February 9, 2026 • 33 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
On this episode of the weedn podcast, we got a
lot of feedback, not all positive about last week's podcast,
and we're going to talk about that in coasting for
just a couple and then some listener dms. We will
get to those as well as should you be my friend,
(00:42):
we'll talk.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
About it well all right, all right, all right, without
further delay, here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
All right, so we Don't podcast. I want to get
to a couple of things. First off, I want to
talk to you before we get into some of the
listener dms. I want to talk to you about the
conversation of bringing up our last podcast on the radio show,
and we talked about coasting and everything that we talked
(01:13):
about on last week's podcast. If you didn't hear it,
go listen to it. Stop this, go listen to that
one and then come back to this one. But listeners
on our show and it all get spurred on by
I think Kevin pretty much, because Kevin was the one
that said he thinks coasting is a bad thing. So
you wanted to explain the whole coasting thing.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Well, I think maybe coasting might be the wrong word,
you know, because it maybe it has a bad not
a connotation, but a bad idea for people when you
hear it someone's coasting through the relationship. But it's funny
because I talked to a couple of people who have
been married for a long time or longer, and they
(01:55):
all said, I totally get it, and coasting is good.
It's not bad because it's not like you're having struggles
and you know, you can have high highs and you
can have low lows, but coasting. You know, for me,
when I said I'm coasting, it meant that I like
where I'm at. It's not horrible, and I think that
(02:20):
being great is unrealistic because you can't stay there. So
and honestly, for me personally, I've had a lot of
personal stuff that has happened and I'm still processing a
lot of it and you know, still now starting up
with a bunch of my tests and getting into the
(02:43):
doctors for you know, my first follow ups, and it's
a lot mentally that I've had to deal with. And
so for me, when I say coasting, it it was
a great thing, and I think people took it, you know,
because we were fresh off of a fight when we
said it, and we were discussing it, and I think
(03:07):
people felt that you needed to step up and you
needed to do the couple of things that I asked
for a change.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Which people have no idea what those couple of things are.
And the funny thing about those is that I like
when some people don't have an idea of what goes
on in our lives, because it's very rare that they
don't because I talk about so much. But I like
it much better when they don't have the connotation of
me being a total asshole.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Well, and the thing, here's the thing. There are some
things that I want to hold sacred, yeah, and close
to us. And it's not horrible, you know. I think
if I even said it, you guys are like, well,
that's just not a big deal. Why wouldn't you share it?
But I'm not sharing it because there are things I'd
like to hold on to a couple of things that
are close to me, and honestly, I think if I
(03:57):
shared it, I think it'd be very relatable. But but
having said that, I think if you could reflect and again,
we've been together, so this year will be married thirty
two years, so two and a half years before that,
so thirty four and a half years. And that's a
lot and for all of.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
That, sure, and how you felt as a thirty five
year old human being, that's us together.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
I know that it's wild.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I know that's me having three kids and Luke being Yeah,
so I think that, you know, I think what at
the end of the day, what this is is very common.
And when I read through, I got a ton of
DMS about it. I got, you know, we got a
lot of comments because people felt that when Kevin said that,
(04:47):
you know, that's not good. It's not good to coast.
I don't, you know for someone he's never been married.
He you know, I think it's hard for people to
relate when they haven't been in that situation.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, you know, well, I also think for those that
have never been married, or those that have been married
but maybe not as long as thirty five years, because
go talk to a fifty year married couple and those
fuckers are pretty much that's all the energy they got
is to coast. If they have that energy. Here's what
coasting definition is in the Dictionary coasting moving easily without
(05:27):
using power, Sailing along the coast one act of being
in a non movement way towards putting the extreme efforts
of exhaustion in which is interesting because I'm thinking about
us coasting and us going through it. I think that
(05:49):
when I think of coasting, I think of you remember
when you first learned how to ride a bicycle, and
you remember when you would go downhill, and going down
the hill, you would stop pedaling and you would just
kind of like go and you coasting and sometimes you're
going really fast, yeah, and sometimes you start slowing up,
but it's not you having to put the pedal effort
into it.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
And honestly, to me, that is what I feel like
when you say that about our marriage, I'd never take
it as a negative now, Like I like, we have
had so many bad negatives in our marriage, because thirty
five years is a long time where it's been to
a point where both you and I have either been
the one that is so sad and desperately depressed or
(06:35):
so angry or so apathetic or so happy. And I
think that there is a version of coasting that's kind
of like, I'm okay with it.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Coasting is a spring day.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
You know, for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
So I want to get to the DMS because I
really I met a listener of ours at one of
our things that I was just at one of the
UH appearances.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
That I did, and.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
She is a mom of a bunch of kids, and
she is what I would call a Mojo in the
morning listener, Like she's a hard working mom whose kids
go to private school because she works a couple of
jobs and she wants her kids to be in a
better school. And she's had some marital stuff go on
(07:26):
where the father of her children is a shithead, and
she got a little emotional, and she was with her mom,
so grandma was there, and she was so complimentary of
the fact that you are pretty responsive on DM. She
actually said, you're extremely responsive, like you answer her right away,
and she was very appreciative. And I'm going to say
(07:48):
this to you. I look at how many people listen
to this podcast, and I'm kind of blown away by
it because I always think it's weird that people listen
to our radio show, you know, but the amount of
people listening to this thing is pretty amazing too. When
one person comes up like that, it makes me go
all right, we got to do a podcast this week.
And I think that you should be very happy with
(08:10):
the fact that I'm very happy with you that you
are responsive, because if she sent that and I was
the one is no response.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, let me just say this. I try to be
very very quick. Sometimes I don't see that there are
because I'm not on there all the time. But yes,
when I see there's a message.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I do.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
She when she was telling me her story, it made
me like angry. It made me also proud of her,
and I hope she listens to this because she's a
beautiful woman. She's got an unbelievable smile and just a
really bright demeanor to her.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
And I know life ain't easy. I could see.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I mean, I see when she's walking in and she's
taking care of these kids who are bundled up in
negative degree weather. But there is something about her that
made me like when she walked away, I ended up
giving them like ticke us to Disney on ice or something.
They were extremely appreciative and thankful. The kids were awesome,
very polite. Grandma was spectacular. There was something that made
me think that she's got some good stuff coming her way.
(09:13):
And I think it's because she doesn't seem like she's settling,
and because I think easily she could try to settle,
or she could try to make her situation be something
that she puts herself in a hole and doesn't get
out of. And the mere fact that she gets up
every single day and her kids were beautiful and you know, clean.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
And wonderful like I was, so I was so happy
to meet her.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
And if she's listening, I just want you to know
I'll break his fucking legs.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
I don't get these guys.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
It just blows me away, Like like I listen, you
and I are so blessed to have Joe, Jacob and Luke.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
I wish we had three more. I wish we had five.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
And I just cannot imagine, like if something didn't work
between you and I, I couldn't imagine completely discarding my
responsibilities of my kids.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Well, it happens because it happened to me.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
But why does it happen with so many with so
many men? And I know that there are some, yeah,
but why is it that.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Men do this?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I don't know. I don't know. We've made it easy.
We are kind of a throwaway society, but that's not
our topic.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But yeah, no, but we need but we like like,
we need to and it's not just me, exuse, I mean.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Some of them is mental illness, but a lot of it,
I think in the case with my parents when they
got divorced, from what I understand and what I've been
told by my mom and my dad, you know, he's
admitted a lot to me, but my biological dad, but
he you know, he was really pissed that my mom
finally put her foot down into it isn't going to
(11:00):
take his behavior anymore. And he was pissed and he couldn't. Yeah,
he couldn't see past his own selfish behavior. And if
you know, so he left, and it's it's horrible.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
We need you, don't.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
You don't understand the impact of your actions, like and
truly we really it's not even in a marriage or
being a parent, we don't. We need to understand the
impact of our actions every day. It's not just a
specifically about ourselves. Our actions affect everyone around us. You know,
(11:43):
we need to hold people accountable for sure.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
And if we as you know, friends and neighbors and
society don't hold.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
These well, man, the problem was, yeah, his my aunts
and uncles and grandparents helped to hand me on anyway. Okay,
so this was a really good DM and I'm not
gonna say her name because she asked me not to,
but she says hello. I listened to the We Don't
podcast faithfully and I love it. After listening to your
(12:15):
recent episode, I have one question for Chelsea. Chelsea, I
know that you mentioned in the past that throughout your
marriage to Mojo you didn't go through with divorce because
of your boys, and that you didn't want anyone else
raising your kids. It seems like your issues you both
are currently experiencing are reoccurring, meaning nothing has changed over
(12:35):
the years. So what is your reasoning for staying now
that all of your kids are grown. I think it's
important for some of us that are currently hanging in
there for the same reason as you are, or as
you were, to hear because to me it sounds like
there's no hope for change and I'm only four years in.
This is probably a loaded answer, so if you want
to address this on a future podcast. Instead of writing back,
(12:57):
I just asked that you please not mention my name.
Lo L Thanks for this podcast. Continuously praying praying for you.
Through your through your cancer and marriage journey.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Can I answer that? Because I know she asked you,
But can I answer what? I think your answer is
gonna be Okay, I have insurance.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
So that's the joke I say to him all the time. Now,
it's like, say, I need the health insurance. A little
true to that, but that and I loved that she
reached out and asked me this question. She and I
went back and forth a little bit.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
I think she wants you to get divorced.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
No, she doesn't.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
I think she's encouraging you to leave me.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Okay. Anyway, he's just trying to.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Be what what a thank you?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
No, no, no no, But I I why do you stay?
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Well?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
So here's the thing, and I think it's really important.
At the core, you are a great guy. So if
you dig really deep, now, you are a great person.
And listen, if you are with someone long enough, you
are going to have things that you don't feel fulfilled
(14:10):
in and you don't like you. Being in a relationship
is a constant compromise. And that is not bad because
I have to compromise on things that I would like
you to be and do, and same for you. You
(14:30):
have to compromise if you want to stay with me
and if I want to stay with you, and the
good far out weighs the bad. Right now, today, years ago,
the bad far outweigh the good. What changed I think
that you and I? I think just like relationships happen,
(14:53):
like the bad doesn't always last forever. If again, here's
my disclai if there's no abuse, you know, and by
the way, the good doesn't last forever too. You're gonna
have some hard times, you're gonna have some good times.
You're going to have some great times, and you're gonna
have some mediocre times. I love the mediocre. I hate
(15:17):
to say it, but I just feel like or the good,
you know, the great.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
You don't like the extreme stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I don't like the highs and the lows.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
And you've never been that way. And when you see
people that are in extreme highs, you worry.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Well, when I see their extreme highs on social media,
it usually means that they're struggling in real life and
they're trying to compensate. It makes me sad. But when
I when we have friends that are going through like
the highs of the highs of the highs, it's like
buckle up because what goes up must come down, but
same what goes down can bounce back up. You just
(15:54):
have to decide if you're going to stay in it
and work for it because it is a you know,
it is a constant choice every day and sometimes more
than that, every hour. You know, it's a choice. Commitment
is a choice.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
We we haven't experienced since the boys have been out
the extreme lows. We haven't experienced something like extremely bad
like where you and I just got it and we've
had not a.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Low in our relationship where we couldn't stand each other,
but we've had we've had low shit happen.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yeah, which honestly I think probably helped us and saved
saved us instead.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
So here's the thing, Like, when I think that your
heart surgery definitely for me made me realize, Oh.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Go ahead, say what you're saying, I'm saying for myself.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Okay, So I'm saying for me, you're when you had
your heart open heart surgery the minute For me, it
was the minute that light clicked on and I knew
you were because they said, you know, when it's this
color light, when it's this color light, when it's this
color light, that means we've started the surgery. And so
I was just picturing in my head they're cutting your
(17:10):
chest open, They're cracking your ribcage open. And I thought, Okay,
oh my gosh, what if he doesn't survive this surgery?
And how do I tell my kids that he died?
And you had told me that you left us letters
and you made us recordings, and I just I thought, Okay, well,
(17:34):
I guess I really do love him, because if I didn't,
I wouldn't be feeling this way. And you know, then
I decided, okay, this is worth fighting for. Like for you,
you always thought it was COVID that made us, it
wasn't COVID.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
For me.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
It was the thought of losing the father of my children.
And honestly, for me, you are an amazing companion for me.
And I'm not saying that in a bad way. I'm
saying that, like there's nothing better, there's no expectations from us.
(18:17):
I feel we can sit here on a Friday night
and I can. You like to call it a different thing,
but I lay on my pimp Matt. You like to
call it a pence mat. It drives me insane, but
I lay on my pimp mat. You're on the couch
and it just feels easy and good, and especially after
(18:39):
all the shit that I've gone through recently, I don't
need the extremes. I don't need the extremes. I need
just the coasting good.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
What I was gonna say with when we were talking
about the heart surgery was I went into the year
before the heart surgery wanting to a divorce. You know,
we had had conversations. I had said to you, I
you know you were I still remember your face when
(19:13):
I told you, I'm you know this is this is
not what I want to be. You know, I don't
want to be in this at all. And this is
way before COVID was about to start. And while I
was home a year later, literally a year later, and
I was recovering from heart surgery, and I was seeing
how much compassion you had for me after knowing that
(19:35):
I did that to you, and knowing that you and
I were struggling so much. I sat there and I thought, God,
it is it God. That is basically because I believe
that God. Sometimes what he does is I do believe
sometimes you forget about your priorities.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You forget about your priorities, and you forget where your
priorities should be. And then God does this little thing
where he kind of like throws a little thing into you,
like a wrench into your life. And I don't think
he's doing it because he's trying to test you. I
think that there's a little bit of testing your faith
in I do think that that was one of those moments,
(20:23):
like what I would say to you is and I
would say to this person too. There are worries I
have that now that the boys are older, that there
may be a day where you.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Look and go, I'm just really unhappy and I want
on a hair.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
There's also worries that I would feel like one day
I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna feel that way too.
But I think that you have to understand the commitment
that you made a But also the thing that I
think has kept me together forever was the fact that
I don't want to turn and look at somebody else
and say, hey, remember.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
That you always say that and the history we.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Have it, or hey, Friday night, we're going to hang
out on the couch. Like I could not imagine that
I'm in a relationship with somebody or not in a
relationship at all, and either I'm home by myself or
I'm with somebody that wants me to take them out.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
All the time.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
And I know what you usually and then what I
usually want to do. Like we have an idea, and
there are times where we mix it up a little bit.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Yeah, decide we're going to do something well.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
And I will say too, I think that there are
seasons and marriages, and you know, she's really in a
very early stage of her marriage. And I think and
also stop comparing yourselves to people in movies and social
media and your friends, because if your I will tell
you this, if your friends are really real with you,
(21:49):
and if you get together with a group of women
who are either in the same season of their marriage
or maybe even a little bit more advanced, if they
are truthful and honest with you, they're gonna tell you, Yeah,
it can suck. It really can suck. But man, there
are goods. There are good parts to it, for sure.
(22:11):
But if you are with a good core group of women,
they will let you know because it's not it's most marriages.
If we are being really real, they're not instagram worthy.
You know, there's to strip, all the filters and all
the bullshit of how much I'm I'm so in lone
with my husband. No, not no, not if you're being
(22:35):
really real, No you're not. And that's okay. That is
okay because that is real life. And you'll go through
parts where you're really in love with your husband, and
then you'll go through parts where you're really not. You know,
I hate the fakeness and the because it does make
us feel like, oh my gosh, are then my life
(22:55):
sucks so much because a look at all this fake
bullshit out there, and that's all it is. It truly, truly,
truly is because real is there's there's shit, you know,
and out of shit can come good stuff if you're patient.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I always say, you know, people compare on Instagram and
see what everybody's pictures look like, and the comparisons are
always going to be wonderful. You want to really compare,
sit in the waiting room of your therapist office and
look at where people are sitting around the room. There
was one time I went for an appointment, and it
(23:39):
wasn't during our marriage stuff. It was when I was
having some work issues with coworkers and stuff like that,
and I was trying to, you know, work through that,
and I'm sitting in a chair and I'm looking over
at a couple sitting across me. They won't even look
at each other, and they're all they're looking at magazines
and they're angrily.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Going through them. Both of them are going through it.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
And then find when they called them back, it was
like huff and puffing, and the guy waited back let
her go in first for it. And I'm then seeing
another teenager kid who obviously is probably struggling just in
life in general, and you know, and I'm looking around, going,
I guess my life isn't that bad, you know what
I mean. And so it's kind of that that comparison
(24:19):
that you have. And then the waiting room at your on.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
College office is just gonna say that.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I mean, I looked around that room. There's the mom
with no hair who has just gone through probably chemo treatments,
and then the grandma who's there, you know, who looks
like she's you know, the last thing in the world
that woman wants is to have cancer.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
You're getting emotional, no, because that I was, Yeah, that
when we were when we were sitting there, it that
really kind of took my breath away. I was like,
oh my gosh. And that one woman that asked me,
are you Chelsea to do? Yeah? But yeah, I mean,
if that's a dose of reality, I you know, it's
(25:01):
funny because I remember the time going in before that,
when I met with the oncologist the first time and
we weren't for sure, we weren't one hundred percent sure
I had cancer yet, and I remember and I'm like this,
you know, this is so surreal and I'll probably never
come back because it's probably not cancer. Yeah, And because
(25:24):
when I called back to like, hey, are you here?
Are you gonna have an infusion later, I'm like, oh no, no, no,
I just know I don't have cancer.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
No.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
But then you know, then it's the real Yeah. Yeah,
but that is real. That's so true reality.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
My last bit of advice for this person that sent
this pray, I don't think people do that enough. And
I know you probably have had a prayer two, but
truly truly pray and truly devote yourself to prayer and
just see what it does for you. I during one
(25:58):
of our hardest times to daily devotional. You can get
him online. It was honestly awesome. I did that Joel
Olstein guys won and they were really easy to read.
I mean, he's a goofball, but his scriptures were good.
And every day I did it, I felt some kind
of piece that gave me peace in my life personally,
(26:18):
to not be stressed out going home and not stress
you out when I got home.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
You know, so last, but not least, and we are
going to probably go over. In fact, I think we're over.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
You're getting ready to go hang out with your best
friends in the entire world. When I say this, you
have a lot of best friends, but these are the
people that know you the most. Your two friends, your
two friends that you grew up with. It's Tanya's birthday.
You're gonna be celebrating her birthday and you're going to
be with her, and of course Leah, who's like the
third part of our We don't podcast what most about
(27:00):
this makes you happy? Like what brings you joy? Because
I just mentioned their names and you started smiling.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
So well, it's really and it's sandwiched in between. I
had just actually spent some time. It's so funny we
were talking about this. Spent a couple of days with
some friends that I made that we made from when
we bought our first house and we had Joey and yeah,
so they're those friends I've had for thirty years, you know,
(27:28):
because Joey's thirty. So and we spent the weekend together.
It was really funny. One of them, Courtney had cancer,
and then Sean of course did not, and so that
I'm now going with Leah who had cancer and Tanya,
who doesn't. We were talking about hieronic that was, but
my point being, it was just a couple of days
(27:51):
where there was it's just a girl time. We laid around.
Sean wanted to do hot yoga, so we did yoga
every morning, and then if we went to a nice
dinner one night, then the next night we decided to
go out for lunch and then just lay around. And
then the last day we just we did her hot
(28:12):
yoga that almost killed us. But then we just laid
around and just talked. We ordered in food, we had wine,
and we just and it was just it's easy. It's
really really easy. And then now I'm going to go
see my best friend's from second grade, and you know,
it's I feel I don't have sisters, but I feel
(28:38):
so lucky that I am surrounded by people who are
you okay, how don't we wait to choke?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
You don't by the way, you shouldn't acknowledge it. I'm
turning my mic down.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Well I'm not in radio. Sorry, So I feel so
I mean, you could have died and then you would
have said you didn't acknowledge me.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
If I died, then turned the mind.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
So I just feel so lucky that I have these
connections and lifelong connections, and we do get together at
every February to celebrate Tanya, and it's just amazing, like
we it's just an amazing weekend where we can just
(29:23):
be together and do silly things and laugh like it's
amazing when you have those friends that you laugh so
hard that your stomach hurts and you look forward to
just if nothing else being in because typically we go
to a hotel, like just getting in our hotel beds
together and even if we're just scrolling on our phones
(29:45):
doing nothing, like nothing is the best.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I was talking to my best buddy Brad, and I
said to him, you know you're doing this? Yeah, and
he goes, yeah, you know, we got to do something
like that. And I said, Brad, we got to stop talking.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
About it and do it.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I really think this is a huge thing that we
should talk to our boys about because I think that
this is really important for them to maintain those life
lifelong relationships. Yeah, not the friendships that you get over time,
just those the ones that you have from the start
of your time.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Well, if you're lucky to have those and to continue
on with that, there's a.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Lot even if they're you know, your relatives, your brothers,
your sisters, whatever the deal is. Brad and I were
having this conversation about how we did it really one
time where we got a group of us together, Brad's
brother Brian, and our good friend Tom Tom Barrett and
all of us went to you know, see the Cubs
and kind of hung out in Chicago and stuff. And
(30:43):
then Brad and I did the trip with Luke and
he took his son Rocco, and we went spring training
and it was awesome. And I know that things get
busy and time, you know, life gets busy, work, you know,
family obligations, but man, just even I love the I
(31:06):
love the guys who like I'll talk to and they'll
be like, hey, it's you know, it's first Friday. And
in you know, or first Thursday in the month of
the month, and we're going to dinner together and it's
a group of guys like Rick Letterman used to do
that all the time with his buddies he.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Grew up with. And you get envious to that.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
But it's so important because nobody knows you more other
than your spouse than well, I think, I.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Think there's tears of this. Like I think when you
look at your lifetime, if you're lucky enough to have
a sibling and you have a good relationship with that sibling,
no one will know you like your sibling knows you.
That will be your longest relationship that you have because
truly your parents. You should outlive your parents. And like
(31:57):
for like I saw this, I read this one day, like,
if there are three of you siblings, one will outlive
the longest. One will you know one, one, one will
bury two.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
One.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
However it goes, I had one drink at dinner and
I'm two. But but my point and then those are
the ones that hold your do you remember when mom
did this? Remember when Dad did this? Like, those are
the ones that hold the core core childhood, core memory,
core memories. And then for me. The next would be
Tanya and Leah, who hold my you know. Then I
(32:35):
have Jenny, my best friend, best friend from high school.
Then I've got Sean and Courtney, which I meant thirty
years ago, and then I have Jessica. Like if I
were to say, like, I've got the core of my
best friends that am and they all bring so much
to me. And there's those are the friends that have
(32:56):
a zero I have zero. I can come to them
and I know that they'll be there for me for everything,
zero expectations, like there's just not a but I know
that they're there and when I needed people like, they
were there.
Speaker 4 (33:13):
And you're blessed you still got both your parents.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
I'm very I know.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
That's that's huge, so huge. All right, Well go have
fun with your friends. I am going to right now
get on a zoom call for my brother Bill's birthday.
My brother Bill, who's it's not it's I'm gonna. I
gotta prepare for it. Pour me a cocktail. I gotta
get ready,
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
On this episode of the weedn podcast, we got a
lot of feedback, not all positive about last week's podcast,
and we're going to talk about that in coasting for
just a couple and then some listener dms. We will
get to those as well as should you be my friend,
(00:42):
we'll talk.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
About it well all right, all right, all right, without
further delay, here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
All right, so we Don't podcast. I want to get
to a couple of things. First off, I want to
talk to you before we get into some of the
listener dms. I want to talk to you about the
conversation of bringing up our last podcast on the radio show,
and we talked about coasting and everything that we talked
(01:13):
about on last week's podcast. If you didn't hear it,
go listen to it. Stop this, go listen to that
one and then come back to this one. But listeners
on our show and it all get spurred on by
I think Kevin pretty much, because Kevin was the one
that said he thinks coasting is a bad thing. So
you wanted to explain the whole coasting thing.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Well, I think maybe coasting might be the wrong word,
you know, because it maybe it has a bad not
a connotation, but a bad idea for people when you
hear it someone's coasting through the relationship. But it's funny
because I talked to a couple of people who have
been married for a long time or longer, and they
(01:55):
all said, I totally get it, and coasting is good.
It's not bad because it's not like you're having struggles
and you know, you can have high highs and you
can have low lows, but coasting. You know, for me,
when I said I'm coasting, it meant that I like
where I'm at. It's not horrible, and I think that
(02:20):
being great is unrealistic because you can't stay there. So
and honestly, for me personally, I've had a lot of
personal stuff that has happened and I'm still processing a
lot of it and you know, still now starting up
with a bunch of my tests and getting into the
(02:43):
doctors for you know, my first follow ups, and it's
a lot mentally that I've had to deal with. And
so for me, when I say coasting, it it was
a great thing, and I think people took it, you know,
because we were fresh off of a fight when we
said it, and we were discussing it, and I think
(03:07):
people felt that you needed to step up and you
needed to do the couple of things that I asked
for a change.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Which people have no idea what those couple of things are.
And the funny thing about those is that I like
when some people don't have an idea of what goes
on in our lives, because it's very rare that they
don't because I talk about so much. But I like
it much better when they don't have the connotation of
me being a total asshole.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Well, and the thing, here's the thing. There are some
things that I want to hold sacred, yeah, and close
to us. And it's not horrible, you know. I think
if I even said it, you guys are like, well,
that's just not a big deal. Why wouldn't you share it?
But I'm not sharing it because there are things I'd
like to hold on to a couple of things that
are close to me, and honestly, I think if I
(03:57):
shared it, I think it'd be very relatable. But but
having said that, I think if you could reflect and again,
we've been together, so this year will be married thirty
two years, so two and a half years before that,
so thirty four and a half years. And that's a
lot and for all of.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
That, sure, and how you felt as a thirty five
year old human being, that's us together.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
I know that it's wild.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I know that's me having three kids and Luke being Yeah,
so I think that, you know, I think what at
the end of the day, what this is is very common.
And when I read through, I got a ton of
DMS about it. I got, you know, we got a
lot of comments because people felt that when Kevin said that,
(04:47):
you know, that's not good. It's not good to coast.
I don't, you know for someone he's never been married.
He you know, I think it's hard for people to
relate when they haven't been in that situation.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, you know, well, I also think for those that
have never been married, or those that have been married
but maybe not as long as thirty five years, because
go talk to a fifty year married couple and those
fuckers are pretty much that's all the energy they got
is to coast. If they have that energy. Here's what
coasting definition is in the Dictionary coasting moving easily without
(05:27):
using power, Sailing along the coast one act of being
in a non movement way towards putting the extreme efforts
of exhaustion in which is interesting because I'm thinking about
us coasting and us going through it. I think that
(05:49):
when I think of coasting, I think of you remember
when you first learned how to ride a bicycle, and
you remember when you would go downhill, and going down
the hill, you would stop pedaling and you would just
kind of like go and you coasting and sometimes you're
going really fast, yeah, and sometimes you start slowing up,
but it's not you having to put the pedal effort
into it.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
And honestly, to me, that is what I feel like
when you say that about our marriage, I'd never take
it as a negative now, Like I like, we have
had so many bad negatives in our marriage, because thirty
five years is a long time where it's been to
a point where both you and I have either been
the one that is so sad and desperately depressed or
(06:35):
so angry or so apathetic or so happy. And I
think that there is a version of coasting that's kind
of like, I'm okay with it.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Coasting is a spring day.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
You know, for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
So I want to get to the DMS because I
really I met a listener of ours at one of
our things that I was just at one of the
UH appearances.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
That I did, and.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
She is a mom of a bunch of kids, and
she is what I would call a Mojo in the
morning listener, Like she's a hard working mom whose kids
go to private school because she works a couple of
jobs and she wants her kids to be in a
better school. And she's had some marital stuff go on
(07:26):
where the father of her children is a shithead, and
she got a little emotional, and she was with her mom,
so grandma was there, and she was so complimentary of
the fact that you are pretty responsive on DM. She
actually said, you're extremely responsive, like you answer her right away,
and she was very appreciative. And I'm going to say
(07:48):
this to you. I look at how many people listen
to this podcast, and I'm kind of blown away by
it because I always think it's weird that people listen
to our radio show, you know, but the amount of
people listening to this thing is pretty amazing too. When
one person comes up like that, it makes me go
all right, we got to do a podcast this week.
And I think that you should be very happy with
(08:10):
the fact that I'm very happy with you that you
are responsive, because if she sent that and I was
the one is no response.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, let me just say this. I try to be
very very quick. Sometimes I don't see that there are
because I'm not on there all the time. But yes,
when I see there's a message.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I do.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
She when she was telling me her story, it made
me like angry. It made me also proud of her,
and I hope she listens to this because she's a
beautiful woman. She's got an unbelievable smile and just a
really bright demeanor to her.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
And I know life ain't easy. I could see.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I mean, I see when she's walking in and she's
taking care of these kids who are bundled up in
negative degree weather. But there is something about her that
made me like when she walked away, I ended up
giving them like ticke us to Disney on ice or something.
They were extremely appreciative and thankful. The kids were awesome,
very polite. Grandma was spectacular. There was something that made
me think that she's got some good stuff coming her way.
(09:13):
And I think it's because she doesn't seem like she's settling,
and because I think easily she could try to settle,
or she could try to make her situation be something
that she puts herself in a hole and doesn't get
out of. And the mere fact that she gets up
every single day and her kids were beautiful and you know, clean.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
And wonderful like I was, so I was so happy
to meet her.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
And if she's listening, I just want you to know
I'll break his fucking legs.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
I don't get these guys.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
It just blows me away, Like like I listen, you
and I are so blessed to have Joe, Jacob and Luke.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
I wish we had three more. I wish we had five.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
And I just cannot imagine, like if something didn't work
between you and I, I couldn't imagine completely discarding my
responsibilities of my kids.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Well, it happens because it happened to me.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
But why does it happen with so many with so
many men? And I know that there are some, yeah,
but why is it that.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Men do this?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I don't know. I don't know. We've made it easy.
We are kind of a throwaway society, but that's not
our topic.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But yeah, no, but we need but we like like,
we need to and it's not just me, exuse, I mean.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Some of them is mental illness, but a lot of it,
I think in the case with my parents when they
got divorced, from what I understand and what I've been
told by my mom and my dad, you know, he's
admitted a lot to me, but my biological dad, but
he you know, he was really pissed that my mom
finally put her foot down into it isn't going to
(11:00):
take his behavior anymore. And he was pissed and he couldn't. Yeah,
he couldn't see past his own selfish behavior. And if
you know, so he left, and it's it's horrible.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
We need you, don't.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
You don't understand the impact of your actions, like and
truly we really it's not even in a marriage or
being a parent, we don't. We need to understand the
impact of our actions every day. It's not just a
specifically about ourselves. Our actions affect everyone around us. You know,
(11:43):
we need to hold people accountable for sure.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
And if we as you know, friends and neighbors and
society don't hold.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
These well, man, the problem was, yeah, his my aunts
and uncles and grandparents helped to hand me on anyway. Okay,
so this was a really good DM and I'm not
gonna say her name because she asked me not to,
but she says hello. I listened to the We Don't
podcast faithfully and I love it. After listening to your
(12:15):
recent episode, I have one question for Chelsea. Chelsea, I
know that you mentioned in the past that throughout your
marriage to Mojo you didn't go through with divorce because
of your boys, and that you didn't want anyone else
raising your kids. It seems like your issues you both
are currently experiencing are reoccurring, meaning nothing has changed over
(12:35):
the years. So what is your reasoning for staying now
that all of your kids are grown. I think it's
important for some of us that are currently hanging in
there for the same reason as you are, or as
you were, to hear because to me it sounds like
there's no hope for change and I'm only four years in.
This is probably a loaded answer, so if you want
to address this on a future podcast. Instead of writing back,
(12:57):
I just asked that you please not mention my name.
Lo L Thanks for this podcast. Continuously praying praying for you.
Through your through your cancer and marriage journey.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Can I answer that? Because I know she asked you,
But can I answer what? I think your answer is
gonna be Okay, I have insurance.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
So that's the joke I say to him all the time. Now,
it's like, say, I need the health insurance. A little
true to that, but that and I loved that she
reached out and asked me this question. She and I
went back and forth a little bit.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
I think she wants you to get divorced.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
No, she doesn't.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
I think she's encouraging you to leave me.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Okay. Anyway, he's just trying to.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Be what what a thank you?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
No, no, no no, But I I why do you stay?
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Well?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
So here's the thing, and I think it's really important.
At the core, you are a great guy. So if
you dig really deep, now, you are a great person.
And listen, if you are with someone long enough, you
are going to have things that you don't feel fulfilled
(14:10):
in and you don't like you. Being in a relationship
is a constant compromise. And that is not bad because
I have to compromise on things that I would like
you to be and do, and same for you. You
(14:30):
have to compromise if you want to stay with me
and if I want to stay with you, and the
good far out weighs the bad. Right now, today, years ago,
the bad far outweigh the good. What changed I think
that you and I? I think just like relationships happen,
(14:53):
like the bad doesn't always last forever. If again, here's
my disclai if there's no abuse, you know, and by
the way, the good doesn't last forever too. You're gonna
have some hard times, you're gonna have some good times.
You're going to have some great times, and you're gonna
have some mediocre times. I love the mediocre. I hate
(15:17):
to say it, but I just feel like or the good,
you know, the great.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
You don't like the extreme stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I don't like the highs and the lows.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
And you've never been that way. And when you see
people that are in extreme highs, you worry.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Well, when I see their extreme highs on social media,
it usually means that they're struggling in real life and
they're trying to compensate. It makes me sad. But when
I when we have friends that are going through like
the highs of the highs of the highs, it's like
buckle up because what goes up must come down, but
same what goes down can bounce back up. You just
(15:54):
have to decide if you're going to stay in it
and work for it because it is a you know,
it is a constant choice every day and sometimes more
than that, every hour. You know, it's a choice. Commitment
is a choice.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
We we haven't experienced since the boys have been out
the extreme lows. We haven't experienced something like extremely bad
like where you and I just got it and we've
had not a.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Low in our relationship where we couldn't stand each other,
but we've had we've had low shit happen.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yeah, which honestly I think probably helped us and saved
saved us instead.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
So here's the thing, Like, when I think that your
heart surgery definitely for me made me realize, Oh.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Go ahead, say what you're saying, I'm saying for myself.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Okay, So I'm saying for me, you're when you had
your heart open heart surgery the minute For me, it
was the minute that light clicked on and I knew
you were because they said, you know, when it's this
color light, when it's this color light, when it's this
color light, that means we've started the surgery. And so
I was just picturing in my head they're cutting your
(17:10):
chest open, They're cracking your ribcage open. And I thought, Okay,
oh my gosh, what if he doesn't survive this surgery?
And how do I tell my kids that he died?
And you had told me that you left us letters
and you made us recordings, and I just I thought, Okay, well,
(17:34):
I guess I really do love him, because if I didn't,
I wouldn't be feeling this way. And you know, then
I decided, okay, this is worth fighting for. Like for you,
you always thought it was COVID that made us, it
wasn't COVID.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
For me.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
It was the thought of losing the father of my children.
And honestly, for me, you are an amazing companion for me.
And I'm not saying that in a bad way. I'm
saying that, like there's nothing better, there's no expectations from us.
(18:17):
I feel we can sit here on a Friday night
and I can. You like to call it a different thing,
but I lay on my pimp Matt. You like to
call it a pence mat. It drives me insane, but
I lay on my pimp mat. You're on the couch
and it just feels easy and good, and especially after
(18:39):
all the shit that I've gone through recently, I don't
need the extremes. I don't need the extremes. I need
just the coasting good.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
What I was gonna say with when we were talking
about the heart surgery was I went into the year
before the heart surgery wanting to a divorce. You know,
we had had conversations. I had said to you, I
you know you were I still remember your face when
(19:13):
I told you, I'm you know this is this is
not what I want to be. You know, I don't
want to be in this at all. And this is
way before COVID was about to start. And while I
was home a year later, literally a year later, and
I was recovering from heart surgery, and I was seeing
how much compassion you had for me after knowing that
(19:35):
I did that to you, and knowing that you and
I were struggling so much. I sat there and I thought, God,
it is it God. That is basically because I believe
that God. Sometimes what he does is I do believe
sometimes you forget about your priorities.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You forget about your priorities, and you forget where your
priorities should be. And then God does this little thing
where he kind of like throws a little thing into you,
like a wrench into your life. And I don't think
he's doing it because he's trying to test you. I
think that there's a little bit of testing your faith
in I do think that that was one of those moments,
(20:23):
like what I would say to you is and I
would say to this person too. There are worries I
have that now that the boys are older, that there
may be a day where you.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Look and go, I'm just really unhappy and I want
on a hair.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
There's also worries that I would feel like one day
I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna feel that way too.
But I think that you have to understand the commitment
that you made a But also the thing that I
think has kept me together forever was the fact that
I don't want to turn and look at somebody else
and say, hey, remember.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
That you always say that and the history we.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Have it, or hey, Friday night, we're going to hang
out on the couch. Like I could not imagine that
I'm in a relationship with somebody or not in a
relationship at all, and either I'm home by myself or
I'm with somebody that wants me to take them out.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
All the time.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
And I know what you usually and then what I
usually want to do. Like we have an idea, and
there are times where we mix it up a little bit.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Yeah, decide we're going to do something well.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
And I will say too, I think that there are
seasons and marriages, and you know, she's really in a
very early stage of her marriage. And I think and
also stop comparing yourselves to people in movies and social
media and your friends, because if your I will tell
you this, if your friends are really real with you,
(21:49):
and if you get together with a group of women
who are either in the same season of their marriage
or maybe even a little bit more advanced, if they
are truthful and honest with you, they're gonna tell you, Yeah,
it can suck. It really can suck. But man, there
are goods. There are good parts to it, for sure.
(22:11):
But if you are with a good core group of women,
they will let you know because it's not it's most marriages.
If we are being really real, they're not instagram worthy.
You know, there's to strip, all the filters and all
the bullshit of how much I'm I'm so in lone
with my husband. No, not no, not if you're being
(22:35):
really real, No you're not. And that's okay. That is
okay because that is real life. And you'll go through
parts where you're really in love with your husband, and
then you'll go through parts where you're really not. You know,
I hate the fakeness and the because it does make
us feel like, oh my gosh, are then my life
(22:55):
sucks so much because a look at all this fake
bullshit out there, and that's all it is. It truly, truly,
truly is because real is there's there's shit, you know,
and out of shit can come good stuff if you're patient.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I always say, you know, people compare on Instagram and
see what everybody's pictures look like, and the comparisons are
always going to be wonderful. You want to really compare,
sit in the waiting room of your therapist office and
look at where people are sitting around the room. There
was one time I went for an appointment, and it
(23:39):
wasn't during our marriage stuff. It was when I was
having some work issues with coworkers and stuff like that,
and I was trying to, you know, work through that,
and I'm sitting in a chair and I'm looking over
at a couple sitting across me. They won't even look
at each other, and they're all they're looking at magazines
and they're angrily.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Going through them. Both of them are going through it.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
And then find when they called them back, it was
like huff and puffing, and the guy waited back let
her go in first for it. And I'm then seeing
another teenager kid who obviously is probably struggling just in
life in general, and you know, and I'm looking around, going,
I guess my life isn't that bad, you know what
I mean. And so it's kind of that that comparison
(24:19):
that you have. And then the waiting room at your on.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
College office is just gonna say that.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I mean, I looked around that room. There's the mom
with no hair who has just gone through probably chemo treatments,
and then the grandma who's there, you know, who looks
like she's you know, the last thing in the world
that woman wants is to have cancer.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
You're getting emotional, no, because that I was, Yeah, that
when we were when we were sitting there, it that
really kind of took my breath away. I was like,
oh my gosh. And that one woman that asked me,
are you Chelsea to do? Yeah? But yeah, I mean,
if that's a dose of reality, I you know, it's
(25:01):
funny because I remember the time going in before that,
when I met with the oncologist the first time and
we weren't for sure, we weren't one hundred percent sure
I had cancer yet, and I remember and I'm like this,
you know, this is so surreal and I'll probably never
come back because it's probably not cancer. Yeah, And because
(25:24):
when I called back to like, hey, are you here?
Are you gonna have an infusion later, I'm like, oh no, no, no,
I just know I don't have cancer.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
No.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
But then you know, then it's the real Yeah. Yeah,
but that is real. That's so true reality.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
My last bit of advice for this person that sent
this pray, I don't think people do that enough. And
I know you probably have had a prayer two, but
truly truly pray and truly devote yourself to prayer and
just see what it does for you. I during one
(25:58):
of our hardest times to daily devotional. You can get
him online. It was honestly awesome. I did that Joel
Olstein guys won and they were really easy to read.
I mean, he's a goofball, but his scriptures were good.
And every day I did it, I felt some kind
of piece that gave me peace in my life personally,
(26:18):
to not be stressed out going home and not stress
you out when I got home.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
You know, so last, but not least, and we are
going to probably go over. In fact, I think we're over.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
You're getting ready to go hang out with your best
friends in the entire world. When I say this, you
have a lot of best friends, but these are the
people that know you the most. Your two friends, your
two friends that you grew up with. It's Tanya's birthday.
You're gonna be celebrating her birthday and you're going to
be with her, and of course Leah, who's like the
third part of our We don't podcast what most about
(27:00):
this makes you happy? Like what brings you joy? Because
I just mentioned their names and you started smiling.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
So well, it's really and it's sandwiched in between. I
had just actually spent some time. It's so funny we
were talking about this. Spent a couple of days with
some friends that I made that we made from when
we bought our first house and we had Joey and yeah,
so they're those friends I've had for thirty years, you know,
(27:28):
because Joey's thirty. So and we spent the weekend together.
It was really funny. One of them, Courtney had cancer,
and then Sean of course did not, and so that
I'm now going with Leah who had cancer and Tanya,
who doesn't. We were talking about hieronic that was, but
my point being, it was just a couple of days
(27:51):
where there was it's just a girl time. We laid around.
Sean wanted to do hot yoga, so we did yoga
every morning, and then if we went to a nice
dinner one night, then the next night we decided to
go out for lunch and then just lay around. And
then the last day we just we did her hot
(28:12):
yoga that almost killed us. But then we just laid
around and just talked. We ordered in food, we had wine,
and we just and it was just it's easy. It's
really really easy. And then now I'm going to go
see my best friend's from second grade, and you know,
it's I feel I don't have sisters, but I feel
(28:38):
so lucky that I am surrounded by people who are
you okay, how don't we wait to choke?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
You don't by the way, you shouldn't acknowledge it. I'm
turning my mic down.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Well I'm not in radio. Sorry, So I feel so
I mean, you could have died and then you would
have said you didn't acknowledge me.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
If I died, then turned the mind.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
So I just feel so lucky that I have these
connections and lifelong connections, and we do get together at
every February to celebrate Tanya, and it's just amazing, like
we it's just an amazing weekend where we can just
(29:23):
be together and do silly things and laugh like it's
amazing when you have those friends that you laugh so
hard that your stomach hurts and you look forward to
just if nothing else being in because typically we go
to a hotel, like just getting in our hotel beds
together and even if we're just scrolling on our phones
(29:45):
doing nothing, like nothing is the best.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I was talking to my best buddy Brad, and I
said to him, you know you're doing this? Yeah, and
he goes, yeah, you know, we got to do something
like that. And I said, Brad, we got to stop talking.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
About it and do it.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I really think this is a huge thing that we
should talk to our boys about because I think that
this is really important for them to maintain those life
lifelong relationships. Yeah, not the friendships that you get over time,
just those the ones that you have from the start
of your time.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Well, if you're lucky to have those and to continue
on with that, there's a.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Lot even if they're you know, your relatives, your brothers,
your sisters, whatever the deal is. Brad and I were
having this conversation about how we did it really one
time where we got a group of us together, Brad's
brother Brian, and our good friend Tom Tom Barrett and
all of us went to you know, see the Cubs
and kind of hung out in Chicago and stuff. And
(30:43):
then Brad and I did the trip with Luke and
he took his son Rocco, and we went spring training
and it was awesome. And I know that things get
busy and time, you know, life gets busy, work, you know,
family obligations, but man, just even I love the I
(31:06):
love the guys who like I'll talk to and they'll
be like, hey, it's you know, it's first Friday. And
in you know, or first Thursday in the month of
the month, and we're going to dinner together and it's
a group of guys like Rick Letterman used to do
that all the time with his buddies he.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Grew up with. And you get envious to that.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
But it's so important because nobody knows you more other
than your spouse than well, I think, I.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Think there's tears of this. Like I think when you
look at your lifetime, if you're lucky enough to have
a sibling and you have a good relationship with that sibling,
no one will know you like your sibling knows you.
That will be your longest relationship that you have because
truly your parents. You should outlive your parents. And like
(31:57):
for like I saw this, I read this one day, like,
if there are three of you siblings, one will outlive
the longest. One will you know one, one, one will
bury two.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
One.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
However it goes, I had one drink at dinner and
I'm two. But but my point and then those are
the ones that hold your do you remember when mom
did this? Remember when Dad did this? Like, those are
the ones that hold the core core childhood, core memory,
core memories. And then for me. The next would be
Tanya and Leah, who hold my you know. Then I
(32:35):
have Jenny, my best friend, best friend from high school.
Then I've got Sean and Courtney, which I meant thirty
years ago, and then I have Jessica. Like if I
were to say, like, I've got the core of my
best friends that am and they all bring so much
to me. And there's those are the friends that have
(32:56):
a zero I have zero. I can come to them
and I know that they'll be there for me for everything,
zero expectations, like there's just not a but I know
that they're there and when I needed people like, they
were there.
Speaker 4 (33:13):
And you're blessed you still got both your parents.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
I'm very I know.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
That's that's huge, so huge. All right, Well go have
fun with your friends. I am going to right now
get on a zoom call for my brother Bill's birthday.
My brother Bill, who's it's not it's I'm gonna. I
gotta prepare for it. Pour me a cocktail. I gotta
get ready,
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