Ep. 188 From BMX To NCIS To Changing Hollywood's Disability Narrative with Actor Kurt Yaeger

What happens when a life-altering accident forces you to completely reimagine your future? Actor Kurt Yaeger discovered that sometimes the most devastating moments become the catalyst for extraordinary transformation. After a BMX crash led to the amputation of his left leg, Kurt didn't just pivot his career-he revolutionized how disability is represented in Hollywood. From professional athlete to acclaimed actor appearing across all four NCIS franchises, Sons of Anarchy, and The Good Doctor, Kurt's journey proves that success isn't about avoiding failure-it's about moving through it with unwavering enthusiasm.

Kurt shares the raw truth about navigating career pivots, distinguishing between constructive criticism and limiting beliefs, and why he believes changing society's perception of disability starts with authentic storytelling in film and television. Through his production company XA Films, he's not just advocating for better representation-he's funding it, creating opportunities for talented performers with disabilities to play complex, authentic characters. You'll discover why Kurt believes the entertainment industry's current approach to disability representation is fundamentally flawed and how he's using his platform to rewrite the narrative one project at a time.


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, everyone, Welcome to Achieving Success with Olivia Akin.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm your host, Olivia Akin.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Each week we will discuss the romp of achieving your
personal and professional success. We give you real life stories
on growing personally and professionally to achieve your life and
career goals with the help of some top notch guests. Today,
we are speaking with actor Kurt Jaeger. Kurt is a
powerhouse of resilience, creativity, and impact. From professional BMX athlete

(00:35):
to acclaim the actor, Kurt has redefined what's possible in
both sports and entertainment After a life altering accident led
to the amputation of his left leg. He's appeared in
hit shows like Sons of Anarchy, NCIS, The Good Doctor,
and Another Life, and is one of the only actors

(00:56):
across all four major NCIS franchise. Offscreen, Kurt is a
fierce advocate for disability inclusion in Hollywood, working with industry
leaders to expand representation and create lasting change. He's also
a director and writer with x A Films and Hunter Entertainment,

(01:18):
a production company driving authentic storytelling forward. Kurt's journey is
a testament to what's possible when purpose, passion, and perseverance collide. Hello, Kurt,
is fantastic having you on the show.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
Hi, thanks for having me. I love it. Thanks really excited.
I'm excited, you're excited. We're all excited.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Well, let's step in to start off the show. Can
you tell me what success means and looks like?

Speaker 3 (01:45):
To Kurt Yager, Well, that is actually one of my
favorite quotes uses the word success. It's Winston Churchill. It's
success is to the ability of going from one failure
to another with no loss of enthusiasm. And that's really
what it is because success people think of success as

(02:08):
the result, right, and the success is not. It's the
ability to just go through the trials and tribulations learn
and not lose heart and continue on. You still might
need to pivot and other things. So you know, failure
is a fundamental building block of success, and I think
that's what really is is like going through it with

(02:31):
a good attitude, going through it with high ethics and
character and sleeping well and still achieving your goals. That
success you know what I mean, money, sure stuff or
cool cars or whatever it is, right, Like, you know,
that's really interesting. But if you do it the right way,

(02:52):
then you you know, you kind of feel cleaning at
the end of it all.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
And I love that, not just because I think you're
so right in it really being a part of embracing
the journey. And I think that's why so many people
hit those goals or what they idolize what it looks
like to be successful, and then feel unfulfilled because they
didn't enjoy the ride, They didn't enjoy the.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Pivots, they didn't use those to learn.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
And to like, you know, stand tall on them and
be like, Okay, let me like how does this now
shape what I'm doing?

Speaker 2 (03:25):
And so on and so forth.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
But I also love how you brought up the fact
that failure should be a part of that. But also
it's not always about the shiny things. You know, working
in professional sports formerly having many different conversations with many
different individuals, how have you been able to balance the

(03:50):
shiny things as you know, a pro athlete and then
in the actor space that so many people get wrapped
up in.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah, I think that just came from experience, like being
able to juggle those things, because if you if you
achieve early success and then you realize that it's sort
of vapid, you know, like it's a moment in time,
Like even even like professional MMA guys, I heard a
podcast guy talking about how he won and it was

(04:20):
like an amazing seven minutes and then he was back
to training the next day. Hey, yeah, that's right back
at it. So we had this idealized version of the
way it is instead of letting things come as they
come and then and then for me, it's also recognizing
that this stuff, the success is like you could be

(04:43):
really driven towards it, but at the end of the day,
we're all we're all going to pass out of the
world and we're all going to go and most of
what we do and even gonna be remembered. And that's
not like a sad thing, right, It's not like, ah,
this is the worst ever. It's more like it's just
the reality of it. So then it makes you feel
like this the failures aren't so critical anymore. Even critical

(05:04):
failures aren't so critical, so you can kind of go
do it and let things go. But it doesn't mean
the shiny good ship is awesome, you know what I mean,
Like if I get a new motorcycle, I'm like, yeah,
this is awesome, you know, Like this is the coolest
fucking thing ever? Can I curse you can do whatever? Yeah?
What lack? Because I just did. But like, you know,

(05:29):
that seems to me to to like enjoy the fun stuff.
But don't make it like a part of who you
are your personality, right, Like if you look really good food,
make sure that you write like really basic food too, right,
Like everyone's like, oh, you know, I went to this
super restaurant they did this fault off the forum. Oh

(05:50):
it's great, And I'm like, yeah, and I had a
bag at the Rito yesterday. You know, it's like whatever,
like measure it have both a little bit.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
I love how you bring this up because for me
as well. I mean I love okay, don't even get
me started on trunk food because I have a very
big sweet tooth.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
And I tell people like, I'm like a young kid.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
You get drunk food from me, I'm good.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Who needs dinner when.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
You got chunk food? Yeah, and I'm so bad. Like
you go to like these really nice events and they're like, oh,
here's the cop yar and listen to that either, and
I'm like, I think I want chicken nuggets and you're like,
I'm a cake.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
The other day? What was it was it for lunch
or breakfasts. I've been on a cake lately of having
mint chocolate chip ice cream, and so we had some
in the freezer and I just take it out and
I'm skipping it.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
My boyfriend walks bike. He's like, are you having ice
cream right now? I just like.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
And I'm like, so, yeah, okay, exactly. So that's that's
how you take the shiny stuff with the regular stuff.
You're like, you want regular stuff. And I mean, look
at the in this stupid device, right, like it like
sends that information that's like this this manicured, sort of
like perfect version of who I am and what I'm solved.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Even saying that, right, and this is one of the things.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
And what I was kind of gonna mention before is like,
to me, I call those the A list moments. Everyone,
especially on social media, say your A list moments, and
I'm like, no one lives in a list life all
the time, Like rip that away. And I have found

(07:43):
myself as I've grown and changed, where if I know
someone and then they're showing up. I recently had this
with a friend who is no longer a friend anymore,
but I like I we would talk and you know,
life is imperfect, and I'd be showing up with her
she's and military spouse, and then on social media, every

(08:04):
post was how a wonderful life was and how this
and that, and I'm like, that is no. But like
I don't know if it was an insecurity or a
need to put that image out there.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
But when you do that, the.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
People who know you and know like and can see
through that, whether they know you personally or not, it
puts like an ick in their mouth. Like I was
just like I see that, and I'm like, oh, here
we go another post, right, and I'm like, true, this
isn't life, like, come on now and it and it's

(08:41):
sad of like what we've all come to expect of
certain platforms or how we show up, because it's like
you get such a better version when people pull back
the curtain.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. You want to know how it's made
and whatnot. Right.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
So, one thing I was very interested in, and you'd
mentioned pivots and you know, going through the lows and
going through.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
The highs, is you were BMX writer and in twenty
twenty I almost said twenty twenty six.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
In two thousand and six, your entire life trajectory changed.
Looking back, now, do you think there was a part
of you mentally or emotionally that already started shifting before
the crash happened, or for you, was it like crash happened?

Speaker 2 (09:33):
Okay, now what?

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Well, it's it's really interesting because you know, I was
working on my master's in hydrogeology, so I was doing
groundwater science and dam removal experimentations and fluvial experimentations at Berkeley.
I was going to as Have State, and you know,
I had a whole different career and trajectory and what

(09:57):
I was doing. And just like CO did for a
lot of people, the crash just it wasn't like an
instant kind of like thing because I spent three and
a half months in the hospital another year recovering. So
it forced me to stop and then look at life
and then evaluate it. Right like tomorrow, you have things
to do, the next thing, you have things to do.

(10:18):
There's things. But if COVID happened, you know, and you
have to stop and you're like, none of those things?
Why am I doing all these stupid things?

Speaker 2 (10:25):
Right?

Speaker 3 (10:25):
You just you have a moment to think and then
if you have a long moment, you start going maybe
I should just make some changes, or maybe I could
figure something else out. And so it was the theories
of decisions that sort of led me to make a change.
And it's not like it's not like the moment itself

(10:47):
was like Aha, a new pivot. It was sort of
a pivot in thinking about what I wanted out of life.
What did I used to want before becoming busy? What's
something kind of unachievable I was afraid of, Oh, I'm
gonna die anyway, So why don't I just do what

(11:08):
I want to do? And and and then it was
a series of like I would I wouldn't call it pivots.
Let's like think a bit like like the reason why
the Titanic couldn't miss the uh uh the I forgot

(11:29):
there is because that kind of a giant ship takes
a long time to turn, like both in time and distance.
You know, it takes like three miles for it to
like make a full U turn. And so it was
a series of like degree shifts, right that, like, what
do I want to do? Then well, maybe there's something

(11:52):
else I could do well? Then what's the impossible things
that I don't think I could do well? Maybe it's
not impossible, maybe it's maybe, and then maybe it's a
maybe it's not so much of a you know, and
it just sort of turns into something. And each one
of those, uh let's call the mini pivots like like, yeah,

(12:14):
these mini pivots come with, you know, fear of failure,
fear of you know, having your worst you know outcome,
like in your mind, like I know I suck. So
if I do this and it fails, then I proved
I sucked.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
Right.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
It's like those kinds of things, like we all think
those things, and so I think that ultimately the series
of pivots was just considering my time on the planet
short and then saying, you know what if it all
blows up and turns to ash in my mouth, who cares?

(12:50):
And you know, but a slow succession of that, and
then after you make the decision to do it's just
like going to the gym, right, Like if you're like, ah,
I gained too many pounds. Oh this is horrible. The
second you decide to go to the gym, well that
wasn't There was like five six decisions before that that
got you to go to the gym. And then going

(13:10):
to the gym five days a week just for an
hour or something. It's like, okay, you do that for
three months. Now you start seeing the benefits of it,
you know, and then you're like, all right, okay, you
know it's that it's that thing like it takes a
long time for you to make a true pivot, you know,
because because what pivot, pivoting is just turning. It's turning

(13:31):
and going. So you get to stop your momentum, slow down, slowly,
turn all the way back around and then put your
trajectory and a whole different you know. That takes energy
and wear a lot of people out, you know, emotionally,
So it's kind of a lot of it, like all
of it combined, you know, into like this master pivot.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
And I was very curious about your mindset in that
journey because not that I lost a limb to the
sport I played, but I was training for the Junior
Olympics when I was nine years old and diagnosed with
the rare form of the epilepsy. So overnight, my complete world,
everything I knew, everything I'd been doing for years completely

(14:15):
stopped right And in that time, I remember, you know, there.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
Was a month two months where the you know, my
parents were advocating for me, you know, the my trainers
were advocating, and we went from like in swimming, the
middle of the pool is always the fastest swimmers and
then it goes outwards. And then they were like, okay,
but for safety, we'll just put you at the end

(14:41):
of the pool so that if something happens we can
reach in, we can be right there.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
And you know, over time you lose the joy. You know,
there's it continues conversations. But I also remember looking back,
whenever I walked on the pool deck, right.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
All eyes were always on me. What's gonna happen, what
she gonna do?

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Oh that's the girl, Oh this, you know, like there
was all of that, and I could only imagine when
as you were going through, you know, what people were saying,
what people were speaking, or the potential.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Looks and for me, all of those things though, as
you kind.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
Of brought up all those small, small moments. Am I
gonna fire or is this just gonna be what it is?
And I'm gonna take it by the horns? And am
I gonna embrace it? And just whatever it might be
has led me to where I am now, And like
for me at least, and I love your insight on
that and on this, Like, now I have a shorter

(15:44):
overall I should say, and I'll put it quite blunt
it shorter tolerance for what I call the BS excuses.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
Sure, oh this was.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
The card I was dealt so and I'm like, okay,
who gets You're really you're going to use poor you know,
a poor environment or your parents treating you badly as
the excuse why you can't do X, Y Z or.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
Be a good person, like all those things.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
I have found, because of my experience in like pushing
through it, that I have a lower tolerance.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
Yeah. Yeah, I think I always have had a lower
tolerance for it because I have proven it so many
times over and over, and every naysayer has always been
proven wrong. But what it did is evaluating it. The
BS that they have is their BS. It's not mine.

(16:43):
It's not what I'm doing. And what it is is if,
for instance, five people in my life when I said
I'm going to go into film and television, I'm going
to go in to entertainment and they said, well you
can't do that. You're like us. They're not saying anything
about me personally, they're saying they don't believe that they
ever could and since we are equal, therefore right, like,

(17:04):
there's no way you could do it. And I think
that when you start hearing the nose or that bs
that way, you start reinterpreting like, oh, that's sad that
you think that about you, and then you just don't.
You don't get as angry anymore because like you just go,
it's that's your that's your problem, you know. And it's
not saying that you should completely absolve yourself from anyone

(17:26):
else's opinion. Because sometimes someone goes, hey, that's a bad idea,
and you're like, no, it's not. And then you're like, hmm,
actually it's a bad idea. You know, there's some things
that come along, but it's it's really evaluating it, how
you deal with it. Sometimes it's hard, you know. Sometimes
it's difficult to think that you're your best advocate. You're

(17:47):
the one that's going to believe in your ideas the most,
the idea in your head unless you prove it and
you show people at works, they probably won't be able
to see the vision either, you know, and and so
the only way they do it is, you know, to
deal with it. Properly is to go improve it, you know,

(18:09):
as hard as it is, and you know you'll lose.
Like you said, you lost a friend recently, which turns
out that just you didn't lose a friend, it was
just the realization they weren't right, you know what I mean,
Like that's really what it is. They were never really
going to be there, so it doesn't matter. But you
have to just go out and prove it, and you'll

(18:31):
lose people left and right here and there. Some people
were never supposed to be around you. Other people it's
just like you know, a season or a time that
you get to be with them and you separate a
little bit for whatever reason. But dealing with it, you know,
it's hard. I've written scripts and I've had people go, ah,

(18:53):
you know, I don't know, I don't know, and then
a year and a half later itselled, you know, and
I'm like, see all those people they didn't know anything either.
But it's also you know, distinguishing between the know now
you can't do it, and the why something might not
be good enough. Some people are trying to be critical

(19:16):
to help you, you know what I mean, Like that's
I am a critical person trying to make it beneficial
for you. Hear what I have to say or don't
doesn't matter to me. But you know, like so distinguishing
between those two categories, and I would say ninety percent
is BS and then ten percent is like gold. Now
you should be like interesting, let me make a small

(19:38):
adjustment here. And I think that dealing with it is
also it's the thing that's going to make you be
able to maintain the successful level that you're going to
get to, because it gets harder as you get better.
Like you talked about being an athlete, right, like how

(20:02):
many years before you were you said nine? How many
years before that were you swimming? And then you know
how many? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (20:11):
I was like twoities. I mean I'm five foot now
and like one hundred pounds. So like the fact that
was like a little.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
Redhead, Yeah yeah, yeah, you're a little little coffee cup
running into the water. It's like And so think about
this way, the more struggle you go through with people
and adversity, the more you're going to be more successful
later on. Because it is easy to go from zero

(20:44):
to fifty percent, it is hard to go from ninety
percent to one hundred percent, If not impossible, you know
what I mean. And that's the stuff that will give
you the fuel. Like if I do writing a screenplay
or swimming or whatever it is. Right, Like, let's say
a fast time, whatever you did, what would you do?

(21:04):
What was your sport or what was the event? The
main one?

Speaker 1 (21:08):
My main event was freestyle and I could do a
fifty three without breathing in less than thirty seconds.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Right right, And so imagine like what was the time
that you did that that in when you first started Oh.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
Wait over that, I was also like not breathing for
two laughs.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
Yes, yeah, I get it, I get it. But like
so whatever time in the race you started off with
and then where you were when you were nine was
easier from that from there to there, then it would
be from there to proper Olympics, do you know what
I mean? Like, because it's like you're putting in ten

(21:55):
times the amount of effort for less return, and so
the of knows and bs answers in terms of dealing
with it, they're the things that are going to help
you go further, and you don't know that while you're
going through it.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Right and for you, you know, I know we've talked
a decent amount about BMX, writing and like those moments
leading up to your acting career. But what as you mentioned,
you were in college as well, and like getting a degree,
what made you decide acting was the place you were

(22:32):
meant to be.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
Uh, I'll say it like it was like a series
of choices, Like BMX was sort of proving that I
was good enough physically, and then you know, a high
level degree that I wanted to pursue. Was like I'm
intellectual good enough, I'm smart, I'm well read, et cetera.

(22:56):
And then afterwards was like, oh, acting, that'll help me,
like more emotionally intelligent, that'll crank up my EQ. Yeah,
you're right, you know what I mean, Like that's the
that's what I need. And then you get through that
and you're like it's all bullshit. I was bullshitting me,
you know, like bullshit do you give yourself? And so

(23:17):
then then it was more like pursuing what you want
inside of that world. I think that the biggest thing
was that acting in the film business and writing and directing,
it's just hard. And you know, Sir Edmund Hillary was
asked when he was you know, climbing all the different
mountains and then he wanted to go to the Mlayas

(23:41):
and and climb what's the main main mountain a lot
of people die on right now, Kevin Njaro. Yeah, the
other one, exactly, Yeah, and yeah that one. Sir Edmund
Earliers asked why you climb mountains and he said because
of their everest, thank you, Yes, teamwork. So so he

(24:06):
has asked that and he says, because they're there, Like
that's sometimes the reason why it's valuable is because it's difficult.
You know, you don't get a lot of joy from
like I'm gonna go to the gym today and curl
the pen like so I'm not getting any value out
of it. But I'm also not getting any stimuli. And

(24:28):
so I think part of the you know, acting thing
is it was difficult. I come from a rough neighborhood.
I don't come from money. I had no connections to Hollywood.
I have no business doing it, didn't do classes, didn't
do theater as a kid, do you know what I mean?
Like maybe did like a church play once and when

(24:50):
I came out to play like you know the third
wise men, I was like, I'm not going on the stage,
and like just that down I was like horrified, you know.
And maybe when I was here, I staying a lot
and I got told I had too high pitch of
a voice. So it gave me a complex, do you
know what I mean. I'm like, I gotta, I gotta
overcome all of these things, you know, as opposed to
some kind of artistic pursuit. I think it's I think

(25:15):
it's different for me. It's it's fun and it's very challenging,
you know, Memorizing that much dialogue is difficult, and then
doing it as if you're saying it for the first time,
and then authentically and then changing it up on the day,
and then the lights and you have like forty five
people watching you because they're like holding a light and

(25:36):
action and you're like talking, and then you make eye
contact with someone that you're not meaning to who's.

Speaker 5 (25:41):
Just offset and you're like ah, and then you get
thrown Like it's just it's just difficult, and the challenge
of it is leasurable to me, And maybe that's just
part of it.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Is just that it's hard, you know, and.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
I can only imagine and you kind of just brought
this up as well, that each thing that you do
direct right act brings a different level of challenge and skills.
So for you, what are the things you enjoy most,
whether that's the challenges or the outcomes of each part

(26:15):
of that.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah, it's an interesting question, you know, I sort of
with Okay in acting, there's like, really, this is the
honest answer. There's two types of pursuits, the monetary kind
and then the artistic kind. So the one where you're like,

(26:38):
I'm doing this because they need a paycheck and you
do it right, Like if Dorito's called me and said, hey, Kurt,
we'd like you to be a sponsored person, and you know,
blah blah, one I would says because I love Doritos.
So anyone listening from Rita Lay's right here. But that

(27:00):
would be a commercial pursuit, you know what I mean,
Like it would be like trying to make sure that
you have enough capital so that you can do an
artistic pursuit. And then an artistic pursuit is like what
character do I think I can't play? But maybe is
in my wheelhouse? That is the fun one, right, Like

(27:24):
that's the one. When you accomplish it, you're like that
was awesome, or even if you fail at it, you're
like oh, I figured out what I need to do better.
So it's it's really challenging to do something that you're
not good at, and artistically that's more pleasurable. But you
really can't do one without the other. And that's in

(27:46):
any business, right, Like there's fun parts about podcasting and
what's the crappy part editing? Right, I mean, like you're like, Ben,
take this guy Kurt and cut up what's this mumbo
jumbo and then just make him sound normal so we
can get this podcast out. But like, directing is another

(28:07):
part of the business, and then producing and writing, and
each one of those has four or five caveats, like
how to do fundraising, how to do marketing, how to
do everything, and you have to know how to do accounting.
So everything has to do with something. And I just

(28:28):
as you get older, you realize that the crappiest parts
of whatever pursuit you're going after, you should be the
best at because everyone else hates it too. And if
everyone else hates it too and you're the best at
it for what you're doing, then you'll probably succeed further

(28:50):
and faster than they can. But my father did say
something very very wise, which was if you don't want
to do something, don't be good at it. There's a
cautionary tale in there, because if you're really good at it,
everyone will go, hey, you're really good at that, and
you're like, no, I'm I was doing it for me,

(29:10):
not for you, and then I offer you too much
money and then you're like, oh crap, now I'm doing
this for one hundred thousand dollars a year, but I
hate it, and now you're stuck.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
Well, one thing you mentioned is like playing different roles
that challenge you and so on and so forth.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
So I would be remissed as someone.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Who enjoys the NCIS franchise and a lot of the
different shows you have been on, but especially the NCIS
franchise because it is such a franchise.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
What has it been like being one of the only.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Characters to act on multiple of the work franchise shows?

Speaker 3 (29:53):
Awesome because the fans are awesome and they're always reaching out,
and like it is, it's a very un fulfilling business
in that you don't always know that you're doing good.
And so because you're on such a big franchise and
everyone's excited for you, then it makes you feel better
about like the hard Times, right, But shows like that

(30:16):
they're just huge, Like uh, you know Danielle Rua from
NCA s LA, Like, she's an amazing human, like just
like and I was like playing like her kidnapper killer,
you know character in that And we just became best friends.
And she's helping with.

Speaker 6 (30:32):
An organization that I uh a production company organization I
run XA, which is all about getting performers with disabilities
uh into critical roles, not just the prototypical ones that
you see uh.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
And so she's a huge advocate for us, and that
just came through working with her, and you know there
everyone was lovely. You know. One of my friends, Grant Anderson,
was one of the producers on that show and he's
helping out with that. But it's also a really good dude,
you know, being on critical shows like that. From an

(31:09):
industry perspective, everyone looks at your work and says, oh, okay,
he can do all the types of characters. So when
you're auditioning, they're not thinking can he act or could
he you know, adapt to this kind of a character.
They go, oh, no, that's Kurt. He can do it.
Is he right? Or do we think he's not right
for the role. So it's not good or bad anymore.

(31:32):
It's just you know what the director has in vision
for the character or not. But it's a little less
like value driven as opposed to artistic driven.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
For you, you just also mentioned something a lot of
us don't think about, is the metrics change when you
can show the diversification. But as well as you're on
a show that has such a pull, I mean the
amount of people that and I use and shows like

(32:06):
ncis as an example as well in podcasting, where I'm like,
you go onto Netflix, you go onto this platform, you
like the show, you don't know what to pick. You're
picking and rewatching from episode one, or you enjoy a
podcast you find the first two episodes or that newest
episode and you're like, oh, that's interesting, let me go

(32:29):
back and listen to episode one. You know, I still,
to this date, four plus years later, listens to episode
one of my podcasts two three, I still get clients
that I was a guest on, you know, from different
podcasts three and a half years ago, and they reach out.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
So you never know.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
But for you, is there like a fun, a sneaky
challenge to playing different roles within the same universe and
like franchise that is like entertaining for you as well
as like putting those hats.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
On and yeah, well yeah, because I'm a psychopath. I mean,
you have to have a certain level of sociopathy, which
is like psychological disassociation. So you kind of have to
become something that you're not. But somewhere in there there's

(33:27):
a piece of you as a part of it, and
you want to distinguish it and look like it's a
different kind of character, but you're trying to do it authentically,
and so it's a little it's pretty fun. I mean,
you know, sometimes it's scary because you know what the
scariest is is when you didn't audition for something and
they just pick you because they know your work and

(33:51):
they're offering you the role. And what's scary about that is,
I'm like, which Kurt are they asking for? Like, I
don't know, do they want the rough and humble, bearded
one which has been all super long for a film
that I'm gonna do here at the end of this year.
So I don't normally look like a mountain man right

(34:13):
with with a nice long sweater with with little sheep
on them, but I don't know Sons of Anarchyicer or
or the sweet n C I s or the mean
n C I s or my you know, you know
six or eight pack shirtless ability from another life, or

(34:36):
or you know the character I playing, or who was
a contract killer and he was just an evil like
so they're like, yeah, we want Kurt Enagger and I'm like,
for what, Like, how do you So that's that's horrifying
because I don't know what they what they're thinking of.
And I come on and they're like, I'm like, but
they're like, oh, that is not what we thought was

(34:58):
gonna happen. You see their eyes change and you're like,
something's not right, Hey, Kurt, that was great, Let's just
try it differently this time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
So it must be one of those things too, where
it's like okay now now, you know, right, like when
they correct you, you're like, okay, well now I got
some direction.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Yeah. And in the beginning, right like the first couple
of years, that would have been like, what's wrong? What's
wrong with me? What do you mean? That wasn't good?
Now I'm like, oh, they're looking for all right, be
more mean, let's get quieter and oh that's better, Kurt.
I like that, you know. Then You're like, I don't care.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
Yeah, Like even in business, I recently had a client
you signed and he did his like, Hey, I want
to start podcast to launch in two weeks, and we
were putting out episodes in two weeks. And I'm now
overseeing like the whole side of it. And originally he
was like, yeah, email me the guests info. I'll prove

(36:03):
it and then like do a vetting call and this
and that. And then like a weekend we're having a
conversation because he keeps asking me like about this and that,
and I'm like, I'm sending you all these emails and
I'm I'm.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
Sending you everything. Are you not reading here? And he's like, Olivia,
you really know what you're doing.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
You have good guests on your like amazing mind blowing
conversations and guests on your show. You know how to
pick them, just like go through them, decide you want,
and then schedule them and then tell me and I'll
have the pre call. And he goes, I hope that's okay,
And I said yeah, because now I know that's what
you want, and so I'm good with it. Like and

(36:44):
I even said to a member a laugh, I was like, yeah,
that's great. Less emails, less back and forth, and I
could just make the decision to move on. Glab we're
on the same page, and he goes, you're not mad
at me. I'm like, no, actually, you just made my
life ten times easier. And if there's anything else moving
forward that would make your life easier, let me know

(37:06):
because it'll probably make my life easier as well, and
the open conversation will allow us to move on. You
forgot it, And so I think sometimes taking that instead
of like what's wrong with me, I'm not doing this
right or get mad at yeah, yeah, it's taken that
moment to be like, Okay, there's nothing wrong with me.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
This is what needs to be done for you know,
this situation.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
But I want to also talk about you know, you're
directing and writing and why you've started in that area
as well, and one of the things you are very
passionate about. You touched upon it when speaking about NCIS
and different groups is advocating with for actors with disabilities

(37:52):
and you know, making sure they're in prominent roles, and
to me, I feel like that is still miss there's
a level of misrepresentation with it. I see it even
with epilepsy, Like when everyone hears about having epilepsy, they go, oh,
so like that movie or you can't do this, and

(38:14):
I'm like, no, that's false, you know, like that's what
you see in the movies.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
That's the extreme thing, right.

Speaker 3 (38:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
But even though is individuals being represented, So for you,
what has been the hardest boundary to push And is
there one moment you felt like that what you were
pushing forward actually helped the system move forward?

Speaker 3 (38:40):
I mean that's such a very, very big question. Uh so, yes,
I'll start at the beginning. Writing and directing is partly
the pursuit to control the narrative. In general, as an
actor you have very little control. As an actor with
a disability, you have less control. But I did start
writing and directing from day one when I pursued acting.

(39:03):
Like I've made short films, won a few awards, I've
written things, sold things, so not as big as I've
done as an actor, but enough that it's like still
like people like, oh, you're right, yeah, I've seen some
of your stuff. And how it relates to disabilities is
you know the majority of writers are non disabled people
writing about the disabled experience. It's like, hey, Kurt, I

(39:25):
want you to write a story about growing up as
a Zimbabwean when the rule of you know, some old
president you know, and You're like, how would I know
how to write that? And yet they all think that
they can write the disablings. And I think the primary

(39:48):
problem they do is they write the disability as it's
a character trait. Let's say a non disabled writers like, hey,
let's put a wheelchair user in here. Yeah, and then
they write the wheelchair user and and I'll ask them,
I'm like, what do you mean wheelchair user? And they're like, well,
you know, someone needs a wheelchair And I'm like, yes,
who's to someone? They're like what, And I'm like, a

(40:08):
wheelchair is not a character trait. It's a mode of transportation,
like EPILEPSI, right, is not the totality of who you are.
It's a necklace it is, it is a piece of you.
It is you know, me missing a leg is the
least interesting thing about me. It just happens to be.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
You know.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
Could it make for some funny moments and some good
movies and some things. Sure? Can it be played with? Yeah?
But is there any time that it's ever done authentically
in a way that shows value along with maybe the
hardships that come with it. You know, no, never, you know,
it's always shown in the negative, like oh, you lost

(40:48):
your leg and so you're a military and you feel
bad about and like, no. I've had directors literally say
when I walk across the scene, they're like, hey, Kurt,
can you like limp more? And I'm like, well, how
long has the character been an amputee? They're like it's
like ten years. I'm like, man, he's fine. Then at
least I'm fine. But you know what I mean, like

(41:11):
I wear pants and you can't tell. Not because I care,
but because I like to be able to do both things.
So the representation, as you mentioned, you can point to
the one movie or the two movie example, and that's
why it's so bad. And people think that that's a
justification for not having more disabled people and performers in

(41:33):
film and television as a means to make it normalized.
I mean, if twenty percent of the population has a disability,
that's pretty common. That's a pretty common number, not one
percent twenty percent. So you're like, well, where's all the stories,
where's all the interesting things, and they'll write the disabled

(41:55):
character instead of writing a character and then being like,
I like a wheelchair user to play this person, or
I'd like someone with epilepsy to play a character who
doesn't even have epilepsy, and then can have it in
the show. As we go along, who informs us and
we learn about it eight episodes later and we didn't
even know because there was no issue at all ever,

(42:17):
not even once because not to speak in your terms,
like maybe there's the medication that allows you to not
have any and then oh, you were on vacation and
lost it and that became an episode's like thing and
it was like, actually that would be a thing, right right,
Like that would be okay. Now it's out with the
character and then everyone's like she's kind of outed and
it's like now it's a thing, and you're like, it's

(42:38):
not a thing, you know, and yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
And it's even you know, the thing with it as
well as like you just said, twenty percent of people
will have a disability, well this one.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
It used to be this that one in ten.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Individuals experienced at least one seizure in their life. Now,
with the knowledge we have around epilepsy and all that information.
It's one in twenty three people. That's still a classroom
of kids, that's still getting together for Thanksgiving with your family.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
At least one person.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
At the dinner table, whether they know it or not,
would have or will have an experience with epilepsy. Now,
when you think about that kind of stats, you're like,
oh wow, okay, now what does that mean?

Speaker 2 (43:29):
Where's that knowledge?

Speaker 1 (43:30):
And it's one of those things, like you said, it
doesn't define who you are. Like, there's been many times
I don't lead with like, oh yeah I have this,
this is.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
I thought, I'm n and there's okay, thanks.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
And there's been times people have said ignorant things and
I'm looking at them and they're like what and I'm like, well,
you know someone with that.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
You know someone.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
That's the problem. Here's the problem with that. And that's
why I'm trying to get everyone on board with the
production company because we take donations. I want, like every
person with a disability to give us five dollars. That's it,
because the reason why it keeps happening is because it's
not in film and television. You can have like an
advocacy group come to your place of office or your

(44:22):
work and tell everybody about wheelchair users. And then you
go back home and you watch two as a TV
a night and you get reprogrammed that there are no
wheelchair users except the sad ones we see in there,
or they're in the Barbie movie and she's just dancing,
no offense to that, there's no character. It was just
the person going, you know, like great, but it didn't

(44:43):
have substance. And so like, without changing the narrative in
film and television, I don't think we can change the
narrative of society. I really don't. It doesn't matter what
these big organizations are, like we're doing the ten k
with it. I don't Personally, I don't care anymore. I've
watched it for the the last forty years not be successful,
So why continue doing the same thing.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
So yeah, and it's like one of those things if
you don't get the stories out, Yeah it is, it's
just going to keep repeating. The pattern's just going to
keep repeating, right, And that's why too. Sometimes I enjoyed
the moments of the ignorance because it's a moment to
also teach. And so when someone says something and I

(45:28):
get to be like, oh, well, you actually.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Know someone who has epilepsy and they're like, no, I don't.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
And I'm like, you're looking at her as you're saying
but now yeah yeah yeah, And they're like wait what.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
And they're like what do they say? You do? They
say this not the interrupt, but do they say, well,
you're not like the typical You're not like the You're
not like and you're like, you mean like the movies
portray us, that's that's not typical. This is And I.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Also say, like, you know, I haven't had seizures in years,
so like on some stuff like health insurance and this
and that, I would not be labeled Cazear free or
I would be labeled like Caesar free.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
I don't have to disclose anything.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
However, they do like to this day, you brought up
medication earlier.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
I'm still on medication.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
Why because you know they always say when you're on medication,
you're not and you're caees, you're free. You know you'
you're gonna be see your free this second. You take
yourself off medication, you not open the door, especially like
for me who've been on medication for twenty years. You
you really don't know, and there could be that one trigger,

(46:39):
like my trigger to you epilepsy was parmesan cheese. I'd
allergic reaction to parmesan cheese.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
Okay, to this day, I love Italian. I am half Italian.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
So like I said, like I can have it.

Speaker 1 (46:54):
In my caesar salad, I cannot have it baked into things.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
And so I can taste this second like one bite
into pizza and there was parmesan cheese. Used. I've looked
at people.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
I'm like, there was parmesan cheese and that wasn't there
And they're like yeah, I'm like okay, done, Like and
they're like wait, and I'm like, you know your body
when you go through certain things, you know your body.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
But it's one of those things.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
That like people are cause you just don't know.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
People just don't know.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
It's so interesting, you know for me to be like,
what is the driving driving factor? Because like you said,
if it's being represented on TV one.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
Way, like only one way.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
Yeah, and that's what people are gonna remember like always.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
And and so what we do is we take donations
uh through five oh one c three so full tax
righte off. I mean it's only five bucks. Like we
don't want disabled people to give us a ton of money. Like,
if you're a super rich person with disabilities, great, give
us some capital. But you know, we do high dollar
stuff like quarter million dollar films as part of those projects,

(48:03):
so we need a lot of donations to do it.
But we take capital and then put it into film
and then immediately say, Okay, we want that character to
be played by that person. And that person happens to
be an actor who's already got all of their acting
chops and everything, and they happen to have a disability,
and the production is contractually bound to change nothing in

(48:26):
the script, so it's just them playing a character, and
that's how we actually change things. So we're we're we've
done a few projects now, I think we're at six
and we're doing a seventh, So you know, raise a
little over a million bucks, but we need like ten
million to be truly effective.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Well, what I'm gonna do as well is, yeah, you're
gonna give me that link and in the description of
this very episode, there will be a link, so anyone
who wants to donate can just click it and donate
now and forever.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
So awesome, that's great, that's great, and it's it's so
It's so huge because I know so many talented performers
with disabilities that aren't getting work, you know, and being
passed up. And I've had conversations with production and studios
and I don't I'll never out these people because they
came to me, honestly, but they're like, we can't hire

(49:25):
this person because we think it's going to cost as
much money and it doesn't, or they the director is
giving low back saying well, I don't want to hire
that person because we don't have time to build a ramp.
And I'm like, you build a ramp for all the
camera equipment, what's the like, there's no different, you know
what I mean? Like, it's just baffling. And so the

(49:47):
only way that really gets through is the monetary discussion,
and it gives us the power to finally say, hey,
that's enough of that, or at least you continue doing
that bullshit over there. We're gonna do this cool shit here.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
I love it. I love it well. I can't believe
our time has come to an end.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
I feel like, oh, I know, I'm like, there was
so much more for us.

Speaker 3 (50:14):
I told you, because yeah, yeah, we're two yappers.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
I mean, yeah, Well, thank you, Kurt, for all of your.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
Insight today wonderful. Thank you so much. I had a
great time and much success to you.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Thank you. And a few of our key takeaways from today's.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Conversation though there was way too much and I got
way too centered on what we were actually talking about
to write them all down, but a few of them
is failure is a fundamental and building block of success.
I think this, you know, covers so many pieces of
what we talked about today.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
Is you've still in those moments of failure, whether.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
It is accidental or you hate a roll block, whatever
it might be, embrace it, be like okay, and understand
and live in those moments because they are going to
only help you as long as you let them help
you get to where you're supposed to be right and
Kurt brought this up. He's also demonstrated it in stories

(51:19):
throughout the conversation.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
You've got to let them lead you and.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Be comfortable with going along for the ride to some
extent and not being so focused on what the outcome
will be. As well as a pivot is to stop
and actually.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
Go for something. I think I love that.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
That's really the first time when talking about pivots or
these different changes we all have in one life that
it's like we stop and you actually and Kurt actually
like said, you know what, no, like a pivot is
when we completely stop and then actually go for it.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
You have to actually take the action.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Many times we've seen people have that bright idea or
say this is what we should do or we need
to change this, but then don't actually take the action.
So one of the challenges I'm giving you guys today
is like, if you're gonna pivot, embrace the pivot, but
also actually go for the pivot and dive into it,
Like Kurt, did you know going from BMX writing to

(52:24):
now acting, writing, directing, being such an advocate for the
disability community, like lean into it because all those things
help you to where you were meant to be, as
well as distinguish between the no and the no. But
this is why I love how Kurt brought this up,

(52:45):
because so many times when we hear no or change this,
we take it as we're failing and not the right person.
They don't know what they're talking about. And yes, there
are always this people. As Kurt said, I agreed with,
there's always those people. But there are also people that
are saying no, and this is why to help you

(53:06):
better improve yourself, So be mindful of that as well
and take the critiques and be like, okay, do I
want to now? Follow that and be okay with whatever
the outcome is, if you decide not to go with
it or you go with it. This was a great
episode with our top notch guest actor Kurt Jaeger.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Thank you for listening and have a successful day.