March 30, 2026 • 33 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Coming up on this episode of the We Don't Podcast,
you got a friend and me. Chelsea does not like
me and my friend. We'll talk about it right now
here on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Okay, So I learned something from Chelse and we had
to bring this to the podcast. Literally, I just learned.
I don't even know an hour ago or so that
she says that I have no friends. I thought I
had friends.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
No, you do have friends. You there are times in
your life. There's been times in a relationship where you
have not had a lot of friends. You've had acquaintances,
and you've had work friends, but you haven't there were
times where you, because of work or whatever, you just
didn't have close friendships.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I wasn't nurturing close friendships.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
So you said that.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
The way that you knew that I wasn't was because
what it was I doing.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
To you, Because you would want me to be your
only friend like you, I would have to meet that
need too. So I remember when the boys were little,
it was like in the thick of it, and it
was you needing me to also look to me to
also be your friend. So I was playing the role
of wife, mom and then now your friend, which give
(01:49):
me examples should be friends. Well, I think you just
relied on me for a lot jasure and I was
just smelling.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
It started smelling there for a second. Correct I was like,
does this mean.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
So gross? So there were times that I think, and
you can correct me if I'm wrong, but where you
didn't have I would say before some of our toughest times,
where you maybe you felt that tough times were coming
and so you just held on to me that much harder,
(02:27):
or you could sense that we were starting to drift away,
and then so you clung on a little bit harder
and instead of because I don't Again, a friend should
not like a good friend. Yes, you should be friends
with your spouse. When people say, oh, they're my best friend,
(02:50):
really watch that, because yes, you can be quote unquote
best friends with your spouse, but you really should have
someone that is not related to you, that is a friend,
preferably of the same secks, that you can reach out
to and talk to about issues going on in your marriage,
because you'll have them and you need an ear and
(03:12):
if it's a family member, they're going to take your side.
They're going to pick your side. It won't be but
you need someone because inevitably your marriage is going to
hit some really low lows and you can't talk to
the person.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
So you don't think that it's good that your friends
are family, because which in case, I actually would say
that a lot of my you know, friends are my family.
And I will agree with you on I made the
mistake of when you and I have gone through trouble
talking to my family about it, because it then is
(03:48):
a difficult thing for them to not sure hold that
against you as we continue.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
To they did, Yeah, for sure, Yeah, which which is fine,
Like of course, of course, first of all, your friends
are getting your version of it and how you're hurt
in the situation and what's going on for you. And
so when you take that to your family and they're
(04:15):
going to of course only see the side that is
presented to them, unless I can really call out the
person that's talking to them, which I think I did
a really good job with my brother and his marriages.
I think I really did he did, I played you don't.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Don't you think you sided sometimes with his wives?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Well, because I could call out my brother when he
had bad behaviors, I understand.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
But I think that as a sister that you're supposed
to be loyal to.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
See this is the problem. This is why you cannot
be and I will always be there for my brothers,
but when they are having shitty behavior, I call it out.
I don't have a problem doing that. So could that
have and could that cause a problem with me and
my brother? Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
We don't think though that his wives could also be
the problem, because I gotta be honest with you. I
look at but in the moment, fast and I don't
think that now they were always Well I'm just.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Talking about Listen. We don't have to go into his
relationship because that's not what this is about. I was
just saying, I unlike your family. I could sit back
and be like, well, his behavior isn't the greatest. Your
family is amazing in the sense that you siblings look
(05:31):
at each other and Bill, who owns a restaurant in
Porta Iota, created culinary Yes, Pat who is a retired teacher,
literally literally created the academic system on her own like
you guys think that each one word she did teach
the world. Yes, you guys, which I.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Love, Tony and Marconi.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Handedly hold up that my sister married Joe can bake
like nobody else.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
And I again, I think that is so amazing that
you guys are that way. But it's really hard when
you're married into that because as the quote unquote outlaws
that we call ourselves, it's very difficult to crack into that.
It's which, by the way, keep that close knit because
when your dad died, I saw the beauty of that.
(06:23):
I saw the most amazing part of that. But when
you are married to that, you know, I also see
the dark side of that too.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
All right, let's talk real quick because you know, we're
talking about how you need to have friends. You need
to have some good friends that you can, you know,
rely on when times are tough in your relationship. Is
it always good to share your relationship with friends.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Well, I think the beauty of that is you can,
especially when you have friends that are going through the
same like you guys both have young kids, or you've
been married around the same amount of time, or even
to have someone who's been married longer that can say
you know what you are, this is difficult, it's difficult,
but it gets better, or hey, you need to change
(07:14):
your behavior because that's not going to be productive to
get you through this. I think that's what friends do.
Family does not. Family is like oh, she's a bitch,
you're right, leave or leave or like I think that
that's you know, and then hopefully you do have friends
that can be like, yeah, you know, what, what are
you bringing to the table?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
What?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, you're right. Being married is really hard, and typically
wives nag. But why is she nagging? Why what is
going on? And vice versa, you know with women, you know, okay,
so what is going on? What does he not feel
fulfilled in?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
What?
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Like?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
There are miseryly love's company. So you don't want to
be around people that are like, yeah, I get a divorce.
That's unless really truly you should get it divorce, but
you know, we all get it.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
We were discussing, I think, on a prior podcast about
calling your spouse your best friend and why it's not
the thing yeah, which is good to reiterate that it's
not that you shouldn't be friends with your spouse, but
to say that they're your.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Best friend is probably not.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
As realistic as it should be for them, because best
friends are sometimes needed.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Like you just said, I think.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
People get locked up in that term because if you
say he's not my best friend, she's not my best friend,
then you are somehow like turning your back behind your
on your marriage or not telling not putting that person
on a pedestal that they deserve to be on, or
you're not giving your marriage a good light. I don't know,
(08:55):
but I when when I hear people say, oh, no,
he's my best friend, she's my best friend, I'm like, oh,
you know you are not my best friend. You are
my husband. I would never want to put the and
you should be my rock. You should be, but there
(09:18):
are times that you won't be. You should be my
safe spot, but there are times that you won't be.
You should be. And I should be able to talk
to someone and be like, oh, I'm so frustrated. You
can't expect to put everything on that. It's not fair.
It is not fair to do that to anyone, to
(09:38):
make them be your end all be all. It's just impossible.
And by the way, when something happens, because inevitably it does,
it will not saying it ends in divorce or but
God forbid. If you lose your spouse, death, whatever, you
hopefully have people that you can lean on around and
(10:00):
do and help you get through that great loss.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I think it's a red flag if a person doesn't
have friends. And it's interesting because I went into this
with that same feeling, even after an hour ago you
told me I don't have any friends. But you explained
something interesting. Sorry, No, you explained something very interesting.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Now you.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Explaining makes me go, oh god, I did do that,
which was I kind of pushed my friends aside to
try to get closer to you because I was afraid
that you and I were drifting apart, and so I
did do that instead of relying on my friends to
help me get closer to you.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
And I think it's really important for those of you
that are getting married or earlier stage, actually any stage.
It's so important to have a friend. It's so so
so important. Because I just lost my train of not
because I am losing my mind.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Maybe call your friend and your friend will find your
train thought for you. Actually, you guys finish each other's
sentences all the time. No, you say it's so important.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
To have No, it is important. Well, I was thinking
in my head, you're hopefully and hope it doesn't have
to be childhood friends. You could meet fronts, although that
is nice, Like I am so.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Fortunate somebody that knows you.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
That has known me more than you know me. You know,
and and I'm not saying your siblings cannot be your friends,
because your siblings are the ones that know you and
will be with you the longest in your life if
you think about it, Yeah, you know, it's not your parents,
it's not your spouse, it's not your but if you
(11:46):
but you just have to be careful because you don't
want that relationship because again, if they're defending you, and
then rightly so you're coming to them because you're upset
in your relationship, well they should most likely take care
unless you're me and then you're like, well, I want
to do no wrong.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Let's let's talk about different types of friends. And like
I was mentioning the red flags if somebody comes into
a relationship and they have no friends, Like if you're
in a relationship with somebody you're dating or you're going
to get you know, married, you guys are engaged, and
you're making a list of people to invite or people
(12:25):
to stand up for you in a wedding. And there's
some people that would be like, I don't really have
close people, or they're inviting some guy that they just
started working with.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Is that a red flag?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Is that a person that hasn't Is that a person
that hasn't nurtured a friendship? Would he not nurture or
she not nurture your marriage?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Your marriage? Yeah? Well, and also again then you are
going to be listen, I think that. I think this
is what I wanted to say. It's very normal when
you start a relationship to then be you are my everything.
It's like, you know, you leave your friends and kind
of because it's a new and you want to be
with that person all the time. And you know, but
(13:09):
I would caution everyone and just you know, it's what
is that bros Before hose and all that. I just
I think that. And I will tell you a relationship
that I love how Luke and Riley are. I love
how they are. I love And I'm not saying I
(13:30):
don't like Jonah. Listen. I'm not saying I don't like
Jacob and Chris because I do. Let each one of
the relationships have you know, there are positives, but I
will tell you this, what I love about Riley and
Luke is he has his guy time, she has her
girl time, and then they have their time. And grant,
(13:52):
I know that they've you know, known each other for
a year, they've been committed seriously dating for a couple
of months, but their whole time that they've been talking
for the year, he has said to me time and
time again, Oh, she's with her friends tonight, and I
just want to hang out tonight and just play video
games or I'm going to go hang out with the
(14:12):
guys like which is so And I say to him
all the time, I love that you two do that.
I love when we were in Cancun, they came and
hung out with me for a day and she was
going with her friends that night and they were having
a quote unquote birthday party and he was going. They
(14:32):
were all on the same resort, so of course they
ended up seeing each other at some point, but they
were making a point to just spend time up. Heart. Yeah,
and I just because that's by the way, that also
can show you that there's trust and then you're secure
in who you are as a person if you because
then your identity can unfortunately become the other person's identity,
(14:56):
which is not healthy and not good.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
What do you think of the relationships that go this
way where you start your relationship and then your friends
become their friends because they see this sometimes so I
bring a friend into the relationship, or you bring a
friend into the relationship, and now I'm becoming their friend too.
(15:19):
Is that overstepping the bounds of taking somebody's friends?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Interesting?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah, I mean I think that you have stages of
friends that you haven't. I want to check about that
coming up next, like the stages of friends over the years.
But you think if you all of a sudden start
having the same friends.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Well, it's good to merge, and it's good that you
should be able to feel comfortable to talk to Leah
and Tanya and Jenny. But if all of a sudden
they you want them to be your best friend, that's
a problem. That's a problem. First of that was my friend. First,
go find your own friends. But I just think that
that's you know, I just don't think that that's good
(15:56):
because that's my security blanket. Security blanket, that's my compt
when I'm having problems, I need to go talk I
have to talk to them because I trust them, I
trust their advice, I trust their you know, for me,
it's I don't by all means yes, you guys. I
(16:16):
want you to want to be around my friends for sure,
but they're not to be your best friends, nor.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Do I want your I Also, sometimes when that does happen,
I think it's usually the person trying to keep the
friends close so that they can can well be protected.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
And sometimes that yeah blurs the line of there's nothing
wrong with having a best friend and then or one
of my best friends and you're then you become really
close with their husbands, or that's like you and Dennis
Leah and I You and Dennis, nothing wrong with that.
But if if it came into like you trying to
(16:55):
call Leah and weigh in on stuff, I think that's
an appropriate I really really do.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Although there are times when I think that your friends
and I like I have asked questions like how is
she doing? Because you don't always necessarily share things, but
I don't seek that out if they're around or if
we talk in I think you have Everybody has levels
of friends too, and I think your levels of friends
(17:23):
are interesting. You have your friends from birth. You know
your uh, your grade schoolish type friends or high school friends.
Then you have your college ish type friends you know
that come into play like high school college ish type friends.
Then you have your coworker friends, like the people that
you share an occupation with. Then you have your relationship
(17:48):
friends like parent relationships the parent then parent friends, neighborhood
friends like all those kind of things, and you go
through the gamut of stuff, And I I think it's
really wild sometimes how your stages of friends can also
be seasonal. Like you have like friends that you might
(18:10):
hang out with more in the summertime. You have friends
you might hang out more sure in the wintertime. But
it is true that your friends that you get from
the early stages of your life are truly the ones
that kind of know you the most.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Well because they've they've grown up with you, They've seen
all the versions of you, so sometimes they know you
better than you know yourself in certain situations. But I
think it's also like you shouldn't dismiss any of those
friendships that are all important. They're all It's funny when
people reach out to me and will DM me about
how did you get through this in your marriage, and
(18:46):
how did you get to I'm dealing with this and
a lot of it I say to them is surround
yourself with people who are in the same same things
that you're going through. You have little kids, you need
to find mom who have little kids you you know,
or this because again no one because you think you're
(19:07):
on your lone island dealing with all of this. I
guarantee you they're all going through it too, you know.
And the good ones are the ones that will be
like really real with you, and those are the ones
to stick with because you'll read out all the others.
Great to have acquaintances, it's great to have, you know,
people you meet for coffee or whatever. But you'll find
(19:29):
the good ones and you'll find the ones that give
you good advice. And because you just can't you don't
realize how lonely marriage can be, because it really really can.
This is why you lean on friends. It's important to
have friends in my opinion.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
All right, We're going to.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Go through some more cards because I always get the
negative card about me and I want to make sure
that's multiples. Can I just pick a couple? Yeah, I
don't know why I'm picking.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
In the middle. They seem like they always have. Harry
got a couple here right now. Okay, Okay, I don't like.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Any of these ones either. I'm just kidding. Actually I
like these because they're both. They're both kind of similar.
You want to go first, you want me to go first,
You go first.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Okay. How would you describe this stage of our relationship.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Empty nesting or no?
Speaker 3 (20:23):
I would the second act?
Speaker 2 (20:25):
The second act. I would describe it as we put
all the work in and now we can kind of
enjoy a little bit. Like there is uh, there's a
level of stressfulness in it because of health is probably
played more apart. But also our kids are way more
stressful now than when they were little.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
You want to say, way more fun.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
No, they're fun, but it's still stress Like I worry
about all of them. I worry about not their futures,
but I worry about, you know, them getting involved in
in things now that potentially they you know, later in life,
are going to look back on and go go. I
(21:08):
wish my mom and dad would have said something to me,
but I don't want to say anything to them on
certain things, you know, and I don't. I think it's
some of it is my business but.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Another topic another day.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
But I do love.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I do love the level that we are at right
now that you that I feel more comfortable being apart
from you, and because I had not felt that way
early in our relationship.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I did not like you being away from me.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I will say this because for me, it's I'm in
this little phase because of what I just went through
where I'm like, you know, I'm going to travel, I'm
going to spend some time with my friends. I need
to go see my parents and spend some time out there.
But before where it would I'm list saying before it
(22:01):
would be difficult because we would have kids at home,
or you know, I felt bad leaving.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
You, or I kicked in scream going you're going away again? Yeah,
or we're not going to be together again?
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Yes, yeah, yeah that was difficult. Now we're definitely, but honestly,
we were struggling for a lot of that. So that's
a fair fair way to feel. But right now, which
an absence makes the heart grow fonder, like, it's a
lot more I look forward to, not that we're a
(22:33):
part all the time, but I do look forward to
seeing you, and then I see you and I'm look
forward to when I leave again and or you leave,
But no, I think that this time because we do
get to reflect upon we're not in the stress of
still raising the boys when they're little. It's you know,
oh my gosh, look at this photo that popped up
as a memory, and look at how tiny Luke was,
(22:55):
and look at Joe and oh my gosh, Jacob. Like I,
I'm enjoying getting to reflect upon great memories that we
have instead of staying on the nasty ones and the
bad ones and getting through that.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I had a moment that popped up the other day
and it was us at some event that Luke had
at school, and he was in great school at the time,
and I just remember the life back then was we
got to go to what tonight am?
Speaker 4 (23:27):
And now you.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Look back on it and you go, okay, all it
was was so fleeting.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
I know it is so fleeting, but when you're in
the moment, it's difficult, and it's okay to say, God,
this is such a hard part of life, because a
busy part of life. Because it is, and people like
us who are telling you just stay in the moment
and enjoy it, tell us to shut up. Because true,
like we've been there, we know that it's difficult running
(23:53):
from activity to activity to activity, just to and seeing
each other and passing some time times because your kids
are in different activities and one has to go one
and the other one has to go the other one.
And it's okay if you don't enjoy it. It's really
okay if you're counting down the days for them to
be over. I will say, though, that you will be
like us, and then you look back on it and
(24:15):
you'll go, oh.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
I wish that we didn't try to race through it. Yeah,
are these next two or next? The two cards I pulled? Are?
I got to go back and forth with them?
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (24:25):
So I got to do one and then go quickly
to the next, and then you do the last one.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Which traits do you think we have in common? What
traits do we have in common?
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I think that we're we love our family, so that's
not a trait. I think that we are we both
could be stubborn. We both are loyal to people that
we love. I think what become a little bit more lazy?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Wait? Am I lazy? I think I work hard. I
think you and I both are hard. Working.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Just kidding, that's hard. What traits I mean, because I
think that what is good about us is we are
like opposite of each other and then we can.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Bring what do you say?
Speaker 2 (25:23):
No, Because I think honestly, I think that the traits
that we have is we we do believe families first,
which is a good one.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
We do work hard.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
We are stubborn, and I don't think that our stubbornness
is always a bad thing because we both will eventually
try to see each other's you know, point of view
on it.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
I think we're both generous. Yeah, we're both generous. Yeah
with people.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
If this is the second question, if you could steal
one of my positive traits, which one would it be?
That might be more interesting one something that's different that
you don't have.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
Right, I probably being more forgiving you. You people will
do you wrong, and you said, like you're there and
you're hurt and you're upset, and then you move on.
I don't like I even carry yours to the grave.
(26:24):
I carry it, and I can still be around the
people that have hurt you and hurt me. But I
don't forget, and I can't pretend, not that you're pretending,
because I think that you are you honestly, You're just like, Okay,
I'm going to give you another chance. It's gonna give
another chance. It's gonna give another chance. And I don't
(26:45):
do well with that. So I wish I had a
little bit of that, because especially when people hurt you
and hurt my kids, I just I can't.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
What you said is what I kind of wish I
had for you. And by the way, I learned that
from my mom, because my mom it was crazy. We
would have people that would come into our lives that
would come over for dinner or yeah, and I would
I remember opening the door going I thought that person
talked shit about my mom, Like I would remember that,
and my mom would welcome him in and you know,
(27:18):
be so nice to them, and then they would leave,
and I'd go, didn't they not, you know, doing? And
it's like my mom was the most forgiving person in
the world. My mom was very forgiving. My dad not
so much. My dad would all the grudges people that
you know, his own family. Your trait that I wish
I had was and this is something Tony Travado and
(27:40):
I talk about all the time.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
With you.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
You are amazing at being able to decipher bullshit, like
your bullshit barometer is really good, and I wish I
had your you know, ability to be able to decipher
bullshit from people or things in places and all this stuff.
(28:03):
And I wish that I was able to say, you
know what, Okay, I'm done with that and move on
from something. And I don't need that in my life.
Sometimes if I feel like I need something in my life,
I'll deal with the bullshit.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
But you know what, two things can be true. You
can say I'm not dealing with the bullshit and this
is what I'm this is how you're going to fit
into my life. But you are just I feel like
you're that constant doormat with with some people, and it dry.
I carry it when when truthfully and honestly that's yours
to carry and I have to let it go. But
(28:36):
it just pisces me off because I see what a kind,
generous person you are with people, and you get ship
on all the time all the time.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Well you do your loyalty though, and it drives an
amazing what's your second question?
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Okay, how do you think we handle financial decisions as
a couple? Is there room for improvement?
Speaker 4 (28:59):
Absolutely? Now? I think we're horrible at it. I think
we have people that help us.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah, I don't think that the people we help necessarily
we listen to. Well, I think we don't listen to
them sometimes. But I think also there are times that well,
I only let we may listen to them too closely,
like we might want to bring others into it.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
But I laugh because I'm the one. Way back when
we first got married, way way back, I was pregnant
with Joey and I came home from work. I worked
at a hotel in the sales and catering department. I
was the secretary. Came home from work and I had
a horrible pregnancy with him. I was sick all the time.
(29:38):
It was just awful, and all I wanted to do
was lay down and watch TV. And you, for you
did mornings, but I don't know why you weren't home.
But you were not home, or maybe I I had
a day off. I can't remember. And I feel like
I came home from work regardless. I go to turn
on the television, and back then it was like every
channel was just the guide, every single channel, and I'm like,
(30:02):
what the hell? So you came home because it's I'm
sure we had cell phones, but it wasn't like you know,
this is the time when we had to wait to
talk to your spouse. So you come home and I
was like, what is going on? And you said, oh,
I maybe I didn't pay the bill, And so what
(30:22):
you did was and you didn't you had not paid
the capable. And I said, how do you what do
you mean? And you went up because I'm five to
one and you're six to four. You opened up a
cabinet and you would just throw the bills up. Do
you remember this, throw the bills on the top shelf?
And I said, well, how do you think you're going
to pay those bills? Oh, I'll get to when I
(30:44):
get to it. Literally, we did not. So from that
point on, I went out, I bought it filing cabinet,
and I thought, okay, this is now my responsibility was
to pay the bills. So which sometimes you know, we
don't talk about. Hey, this is a little bit out
of control. Hey like communication with that year.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
So at the beginning of this year was probably the
first time financially, you and I both said to each other,
all right, because we have a lot of things that
we're starting to figure out for the future. Yeah, and
knowing that I ain't going to be doing this for
for a ton.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Longer if you don't shape up well.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
But also there there was a bit of the things
that we've done. You know, we have done way more
than I think a lot of people have done. When
it comes to our kids have zero debt. Yeah, you
know they went into life.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
With but we agreed to do that.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
And being a.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Radio person, you know, there was always the talk of
you know, are you going to make enough money to
be able to even just afford your own bills? And
so I think that there is a level that we've
done an amazing job financially of being able to make
our kids' lives better, for sure, and we've been blessed
that way. But also we got to I think that
they're every day you got to worry about it.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
I mean, the price of gas is crazy, listen.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I agree. Yes, we have been very fortunate and very
blessed that you have excelled and done well in their career,
and in return generosity.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
You have really and helped others.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
You've helped others more than our children. It's gone way
beyond even our kids. But yeah, at times I'm like, Okay,
we need to pull pull it back, like, yeah, we
don't have to support everyone or do everything well.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
And I, you know, I think that we've all and
I say we all am you know, thinking the listeners
to this, like it's ridiculous when you used to be
able to go and enjoy a Friday night at a
restaurant and now you realize that it's just ungodly expensive.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
It makes no sense truly.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
But I'm also pumping gas, you know, Like now I'm
working downtown. I feel that the Tahoe that I drive
two to three times a week and that's like one
hundred dollars in gas sometime three hundred bucks a week
in gas just to go to work.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
And I don't really or go to visit clients. I don't.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
It's not like I have a ton of hobbies that
I go do. I know, But I know what a
downer of a question?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
No, I thought that was a good one.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
You know what trade I wish I had of Chelsea's.
I wish I had the trade of paying the bill
the cable fill
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Coming up on this episode of the We Don't Podcast,
you got a friend and me. Chelsea does not like
me and my friend. We'll talk about it right now
here on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Okay, So I learned something from Chelse and we had
to bring this to the podcast. Literally, I just learned.
I don't even know an hour ago or so that
she says that I have no friends. I thought I
had friends.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
No, you do have friends. You there are times in
your life. There's been times in a relationship where you
have not had a lot of friends. You've had acquaintances,
and you've had work friends, but you haven't there were
times where you, because of work or whatever, you just
didn't have close friendships.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I wasn't nurturing close friendships.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
So you said that.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
The way that you knew that I wasn't was because
what it was I doing.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
To you, Because you would want me to be your
only friend like you, I would have to meet that
need too. So I remember when the boys were little,
it was like in the thick of it, and it
was you needing me to also look to me to
also be your friend. So I was playing the role
of wife, mom and then now your friend, which give
(01:49):
me examples should be friends. Well, I think you just
relied on me for a lot jasure and I was
just smelling.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
It started smelling there for a second. Correct I was like,
does this mean.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
So gross? So there were times that I think, and
you can correct me if I'm wrong, but where you
didn't have I would say before some of our toughest times,
where you maybe you felt that tough times were coming
and so you just held on to me that much harder,
(02:27):
or you could sense that we were starting to drift away,
and then so you clung on a little bit harder
and instead of because I don't Again, a friend should
not like a good friend. Yes, you should be friends
with your spouse. When people say, oh, they're my best friend,
(02:50):
really watch that, because yes, you can be quote unquote
best friends with your spouse, but you really should have
someone that is not related to you, that is a friend,
preferably of the same secks, that you can reach out
to and talk to about issues going on in your marriage,
because you'll have them and you need an ear and
(03:12):
if it's a family member, they're going to take your side.
They're going to pick your side. It won't be but
you need someone because inevitably your marriage is going to
hit some really low lows and you can't talk to
the person.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
So you don't think that it's good that your friends
are family, because which in case, I actually would say
that a lot of my you know, friends are my family.
And I will agree with you on I made the
mistake of when you and I have gone through trouble
talking to my family about it, because it then is
(03:48):
a difficult thing for them to not sure hold that
against you as we continue.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
To they did, Yeah, for sure, Yeah, which which is fine,
Like of course, of course, first of all, your friends
are getting your version of it and how you're hurt
in the situation and what's going on for you. And
so when you take that to your family and they're
(04:15):
going to of course only see the side that is
presented to them, unless I can really call out the
person that's talking to them, which I think I did
a really good job with my brother and his marriages.
I think I really did he did, I played you don't.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Don't you think you sided sometimes with his wives?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Well, because I could call out my brother when he
had bad behaviors, I understand.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
But I think that as a sister that you're supposed
to be loyal to.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
See this is the problem. This is why you cannot
be and I will always be there for my brothers,
but when they are having shitty behavior, I call it out.
I don't have a problem doing that. So could that
have and could that cause a problem with me and
my brother? Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
We don't think though that his wives could also be
the problem, because I gotta be honest with you. I
look at but in the moment, fast and I don't
think that now they were always Well I'm just.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Talking about Listen. We don't have to go into his
relationship because that's not what this is about. I was
just saying, I unlike your family. I could sit back
and be like, well, his behavior isn't the greatest. Your
family is amazing in the sense that you siblings look
(05:31):
at each other and Bill, who owns a restaurant in
Porta Iota, created culinary Yes, Pat who is a retired teacher,
literally literally created the academic system on her own like
you guys think that each one word she did teach
the world. Yes, you guys, which I.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Love, Tony and Marconi.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Handedly hold up that my sister married Joe can bake
like nobody else.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
And I again, I think that is so amazing that
you guys are that way. But it's really hard when
you're married into that because as the quote unquote outlaws
that we call ourselves, it's very difficult to crack into that.
It's which, by the way, keep that close knit because
when your dad died, I saw the beauty of that.
(06:23):
I saw the most amazing part of that. But when
you are married to that, you know, I also see
the dark side of that too.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
All right, let's talk real quick because you know, we're
talking about how you need to have friends. You need
to have some good friends that you can, you know,
rely on when times are tough in your relationship. Is
it always good to share your relationship with friends.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Well, I think the beauty of that is you can,
especially when you have friends that are going through the
same like you guys both have young kids, or you've
been married around the same amount of time, or even
to have someone who's been married longer that can say
you know what you are, this is difficult, it's difficult,
but it gets better, or hey, you need to change
(07:14):
your behavior because that's not going to be productive to
get you through this. I think that's what friends do.
Family does not. Family is like oh, she's a bitch,
you're right, leave or leave or like I think that
that's you know, and then hopefully you do have friends
that can be like, yeah, you know, what, what are
you bringing to the table?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
What?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, you're right. Being married is really hard, and typically
wives nag. But why is she nagging? Why what is
going on? And vice versa, you know with women, you know, okay,
so what is going on? What does he not feel
fulfilled in?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
What?
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Like?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
There are miseryly love's company. So you don't want to
be around people that are like, yeah, I get a divorce.
That's unless really truly you should get it divorce, but
you know, we all get it.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
We were discussing, I think, on a prior podcast about
calling your spouse your best friend and why it's not
the thing yeah, which is good to reiterate that it's
not that you shouldn't be friends with your spouse, but
to say that they're your.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Best friend is probably not.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
As realistic as it should be for them, because best
friends are sometimes needed.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Like you just said, I think.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
People get locked up in that term because if you
say he's not my best friend, she's not my best friend,
then you are somehow like turning your back behind your
on your marriage or not telling not putting that person
on a pedestal that they deserve to be on, or
you're not giving your marriage a good light. I don't know,
(08:55):
but I when when I hear people say, oh, no,
he's my best friend, she's my best friend, I'm like, oh,
you know you are not my best friend. You are
my husband. I would never want to put the and
you should be my rock. You should be, but there
(09:18):
are times that you won't be. You should be my
safe spot, but there are times that you won't be.
You should be. And I should be able to talk
to someone and be like, oh, I'm so frustrated. You
can't expect to put everything on that. It's not fair.
It is not fair to do that to anyone, to
(09:38):
make them be your end all be all. It's just impossible.
And by the way, when something happens, because inevitably it does,
it will not saying it ends in divorce or but
God forbid. If you lose your spouse, death, whatever, you
hopefully have people that you can lean on around and
(10:00):
do and help you get through that great loss.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I think it's a red flag if a person doesn't
have friends. And it's interesting because I went into this
with that same feeling, even after an hour ago you
told me I don't have any friends. But you explained
something interesting. Sorry, No, you explained something very interesting.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Now you.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Explaining makes me go, oh god, I did do that,
which was I kind of pushed my friends aside to
try to get closer to you because I was afraid
that you and I were drifting apart, and so I
did do that instead of relying on my friends to
help me get closer to you.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
And I think it's really important for those of you
that are getting married or earlier stage, actually any stage.
It's so important to have a friend. It's so so
so important. Because I just lost my train of not
because I am losing my mind.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Maybe call your friend and your friend will find your
train thought for you. Actually, you guys finish each other's
sentences all the time. No, you say it's so important.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
To have No, it is important. Well, I was thinking
in my head, you're hopefully and hope it doesn't have
to be childhood friends. You could meet fronts, although that
is nice, Like I am so.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Fortunate somebody that knows you.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
That has known me more than you know me. You know,
and and I'm not saying your siblings cannot be your friends,
because your siblings are the ones that know you and
will be with you the longest in your life if
you think about it, Yeah, you know, it's not your parents,
it's not your spouse, it's not your but if you
(11:46):
but you just have to be careful because you don't
want that relationship because again, if they're defending you, and
then rightly so you're coming to them because you're upset
in your relationship, well they should most likely take care
unless you're me and then you're like, well, I want
to do no wrong.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Let's let's talk about different types of friends. And like
I was mentioning the red flags if somebody comes into
a relationship and they have no friends, Like if you're
in a relationship with somebody you're dating or you're going
to get you know, married, you guys are engaged, and
you're making a list of people to invite or people
(12:25):
to stand up for you in a wedding. And there's
some people that would be like, I don't really have
close people, or they're inviting some guy that they just
started working with.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Is that a red flag?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Is that a person that hasn't Is that a person
that hasn't nurtured a friendship? Would he not nurture or
she not nurture your marriage?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Your marriage? Yeah? Well, and also again then you are
going to be listen, I think that. I think this
is what I wanted to say. It's very normal when
you start a relationship to then be you are my everything.
It's like, you know, you leave your friends and kind
of because it's a new and you want to be
with that person all the time. And you know, but
(13:09):
I would caution everyone and just you know, it's what
is that bros Before hose and all that. I just
I think that. And I will tell you a relationship
that I love how Luke and Riley are. I love
how they are. I love And I'm not saying I
(13:30):
don't like Jonah. Listen. I'm not saying I don't like
Jacob and Chris because I do. Let each one of
the relationships have you know, there are positives, but I
will tell you this, what I love about Riley and
Luke is he has his guy time, she has her
girl time, and then they have their time. And grant,
(13:52):
I know that they've you know, known each other for
a year, they've been committed seriously dating for a couple
of months, but their whole time that they've been talking
for the year, he has said to me time and
time again, Oh, she's with her friends tonight, and I
just want to hang out tonight and just play video
games or I'm going to go hang out with the
(14:12):
guys like which is so And I say to him
all the time, I love that you two do that.
I love when we were in Cancun, they came and
hung out with me for a day and she was
going with her friends that night and they were having
a quote unquote birthday party and he was going. They
(14:32):
were all on the same resort, so of course they
ended up seeing each other at some point, but they
were making a point to just spend time up. Heart. Yeah,
and I just because that's by the way, that also
can show you that there's trust and then you're secure
in who you are as a person if you because
then your identity can unfortunately become the other person's identity,
(14:56):
which is not healthy and not good.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
What do you think of the relationships that go this
way where you start your relationship and then your friends
become their friends because they see this sometimes so I
bring a friend into the relationship, or you bring a
friend into the relationship, and now I'm becoming their friend too.
(15:19):
Is that overstepping the bounds of taking somebody's friends?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Interesting?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah, I mean I think that you have stages of
friends that you haven't. I want to check about that
coming up next, like the stages of friends over the years.
But you think if you all of a sudden start
having the same friends.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Well, it's good to merge, and it's good that you
should be able to feel comfortable to talk to Leah
and Tanya and Jenny. But if all of a sudden
they you want them to be your best friend, that's
a problem. That's a problem. First of that was my friend. First,
go find your own friends. But I just think that
that's you know, I just don't think that that's good
(15:56):
because that's my security blanket. Security blanket, that's my compt
when I'm having problems, I need to go talk I
have to talk to them because I trust them, I
trust their advice, I trust their you know, for me,
it's I don't by all means yes, you guys. I
(16:16):
want you to want to be around my friends for sure,
but they're not to be your best friends, nor.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Do I want your I Also, sometimes when that does happen,
I think it's usually the person trying to keep the
friends close so that they can can well be protected.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
And sometimes that yeah blurs the line of there's nothing
wrong with having a best friend and then or one
of my best friends and you're then you become really
close with their husbands, or that's like you and Dennis
Leah and I You and Dennis, nothing wrong with that.
But if if it came into like you trying to
(16:55):
call Leah and weigh in on stuff, I think that's
an appropriate I really really do.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Although there are times when I think that your friends
and I like I have asked questions like how is
she doing? Because you don't always necessarily share things, but
I don't seek that out if they're around or if
we talk in I think you have Everybody has levels
of friends too, and I think your levels of friends
(17:23):
are interesting. You have your friends from birth. You know
your uh, your grade schoolish type friends or high school friends.
Then you have your college ish type friends you know
that come into play like high school college ish type friends.
Then you have your coworker friends, like the people that
you share an occupation with. Then you have your relationship
(17:48):
friends like parent relationships the parent then parent friends, neighborhood
friends like all those kind of things, and you go
through the gamut of stuff, And I I think it's
really wild sometimes how your stages of friends can also
be seasonal. Like you have like friends that you might
(18:10):
hang out with more in the summertime. You have friends
you might hang out more sure in the wintertime. But
it is true that your friends that you get from
the early stages of your life are truly the ones
that kind of know you the most.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Well because they've they've grown up with you, They've seen
all the versions of you, so sometimes they know you
better than you know yourself in certain situations. But I
think it's also like you shouldn't dismiss any of those
friendships that are all important. They're all It's funny when
people reach out to me and will DM me about
how did you get through this in your marriage, and
(18:46):
how did you get to I'm dealing with this and
a lot of it I say to them is surround
yourself with people who are in the same same things
that you're going through. You have little kids, you need
to find mom who have little kids you you know,
or this because again no one because you think you're
(19:07):
on your lone island dealing with all of this. I
guarantee you they're all going through it too, you know.
And the good ones are the ones that will be
like really real with you, and those are the ones
to stick with because you'll read out all the others.
Great to have acquaintances, it's great to have, you know,
people you meet for coffee or whatever. But you'll find
(19:29):
the good ones and you'll find the ones that give
you good advice. And because you just can't you don't
realize how lonely marriage can be, because it really really can.
This is why you lean on friends. It's important to
have friends in my opinion.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
All right, We're going to.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Go through some more cards because I always get the
negative card about me and I want to make sure
that's multiples. Can I just pick a couple? Yeah, I
don't know why I'm picking.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
In the middle. They seem like they always have. Harry
got a couple here right now. Okay, Okay, I don't like.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Any of these ones either. I'm just kidding. Actually I
like these because they're both. They're both kind of similar.
You want to go first, you want me to go first,
You go first.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Okay. How would you describe this stage of our relationship.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Empty nesting or no?
Speaker 3 (20:23):
I would the second act?
Speaker 2 (20:25):
The second act. I would describe it as we put
all the work in and now we can kind of
enjoy a little bit. Like there is uh, there's a
level of stressfulness in it because of health is probably
played more apart. But also our kids are way more
stressful now than when they were little.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
You want to say, way more fun.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
No, they're fun, but it's still stress Like I worry
about all of them. I worry about not their futures,
but I worry about, you know, them getting involved in
in things now that potentially they you know, later in life,
are going to look back on and go go. I
(21:08):
wish my mom and dad would have said something to me,
but I don't want to say anything to them on
certain things, you know, and I don't. I think it's
some of it is my business but.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Another topic another day.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
But I do love.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I do love the level that we are at right
now that you that I feel more comfortable being apart
from you, and because I had not felt that way
early in our relationship.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I did not like you being away from me.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I will say this because for me, it's I'm in
this little phase because of what I just went through
where I'm like, you know, I'm going to travel, I'm
going to spend some time with my friends. I need
to go see my parents and spend some time out there.
But before where it would I'm list saying before it
(22:01):
would be difficult because we would have kids at home,
or you know, I felt bad leaving.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
You, or I kicked in scream going you're going away again? Yeah,
or we're not going to be together again?
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Yes, yeah, yeah that was difficult. Now we're definitely, but honestly,
we were struggling for a lot of that. So that's
a fair fair way to feel. But right now, which
an absence makes the heart grow fonder, like, it's a
lot more I look forward to, not that we're a
(22:33):
part all the time, but I do look forward to
seeing you, and then I see you and I'm look
forward to when I leave again and or you leave,
But no, I think that this time because we do
get to reflect upon we're not in the stress of
still raising the boys when they're little. It's you know,
oh my gosh, look at this photo that popped up
as a memory, and look at how tiny Luke was,
(22:55):
and look at Joe and oh my gosh, Jacob. Like I,
I'm enjoying getting to reflect upon great memories that we
have instead of staying on the nasty ones and the
bad ones and getting through that.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I had a moment that popped up the other day
and it was us at some event that Luke had
at school, and he was in great school at the time,
and I just remember the life back then was we
got to go to what tonight am?
Speaker 4 (23:27):
And now you.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Look back on it and you go, okay, all it
was was so fleeting.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
I know it is so fleeting, but when you're in
the moment, it's difficult, and it's okay to say, God,
this is such a hard part of life, because a
busy part of life. Because it is, and people like
us who are telling you just stay in the moment
and enjoy it, tell us to shut up. Because true,
like we've been there, we know that it's difficult running
(23:53):
from activity to activity to activity, just to and seeing
each other and passing some time times because your kids
are in different activities and one has to go one
and the other one has to go the other one.
And it's okay if you don't enjoy it. It's really
okay if you're counting down the days for them to
be over. I will say, though, that you will be
like us, and then you look back on it and
(24:15):
you'll go, oh.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
I wish that we didn't try to race through it. Yeah,
are these next two or next? The two cards I pulled? Are?
I got to go back and forth with them?
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (24:25):
So I got to do one and then go quickly
to the next, and then you do the last one.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Which traits do you think we have in common? What
traits do we have in common?
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I think that we're we love our family, so that's
not a trait. I think that we are we both
could be stubborn. We both are loyal to people that
we love. I think what become a little bit more lazy?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Wait? Am I lazy? I think I work hard. I
think you and I both are hard. Working.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Just kidding, that's hard. What traits I mean, because I
think that what is good about us is we are
like opposite of each other and then we can.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Bring what do you say?
Speaker 2 (25:23):
No, Because I think honestly, I think that the traits
that we have is we we do believe families first,
which is a good one.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
We do work hard.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
We are stubborn, and I don't think that our stubbornness
is always a bad thing because we both will eventually
try to see each other's you know, point of view
on it.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
I think we're both generous. Yeah, we're both generous. Yeah
with people.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
If this is the second question, if you could steal
one of my positive traits, which one would it be?
That might be more interesting one something that's different that
you don't have.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
Right, I probably being more forgiving you. You people will
do you wrong, and you said, like you're there and
you're hurt and you're upset, and then you move on.
I don't like I even carry yours to the grave.
(26:24):
I carry it, and I can still be around the
people that have hurt you and hurt me. But I
don't forget, and I can't pretend, not that you're pretending,
because I think that you are you honestly, You're just like, Okay,
I'm going to give you another chance. It's gonna give
another chance. It's gonna give another chance. And I don't
(26:45):
do well with that. So I wish I had a
little bit of that, because especially when people hurt you
and hurt my kids, I just I can't.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
What you said is what I kind of wish I
had for you. And by the way, I learned that
from my mom, because my mom it was crazy. We
would have people that would come into our lives that
would come over for dinner or yeah, and I would
I remember opening the door going I thought that person
talked shit about my mom, Like I would remember that,
and my mom would welcome him in and you know,
(27:18):
be so nice to them, and then they would leave,
and I'd go, didn't they not, you know, doing? And
it's like my mom was the most forgiving person in
the world. My mom was very forgiving. My dad not
so much. My dad would all the grudges people that
you know, his own family. Your trait that I wish
I had was and this is something Tony Travado and
(27:40):
I talk about all the time.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
With you.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
You are amazing at being able to decipher bullshit, like
your bullshit barometer is really good, and I wish I
had your you know, ability to be able to decipher
bullshit from people or things in places and all this stuff.
(28:03):
And I wish that I was able to say, you
know what, Okay, I'm done with that and move on
from something. And I don't need that in my life.
Sometimes if I feel like I need something in my life,
I'll deal with the bullshit.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
But you know what, two things can be true. You
can say I'm not dealing with the bullshit and this
is what I'm this is how you're going to fit
into my life. But you are just I feel like
you're that constant doormat with with some people, and it dry.
I carry it when when truthfully and honestly that's yours
to carry and I have to let it go. But
(28:36):
it just pisces me off because I see what a kind,
generous person you are with people, and you get ship
on all the time all the time.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Well you do your loyalty though, and it drives an
amazing what's your second question?
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Okay, how do you think we handle financial decisions as
a couple? Is there room for improvement?
Speaker 4 (28:59):
Absolutely? Now? I think we're horrible at it. I think
we have people that help us.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah, I don't think that the people we help necessarily
we listen to. Well, I think we don't listen to
them sometimes. But I think also there are times that well,
I only let we may listen to them too closely,
like we might want to bring others into it.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
But I laugh because I'm the one. Way back when
we first got married, way way back, I was pregnant
with Joey and I came home from work. I worked
at a hotel in the sales and catering department. I
was the secretary. Came home from work and I had
a horrible pregnancy with him. I was sick all the time.
(29:38):
It was just awful, and all I wanted to do
was lay down and watch TV. And you, for you
did mornings, but I don't know why you weren't home.
But you were not home, or maybe I I had
a day off. I can't remember. And I feel like
I came home from work regardless. I go to turn
on the television, and back then it was like every
channel was just the guide, every single channel, and I'm like,
(30:02):
what the hell? So you came home because it's I'm
sure we had cell phones, but it wasn't like you know,
this is the time when we had to wait to
talk to your spouse. So you come home and I
was like, what is going on? And you said, oh,
I maybe I didn't pay the bill, And so what
(30:22):
you did was and you didn't you had not paid
the capable. And I said, how do you what do
you mean? And you went up because I'm five to
one and you're six to four. You opened up a
cabinet and you would just throw the bills up. Do
you remember this, throw the bills on the top shelf?
And I said, well, how do you think you're going
to pay those bills? Oh, I'll get to when I
(30:44):
get to it. Literally, we did not. So from that
point on, I went out, I bought it filing cabinet,
and I thought, okay, this is now my responsibility was
to pay the bills. So which sometimes you know, we
don't talk about. Hey, this is a little bit out
of control. Hey like communication with that year.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
So at the beginning of this year was probably the
first time financially, you and I both said to each other,
all right, because we have a lot of things that
we're starting to figure out for the future. Yeah, and
knowing that I ain't going to be doing this for
for a ton.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Longer if you don't shape up well.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
But also there there was a bit of the things
that we've done. You know, we have done way more
than I think a lot of people have done. When
it comes to our kids have zero debt. Yeah, you
know they went into life.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
With but we agreed to do that.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
And being a.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Radio person, you know, there was always the talk of
you know, are you going to make enough money to
be able to even just afford your own bills? And
so I think that there is a level that we've
done an amazing job financially of being able to make
our kids' lives better, for sure, and we've been blessed
that way. But also we got to I think that
they're every day you got to worry about it.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
I mean, the price of gas is crazy, listen.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I agree. Yes, we have been very fortunate and very
blessed that you have excelled and done well in their career,
and in return generosity.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
You have really and helped others.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
You've helped others more than our children. It's gone way
beyond even our kids. But yeah, at times I'm like, Okay,
we need to pull pull it back, like, yeah, we
don't have to support everyone or do everything well.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
And I, you know, I think that we've all and
I say we all am you know, thinking the listeners
to this, like it's ridiculous when you used to be
able to go and enjoy a Friday night at a
restaurant and now you realize that it's just ungodly expensive.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
It makes no sense truly.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
But I'm also pumping gas, you know, Like now I'm
working downtown. I feel that the Tahoe that I drive
two to three times a week and that's like one
hundred dollars in gas sometime three hundred bucks a week
in gas just to go to work.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
And I don't really or go to visit clients. I don't.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
It's not like I have a ton of hobbies that
I go do. I know, But I know what a
downer of a question?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
No, I thought that was a good one.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
You know what trade I wish I had of Chelsea's.
I wish I had the trade of paying the bill
the cable fill
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