August 13, 2026 • 15 mins
If you're a parent of a pre-teen, this episode is a must-listen.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, it is Mojo in the morning. And this
(00:01):
is so crazy to think how fast summer has gone by.
But also it's so crazy to think how grown up
Mike's Cecily is. Cecily to me has always been the
little girl that you know Mike and Ali. You know,
I remember taking the first grade probably was you know
a thing. She's going to middle school? Now, How crazy
(00:24):
is that? How did she get that old that fast?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Mike? I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I just reminisced about it as we did orientation yesterday
for middle school.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh my god, it's what was it like for you
to go into the orientation and everybody think that you
were a middle schooler.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
If I didn't have a beer, they would be like, Sarah,
you need your school idea, young man.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Is she excited about it? She's very, very excited.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I think it's starting because we have like these talks
each night before we go to bed, we have a
talk with each Milo and ces So we've been talking
to her about kind of what's what to expect going
into to middle school. And I think some of the
stuff that she didn't realize is going away is starting
to hit her.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
And we didn't know this either like there's no recess.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Like I know that's a silly thing, but to a kid,
like their whole world is is that that moment at
recess and it's about to change. And she's kind of
like bummed about that. And we're starting to teach her
like just how to be a little more grown, like
a little you know, a little more mature. And it sucks.
It really sucks because I want her to still call
it play dates and that kind of stuff, and it's
(01:31):
all disappearing, and I think she's excited because it's something
new and she's going to see her friends again. I
ended up doing a slightly messy podcast like from that talk,
and so that's up Mojo Mojo in the Morning dot
com if.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
You want to listen to that. But it brought up
a lot of feels in my own world. Talk to
me about it. What did it bring up?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
So I moved in fifth grade to Belding. I was
like going to school in Grand Rapids and moved to
Belding in fifth grade, which was middle school for me
hers is until seventh grade.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
And when I moved there, I we kind.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Of just threw me in, Like there was no orientation,
There was no advice, There was no nothing, and I
never really I haven't really thought about it my entire
life up until now when we're talking to her and
I'm like, man, I really wish I really wish somebody
had done this for me. Like I had no idea
what I was doing. I was just thrown in and said, go.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
So you didn't have any kids that you knew, Like
there were no neighborhood friends or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
That you went to school, No, because I didn't go there,
So I didn't. So all those elementary schools who everybody
knew everybody, they they were, you know, their friends. Yeah,
And now I didn't know anybody. So I was the
new kid in fifth grade and it was cool, like
like part of it I think about, like I think
it forced me to go out of my comfort zone
(02:49):
and talk to people. And now I'm like really comfortable
like walking up to anybody and talking to them. But
at the enther end of that, I'm seeing her and
what she's going through of like not understanding why recesses
disappeared and why we can't do you know, certain things
and lunches this and class like none of that I
had any idea or preparation. I was still playing Power
Rangers at that point in fifth grade, and I and yeah,
(03:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I just does she Are there any little kid stuff
that that she still enjoys doing that you do not
want to take have it taken away from her, like
like you know, the whole idea, Like I remember when
I was a kid, I loved playing with my Matchbox cars.
You know, I had like a million Matchbox cars, hot wheels,
(03:33):
cars and stuff like that. And I remember my brother's
saying to me, as I was going into senior year
high school, Hey, you know, you probably should think about that,
like most of your friends are really driving.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
But no, but but I was.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Honestly, I had a little bit of my childhood that
was I was like the and not. First off, I
looked like I was twenty eight years old when I was,
you know, five, so you're already kind to look older.
So it looks weird, like you look like you might
be you know, I don't know, it's having some issues,
but I wonder sometimes I don't want to take that
away from Cecily, that she still loves playing with dolls
(04:12):
or doing things like that, Like I don't want the
kid all of a sudden growing up and you know
now she's you know, trying to be old, too old,
you know.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, we went to the orientation.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
We went to his eighth grader orientation cause we're taking
off tonight and going camping up north, so we can't
go to the seventh grade tomorrow. And the difference between
an eighth grader and a seventh grader, because we see
our seventh grader in those eighth graders is wild. They're
all taller, like a lot taller. They like, they must
change a lot. And I don't remember because I didn't
grow very tall, but they must change. They're like their
(04:44):
clothing is like Cecily is still wearing like dragon t
shirts and still like loves to draw dragons and write
dragon comic books. And we've tried to have a conversation
of like, don't lose that that spark or that you know,
I don't know, I've been trying to come up with
advice for Zero, but it's.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Her, that's her, and that's what she likes.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
And yeah, it's well, it all changes when you get
a phone for him, you know what I mean, Like
once they.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Get a phone, they all of a sudden turn into
an adult.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yeah, I think middle school. I mean middle school is definitely.
I think you'll see changes for sure, Like they just
grow up all of a sudden, you blink and you're like, wait,
what in the heck happened? That's that's what my experience
was from from middle school. Because LUs is going to
seventh grade too, But middle school for us started at
sixth grade.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Oh did it really?
Speaker 3 (05:38):
What was the biggest change you notice?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
I just feel like, like for her too, it was
an entirely new group of friends, and so I felt
like sixth grade and thank goodness, she has a great
group of friends that she met. But I feel like
it was a lot of trying to figure out where
she fit in and how she fit in. And so
I said this to you, Like, the one thing that
(06:02):
I really tried to drill in her was be Lucy.
Don't try to change yourself so that you can fit
in with like this girl or this group of friends. Like,
just be you, and that's how you're going to find
your you know, community of people. But yeah, six middle
school girls, man.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Who That's my biggest fear is like the clicks are
going to start and and we've always just been like
be kind and do this thing, you know, do the
be kind to somebody who's maybe sitting by themselves. But
I know, I just have a feeling and I'm a
little nervous about it, like this is just gonna break her,
Like I She's gonna come home one day and something's
gonna happen that she has never had happened to her before,
(06:42):
because up until this point, everybody's been kind to each other.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Part.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I got a question to throw out to you and
Shannon because both you guys and keV, because you guys
all have kids the same age.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Which one would be worse.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
For you finding out that your kid was the kid
that everybody was picking on or finding out that your
kid was the kid that was picking on everyone?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah, I think so I don't want my kid to
be mean. What do you think, keV? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (07:13):
Yeah, absolutely, you don't want you don't want your kid
to be big doing but I don't know it would
be Absolutely I do not want my kid to be
the one that's being a bully and being disrespectful because
I think that says a lot more about the type
of parent that you've been and how you've raised your
child or what they've witnessed I shold.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I agree with you. I think it's a reflection on
the parents.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Yeah, but I also want to be the type of
parent where I don't hopefully my child would have stood
up for themselves in that instance. I mean, even if
they come home and they break down because they feel
safe in front of me, Hopefully I've instilled in them
the ability to speak up and to not necessarily fight back,
but to show that, you know, they won't tolerate that
type of behavior.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Also, you know, it's weird because I was never like
sent off to school.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I don't think you guys were either.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Where your parents basically said all right, you're gonna have
kids that are gonna say this to you, or you're
gonna it's all you're You're you're more reactive than you know, uh, proactive,
And I do think like, I don't think I ever
said to my kids like going into any kind of
a level of their lives. If you got a kid
that does this, it's usually they had a kid that
(08:23):
did it, and you say to them, all right, what's
going on.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I wonder if nowadays.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
You have I mean, taking Joe Sigh out of a
predominantly black school and sending them to school with a
bunch of white kids. You gotta have a conversation like, hey,
this might happen. Let me know if this is said
to you, let me know if you feel like this,
let me know if a teacher DUDEA da da da da,
Like you gotta have them type of conversations. Yeah, in
that particular situation, I just feel it. You know, it's
wild because of I isn't it crazy to that? I
(08:51):
do not remember like it being as hard as it
is on these kids nowadays.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah, but I mean there's just so much more to
it than we dealt with. I will tell you this, Mike.
One thing that like really kind of has blown me away,
I would say over the past like four months is
luc and I have always been really really really really close,
like attached to the hip. She's my bestie, and I
will say sixth grade kinda like I could feel her
(09:18):
going more towards her like making that separation. Oh, like
her friends are her world, and that is really hard
as a parent. That is really really hard as a parent.
That's yeah, you want.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
That right, like you grown independent.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
But yeah, it has been a huge shift for me
and not one that I have done well with so.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
We can tell it's starting and we are. We have
talked about a phone and I don't know, like I
don't want to. I haven't talked to her too much
about bullies or any of that kind of stuff. I've
just said, I if somebody's not nice to you, what
are you gonna do? And we thought about doing like, hey,
we're gonna pretend like we're bullying you and see how
she reacts. But I think we're just gonna let her
figure that part out because I felt like I didn't
get to talk about that either. And I you know,
(10:01):
I maybe had a couple bullies here and there, but
I was just like, that's where I created like humor.
That's how I learned. Like I don't think you I
don't think you can prepare somebody to be bullied. I
think you can talk to them and give them, you know,
this is what you should do if they say this,
if there's specific things.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But I think we just got to let her figure
it out at that point.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Your hope is that you guys have such good dialogue
with each other that she would say something to you
or you would notice it, you know, before it goes
too far but Jessica wants to make a comment about Cecily.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Would you want to say, just have her.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
Join as much like after school clubs or activities. That's
how my daughter got her group of friends who are
absolutely amazing. And she was like in the art stuff,
drawing stuff too. So just have her join as much
as possible, all different kinds of activities and she'll find
multiple friend groups and hopefully we'll be able to just
(10:49):
intermingle with everyone and not.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Really have that bully.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
She's a She's a pretty active kid, isn't she might?
She likes to do a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Very personable, very Uh, yeah, we do.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
We're trying in that era of still trying out things
like volleyball, and we've tried out a bunch of different things,
so we're trying out stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Hey, Stacy, what's up? It's moje in the morning, and say.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
Hey to Mike, Hey, Michael, are you.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Good, Stacy? How are you?
Speaker 7 (11:14):
I'm wonderful, sir. I'm gonna speak on both ends of
the spectrum on this one because my oldest was a
bully and my youngest was bullied. So the best I
can say and advice I can offer is number one
open communication all the time, but maybe find are a
(11:35):
mentor outside of you and your wife, somebody that's going
to teach her how to conduct herself in different manners.
Because I have this theory, it's called the same voice theory.
Your child will not listen to you, and somebody can
say for batim what you have told them and they'll listen.
(11:58):
So getting somebody else's voice involved is detrimental. My children,
they're adults now. But if I would have had somebody
to mentor my son, especially, I think that he would
have gone a different path in life. He's a good kid,
don't get me wrong. He's a hard worker, he's a
great dad. But I think that if he would have
(12:21):
had a strong male mentor in his life, he wouldn't
have felt the need to bully other people. And then
my daughter, she was just once she hit middle school,
it was a nightmare. And it was hers was during COVID,
so it was a whole, a whole thing. But she
went back to public school and I ended up pulling
(12:42):
her out, putting her into private school because just I
saw her life going in a whole direction.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That I was not prepared for doing better.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
Oh she you she graduated, she's looking into going into
the trades. She is the one who stood up for
the kids that were bullied. Even though she was bullied.
There was no kid ever left behind with her and
she challenged people that were much bigger than her when
they saw when when she saw somebody else being bullied.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
In an interesting you can have two kids that are
totally different and you raise them in the same way.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I love the same voice things to you, but maybe
I got to get her into karate.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
And the funny how parents will throw their kids in
jiu jitsu or karate or something like that.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
What's up, Dana, How you doing, I'm.
Speaker 8 (13:32):
Doing good, Good morning. I was just gonna say, like,
when you guys were talking about would you rather have
your child be the one that's bullied or be a bully?
And I think that it's probably easier to talk to
your child and stop them from bullying then to give
your child that confidence to get out there and start
(13:52):
those friendships.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And that's a total perspective.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yeah, yeah, no, you're you're right in some kids never
get over that that they've been bullied no matter what
you do.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
That's a wow, great comment. Vicky. What's up?
Speaker 9 (14:08):
Hey, how's it going good?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
What's going on?
Speaker 8 (14:11):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (14:11):
Nothing. I just wanted to let Mike know. One of
the biggest things is try not to ask, no matter
how much you want to, try not to ask so
many questions of like, hey, how was your day? Did
you have a good launch? Did you And when something
comes up, just listen.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Oh my god, yes and yes, yes, okay, try not
to say anything.
Speaker 9 (14:31):
But if they say something about oh, so and so
did this and you don't hear anything for a few days,
be like, oh my gosh, what happened with so and so?
Speaker 4 (14:37):
You never told me all that the best advice Okay.
Speaker 9 (14:42):
Yep, did that with our daughter, and then she brought
home the troubles and issues to us and just kept
like the generic like politeness with other people at school,
and then came home and was.
Speaker 10 (14:54):
Like, man, and will you became the safe excuse me,
the safe space. So and uh, we're through college and
she's pretty well adjusted for that.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And Mike, wear clothes in the pickup line when you're
picking her up from school like makes me go shirtless,
like actually yeah, with.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
A with a can of Red Bull in your hands. Well,
I just wanted to get confident enough.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
So I can show up and start singing outside of
the song and embarrass her, Like I just need her
to get that confident so I can start embarrassing her
at school.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Kids, When kids stop giving kisses to you at the
pickup line, that's when you know your kid's grown up.
All right, it is Mojo in the morning. And this
(00:01):
is so crazy to think how fast summer has gone by.
But also it's so crazy to think how grown up
Mike's Cecily is. Cecily to me has always been the
little girl that you know Mike and Ali. You know,
I remember taking the first grade probably was you know
a thing. She's going to middle school? Now, How crazy
(00:24):
is that? How did she get that old that fast?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Mike? I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I just reminisced about it as we did orientation yesterday
for middle school.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh my god, it's what was it like for you
to go into the orientation and everybody think that you
were a middle schooler.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
If I didn't have a beer, they would be like, Sarah,
you need your school idea, young man.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Is she excited about it? She's very, very excited.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I think it's starting because we have like these talks
each night before we go to bed, we have a
talk with each Milo and ces So we've been talking
to her about kind of what's what to expect going
into to middle school. And I think some of the
stuff that she didn't realize is going away is starting
to hit her.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
And we didn't know this either like there's no recess.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Like I know that's a silly thing, but to a kid,
like their whole world is is that that moment at
recess and it's about to change. And she's kind of
like bummed about that. And we're starting to teach her
like just how to be a little more grown, like
a little you know, a little more mature. And it sucks.
It really sucks because I want her to still call
it play dates and that kind of stuff, and it's
(01:31):
all disappearing, and I think she's excited because it's something
new and she's going to see her friends again. I
ended up doing a slightly messy podcast like from that talk,
and so that's up Mojo Mojo in the Morning dot
com if.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
You want to listen to that. But it brought up
a lot of feels in my own world. Talk to
me about it. What did it bring up?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
So I moved in fifth grade to Belding. I was
like going to school in Grand Rapids and moved to
Belding in fifth grade, which was middle school for me
hers is until seventh grade.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
And when I moved there, I we kind.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Of just threw me in, Like there was no orientation,
There was no advice, There was no nothing, and I
never really I haven't really thought about it my entire
life up until now when we're talking to her and
I'm like, man, I really wish I really wish somebody
had done this for me. Like I had no idea
what I was doing. I was just thrown in and said, go.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
So you didn't have any kids that you knew, Like
there were no neighborhood friends or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
That you went to school, No, because I didn't go there,
So I didn't. So all those elementary schools who everybody
knew everybody, they they were, you know, their friends. Yeah,
And now I didn't know anybody. So I was the
new kid in fifth grade and it was cool, like
like part of it I think about, like I think
it forced me to go out of my comfort zone
(02:49):
and talk to people. And now I'm like really comfortable
like walking up to anybody and talking to them. But
at the enther end of that, I'm seeing her and
what she's going through of like not understanding why recesses
disappeared and why we can't do you know, certain things
and lunches this and class like none of that I
had any idea or preparation. I was still playing Power
Rangers at that point in fifth grade, and I and yeah,
(03:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I just does she Are there any little kid stuff
that that she still enjoys doing that you do not
want to take have it taken away from her, like
like you know, the whole idea, Like I remember when
I was a kid, I loved playing with my Matchbox cars.
You know, I had like a million Matchbox cars, hot wheels,
(03:33):
cars and stuff like that. And I remember my brother's
saying to me, as I was going into senior year
high school, Hey, you know, you probably should think about that,
like most of your friends are really driving.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
But no, but but I was.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Honestly, I had a little bit of my childhood that
was I was like the and not. First off, I
looked like I was twenty eight years old when I was,
you know, five, so you're already kind to look older.
So it looks weird, like you look like you might
be you know, I don't know, it's having some issues,
but I wonder sometimes I don't want to take that
away from Cecily, that she still loves playing with dolls
(04:12):
or doing things like that, Like I don't want the
kid all of a sudden growing up and you know
now she's you know, trying to be old, too old,
you know.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, we went to the orientation.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
We went to his eighth grader orientation cause we're taking
off tonight and going camping up north, so we can't
go to the seventh grade tomorrow. And the difference between
an eighth grader and a seventh grader, because we see
our seventh grader in those eighth graders is wild. They're
all taller, like a lot taller. They like, they must
change a lot. And I don't remember because I didn't
grow very tall, but they must change. They're like their
(04:44):
clothing is like Cecily is still wearing like dragon t
shirts and still like loves to draw dragons and write
dragon comic books. And we've tried to have a conversation
of like, don't lose that that spark or that you know,
I don't know, I've been trying to come up with
advice for Zero, but it's.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Her, that's her, and that's what she likes.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
And yeah, it's well, it all changes when you get
a phone for him, you know what I mean, Like
once they.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Get a phone, they all of a sudden turn into
an adult.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yeah, I think middle school. I mean middle school is definitely.
I think you'll see changes for sure, Like they just
grow up all of a sudden, you blink and you're like, wait,
what in the heck happened? That's that's what my experience
was from from middle school. Because LUs is going to
seventh grade too, But middle school for us started at
sixth grade.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Oh did it really?
Speaker 3 (05:38):
What was the biggest change you notice?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
I just feel like, like for her too, it was
an entirely new group of friends, and so I felt
like sixth grade and thank goodness, she has a great
group of friends that she met. But I feel like
it was a lot of trying to figure out where
she fit in and how she fit in. And so
I said this to you, Like, the one thing that
(06:02):
I really tried to drill in her was be Lucy.
Don't try to change yourself so that you can fit
in with like this girl or this group of friends. Like,
just be you, and that's how you're going to find
your you know, community of people. But yeah, six middle
school girls, man.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Who That's my biggest fear is like the clicks are
going to start and and we've always just been like
be kind and do this thing, you know, do the
be kind to somebody who's maybe sitting by themselves. But
I know, I just have a feeling and I'm a
little nervous about it, like this is just gonna break her,
Like I She's gonna come home one day and something's
gonna happen that she has never had happened to her before,
(06:42):
because up until this point, everybody's been kind to each other.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Part.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I got a question to throw out to you and
Shannon because both you guys and keV, because you guys
all have kids the same age.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Which one would be worse.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
For you finding out that your kid was the kid
that everybody was picking on or finding out that your
kid was the kid that was picking on everyone?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah, I think so I don't want my kid to
be mean. What do you think, keV? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (07:13):
Yeah, absolutely, you don't want you don't want your kid
to be big doing but I don't know it would
be Absolutely I do not want my kid to be
the one that's being a bully and being disrespectful because
I think that says a lot more about the type
of parent that you've been and how you've raised your
child or what they've witnessed I shold.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I agree with you. I think it's a reflection on
the parents.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Yeah, but I also want to be the type of
parent where I don't hopefully my child would have stood
up for themselves in that instance. I mean, even if
they come home and they break down because they feel
safe in front of me, Hopefully I've instilled in them
the ability to speak up and to not necessarily fight back,
but to show that, you know, they won't tolerate that
type of behavior.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Also, you know, it's weird because I was never like
sent off to school.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I don't think you guys were either.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Where your parents basically said all right, you're gonna have
kids that are gonna say this to you, or you're
gonna it's all you're You're you're more reactive than you know, uh, proactive,
And I do think like, I don't think I ever
said to my kids like going into any kind of
a level of their lives. If you got a kid
that does this, it's usually they had a kid that
(08:23):
did it, and you say to them, all right, what's
going on.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I wonder if nowadays.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
You have I mean, taking Joe Sigh out of a
predominantly black school and sending them to school with a
bunch of white kids. You gotta have a conversation like, hey,
this might happen. Let me know if this is said
to you, let me know if you feel like this,
let me know if a teacher DUDEA da da da da,
Like you gotta have them type of conversations. Yeah, in
that particular situation, I just feel it. You know, it's
wild because of I isn't it crazy to that? I
(08:51):
do not remember like it being as hard as it
is on these kids nowadays.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah, but I mean there's just so much more to
it than we dealt with. I will tell you this, Mike.
One thing that like really kind of has blown me away,
I would say over the past like four months is
luc and I have always been really really really really close,
like attached to the hip. She's my bestie, and I
will say sixth grade kinda like I could feel her
(09:18):
going more towards her like making that separation. Oh, like
her friends are her world, and that is really hard
as a parent. That is really really hard as a parent.
That's yeah, you want.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
That right, like you grown independent.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
But yeah, it has been a huge shift for me
and not one that I have done well with so.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
We can tell it's starting and we are. We have
talked about a phone and I don't know, like I
don't want to. I haven't talked to her too much
about bullies or any of that kind of stuff. I've
just said, I if somebody's not nice to you, what
are you gonna do? And we thought about doing like, hey,
we're gonna pretend like we're bullying you and see how
she reacts. But I think we're just gonna let her
figure that part out because I felt like I didn't
get to talk about that either. And I you know,
(10:01):
I maybe had a couple bullies here and there, but
I was just like, that's where I created like humor.
That's how I learned. Like I don't think you I
don't think you can prepare somebody to be bullied. I
think you can talk to them and give them, you know,
this is what you should do if they say this,
if there's specific things.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But I think we just got to let her figure
it out at that point.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Your hope is that you guys have such good dialogue
with each other that she would say something to you
or you would notice it, you know, before it goes
too far but Jessica wants to make a comment about Cecily.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Would you want to say, just have her.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
Join as much like after school clubs or activities. That's
how my daughter got her group of friends who are
absolutely amazing. And she was like in the art stuff,
drawing stuff too. So just have her join as much
as possible, all different kinds of activities and she'll find
multiple friend groups and hopefully we'll be able to just
(10:49):
intermingle with everyone and not.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Really have that bully.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
She's a She's a pretty active kid, isn't she might?
She likes to do a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Very personable, very Uh, yeah, we do.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
We're trying in that era of still trying out things
like volleyball, and we've tried out a bunch of different things,
so we're trying out stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Hey, Stacy, what's up? It's moje in the morning, and say.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
Hey to Mike, Hey, Michael, are you.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Good, Stacy? How are you?
Speaker 7 (11:14):
I'm wonderful, sir. I'm gonna speak on both ends of
the spectrum on this one because my oldest was a
bully and my youngest was bullied. So the best I
can say and advice I can offer is number one
open communication all the time, but maybe find are a
(11:35):
mentor outside of you and your wife, somebody that's going
to teach her how to conduct herself in different manners.
Because I have this theory, it's called the same voice theory.
Your child will not listen to you, and somebody can
say for batim what you have told them and they'll listen.
(11:58):
So getting somebody else's voice involved is detrimental. My children,
they're adults now. But if I would have had somebody
to mentor my son, especially, I think that he would
have gone a different path in life. He's a good kid,
don't get me wrong. He's a hard worker, he's a
great dad. But I think that if he would have
(12:21):
had a strong male mentor in his life, he wouldn't
have felt the need to bully other people. And then
my daughter, she was just once she hit middle school,
it was a nightmare. And it was hers was during COVID,
so it was a whole, a whole thing. But she
went back to public school and I ended up pulling
(12:42):
her out, putting her into private school because just I
saw her life going in a whole direction.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That I was not prepared for doing better.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
Oh she you she graduated, she's looking into going into
the trades. She is the one who stood up for
the kids that were bullied. Even though she was bullied.
There was no kid ever left behind with her and
she challenged people that were much bigger than her when
they saw when when she saw somebody else being bullied.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
In an interesting you can have two kids that are
totally different and you raise them in the same way.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I love the same voice things to you, but maybe
I got to get her into karate.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
And the funny how parents will throw their kids in
jiu jitsu or karate or something like that.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
What's up, Dana, How you doing, I'm.
Speaker 8 (13:32):
Doing good, Good morning. I was just gonna say, like,
when you guys were talking about would you rather have
your child be the one that's bullied or be a bully?
And I think that it's probably easier to talk to
your child and stop them from bullying then to give
your child that confidence to get out there and start
(13:52):
those friendships.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And that's a total perspective.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yeah, yeah, no, you're you're right in some kids never
get over that that they've been bullied no matter what
you do.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
That's a wow, great comment. Vicky. What's up?
Speaker 9 (14:08):
Hey, how's it going good?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
What's going on?
Speaker 8 (14:11):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (14:11):
Nothing. I just wanted to let Mike know. One of
the biggest things is try not to ask, no matter
how much you want to, try not to ask so
many questions of like, hey, how was your day? Did
you have a good launch? Did you And when something
comes up, just listen.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Oh my god, yes and yes, yes, okay, try not
to say anything.
Speaker 9 (14:31):
But if they say something about oh, so and so
did this and you don't hear anything for a few days,
be like, oh my gosh, what happened with so and so?
Speaker 4 (14:37):
You never told me all that the best advice Okay.
Speaker 9 (14:42):
Yep, did that with our daughter, and then she brought
home the troubles and issues to us and just kept
like the generic like politeness with other people at school,
and then came home and was.
Speaker 10 (14:54):
Like, man, and will you became the safe excuse me,
the safe space. So and uh, we're through college and
she's pretty well adjusted for that.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And Mike, wear clothes in the pickup line when you're
picking her up from school like makes me go shirtless,
like actually yeah, with.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
A with a can of Red Bull in your hands. Well,
I just wanted to get confident enough.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
So I can show up and start singing outside of
the song and embarrass her, Like I just need her
to get that confident so I can start embarrassing her
at school.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Kids, When kids stop giving kisses to you at the
pickup line, that's when you know your kid's grown up.
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