the news and social media
- Practical ways to check in with yourself every day
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FM
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody. You don't know if you don't lie about that. Right, Hey, y'all,
what's up. It's Lauren de Rosa and this is another
episode of the Latest with Lauren Rosa. This is your
Deli dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news and
all of the conversations that shake the room. Baby. So
y'all know that we just had an amazing time at
(00:24):
the Essence Festival down in New Orleans. I got a
chance to host the main stage in the Convention Center.
Shout out to the Essence Festival team, Tianna Taylor and
the Aunties who put it together. That's her production company.
But one of my favorite things that I got a
chance to do was sit down with one of my
favorite reality star girlies, Ms Mimi Sanders, who is on
the cast of Married to Medicine. She's the founder of
(00:46):
a company called Inner Community Health and she talks a
lot about mental health, mental health awareness, autism because she
is a mom of a kid on the spectrum and
just everything preventive but also everything to kind of keep
you feeling good. So we get in a live conversation
on the Essence Festival stage. That made it a very
safe space. So welcome to the safe space. Let's get
into it. Hello, everybody, back again, y'all still doing good
(01:10):
out here, all right, So this one's gonna be a
little different because I'll be with you guys on the
stage a bit longer, having a conversation live here on
the Essence Festival main stage, because this conversation is gonna
be therapy in real life, and we all need to
check in y'all and checked in on y'allselves recently and
maybe okay, here a couple people know I see some
(01:31):
nose at least you honest me either. But today we're
gonna check in sis. So you guys know the column
and now it's live. This is therapy in real life,
brought to life right here on this stage. We're doing
this together. So raise your hand if you feel it.
Raise your hand if you feel like this is a
safe space, a collective space to have conversation. Okay, by
(01:52):
the end of this conversation, my goal is to have
every hand raise and here we're gonna ask that question
to get at the end of this conversation. And I'm
gonna not doing this alone. I'm going to be doing
this with a with an amazing woman who is a
professional in this space. You guys may have seen her
on one of your favorite reality shows. Please welcome to
the stage, Doctor Me Me, Hello, doctor Me, Any seat
(02:18):
you want? Whatever? What's your you gotta side you? Okay?
All right, all right, y'all. So joining me right here
is doctor Me Me, Doctor Mimi, Season eleven, married to
medicine correct Yes, wife and mother are three beautiful babies.
Co owner of a mental health center, which we will
talk about. I know you are a big autism advocate,
(02:40):
stress advocate, uh, postpartum pregnancy advocate as well too, an
author inner beauty, bringing the true beauty out of every woman.
Are you as busy?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yes, very busy.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
You are very busy, but also Tennessee State University grad.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yes, TSU. Are you here Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
State Universe And you went to school for chemistry.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yes, I major in chemistry and then graduated and went
to medical school at Ohio University.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
So talk to us first of all a little bit
about you know, what your day to day is like,
a miss all of those things that we just named,
and how you managed to check in on yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, so well.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
First of all, thank you guys for having me. I
am so excited. I have been to essence as a
small child, and now I am here, and this is
just beautiful.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I love being around just Black.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Not only are you here, you were here, you were
on the main stay.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Well, well the low that ain't got good? No, So
what does my day to day look like? Day to
day looks different, and that is why I embrace pivots. Normally,
I yes, I try my best to have slow mornings,
but that always does not happen. But I always wake
(03:51):
up in a sense of gratitude. I remember just reading
what Oprah did daily, and she said, I journal what
I'm great for fur And so in the morning, I'm
journaling my gratitudes. I am making sure that I am
doing my devotion. I'm just pouring into myself. So I
want to set the tone of my day and I
don't want anything to try to hijack that.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
But then, of course, you got.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
I got kids, I got a whole business, you know,
I got to help the people. I got a husband.
So we just have a lot of hats to wear.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
But I want to make sure I'm wearing it. Well.
I don't want it to wear me out.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I mean, but there are some days that we're being
honest where wearing thin might be a thing for you. Right,
So how do you checking on yourself? You don't even
have the energy to sit in journal or to even
think about gratitude.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
So the question is like where does the energy come? Well,
if you don't have the energy to check in, and
I think that you have to make time just as
you would put your like a to do list, you
have to put yourself on your to do list. And
so we may not it may not look like it
every day the same thing, but you're making sure that
(05:02):
you are putting.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yourself your on the list.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And it can simply be let me just have a
let me just sit down for one moment, have a
cup of coffee, and just make sure that I am okay,
ask me.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
How are you doing Mierica? How are you doing? Me? Me?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
And sometimes it's not oh okay, I'm fine, I'm okay. No,
I feel kind of like not a sary stab, but
I feel convicted why And so just making sure that
I'm checking in just like I would check on a girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Gotcha? At one point, you know when you're checking in
on me, me, and you're asking yourself those questions like
when do you realize that stress has become something that's
not just normal stress and it's something that can be
taken a step further? And what do you do in
that scenario?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Yeah, So I tell my patients that you know yourself
better than anybody else. So if you are even coming
to my office or I'm seeing you online, I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Asking you, who are you? What do you like to do?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And and I want you to be able to sit
down and just really think about that question.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
And so you know when you're not doing well.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
And if you don't necessarily know, like okay, what is
going on, your body's gonna tell you.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yes, if you don't.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Take care of yourself, it's gonna the stress is gonna
come out. So it can come out in any type
of ways. It can come out of high blood pressure.
It can come out as irritability, it can come out
as hey, I'm not really communicating right to my loved ones,
and it just can come out as just anything, vowel problems.
It's gonna come. So I really want well, my goal
(06:36):
in life is to have people to look at their
mental health in a preventative way, just as we go
to the primary care doctor, like make sure that they
are doing the screenings for your mental health. And so
we don't need to always be with a psychiatrist or
a therapist in crisis. We need to be with a
therapist or a psychiatrist like just daily and making sure
(06:59):
we have that particular person and making sure that we
are treating our mental health just as we are doing
our primary or physical health.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
When you say that we should be asking for these
screenings on a daily like how you just check up
on yourself at like a regular doctor's office. What is
it that you ask for? Like if I walk into
a psychiatrist for the first time, or even my primary
care doctor to get a recommendation for a psychiatrist or whatever,
if I've never done this before, what do I say?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
So? Okay, So, if you're going to your primary care doctor,
they are supposed to ask you depression screening questions and
it's called a patient health questionnaire. Sometimes it's just two
questions and sometimes it's like nine questions. They're asking you, Hey,
have you felt depressed in the last two weeks? Have
you really not been able to do your day to
(07:46):
day activities? And that is I'm getting up, I'm making
sure I'm doing my activities a daily living, showering, I'm eating.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Right, how's your appetite?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
How is your sleep?
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Are you sleeping?
Speaker 3 (07:58):
And so, And they're asking you these quest questions and
they are doing that particular type of mental health screening.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
But if they don't do that, you ask for it,
say hey, I haven't been feeling quite normal.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I'm feeling a little off, and they should also ask
you follow up questions. What does that mean for you? Well,
I don't necessarily get to sleep when I want to.
I'm staying up. I got race and thoughts. I can't
get my mind to rest. And they say, okay, well
do you want to see somebody? Absolutely, and so that
(08:30):
also is the hardest step for some of my patients,
even asking that I want to see someone from my
mental health. So also my goal in life is to
break that stigma, like everybody has mental health, good and bad,
and so as especially in our culture, we have to
break that stigma that it is okay to see someone,
(08:51):
It is okay to talk about your emotions, it is
okay to have Jesus and therapy, So it is okay.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
For us on other things going here. Now you just
say she didn't say it. Don't take it to the pool,
take it to the doctor. Some of y'all get a
bag out. That isn't what your grandma will be telling you.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Take it to both.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And so we are I really really enjoy what I'm
doing because when I was, I guess picking my profession,
I really didn't see a lot of us in those
particular areas of mental health. And when you want to
see someone sometimes you want to see someone that you
can relate to, that gets you, that gets your culture,
(09:30):
that can talk to you, uh in you know, in
our way, uh.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Huh, And that really does matter.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I was going to ask, you know, how much does
that matter? Right? Like finding someone? So if I'm a
black woman, do I need to have a black woman
psychiatrist or therapists or from black Like, how does that work?
How do we try the therapist on for size? Like
what's that process?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Like I tell people, therapy is like dating.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
So you may not get the right one the rights
at the at the first time.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
But when you don't get the right one when you're
doing do you try again? You do? But you you
a little scorn. It's a little different.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Well, well no, because if you look at it, all
things are gonna work.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
For your favor.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
And so you get to this particular therapist that may
or psychiatrists that make you're not vibing with, you still
have learned, Okay, this is a communication style that I
may not receive well from. And so when I'm going
to see that other psychiatrist or that or the therapists,
I know exactly what kind of what I'm looking for
more now, And so you're just you're just testing them out,
(10:31):
and you're.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Also you're advocating for yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
My patients sometimes come with a list of what they
want to work with and I said, thank you, give
it to me because I need to know. And so
we're just making sure that we're vibing someone that you
relate to, because you also have to be very vulnerable.
These first initial sessions are hard. It's like the bribing
a womb. We gotta get up in there and that hurts.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
It sounds like what you're talking about is like when
cause we talk about dating. There's dating and there's dating with intention, yes,
and it sounds like someone Eventually you get to that
pointy a therapist's journey where you're trying to find a
therapist or the right psychiatrist, right, and your intention starts
to develop because you understand what.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
You want of you don't want absolutely what I'm hearing.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Okay, absolutely got you. Now I have a question about intention, right,
because we all have family, we all have friends, and
we love them dealing, but how can we support the
people around us without taking on their emotional loads?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
You be honest, you tell them, hey, well, you learn
how to communicate honestly, so you tell them.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Where you are. And you don't have to tell everybody
your business.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
But if you know you're at a place or don't
have the capacity to take that on, to take on okay,
what they're going through, you tell them, hey, I hear you.
I want to I appreciate you thinking that I'm a
person that you can come to. However, at this time,
let me direct you to where I think that you
should go. Don't don't have to do all the things
(12:02):
as black women. Sometimes you want to carry everything or
we have just innately been taught that or we've seen that,
so we need to put it down, put the bags down.
We ain't got to carry everybody stuff. Put your stuff down,
and let somebody who is maybe a trained professional and say, hey,
I picked that up because I know how to do it.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I know how to do it and it doesn't weigh
me down.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Ergabadu's Bad Lady hits so different. Yeah, you start to
understand that, and you get to a certain point and
you're tired of you try to figure out your own
heaviness and battling with others as well. That song hit
a little different.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
And we have generational heaviness, yes, And so we have
to understand and that's everybody. We have to understand that
we are carrying a lot of things that.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
We never picked up.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
We just kind of just got it, whether it's from
our moms or from my grandparents, from just society, or
from like a systemic pressures. So really sitting down, and
that's why I'm my advocate for preventive mental help.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
You don't have to be in a crisis.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
But we also know that there are things that we
have that we didn't pick up that we need to process.
So go see someone and say, oh, I'm good right now,
but how can I be better? How can I live
the best quality of life that I deserve?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
What's one thing you know? With all of your experience
that you wish people really understood about mental health and
like taking care of yourself, because I think it's very
trendy right now to have the conversation and you know,
but what's one thing that you're you feel like we're
still missing the mark on that you wish people really understood.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Well.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I touched on it a bit.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
It is about being preventative instead of being reactive.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Just a short story.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
When I was going through my training, you have inpatient
psychiatry and you have outpatient psychiatry. And when I was
in the psychiatric units, I saw a lot of us.
And then when I went to the outpatient psychiatrists doing
my rotations, I didn't see a lot of us.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
And so that kind of just told me we perhaps
are not.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Seeing people until it is too late or were in
a crisis.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
So one thing I want people.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
To take away from this is let's be preventative.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yes, let's make sure that we're.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Checking in on ourselves, and let's making sure that we
have someone, a licensed professional that can help us. We
don't have to do this alone. We're not supposed to
do it alone. We thrive in connectivity. Look at where
we are, Yes, this is connection, This is good, this
is pouring into yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
So kudos.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Let's talk about protecting your peace, right, Yeah, that is
such a that's also a buzz thing right now, like
protecting my piece and safe space. What's one thing that
you think is an easy, like super easy thing that
everybody here today can do to actually protect their peace.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
You say no and set boundaries.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
That's not the easiest thing. Well, it's not.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Well, saying the word no is an easy thing. Enforcing
that boundary of no can be hard, but it starts
with you saying no.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I can't do that right now.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
No, it does.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
It's not an alignment with what I'm going forward right now.
And so just saying no. And that's it's hard because
it can't come from family. It can come from our children,
it can come from work. But you know where you
are mentally in the capacity, and if you cannot take it.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
On, it is okay.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Does not mean that you will never take it on.
It's just not right now, not today. I'm let me
direct you elsewhere. So saying no and enforcing that boundary.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
And what about my last question to you in today's time? Right,
like we turn on the news and you feel from
the top of the segment when the news starts to
the time the news ends. There's such a mix of
emotions for people all over the world today and today's time.
How does things externally like that, like news, media, music,
(16:17):
like how do those things affect your mental health in
ways that people don't even understand.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
It greatly affects our mental health.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I would tell my clients and my patients that we
have to turn the news off.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
We cannot just have it on because it is going
to jump on you.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
The pressures we're in today's society, there are a lot
of just difficult situations and stressors that if you are
a very empathetic person that you're going to take it on. Yes,
And so set some time limits, set some boundaries for yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Hey, I want to know what's going on.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
I want to be informed, but I don't want that
all that information to transform me, right And so saying
no to yourself sat in that boundary or that time
limit and saying I can't, I don't have a capacity.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
To do that right now. And let's let's counteract that.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
So now we're gonna put on something that pours into
us and uplift us. So instead of the news outlet
or maybe I've watched it for ten minutes. I'm gonna
now put on some music that really is uplifting. I'm
now really gonna call that girlfriend that I know that
she pours out because that she has that gifting.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
So you're gonna find things and those are actually coping skills.
So what serves you?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
And we know what don't serve us because we get
that feeling, you know it chess, Yeah, So we know
what doesn't serve us, and so recognize that, but also
recognize what does serve you. So we're gonna sleep, We're
gonna make sure we're sleeping. We're gonna make sure that
we have a great diet, we're gonna make sure that
we're removing our body. We're gonna make sure that we're
(18:01):
in connectivity. And so we're gonna go back to what
we may think, oh, that's kind of simple, but.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
No, those are your core four love.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
You're gonna sleep, you're gonna exercise, you're gonna eat right,
and then we're gonna be We're gonna stay connected.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
The thing that sleep does for you just being able
to think through the rest of your week after you
wake up miracles. Well, doctor Me Me, thank you for
joining me in this conversation. Have you all enjoyed this
conversation now, i'nna ask you the question I asked you
at the beginning. It is did y'all feel like this
was the safe space? Doctor me Me gave y'all some
tests for re vulnerable up here? All right, y'all, this
(18:34):
is Essence Fast twenty twenty six. Doct to me me.
Thank you for all the work that you were doing.
Make sure you guys go out and support her book.
It is the Inner Beauty, bringing true beauty rue bringing
the true beauty out of every woman. Yes, and where
can they purchase?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
They can go online at inner Community dot getting, Innercommunity
health dot com. So I n n e R Community
health dot com and it has all my informations and
also about the practice.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Thank you, guys. But I tell you, guys, every single episode,
y'all could be anywhere with anybody talking about all of
these things and the things, but y'all choose to be
right here with me, my lowriders. I appreciate you. I'll
catch you in my next one.
I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody. You don't know if you don't lie about that. Right, Hey, y'all,
what's up. It's Lauren de Rosa and this is another
episode of the Latest with Lauren Rosa. This is your
Deli dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news and
all of the conversations that shake the room. Baby. So
y'all know that we just had an amazing time at
(00:24):
the Essence Festival down in New Orleans. I got a
chance to host the main stage in the Convention Center.
Shout out to the Essence Festival team, Tianna Taylor and
the Aunties who put it together. That's her production company.
But one of my favorite things that I got a
chance to do was sit down with one of my
favorite reality star girlies, Ms Mimi Sanders, who is on
the cast of Married to Medicine. She's the founder of
(00:46):
a company called Inner Community Health and she talks a
lot about mental health, mental health awareness, autism because she
is a mom of a kid on the spectrum and
just everything preventive but also everything to kind of keep
you feeling good. So we get in a live conversation
on the Essence Festival stage. That made it a very
safe space. So welcome to the safe space. Let's get
into it. Hello, everybody, back again, y'all still doing good
(01:10):
out here, all right, So this one's gonna be a
little different because I'll be with you guys on the
stage a bit longer, having a conversation live here on
the Essence Festival main stage, because this conversation is gonna
be therapy in real life, and we all need to
check in y'all and checked in on y'allselves recently and
maybe okay, here a couple people know I see some
(01:31):
nose at least you honest me either. But today we're
gonna check in sis. So you guys know the column
and now it's live. This is therapy in real life,
brought to life right here on this stage. We're doing
this together. So raise your hand if you feel it.
Raise your hand if you feel like this is a
safe space, a collective space to have conversation. Okay, by
(01:52):
the end of this conversation, my goal is to have
every hand raise and here we're gonna ask that question
to get at the end of this conversation. And I'm
gonna not doing this alone. I'm going to be doing
this with a with an amazing woman who is a
professional in this space. You guys may have seen her
on one of your favorite reality shows. Please welcome to
the stage, Doctor Me Me, Hello, doctor Me, Any seat
(02:18):
you want? Whatever? What's your you gotta side you? Okay?
All right, all right, y'all. So joining me right here
is doctor Me Me, Doctor Mimi, Season eleven, married to
medicine correct Yes, wife and mother are three beautiful babies.
Co owner of a mental health center, which we will
talk about. I know you are a big autism advocate,
(02:40):
stress advocate, uh, postpartum pregnancy advocate as well too, an
author inner beauty, bringing the true beauty out of every woman.
Are you as busy?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yes, very busy.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
You are very busy, but also Tennessee State University grad.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yes, TSU. Are you here Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
State Universe And you went to school for chemistry.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yes, I major in chemistry and then graduated and went
to medical school at Ohio University.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
So talk to us first of all a little bit
about you know, what your day to day is like,
a miss all of those things that we just named,
and how you managed to check in on yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, so well.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
First of all, thank you guys for having me. I
am so excited. I have been to essence as a
small child, and now I am here, and this is
just beautiful.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I love being around just Black.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Not only are you here, you were here, you were
on the main stay.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Well, well the low that ain't got good? No, So
what does my day to day look like? Day to
day looks different, and that is why I embrace pivots. Normally,
I yes, I try my best to have slow mornings,
but that always does not happen. But I always wake
(03:51):
up in a sense of gratitude. I remember just reading
what Oprah did daily, and she said, I journal what
I'm great for fur And so in the morning, I'm
journaling my gratitudes. I am making sure that I am
doing my devotion. I'm just pouring into myself. So I
want to set the tone of my day and I
don't want anything to try to hijack that.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
But then, of course, you got.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
I got kids, I got a whole business, you know,
I got to help the people. I got a husband.
So we just have a lot of hats to wear.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
But I want to make sure I'm wearing it. Well.
I don't want it to wear me out.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I mean, but there are some days that we're being
honest where wearing thin might be a thing for you. Right,
So how do you checking on yourself? You don't even
have the energy to sit in journal or to even
think about gratitude.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
So the question is like where does the energy come? Well,
if you don't have the energy to check in, and
I think that you have to make time just as
you would put your like a to do list, you
have to put yourself on your to do list. And
so we may not it may not look like it
every day the same thing, but you're making sure that
(05:02):
you are putting.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yourself your on the list.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And it can simply be let me just have a
let me just sit down for one moment, have a
cup of coffee, and just make sure that I am okay,
ask me.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
How are you doing Mierica? How are you doing? Me? Me?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
And sometimes it's not oh okay, I'm fine, I'm okay. No,
I feel kind of like not a sary stab, but
I feel convicted why And so just making sure that
I'm checking in just like I would check on a girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Gotcha? At one point, you know when you're checking in
on me, me, and you're asking yourself those questions like
when do you realize that stress has become something that's
not just normal stress and it's something that can be
taken a step further? And what do you do in
that scenario?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Yeah, So I tell my patients that you know yourself
better than anybody else. So if you are even coming
to my office or I'm seeing you online, I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Asking you, who are you? What do you like to do?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And and I want you to be able to sit
down and just really think about that question.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
And so you know when you're not doing well.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
And if you don't necessarily know, like okay, what is
going on, your body's gonna tell you.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yes, if you don't.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Take care of yourself, it's gonna the stress is gonna
come out. So it can come out in any type
of ways. It can come out of high blood pressure.
It can come out as irritability, it can come out
as hey, I'm not really communicating right to my loved ones,
and it just can come out as just anything, vowel problems.
It's gonna come. So I really want well, my goal
(06:36):
in life is to have people to look at their
mental health in a preventative way, just as we go
to the primary care doctor, like make sure that they
are doing the screenings for your mental health. And so
we don't need to always be with a psychiatrist or
a therapist in crisis. We need to be with a
therapist or a psychiatrist like just daily and making sure
(06:59):
we have that particular person and making sure that we
are treating our mental health just as we are doing
our primary or physical health.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
When you say that we should be asking for these
screenings on a daily like how you just check up
on yourself at like a regular doctor's office. What is
it that you ask for? Like if I walk into
a psychiatrist for the first time, or even my primary
care doctor to get a recommendation for a psychiatrist or whatever,
if I've never done this before, what do I say?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
So? Okay, So, if you're going to your primary care doctor,
they are supposed to ask you depression screening questions and
it's called a patient health questionnaire. Sometimes it's just two
questions and sometimes it's like nine questions. They're asking you, Hey,
have you felt depressed in the last two weeks? Have
you really not been able to do your day to
(07:46):
day activities? And that is I'm getting up, I'm making
sure I'm doing my activities a daily living, showering, I'm eating.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Right, how's your appetite?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
How is your sleep?
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Are you sleeping?
Speaker 3 (07:58):
And so, And they're asking you these quest questions and
they are doing that particular type of mental health screening.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
But if they don't do that, you ask for it,
say hey, I haven't been feeling quite normal.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I'm feeling a little off, and they should also ask
you follow up questions. What does that mean for you? Well,
I don't necessarily get to sleep when I want to.
I'm staying up. I got race and thoughts. I can't
get my mind to rest. And they say, okay, well
do you want to see somebody? Absolutely, and so that
(08:30):
also is the hardest step for some of my patients,
even asking that I want to see someone from my
mental health. So also my goal in life is to
break that stigma, like everybody has mental health, good and bad,
and so as especially in our culture, we have to
break that stigma that it is okay to see someone,
(08:51):
It is okay to talk about your emotions, it is
okay to have Jesus and therapy, So it is okay.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
For us on other things going here. Now you just
say she didn't say it. Don't take it to the pool,
take it to the doctor. Some of y'all get a
bag out. That isn't what your grandma will be telling you.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Take it to both.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And so we are I really really enjoy what I'm
doing because when I was, I guess picking my profession,
I really didn't see a lot of us in those
particular areas of mental health. And when you want to
see someone sometimes you want to see someone that you
can relate to, that gets you, that gets your culture,
(09:30):
that can talk to you, uh in you know, in
our way, uh.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Huh, And that really does matter.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I was going to ask, you know, how much does
that matter? Right? Like finding someone? So if I'm a
black woman, do I need to have a black woman
psychiatrist or therapists or from black Like, how does that work?
How do we try the therapist on for size? Like
what's that process?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Like I tell people, therapy is like dating.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
So you may not get the right one the rights
at the at the first time.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
But when you don't get the right one when you're
doing do you try again? You do? But you you
a little scorn. It's a little different.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Well, well no, because if you look at it, all
things are gonna work.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
For your favor.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
And so you get to this particular therapist that may
or psychiatrists that make you're not vibing with, you still
have learned, Okay, this is a communication style that I
may not receive well from. And so when I'm going
to see that other psychiatrist or that or the therapists,
I know exactly what kind of what I'm looking for
more now, And so you're just you're just testing them out,
(10:31):
and you're.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Also you're advocating for yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
My patients sometimes come with a list of what they
want to work with and I said, thank you, give
it to me because I need to know. And so
we're just making sure that we're vibing someone that you
relate to, because you also have to be very vulnerable.
These first initial sessions are hard. It's like the bribing
a womb. We gotta get up in there and that hurts.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
It sounds like what you're talking about is like when
cause we talk about dating. There's dating and there's dating with intention, yes,
and it sounds like someone Eventually you get to that
pointy a therapist's journey where you're trying to find a
therapist or the right psychiatrist, right, and your intention starts
to develop because you understand what.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
You want of you don't want absolutely what I'm hearing.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Okay, absolutely got you. Now I have a question about intention, right,
because we all have family, we all have friends, and
we love them dealing, but how can we support the
people around us without taking on their emotional loads?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
You be honest, you tell them, hey, well, you learn
how to communicate honestly, so you tell them.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Where you are. And you don't have to tell everybody
your business.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
But if you know you're at a place or don't
have the capacity to take that on, to take on okay,
what they're going through, you tell them, hey, I hear you.
I want to I appreciate you thinking that I'm a
person that you can come to. However, at this time,
let me direct you to where I think that you
should go. Don't don't have to do all the things
(12:02):
as black women. Sometimes you want to carry everything or
we have just innately been taught that or we've seen that,
so we need to put it down, put the bags down.
We ain't got to carry everybody stuff. Put your stuff down,
and let somebody who is maybe a trained professional and say, hey,
I picked that up because I know how to do it.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I know how to do it and it doesn't weigh
me down.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Ergabadu's Bad Lady hits so different. Yeah, you start to
understand that, and you get to a certain point and
you're tired of you try to figure out your own
heaviness and battling with others as well. That song hit
a little different.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
And we have generational heaviness, yes, And so we have
to understand and that's everybody. We have to understand that
we are carrying a lot of things that.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
We never picked up.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
We just kind of just got it, whether it's from
our moms or from my grandparents, from just society, or
from like a systemic pressures. So really sitting down, and
that's why I'm my advocate for preventive mental help.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
You don't have to be in a crisis.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
But we also know that there are things that we
have that we didn't pick up that we need to process.
So go see someone and say, oh, I'm good right now,
but how can I be better? How can I live
the best quality of life that I deserve?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
What's one thing you know? With all of your experience
that you wish people really understood about mental health and
like taking care of yourself, because I think it's very
trendy right now to have the conversation and you know,
but what's one thing that you're you feel like we're
still missing the mark on that you wish people really understood.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Well.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I touched on it a bit.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
It is about being preventative instead of being reactive.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Just a short story.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
When I was going through my training, you have inpatient
psychiatry and you have outpatient psychiatry. And when I was
in the psychiatric units, I saw a lot of us.
And then when I went to the outpatient psychiatrists doing
my rotations, I didn't see a lot of us.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
And so that kind of just told me we perhaps
are not.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Seeing people until it is too late or were in
a crisis.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
So one thing I want people.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
To take away from this is let's be preventative.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yes, let's make sure that we're.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Checking in on ourselves, and let's making sure that we
have someone, a licensed professional that can help us. We
don't have to do this alone. We're not supposed to
do it alone. We thrive in connectivity. Look at where
we are, Yes, this is connection, This is good, this
is pouring into yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
So kudos.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Let's talk about protecting your peace, right, Yeah, that is
such a that's also a buzz thing right now, like
protecting my piece and safe space. What's one thing that
you think is an easy, like super easy thing that
everybody here today can do to actually protect their peace.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
You say no and set boundaries.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
That's not the easiest thing. Well, it's not.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Well, saying the word no is an easy thing. Enforcing
that boundary of no can be hard, but it starts
with you saying no.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I can't do that right now.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
No, it does.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
It's not an alignment with what I'm going forward right now.
And so just saying no. And that's it's hard because
it can't come from family. It can come from our children,
it can come from work. But you know where you
are mentally in the capacity, and if you cannot take it.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
On, it is okay.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Does not mean that you will never take it on.
It's just not right now, not today. I'm let me
direct you elsewhere. So saying no and enforcing that boundary.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
And what about my last question to you in today's time? Right,
like we turn on the news and you feel from
the top of the segment when the news starts to
the time the news ends. There's such a mix of
emotions for people all over the world today and today's time.
How does things externally like that, like news, media, music,
(16:17):
like how do those things affect your mental health in
ways that people don't even understand.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
It greatly affects our mental health.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I would tell my clients and my patients that we
have to turn the news off.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
We cannot just have it on because it is going
to jump on you.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
The pressures we're in today's society, there are a lot
of just difficult situations and stressors that if you are
a very empathetic person that you're going to take it on. Yes,
And so set some time limits, set some boundaries for yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Hey, I want to know what's going on.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
I want to be informed, but I don't want that
all that information to transform me, right And so saying
no to yourself sat in that boundary or that time
limit and saying I can't, I don't have a capacity.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
To do that right now. And let's let's counteract that.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
So now we're gonna put on something that pours into
us and uplift us. So instead of the news outlet
or maybe I've watched it for ten minutes. I'm gonna
now put on some music that really is uplifting. I'm
now really gonna call that girlfriend that I know that
she pours out because that she has that gifting.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
So you're gonna find things and those are actually coping skills.
So what serves you?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
And we know what don't serve us because we get
that feeling, you know it chess, Yeah, So we know
what doesn't serve us, and so recognize that, but also
recognize what does serve you. So we're gonna sleep, We're
gonna make sure we're sleeping. We're gonna make sure that
we have a great diet, we're gonna make sure that
we're removing our body. We're gonna make sure that we're
(18:01):
in connectivity. And so we're gonna go back to what
we may think, oh, that's kind of simple, but.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
No, those are your core four love.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
You're gonna sleep, you're gonna exercise, you're gonna eat right,
and then we're gonna be We're gonna stay connected.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
The thing that sleep does for you just being able
to think through the rest of your week after you
wake up miracles. Well, doctor Me Me, thank you for
joining me in this conversation. Have you all enjoyed this
conversation now, i'nna ask you the question I asked you
at the beginning. It is did y'all feel like this
was the safe space? Doctor me Me gave y'all some
tests for re vulnerable up here? All right, y'all, this
(18:34):
is Essence Fast twenty twenty six. Doct to me me.
Thank you for all the work that you were doing.
Make sure you guys go out and support her book.
It is the Inner Beauty, bringing true beauty rue bringing
the true beauty out of every woman. Yes, and where
can they purchase?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
They can go online at inner Community dot getting, Innercommunity
health dot com. So I n n e R Community
health dot com and it has all my informations and
also about the practice.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Thank you, guys. But I tell you, guys, every single episode,
y'all could be anywhere with anybody talking about all of
these things and the things, but y'all choose to be
right here with me, my lowriders. I appreciate you. I'll
catch you in my next one.
The Breakfast Club News
Hosts And Creators
Charlamagne Tha God
DJ Envy
Jess Hilarious
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