March 9, 2026 • 33 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
On this episode coming up on this episode of the
weed Dome podcast. Wow, what a couple of weeks it's been.
We've been dealing with some family stuff. Chelsea almost got
kidnapped by the cartel, and we will talk about all
of this.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
So, what a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
We took a couple of weeks off because we had
some time off like for the whatever the vacation is
that I take, is what the president's of that? And
then we went away. We went down to Florida and
didn't do a podcast before we left. We probably should have.
We should probably tape like a bunch of them. But
I feel like you and I are at a point
(01:10):
of exhaustion talking to each other for such a long
period of time.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
I don't think that's it for me. For me, it's
that we're just wrapped up trying to get things done
before we leave, and so this is kind of like,
oh shit, we should have done a podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, But I also think that we like, you know,
some people like tape podcasts. Like when I talk to
people who do like a regular podcast, they do like
four in a row, and I feel like I can't
do that because I want to get all my thoughts
out in one and then it takes me like a
little bit of time to kind of you know, it's
almost like the difference between doing a show and doing
a podcast. You have the next day you can talk
(01:46):
about the next thing you want to see.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Our podcasts are thirty minutes long because you can't handle
more than thirty minutes. So if you really think about it.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I'm just talking to me, Chelsea is a long time correct.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
But I bet if we like planned it out and
had our top like what were topic per each episode
of what we wanted to talk about, I bet you
we can knock out two to three.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
And no, well, okay there, I'm.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Just saying, I bet we could. I bet we in
the way because you're just so you can't handle. When
you see a three in the minute, it is not
the case. It's going you cannot hand.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I have kept it that thirty minutes is a perfect
time for people to be able to just kind of
get enough and want more. And if you go I mean,
an hour might be okay. But I think once you
start going past that, like when I start seeing podcast
like I don't know, Joe Rogan Experiences.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
And look how successful that is.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I get it. But you have to really dedicate yourself
to three and a half hour.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I think sometimes people listen to it, stop, come back
to it, listen to it like you're not sitting there,
or long commutes whatever, anyway, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
All right. So we were off for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Then we had, you know, Luke had his trip, and
I want to talk about this. I want to talk
about the getting together as a couple that are parenting,
you know, children and being on the same page and
then following through with it because we both had to
(03:18):
kind of deal with whole you know, Luke going away
and he was going to Mexico, and initially we weren't
even happy about them going to Mexico. And then all
of a sudden, a week before he's leaving, the week
of the this thing happens down in you know, floor
or in Mexico and Porta Varta where they had this
whole cartel stuff going on, and we are freaking out
(03:41):
and I'm looking at Luke's friends, and I don't know.
Maybe we just are insulated and we don't know a
lot of his friends', you know, families. Nobody seems like
they're freaked out about their kid going across the border
to Mexico.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Well. I think part of it too, though, is a
lot of parents were like, well, they spent the money
and their adults and they need to make the decision.
A lot of the kids weren't supposed to leave the property.
Some did, but they were not supposed to leave the property.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
You know.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
They said, Okay, fine, you can go, but you then
you don't leave the hotel. So that was the deal
with Luke was first, you know, at first it was like, no,
you're not going. Then okay, you can go, but then
we'll well, it was let's just monitor the situation and
see what's going on. Because as the threat as they
(04:35):
because a threat went from originally, I guess it's always
a two. By the way, Cancun is always at a
threat level two out of four or five five, maybe
can't remember.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
The embassy will rate the threat level of the places
of the states in Mexico.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
But there was a car. There're literally a card town.
I don't even care if it's one through five. They're
literally it was a cartel, and you know, crazy.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
That was twenty six hours away.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
We had this fight on the air and somebody said, well,
it'd be like if there was a terrorist event in Texas,
you know, you'd still go to Florida. It's a totally
different country.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Though. That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
If if there was something that happened in our country,
I would be fine with it because at least you're
in our country. And I will say this to you.
You and I both kind of sat down and said,
all right, we don't like Luke going. Let's think of
alternatives for him, and we're going to try to talk
him out of you know this, because we're going to
both stand on this.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
And then it was.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Okay, we'll give it a few days to see if
things settle down, and we'll kind of judge by that.
And Luke actually in the beginning was you know, the
typical tantrum thing like where he got really upset. Then
he started calming down, maybe thinking they never follow through.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
With anything, you know, probably.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And then it came to all of a sudden, you going,
and I'm like, like, what in the world is going
on here?
Speaker 3 (06:02):
So how do how did it get to all? Right,
I'll just go with.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
So we were, like you said, we were in Florida
when all of that happened, and at first I was like,
absolutely not. And then as the days went on and
the threat for Cancuon came down. So if all of
(06:28):
that had happened in Cancuon, he never would have gone.
And he and I talked about even agreed, I wouldn't
want to go if that happened in Cancuon, so he said,
Or if they were going to Portavarda, Yeah, correct, But
all of that had happened in Port of Iota, and
so I as you see the threat level calm down
and go back to where it consistently is at a two,
(06:49):
I thought, well, you know, is it safe for him. Listen,
something can happen to him in East Lansing there where
was a school shooting at And then.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Justify what you're going. I think you're trying to do that.
I don't think you need to.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Well, I'm getting how I came to this conclusion in
my head. So call it what you want. But that
so safety is you are. Safety is a relative term
as far as that goes, Yes, you're in another country.
I did not feel one hundred percent comfortable with him,
(07:27):
even like you said before going, because it's just dangerous.
And I worry, honestly, quite honestly, less about the cartel
and more about them being idiots and getting hauled off
to jail and sitting in a Mexican jail, and then
I have to go fly out there, bribe him and
get out of you know, bribe them and get him
(07:48):
out of jail. So I was like, Okay. I was
on my flight home from Florida and I thought, I
texted you, I said, who do you think out of
my crazy friend? What if I went? And who do
you think I could convince to go with me? And
you gave me two names, And so I texted my
(08:09):
friend Courtney and I said, do you want to go?
How crazy would it be? Would you want to meet
me in Cancun Saturday through Thursday? And She's like, heck, yeah,
I will, like didn't even hesitate, and I said, well,
I'm in a plane right now. Can you look up hotels?
Her son works for Marriott, so we got the Marriott discount,
(08:30):
like it all fell into place. She had just she
was just in Cancun in December, and she's like, I
am not worried about any of that at all.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I actually looked at it as this is a great
opportunity to have him not go, because I don't like
him going there anyway, for the same reasons that you said.
I'm more worried about them not getting in trouble with
the cartel, but getting in trouble with the fire at
or whatever, right, and which is pretty good that I
(09:03):
remember that that's what they call their cops, the federal rallies.
And it does worry me them being stupid, because I
know how stupid they are in East Lansing.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
I also have this to say.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I talked to your dad, and I was really surprised
by your dad's response, but I kind of agreed, and
then also was a little bit in a little bit
of disbelief. I asked your dad what he thought, and
your dad gave me an interesting perspective. Your dad basically said,
Luke's an adult, and you know what, you can't keep
(09:38):
coddling him. And I sat there and I thought to myself,
oh my god, maybe this is again, what's going on
with you know, twenty somethings and thirty somethings where their
parents are, you know, dictating what they can do? And
your dad was, you know, basically telling me, you know,
tell him just to be smart and send him on
his way and if something happens, they you know, it
(10:01):
just happens. And I was kind of surprised by that.
But then I thought to myself, our parents would be
no different, you know what I mean. Obviously this is
your dad, but my parents probably my dad probably wouldn't
even know that when I was going to Mexico. But
are we too protective of our kids? You know what
(10:21):
you did? Is that too protective to go?
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Maybe?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
I mean maybe there when I was talking to a
couple of other parents and one of them said, I
would go with you. I cannot go because I just
got back and I have to work. I took last
week off for their other suns spring break. So she said,
or I would totally go with you, because I said,
(10:47):
do you girls want to come with me?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Like?
Speaker 4 (10:49):
These are moms of other two of his roommates, and
they both were like, we cannot get off work, otherwise
we would And so when I said, Okay, I think
I might be crazy enough to do this and go
and they were just like, oh my god, thank you
so much. It makes me feel so better. I will
tell you being there and seeing it, you know, it
(11:11):
was very calm. I felt very safe, you know. And
then you can talk about how you sat next to
someone on the plane that made you even feel better
on your flight.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Defense for our government and he was like, oh, things
are fine.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, Cancun is in some kind of bubble, and it
just made me feel a lot financially. Listen, their country
relies on tourist dollars too, so and no tourist was
hurt in the porta I artist sing like, they're just
it doesn't there's a false sense of security that I
(11:50):
guess I walk out of. Bless you in our house
every day literally something can happen to us here, so
I just.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Have to I guess the way that I wanted to
kind of take this is, are we too protective of
our kids? Like our majority of the parents like us
in regards to and maybe on a smaller scale not
you know, going to Mexico and.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Well there were a lot of kids that had that
pulled out.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
But are there?
Speaker 4 (12:22):
There were?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
But are we Are we not allowing our kids just
to be adults? For everybody that's listening, Luke's twenty He's
gonna be twenty one in a month and a half, right,
And when you and I were twenty one, you know,
you were married, with child or having a child. I
just had a child, and I was with you and
(12:45):
I was engaged to you at that time. So it
is wild to think of how we parent our kids, sure,
and how we do things, you know, for them that
I know for a fact that my parents would never
do for me.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Well, my parents probably would have never let me go.
You know, if I had said, Hey, I'm going to Mexico,
they'd be like, I don't.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Even yah, making that comment to me like he would
have been.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Like, it's different. I bet it's different for girls and boys.
He probably would have let my brothers go, but I
don't think he would have let me go.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, I will say this that it did bring up
to something really interesting for me and the biggest complaint
that I have with a lot of times people who
I work with, and not specifically this crew that I
have now, because I feel like Lydia and Bianca are
that same age, and their parents I know, are protective
(13:38):
of them, but they're not like those girls are pretty worldly,
like they can figure stuff out. They go to places
and do things that you know, I honestly would if
I had a daughter, probably not want them to go
to like with both of them going to Miami and
doing things like at Lollapalooza like Bianca did in the
middle of the night, you know, hanging out, which I
(13:58):
thought was not really smart.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
But I so there's a.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Difference between, by the way, being worldly and being a
little bit naive. Bianca and I love that girl, but
she should not be on the l at three o'clock
in the morning like that. That is just that is
not being worldwinow.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
And I think that she got she got lucky that
she'd nothing happened for he stared out of her bike. Yeah,
but I do think that there's something really interesting in
the fact that, you know, my generation, I lived in Chicago,
and that would have been nothing for me to be
a bunch of us on the l hanging out at
(14:39):
at two in the morning. We did that, you know,
And if Lollapalooza was there back then, we probably would
have done it then.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
So, but you're also a boy and a girl.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
I look at I look at Luke, and I look
out of the three boys, and I actually think that
Luke can handle himself the best out of the three boys.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
And what I mean by that is Joe would.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Have called you a million times asking you for, you know,
advice on what to do. Jacob would not have even gone.
He would have been, you know, staying in his room.
And Luke kind of doesn't care, like it doesn't phase
him at all.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
I mean, he went go with the flow.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
He went away with friends the year before out of
the country and literally traveled with a passport that's all
he had, and no money and a credit card. So
all right, So that was kind of like our last
couple of weeks. One of the other big things that
has come up. And this is something that last night
(15:41):
kind of took ahead with you and I and that
is you feeling in me actually cutting you off when
we're talking. And I want to explain this to the uh,
you know, to everybody, and I don't explain any that
you want to add to it. But there are many
(16:02):
times where you and I will be having a conversation
and you'll be in the middle of saying something, and
I will quickly cut off and will.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Cut me off, cut you off, mad sentence, and go
off in a total different direction.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yesterday we were having a conversation and that happened a
couple of times. It actually happened twice, and you it
happened the second time after you had already pointed it
out the first time. And one of the things that
you had said was that I don't care what you're saying.
Like that, it shows that I don't care what your
(16:42):
opinion or what your thought is that you're saying. And
I actually don't necessarily think that that's the case consciously,
but maybe subconsciously that's what it is. But I am
literally liked all day to day. I sat there thinking
(17:02):
about that and thinking about what am I doing? And
do I do this a lot? Not just to you,
but do I do it to a lot of people?
Because you had mentioned that sometimes I'll do that to
the boys, Well, you.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Do, and I don't know if it because you said, well,
I only do that because I'm adhd Well, that's a
stupid excuse, because what that is is just rude. It's
really rude. And what the first time it happened. To
give context, the first time it happened, you and I
were discussing a situation in our bathroom. Explain where when
we were in the bathroom and we Yeah, so we
(17:38):
were having a discussion about something that I was really
concerned about. You were not, And so I felt that
you were being dismissive and blowing me off and not
letting me get my whole sentence out about how I
felt about a situation, and you were just cutting me off.
And because you don't agree with me, And that's fine,
you don't have to feel the same way I feel.
(18:00):
I don't have to agree with the thought that I had,
But I said to you, at least let me say it.
At least, like you should be the person that I
can come to and I can say this is how
I feel about the situation. You again, don't have to agree.
You can say you know what I don't. I think
you're being a little bit worry you worry too much,
or whatever whatever the case may be. But at least
let me say it, let me have my thought. Instead
(18:23):
you cut me off and then talk over me. And
so that was that. That was a discussion between the
two of us, and That's when I said, you don't
listen to me ever, you don't let me finish. You
don't and it's not ever, but I feel majority of
the time and makes me feel like what I say
doesn't matter. So then we were out to dinner with
(18:46):
on our way home from dinner with Luke and his
girlfriend Riley, and I am We're all in conversation. I
am contributing to the conversation at that point, and you
literally cut me off mid sentence and completely changed the subject.
And you realized it that.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Time was a little bit different, only because we were
driving by something and I asked Riley a quick question
about the place were driving, my experience, her neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
But you're right, I cut you.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Off, cut me off, and then but it wasn't like hey,
excuse me for one second, Riley, you know, it was like, hey,
oh did you know? And talked about whatever the place was,
like have you seen did you go to this vincent?
Who knows? I can't remember exactly what it was about
an ice cream place? And and you realize you did it,
(19:39):
and you said, oh my gosh, I apologize for that.
I cut you off that and I thought, okay, well,
that's good. But what it does though.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
You didn't think that way, is I did you were?
You were pissed.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I tried to explain myself. You weren't like, well whatever,
you were.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Fucking because I wasn't going to go well whatever, because
I've had to go well whatever for years, or I've
had to, like because it's embarrassing when you get cut
off in front when I'm having conversation with a couple
of people. It's embarrassing. It's I have always and I'm
going to tell you where some part of this stems from.
(20:16):
I have always felt when I've gone out with you
and clients, and you know, which is why I don't
do it a lot. But I've always felt like I
don't have anything to add to the conversation. You are
the personality literally and figurative figuratively. They are there because
they want your service. They are there they're buying time
(20:39):
at the rate whatever you're having to entertain these clients.
I have always had a huge insecurity because what am
I adding to the conversation. And I've told you this before,
this is nothing new, but I'm just a stay at
home mom. What do I have to now? I don't
feel that way anymore, by the way, but I have before,
So that's where that stems from. I wouldn't contribute to
(21:02):
a lot of conversations because I thought I have nothing
to contribute. Now at fifty one, I'm a lot more
comfortable in my skin. I will talk about what I know.
I don't talk about things that I don't know. But
when I feel I can contribute to a conversation, I will,
and I do. And when you cut me off and
when you change the subject, it really it takes me
(21:26):
back to an insecure place, is what it does, whether
it's with our kids or and you part of me, Yes,
it is. This is why you're so good at what
you do, because you have to be in a different
part of the conversation and knowing where you want a
conversation to go next on the air, which is why
your show is so great and you are so good
(21:47):
at what you do. It really sucks in a personal
situation because this is a personal conversation that I'm having
with you or in a group, and you don't just
do it to me. You do do it to other people.
But I noticed when I listen to your show, you
guys constantly will step on each other, not let each
other finish a thought, or you don't sometimes let the listeners,
(22:10):
like it's really listen listen to other people, and you
can add so much more to the conversation.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
So I put some thoughts together for this, oh okay,
and because I was thinking a lot about it, and
one of them was about the conversation that we had
in the bathroom, which if you're in a relationship, I
think you can relate to this. I feel like sometimes
when you're getting ready to go out for the night,
(22:40):
you have some crazy intense conversations, like where you're both
sitting there because you're both in a room, you know,
the bathroom, and you're right there, sharing the same mirror,
and you're watching, you know, looking at yourself and stuff,
and then all of a sudden, an intense conversation comes up.
It typically is not to me the greatest time to
(23:01):
have an intense conversation or to get into an conversation
in where it is something that is not like it's lighthearted.
And then I started realizing that I think I do
this a lot more to you when we are in
those intense conversations because I just don't want to talk
(23:23):
about them and it's not that I don't want to
talk about them. It's just that my hope is that
a lot of them is some of the things that
we got going on in our family life where we
are not necessarily excited about certain things, and I just
want to defer it down the road, kick the can
(23:44):
down the road a little bit. And I'm like, I
don't want to have a conversation about it because we
end up getting into it's not Our conversation is not
going to change change it other than it's going to
make you and I feel better about what's going on.
And so it's almost kind of like I'd rather ignore
it than confront it. And my I guess doing that
(24:09):
to you is my way of trying to ignore it.
I guess so when you had said to me last night, well,
it's lack of respect for me, I don't necessarily agree
with that. I feel like it's lack of wanting to
deal with what is going on.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
You know.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
It's like who wants to do their taxes, you know.
I mean, I've been putting that off for a while
now too. But I I think that sometimes one of
the things that you and I rarely get to have
with each other, and I wish we had more of
it is lighthearted conversation where we just talked about nothing
(24:54):
or talked about fun stuff, because not always do we
have fun conversations with each other. And I think that
it's because it's something going on for me at work,
or something going on for me health wise, or something
going on for you health wise, or something going on
with the family, or something going on with a friend
or something, and it's like it feels like heavy, you know.
(25:20):
And I think that part of me is I don't
want to deal with it, you know, And I need
to be better at either a saying to you, hey,
you know what right now, I really just don't feel
like I can talk about this. Can we talk about
this later or just talking about it? And I a runner,
(25:44):
I run from absolutely, and I'm a confronter, yes, And
I feel like we have had the last few years
of our family life, our life, we have had a
lot more heavy stuff than we've had lighthearted stuff.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Well true, And with you being a runner and me
being a confronter. And when I say confronter, I don't
mean I confront people. I mean I confront the situation.
I like to talk about it and I like to
come up with a plan and a solution, and sometimes
the there is no solution. Sometimes it's just me having
to I and as women, sometimes we have to talk
(26:26):
about it again and again and again and again. And
I get that you don't want to hear it again
and again. That's why I have friends who are like,
just talk to me about it. We understand. But then
I get a little resentful because you are my husband,
and whether you realize it or not, you signed up
for it because I get to hear about your shit
(26:47):
again and again and again, and I listen and I
try to help you solve it, and I feel I
feel that when you come to me with things I
do like I sometimes I literally will go and confront
the other person that's in the situation with you, like
I just I, I think, and it's okay that we're different.
(27:11):
It really is okay that we are different people. It's
the lack of respect that I feel when I'm being
cut off mid thought or even if I have said
to you, listen, I'm stressed out about this situation and
I'm worried about this even if I came I'm coming
to you for the hundredth time about it, let me
finish my thought, and when I pause, then you can say,
(27:33):
because sometimes I just need to be heard. I feel
like I'm not being heard, which I think is so
common in marriage because it's you're not It's so much
more when I know I'm being heard is when you
really say, you know what, that's how you feel and
I'm sorry that you feel that way, or you know,
(27:55):
You'll give me a hug or whatever, like I just
it's okay that I have these I'm gonna have it,
anxiety filled thoughts about my children, about my health, about
like there are things that and I'm not asking you
to solve it because you can't. I'm just asking you
to be there to listen. And I do get resentful.
(28:17):
And the thing that you said to me last night
in the bathroom that really pissed me off. What do
you remember what it was? I don't when I said,
you make me feel like I don't know if I
said you make me feel like you're not listening or
I told you how I felt about the situation. And
(28:38):
then your response was I'm not responsible for the way
that you feel about you are, And I was like,
fuck you, yeah, you are? You literally by what you
just said and did made me feel insignificant and you
not me, because you said you're responsible for how you feel,
not me, And I said, that is such a fairrapist,
(29:00):
piece of shit thing to say. Sorry, Jacob, and don't
use that on me. Ever, don't use that on me.
You are responsible for how you made me feel in
that moment, not me. I'm telling you how that makes
me feel. Yeah, and that is what set the tone
for me.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
That was and I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. I
to go back to the therapist stuff. I do need
to in the moment exactly what you said, listen to
what you're saying. But then I also need to this
is a therapist thing, set the boundary of I. Hey,
(29:44):
right now, it's not a good time for me to
have this conversation. And then here's another therapist thing to say,
because I was thinking about this today. All I need
to do is listen to you and hear you and
let you know that I heard you, and then not
try to can't solve the problem.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
There's no I know.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
What I'm saying is I used to always feel like
I had to solve everybody's problems, Yours included the boys,
ye I work with no listen, let me just finish
my thought. And it took years of me realizing that
I couldn't solve I can't solve my own problems. And
(30:25):
I think that one of the things I've really known
from you, the thing that you have been most appreciative
probably of anything that I've ever done for you, has
been the times that I just literally said, yeah, that
does suck. That you know that that blows, and you
just feel like you're heard, and I need to stop
(30:47):
running from just hearing you. And and I think because
I think the pressure for me is I know I
can't solve the problem. I can't solve the issue that
we were talking about last night.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
I can't and I'm not asking you to.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
I think you can either, and I am not asking
I don't think I've ever really come to you and
said I have this problem and I want you to
solve it.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And that's what But this is what I'm not trying
to say that you're asking me to solve the problem.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
But I'm saying, well, you just said you do it, right,
You just said you feel that you have to. People
are coming to all their problems. I will say, you
do have a lot of people that come to you
with problems and they're expected to solve them. I don't
think I've ever been that person. By the way, I've
never said to you, this is a problem and I
want you to solve it for me. And I might
be wrong. In thirty two years, perhaps there have has
(31:34):
been a couple of times you haven't.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
But that's okay. Subconsciously, let meet my thought up.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
But I will say this, I think that what I
want to come to you is just a sounding board,
not asking you to solve I'm just asking you to listen.
And what I said to you last night was I
should be able to come to you because I hear
you on the phone and you pick up everyone else's
phone call and you listen to all of their problems
(32:02):
all day every day, and you do help a lot
of people solve their problems. Can you just listen to me.
I'm not asking for a solution, I'm just asking, as
your wife, hey, this is what's going on in my
head right now, because then it makes me feel like
I can't share with you what's going on in my head.
And then your response back to me was, well, you've
(32:24):
got to let go of a lot of this stress.
Stress is really bad for you. You're right, it is bad
for me. So how am I gonna let that go?
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Then?
Speaker 4 (32:33):
Like you should be that person?
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Isn't interesting.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I don't know howth therapists deal with the South, asked
our son Jacob about this. But when you're listening to
other people's problems and there are other people's stuff going on,
you know that you don't have anything else that you
have to do for it other than listen to the person.
But when they're your problems, you feel like you've got
to figure out how to fix it because you feel
like there's a disaster going on if you don't so well,
(33:00):
I just want you to know that I'm going to
be I'm going to be very conscious of not cutting
you off. And the way I'm gonna do that is
I'm gonna send you on another trip to Mexico.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
Audio.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Not not a real light hearted podcast, but but I.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Think it was.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
It's all real, by the way, I think this is
all relatable.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Don't cut me off, please, I was just trying to No,
I'm just kidding.
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
On this episode coming up on this episode of the
weed Dome podcast. Wow, what a couple of weeks it's been.
We've been dealing with some family stuff. Chelsea almost got
kidnapped by the cartel, and we will talk about all
of this.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
So, what a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
We took a couple of weeks off because we had
some time off like for the whatever the vacation is
that I take, is what the president's of that? And
then we went away. We went down to Florida and
didn't do a podcast before we left. We probably should have.
We should probably tape like a bunch of them. But
I feel like you and I are at a point
(01:10):
of exhaustion talking to each other for such a long
period of time.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
I don't think that's it for me. For me, it's
that we're just wrapped up trying to get things done
before we leave, and so this is kind of like,
oh shit, we should have done a podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, But I also think that we like, you know,
some people like tape podcasts. Like when I talk to
people who do like a regular podcast, they do like
four in a row, and I feel like I can't
do that because I want to get all my thoughts
out in one and then it takes me like a
little bit of time to kind of you know, it's
almost like the difference between doing a show and doing
a podcast. You have the next day you can talk
(01:46):
about the next thing you want to see.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Our podcasts are thirty minutes long because you can't handle
more than thirty minutes. So if you really think about it.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I'm just talking to me, Chelsea is a long time correct.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
But I bet if we like planned it out and
had our top like what were topic per each episode
of what we wanted to talk about, I bet you
we can knock out two to three.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
And no, well, okay there, I'm.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Just saying, I bet we could. I bet we in
the way because you're just so you can't handle. When
you see a three in the minute, it is not
the case. It's going you cannot hand.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I have kept it that thirty minutes is a perfect
time for people to be able to just kind of
get enough and want more. And if you go I mean,
an hour might be okay. But I think once you
start going past that, like when I start seeing podcast
like I don't know, Joe Rogan Experiences.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
And look how successful that is.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I get it. But you have to really dedicate yourself
to three and a half hour.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I think sometimes people listen to it, stop, come back
to it, listen to it like you're not sitting there,
or long commutes whatever, anyway, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
All right. So we were off for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Then we had, you know, Luke had his trip, and
I want to talk about this. I want to talk
about the getting together as a couple that are parenting,
you know, children and being on the same page and
then following through with it because we both had to
(03:18):
kind of deal with whole you know, Luke going away
and he was going to Mexico, and initially we weren't
even happy about them going to Mexico. And then all
of a sudden, a week before he's leaving, the week
of the this thing happens down in you know, floor
or in Mexico and Porta Varta where they had this
whole cartel stuff going on, and we are freaking out
(03:41):
and I'm looking at Luke's friends, and I don't know.
Maybe we just are insulated and we don't know a
lot of his friends', you know, families. Nobody seems like
they're freaked out about their kid going across the border
to Mexico.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Well. I think part of it too, though, is a
lot of parents were like, well, they spent the money
and their adults and they need to make the decision.
A lot of the kids weren't supposed to leave the property.
Some did, but they were not supposed to leave the property.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
You know.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
They said, Okay, fine, you can go, but you then
you don't leave the hotel. So that was the deal
with Luke was first, you know, at first it was like, no,
you're not going. Then okay, you can go, but then
we'll well, it was let's just monitor the situation and
see what's going on. Because as the threat as they
(04:35):
because a threat went from originally, I guess it's always
a two. By the way, Cancun is always at a
threat level two out of four or five five, maybe
can't remember.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
The embassy will rate the threat level of the places
of the states in Mexico.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
But there was a car. There're literally a card town.
I don't even care if it's one through five. They're
literally it was a cartel, and you know, crazy.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
That was twenty six hours away.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
We had this fight on the air and somebody said, well,
it'd be like if there was a terrorist event in Texas,
you know, you'd still go to Florida. It's a totally
different country.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Though. That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
If if there was something that happened in our country,
I would be fine with it because at least you're
in our country. And I will say this to you.
You and I both kind of sat down and said,
all right, we don't like Luke going. Let's think of
alternatives for him, and we're going to try to talk
him out of you know this, because we're going to
both stand on this.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
And then it was.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Okay, we'll give it a few days to see if
things settle down, and we'll kind of judge by that.
And Luke actually in the beginning was you know, the
typical tantrum thing like where he got really upset. Then
he started calming down, maybe thinking they never follow through.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
With anything, you know, probably.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And then it came to all of a sudden, you going,
and I'm like, like, what in the world is going
on here?
Speaker 3 (06:02):
So how do how did it get to all? Right,
I'll just go with.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
So we were, like you said, we were in Florida
when all of that happened, and at first I was like,
absolutely not. And then as the days went on and
the threat for Cancuon came down. So if all of
(06:28):
that had happened in Cancuon, he never would have gone.
And he and I talked about even agreed, I wouldn't
want to go if that happened in Cancuon, so he said,
Or if they were going to Portavarda, Yeah, correct, But
all of that had happened in Port of Iota, and
so I as you see the threat level calm down
and go back to where it consistently is at a two,
(06:49):
I thought, well, you know, is it safe for him. Listen,
something can happen to him in East Lansing there where
was a school shooting at And then.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Justify what you're going. I think you're trying to do that.
I don't think you need to.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Well, I'm getting how I came to this conclusion in
my head. So call it what you want. But that
so safety is you are. Safety is a relative term
as far as that goes, Yes, you're in another country.
I did not feel one hundred percent comfortable with him,
(07:27):
even like you said before going, because it's just dangerous.
And I worry, honestly, quite honestly, less about the cartel
and more about them being idiots and getting hauled off
to jail and sitting in a Mexican jail, and then
I have to go fly out there, bribe him and
get out of you know, bribe them and get him
(07:48):
out of jail. So I was like, Okay. I was
on my flight home from Florida and I thought, I
texted you, I said, who do you think out of
my crazy friend? What if I went? And who do
you think I could convince to go with me? And
you gave me two names, And so I texted my
(08:09):
friend Courtney and I said, do you want to go?
How crazy would it be? Would you want to meet
me in Cancun Saturday through Thursday? And She's like, heck, yeah,
I will, like didn't even hesitate, and I said, well,
I'm in a plane right now. Can you look up hotels?
Her son works for Marriott, so we got the Marriott discount,
(08:30):
like it all fell into place. She had just she
was just in Cancun in December, and she's like, I
am not worried about any of that at all.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I actually looked at it as this is a great
opportunity to have him not go, because I don't like
him going there anyway, for the same reasons that you said.
I'm more worried about them not getting in trouble with
the cartel, but getting in trouble with the fire at
or whatever, right, and which is pretty good that I
(09:03):
remember that that's what they call their cops, the federal rallies.
And it does worry me them being stupid, because I
know how stupid they are in East Lansing.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
I also have this to say.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I talked to your dad, and I was really surprised
by your dad's response, but I kind of agreed, and
then also was a little bit in a little bit
of disbelief. I asked your dad what he thought, and
your dad gave me an interesting perspective. Your dad basically said,
Luke's an adult, and you know what, you can't keep
(09:38):
coddling him. And I sat there and I thought to myself,
oh my god, maybe this is again, what's going on
with you know, twenty somethings and thirty somethings where their
parents are, you know, dictating what they can do? And
your dad was, you know, basically telling me, you know,
tell him just to be smart and send him on
his way and if something happens, they you know, it
(10:01):
just happens. And I was kind of surprised by that.
But then I thought to myself, our parents would be
no different, you know what I mean. Obviously this is
your dad, but my parents probably my dad probably wouldn't
even know that when I was going to Mexico. But
are we too protective of our kids? You know what
(10:21):
you did? Is that too protective to go?
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Maybe?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
I mean maybe there when I was talking to a
couple of other parents and one of them said, I
would go with you. I cannot go because I just
got back and I have to work. I took last
week off for their other suns spring break. So she said,
or I would totally go with you, because I said,
(10:47):
do you girls want to come with me?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Like?
Speaker 4 (10:49):
These are moms of other two of his roommates, and
they both were like, we cannot get off work, otherwise
we would And so when I said, Okay, I think
I might be crazy enough to do this and go
and they were just like, oh my god, thank you
so much. It makes me feel so better. I will
tell you being there and seeing it, you know, it
(11:11):
was very calm. I felt very safe, you know. And
then you can talk about how you sat next to
someone on the plane that made you even feel better
on your flight.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Defense for our government and he was like, oh, things
are fine.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, Cancun is in some kind of bubble, and it
just made me feel a lot financially. Listen, their country
relies on tourist dollars too, so and no tourist was
hurt in the porta I artist sing like, they're just
it doesn't there's a false sense of security that I
(11:50):
guess I walk out of. Bless you in our house
every day literally something can happen to us here, so
I just.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Have to I guess the way that I wanted to
kind of take this is, are we too protective of
our kids? Like our majority of the parents like us
in regards to and maybe on a smaller scale not
you know, going to Mexico and.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Well there were a lot of kids that had that
pulled out.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
But are there?
Speaker 4 (12:22):
There were?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
But are we Are we not allowing our kids just
to be adults? For everybody that's listening, Luke's twenty He's
gonna be twenty one in a month and a half, right,
And when you and I were twenty one, you know,
you were married, with child or having a child. I
just had a child, and I was with you and
(12:45):
I was engaged to you at that time. So it
is wild to think of how we parent our kids, sure,
and how we do things, you know, for them that
I know for a fact that my parents would never
do for me.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Well, my parents probably would have never let me go.
You know, if I had said, Hey, I'm going to Mexico,
they'd be like, I don't.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Even yah, making that comment to me like he would
have been.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Like, it's different. I bet it's different for girls and boys.
He probably would have let my brothers go, but I
don't think he would have let me go.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, I will say this that it did bring up
to something really interesting for me and the biggest complaint
that I have with a lot of times people who
I work with, and not specifically this crew that I
have now, because I feel like Lydia and Bianca are
that same age, and their parents I know, are protective
(13:38):
of them, but they're not like those girls are pretty worldly,
like they can figure stuff out. They go to places
and do things that you know, I honestly would if
I had a daughter, probably not want them to go
to like with both of them going to Miami and
doing things like at Lollapalooza like Bianca did in the
middle of the night, you know, hanging out, which I
(13:58):
thought was not really smart.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
But I so there's a.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Difference between, by the way, being worldly and being a
little bit naive. Bianca and I love that girl, but
she should not be on the l at three o'clock
in the morning like that. That is just that is
not being worldwinow.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
And I think that she got she got lucky that
she'd nothing happened for he stared out of her bike. Yeah,
but I do think that there's something really interesting in
the fact that, you know, my generation, I lived in Chicago,
and that would have been nothing for me to be
a bunch of us on the l hanging out at
(14:39):
at two in the morning. We did that, you know,
And if Lollapalooza was there back then, we probably would
have done it then.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
So, but you're also a boy and a girl.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
I look at I look at Luke, and I look
out of the three boys, and I actually think that
Luke can handle himself the best out of the three boys.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
And what I mean by that is Joe would.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Have called you a million times asking you for, you know,
advice on what to do. Jacob would not have even gone.
He would have been, you know, staying in his room.
And Luke kind of doesn't care, like it doesn't phase
him at all.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
I mean, he went go with the flow.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
He went away with friends the year before out of
the country and literally traveled with a passport that's all
he had, and no money and a credit card. So
all right, So that was kind of like our last
couple of weeks. One of the other big things that
has come up. And this is something that last night
(15:41):
kind of took ahead with you and I and that
is you feeling in me actually cutting you off when
we're talking. And I want to explain this to the uh,
you know, to everybody, and I don't explain any that
you want to add to it. But there are many
(16:02):
times where you and I will be having a conversation
and you'll be in the middle of saying something, and
I will quickly cut off and will.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Cut me off, cut you off, mad sentence, and go
off in a total different direction.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yesterday we were having a conversation and that happened a
couple of times. It actually happened twice, and you it
happened the second time after you had already pointed it
out the first time. And one of the things that
you had said was that I don't care what you're saying.
Like that, it shows that I don't care what your
(16:42):
opinion or what your thought is that you're saying. And
I actually don't necessarily think that that's the case consciously,
but maybe subconsciously that's what it is. But I am
literally liked all day to day. I sat there thinking
(17:02):
about that and thinking about what am I doing? And
do I do this a lot? Not just to you,
but do I do it to a lot of people?
Because you had mentioned that sometimes I'll do that to
the boys, Well, you.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Do, and I don't know if it because you said, well,
I only do that because I'm adhd Well, that's a
stupid excuse, because what that is is just rude. It's
really rude. And what the first time it happened. To
give context, the first time it happened, you and I
were discussing a situation in our bathroom. Explain where when
we were in the bathroom and we Yeah, so we
(17:38):
were having a discussion about something that I was really
concerned about. You were not, And so I felt that
you were being dismissive and blowing me off and not
letting me get my whole sentence out about how I
felt about a situation, and you were just cutting me off.
And because you don't agree with me, And that's fine,
you don't have to feel the same way I feel.
(18:00):
I don't have to agree with the thought that I had,
But I said to you, at least let me say it.
At least, like you should be the person that I
can come to and I can say this is how
I feel about the situation. You again, don't have to agree.
You can say you know what I don't. I think
you're being a little bit worry you worry too much,
or whatever whatever the case may be. But at least
let me say it, let me have my thought. Instead
(18:23):
you cut me off and then talk over me. And
so that was that. That was a discussion between the
two of us, and That's when I said, you don't
listen to me ever, you don't let me finish. You
don't and it's not ever, but I feel majority of
the time and makes me feel like what I say
doesn't matter. So then we were out to dinner with
(18:46):
on our way home from dinner with Luke and his
girlfriend Riley, and I am We're all in conversation. I
am contributing to the conversation at that point, and you
literally cut me off mid sentence and completely changed the subject.
And you realized it that.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Time was a little bit different, only because we were
driving by something and I asked Riley a quick question
about the place were driving, my experience, her neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
But you're right, I cut you.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Off, cut me off, and then but it wasn't like hey,
excuse me for one second, Riley, you know, it was like, hey,
oh did you know? And talked about whatever the place was,
like have you seen did you go to this vincent?
Who knows? I can't remember exactly what it was about
an ice cream place? And and you realize you did it,
(19:39):
and you said, oh my gosh, I apologize for that.
I cut you off that and I thought, okay, well,
that's good. But what it does though.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
You didn't think that way, is I did you were?
You were pissed.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I tried to explain myself. You weren't like, well whatever,
you were.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Fucking because I wasn't going to go well whatever, because
I've had to go well whatever for years, or I've
had to, like because it's embarrassing when you get cut
off in front when I'm having conversation with a couple
of people. It's embarrassing. It's I have always and I'm
going to tell you where some part of this stems from.
(20:16):
I have always felt when I've gone out with you
and clients, and you know, which is why I don't
do it a lot. But I've always felt like I
don't have anything to add to the conversation. You are
the personality literally and figurative figuratively. They are there because
they want your service. They are there they're buying time
(20:39):
at the rate whatever you're having to entertain these clients.
I have always had a huge insecurity because what am
I adding to the conversation. And I've told you this before,
this is nothing new, but I'm just a stay at
home mom. What do I have to now? I don't
feel that way anymore, by the way, but I have before,
So that's where that stems from. I wouldn't contribute to
(21:02):
a lot of conversations because I thought I have nothing
to contribute. Now at fifty one, I'm a lot more
comfortable in my skin. I will talk about what I know.
I don't talk about things that I don't know. But
when I feel I can contribute to a conversation, I will,
and I do. And when you cut me off and
when you change the subject, it really it takes me
(21:26):
back to an insecure place, is what it does, whether
it's with our kids or and you part of me, Yes,
it is. This is why you're so good at what
you do, because you have to be in a different
part of the conversation and knowing where you want a
conversation to go next on the air, which is why
your show is so great and you are so good
(21:47):
at what you do. It really sucks in a personal
situation because this is a personal conversation that I'm having
with you or in a group, and you don't just
do it to me. You do do it to other people.
But I noticed when I listen to your show, you
guys constantly will step on each other, not let each
other finish a thought, or you don't sometimes let the listeners,
(22:10):
like it's really listen listen to other people, and you
can add so much more to the conversation.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
So I put some thoughts together for this, oh okay,
and because I was thinking a lot about it, and
one of them was about the conversation that we had
in the bathroom, which if you're in a relationship, I
think you can relate to this. I feel like sometimes
when you're getting ready to go out for the night,
(22:40):
you have some crazy intense conversations, like where you're both
sitting there because you're both in a room, you know,
the bathroom, and you're right there, sharing the same mirror,
and you're watching, you know, looking at yourself and stuff,
and then all of a sudden, an intense conversation comes up.
It typically is not to me the greatest time to
(23:01):
have an intense conversation or to get into an conversation
in where it is something that is not like it's lighthearted.
And then I started realizing that I think I do
this a lot more to you when we are in
those intense conversations because I just don't want to talk
(23:23):
about them and it's not that I don't want to
talk about them. It's just that my hope is that
a lot of them is some of the things that
we got going on in our family life where we
are not necessarily excited about certain things, and I just
want to defer it down the road, kick the can
(23:44):
down the road a little bit. And I'm like, I
don't want to have a conversation about it because we
end up getting into it's not Our conversation is not
going to change change it other than it's going to
make you and I feel better about what's going on.
And so it's almost kind of like I'd rather ignore
it than confront it. And my I guess doing that
(24:09):
to you is my way of trying to ignore it.
I guess so when you had said to me last night, well,
it's lack of respect for me, I don't necessarily agree
with that. I feel like it's lack of wanting to
deal with what is going on.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
You know.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
It's like who wants to do their taxes, you know.
I mean, I've been putting that off for a while
now too. But I I think that sometimes one of
the things that you and I rarely get to have
with each other, and I wish we had more of
it is lighthearted conversation where we just talked about nothing
(24:54):
or talked about fun stuff, because not always do we
have fun conversations with each other. And I think that
it's because it's something going on for me at work,
or something going on for me health wise, or something
going on for you health wise, or something going on
with the family, or something going on with a friend
or something, and it's like it feels like heavy, you know.
(25:20):
And I think that part of me is I don't
want to deal with it, you know, And I need
to be better at either a saying to you, hey,
you know what right now, I really just don't feel
like I can talk about this. Can we talk about
this later or just talking about it? And I a runner,
(25:44):
I run from absolutely, and I'm a confronter, yes, And
I feel like we have had the last few years
of our family life, our life, we have had a
lot more heavy stuff than we've had lighthearted stuff.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Well true, And with you being a runner and me
being a confronter. And when I say confronter, I don't
mean I confront people. I mean I confront the situation.
I like to talk about it and I like to
come up with a plan and a solution, and sometimes
the there is no solution. Sometimes it's just me having
to I and as women, sometimes we have to talk
(26:26):
about it again and again and again and again. And
I get that you don't want to hear it again
and again. That's why I have friends who are like,
just talk to me about it. We understand. But then
I get a little resentful because you are my husband,
and whether you realize it or not, you signed up
for it because I get to hear about your shit
(26:47):
again and again and again, and I listen and I
try to help you solve it, and I feel I
feel that when you come to me with things I
do like I sometimes I literally will go and confront
the other person that's in the situation with you, like
I just I, I think, and it's okay that we're different.
(27:11):
It really is okay that we are different people. It's
the lack of respect that I feel when I'm being
cut off mid thought or even if I have said
to you, listen, I'm stressed out about this situation and
I'm worried about this even if I came I'm coming
to you for the hundredth time about it, let me
finish my thought, and when I pause, then you can say,
(27:33):
because sometimes I just need to be heard. I feel
like I'm not being heard, which I think is so
common in marriage because it's you're not It's so much
more when I know I'm being heard is when you
really say, you know what, that's how you feel and
I'm sorry that you feel that way, or you know,
(27:55):
You'll give me a hug or whatever, like I just
it's okay that I have these I'm gonna have it,
anxiety filled thoughts about my children, about my health, about
like there are things that and I'm not asking you
to solve it because you can't. I'm just asking you
to be there to listen. And I do get resentful.
(28:17):
And the thing that you said to me last night
in the bathroom that really pissed me off. What do
you remember what it was? I don't when I said,
you make me feel like I don't know if I
said you make me feel like you're not listening or
I told you how I felt about the situation. And
(28:38):
then your response was I'm not responsible for the way
that you feel about you are, And I was like,
fuck you, yeah, you are? You literally by what you
just said and did made me feel insignificant and you
not me, because you said you're responsible for how you feel,
not me, And I said, that is such a fairrapist,
(29:00):
piece of shit thing to say. Sorry, Jacob, and don't
use that on me. Ever, don't use that on me.
You are responsible for how you made me feel in
that moment, not me. I'm telling you how that makes
me feel. Yeah, and that is what set the tone
for me.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
That was and I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. I
to go back to the therapist stuff. I do need
to in the moment exactly what you said, listen to
what you're saying. But then I also need to this
is a therapist thing, set the boundary of I. Hey,
(29:44):
right now, it's not a good time for me to
have this conversation. And then here's another therapist thing to say,
because I was thinking about this today. All I need
to do is listen to you and hear you and
let you know that I heard you, and then not
try to can't solve the problem.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
There's no I know.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
What I'm saying is I used to always feel like
I had to solve everybody's problems, Yours included the boys,
ye I work with no listen, let me just finish
my thought. And it took years of me realizing that
I couldn't solve I can't solve my own problems. And
(30:25):
I think that one of the things I've really known
from you, the thing that you have been most appreciative
probably of anything that I've ever done for you, has
been the times that I just literally said, yeah, that
does suck. That you know that that blows, and you
just feel like you're heard, and I need to stop
(30:47):
running from just hearing you. And and I think because
I think the pressure for me is I know I
can't solve the problem. I can't solve the issue that
we were talking about last night.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
I can't and I'm not asking you to.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
I think you can either, and I am not asking
I don't think I've ever really come to you and
said I have this problem and I want you to
solve it.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And that's what But this is what I'm not trying
to say that you're asking me to solve the problem.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
But I'm saying, well, you just said you do it, right,
You just said you feel that you have to. People
are coming to all their problems. I will say, you
do have a lot of people that come to you
with problems and they're expected to solve them. I don't
think I've ever been that person. By the way, I've
never said to you, this is a problem and I
want you to solve it for me. And I might
be wrong. In thirty two years, perhaps there have has
(31:34):
been a couple of times you haven't.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
But that's okay. Subconsciously, let meet my thought up.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
But I will say this, I think that what I
want to come to you is just a sounding board,
not asking you to solve I'm just asking you to listen.
And what I said to you last night was I
should be able to come to you because I hear
you on the phone and you pick up everyone else's
phone call and you listen to all of their problems
(32:02):
all day every day, and you do help a lot
of people solve their problems. Can you just listen to me.
I'm not asking for a solution, I'm just asking, as
your wife, hey, this is what's going on in my
head right now, because then it makes me feel like
I can't share with you what's going on in my head.
And then your response back to me was, well, you've
(32:24):
got to let go of a lot of this stress.
Stress is really bad for you. You're right, it is bad
for me. So how am I gonna let that go?
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Then?
Speaker 4 (32:33):
Like you should be that person?
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Isn't interesting.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I don't know howth therapists deal with the South, asked
our son Jacob about this. But when you're listening to
other people's problems and there are other people's stuff going on,
you know that you don't have anything else that you
have to do for it other than listen to the person.
But when they're your problems, you feel like you've got
to figure out how to fix it because you feel
like there's a disaster going on if you don't so well,
(33:00):
I just want you to know that I'm going to
be I'm going to be very conscious of not cutting
you off. And the way I'm gonna do that is
I'm gonna send you on another trip to Mexico.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
Audio.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Not not a real light hearted podcast, but but I.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Think it was.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
It's all real, by the way, I think this is
all relatable.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Don't cut me off, please, I was just trying to No,
I'm just kidding.
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