October 22, 2025 • 47 mins
Too many people spend their lives working without ever discovering their true calling. Certified coach and DISC expert Scott Maderer joins us to explore how to get out of your own way, reclaim your time, and align your work with what truly matters. Through powerful mindset shifts and real-world tools, Scott helps you see how to use your talents and treasures to live your dream—on purpose.
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Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Ask Good Questions Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/ask-good-questions--6441735/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The topics and opinions express in the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We
make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No
liability explicit or implies shall be extended to W FOURCY
Radio or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments
should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for
(00:20):
choosing W FOURCY Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,
six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at
W fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we
will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,
as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,
(00:49):
let's join your host, Anita bell Anderson, as together we
start with Asking Good Questions.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hello, and welcome to the Ask Good Questions podcast. I
am so happy that you're here with us today. My
name is Benita bell Anderson, and we are going to
have a fantastic topic today in talking about getting out
of your own way and finding and fulfilling your true calling.
(01:23):
We're going to get into that. So I'd like to
invite my guest to the proverbial podcast stage. His name
is Scott Matterer.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Did I say that right?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
It's actually mad.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
So I want to.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
That's okay, You're not the first person that.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
So, uh, Scott.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Scott is in Texas and I'm in Hawaii. As some
of you may know, we're we're here for like another
seven months. Our year in Hawaii is going fast. But
let me tell you a little bit about Scott and
then I'm going to have him expand just a tiny
bit more on who he is. He is an expert
(02:09):
in helping people transition from working to living their calling.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
So I'm going to be asking you that for Scott,
so whatever that looks like for them.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
He speaks on helping people identify their calling, get out
of their own way so they can really live it out,
and how they can deal with their time. And these
are three things He really gets into time, talent, and
their treasures. So he talks on productivity and time management.
He talks a lot of leadership and communication, business and
(02:43):
personal money and finances. He's actually certified in disc personality
and communication tools, which I may have you explain just
exactly what that is. And he has been a working
coach since twenty eleven, doing coaching full time since twenty seventeen,
so he specializes in mindset and behavior change more than
(03:03):
the tools that he uses. So, Scott, do you have
anything you want to add to that about who you
are and what you're bringing to this.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
The only things I'll add I am. I'm married. I
have a beautiful wife, Carrie. She supports the business behind
the scenes. She doesn't like to be in front of
the camera or on the mic, but she likes to
be at the back of the room, so to speak.
That's her, that's her gifting and her thing. But she
definitely supports me in the business as well. I have
an adult son. He lives about three hours away from us.
(03:35):
For some reason, he wanted to move up to Dallas
and be closer to his girlfriend instead of closer to
mom and dad. Oh come, yeah, I know, I don't
get it, but yeah, exactly. So he's up there working
and living and like I tell people, he he's actually
managed to move out of the house and has it
come back yet, So we'll come back.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
That's a win.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
So okay, so we're gonna to try to break this
down because you know what's interesting when I found when uh,
we're both members of this thing called pod match, and
I look for people that can give like a little
bit of a spin. You know, I've been a financial
educator for a gazillion years and now with the podcast,
(04:20):
I also do health and wellness.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Well I found that's there seems to be a.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Lot of overlap with how healthy you are and the
money and how well you handle money, and but the
whole mindset thing comes up a lot. And so what
I'd like to start with is what, you know, this
whole finding your calling idea, what does that living your
calling or trying to find your true calling? What does
(04:47):
that really mean to you? And how is it different
from just you know, having a career.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Yeah, let's back up a step. So there's actually two
words that we use a lot interchangeably, but they need
completely different things, and we've sort of lost track of that,
and that the word career and the word vocation. We
treat them as if they mean the same thing. They don't.
So let's go back to the root word. Right, What
does the word career come from? It actually comes from
(05:15):
a word in Latin that means kart. So a career
is a cart. It's something that gets you from point
A to point B carrying something. It's a mode of transportation, right, okay.
Vocation comes from the same root word in Greek as vocalius,
(05:35):
which means to be spoken to, vocalization, vocal You know,
we hear those words and vocation. There's a reason those
words sound alike because they all really come from the
same word. Well, by definition, if you're being spoken to,
that means that there's a speaker, right that The only
way to be spoken to is someone's talking. So vocation
(05:58):
is really more about what you are called. We use
the word calling to do it. It means that some
higher power. Now for me, that's God, and I'm a
Christian background, but I honestly don't care if you believe
in that or not. The idea of vocation is that
something outside of you, something bigger than you, is calling
(06:21):
you to go in a certain direction or do a
certain thing. So when you think about that, that means
our vocation is actually bigger than just our career. Our
career is one place our vocation may show up. But
your vocation, your calling, your your purpose, your direction that
(06:41):
you're being called to that should show up in well,
how I'm a dad to my son, how my husband
to my wife, how I'm a member of a church,
how I'm a member of a board for a nonprofit,
as well as what I do in my career. So
vocation supersedes or is bigger than career when you look
(07:04):
at it that way and you really step back and
go to the definition of it, which means by the
way that if you're doing something right now and you're like,
this really isn't my thing, you know, I'm just having
to do it. Sometimes you do have to do a
career for a while to help discover and uncover where
(07:25):
you're calling shows up. It's okay to be uncomfortable in
something you're doing. That's actually probably part of the process
a lot of times.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Right well, I think in you, I mean one of
the things I have begun to have some success with
this podcast, which surprise the.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Heck out of me.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
But one thing I didn't expect when I started the podcast.
I didn't expect that I was going to enjoy it
so much and interviewing people and how much I learn
in the process. But like for you, the business, this
thing that you're doing. The thing that we're talking about
today is a callinggue for you.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Yeah, yeah, it was even there before I was a coach.
So what I mean by that is, for I spent
sixteen years as a school teacher, I spent eleven years
in the corporate world. Looking back and reflecting on it now,
I see the way that I showed up as a
teacher is related to the way I show up as
(08:26):
a coach. Guess what. It was also related to the
way I showed up in corporate leadership. You know. Yeah,
both were good and ill. There were things about the
way I led as a leader in an executive position.
I had a team of one hundred and eighty people,
lots of client work, on a plane all the time,
flying around the country. But yeah, but how I showed
up was related to for me, the same thing now
(08:50):
that happens in the way I show up as a coach,
and that I'm very much. You know, I'm socratic. I
tend to ask a lot of questions. I tend to
be more focused in lifting other people up than myself.
That's how I was as a teacher too. You know,
my mom's thing is, Scott, you've been a coach since
you were eight. You just didn't call it that, you know,
(09:12):
It's like, yeah, exactly, I was. I was always the
guy in high school that I was always in the
friend zone because I was the guy that all the
girls wanted to ask advice about their boyfriend. You know,
it was stinky whenever I was in high school. As
an adult male, now it served me. Well. You know,
my current wife will go, yeah, that's why I married you,
(09:34):
but in high school at sake. But because again, it's
really authentic to how you show up in the world.
That's really what calling means. And it's, by the way,
why we get stuck so often and feel uncomfortable so
often is because when we're showing up one way and
part of our life and then being forced to show
(09:56):
up a completely different way and another part of our
life where out of alignment. That's when we got more
to disstonance. You know, that's when our brain starts going, wait,
you know, one of these nintings is not like the other.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
You can tell we both watched Sesame Street.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
I was going to say, everyone of a certain age
just now singing that song, so.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Well, I'm sure you'll you'll agree with me. That I
feel like there's some people that feel stuck and just working.
So where would be the first place that they should
start with trying to uncover you know, if they can
feel that cognitive dissonance and go this is not it,
(10:44):
where would they start to start trying to figure out
where they go from here?
Speaker 5 (10:49):
So I kind of want to step and you give
a two part exercise, and this is literally something you
can do. Got this down while you're listening. You can
act do this in the next couple of days. So
the first half is to look backwards. And the reason
why I want to look backwards is we want to
look at the pieces that have already presented to us,
(11:12):
what's already shown up in our life, because a lot
of times there's clues there. So this is a pretty
simple activity. Take a sheet of paper. For those of
us of more mature years, I'll put it that way.
We might need a couple of sheets of paper. But
take a sheet of paper or two, divide it into
three columns left hand, middle, right hand side, down the
(11:33):
left hand side. Just start brainstorming everything you've done in
your life. Let me be clear, I didn't say every
job you've had, because that's usually where the first place
people go. You could be broader than that. You can
think about relationships, you can think about volunteering, you can
think about all the different activities that you've done. Again,
(11:55):
like I said, some of us have a more advanced age.
We'll need a couple of sheets of paper or for
the bull. Down the middle column, for each of those activities,
write down one or more things that you enjoyed about
that activity. Things that gave you joy, things that fed
you energy, things that you love, things that you know
(12:17):
when you did them, you were like this, clicks, I
like this. And again, you can be as broad or
as deep as you want. And then down the last column,
write something about that activity that didn't give you energy,
something that didn't feed your soul, something that took away joy.
Those sorts of things, and I hesitate to use the
word hate, because that's a strong word, but the things
(12:39):
that pulled you away right begin to breakthrough by the way.
I don't care what the activity was, or what the
job was, or what the thing you put down. You
gotta find at least one thing to put in each
of those columns, okay, because there is nothing out there
that is perfect, and there is nothing out there that
is completely imperfect. You always get information and there's always
(13:01):
some little piece that it's like, yeah, I hated everything
about this, but man, when I got to do that,
that felt good. Okay, great, put that one thing down.
There's always something that you can put down in these columns.
So just begin to brainstorm and then it's a lot
of times, by the way, this is a great activity
to do over several days, Like you know, sit down
(13:22):
and work on a little bit and then let the
back of your mind work, and then pull it back
out and write some more things down.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
At three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
You'll think that use this as a journaling activity, use
this as a reflection activity. By the way, I actually
have a lot of folks that say this is really
fun to do because they get a real bit. You know,
we never think about all the stuff that we do
in our life. But there's tons, right, there's millions of things.
Even a you know, twenty two year old like my son,
(13:49):
he's done this activity and he ended up with like
two and a half pages worth of stuff. But he's
looking at it going I never would have thought there
was this much. It's like, yeah, you know, we do
a lot in our life. Put that down. So then
youre going to look at this and start looking for patterns.
What shows up over and over again and the love column,
what shows up over and over again in the not
so love column. You know, what are the patterns that
(14:13):
keep showing up. You may use different words to describe them,
but you'll start noticing that there's certain activities that kind
of show up in different ways, but they keep showing
up over and over again. That gave you energy, and
the same thing for things that took away took energy
away from you. So this is the information you already have.
And again, I don't care if you're fourteen, forty four
(14:35):
or ninety four. You got some level of history for
what you've done already that you can draw from. So
that's looking backwards, that's looking for the building blocks. That's
looking for the information that already exists. But you mentioned
we need to transition, we need to figure out where
we're going, and going is a forward looking So the
(14:57):
second half of the activity is to do a forward
looking activity to begin to project yourself into the future.
So here's how I do it. I mentioned earlier I
was in the corporate world. I used to be on
planes all the time. So I'm gonna sit this in
an airport kind of in honor of that portion of
my life where it's been a lot of time in airports.
So imagine for a minute, you've been on a trip.
I don't care where it is. This is five years
(15:18):
from today, So it's five years in the future. Those
of you listening right now, when if they're hearing this
in those earbuds, this is something that you can begin
to imagine and picture. Imagine it's five years in the future.
You've been on a trip, and you know how a
lot of times when you're flying back from a trip,
you have that in between airport. You know, you fly
from one airport, you land, and then you change planes,
(15:40):
and then you fly the rest of the way home.
And as you're walking through that in between airport, you
get up to your gate and you look up and
above the gate it has those dreaded words flight delayed.
So you wait for a minute to talk to the
person behind the counter and you're like, flight's delayed. How
long is the flight delayed? They go to tell you this,
(16:00):
but it's like four hours. You're like, oh great, So
you do what anyone does when they're stuck in that
kind of situation. In between, you go find a restaurant
or a bar, depending on your particular flavor of poison
in the time of day, to go hang out for
a little while. So as you're walking in, I'm gonna
send it in a restaurant. I'm a teetotaler. I don't drink,
so child of an alcoholic, so I choose not to drink.
(16:21):
So I'm gonna set it in an airport. And walking
into this restaurant there in the airport, and as you're
walking in, remember five years from today. Across the restaurant,
you hear a voice, Hey, bdita, how are you doing?
And you're like, I haven't heard this voice in a while.
And somebody keeps walking up. It's a friend of yours,
somebody you knew fairly well, but they moved away. You
(16:43):
moved away, y'all got busy. You lost track. You're in
Hawaii for a year, you know, whatever it is, you
lost track of each other. And you, oh, yeah, me too,
you know. So you're walking into a strange place and
so it's like, I haven't seen you since high school here,
So what you have that moment and they're like, how
long are you here? You're like, I'm here for four
(17:06):
hours now. Unfortunately, they're like, well, I'm here for a
few hours. Let's grab a table and catch up. You
haven't talked to this friend for four or five years,
five years in the future. You sit down at that
corner table. Your friend looks at you and goes, man,
you look great. How have things been? And you go,
you know what, this has been the best five years
(17:26):
of my life. Because that's your job. Tell me what
comes after the word, Because what is showing up in
your career, what is showing up in your relationships, what's
showing up in your finances, what's showing up in your health,
what's showing up in your entertainment, what's showing up in
all of the different components of your life. That would
(17:47):
make you honestly say to somebody that's a dear friend
of yours, somebody you're never going to lie to, you
know what, this has been the best five years of
my life. And here's why this is happening, and this
that's happening. And you know what's interesting. I've never had
anyone sit down and write something like I won ten
million dollars in the lottery. That's not what makes us,
(18:08):
you know, value the last five years. It's other things.
It's how we show up in the world. So between
these two activities, what you end up with is a
list of kind of building blocks and information and a
little bit of an inkling of a roadmap of the
direction you need to head. And then step back and go, Okay,
(18:28):
what is the next small action that I can take
that would begin to move me in the direction of
that five year plan? Yepe, based on what I've already got,
what's the littlest, tiniest action I could take? And then
go take it?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
You know.
Speaker 5 (18:44):
And again that's where you take theory and begin to
put it into activity and action.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Well, do you believe that everyone has a calling or
or do you think that it just sometimes just morse
because of experience or growth or you know? But I mean,
I you know, in me thinking about that, I think
everyone has God given talents and things, and so maybe
(19:13):
in that way we all have a calling. But do
you think that that people will if they're attuned to
this or they can find it, or do you think it's.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Sometimes just.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Fritters away because people never pay attention. I think there's
a I mean, I think what I want to ask
you is we get distracted, right, we get so distracted
that I think that people don't you know, Like when
I was being asked what do you want to call
this podcast? I knew in my life that all of
(19:56):
the things that I had, all the mistakes i'd made,
had been because I hadn't asked.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
The right questions.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
And so I knew that I wanted the name of
my podcast to be asked questions.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
So do you think that people get distracted so they
never get here?
Speaker 5 (20:12):
So I think it's a both and not an either or.
So here's what I mean by that. A lot of
times we want to put things into box. You know,
everyone has a calling or no, you know, and and
the answer is yes to both of that. In that
I think everyone has a calling, but you're what you're
asking is what happens for us to uncover it?
Speaker 4 (20:34):
And the truly yeah, it's like.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
It's not a destination, so we think of calling it,
We're done, we've found it, it's here. It's not like that.
It's the journey. The journey is the calling. So yes,
your calling can shift and change and you can uncover
it more authentically and deeper. And you know, I'm living
my calling now in a different way i was when
(21:00):
I was a teacher, and I would argue in a
way that feels more authentic, it feels like a better fit.
It's it's better connected all of those cognitive distance. But
by the same copain, I'm open to the idea that
I may discover some things over the next year, five years,
ten years, however long I'm kicking around and sucking win.
(21:22):
You know that things that make me go huh, that's
an even better fit. I need to add more of
that into my life. So it's it's not evolving, yeah,
it's evolving all the time. It's growing.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Yeah, So I mean that.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
I mean one of the things I was thinking about
was like fleeting passions, And sometimes I've characterized myself as
being subject to the bright, shiny objects. I've been drawn
to this and drawn to that, and I've had interest
in this and that. They're not really passions or callings
but their interests. But I think that maybe maybe the
(22:00):
those passionate things that we are interested in can lead
to callings.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
They can't. So there's for those of you that are
listening and not watching There's a squirrel on the shift
a shelf behind me, right over my shoulder, there's a squirrel.
And there's a reason I have a squirrel on a
shelf is because when I'm talking.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
About you like shiny options.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
We all do. Everyone does. But the question you need
to ask is is it a squirrel or is it
an opportunity? Okay, So going back to that five year
plan activity that we did earlier, what you're looking at is, hey,
this thing is coming along. Is it something that seems
(22:43):
like it might move me in that direction? Not going
to get me all the way there, but by doing
this I might get a little bit more information, get
a little bit more feedback, get a little bit more data,
get a little bit more of an opportunity. Whatever it
is that kind of moves me in that direction at
least a little bit. Okay, that's clearly an opportunity. If
it the answer to that is yes. If the answer
(23:05):
is no, well now I need to go a little deeper,
you know. Now I need to start thinking how much
time is it going to take, how much energy is
it going to take? What is it going to pull
me away from?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
What?
Speaker 5 (23:15):
Am I gonna have to say? No? To to be
able to say yes to this thing, because guess what
yes means a no? You know, every year there's always
an opportunity cost. I don't care if it's time, I
don't care, if it's money, I don't care if it's health.
All of our life has opportunity costs. When we say
yes to one thing, we're automatically saying no to something else.
And so when you start realizing that, you can look
(23:36):
at it and go a little deeper and go what
am I going to have to say no to to
say yes to this? And if what I'm saying no
to is things that would move me in that direction,
to say yes to something that's not going to move
me in that direction, it's probably a squirrel. It's not
really an opportunity. It's a squirrel.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Well, what do you think of some do you think
people sometimes have misconceptions or maybe are arguing with you
right now, you know, saying you know, but I just
there's got to be some misconceptions about finding your true calling.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
Well, one of them, I think is that what we
talked about at the very beginning. I think so many
people think they're calling and their career or synonymous that
that what I get paid to do has to be
the part of my life that is one hundred percent
my calling. And it's like that's false on a million
different levels.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
You know.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
First off, I know people that go do something with
their career that only overlaps with they're calling a teeny
tiny amount, but they use that to fund their ability
to go over here and do something that's one hundred
percent alignment with their calling. And so if you think
about it, it's still showing up big time, you know,
in their life, but they're able to do compartmentalize and go,
(24:53):
I'm going to do something over here that's not a
perfect alignment. It's still not like it's completely out of alignment,
but it's not perfect so that I can go over
here and express this in a much more authentic way.
So it's it's that confusion that's the biggest misconception I see,
is this confusion that every single part of your life
has to be one hundred percent aligned with your calling
(25:15):
for you to find authenticity and happiness. And it's like,
I don't know anybody. I've yet to know. Maybe there's
someone out there, but I haven't met them yet, you know,
because guess what, the laundry still has to get done.
You know, there's always something, there's some part of your life.
And I know there's some people out there that love
doing laundry. But the point is there's some part of
(25:36):
your life that you kind of go I just kind
of have to do this, you know, I just have to.
It's part of being alive. And you're never going to
get perfect alignment. So stop looking for it. Stop thinking
that that's the goal. That's not the goal. The goal
is simply to be a little bit more aligned today
than you were yesterday.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Right, Well, do you think that sometimes people put up
internal barriers from living their calling?
Speaker 5 (26:03):
Only if they're human.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
That would be yeah, that would be getting out of
your own way, in minding.
Speaker 5 (26:09):
Out of your own head and getting out of your
own way. The biggest and again the biggest internal barrier
that I've seen just from personal and you know, I've
worked with over a thousand clients in this area, so
it's not just based on one or two things, is
that belief that somehow we have to know all of
(26:29):
the process and the end point. You know, we have
to know everything that's going to happen. You'll never even
get started. You know, I have to know everything, and
then I'll get started and it's like, guess what. Number one,
you're never going to know everything. And number two, what
earlier when I said have that five year plan, let
me give you a hint. You're not going to arrive
(26:51):
at the destination and the picture that you wrote down,
it's not going to be that picture. It will be different.
That doesn't mean it will be worse, though, because that's
the again, the misconception is people will go, oh, well,
if it doesn't work out exactly the way I thought,
then it's bad. It's like, no, that's not what that
means at all. A lot of times you'll uncover a
destination that's ten times better than what you thought, and
(27:16):
and you have to be open to that. And so
all too often we close ourselves off to all of
the great things because we're satisfied with the good things.
And it's like no, no, no, no. Good can destroy great,
actually more than bad can destroy great. It's easy content.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
You know I think that people, well, I you don't
like it. For me, I can remember that I had
the uh what do they call that? When when you
say I'm not good enough?
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:48):
You know, yeah, the impost yes, And I think mindset
can play into self sabotage.
Speaker 5 (27:56):
Absolutely, it's it's all mindset, you know. Again, and I
talk to people about time and money, right, you took
to our earlier said time, talent and treasures. Here's the trick.
People think the problem is time or money. It's not
the problem. The problem is always talent because it's not
time or money. Those are just finite resources. You have
(28:20):
a certain amount of time, you have a certain amount
of money. You know, what matters is how you relate
to them, how you use them, how you think about them,
the beliefs you have about them. It all comes down
to belief and behavior. So when you look at a
budget of money and you write numbers down, those numbers
(28:41):
don't really matter. What matters is the beliefs and behaviors
that are reflected in those numbers, right, And that's mindset,
That's what that is. So you know, I know people
that they don't believe they deserve more. Well, guess what,
You're never going to get it, you know. And I
(29:02):
know other people that think, you know, it's no longer
about deserving more, it's they think the world is obligated
to give them more. They're not going to get it either,
you know, because both of those are false outlooks how
you relate to the world. And so it's when you
get the mindset right, that's when you stop self sabotaging,
(29:22):
because you know, fear of failure self sabotage. Fear of
success also self sabotage. Yeah, it could be either end
of the extreme, because I think a lot of times
we just focus on the fear of failure part. Right.
I actually have seen just as many people messed up
by fear of success as by fear of.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Right. Yeah, I mean you're making me think of I
It's like what you know, It's like why not me?
You know?
Speaker 4 (29:47):
But like, whoa what if I'm successful doing this, then
I have to show up?
Speaker 5 (29:52):
What's that going to mean?
Speaker 4 (29:54):
Yeah, what's that going to mean? Oh no, mister Bill.
So what I'm what I.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Want to ask you is can you think of a
time when you had to get out of your own way?
Speaker 5 (30:05):
Absolutely? So one I'll use kind of one example that's
probably the most dramatic one in my life. But I've
got this is one of those. We could talk for
the rest of the hour and keep going because that's
like I asked you somebody, how about time that you
screwed up?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Scott, I already know that I got to have you
on another time to continue this.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Well, that's fantastic. But what uh many years ago, back
in and early kind of when I was in the
transition between teaching and corporate. So I was kind of
at the end of my teaching career. I was beginning
to burn out on that I hadn't yet transitioned to
the corporate. My wife and I were deeply in debt
and kind of living like typical Americans spend more than
(30:53):
you make and do all of these sorts of things.
We were actually in debt almost twice what I made
in a year, and so we were about sixty eight
thousand dollars in debt. I made a little less than
forty thousand dollars a year, you know that kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Actually, with all of the different clients i've you know,
when I do take of information, this is not that uncommon, not.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
As weird as it sounds like. But but and I
actually had become suicidal because of finances so a lot.
It's actually the number one cause of male suicide is
financial stress and financial worries because a lot of men,
myself included, look at ourselves as you know, we're the provider,
We're the protector. You know, it's a lot of our
self worth gets tied up in how well we provide
(31:37):
for our family. And I was feeling like I was
doing a terrible job. My wife would argue with me
and tell me I wasn't, but I felt like I was.
And I began to listen to talk radio. I drove
home down this long, windy road and I would listen
to talk radio to keep myself awake while I was
thinking about pretending like I fell asleep and driving off
(31:58):
the road to commit suicide. Yes, I know that's ironic
that I was listening to radio to keep myself awake
so that I could pretend to fall asleep, but that
was literally what was going through my mind. And they
changed the line up on the radio, and I kind
of began to hear the change from a I can't
remember who it was, a Bill o'reigley, I think, or
(32:20):
something that I would listen to. And again I really
didn't care what was on. It was really just hearing
somebody talk. They changed it to Dave Ramsey Show, and
so I start hearing this Dave Ramsey show. He's talking
about getting out of debt. He's talking about all this
stuffy and they have people come on the show and
start talking about being debt free. And I actually heard
(32:40):
a story from a couple that was a lot like
my wife and I wasn't exactly the same, but there
was enough overlap. And I'm yelling at the radio. I'm
arguing with the radio about how stupid this is, you know,
And then I hear this story that's kind of like,
huh wait, that's actually kind of close to us, and
(33:01):
they did it. Maybe there's something to this, and so
I began to hear it a little differently. So I
went that weekend and I one of the things he
said is he had come clean with his wife and
told her what he was feeling. This is the getting
out of my own way part.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
You know.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
Just guess what. I have a little bit of ego
and a little bit of pride, you know, I know,
I know it's shocking. I can't see any of that.
And I was going to protect my wife, and I
had sheltered her from all of this. My wife's a
smart lady. She knew everything that was.
Speaker 4 (33:36):
You're going to be a man.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
Yeah, exactly. All of that stuff is going on in
my belief system and the way I was raised and
all of these things. And I went, I sat down
with my wife. I said, we need to talk. And
we went and got in a private place and talked
that weekend and I said, you know, this is what's
going on. This is how much debt we have. She's like, yeah,
I know. And because again she's a smart lady, she
knew what was going on. Even though I was protect her,
(34:00):
she was protecting me by not adding to my stress.
I'm protecting her by not adding to her stress, which
basically meant we weren't talking to each other, which was
the worst thing we could have done. So we agreed.
We decided, hey, we're going to do something completely different.
We're going to change how we're living. We're going to
change what we're doing. And that's when we kind of
came together and I was able to get out of
(34:20):
my own way, give up a lot of the pride
and a lot of that. That's also when I returned
to faith, and a lot of things changed in my life,
and all of these dominoes kind of fell in the
same direction. Change careers, change this, change that, and in
two years eleven months. I'm not allowed to round that
up to three years because my wife gets mad if
(34:41):
I round it up to three years. So it's two
years eleven months. We ended up paying off seventy eight
tho eight hundred and fifty four dollars and forty two cents,
not that I know it to the penny, but I
know it to the penny. For anyone who's listening carefully,
you'll notice that that number is bigger than the number
I said at the beginning. Yeah, because in the middle
of that, I changed careers. I had emergency surgery. I
(35:03):
actually had a collapse lung in December, and then it
had to go back in January to have surgery because
the lung collapsed again. Anyone who knows how insurance works.
That means I got to pay everything twice, you know,
because one was in December and one was in January.
So we ended up adding more to our debt before
we got out of debt and then basically work to
(35:24):
do that. Average income during that time was fifty five
thousand dollars. And that's also where coaching came from, because
all of a sudden, people started showing up and going,
y'all are weird? Do you think you could help us
be weird? And it's like, well, sure, we could help you.
And I started helping people versus the ministry.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
And then was that the twenty eleven.
Speaker 5 (35:46):
That was back in twenty eleven, Yeah, okay, yeah, so
I got out of debt. We got out of debt
in two thousand and nine, and so twenty ten, and
I was kind of helping people just you know, just
friendly pro bono ministry through my church and stuff. And
by twenty eleven I started turning it into a business
and actually doing it, you know, and getting getting paid.
(36:09):
And then eventually.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Time, Yeah, did you start doing some I mean, what
helped that stick then? Because did you have some daily
practices or habits that you develop for yourself? Because really,
you can't coach people unless you've already done it yourself
for yourself.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I mean I learned that a long time ago too.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
I absolutely have daily habits and things and routines that
I continue to this day. My wife and I continue
to this day. We have weekly meetings about budget. I've
done a budget every month since we started that process.
But again, and I want to be careful when I
say this, because people hear, oh, you've done a budget,
that's what did it. That's not what did it. That's
(36:54):
just the daily habit that lets us have a tool
to communicate and be on the same page and agree
about our decisions. And that's the important part. So don't
don't miss the forest for the trees. Because I have
so many people come up, what's the perfect app? It's like, well,
you are you know your app? You know there is
(37:15):
no tool out there that's going to fix your life.
You've got to fix your life, right, So it's that
kind of realization. But yeah, that's that's the biggest routines
and things that I've done, uh and and been able
to keep in place, you know, to be able to
keep the focus on the communication, the behavior, the mindset,
those things.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
So let's explore that.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
I mean, okay, so there's you talked about time, talent,
and treasures. How do those three intercept what's your if
you step back, how do those three intercept.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
So at the end of the day, it all really
comes down to talent. So time and treasures are the symptom.
So here's what I mean. If you're if you have
a problem your earlier you said finance and health are related,
I would put time in that category. Two. I think
those three things are related. Well, why are they related?
Because your mindset and your behaviors and your beliefs are
(38:11):
reflected in your time, your money, and your health because
they create the habits, the routines, the structure, the you know,
all of that stuff. That's where it shows up. So
if you think of time and money and health, those
(38:32):
are symptoms. But the core problem, you know, comes back
to between your ears and in your heart. You believe
in what you how you that reflects in your behavior.
And that's why again I talk about time, talent, and
treasures because usually where we're seeing it, where we're feeling
(38:52):
the alignment problem is in our time or our money.
You know, for time, it comes down to usually some
version of I'm too busy to do what's important. So
people will say things like I'm too busy to make
it to my daughter's soccer game. That's a reflection of
a misalignment of priorities. You know, it's actually not that
(39:12):
you're too busy, it's that you've put a priority on
some of your soccer game you've chosen with money, I'm
too broke. Yeah, I'm too I make too much money
to feel this broke. You know, that's an example of
something someone would say. Again, what that is really reflecting
is a misalignment between how you're using your money and
(39:34):
how you really think, you know, you should be using
your money. You your deep seated beliefs are causing a misalignment.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Yeah, I mean so I can see there where if
someone's discerns, well, let's say that someone is saying, how
can I tell if I'm investing my talents in the
right places? It sounds like it's going to get back
to individual choices that you make every day.
Speaker 5 (40:00):
Absolutely always, the tiny choices that we make aren't tiny.
You know, we think they are, but they're not. It's again,
and I've had the same experience as you. I'm working
with somebody on time or I'm working with somebody on money,
and they come back later and they're like, I'm losing weight.
(40:21):
Why am I losing weight? And it's like, well, it's
real easy. You start getting disciplined in one area of
your life, it naturally makes you more disciplined than other areas, right,
because discipline is a belief in a mindset and so
it just spills over. And so it's not that we
sat down and said stop eating so much. You just
naturally started eating better and taking better care of yourself.
(40:44):
You know, it's I didn't have to tell you to
do it. Same thing. It always happens that way. And
by the way, I think it happens reverse too. I
know health coaches that are like they started getting healthier
and all of a sudden their money started getting straight.
You know, how did that happen? You know? Same thing?
You know, it's because the core is that discipline and
that habit and the behaviors and the beliefs and the
(41:07):
and so often we don't even know what our limiting
beliefs are. They're invisible to us. Oh no, eternal dialogue
is invisible. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
So you you've gotten into personality types, right. Maybe what
we'll do is we'll do a thing about that in
one of these days. But do you think that understanding
personality types and like taking some of them there's all.
I actually did a few of them not too long ago. Uh,
And I think it's aren't you involved in the enneagram?
Speaker 5 (41:39):
I know I'm familiar with anyagram. I do not use anyagram.
I use DISC. The only reason I use DISC is
not because it's better or worse. And you know, there's
Meyers Briggs, there's strength Finder. There's a million of them
out there. Here's my problem with all of them except Disc.
I'm not smart enough to carry it around in my head.
Disc is simple enough that I can carry it around
(42:00):
in my head and I can use it in real
time with people. All the other thing.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
That I've got, okay, well, but do you think that
that sort of thing can help you get some clarity?
Speaker 5 (42:12):
Absolutely, because all of those things, by the way, none
of them are good or bad. They're both. They're all
just tools, right, They're insights that we can get. You know,
God has made us in a certain way. This is
my belief. God has made us in a certain way.
I don't think any of these instruments gives us a
complete picture, you know, of our whole design. I think
(42:32):
all of them are glimpses through a little pinhole, you know,
to let us see a glimpse of some of that
wiring that we've been built with. And and so all
of them are useful in the fact that they begin
to give you insight right back to the same thing
into beliefs and behaviors that you naturally have a tendency towards,
(42:55):
and as you become aware of it, it lets you
begin to you use them where there's strengths and mitigate
them where they're weaknesses, because guess what, every one of
them is a strength, and everything is also a weakness.
By definition, if you have a strength, it has to
create a weakness. It just does. It's nobody's so perfectly
(43:18):
well rounded. Is to be strong in all components. You
know that that would make us God.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
You know, there's only one that I know of, and if.
Speaker 5 (43:29):
You know, I don't know about you. But one of
the best days of my life was when I realized
there was a God, and the second best days when
I realized it wasn't me. That's as I tell people,
that's about my pay grade. I don't get to make
that decision. But as we get insights into ourselves, it
lets us communicate better, lets us understand each other better.
It let's us understand ourselfs better. And all of those
(43:51):
things together begin to help us understand our beliefs and
our behaviors, so now we can get more in alignment.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Scott, I have loved this conversation this and like I said,
you're going to be on again. I can tell because
I have a whole bunch of other things I want
to talk about, but not today.
Speaker 5 (44:12):
I don't have me to come on anytime.
Speaker 4 (44:14):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
So for listeners who feel like it's too late, or
you know that they.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
I can't change direction.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
What would you say to encourage people to take a
look at this?
Speaker 5 (44:26):
If you are sucking wind, it's not too late. So
as long as you are breathing, it is not too late.
So my mother just turned eighty five. Okay, guess what.
My mom is still learning new things because you know,
that's what she believes, and that's who she is, and
that's how she lives her life. So there is no
(44:48):
too old. My great grandmother died at ninety ninety four,
ninety five years old. You know, my great grandfather died.
I've had all these long lived people, and I have
all these great examples of looking at people that live
their life well. And then I also have some examples
in my family of folks that didn't right. The point
isn't well they were too old or they were too young.
(45:11):
The point is their attitude and their philosophy and their
you know that that's what kept them.
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Well, I think you can or you think you can't.
Speaker 5 (45:18):
You're right, yeah, exactly the Henry Forward quote.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
Yep, yeah, so uh okay, so you're not too old?
Speaker 5 (45:28):
Never what's what's should? What's What's?
Speaker 3 (45:30):
One powerful question they can ask themselves today, what.
Speaker 5 (45:35):
Do you want out of life? Another version of that.
It's the same question, but phrase a different way. So
for people that that question hit wrong, what do you
want to be when you grow up? And by the way,
I don't care if you're eighty five, you can still
ask yourself that question.
Speaker 4 (45:52):
Good questions, Scott.
Speaker 5 (45:56):
Well, I hope so I tried to come on with
good questions. That's the name of question.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
All right, We've got to wrap it up, Scott. So
just to remind everybody, on my website, I have a
place where I put all the information about my guests.
So in a couple of days that information about Scott
will be there, so you can go and if you
want to follow up with him after this, then all
the information about where to find him will be there.
(46:25):
So with that, thank you so much, my friend for
joining me today.
Speaker 5 (46:30):
Absolutely, I'm honored to be here, and I hope you
that are listening. You just got some value out of
that and take action on it.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Thank you so much, and thank you so much for
joining the Ask Good Questions podcast.
Speaker 5 (46:44):
Bye bye bye bye.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Today's episode is over, but we need Ask Good Questions again,
didn't We don't miss out as we broadcast live every Wednesday,
six pm Eastern Time on a W four CY Radio
at w fourcy dot com. Joined Nina Bellmerson next week
for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement, behavioral finance issues,
(47:12):
health and wellness and more. Until then, remember to ask
good questions.
The topics and opinions express in the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We
make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No
liability explicit or implies shall be extended to W FOURCY
Radio or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments
should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for
(00:20):
choosing W FOURCY Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,
six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at
W fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we
will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,
as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,
(00:49):
let's join your host, Anita bell Anderson, as together we
start with Asking Good Questions.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hello, and welcome to the Ask Good Questions podcast. I
am so happy that you're here with us today. My
name is Benita bell Anderson, and we are going to
have a fantastic topic today in talking about getting out
of your own way and finding and fulfilling your true calling.
(01:23):
We're going to get into that. So I'd like to
invite my guest to the proverbial podcast stage. His name
is Scott Matterer.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Did I say that right?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
It's actually mad.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
So I want to.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
That's okay, You're not the first person that.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
So, uh, Scott.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Scott is in Texas and I'm in Hawaii. As some
of you may know, we're we're here for like another
seven months. Our year in Hawaii is going fast. But
let me tell you a little bit about Scott and
then I'm going to have him expand just a tiny
bit more on who he is. He is an expert
(02:09):
in helping people transition from working to living their calling.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
So I'm going to be asking you that for Scott,
so whatever that looks like for them.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
He speaks on helping people identify their calling, get out
of their own way so they can really live it out,
and how they can deal with their time. And these
are three things He really gets into time, talent, and
their treasures. So he talks on productivity and time management.
He talks a lot of leadership and communication, business and
(02:43):
personal money and finances. He's actually certified in disc personality
and communication tools, which I may have you explain just
exactly what that is. And he has been a working
coach since twenty eleven, doing coaching full time since twenty seventeen,
so he specializes in mindset and behavior change more than
(03:03):
the tools that he uses. So, Scott, do you have
anything you want to add to that about who you
are and what you're bringing to this.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
The only things I'll add I am. I'm married. I
have a beautiful wife, Carrie. She supports the business behind
the scenes. She doesn't like to be in front of
the camera or on the mic, but she likes to
be at the back of the room, so to speak.
That's her, that's her gifting and her thing. But she
definitely supports me in the business as well. I have
an adult son. He lives about three hours away from us.
(03:35):
For some reason, he wanted to move up to Dallas
and be closer to his girlfriend instead of closer to
mom and dad. Oh come, yeah, I know, I don't
get it, but yeah, exactly. So he's up there working
and living and like I tell people, he he's actually
managed to move out of the house and has it
come back yet, So we'll come back.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
That's a win.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
So okay, so we're gonna to try to break this
down because you know what's interesting when I found when uh,
we're both members of this thing called pod match, and
I look for people that can give like a little
bit of a spin. You know, I've been a financial
educator for a gazillion years and now with the podcast,
(04:20):
I also do health and wellness.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Well I found that's there seems to be a.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Lot of overlap with how healthy you are and the
money and how well you handle money, and but the
whole mindset thing comes up a lot. And so what
I'd like to start with is what, you know, this
whole finding your calling idea, what does that living your
calling or trying to find your true calling? What does
(04:47):
that really mean to you? And how is it different
from just you know, having a career.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Yeah, let's back up a step. So there's actually two
words that we use a lot interchangeably, but they need
completely different things, and we've sort of lost track of that,
and that the word career and the word vocation. We
treat them as if they mean the same thing. They don't.
So let's go back to the root word. Right, What
does the word career come from? It actually comes from
(05:15):
a word in Latin that means kart. So a career
is a cart. It's something that gets you from point
A to point B carrying something. It's a mode of transportation, right, okay.
Vocation comes from the same root word in Greek as vocalius,
(05:35):
which means to be spoken to, vocalization, vocal You know,
we hear those words and vocation. There's a reason those
words sound alike because they all really come from the
same word. Well, by definition, if you're being spoken to,
that means that there's a speaker, right that The only
way to be spoken to is someone's talking. So vocation
(05:58):
is really more about what you are called. We use
the word calling to do it. It means that some
higher power. Now for me, that's God, and I'm a
Christian background, but I honestly don't care if you believe
in that or not. The idea of vocation is that
something outside of you, something bigger than you, is calling
(06:21):
you to go in a certain direction or do a
certain thing. So when you think about that, that means
our vocation is actually bigger than just our career. Our
career is one place our vocation may show up. But
your vocation, your calling, your your purpose, your direction that
(06:41):
you're being called to that should show up in well,
how I'm a dad to my son, how my husband
to my wife, how I'm a member of a church,
how I'm a member of a board for a nonprofit,
as well as what I do in my career. So
vocation supersedes or is bigger than career when you look
(07:04):
at it that way and you really step back and
go to the definition of it, which means by the
way that if you're doing something right now and you're like,
this really isn't my thing, you know, I'm just having
to do it. Sometimes you do have to do a
career for a while to help discover and uncover where
(07:25):
you're calling shows up. It's okay to be uncomfortable in
something you're doing. That's actually probably part of the process
a lot of times.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Right well, I think in you, I mean one of
the things I have begun to have some success with
this podcast, which surprise the.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Heck out of me.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
But one thing I didn't expect when I started the podcast.
I didn't expect that I was going to enjoy it
so much and interviewing people and how much I learn
in the process. But like for you, the business, this
thing that you're doing. The thing that we're talking about
today is a callinggue for you.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Yeah, yeah, it was even there before I was a coach.
So what I mean by that is, for I spent
sixteen years as a school teacher, I spent eleven years
in the corporate world. Looking back and reflecting on it now,
I see the way that I showed up as a
teacher is related to the way I show up as
(08:26):
a coach. Guess what. It was also related to the
way I showed up in corporate leadership. You know. Yeah,
both were good and ill. There were things about the
way I led as a leader in an executive position.
I had a team of one hundred and eighty people,
lots of client work, on a plane all the time,
flying around the country. But yeah, but how I showed
up was related to for me, the same thing now
(08:50):
that happens in the way I show up as a coach,
and that I'm very much. You know, I'm socratic. I
tend to ask a lot of questions. I tend to
be more focused in lifting other people up than myself.
That's how I was as a teacher too. You know,
my mom's thing is, Scott, you've been a coach since
you were eight. You just didn't call it that, you know,
(09:12):
It's like, yeah, exactly, I was. I was always the
guy in high school that I was always in the
friend zone because I was the guy that all the
girls wanted to ask advice about their boyfriend. You know,
it was stinky whenever I was in high school. As
an adult male, now it served me. Well. You know,
my current wife will go, yeah, that's why I married you,
(09:34):
but in high school at sake. But because again, it's
really authentic to how you show up in the world.
That's really what calling means. And it's, by the way,
why we get stuck so often and feel uncomfortable so
often is because when we're showing up one way and
part of our life and then being forced to show
(09:56):
up a completely different way and another part of our
life where out of alignment. That's when we got more
to disstonance. You know, that's when our brain starts going, wait,
you know, one of these nintings is not like the other.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
You can tell we both watched Sesame Street.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
I was going to say, everyone of a certain age
just now singing that song, so.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Well, I'm sure you'll you'll agree with me. That I
feel like there's some people that feel stuck and just working.
So where would be the first place that they should
start with trying to uncover you know, if they can
feel that cognitive dissonance and go this is not it,
(10:44):
where would they start to start trying to figure out
where they go from here?
Speaker 5 (10:49):
So I kind of want to step and you give
a two part exercise, and this is literally something you
can do. Got this down while you're listening. You can
act do this in the next couple of days. So
the first half is to look backwards. And the reason
why I want to look backwards is we want to
look at the pieces that have already presented to us,
(11:12):
what's already shown up in our life, because a lot
of times there's clues there. So this is a pretty
simple activity. Take a sheet of paper. For those of
us of more mature years, I'll put it that way.
We might need a couple of sheets of paper. But
take a sheet of paper or two, divide it into
three columns left hand, middle, right hand side, down the
(11:33):
left hand side. Just start brainstorming everything you've done in
your life. Let me be clear, I didn't say every
job you've had, because that's usually where the first place
people go. You could be broader than that. You can
think about relationships, you can think about volunteering, you can
think about all the different activities that you've done. Again,
(11:55):
like I said, some of us have a more advanced age.
We'll need a couple of sheets of paper or for
the bull. Down the middle column, for each of those activities,
write down one or more things that you enjoyed about
that activity. Things that gave you joy, things that fed
you energy, things that you love, things that you know
(12:17):
when you did them, you were like this, clicks, I
like this. And again, you can be as broad or
as deep as you want. And then down the last column,
write something about that activity that didn't give you energy,
something that didn't feed your soul, something that took away joy.
Those sorts of things, and I hesitate to use the
word hate, because that's a strong word, but the things
(12:39):
that pulled you away right begin to breakthrough by the way.
I don't care what the activity was, or what the
job was, or what the thing you put down. You
gotta find at least one thing to put in each
of those columns, okay, because there is nothing out there
that is perfect, and there is nothing out there that
is completely imperfect. You always get information and there's always
(13:01):
some little piece that it's like, yeah, I hated everything
about this, but man, when I got to do that,
that felt good. Okay, great, put that one thing down.
There's always something that you can put down in these columns.
So just begin to brainstorm and then it's a lot
of times, by the way, this is a great activity
to do over several days, Like you know, sit down
(13:22):
and work on a little bit and then let the
back of your mind work, and then pull it back
out and write some more things down.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
At three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
You'll think that use this as a journaling activity, use
this as a reflection activity. By the way, I actually
have a lot of folks that say this is really
fun to do because they get a real bit. You know,
we never think about all the stuff that we do
in our life. But there's tons, right, there's millions of things.
Even a you know, twenty two year old like my son,
(13:49):
he's done this activity and he ended up with like
two and a half pages worth of stuff. But he's
looking at it going I never would have thought there
was this much. It's like, yeah, you know, we do
a lot in our life. Put that down. So then
youre going to look at this and start looking for patterns.
What shows up over and over again and the love column,
what shows up over and over again in the not
so love column. You know, what are the patterns that
(14:13):
keep showing up. You may use different words to describe them,
but you'll start noticing that there's certain activities that kind
of show up in different ways, but they keep showing
up over and over again. That gave you energy, and
the same thing for things that took away took energy
away from you. So this is the information you already have.
And again, I don't care if you're fourteen, forty four
(14:35):
or ninety four. You got some level of history for
what you've done already that you can draw from. So
that's looking backwards, that's looking for the building blocks. That's
looking for the information that already exists. But you mentioned
we need to transition, we need to figure out where
we're going, and going is a forward looking So the
(14:57):
second half of the activity is to do a forward
looking activity to begin to project yourself into the future.
So here's how I do it. I mentioned earlier I
was in the corporate world. I used to be on
planes all the time. So I'm gonna sit this in
an airport kind of in honor of that portion of
my life where it's been a lot of time in airports.
So imagine for a minute, you've been on a trip.
I don't care where it is. This is five years
(15:18):
from today, So it's five years in the future. Those
of you listening right now, when if they're hearing this
in those earbuds, this is something that you can begin
to imagine and picture. Imagine it's five years in the future.
You've been on a trip, and you know how a
lot of times when you're flying back from a trip,
you have that in between airport. You know, you fly
from one airport, you land, and then you change planes,
(15:40):
and then you fly the rest of the way home.
And as you're walking through that in between airport, you
get up to your gate and you look up and
above the gate it has those dreaded words flight delayed.
So you wait for a minute to talk to the
person behind the counter and you're like, flight's delayed. How
long is the flight delayed? They go to tell you this,
(16:00):
but it's like four hours. You're like, oh great, So
you do what anyone does when they're stuck in that
kind of situation. In between, you go find a restaurant
or a bar, depending on your particular flavor of poison
in the time of day, to go hang out for
a little while. So as you're walking in, I'm gonna
send it in a restaurant. I'm a teetotaler. I don't drink,
so child of an alcoholic, so I choose not to drink.
(16:21):
So I'm gonna set it in an airport. And walking
into this restaurant there in the airport, and as you're
walking in, remember five years from today. Across the restaurant,
you hear a voice, Hey, bdita, how are you doing?
And you're like, I haven't heard this voice in a while.
And somebody keeps walking up. It's a friend of yours,
somebody you knew fairly well, but they moved away. You
(16:43):
moved away, y'all got busy. You lost track. You're in
Hawaii for a year, you know, whatever it is, you
lost track of each other. And you, oh, yeah, me too,
you know. So you're walking into a strange place and
so it's like, I haven't seen you since high school here,
So what you have that moment and they're like, how
long are you here? You're like, I'm here for four
(17:06):
hours now. Unfortunately, they're like, well, I'm here for a
few hours. Let's grab a table and catch up. You
haven't talked to this friend for four or five years,
five years in the future. You sit down at that
corner table. Your friend looks at you and goes, man,
you look great. How have things been? And you go,
you know what, this has been the best five years
(17:26):
of my life. Because that's your job. Tell me what
comes after the word, Because what is showing up in
your career, what is showing up in your relationships, what's
showing up in your finances, what's showing up in your health,
what's showing up in your entertainment, what's showing up in
all of the different components of your life. That would
(17:47):
make you honestly say to somebody that's a dear friend
of yours, somebody you're never going to lie to, you
know what, this has been the best five years of
my life. And here's why this is happening, and this
that's happening. And you know what's interesting. I've never had
anyone sit down and write something like I won ten
million dollars in the lottery. That's not what makes us,
(18:08):
you know, value the last five years. It's other things.
It's how we show up in the world. So between
these two activities, what you end up with is a
list of kind of building blocks and information and a
little bit of an inkling of a roadmap of the
direction you need to head. And then step back and go, Okay,
(18:28):
what is the next small action that I can take
that would begin to move me in the direction of
that five year plan? Yepe, based on what I've already got,
what's the littlest, tiniest action I could take? And then
go take it?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
You know.
Speaker 5 (18:44):
And again that's where you take theory and begin to
put it into activity and action.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Well, do you believe that everyone has a calling or
or do you think that it just sometimes just morse
because of experience or growth or you know? But I mean,
I you know, in me thinking about that, I think
everyone has God given talents and things, and so maybe
(19:13):
in that way we all have a calling. But do
you think that that people will if they're attuned to
this or they can find it, or do you think it's.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Sometimes just.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Fritters away because people never pay attention. I think there's
a I mean, I think what I want to ask
you is we get distracted, right, we get so distracted
that I think that people don't you know, Like when
I was being asked what do you want to call
this podcast? I knew in my life that all of
(19:56):
the things that I had, all the mistakes i'd made,
had been because I hadn't asked.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
The right questions.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
And so I knew that I wanted the name of
my podcast to be asked questions.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
So do you think that people get distracted so they
never get here?
Speaker 5 (20:12):
So I think it's a both and not an either or.
So here's what I mean by that. A lot of
times we want to put things into box. You know,
everyone has a calling or no, you know, and and
the answer is yes to both of that. In that
I think everyone has a calling, but you're what you're
asking is what happens for us to uncover it?
Speaker 4 (20:34):
And the truly yeah, it's like.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
It's not a destination, so we think of calling it,
We're done, we've found it, it's here. It's not like that.
It's the journey. The journey is the calling. So yes,
your calling can shift and change and you can uncover
it more authentically and deeper. And you know, I'm living
my calling now in a different way i was when
(21:00):
I was a teacher, and I would argue in a
way that feels more authentic, it feels like a better fit.
It's it's better connected all of those cognitive distance. But
by the same copain, I'm open to the idea that
I may discover some things over the next year, five years,
ten years, however long I'm kicking around and sucking win.
(21:22):
You know that things that make me go huh, that's
an even better fit. I need to add more of
that into my life. So it's it's not evolving, yeah,
it's evolving all the time. It's growing.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Yeah, So I mean that.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
I mean one of the things I was thinking about
was like fleeting passions, And sometimes I've characterized myself as
being subject to the bright, shiny objects. I've been drawn
to this and drawn to that, and I've had interest
in this and that. They're not really passions or callings
but their interests. But I think that maybe maybe the
(22:00):
those passionate things that we are interested in can lead
to callings.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
They can't. So there's for those of you that are
listening and not watching There's a squirrel on the shift
a shelf behind me, right over my shoulder, there's a squirrel.
And there's a reason I have a squirrel on a
shelf is because when I'm talking.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
About you like shiny options.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
We all do. Everyone does. But the question you need
to ask is is it a squirrel or is it
an opportunity? Okay, So going back to that five year
plan activity that we did earlier, what you're looking at is, hey,
this thing is coming along. Is it something that seems
(22:43):
like it might move me in that direction? Not going
to get me all the way there, but by doing
this I might get a little bit more information, get
a little bit more feedback, get a little bit more data,
get a little bit more of an opportunity. Whatever it
is that kind of moves me in that direction at
least a little bit. Okay, that's clearly an opportunity. If
it the answer to that is yes. If the answer
(23:05):
is no, well now I need to go a little deeper,
you know. Now I need to start thinking how much
time is it going to take, how much energy is
it going to take? What is it going to pull
me away from?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
What?
Speaker 5 (23:15):
Am I gonna have to say? No? To to be
able to say yes to this thing, because guess what
yes means a no? You know, every year there's always
an opportunity cost. I don't care if it's time, I
don't care, if it's money, I don't care if it's health.
All of our life has opportunity costs. When we say
yes to one thing, we're automatically saying no to something else.
And so when you start realizing that, you can look
(23:36):
at it and go a little deeper and go what
am I going to have to say no to to
say yes to this? And if what I'm saying no
to is things that would move me in that direction,
to say yes to something that's not going to move
me in that direction, it's probably a squirrel. It's not
really an opportunity. It's a squirrel.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Well, what do you think of some do you think
people sometimes have misconceptions or maybe are arguing with you
right now, you know, saying you know, but I just
there's got to be some misconceptions about finding your true calling.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
Well, one of them, I think is that what we
talked about at the very beginning. I think so many
people think they're calling and their career or synonymous that
that what I get paid to do has to be
the part of my life that is one hundred percent
my calling. And it's like that's false on a million
different levels.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
You know.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
First off, I know people that go do something with
their career that only overlaps with they're calling a teeny
tiny amount, but they use that to fund their ability
to go over here and do something that's one hundred
percent alignment with their calling. And so if you think
about it, it's still showing up big time, you know,
in their life, but they're able to do compartmentalize and go,
(24:53):
I'm going to do something over here that's not a
perfect alignment. It's still not like it's completely out of alignment,
but it's not perfect so that I can go over
here and express this in a much more authentic way.
So it's it's that confusion that's the biggest misconception I see,
is this confusion that every single part of your life
has to be one hundred percent aligned with your calling
(25:15):
for you to find authenticity and happiness. And it's like,
I don't know anybody. I've yet to know. Maybe there's
someone out there, but I haven't met them yet, you know,
because guess what, the laundry still has to get done.
You know, there's always something, there's some part of your life.
And I know there's some people out there that love
doing laundry. But the point is there's some part of
(25:36):
your life that you kind of go I just kind
of have to do this, you know, I just have to.
It's part of being alive. And you're never going to
get perfect alignment. So stop looking for it. Stop thinking
that that's the goal. That's not the goal. The goal
is simply to be a little bit more aligned today
than you were yesterday.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Right, Well, do you think that sometimes people put up
internal barriers from living their calling?
Speaker 5 (26:03):
Only if they're human.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
That would be yeah, that would be getting out of
your own way, in minding.
Speaker 5 (26:09):
Out of your own head and getting out of your
own way. The biggest and again the biggest internal barrier
that I've seen just from personal and you know, I've
worked with over a thousand clients in this area, so
it's not just based on one or two things, is
that belief that somehow we have to know all of
(26:29):
the process and the end point. You know, we have
to know everything that's going to happen. You'll never even
get started. You know, I have to know everything, and
then I'll get started and it's like, guess what. Number one,
you're never going to know everything. And number two, what
earlier when I said have that five year plan, let
me give you a hint. You're not going to arrive
(26:51):
at the destination and the picture that you wrote down,
it's not going to be that picture. It will be different.
That doesn't mean it will be worse, though, because that's
the again, the misconception is people will go, oh, well,
if it doesn't work out exactly the way I thought,
then it's bad. It's like, no, that's not what that
means at all. A lot of times you'll uncover a
destination that's ten times better than what you thought, and
(27:16):
and you have to be open to that. And so
all too often we close ourselves off to all of
the great things because we're satisfied with the good things.
And it's like no, no, no, no. Good can destroy great,
actually more than bad can destroy great. It's easy content.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
You know I think that people, well, I you don't
like it. For me, I can remember that I had
the uh what do they call that? When when you
say I'm not good enough?
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:48):
You know, yeah, the impost yes, And I think mindset
can play into self sabotage.
Speaker 5 (27:56):
Absolutely, it's it's all mindset, you know. Again, and I
talk to people about time and money, right, you took
to our earlier said time, talent and treasures. Here's the trick.
People think the problem is time or money. It's not
the problem. The problem is always talent because it's not
time or money. Those are just finite resources. You have
(28:20):
a certain amount of time, you have a certain amount
of money. You know, what matters is how you relate
to them, how you use them, how you think about them,
the beliefs you have about them. It all comes down
to belief and behavior. So when you look at a
budget of money and you write numbers down, those numbers
(28:41):
don't really matter. What matters is the beliefs and behaviors
that are reflected in those numbers, right, And that's mindset,
That's what that is. So you know, I know people
that they don't believe they deserve more. Well, guess what,
You're never going to get it, you know. And I
(29:02):
know other people that think, you know, it's no longer
about deserving more, it's they think the world is obligated
to give them more. They're not going to get it either,
you know, because both of those are false outlooks how
you relate to the world. And so it's when you
get the mindset right, that's when you stop self sabotaging,
(29:22):
because you know, fear of failure self sabotage. Fear of
success also self sabotage. Yeah, it could be either end
of the extreme, because I think a lot of times
we just focus on the fear of failure part. Right.
I actually have seen just as many people messed up
by fear of success as by fear of.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Right. Yeah, I mean you're making me think of I
It's like what you know, It's like why not me?
You know?
Speaker 4 (29:47):
But like, whoa what if I'm successful doing this, then
I have to show up?
Speaker 5 (29:52):
What's that going to mean?
Speaker 4 (29:54):
Yeah, what's that going to mean? Oh no, mister Bill.
So what I'm what I.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Want to ask you is can you think of a
time when you had to get out of your own way?
Speaker 5 (30:05):
Absolutely? So one I'll use kind of one example that's
probably the most dramatic one in my life. But I've
got this is one of those. We could talk for
the rest of the hour and keep going because that's
like I asked you somebody, how about time that you
screwed up?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Scott, I already know that I got to have you
on another time to continue this.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Well, that's fantastic. But what uh many years ago, back
in and early kind of when I was in the
transition between teaching and corporate. So I was kind of
at the end of my teaching career. I was beginning
to burn out on that I hadn't yet transitioned to
the corporate. My wife and I were deeply in debt
and kind of living like typical Americans spend more than
(30:53):
you make and do all of these sorts of things.
We were actually in debt almost twice what I made
in a year, and so we were about sixty eight
thousand dollars in debt. I made a little less than
forty thousand dollars a year, you know that kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Actually, with all of the different clients i've you know,
when I do take of information, this is not that uncommon, not.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
As weird as it sounds like. But but and I
actually had become suicidal because of finances so a lot.
It's actually the number one cause of male suicide is
financial stress and financial worries because a lot of men,
myself included, look at ourselves as you know, we're the provider,
We're the protector. You know, it's a lot of our
self worth gets tied up in how well we provide
(31:37):
for our family. And I was feeling like I was
doing a terrible job. My wife would argue with me
and tell me I wasn't, but I felt like I was.
And I began to listen to talk radio. I drove
home down this long, windy road and I would listen
to talk radio to keep myself awake while I was
thinking about pretending like I fell asleep and driving off
(31:58):
the road to commit suicide. Yes, I know that's ironic
that I was listening to radio to keep myself awake
so that I could pretend to fall asleep, but that
was literally what was going through my mind. And they
changed the line up on the radio, and I kind
of began to hear the change from a I can't
remember who it was, a Bill o'reigley, I think, or
(32:20):
something that I would listen to. And again I really
didn't care what was on. It was really just hearing
somebody talk. They changed it to Dave Ramsey Show, and
so I start hearing this Dave Ramsey show. He's talking
about getting out of debt. He's talking about all this
stuffy and they have people come on the show and
start talking about being debt free. And I actually heard
(32:40):
a story from a couple that was a lot like
my wife and I wasn't exactly the same, but there
was enough overlap. And I'm yelling at the radio. I'm
arguing with the radio about how stupid this is, you know,
And then I hear this story that's kind of like,
huh wait, that's actually kind of close to us, and
(33:01):
they did it. Maybe there's something to this, and so
I began to hear it a little differently. So I
went that weekend and I one of the things he
said is he had come clean with his wife and
told her what he was feeling. This is the getting
out of my own way part.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
You know.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
Just guess what. I have a little bit of ego
and a little bit of pride, you know, I know,
I know it's shocking. I can't see any of that.
And I was going to protect my wife, and I
had sheltered her from all of this. My wife's a
smart lady. She knew everything that was.
Speaker 4 (33:36):
You're going to be a man.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
Yeah, exactly. All of that stuff is going on in
my belief system and the way I was raised and
all of these things. And I went, I sat down
with my wife. I said, we need to talk. And
we went and got in a private place and talked
that weekend and I said, you know, this is what's
going on. This is how much debt we have. She's like, yeah,
I know. And because again she's a smart lady, she
knew what was going on. Even though I was protect her,
(34:00):
she was protecting me by not adding to my stress.
I'm protecting her by not adding to her stress, which
basically meant we weren't talking to each other, which was
the worst thing we could have done. So we agreed.
We decided, hey, we're going to do something completely different.
We're going to change how we're living. We're going to
change what we're doing. And that's when we kind of
came together and I was able to get out of
(34:20):
my own way, give up a lot of the pride
and a lot of that. That's also when I returned
to faith, and a lot of things changed in my life,
and all of these dominoes kind of fell in the
same direction. Change careers, change this, change that, and in
two years eleven months. I'm not allowed to round that
up to three years because my wife gets mad if
(34:41):
I round it up to three years. So it's two
years eleven months. We ended up paying off seventy eight
tho eight hundred and fifty four dollars and forty two cents,
not that I know it to the penny, but I
know it to the penny. For anyone who's listening carefully,
you'll notice that that number is bigger than the number
I said at the beginning. Yeah, because in the middle
of that, I changed careers. I had emergency surgery. I
(35:03):
actually had a collapse lung in December, and then it
had to go back in January to have surgery because
the lung collapsed again. Anyone who knows how insurance works.
That means I got to pay everything twice, you know,
because one was in December and one was in January.
So we ended up adding more to our debt before
we got out of debt and then basically work to
(35:24):
do that. Average income during that time was fifty five
thousand dollars. And that's also where coaching came from, because
all of a sudden, people started showing up and going,
y'all are weird? Do you think you could help us
be weird? And it's like, well, sure, we could help you.
And I started helping people versus the ministry.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
And then was that the twenty eleven.
Speaker 5 (35:46):
That was back in twenty eleven, Yeah, okay, yeah, so
I got out of debt. We got out of debt
in two thousand and nine, and so twenty ten, and
I was kind of helping people just you know, just
friendly pro bono ministry through my church and stuff. And
by twenty eleven I started turning it into a business
and actually doing it, you know, and getting getting paid.
(36:09):
And then eventually.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Time, Yeah, did you start doing some I mean, what
helped that stick then? Because did you have some daily
practices or habits that you develop for yourself? Because really,
you can't coach people unless you've already done it yourself
for yourself.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I mean I learned that a long time ago too.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
I absolutely have daily habits and things and routines that
I continue to this day. My wife and I continue
to this day. We have weekly meetings about budget. I've
done a budget every month since we started that process.
But again, and I want to be careful when I
say this, because people hear, oh, you've done a budget,
that's what did it. That's not what did it. That's
(36:54):
just the daily habit that lets us have a tool
to communicate and be on the same page and agree
about our decisions. And that's the important part. So don't
don't miss the forest for the trees. Because I have
so many people come up, what's the perfect app? It's like, well,
you are you know your app? You know there is
(37:15):
no tool out there that's going to fix your life.
You've got to fix your life, right, So it's that
kind of realization. But yeah, that's that's the biggest routines
and things that I've done, uh and and been able
to keep in place, you know, to be able to
keep the focus on the communication, the behavior, the mindset,
those things.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
So let's explore that.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
I mean, okay, so there's you talked about time, talent,
and treasures. How do those three intercept what's your if
you step back, how do those three intercept.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
So at the end of the day, it all really
comes down to talent. So time and treasures are the symptom.
So here's what I mean. If you're if you have
a problem your earlier you said finance and health are related,
I would put time in that category. Two. I think
those three things are related. Well, why are they related?
Because your mindset and your behaviors and your beliefs are
(38:11):
reflected in your time, your money, and your health because
they create the habits, the routines, the structure, the you know,
all of that stuff. That's where it shows up. So
if you think of time and money and health, those
(38:32):
are symptoms. But the core problem, you know, comes back
to between your ears and in your heart. You believe
in what you how you that reflects in your behavior.
And that's why again I talk about time, talent, and
treasures because usually where we're seeing it, where we're feeling
(38:52):
the alignment problem is in our time or our money.
You know, for time, it comes down to usually some
version of I'm too busy to do what's important. So
people will say things like I'm too busy to make
it to my daughter's soccer game. That's a reflection of
a misalignment of priorities. You know, it's actually not that
(39:12):
you're too busy, it's that you've put a priority on
some of your soccer game you've chosen with money, I'm
too broke. Yeah, I'm too I make too much money
to feel this broke. You know, that's an example of
something someone would say. Again, what that is really reflecting
is a misalignment between how you're using your money and
(39:34):
how you really think, you know, you should be using
your money. You your deep seated beliefs are causing a misalignment.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Yeah, I mean so I can see there where if
someone's discerns, well, let's say that someone is saying, how
can I tell if I'm investing my talents in the
right places? It sounds like it's going to get back
to individual choices that you make every day.
Speaker 5 (40:00):
Absolutely always, the tiny choices that we make aren't tiny.
You know, we think they are, but they're not. It's again,
and I've had the same experience as you. I'm working
with somebody on time or I'm working with somebody on money,
and they come back later and they're like, I'm losing weight.
(40:21):
Why am I losing weight? And it's like, well, it's
real easy. You start getting disciplined in one area of
your life, it naturally makes you more disciplined than other areas, right,
because discipline is a belief in a mindset and so
it just spills over. And so it's not that we
sat down and said stop eating so much. You just
naturally started eating better and taking better care of yourself.
(40:44):
You know, it's I didn't have to tell you to
do it. Same thing. It always happens that way. And
by the way, I think it happens reverse too. I
know health coaches that are like they started getting healthier
and all of a sudden their money started getting straight.
You know, how did that happen? You know? Same thing?
You know, it's because the core is that discipline and
that habit and the behaviors and the beliefs and the
(41:07):
and so often we don't even know what our limiting
beliefs are. They're invisible to us. Oh no, eternal dialogue
is invisible. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
So you you've gotten into personality types, right. Maybe what
we'll do is we'll do a thing about that in
one of these days. But do you think that understanding
personality types and like taking some of them there's all.
I actually did a few of them not too long ago. Uh,
And I think it's aren't you involved in the enneagram?
Speaker 5 (41:39):
I know I'm familiar with anyagram. I do not use anyagram.
I use DISC. The only reason I use DISC is
not because it's better or worse. And you know, there's
Meyers Briggs, there's strength Finder. There's a million of them
out there. Here's my problem with all of them except Disc.
I'm not smart enough to carry it around in my head.
Disc is simple enough that I can carry it around
(42:00):
in my head and I can use it in real
time with people. All the other thing.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
That I've got, okay, well, but do you think that
that sort of thing can help you get some clarity?
Speaker 5 (42:12):
Absolutely, because all of those things, by the way, none
of them are good or bad. They're both. They're all
just tools, right, They're insights that we can get. You know,
God has made us in a certain way. This is
my belief. God has made us in a certain way.
I don't think any of these instruments gives us a
complete picture, you know, of our whole design. I think
(42:32):
all of them are glimpses through a little pinhole, you know,
to let us see a glimpse of some of that
wiring that we've been built with. And and so all
of them are useful in the fact that they begin
to give you insight right back to the same thing
into beliefs and behaviors that you naturally have a tendency towards,
(42:55):
and as you become aware of it, it lets you
begin to you use them where there's strengths and mitigate
them where they're weaknesses, because guess what, every one of
them is a strength, and everything is also a weakness.
By definition, if you have a strength, it has to
create a weakness. It just does. It's nobody's so perfectly
(43:18):
well rounded. Is to be strong in all components. You
know that that would make us God.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
You know, there's only one that I know of, and if.
Speaker 5 (43:29):
You know, I don't know about you. But one of
the best days of my life was when I realized
there was a God, and the second best days when
I realized it wasn't me. That's as I tell people,
that's about my pay grade. I don't get to make
that decision. But as we get insights into ourselves, it
lets us communicate better, lets us understand each other better.
It let's us understand ourselfs better. And all of those
(43:51):
things together begin to help us understand our beliefs and
our behaviors, so now we can get more in alignment.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Scott, I have loved this conversation this and like I said,
you're going to be on again. I can tell because
I have a whole bunch of other things I want
to talk about, but not today.
Speaker 5 (44:12):
I don't have me to come on anytime.
Speaker 4 (44:14):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
So for listeners who feel like it's too late, or
you know that they.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
I can't change direction.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
What would you say to encourage people to take a
look at this?
Speaker 5 (44:26):
If you are sucking wind, it's not too late. So
as long as you are breathing, it is not too late.
So my mother just turned eighty five. Okay, guess what.
My mom is still learning new things because you know,
that's what she believes, and that's who she is, and
that's how she lives her life. So there is no
(44:48):
too old. My great grandmother died at ninety ninety four,
ninety five years old. You know, my great grandfather died.
I've had all these long lived people, and I have
all these great examples of looking at people that live
their life well. And then I also have some examples
in my family of folks that didn't right. The point
isn't well they were too old or they were too young.
(45:11):
The point is their attitude and their philosophy and their
you know that that's what kept them.
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Well, I think you can or you think you can't.
Speaker 5 (45:18):
You're right, yeah, exactly the Henry Forward quote.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
Yep, yeah, so uh okay, so you're not too old?
Speaker 5 (45:28):
Never what's what's should? What's What's?
Speaker 3 (45:30):
One powerful question they can ask themselves today, what.
Speaker 5 (45:35):
Do you want out of life? Another version of that.
It's the same question, but phrase a different way. So
for people that that question hit wrong, what do you
want to be when you grow up? And by the way,
I don't care if you're eighty five, you can still
ask yourself that question.
Speaker 4 (45:52):
Good questions, Scott.
Speaker 5 (45:56):
Well, I hope so I tried to come on with
good questions. That's the name of question.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
All right, We've got to wrap it up, Scott. So
just to remind everybody, on my website, I have a
place where I put all the information about my guests.
So in a couple of days that information about Scott
will be there, so you can go and if you
want to follow up with him after this, then all
the information about where to find him will be there.
(46:25):
So with that, thank you so much, my friend for
joining me today.
Speaker 5 (46:30):
Absolutely, I'm honored to be here, and I hope you
that are listening. You just got some value out of
that and take action on it.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Thank you so much, and thank you so much for
joining the Ask Good Questions podcast.
Speaker 5 (46:44):
Bye bye bye bye.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Today's episode is over, but we need Ask Good Questions again,
didn't We don't miss out as we broadcast live every Wednesday,
six pm Eastern Time on a W four CY Radio
at w fourcy dot com. Joined Nina Bellmerson next week
for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement, behavioral finance issues,
(47:12):
health and wellness and more. Until then, remember to ask
good questions.
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