February 16, 2026 • 32 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half
Chelsea on this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Coming up on this episode of the We Dome Podcast,
if we did it all over again, would.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
We even want to have kids? Yes, they think I'm
supposed to answer it him the teas well.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
All right, all right, all right, without further delay, here
are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
All Right, So we just got back from going to
a baby shower for my sister's daughter, our niece, Madeleine,
and I want to talk about that. I also want
to talk about the fact that it was just Valentine's
Day and we are the hitting me of what couples
should never look at when it comes to how do
(01:03):
you spend a Valentine's.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Couple should never look at.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Don't look at us as an example of Valentine's Day,
everybody around us was enjoying Valentine's Day.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
We were in Chicago.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We witnessed probably some of the worst traffic I've ever
seen ever in that city. Restaurants were packed, the hotel
that we were staying at had people checking in for
you know, Valentine's Day, And there you and I were
the example of what not to be on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I did not.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
My most least favorite stinking Instagram post was my.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Forever Valentine, My forever Valentine?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And who was it that did everyone everyone at the gag?
Why do you say that I think we were one
time romantic?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I really do.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Like you used to do things like used to make
you know, boxes with you know things in it and
stuff like that for me. Things you would have like
special thing like my favorite stuff. Like I remember that
we were that couple at one point where you know,
I did exactly what I do all the time. Now,
I just went to the mall and bought you something.
You would make things for me like you were into
(02:16):
that at one point, Probably you lost your love for me.
I'm not your forever Valentine. The problem, though, is I'm
the guy that's with you forever on Valentine's Right.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
That's true. So far?
Speaker 3 (02:29):
What is it? Where do we lose it? Where did
that go away?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Because I still see old couples that seem like they
love each other and they're still in We.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Don't love each other, It's just that we don't celebrate.
I don't know. I don't remember the last time you and.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
I like celebrated Valentine's Day or even and we talked
about it with your siblings, which they don't really celebrate
it either. It's not another married couple, couple, married couples
that were at the shower, they don't celebrate it.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
We don't.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I don't think we're out of the ordinary. We were
amongst a lot of people have been married for a
long time, and they they don't celebrate it. I don't
feel bad. I think we are in the majority versus
the minority.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Is Valentine's Day just a holiday for us?
Speaker 4 (03:12):
It's a home holiday?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yeah, it's and really like newlyweds.
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Listen, even our niece who it was her baby shower
we were at and she's been married for it'll be
three years, I think three or four years, three years
and uh, I said, well, do you and Drew celebrate it?
And she said no, it's stupid homark holiday. She says that.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Baby inside of her right now there?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Know, even her husband said it.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I yeah, Well, listen, Drew's gonna say whatever she's going
to say because he's a guy, and most guys are
like that.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
They follow.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
So I'm telling you what people said.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I do think though that you know, it's a good
example of do we need one day for that, you know?
Or is it better to have it be that if
you are going to do something for your forever Valentine,
that you do it on a random day that makes
them feel like, oh my god, holy you know crap.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
You know, they they were thinking of me.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
You know.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
I'm just wondering for the people who post, you know,
my forever Valentine, if they happened to break up and
then they'd start dating someone else or they get married
to someone else, is that.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Person there forever Valentine?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Or does that person look back at their past.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Social social media post?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Do you look back at do you look back on
somebody's past social media post going you said this one time?
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Because it's all in the stories. I mean, they're probably
very smart about it. It's all on the stories. But
I was like, oh, fre's I love.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I will say this.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I thought it was cute when we were at the
hotel that there were a lot of moms and dads
that just took their kids to have like staycations that
looked like because it didn't look like they were from
out of town, they look like that's.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Like I definitely when the boys lived here and when
they were little, I did Valentine's for them and with
them when they did them for school.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
You know, that was fun.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
It's just like, you know, you make our relationships sometimes
with the way that you talk about it, you make
it look like we don't.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I think, enjoy each other.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Listen, that's not true.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
That is not true because you are actually a romantic person.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like you're a person that does when I say this,
it's not about what you do for me, like buying
a gift or you know, making something for me. It's
that there are I know that when we are in
a moment of need or there is a moment where
you know you miss me, then I know that the
(05:42):
love comes out.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
Well listen, and it does. I think our love is
shown in every day. It's just by sitting down and
having conversation with each other and you know, asking how
your day was. And it doesn't have to be this
grand gesture where there are balloons and flowers and I'm
confessing my undying love for you on social media. A
(06:06):
I'm not that person anyway, Like I just don't do that.
But you know, I think that for myself. Real love
is in the everyday gestures. It doesn't have to be
once a year that it has to come out and
be you know, proven by because that's that's the thing too.
(06:29):
Like honestly, it's like who can do the bigger better Valentine.
It's funny, it's actually very funny. But but and also
if that's how you if the if.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (06:41):
The gifts are the love language of gifts. If that
is your love language, then that is probably a perfect
holiday for you. You know, mine is not gift giving
or gift receiving or gifts like mine is.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Now, you're not just kidding.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Your just quality time minus quality time.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
I thought we actually had good quality time driving to
and from.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
The drive home was long.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
You were tired of me by that boy.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
It wasn't, no, it just seemed like it was really long.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
The way there, we had really good conversation.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
We had good conversation on the way home too, but
it was just long. It was a long drive.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
So we went to Chicago to go for this baby shower,
which is a really and.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
She's having a boy found the shower.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Which was exciting, you know for us because we know
what it's like that boys and we love and exciting for.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Them because it's very bittersweet. This is your sister's husband
who has early on set Alzheimer's. Yeah, they only had girls,
so this is the first boy in their family.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
And it's funny because Madeline, who is having the boy,
kind of was Scott's daughter and his boy because he
was obsessed with cars, loved cars, and Madelene loved cars
and would go with her dad to do all kinds
of car stuff. And so there is something that that
is kind of I don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Beautiful about that.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
It's like God's you know, message back to Madeleine, you
know what I mean in this time where she's watching
her dad just deteriorate.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
It's really it was very emotional.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
It was it was tough to see that because knew
nothing of what was going on.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
It's awful to these it was a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful shower.
And then yeah, to know that he just doesn't understand.
It's just yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I have to tell you though, when I saw Madeline
and Drew, I saw a little bit of us in them.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
And because you always say you see yourself.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And Drew, well, no, everybody keeps telling me that that
Drew reminds them of Yeah, which I will say this
about Drew. I thought that this was perfect for him
because he's going to be a great boy dad. You know,
he's a former football played Michigan and he is just
a big, you know, solid dude. But I watched those
(09:06):
two and I watched how Madeleine is really like focused
and she kind of knows what's going on, and Drew's
like along for the ride, but he seems like he
knows his stuff. Like I'm listening to him talk about
all the things. I can tell that they talk a
lot about this baby and the you know, needs that
they will need for being able to raise this baby.
(09:26):
The biggest piece of advice I want to give to them,
and this is kind of what I wanted to kind
of talk about in this podcast because I think many
who listen to this have kids. Biggest piece of advice
that I wish I could give to somebody that is
having kids is go with the flow a little bit more.
I really do think that one of the things that
you don't learn going into your first baby that you
(09:49):
kind of learn once you have maybe two or three,
is that you took things a little too crazy serious.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Well that's why the first one.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It's always neurotic, right, So if Madeleine's listening, you don't
want to have a joey you know. No, I wish
I wish I was more attentive to enjoying the moments
that we had where I'm sure that you probably wish
that you were maybe even a little less attentive and
just started enjoying the moment.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
No, I wish I would have enjoyed the moment more, for.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Sure, because one of the things I think I was attentive.
I wish I focused on something that I truly would
love to advise Drew or anybody that's gonna be a
future dad, and that is, don't worry about am I
able to support this child? Because that was the biggest
worry that I had going into it. Because we had
(10:43):
no time for us to be just a married couple.
We went right into We got married, you got pregnant,
We needed to buy a house because we were living
in a small apartment, and everything kept piling on. In
a job like I have in radio, it was not
a Okay, what's going to happen in the future, It
(11:07):
was am I going to have a job in the future,
because that's always been this career. And I think that
one of the things that I didn't even think about
was and I don't know if you remember this, we
did a lot of those appearances, like I'd do side gigs,
I'd go to bars, I'd go to cell phone stores,
I'd do you know, car dealership remotes and things like that.
(11:29):
I took every one of them that came to me.
And I don't know if you even remember this, but
every Saturday, I was working, Like every Saturday, I was
out somewhere one two times on a Saturday or Friday
night or whatever. And there were many at times where
I wasn't home and I wasn't with you. And there
are times where I regret some of the stuff that I,
(11:50):
you know, took, and I know that we needed the money,
but I do regret that I was so focused on
and so nervous about not being able to provide. And
I don't know if there's something that Drew even face faces.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
He has a different profession. So yeah, and it's funny,
I don't remember you being gone every Friday night and
Saturday night. I remember when we were dating, you were
in a bar every Friday night. But once we had Joe,
you weren't doing bar remotes at night.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
But I'm saying after we had kids, you were you
were home a lot more.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
But I I.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Entering in different contracts, and it was different in your
career as we had more kids. But I will say this,
I think that you were still very job oriented and
were you present. No, And I think it's because you
were always trying to You were working. Even when you
(12:47):
were home, you were working, and it was just different,
you know, And so it wasn't a bad thing. I mean,
we're talking about Madeline and or Tracy and Scott. He
whenever he was home, he was in his office working,
you know, And like I think that that's just a
man thing, you know.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I don't.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
And then as your kids get older and they're out
of the house, you can look back and say, geez,
I really spent all that time in the office and
I really didn't need to, but you feel that you
have to because that's what you feel you have to do.
I just think that that's the way it goes. Like you,
I was very fortunate to be a stay at home mom,
But if I could do it all over again, instead
(13:30):
of me freaking out about the house being perfectly clean.
And you know, when Joe was a baby, I would
iron his clothes and scotch guard, probably introducing so many
freaking chemicals into this baby system. But I would scotch
guard everything and iron his clothes and iron our sheets.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
And why am I wasting time on that shit? Stupid?
I barely make my bed now because I don't care.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
But it's like, not every day.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
I don't make it every day.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
But my point being, I think that you know, you
think your life should be a certain way, and I
should have been a certain wife, and I needed to
have things done a certain way for you to come
home and make sure that you know everything was a
certain way for you, and at the end of the day,
like it, just do not sweat the small things, because
(14:24):
the small things are what make life worth living for.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I was talking to our our other niece who just
had a baby and my nephew just had Our nephew
had a baby, and I asked her what kind of
dad he is, and she made a comment and she said, honestly,
she goes me and a dad has made him more
present because he works so much too. So it was
one of those things where I was like, wow, that
(14:49):
is so cool to hear that. Yeah, because I remember
coming home and I would be so tired. You'd lay
Joey on top of my chest and I would that
you were taking it out.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Yeah, well you know, I think, but you went off
of the example that you were given as a child.
And your dad worked. Yeah, you know, he was a doctor,
so he would he.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Would be at work. Yeah, a lot of a lot
of nights.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
And then so that's just that's just the example that
you have, and it's not a horrible example. It's I
think it's great. We you know, have a wonderful life
because of your work ethic. So thank you, and you know, hindsight,
we all just say, could A should have what a?
I think what's important about that? If you because we
(15:34):
can preach it to joe and tell him this is
what you should do as a parent.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
But he, you know, he'll do what he you.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
Just the cycle repeats, I think, but you know, we
just I think, gently nudge, try to be a little
bit more present. Try to be a little bit more present,
and then lead by example just being present when we're
with them. Put down your phone, when you're talking to someone,
put it down because that is not more important than
the person that you're talking to. And I think that
(16:04):
that's what we should be teaching, like, and it's difficult
when we when we're with the boys, like they're on
their phones and it's like take it out of your hand.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
It's interesting to see the couples nowadays, like the you know,
couples that are like our son's age, who wait to
get married where we didn't. We got married really early,
and they get into having a family fairly quick because
both of them are in their thirties and they're thinking
(16:34):
that maybe they got a window, that they got a fall,
and they don't really have the time to spend with
each other just being married. We didn't, but it wasn't
because of that. It was because we just got pregnant fast.
And it's interesting because I often wonder what would it
be like if couples got married in their twenties late,
(16:56):
you know, mid to late twenties, spent like five years
just being with themselves and then had kids at the
time that they're getting you know, thirties or so like
is it I wonder what would be a better situation.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
I mean, I don't know for ever be less.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Divorce, would there be more divorced? You're just living with each.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
Other, probably the same, I think, So I do I
think that I do. I don't think that divorce. I mean,
of course it is affected by how long you'd be
silly to think you could meet someone for a week,
get married and then perhaps that would not end in.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
Divorce, like you know.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
But I do think interesting for me, I think it
just wouldn't change the percentage of divorce that much. I
think that people just evolve and change in general. So
I am not the same person that I was obviously
when I was twenty when we got married, nor the
(17:56):
person I was at thirty, or the person I was
at forty.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Am I boring you?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I was contemplating at that I wanted to tell you.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
I did a little test and I left the golf
channel on for him, and he's watching the reflection the yeah, sure.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
And so I think.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
That it is you failed, by the way, by guess.
But so I think that people just change. And I
think that they feel that that you know, you fall
out of love with someone or whatever their definition of
love of love is that ooy gooy, feeling that yeah,
(18:36):
we'll go away, you know, so I don't think it
met I think it's great to try to get to
know that person. So you do have a foundation in theory,
that would be great. But bring a kid in, whether
it's right away or five years later, guess what it
all changes.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
It makes the relationship difficult more difficult.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, for sure, Yeah, you definitely have not You usually
get married, you think I have to think of another person.
It's not until you have a kid that you start
thinking of another person. I really truly believe that. I
really don't think that once you're getting married, you're like, oh,
now I get to think of them. I still think
you're thinking of yourself.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
And sometimes people even still think of themselves.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
When they have kids.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Here's an interesting stat and this is what I was
thinking about while I was watching the Golf channel and
saw exactly what was going on or golf on television.
Since since COVID year twenty twenty, couples that are dating
are dating less amount of time before they decide they're
getting married. They're choosing marriage or choosing the path of
(19:45):
marriage faster than they were prior to that. Wonder Well,
I think that a lot of I think it became
more of a real thing, where it was like a
reality that came into them their play of how life
can change so fast at that time. So I think
many people are more choosing if they're in a relationship
dating to date less amount of time and go for
(20:06):
a full, more full commitment. Now they have to be
together for at least a year because a lot of
the relationships they say are ending fast. A lot of
people are going through relationships faster since COVID too, so
they're going on more dates and less spending time with
each other. All right, So I want to ask this question.
(20:27):
We have always said that the best time that you
and I have had in our relationship, the time that
you have felt the most love, the time that I
probably was the most attentive, were the three times that
we had kids, the times that you were pregnant.
Speaker 5 (20:41):
First no, not pregnant, No, I've always said that it
was the first twenty four hours after I gave birth
to each chime.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Just twenty four hours.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
Yeah, basically, I.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
Mean, I'm just saying like I could have said anything
to you and you would have agreed.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
You would have Who's going to tell a woman who
just gave birth to a baby.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Okay, well for sure, So I'm just saying those first
twenty four hours, it's not when I was pregnant, It's
not when I you know, the first I will the
best year of our marriage for me was the first
year of Luke's life.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
But the first the best, best.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Year of our marriage was Luke.
Speaker 5 (21:17):
I've told you that before, So okay, I just felt
like for our marriage and for our family. You know,
he was put in nick you when he was born,
goofy fluky thing and he was in there for two
days and it was silly thing. And I just think
for me it made you know, And there was seven
(21:38):
and nine years in between the boys, and so it
was just a different thing being a mom. At that point,
I thought I was completely done. There's a lot of emotions,
and that first year I just felt like our family
so it was so much more complete and any.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
But this it's interesting because it may not be the
best year of our marriage been the best that you
felt it because I think our marriage always after the
babies were born, was good. But it's interesting that you
say that the Luke one was the.
Speaker 5 (22:14):
One the best, but that that can be for me,
it doesn't have to be for you. But for me,
I would say that was my most favorite year in
our marriage.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
For sure.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
I think that for me, the.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Three times that we had kids, those times were always
for me my happiest times in our marriage because I
think that you do not think of yourself, you have
somebody else that you got to think about. For me,
it was thinking about you who just gave birth to
a baby, and making sure that you're healthy, but also
thinking of this new baby. But then when we had
(22:51):
number two and number three, thinking of how are the
other kids doing? With being now a little lower on
the totem pole.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Yeah, because Joe was the first grandchild, the first child
on my side. He was the first grandchild, and we
lived in Tucson, and so he was not the first
grandchild in your family. But so the world stopped and
started with him, and the moon and sun rose and
sat with him. So he was just like everything. And
(23:24):
when we had Jacob, he stopped talking to me for
two weeks. He would not talk to me. I would
have to call my mom every morning because I would,
you know, because typically he would every morning call for me, Mom,
I'm awake, and so I would go and get him.
He wouldn't call for me, he would just look. I
would go in the room, he'd be sitting there looking
at me with a binky in his mouth, and then
(23:47):
I would do you want breakfast? He wouldn't talk. Do
you remember, like it was the I it was awful,
And I'd call my mom or call my neighbor Sean
and say, can you just like talk to him? And
at does he want breakfast?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Does he? You know? It was awful?
Speaker 5 (24:04):
And then he was over it in two weeks and
we went forward and the boys were older with Luke,
and so it was a little bit hard. Jacob and
I were so so so so so so so so close,
So it's a little bit harder telling him, telling Jacob
that I was pregnant and I was so worried when
(24:25):
he came to the hospital, but he loved his little brother.
That changed as they got older. They went through a
little little thing. But they're better now.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
So the other times that I thought our marriage was
at its best or one of the better moments is
a tragedy. Was the moments that right after I had
my heart stuff. And then honestly, I felt like right
after your going through what you went through this past
year with your surgery, like I felt like at that
(24:57):
moment that things were or when you were going through
that moment prior to it, like you know, you were
more open with me, talking to me about what you
were going through, like you know, and being honest with
me about how you're feeling, and even if you were
complaining about something or upset about something.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
You know, before I got my surgery.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Before you had your surgery, and then because I'm right, afterwards,
and then then the bottom fell out, you know, a
couple of months.
Speaker 5 (25:24):
After well, no, no, no, I remember you asking me
how I was feeling, and I was trying to keep
it all to myself.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
One night, like just how are you feeling?
Speaker 5 (25:32):
I said, do you really want to know? And You're like, yeah,
tell me how you're doing. And I remember I told
you because you know, I'm a research girl, So I
researched the heck out.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Of the cancer.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
And I said, this is going to happen next and
this is going to happen, and this is going to
don't know when, but this has happened.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
This has happened. And you got up out of bed
and like I said, where are you going to sit up? Okay?
I have a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Yeah, because I thought you were doing better than than you.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Were, and I can hide it very well.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Which my advice to anybody stop researching.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
You know, so I don't think so if you're a
person that needs the research. Like I have said before,
and I'll keep on saying again, unfortunately, my cancer will
come back.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
I don't want.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
I want to be a little prepared, you know, I want.
I and I know that that is crazy for some people,
but I and I'm not sitting here, you know, in
misery waiting for it to come back. But I just
want to be knowledgeable. And I don't you know, it's
a it is an awful thing to hear that you
(26:41):
have cancer, you know, So anyway, I don't we don't
talk about it.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
No, I know. I think it's good for you to.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
And you've talked about this before on that podcast around
this podcast, you've talked about, you know, the the always
making sure that you are your own advocate, but also
knowing what's kind of ahead. And I think it's you
and I disagree on this because I think that don't
put your head in the sand. But also you can't
live your life thinking it's coming next you know, because
(27:10):
otherwise life becomes a little bit more of a drain.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
But with that said, for your husband, no.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
I I want to end the podcast with this. When
we saw Madeline and we saw Drew.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
Well, first of all, you asked the question, if we
had to do it all over again, would we have
kids again? You ask a question in the beginning, and
sometimes you don't answer it.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Well, then it's your responsibility to.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I'm telling you right now, you ask the question.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
You're the would you if you had to do it
all over again, would you.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Have I would had more? Me too, I would have
gone gone forward again. I mean when we got pregnant
with Luke, you were fast and you know, get a sectomy.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Well, I thought we were done.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
I mean really truly, Jacob had been kindergarten for two
weeks and I found out I was pregnant, and I
was like, oh my gosh, the freedom.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
You were done. You were like this is this is it?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
And honestly I was along for the ride because, to
be honest with you, at that time, when we had two,
I was happy with two yeah, and didn't like you.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
We are we not planning?
Speaker 4 (28:18):
We never we never planned for three.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
But did we ever sit down in our relationship and
say we wanted zero like the I want four kids.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
I want three kids. I want to we never had
that company.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I think couple should do that well.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
I think you should go in and have an idea. Listen.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
My fear though, is you do that though, and you
if you can't have four kids, you feel like.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
But I'm just saying, we never said to each other
I want to have You know, when I look into
the future and see our family, I see three kids,
four kids, whatever, like we an abundance, endless amount of children,
like I don't think. I think in my head I
always wanted a daughter. We did get a daughter, you know.
(29:01):
But yes, when Luke was one, we had a scare.
I thought I was pregnant again, and I said, go
get aasectomy right now because the pregnancy test came back negative.
And now I regret that a lot. I wish we
would have had one more, but that's okay. It just
wasn't in the cards for us.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I think, looking at it now, for couples that are
like our son, you know, will be getting married in
the next year, Madeline and Drew, all those couples, I
think that you should kind of have an idea of
what you want to do, but I also say don't
limit yourself, Like there are some couples that I think
limit themselves because they think it's just going to be
(29:40):
too tough. And I know that there are, you know,
struggles that you're going to face financially or struggles you're
going to face.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
We can have a plan, but also be flexible knowing
that it just may not be what happens.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
And that's okay.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
What would you have done? You know?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
I know you said I wanted the fourth looking into
what we know right now? Do you ever think that
you could be like one of those couples like my
family and have six kids or those big families?
Speaker 5 (30:13):
Yes, I do, Like I yeah, why did we stop,
you know, other than I just think we talked about adoption.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
We did.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
We talked about that. We talked about it twice.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
We talked about it when Jacob was born, when he
was a baby, and we talked about it a little
bit after Luke when we had Luke. For what it
was it over a year or so, a couple of years,
and we were like, let's look at adoption, and it
was something that I think I still think that you know,
I kind of regret. I regret after Jacob that we
(30:46):
never really fought and pursued because we were this close
to adopting a little girl and that ended up being
denied because of what I do.
Speaker 5 (30:57):
For a living, was not because we we wouldn't take
all of her siblings.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
Well, I still think there was a little political stuff
there too, you.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Can think of that, but yeah, it was, yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
It was Yeah, how many siblings did she have?
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Five? So we would have had eight, five, six, seven kids.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
We would have been like the you'd have been the
octo mom.
Speaker 5 (31:19):
No, because that's eight but seven kids. And yeah, it
was just a crazy situation.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Crazy crazy, which is to me is like and I
guess they want to keep the kids together.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
But it was such a bad I don't think anybody
ended up.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
I know, I wonder if they had what just wasn't
meant to be. But yeah, that was a crazy time.
And then that other time when there was a baby
that was we.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Had gotten a phone call that a baby was going
to be born and the mom wanted to give the
baby up for adoption and then it just didn't work
out and wanted to just pick pick the family. Yeah,
which I think would have been wild to adopt a
baby and have the mom know who we were, you know,
because then you'd always fear that there's gonna be a
(32:03):
doorbell ringing. All right, that does it for this podcast
that we don't podcast. We can still have babies.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
I can go back and actually we can't have babies
because I have no I can have a surrogate.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Okay, can I pick her up?
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Goodbye,
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half
Chelsea on this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Coming up on this episode of the We Dome Podcast,
if we did it all over again, would.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
We even want to have kids? Yes, they think I'm
supposed to answer it him the teas well.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
All right, all right, all right, without further delay, here
are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
All Right, So we just got back from going to
a baby shower for my sister's daughter, our niece, Madeleine,
and I want to talk about that. I also want
to talk about the fact that it was just Valentine's
Day and we are the hitting me of what couples
should never look at when it comes to how do
(01:03):
you spend a Valentine's.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Couple should never look at.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Don't look at us as an example of Valentine's Day,
everybody around us was enjoying Valentine's Day.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
We were in Chicago.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We witnessed probably some of the worst traffic I've ever
seen ever in that city. Restaurants were packed, the hotel
that we were staying at had people checking in for
you know, Valentine's Day, And there you and I were
the example of what not to be on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I did not.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
My most least favorite stinking Instagram post was my.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Forever Valentine, My forever Valentine?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And who was it that did everyone everyone at the gag?
Why do you say that I think we were one
time romantic?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I really do.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Like you used to do things like used to make
you know, boxes with you know things in it and
stuff like that for me. Things you would have like
special thing like my favorite stuff. Like I remember that
we were that couple at one point where you know,
I did exactly what I do all the time. Now,
I just went to the mall and bought you something.
You would make things for me like you were into
(02:16):
that at one point, Probably you lost your love for me.
I'm not your forever Valentine. The problem, though, is I'm
the guy that's with you forever on Valentine's Right.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
That's true. So far?
Speaker 3 (02:29):
What is it? Where do we lose it? Where did
that go away?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Because I still see old couples that seem like they
love each other and they're still in We.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Don't love each other, It's just that we don't celebrate.
I don't know. I don't remember the last time you and.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
I like celebrated Valentine's Day or even and we talked
about it with your siblings, which they don't really celebrate
it either. It's not another married couple, couple, married couples
that were at the shower, they don't celebrate it.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
We don't.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I don't think we're out of the ordinary. We were
amongst a lot of people have been married for a
long time, and they they don't celebrate it. I don't
feel bad. I think we are in the majority versus
the minority.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Is Valentine's Day just a holiday for us?
Speaker 4 (03:12):
It's a home holiday?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yeah, it's and really like newlyweds.
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Listen, even our niece who it was her baby shower
we were at and she's been married for it'll be
three years, I think three or four years, three years
and uh, I said, well, do you and Drew celebrate it?
And she said no, it's stupid homark holiday. She says that.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Baby inside of her right now there?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Know, even her husband said it.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I yeah, Well, listen, Drew's gonna say whatever she's going
to say because he's a guy, and most guys are
like that.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
They follow.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
So I'm telling you what people said.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I do think though that you know, it's a good
example of do we need one day for that, you know?
Or is it better to have it be that if
you are going to do something for your forever Valentine,
that you do it on a random day that makes
them feel like, oh my god, holy you know crap.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
You know, they they were thinking of me.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
You know.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
I'm just wondering for the people who post, you know,
my forever Valentine, if they happened to break up and
then they'd start dating someone else or they get married
to someone else, is that.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Person there forever Valentine?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Or does that person look back at their past.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Social social media post?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Do you look back at do you look back on
somebody's past social media post going you said this one time?
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Because it's all in the stories. I mean, they're probably
very smart about it. It's all on the stories. But
I was like, oh, fre's I love.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I will say this.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I thought it was cute when we were at the
hotel that there were a lot of moms and dads
that just took their kids to have like staycations that
looked like because it didn't look like they were from
out of town, they look like that's.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Like I definitely when the boys lived here and when
they were little, I did Valentine's for them and with
them when they did them for school.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
You know, that was fun.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
It's just like, you know, you make our relationships sometimes
with the way that you talk about it, you make
it look like we don't.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I think, enjoy each other.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Listen, that's not true.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
That is not true because you are actually a romantic person.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like you're a person that does when I say this,
it's not about what you do for me, like buying
a gift or you know, making something for me. It's
that there are I know that when we are in
a moment of need or there is a moment where
you know you miss me, then I know that the
(05:42):
love comes out.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
Well listen, and it does. I think our love is
shown in every day. It's just by sitting down and
having conversation with each other and you know, asking how
your day was. And it doesn't have to be this
grand gesture where there are balloons and flowers and I'm
confessing my undying love for you on social media. A
(06:06):
I'm not that person anyway, Like I just don't do that.
But you know, I think that for myself. Real love
is in the everyday gestures. It doesn't have to be
once a year that it has to come out and
be you know, proven by because that's that's the thing too.
(06:29):
Like honestly, it's like who can do the bigger better Valentine.
It's funny, it's actually very funny. But but and also
if that's how you if the if.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (06:41):
The gifts are the love language of gifts. If that
is your love language, then that is probably a perfect
holiday for you. You know, mine is not gift giving
or gift receiving or gifts like mine is.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Now, you're not just kidding.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Your just quality time minus quality time.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
I thought we actually had good quality time driving to
and from.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
The drive home was long.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
You were tired of me by that boy.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
It wasn't, no, it just seemed like it was really long.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
The way there, we had really good conversation.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
We had good conversation on the way home too, but
it was just long. It was a long drive.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
So we went to Chicago to go for this baby shower,
which is a really and.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
She's having a boy found the shower.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Which was exciting, you know for us because we know
what it's like that boys and we love and exciting for.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Them because it's very bittersweet. This is your sister's husband
who has early on set Alzheimer's. Yeah, they only had girls,
so this is the first boy in their family.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
And it's funny because Madeline, who is having the boy,
kind of was Scott's daughter and his boy because he
was obsessed with cars, loved cars, and Madelene loved cars
and would go with her dad to do all kinds
of car stuff. And so there is something that that
is kind of I don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Beautiful about that.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
It's like God's you know, message back to Madeleine, you
know what I mean in this time where she's watching
her dad just deteriorate.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
It's really it was very emotional.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
It was it was tough to see that because knew
nothing of what was going on.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
It's awful to these it was a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful shower.
And then yeah, to know that he just doesn't understand.
It's just yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I have to tell you though, when I saw Madeline
and Drew, I saw a little bit of us in them.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
And because you always say you see yourself.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And Drew, well, no, everybody keeps telling me that that
Drew reminds them of Yeah, which I will say this
about Drew. I thought that this was perfect for him
because he's going to be a great boy dad. You know,
he's a former football played Michigan and he is just
a big, you know, solid dude. But I watched those
(09:06):
two and I watched how Madeleine is really like focused
and she kind of knows what's going on, and Drew's
like along for the ride, but he seems like he
knows his stuff. Like I'm listening to him talk about
all the things. I can tell that they talk a
lot about this baby and the you know, needs that
they will need for being able to raise this baby.
(09:26):
The biggest piece of advice I want to give to them,
and this is kind of what I wanted to kind
of talk about in this podcast because I think many
who listen to this have kids. Biggest piece of advice
that I wish I could give to somebody that is
having kids is go with the flow a little bit more.
I really do think that one of the things that
you don't learn going into your first baby that you
(09:49):
kind of learn once you have maybe two or three,
is that you took things a little too crazy serious.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Well that's why the first one.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It's always neurotic, right, So if Madeleine's listening, you don't
want to have a joey you know. No, I wish
I wish I was more attentive to enjoying the moments
that we had where I'm sure that you probably wish
that you were maybe even a little less attentive and
just started enjoying the moment.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
No, I wish I would have enjoyed the moment more, for.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Sure, because one of the things I think I was attentive.
I wish I focused on something that I truly would
love to advise Drew or anybody that's gonna be a
future dad, and that is, don't worry about am I
able to support this child? Because that was the biggest
worry that I had going into it. Because we had
(10:43):
no time for us to be just a married couple.
We went right into We got married, you got pregnant,
We needed to buy a house because we were living
in a small apartment, and everything kept piling on. In
a job like I have in radio, it was not
a Okay, what's going to happen in the future, It
(11:07):
was am I going to have a job in the future,
because that's always been this career. And I think that
one of the things that I didn't even think about
was and I don't know if you remember this, we
did a lot of those appearances, like I'd do side gigs,
I'd go to bars, I'd go to cell phone stores,
I'd do you know, car dealership remotes and things like that.
(11:29):
I took every one of them that came to me.
And I don't know if you even remember this, but
every Saturday, I was working, Like every Saturday, I was
out somewhere one two times on a Saturday or Friday
night or whatever. And there were many at times where
I wasn't home and I wasn't with you. And there
are times where I regret some of the stuff that I,
(11:50):
you know, took, and I know that we needed the money,
but I do regret that I was so focused on
and so nervous about not being able to provide. And
I don't know if there's something that Drew even face faces.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
He has a different profession. So yeah, and it's funny,
I don't remember you being gone every Friday night and
Saturday night. I remember when we were dating, you were
in a bar every Friday night. But once we had Joe,
you weren't doing bar remotes at night.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
But I'm saying after we had kids, you were you
were home a lot more.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
But I I.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Entering in different contracts, and it was different in your
career as we had more kids. But I will say this,
I think that you were still very job oriented and
were you present. No, And I think it's because you
were always trying to You were working. Even when you
(12:47):
were home, you were working, and it was just different,
you know, And so it wasn't a bad thing. I mean,
we're talking about Madeline and or Tracy and Scott. He
whenever he was home, he was in his office working,
you know, And like I think that that's just a
man thing, you know.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I don't.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
And then as your kids get older and they're out
of the house, you can look back and say, geez,
I really spent all that time in the office and
I really didn't need to, but you feel that you
have to because that's what you feel you have to do.
I just think that that's the way it goes. Like you,
I was very fortunate to be a stay at home mom,
But if I could do it all over again, instead
(13:30):
of me freaking out about the house being perfectly clean.
And you know, when Joe was a baby, I would
iron his clothes and scotch guard, probably introducing so many
freaking chemicals into this baby system. But I would scotch
guard everything and iron his clothes and iron our sheets.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
And why am I wasting time on that shit? Stupid?
I barely make my bed now because I don't care.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
But it's like, not every day.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
I don't make it every day.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
But my point being, I think that you know, you
think your life should be a certain way, and I
should have been a certain wife, and I needed to
have things done a certain way for you to come
home and make sure that you know everything was a
certain way for you, and at the end of the day,
like it, just do not sweat the small things, because
(14:24):
the small things are what make life worth living for.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I was talking to our our other niece who just
had a baby and my nephew just had Our nephew
had a baby, and I asked her what kind of
dad he is, and she made a comment and she said, honestly,
she goes me and a dad has made him more
present because he works so much too. So it was
one of those things where I was like, wow, that
(14:49):
is so cool to hear that. Yeah, because I remember
coming home and I would be so tired. You'd lay
Joey on top of my chest and I would that
you were taking it out.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Yeah, well you know, I think, but you went off
of the example that you were given as a child.
And your dad worked. Yeah, you know, he was a doctor,
so he would he.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Would be at work. Yeah, a lot of a lot
of nights.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
And then so that's just that's just the example that
you have, and it's not a horrible example. It's I
think it's great. We you know, have a wonderful life
because of your work ethic. So thank you, and you know, hindsight,
we all just say, could A should have what a?
I think what's important about that? If you because we
(15:34):
can preach it to joe and tell him this is
what you should do as a parent.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
But he, you know, he'll do what he you.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
Just the cycle repeats, I think, but you know, we
just I think, gently nudge, try to be a little
bit more present. Try to be a little bit more present,
and then lead by example just being present when we're
with them. Put down your phone, when you're talking to someone,
put it down because that is not more important than
the person that you're talking to. And I think that
(16:04):
that's what we should be teaching, like, and it's difficult
when we when we're with the boys, like they're on
their phones and it's like take it out of your hand.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
It's interesting to see the couples nowadays, like the you know,
couples that are like our son's age, who wait to
get married where we didn't. We got married really early,
and they get into having a family fairly quick because
both of them are in their thirties and they're thinking
(16:34):
that maybe they got a window, that they got a fall,
and they don't really have the time to spend with
each other just being married. We didn't, but it wasn't
because of that. It was because we just got pregnant fast.
And it's interesting because I often wonder what would it
be like if couples got married in their twenties late,
(16:56):
you know, mid to late twenties, spent like five years
just being with themselves and then had kids at the
time that they're getting you know, thirties or so like
is it I wonder what would be a better situation.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
I mean, I don't know for ever be less.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Divorce, would there be more divorced? You're just living with each.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
Other, probably the same, I think, So I do I
think that I do. I don't think that divorce. I mean,
of course it is affected by how long you'd be
silly to think you could meet someone for a week,
get married and then perhaps that would not end in.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
Divorce, like you know.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
But I do think interesting for me, I think it
just wouldn't change the percentage of divorce that much. I
think that people just evolve and change in general. So
I am not the same person that I was obviously
when I was twenty when we got married, nor the
(17:56):
person I was at thirty, or the person I was
at forty.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Am I boring you?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I was contemplating at that I wanted to tell you.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
I did a little test and I left the golf
channel on for him, and he's watching the reflection the yeah, sure.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
And so I think.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
That it is you failed, by the way, by guess.
But so I think that people just change. And I
think that they feel that that you know, you fall
out of love with someone or whatever their definition of
love of love is that ooy gooy, feeling that yeah,
(18:36):
we'll go away, you know, so I don't think it
met I think it's great to try to get to
know that person. So you do have a foundation in theory,
that would be great. But bring a kid in, whether
it's right away or five years later, guess what it
all changes.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
It makes the relationship difficult more difficult.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, for sure, Yeah, you definitely have not You usually
get married, you think I have to think of another person.
It's not until you have a kid that you start
thinking of another person. I really truly believe that. I
really don't think that once you're getting married, you're like, oh,
now I get to think of them. I still think
you're thinking of yourself.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
And sometimes people even still think of themselves.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
When they have kids.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Here's an interesting stat and this is what I was
thinking about while I was watching the Golf channel and
saw exactly what was going on or golf on television.
Since since COVID year twenty twenty, couples that are dating
are dating less amount of time before they decide they're
getting married. They're choosing marriage or choosing the path of
(19:45):
marriage faster than they were prior to that. Wonder Well,
I think that a lot of I think it became
more of a real thing, where it was like a
reality that came into them their play of how life
can change so fast at that time. So I think
many people are more choosing if they're in a relationship
dating to date less amount of time and go for
(20:06):
a full, more full commitment. Now they have to be
together for at least a year because a lot of
the relationships they say are ending fast. A lot of
people are going through relationships faster since COVID too, so
they're going on more dates and less spending time with
each other. All right, So I want to ask this question.
(20:27):
We have always said that the best time that you
and I have had in our relationship, the time that
you have felt the most love, the time that I
probably was the most attentive, were the three times that
we had kids, the times that you were pregnant.
Speaker 5 (20:41):
First no, not pregnant, No, I've always said that it
was the first twenty four hours after I gave birth
to each chime.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Just twenty four hours.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
Yeah, basically, I.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
Mean, I'm just saying like I could have said anything
to you and you would have agreed.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
You would have Who's going to tell a woman who
just gave birth to a baby.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Okay, well for sure, So I'm just saying those first
twenty four hours, it's not when I was pregnant, It's
not when I you know, the first I will the
best year of our marriage for me was the first
year of Luke's life.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
But the first the best, best.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Year of our marriage was Luke.
Speaker 5 (21:17):
I've told you that before, So okay, I just felt
like for our marriage and for our family. You know,
he was put in nick you when he was born,
goofy fluky thing and he was in there for two
days and it was silly thing. And I just think
for me it made you know, And there was seven
(21:38):
and nine years in between the boys, and so it
was just a different thing being a mom. At that point,
I thought I was completely done. There's a lot of emotions,
and that first year I just felt like our family
so it was so much more complete and any.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
But this it's interesting because it may not be the
best year of our marriage been the best that you
felt it because I think our marriage always after the
babies were born, was good. But it's interesting that you
say that the Luke one was the.
Speaker 5 (22:14):
One the best, but that that can be for me,
it doesn't have to be for you. But for me,
I would say that was my most favorite year in
our marriage.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
For sure.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
I think that for me, the.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Three times that we had kids, those times were always
for me my happiest times in our marriage because I
think that you do not think of yourself, you have
somebody else that you got to think about. For me,
it was thinking about you who just gave birth to
a baby, and making sure that you're healthy, but also
thinking of this new baby. But then when we had
(22:51):
number two and number three, thinking of how are the
other kids doing? With being now a little lower on
the totem pole.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Yeah, because Joe was the first grandchild, the first child
on my side. He was the first grandchild, and we
lived in Tucson, and so he was not the first
grandchild in your family. But so the world stopped and
started with him, and the moon and sun rose and
sat with him. So he was just like everything. And
(23:24):
when we had Jacob, he stopped talking to me for
two weeks. He would not talk to me. I would
have to call my mom every morning because I would,
you know, because typically he would every morning call for me, Mom,
I'm awake, and so I would go and get him.
He wouldn't call for me, he would just look. I
would go in the room, he'd be sitting there looking
at me with a binky in his mouth, and then
(23:47):
I would do you want breakfast? He wouldn't talk. Do
you remember, like it was the I it was awful,
And I'd call my mom or call my neighbor Sean
and say, can you just like talk to him? And
at does he want breakfast?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Does he? You know? It was awful?
Speaker 5 (24:04):
And then he was over it in two weeks and
we went forward and the boys were older with Luke,
and so it was a little bit hard. Jacob and
I were so so so so so so so so close,
So it's a little bit harder telling him, telling Jacob
that I was pregnant and I was so worried when
(24:25):
he came to the hospital, but he loved his little brother.
That changed as they got older. They went through a
little little thing. But they're better now.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
So the other times that I thought our marriage was
at its best or one of the better moments is
a tragedy. Was the moments that right after I had
my heart stuff. And then honestly, I felt like right
after your going through what you went through this past
year with your surgery, like I felt like at that
(24:57):
moment that things were or when you were going through
that moment prior to it, like you know, you were
more open with me, talking to me about what you
were going through, like you know, and being honest with
me about how you're feeling, and even if you were
complaining about something or upset about something.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
You know, before I got my surgery.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Before you had your surgery, and then because I'm right, afterwards,
and then then the bottom fell out, you know, a
couple of months.
Speaker 5 (25:24):
After well, no, no, no, I remember you asking me
how I was feeling, and I was trying to keep
it all to myself.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
One night, like just how are you feeling?
Speaker 5 (25:32):
I said, do you really want to know? And You're like, yeah,
tell me how you're doing. And I remember I told
you because you know, I'm a research girl, So I
researched the heck out.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Of the cancer.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
And I said, this is going to happen next and
this is going to happen, and this is going to
don't know when, but this has happened.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
This has happened. And you got up out of bed
and like I said, where are you going to sit up? Okay?
I have a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Yeah, because I thought you were doing better than than you.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Were, and I can hide it very well.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Which my advice to anybody stop researching.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
You know, so I don't think so if you're a
person that needs the research. Like I have said before,
and I'll keep on saying again, unfortunately, my cancer will
come back.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
I don't want.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
I want to be a little prepared, you know, I want.
I and I know that that is crazy for some people,
but I and I'm not sitting here, you know, in
misery waiting for it to come back. But I just
want to be knowledgeable. And I don't you know, it's
a it is an awful thing to hear that you
(26:41):
have cancer, you know, So anyway, I don't we don't
talk about it.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
No, I know. I think it's good for you to.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
And you've talked about this before on that podcast around
this podcast, you've talked about, you know, the the always
making sure that you are your own advocate, but also
knowing what's kind of ahead. And I think it's you
and I disagree on this because I think that don't
put your head in the sand. But also you can't
live your life thinking it's coming next you know, because
(27:10):
otherwise life becomes a little bit more of a drain.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
But with that said, for your husband, no.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
I I want to end the podcast with this. When
we saw Madeline and we saw Drew.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
Well, first of all, you asked the question, if we
had to do it all over again, would we have
kids again? You ask a question in the beginning, and
sometimes you don't answer it.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Well, then it's your responsibility to.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I'm telling you right now, you ask the question.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
You're the would you if you had to do it
all over again, would you.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Have I would had more? Me too, I would have
gone gone forward again. I mean when we got pregnant
with Luke, you were fast and you know, get a sectomy.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Well, I thought we were done.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
I mean really truly, Jacob had been kindergarten for two
weeks and I found out I was pregnant, and I
was like, oh my gosh, the freedom.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
You were done. You were like this is this is it?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
And honestly I was along for the ride because, to
be honest with you, at that time, when we had two,
I was happy with two yeah, and didn't like you.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
We are we not planning?
Speaker 4 (28:18):
We never we never planned for three.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
But did we ever sit down in our relationship and
say we wanted zero like the I want four kids.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
I want three kids. I want to we never had
that company.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I think couple should do that well.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
I think you should go in and have an idea. Listen.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
My fear though, is you do that though, and you
if you can't have four kids, you feel like.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
But I'm just saying, we never said to each other
I want to have You know, when I look into
the future and see our family, I see three kids,
four kids, whatever, like we an abundance, endless amount of children,
like I don't think. I think in my head I
always wanted a daughter. We did get a daughter, you know.
(29:01):
But yes, when Luke was one, we had a scare.
I thought I was pregnant again, and I said, go
get aasectomy right now because the pregnancy test came back negative.
And now I regret that a lot. I wish we
would have had one more, but that's okay. It just
wasn't in the cards for us.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I think, looking at it now, for couples that are
like our son, you know, will be getting married in
the next year, Madeline and Drew, all those couples, I
think that you should kind of have an idea of
what you want to do, but I also say don't
limit yourself, Like there are some couples that I think
limit themselves because they think it's just going to be
(29:40):
too tough. And I know that there are, you know,
struggles that you're going to face financially or struggles you're
going to face.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
We can have a plan, but also be flexible knowing
that it just may not be what happens.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
And that's okay.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
What would you have done? You know?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
I know you said I wanted the fourth looking into
what we know right now? Do you ever think that
you could be like one of those couples like my
family and have six kids or those big families?
Speaker 5 (30:13):
Yes, I do, Like I yeah, why did we stop,
you know, other than I just think we talked about adoption.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
We did.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
We talked about that. We talked about it twice.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
We talked about it when Jacob was born, when he
was a baby, and we talked about it a little
bit after Luke when we had Luke. For what it
was it over a year or so, a couple of years,
and we were like, let's look at adoption, and it
was something that I think I still think that you know,
I kind of regret. I regret after Jacob that we
(30:46):
never really fought and pursued because we were this close
to adopting a little girl and that ended up being
denied because of what I do.
Speaker 5 (30:57):
For a living, was not because we we wouldn't take
all of her siblings.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
Well, I still think there was a little political stuff
there too, you.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Can think of that, but yeah, it was, yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
It was Yeah, how many siblings did she have?
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Five? So we would have had eight, five, six, seven kids.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
We would have been like the you'd have been the
octo mom.
Speaker 5 (31:19):
No, because that's eight but seven kids. And yeah, it
was just a crazy situation.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Crazy crazy, which is to me is like and I
guess they want to keep the kids together.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
But it was such a bad I don't think anybody
ended up.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
I know, I wonder if they had what just wasn't
meant to be. But yeah, that was a crazy time.
And then that other time when there was a baby
that was we.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Had gotten a phone call that a baby was going
to be born and the mom wanted to give the
baby up for adoption and then it just didn't work
out and wanted to just pick pick the family. Yeah,
which I think would have been wild to adopt a
baby and have the mom know who we were, you know,
because then you'd always fear that there's gonna be a
(32:03):
doorbell ringing. All right, that does it for this podcast
that we don't podcast. We can still have babies.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
I can go back and actually we can't have babies
because I have no I can have a surrogate.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Okay, can I pick her up?
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Goodbye,
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