Laughing Through It: Mental Health, Stigma & the Healing Power of Comedy (LIVE Series Finale)

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:12):
Welcome to a podcast like no others.
Get ready for insightfulconversations, diverse
perspectives, and a touch ofinspiration.
This is Ask Naomi.
Which is a gap podcast.
Join your host, the dynamicNaomi Day, as she delves into
the heart of various topics withrefreshing point of curiosity
and wisdom.
Naomi is joined by specialguests.

(00:43):
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Stop provoking discussions andmoments of water and joy.
Bridging the gap podcast offersa space for great topics to be
amazing guests.
So watch your calendars, setyour reminders, and prepare to
be entertained and like.

(01:04):
Join Maomi Banks at Dogtown MikeWeekly for an unforgettable
podcast experience.
Get ready to bridge the gap,expand your horizon, and verse
yourself in the world of Athma.
Subscribe now and stay tuned fora podcast journey like no other.

SPEAKER_04 (01:23):
Hey, my beautiful people.
Hey, hey, hey, welcome to XNaomi Bridge Meet Together
Podcast.
Well, you know, we have been ona journey together this month.
We've been on a journey togetherthis month.
And I want to take just a momentbefore we get into it just to
honor what we have done.
You know, we started off withthe letter, right?
It was written by a woman that Ihave never met.

(01:45):
On a Sunday morning over a cupof homemade tea, she said, she
trusted me with her truth.
And that truth became theheartbeat of everything we did
here this May.
You know, but week one, whathappens when love is built on a
lie, right?
In week two, it was the flags wechose not to see.

(02:06):
In week three, it was reclaimingyour body, your desire, and your
heart after going through it.
And tonight, tonight we areclosing out our mental health
awareness month, the way healingactually feels when you have
made it to the other side withlaughter.
Real hard, hard-earned, honestlaughter.

(02:30):
Now I have to tell you somethingbefore we get into tonight's
show.
Um so earlier this month, I hadactually sat down with our
guests for a pre-recordedinterview.
And at that interview, um theinterview was long, but it was
powerful.
It wasn't a doctor my it waspowerful, it was powerful.
It was one of one of the mosthonest conversations that I've

(02:53):
had on this platform since then.
So here is what we're going todo tonight.
We're going to share some keymoments from that conversation,
and we're going to react to themlive together as a full panel.
But here's another butt.

(03:13):
But our guest is no longer ontour.
No, I got a phone call the otherday, and he told me that he
wanted to be here live tonight.
Tonight.
Yes.
So tonight we are going to,we're going to be getting both.
We're going to be getting theinterview in moments, and then
we're going to be getting theman himself live in real in real

(03:34):
time and with our full panel.
And immediately followingtonight's show, you will get the
complete unedited interview.
I will stream it in full live umYouTube and all of the streaming
networks um right after we signoff here.
All right.
So again, I am your host.
He got us now me Banks here.
I'm here with Dogpound MikeMike.
What's going on?
You got it.

(03:55):
I got Dr.
Real Washington here.
Just put could you put them up?
Dr.
Real Washington here joining uslive is Mr.
Sam Ridley the third.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
What is going on?

SPEAKER_08 (04:13):
We in the building finally, all three of us.

SPEAKER_04 (04:15):
Right.
And we got a full house heretonight.
I love this.

SPEAKER_02 (04:21):
We're gonna be good.

SPEAKER_08 (04:22):
Yeah, baby.
Yeah, baby.

SPEAKER_04 (04:24):
Dr.

SPEAKER_08 (04:24):
Will in the flesh.

SPEAKER_04 (04:26):
Yep, that is the famous Dr.
Will right there.
See, I'll be talking about you.
It'll be some good stuff.
Some good stuff.
I want to shout out to my BTGcrew.
I see you all out there.
I see everybody out there.
Hey, hey, to all of you all.
Do me a favor right now.
Um, I don't know if you all areon your phones or whatever, but

(04:46):
just for it being this is ourfinal um episode for this
series, uh, mental healthawareness.
And you know it's supposed to begreen.
You know, I didn't get thet-shirts this year, kind of
happened.
So I'm wearing a little littlegreen.
So if y'all can put some littlegreen hearts in the chats, that
would be lovely.
That would be so lovely to letus know that you are listening
because I see you here, here,and over there as well.

(05:09):
Yes, yes.
And also I want to remind youguys that we are sponsored by
social catfish.
So nothing ends a healing erafaster than finding out that the
person that you just opened yourheart up to has been running
three different profiles underthree different names.
Not today, not on my watch, andnot on your watch either.
So catfish has been our sponsorall month for a reason because

(05:34):
protecting protection andhealing go hand in hand.
So you can search anyone byname, photo, phone, email, user,
dang, and you can see their realdigital footprint before you
even give them your real heart.
200 billion records all in oneplace, and R you, yes.

(05:54):
Our final week, you the linkwill be in the show notes.
Mike will put them out there.
Um, then all right.
All right, so let's get back.
Um I'm let me, I know we alreadygot you up here.
So I want to introduce Samproperly.

(06:14):
All right.
So before we get into a clip,because we got a clip, we got a
clip, I want to tell theaudience on how we got here.
Just a little bit, not all ofit, because this is not just a
booking that we have right here,this is a story.
You know, years ago, some mutualfriends of ours had brought me
out to a comedy show off thestrip in Las Vegas, and it was

(06:35):
during the AVN weekend, and um,this is where I first met Sam.
Um, and I will let him tell youwhat happened in the room in a
moment.
Don't tell him too much though.
But then as a few years, a fewyears later, he came on my
chocolate radio show, right?
And he was amazing.
And then life happened.

(06:55):
Life happened, and we losttouch, and you know, you know
the way people do.
And then recently, out ofnowhere, Sam reached out to me.
Not about a comedy show, notabout a promo, but he reached
out to me on my podcast aboutbeing a guest on the season of
self love.
You know, that is where I at mymost spiritual grounded healing
created platform there.

(07:17):
And my first reaction, like, ishe playing?
He need to stop playing on my onmy pro.
That's what I was like, hebetter stop playing.
And then I know, right?
And then we got on the phone,and then I realized he was not
playing at all.
Because what people most peopledon't know about Sam really is
that before the stages, beforethe sold out shows, before all

(07:38):
the illegal, well, the illegalopinions podcast, he was in the
military.
Well, he was a 20-year UnitedStates Air Force veteran.
He's a mental health advocate,and he has been deliberately
using his gift to bring blackmen's mental health into spaces
that have never welcomed thatconversation.
So again, Sam, welcome to Love,Lust, and Reclaim.

(08:01):
I am so glad that you are heretonight.

SPEAKER_08 (08:03):
And honor as always, always.

SPEAKER_04 (08:06):
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
You know, um, Sam.
We just gonna get into it whenwe get into the and into the so
here we go.
We I'm gonna let you, we'regonna go ahead and let you,
we're gonna watch it alltogether, and then we're gonna
let you respond to the firstclip.
All right, Doc I might let itgo.

(08:27):
Clip one.
It's been a minute.

SPEAKER_08 (08:32):
The Naomi Banks, y'all.
It's the Naomi Banks with SamRidley out here.

SPEAKER_04 (08:38):
Oh man, it's a minute.
No, they don't know.
Well, you know, first of all,let's let's take them back
because when we first met, wemet many, many years ago back at
AVN weekend.
You had a show.

SPEAKER_08 (08:51):
I didn't know it was AVN.

SPEAKER_04 (08:54):
Right.
It was AVN show.
You had a show off strip, and amutual friend of ours, a mutual
friend of ours, had took me tohis show, and um, you had did
your show, everything.
And I don't know, do youremember that night?
Do you remember anything of thatnight?
Can you tell your personal?

SPEAKER_08 (09:10):
She just asked me if I remember meeting Naomi Banks.
That's what she just asked me,y'all.
That's what that's the questionthat was just posed to Sam
Ridley.
Hold up, y'all.
Okay, so I've been doing comedyfor 15 years, um, 20 years
retired military.
And uh, this was like I wouldsay early in my comedy career,

(09:32):
like six years in or so, that Icame out there for AVNs.
Just a guy's trip with myhomeboys, and I had a ship, had
no idea AVN was going on.
Let me explain to y'all thepsychology of what happens when
you meet somebody you grew upwatching.
So we go to get fly for thenight, get ready to go to the
club and stuff.

(09:52):
And shout out Dana, that's ourfriend that introduced us.
She uh was like, you know, wejust gonna come up there to the
room.
I didn't know you was gonna besitting in my hotel room.
Okay.
So what do you what does yourbrain do when somebody that you
only seen on screens pop up inyour hotel room?
You know what it does, fellas?
You become a perfect gentleman.

(10:15):
All them little nasty thoughtsyou thought you'd have had in
your head, boy, if I ever gotalone, man.
I was like, would you are youcomfortable?
Would you like a towel?
Like I became Samuel real fastwhen she popped up in my room.
It's not the brain thing thatyou think is gonna happen,
y'all.
It's not like me and her havebeen friends so long, and I had
to explain this to a home boardmind, and I'm gonna let you go.

(10:38):
Um, she was like, What's itlike?
You know what I'm saying?
Because that's got to be like alittle weird.
You know, you grew up watchingher.
I was like, nah, after you hearone of your favorites talk about
menopause, you just friends.
Um, yeah, that's just notsomething you expect to hear
from from you know a differentera.
But what it does is puteverybody's life into a

(10:58):
perspective.
Like, you know, that's achapter, it's not the whole of
anybody, and it makes youhumanize the job that you used
to grow up watching.
So I appreciate it.
I appreciate it.
It gave me a lot of insight, itreally did.

SPEAKER_04 (11:12):
Yeah, yeah.
And you know, we had so much funthat night.
We had so much fun.
I thought you were amazing.
You did your show, it wasamazing.
Everything that night wasincredible, and so then let's
fast forward.
Then some years went on, andthen I had my own radio show, my
own radio station, ChocolateRadio.
And so I was like, damn, look,dude, you need to come up here
and you need to bless me righthere on the station.

(11:34):
And then you came in and youblessed us there.
So then we're in your com um inyour comedy life.
What season were you in in thatmoment?

SPEAKER_08 (11:45):
When we did your show back then, and I remember
that.
Like when I see it pop up, thatwas one of my first Spotify
things because I have a podcastnow, but at the time I hadn't
really been doing a lot of radiooutside of what I was doing
before, you know.
Um, it um, I mean, I was excitedto work with you again, you
know.
Like we had talked, and it wasfor you to come to my comedy

(12:06):
show and become a fan, you knowwhat I mean, is it that's
everything.
That's it, that's what we dothis for, especially now, and
we'll get to that.
But um after we did that radioshow, it was like, man, you
know, I really hope we get towork together again.
And I'm glad that anotheropportunity came up.
At the time, the season I was inwas trying to figure out exactly

(12:27):
what I needed comedy to mean forme.

SPEAKER_05 (12:30):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (12:30):
And I feel like I just figured that out in the
last year.
The last year.

SPEAKER_04 (12:39):
Yeah, yeah.
You know, the the the crazything about is that, you know,
it's been a minute since we wetalked, and I know we lost, you
know, we lost, you know, contactwith one another.
I think the last time we talked,we were in California, you know,
we lived in um Santa Clarita andValencia area, and you was in
Lancaster area, and now I'm inVegas.
Um, and I remember when you hitme up, you know, you hit me up

(13:01):
on the season of self-love.
And you know, the last thing Iknow about you is comedy, you
know, laughing, joking, andstuff like that.
And so I'm like, right, Sam,let's stop me.
You need to stop playing overhere on my thing.
And the reason why is becausepeople look at me one certain
way and they can't look at me inanother way.
And even though we are friendsand you have seen me in, you

(13:23):
know, in another version, stillpeople, you know, person, still
me speaking about spirituality,me speaking of self-love in such
a serious tone or healing andmatter, you know, people don't
see, and and I I want to behonest when I say this, I
didn't, I I only saw you one oneway as well, only comment.

(13:44):
See, that's I didn't say adifferent way either.
And so instead of me justsitting in and being like, hold
on, go see what this brother istalking about because you you
you you've been you're doing thesame thing that people do to
you, you doing to him.
You're not really needing uh ahelping hand or something, go

(14:06):
out and see what he's talkingabout, you know, you know what
I'm saying?
And so when you did do that, youknow, uh, I was like, okay, let
me see what he's talking about.
But then I I asked, I said, hey,I said, you know, you tap me
over here on here.
I said, you know, is it are youcoming over here to promote, or
is it something that you'regoing on?
You said, Well, I'm always, youknow, down to promote, but no,

(14:27):
I've been through something andI I want to share.
And, you know, I and I'm tryingto do some things, you know,
whatever, you know, and I wantto make sure that the listeners
know just through ourconversation that we had on the
phone, and even what you sharewith me, I think that is so
courageous of you, not only as ablack man, but as someone that

(14:51):
I've known who has stood on thefront lines for our country, to
be able to say, you know, I needhelp.
But not only that, but it's okayto say I need help.
It's okay to be vulnerable, it'sokay to go through the books to
be able to do that.
But not only that, but using youthe tools that you learned in

(15:14):
laughter to heal through that.
That's what I love about it all.
But it also made me checkmyself.
You you understand what I'msaying?
And you ain't even said a word.
You just typed a few things andallow me to look at myself in
the mirror, just looking at youas a reflection.
Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_08 (15:32):
That's beautiful.
Nobody's ever flipped it on melike that.
You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 (15:37):
All right, so Sam, you heard yourself say that
sitting here live tonight.
What does it feel like just tohear that back?

SPEAKER_08 (15:44):
If you don't know, that's a core memory of a
conversation we had, girl.
Um, I've been referencing thatspecific part of the
conversation with friends ofmine uh in the comedy community
since.
Um, because like I was tellingyou, I was on the road with uh
with my homeboy Corey's big fan,and he was like, you know, tell
I said hi and things, you know.
I was like, I told him aboutthat intricacy of how we

(16:07):
prejudge each other and that youdid it to me.
And the first thing he said washow before I could tell the
story, you know?
Everybody got a past andsomething that they was doing.
And even if other people aren'tproud of us, we're proud of the
things we did, you know?
So, but that prejudgement insideof people, you can just feel it.

(16:28):
You can just feel it.
Rightfully so, you were like,What is this comedian contacting
me about mental health for?
Right.
Because we we we're publicly notallowed to do that.
If you understand my what I'mI'm getting at there.
When I pop out the box, it's gotto be jokes, jokes, jokes,
jokes, jokes.

(16:48):
Make sure you comment on theKevin Hart roast, you know?
Like that's that's all we'reallowed to do, you know, and you
can't put people in a box likethat.
I think that that's one of thethings that causes a lot of
those mental health issues wetalk about.
We are so quick to stick one ofour own in uh the setting they
chose to show us.

SPEAKER_04 (17:10):
Right, right, right.
So let me um let me say this.
Um hold on for a second, Mike.
Let me say this.
First of all, I want to thankyou too, and I want to thank you
for just coming back and justbeing able to share this space
with us again.
Absolutely, thank you for havingme.
In this in this time, and I knowthat um um when we talked about

(17:35):
doing this show, and um I waslike, how are we gonna fit this
in?
You know, because the the thefirst three weeks, it was so
serious, you know, and how canwe make this work?
And and even today, you beinghere, it just it's changed the
um the dynamic of the of whatthe show was originally going to
be like.

(17:56):
And so it's you know what I'msaying?
So now we can see what your realreaction is after even watching
yourself back.
Because when I was editing itto, you know, be able to play
here in editing for theWesternight, I was like, wow, I
was like, this is truly a greatinterview, but not only that,
but just what you've beenthrough.
And I mean, we're not gonna haveit all right here on the live

(18:18):
show, but right after the show,they'll be able to, you know,
hear the whole, you know,complete interview.
But just again, I want to justcommend you because sometimes
it's hard.
It's hard for people just to bevulnerable in such a broad
place, but not only that, butyou take this on the road with
you every day, and you stand infront of a uh a live audience

(18:40):
with that, not knowing whattheir response is going to be as
you share your story, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

unknown (18:51):
Dr.

SPEAKER_08 (18:51):
Will looked like he was about to say something.

SPEAKER_02 (18:55):
I'm actually enjoying the conversation.
I'm like, hmm.
Yeah, my brain was talking.
I think my brain was talking.
Yeah, I I I just reallyappreciate the fact that you can
talk about image,representation, and authenticity
at the same time.
And a lot of times as artists,we don't get to actually we
always have to choose one or theother, but also people envy us

(19:18):
because we get to play along allthree.
And it's like, well, how much ofthis is you?
And then also you have to askyourself, when was it not me?
So it's one of those momentswhere I just appreciate the
authenticity, fluidity thatyou're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 (19:31):
Yeah, yeah.
So let me ask the audience this.
Um has someone ever completelysurprised you when you finally
saw them, um, finally saw thempast the box that you put them
in.
You know that box that everybodyputs somebody in when they when
they first have met them andthey introduced, but then they

(19:52):
can't see past that box.
You know what I mean?
So tell me when you know, dropme in the chat and let me know
what what was that like for youto find to see somebody pass the
um the uh what's the name?
Okay, tongue time.
Yeah, I'm watching it.
Hey, hey, everybody, I'mwatching it now.

SPEAKER_08 (20:11):
You know what's strange is like um, you know,
even we all went through thepandemic, and the the best thing
that came out of that terriblesituation was I saw so much
creativity pop out of people.
You had no choice but to figuresomething different out, you
know.
If I mean, you know, take me forexample, I ended up winning a
comedy competition over Zoom inthe middle of it.

(20:33):
I was losing my mind because wecouldn't people, you know,
right?
And if you didn't do that, thenyou know, you ended up in a
depressed state, rightfully so,things of that nature.
But we saw so many people haveto come out of their boxes, have
to come out of their boxes.
And and and we see people pop upwith these little businesses and

(20:54):
things, you know, but we don'tunderstand what we're looking at
when we see it that way.
We're not we don't recognize itas oh, they're they're
multifaceted.

SPEAKER_04 (21:02):
Right, yeah, yeah.
Um Dr.
Will, for you, um on a um, Iguess on a more psychological,
technical, you know, point ofview, when especially for
someone like myself and and umSam, I just got brain fog, Sam

(21:23):
again, and trying to move pastthat box.
Um how can others get there?
Does that make sense?
I don't even know if I'm I'masked asking the right question,
but how can it get to the pointto where they will leave that
box, they would step out of thatbox and just be who they are

(21:43):
comfortable with that, if thatthat makes sense?

SPEAKER_02 (21:46):
Yeah, I I the there's really two ways to do
this, right?
You have the short term and thelong term.
The short term is you end uprealizing that what benefits you
is what you become.
A lot of us become what webenefit from.
So even with something like, youknow, they make like even the
Kevin Hart roast, like like Katwas talking about how like he's

(22:08):
taking every job, taking everyacting, he's taking everything
he's doing.
And he's like some stuff yougotta say no to.
Well when you're in thatindustry, when you're in the
industry of of of production andentertainment, when you get your
yes, you got you have in thebeginning, you have to be hungry
for all the yeses.
Right?
Because you're told no everysingle time until you get your

(22:29):
one yes.

SPEAKER_06 (22:30):
Ridiculous amount.

SPEAKER_02 (22:32):
So you have you have to accept the fact that you
become what you benefit from.
And so some of the artistssometimes get pigeonholed or
typecasted or they expect acertain type of comedy right um
and and so it's the developmentgets hard especially for like
some of my musicians and artiststhey want to hear the same album
six times in a row and then whenthe artist transforms and

(22:54):
changes they're like what's thisnew sound you got I don't like
this.
Well then it goes into the longterm role.
Eventually you learn that thehealing becomes your art right
and the art becomes your healingand and you realize that it's
not really about me being onething or the other you realize
that that's that's the focus andI work with I personally work

(23:15):
with a lot of uh comediansactually and I actually have a
whole um series about calledhashtag and I have friends and
it's about me doing therapy withcomedians only because they have
what they do is naturally callednarrative therapy.
We just don't say it right soit's it's beautiful to see them
actually do the actual work andthey don't even realize like how

(23:38):
intrinsically detailed theyalready are with that.
So I think it's just like it'samazing how the healing is the
art.

SPEAKER_08 (23:44):
You might know too much.

SPEAKER_04 (23:45):
He know too much Naomi he knew a little bit too
much this recording we knowwhat's about to happen this
recording this was my last videomy last video but you know what
I'm glad that you said thatbecause I want to I want to go
into this next clip because thisnext clip get a little more
deeper to where you know hestarts to speak about something
let me shut up and let me goahead and let the the the tape

(24:08):
bro the clip bro go ahead mic wewe split uh hadn't talked for a
while um I got out of themilitary and I started working a
civilian job on base over hereand I'm gonna try and put this
away people can understand it.

SPEAKER_08 (24:25):
You don't know when you start going through
something and I say that as aperson here on a mental health
show that didn't believe inmental health at the time okay
um I was bred in the military Iwas raised a black man with the
you know ain't nobody gonna giveyou nothing you better get up
and figure it out ain't nobodygot time for you crying ain't

(24:46):
nobody got time for that likeget up it push and I think a lot
of black men are a lot of menare are put into that where it's
just like don't nobody care howyou feel you got to get it done
you know um I'm I'm heading towork one day and um it's like
five in the morning that waswhen I had to get up and I

(25:08):
remember getting up in a panicbecause I was already late and I
jumped in my car and I wasdriving my 30 minutes to work I
was low on fuel you know low ongas I ain't got time to stop and
I got halfway to work and then Iblinked and I hadn't moved
anywhere.
I was still in my house all ofthat happened in my head and I
but I saw it all I was still inmy car with my hands on the

(25:32):
steering wheel and I wassweating like crazy.
I had a dissociative panicattack and didn't know it.
And so I went to work becausenow I'm panicked and I'm
military and like I just said wejust keep pushing you know we
just go.
So I go in I do my job and Ijust felt weird.
That's the only way I coulddescribe it.

(25:52):
So I go to my boss who was onthe phone and didn't give a damn
and I was like I need to go to adoctor I don't know what's wrong
with me but I need to go and hejust kind of waved it off like
all right you know do what yougotta do put your paperwork in.
And I went in and he told methat I wasn't well and um he
told me to get therapy and likegot me in a program and things.
I never went back to that job.

(26:14):
I spent through about a year anda half fighting them on my
mental health telling them thatit stemmed from work and that's
what my doctor said and that'swhat my therapist said.
Right.
And they basically told me thateither I was lying or it didn't
have nothing to do with them.
So I ended up getting put outwith no benefits, no retirement

(26:35):
because they basically didn'thave a system in place to help
people with mental healthissues.
The military's built that way umand I fought it for as long as I
could but it took a toll on me.
They started me on medicationthat made me sweat all the time
and I was still doing comedy youknow right I had an opportunity
to do a big show down in LA withSeinfeld and Ryan Davis.

(26:58):
I think Matt Reif was on thatshow.
So these are people that youknow like you don't want to look
crazy.
But I'm down there and this isbefore I got a towel like my
towel got my name on it now.
I just had a regular towel fromthe house because I would sweat
from the medication.
I went down there and I had agreat show.
But when I finished everybodywas like it wasn't who was that
black dude with the Kangole onhis head who was that everybody

(27:21):
remembered the towel and since Ineeded one anyway I put my logo
on it and whenever I'm on stageand somebody asks I let them
know oh it's about mental healthawareness.
I want y'all to know to takecare of your brain I didn't for
too long and it cost me a lotbut I learned a lot about myself
that you had um sent me um a fewdays ago and this one particular

(27:42):
um video that you had sent me umthat you actually met your
therapist um you met for thefirst time while you were on on
the stage you know how much canyou bring that up yeah thank you

(28:03):
I wanted to do Visaliaspecifically y'all are seeing
something that um I was this isthe first I've been nervous at
in a very fucking long time verylong time because my therapist
is here and I've never met herin person before tonight okay so
I want to say on stage thiswoman save my life and I love
you.

SPEAKER_04 (28:23):
I love you so much oh man you know first of all
thank you thank you thank youfor sharing that but when I saw
that I ain't even gonna lie Iwas I cry I I cried so much when
I saw that because I was likeGod damn like girl I'm doing I'm

(28:50):
butterflying right now I feel itall over again um so in the past
uh comedy for me has been veryyou know you get in where you
can get in um I'm being veryintentional with my time this
year but yeah you know because Igot mental health stuff in there
now like I make sure that likethey hear about the things that
I've gone through mentally um Igot in a bad car accident in

(29:12):
November and uh that is whatmade me go, oh okay I need to
tell my real story and not justsling jokes.

SPEAKER_08 (29:20):
It changed my whole set my whole set.

SPEAKER_04 (29:23):
So let's let's go a little bit back onto the mental
health and I know we we talkedabout it a little bit and I
don't want you to fill in all ofthe blanks but I want to ask
when you look back at the seasonwhen everything actually felt
really hard um for you and Iguess you kind of answered what
was really happening to you um Iguess I I want you to kind of

(29:48):
walk me through when you choseto share your mental um
breakdown on stage?

SPEAKER_08 (29:58):
When was your point of time and say okay it's time
for me to share this on stagethrough my comedy when when what
took for you to do in the lastcouple of years and it hurt I'm
gonna be I'm gonna tell y'allright now it hurt do you know
how easy it is to hide behindyour character you felt that

(30:22):
didn't you I saw your neck movemake black woman neck move you
done hit something y'all yeah itit I'm telling you it it was so
hard it's so easy to get upthere and hide behind comedians
say it really how y'all doingyou know but to to come from
under that and go listen y'allthis is what happened to me and
hope that it's received it wouldhave been very easy for me to

(30:44):
get out of the military andchoose not to redefine myself um
I didn't know who I was when Igot out of the military I went
in at 18 you know and then youbecome that I started doing
comedy while I was in and thatwas probably therapy for me and
didn't realize it just an outletnot therapy but an outlet you

(31:04):
know so what does black menmental health mean to you and I
know one because you're a blackman of course but why do you
think that it still um does notget the space that it deserves I
took a breath because you justtook me to a place um so about I

(31:29):
want to say three years now Ihad a military brother named
Isaac and uh me and him he wasthe first person I told when I
was gonna have my son he's 18now we've been friends that long
um he was having a lot of a lotof problems getting out of the
militar uh the military how itaffected his brain.
I'm tripping over my words rightnow.

(31:50):
That's all right Isaac um he heuh he he he committed suicide
and um I was one of the lastpeople he talked to a lot of us
were talking to him and um thatalso was one of the hardest
nights of my life at home for awhole different reason.
So it was like a perfect stormof it.

(32:11):
That night is a show I'll neverforget and it was transformative
in me because I understood thegravity of how far away from
mental health black men havehave run um from upbringing from
generational trauma I knowcoming up if there was somebody
special in my house you couldtell me if this was the case in

(32:32):
your black family they got putin the back room they ain't
gonna see nobody right thespecial needs person got put in
the back room family would comeover they take them a plate that
was pretty much the end of ityou know um hell therapy's
almost unhurt if I tell my mamawhen I told my mama I'm in
therapy she was like so you justtalking to somebody there's a
it's it's it's a stigma in theblack community about it and

(32:55):
nothing drove that point homefor me more than my brother
passing in that I felt theobligation to say something
every time I could yeah um wowthat just takes you back it just
it's take takes you back um youknow after after 20 years in the

(33:17):
military and after 15 years ofcomedy you said in an interview
that sitting here live tonightwhat do you want people to
understand about those years andhow they actually felt well one
shout out to everybody in thechat I see y'all I'm chiming in
here and there um that was hardfor me to hear myself say again

(33:39):
I I want y'all to understandthat like um that's not a story
I tell often anymore between thetime we recorded that and now uh
a lot transpired in my career onthe road that I wanted to fix
and I was like I'll be rightback here you know um thank you

(34:02):
for giving me a space as acomedian to be able to talk
seriously about something yeah Iwant to say that that's what
that's what that gave me when Ijust heard it back there's this
cartoon called Black Dynamiteand they did this episode where
Richard Pryor was like trying totell people like some real stuff
that was going on but everybodywas like you so crazy and that's
what they were were getting atum to the point of the clip you

(34:24):
just showed where I saw mytherapist God that was an
amazing night um and me startingto be more vulnerable with my
audience nothing in 15 years ofdoing comedy has given me more
for for for in here for Sam thanbeing vulnerable with my
audience the way I wasn't beforeum Kevin Hart got a special

(34:47):
called Laugh at My Pain.
Y'all don't understand howperfect a comedy title that is
for every comedian because everycomedian whether you realize you
like them for this reason or notat some point they made you feel
something about them not justbecause they told you a funny
joke.
You can get that from abarbershop or from a reel on the
internet and as soon as Istarted letting people into the

(35:08):
things I was going through andshowing them how I found the
funny in it became comedy's thethis is the art form.
This is why I'm doing it I don'tcare about shows and money as
much as I care about that.
We can't take none of that withus yeah yeah you know Dr.

SPEAKER_04 (35:28):
Will so you know Sam had just described in the video
about carrying on processedtrauma for years without
language for it.
How common is this and how andwhat does it cost um for people
over time?

SPEAKER_02 (35:43):
Yeah so it's I want to break it down first that as
just a language right healing isa lifestyle first and foremost
healing is a lifestyle butbefore you make something a
lifestyle we have to understandwhere it comes from and a lot of
us don't even have a language totalk about the healing we need.

(36:04):
Yeah right even as apsychologist and a licensed
therapist I was taught andconditioned to look at people
from their illness not theirwellness so I had to recondition
even how I look at healing forpeople and when I would speak to
them I would I would call itheadspace and heart space
language.
So headspace language would belike um how many times do you

(36:27):
have anxiety attacks?
Heart space language would sayhow many moments have you shared
where you felt like you wereunable to to handle your
identity right now.
What did that look like for you?
Right?
So we were teaching the thelanguage of ownership of our

(36:47):
moments and in trauma we becomeso isolated and so and so alone
and lonely we don't know ifwe're lonely alone or isolated
and so people don't talk aboutit because there's no language
on how to ask for help.
And let's be honest most peoplesuck at asking for help.
Yeah so um so we have to alsounderstand that before we can

(37:09):
get to the space of help andhealing we have to realize how
helpless we are first when itcomes to not understanding.
And so as I always say withself-awareness comes emotional
responsibility and a lot of usum don't become self-aware until
that thing shocks us or thatmoment finally clicks and then

(37:29):
what we do first we cuteverybody off right you become
aware you're like I'm cuttingyou off I'm cutting this off I'm
cutting this off and it's likewait before you cut everybody
off it it might be better if youput your energy towards growing
yourself so people just falloff.
Right?
You put so much energy intocutting people off that you're
not putting any energy into whatyou're growing into and so
that's illness language andwellness language.

(37:51):
So um even just language um cancompletely change your
perception of your world and howyou receive it and give from it.

SPEAKER_04 (38:00):
Beautiful said yeah I've been doing both cutting and
letting them fall off as wellour hands get tired when we cut
people off too much.

SPEAKER_08 (38:15):
Something I learned um to to to your point uh in I
in the the clip that you showedI said I I was not a mental
health advocate before when Iwas in the military there's
literally no room for it youknow what I'm like oh yeah they
don't care ain't no time for howyou feel it's just just the
nature of the beast as they sayum in hindsight should have made

(38:36):
time for it probably would havebeen better but um I wasn't a
mental health advocate and asI've moved into it what you just
said about we don't have alanguage to even discuss it
amongst each other men are sobad at expressing emotions to
each other you know and as Imoved into my mental health
journey as I got into therapy asI understood me more it was

(38:59):
harder for me to communicatewith any men I knew that weren't
doing the same and then itbecame a battle of let me make
sure that I don't close the doorand let them know I understand
you can't hear me right now incertain aspects but I'm here to
listen.

SPEAKER_02 (39:19):
Yeah I love that you said that because even even for
me like I'll go on to my gaminglike I'll go on my PS5 and I'll
go into the group chat with thefellas and I don't even talk.
After a long day I don't talk Ijust go I just I go in the group
chat I just sit and I play videogames and I'm playing with them
sometimes and and when they seewhen they hear me in there they

(39:41):
start asking questions aboutmental health.
And so then I start talkingabout it and I'm like oh well
you're just dealing with this oryou're just you know they're
just having conversations butwhat it is is that they need to
they men usually need permissionto feel and and and and it's sad
that that has to be the truthbut like a lot of times in the

(40:02):
beginning men have to havepermission when I have couples
that come in usually the womanbrings brings the guy in and
she's like well we need to workon this but then once the dude
feels like oh like oh like Iactually have I have space I
have space to to actually showup in this he starts taking over
and I gotta slow him down and belike okay like let's pause real

(40:25):
quick maybe you should get yourown therapist while we're doing
the couples work because thenhe's like well I gotta talk
about this right when I was 12this is why and it's like whoa
whoa whoa slow down so I I thinkit's really just giving men the
space and I think Sam whatyou're doing is beautiful
because you are therepresentation of what is needed
to be a mental health advocate.
There are mental health alliesbut then there's advocates and I

(40:46):
love that you are signalingyourself for the awareness
that's not common and that's notsomething that people get to do.
So I really appreciate the thecolor in which you do that
because we talk about mentalhealth advocacy we don't talk
about the representation that'sneeded for it to be an actual
advocate.

SPEAKER_08 (41:05):
So I appreciate the way you show up in that thank
you and I would love to have aside conversation about the
psychology of black gamers over40 and uh how we how we yeah how
we what he just said about howsome people don't want to talk
and things of that nature youhave no idea how common it is
and then there's a differentdichotomy with black people or

(41:26):
white people and you never knowwhat somebody's going through on
the other side of thatcontroller.

SPEAKER_02 (41:30):
It is insane to try to navigate yes and and I and I
love the fact that it's it's atool right like for me some of
my clients we'll play videogames like we'll play Smash
Brothers or Mario Kart in oursession because they need to put
something into their hands sothat they can release right it
it's it's a stimulation avoidantright it allows them to balance

(41:51):
right the control and themechanism so that they can speak
more clearly and it's likethey're they're they're doing
that to open themselves up toanother possibility of emotions.

SPEAKER_08 (42:01):
But we're also playing Call of Duty right now
right so it's so it's nice tohave that that balance we need
that and it's hard to find thebalance um and I want to hear
from from Naomi on this uh oneof the things that I always tell
people as a byproduct of therapyis I feel everything now I feel

(42:21):
everything now weird rightthat's the that's the good
that's the positive side youknow what the downside is I feel
everything now it's now it's aquestion about your capacity not
your capability so a lot oftimes it's not about your
capability it's about yourcapacity now you have to know
what what what is what is minewhere do I start and where do I

(42:42):
stop with people because now youactually have an expansive
capability because you actuallyunderstand.

SPEAKER_02 (42:48):
Now you have to limit like like I know some
people just like inrelationships hey I can be my
friend from A to D, but I can'tbe friends you from A to M.
Like I know where my friendsstart and stop and I I realize
that if I don't do that then Ican just keep going.
Yeah I just keep going.
Yeah that's so real.

SPEAKER_04 (43:08):
Yeah you know it's it's funny that we even talking
about this part of theconversation I was talking to
dog pound Mike Mike earlier umtoday it's this it's this clip
that came up and it this guy wastalking about um what's that
comedian name that I said again?
The black comedian oh ohcomedian what he was saying that
once you put on the glasses ofawareness once you put on the

(43:30):
glasses of awareness and you seeand you know you like of the
knowing those conversations thatyou have with other people are
different.
Not only that but that once youhave that you cannot unsee or
unknow what you know and it'sit's hard to because when you
get it and you know it and nowyou want to share it with

(43:51):
everybody but you can't force iton anybody to know and so when
you have those conversations andyou talking that communication
is no more.
Is no more.
So to answer your question aboutthat feeling, oh yes, yes, that
feeling is it is like at times adouble-edged sword.
But I'm gonna tell you this Ilove that feeling, and I would I

(44:12):
I love being in this awareness,I love being this spiritual
person that I am.
Um I'm just trying to come withmy capacity, it's just getting
that, you know, together, all ofthat.
But yeah, being there is the themost amazing thing to do and to

(44:33):
be.
It is because not only is it apart of your healing, but also
it makes you aware to be thatvessel, you understand, to be
that ripple for others, andthat's what you're doing on that
stage.
You're using your pain forpurpose.
You're using your pain forpurpose.
Dog Palm, I got a question foryou as a black man, and you

(44:54):
hearing Sam say this livetonight.
You also you heard it when wewas talking.
What is it landing for you rightnow?

SPEAKER_01 (45:02):
Okay, well, it landed for me.
Um I tell you, I'm gonna have tochange the pace a little bit.
I'm still gonna answer thisquestion.
Uh first, um Sam, how old areyou, if you don't mind?

SPEAKER_08 (45:15):
I'm 44.

SPEAKER_01 (45:16):
Dr.
Will?

SPEAKER_08 (45:18):
36.

SPEAKER_01 (45:19):
Okay, I'm a little older.
And when and I I saw thisquestion when it came up as a as
a black man.
First, uh, Dr.
Will, the point you were talkingabout as you gaming and and men
started to talk.
I grew up in a in a age where wewas outside.
We were playing pickup games onthe court, you know, and that

(45:40):
that was the men space at thetime.
And it wasn't much conversationgoing on about mental health
because I grew up in the time,and I know you guys too, where
we didn't talk about mentalhealth, we didn't talk about
compassion.
We did we talked about justbeing.
We talked about holdingeverything inside and getting

(46:01):
through life.
Because we had to work, we hadto take care of our family, we
had to support, we had tosupport ourselves.
We was out there, and it it wasvery hard.
That's why I'm glad thisconversation is going on because
it is for a lot of youngergeneration, because people are
talking about mental health.
Back in the day, we never talkedabout mental health.
You either crave or you wasgoing through life, you know,

(46:24):
and and it was hard.
Now to get get up older in ageand feel like, yeah, there is a
lot of things I'm holding andsuppressing, we still can't let
them out.
Because we have no way to letthem out because we don't know.
We will we didn't come up withit, we wasn't we weren't born
with it, we didn't live throughit, we didn't get it from our
fathers, we didn't get it fromour grandfathers.

(46:46):
It was you take care of your youyou work to take care of your
family, and I guess that's avery, very scary thing for older
black men and younger black menneed to listen and and learn
this learn this same situationbecause it goes through
everybody.
But Sam, I I was I was I heardthe video, the clip because I

(47:09):
was there and heard it first,and everything you went through.
And it's still we have to putwell, we do men don't have to,
but we do we put this wall upinside of us saying we have to
deal, we have to deal with it.
We keep it in our head, we keepit in our hearts, and we just
try to get through theday-to-day process of it.

(47:33):
But we need to talk more, andthen going back to we need more
outlets to talk, we mean moreways to talk.
We need more advocates, we meanmore situations so men can get
out here and actually talk aboutit.
That's why you said gaming, likeI grew up playing basketball in
the street in school, and justwe need more situations where

(47:56):
after that pickup game is over,we can sit down and have this
conversation.
Yeah, it ain't just gonna openup.
And you and we all know a lot ofblack men ain't gonna go to no
therapy.
Like you said, Sam.
What your mama tell you, oh, youjust talking to people now.
You just talking, yeah, you justtalking, you know.

(48:17):
So that that that's the nextstep is trying to get places and
get spaces where men and womentoo can feel like they can sit
down and open up and not bejudged, and and and that's the
key.
Because you know something deepdown, especially for men, we're

(48:38):
afraid to be judged because itmakes us makes us that's the
masculinity uh curse, right?

SPEAKER_02 (48:45):
I was gonna say hard to keep, easy to lose, hard to
keep, easy to lose.
And the moment I wear a pinktowel, oh you're not a mask.
Like, what's a pink towel?
What was I what was I doing?

SPEAKER_08 (48:57):
No, I didn't I grew up a skinny kid.
I was a skinny, I'm I'm the sameamount of pounds I was in like
ninth grade, you know.
So when you grow up that way,and you know, like to your
point, we're not supposed toshow weakness.
I feel like I'm already showingweakness just being myself and
then going to school with that.

(49:17):
Jokes became a defense mechanismbecause I didn't have the
muscles, but at the end of theday, it was a man weakness
thing, and it it builds amentality in you as you grow up,
you know.
Um, somebody that's never had togrow up that way, that grew up
muscular, never had to feelthat.
So he's got a whole differentoutlook when he walks out of his
door, right?

(49:37):
Right, you know, it shapes youover time, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (49:40):
Right, and now it's not just in person, you gotta
deal with now, you gotta dealwith it on social media as well.

SPEAKER_08 (49:47):
That's just making it worse.

SPEAKER_02 (49:48):
Yeah, that's the beautiful distraction.

SPEAKER_08 (49:51):
Beautiful distraction.
I I tell my audience, like,they'd be like, How come you
don't post all them little funnyreels and stuff?
It's like, I don't likebothering y'all.
How about that?
When I post something, I wanty'all to know I had something to
say, you know, be it funny orotherwise.
But like just posting for thesake of posting, it feels like
emptiness.
And I'm not gonna do that toy'all.

SPEAKER_02 (50:11):
Emotional carbs.
I call it emotional carbs.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (50:15):
Emotional carbs.

SPEAKER_02 (50:17):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (50:18):
Empty calories.
Emotional carbs.
You know, I want to say this toyou know, every man that is
watching tonight right now,every black man, every man who
has who has who was taught thatwhat Sam had just described
about not um there's somethingnot allowed that you're not
allowed to talk about.
What dog pal Mike Mike wastalking about as well.

(50:41):
You you don't want to have tocarry that along, and you you
never should.
Um audience, I have a questionfor you.
Has anyone here has gone througha season like Sam described,
like suffering without knowingwhy, or without even having the
language for?
And if so, if you can drop me aheart, um, if this is landing

(51:02):
with you.
And I know I saw quite a few umquestions that's going on, you
know, there um in the notes, uh,Dog Pound.
And if you um if you want to,you can go um scroll up and and
show some of those and read themout loud for me.

SPEAKER_01 (51:16):
Okay, we're gonna let me right here.
Um why is mental health stillheavily stigmatized in many
African and black communitiesacross the world, especially
when so many people are dealingwith deep-rooted trauma,
generational pain, and socialstruggles.
And I think that was aninternational uh from Africa.

(51:40):
Yes, from Africa.
But and that's the thing, is itis it's around the world.
You know, we hear we live herein the States, but it it it goes
everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 (51:51):
Right.

SPEAKER_08 (51:53):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (51:55):
Dr.
Will.

SPEAKER_02 (51:58):
You know, this is this is a three-layered piece,
so I'll be brief.
Um so we first have tounderstand that the medical
institution alone hasn't had thebest reputation in black
communities.
I'll leave it at that.
The second thing is we have tounderstand that our our cultural

(52:23):
our cultural and generationalburdens was not just trauma, it
was a way of survival.
I want to take the shame and theguilt on how we may act out as a
people, as not as a symptomaticor illness, but it was a
response and a rebellion to whatthe oppression did to us
systematically.

(52:44):
I tell people all the timeracism isn't just a black and
white thing, racism as anAmerican is an embodiment of our
culture.
We embody racism.
So so there is the these theseillnesses that are attached to
that that come out in the formof supremacy that generationally
and intergenerationally kind ofhold us over.

(53:06):
And the last thing I'll say isis that you know, as a as a hope
to all this, is that we as aculture are learning that we
have made our own medicinethrough our survival, through
through the jazz, the dancing,the movement.
We talk about they talk aboutEMDR therapy all the time, but

(53:27):
we were doing that, we weredancing and doing dances and
movement before bilateralstimulation.
That's that's dance movementtherapy.
We've been doing it, we've beendoing our healing with our work
and our art for years, right?
And so I I think we also have toremember to honor the medicine
that we've already created andthe the ability to have merit

(53:49):
and clout can have a healthyexistence, and sometimes we
chase the clout over the merit,which kind of takes away or
enforces the stigmatization ofmental illness in our community.

SPEAKER_04 (54:02):
Yeah.
You know, thank you for that,Dr.
Will.
All right, because we we want tokeep it moving.
So I'm I'm going to warn y'allon it.
This next clip, um, I'm not evengonna prepare y'all for it.
Um, I just need y'all to watchit.
So, Dr.
Mike Mike, if you go ahead andand put in uh clip three for us.

SPEAKER_08 (54:22):
Like I I have like a pace that I try to maintain, you
know?
And when I first started writingbits about the experiences that
I was having in mental health,um, I'll be honest, they kind of
wrote themselves because I waslike, if I'm gonna be authentic,
there's nothing for me to add toit, you know?
Did I have to find the funny init?

(54:43):
Absolutely.
You know, um, I can give you anexample of one that I haven't
really done.
Um, I I told you I got in thatcar accident, right?
Um, I got in a car accident.
What happened?
I was coming back from a gig inVegas, and it was in November
when we had all that rain.
Okay.
That real bad rain.
And uh the highway flooded outin front of me in the dark.

(55:04):
So I just hit a wall of water at60 miles an hour, and uh the car
stopped to cut off and all ofthat good stuff.
I did not think I was gonna makeit out of there just because of
where I was.
The cops got me out of thatdeluge, and I was saying, thank
God, I still owed him a show.
Um fast forward to on from thatmoment, uh, because again, back

(55:24):
to like me and Mike was talkingabout black men.
Oh, I'm fine.
I got out of that, it's allgood.
We just assume, you know, well,it happened.
What am I gonna do about it?
I'm gonna cry about it.
I my brain started doing that.
We went to Universal Studios inHollywood and we were about to
get on the Jurassic Park ride.
That's a water ride, y'all.

(55:45):
Uh wasn't thinking about it atthe time, though, you know.
So I was just, I'm with my kids,let's have a good time, you
know.
As soon as that bar locked downon my lap and I heard that water
around me, I was right back inthat car in an accident.
And I remember this is all Iremember clutching my son's arm
and bursting into tears.
I don't remember seeing a frameof the ride.

(56:07):
I was in tears.
As soon as the ride thing let meoff, I jumped out of the car and
I was crying in a corner of thelittle gift shop when you get
off the ride.
And my family came around me.
Um, let me pause right there inthat story.
Matter of fact, Mike, you ablack man.
All I could think was I'membarrassed.
Right.

(56:27):
I'm I'm in public right.
I'm I'm at Universal Studioscrying in front of all these
people.
I'm snatting at the nose.
What a weird thought to havewhile you're having a human
moment.
Why am I worried about them?
You know, like I should havebeen all the way worried about
me, and I couldn't do it.
My family jumped around me and Iheard them tell like one of the

(56:49):
workers, we got him, he's okay.
You know, and and they was justlike, you can chill, like we got
you, you know.
And I went and sat down for abit, and we ended up going to
enjoy the rest of our day.
Okay.
Um, and I I I will always thankthem for that moment.
So let's fast forward to thatnight when we get back home.
And my wife was like, uh, do youwant to talk about what happened

(57:12):
in the park?

SPEAKER_07 (57:12):
Right.

SPEAKER_08 (57:14):
And um I said to her, well, no, I'm fine.
You hear me lying to me?
I'm lying to me.
And um, I but what what I saidto her was, and this is again
black defense mechanism, I waslike, Well, what is there to
say?
Because in my mind it justhappened, you know.
And this is when I found out wereally got to communicate

(57:35):
better.
Because what she said to me was,Well, I'm trying to figure out
what made you cry on the ride.
She had no idea I was crying upthere about the car accident all
day because me and her hadgotten into an argument about
our intimacy like the nightbefore.
So she thought I was cryingabout that.
Wow.
And I was like, No, baby, I wascrying about the car accident,

(57:58):
not about, and she was like, Oh,okay, I didn't understand.
I just, you know, and I waslike, I ain't understand either.
I ain't realized you thoughtyour pussy was that good.
You thought I was crying on theride about draws.
I'm with my children right now,ma'am.
Like, you think that I got onthe water ride, and and when we

(58:24):
got to the top drop, I was like,Oh, I should be getting some
pussy right now and justsnapped.
Like, that's what you thinkhappened.
Is that where we at?
You know?

SPEAKER_01 (58:33):
Um I I guess you thought it was that wet, huh?

SPEAKER_05 (58:37):
Bruh.

SPEAKER_08 (58:37):
I was like, man, that taught me so like and like
I said, like I didn't have towrite that joke.
That's just what happened.

SPEAKER_01 (58:52):
That's life.
That's real.

SPEAKER_08 (58:53):
That's just life.
I was like, you really thought Iwas crying about the poo-boom.
Okay, wow, yeah, you know, andlike I said, clarity, man.
Clarity.
If we never had thatconversation, even her asking we
should talk about it, it wouldhave just been out in the open
and she would have just thoughtI was crying over the coochie.
You know?

SPEAKER_04 (59:14):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (59:16):
I love that.
Thank you for sharing thatstory.
Oh man.

SPEAKER_08 (59:30):
That's a clip there.
That's a clip.

SPEAKER_04 (59:32):
Okay.
Yeah, that's a clip there.
That's that definitely issaying, wow.

SPEAKER_08 (59:37):
All right, I gotta respond to that.
I gotta respond to that.
First off, my wife, I love Ilove her to death.
We got problems like every othercouple.
I love that woman.
Um, I don't know if y'all caughtthe part where I was professing
to her that I was fine.
Black men, we will, I'm fine,y'all to death.

(59:57):
Ladies, you should be terrifiedif your man says I'm fine and go
do something else.
He something is happening upthere, I promise you.
And what happens, uh I look, Dr.
Will about to go ahead and andand doctor doctor break it down.
Let me give you the uneducatedversion real quick.
Um, so y'all don't understand,like a man in a relationship,

(01:00:21):
and I won't speak for all ofthem.
If y'all disagree, please let meknow.
Um our first mode is to keep yousafe and happy in a
relationship.
Us telling you how we feel mightmake you upset, and in that we
stop talking.
I don't want to upset you withwhat's going on in my head, so

(01:00:44):
I'm fine because me not beingfine would make you not fine.
I do that to myself a tremendousamount.
I don't know why.
Have no idea why, but I'm quickto tell somebody I'm fine.
Quick.
I don't know why we do that asmen.

(01:01:04):
I think it's uh that's thatnatural defense mechanism.
But yeah, that's just whathappened in that scenario.
And um the the lesson out ofthat is communication.
The lesson is definitely um, youknow, you can be standing in the
same space with somebody andhave a completely different
perspective of what's going on.
Um, if I tell that outside of itsounding funny, I guess, people

(01:01:25):
would go, wow, how could shemiss that?
That's not the takeaway.
Anybody could have missed that,considering other factors
happening in people's lives.

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (01:01:34):
If that was the singular issue happening between
us, sure, I'd be like, How couldyou not see that?
But there's always back to whatwe said at the beginning, what
people going through that youdon't know.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:44):
Right.
Right.
You know, I just love that youjust made a great punchline out
of the whole thing.
That was just, you know, fromcoming from the seriness into
that.
That's just that's comedy goalright there.

SPEAKER_08 (01:01:58):
On a water ride.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:00):
That's that's truly comedy goal.
Like I said, when I was editingit um yesterday, I just I
couldn't stop laughing.
I was like, oh my God, this isjust so funny.
And it was just so funny, justto be like, am I supposed to be
laughing at this?
Like, am I supposed to belaughing at this?
But yes, because this it wasfunny.
It it was funny, and I'm gladthat you were able to use your

(01:02:24):
life in that manner and see itnot as a joke, but that you are
definitely laughing through it,that you can see the humor, you
can see that out of out of youknow what those situations, you
know, were or are, you know, inlife.
And and that's uh that'ssomething good to have.
Yeah, that's something reallygood to have, you know.

(01:02:47):
Um, Dr.
Will, do you want to break downwith what would um with him?

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:51):
No, I was just gonna add, I was just gonna quickly
add that when when in therapy,when someone says I'm fine, my
brain goes, either you're F'dup, insecure, needy, or
emotional.
F-I-N-E.
F'd up, insecure, needy, oremotional.
I was like, which one is it?
I was like, you're going throughone of them.
It's usually one of the four.

(01:03:11):
So someone says I'm fine.
I'm like, what does that looklike for you to be fine?
And then and then they then theygo, and then like they I figure
out which one of the four it is.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:22):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:23):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:24):
Put you on that doctor, Will.

SPEAKER_08 (01:03:26):
Yeah, Bill Burr has a oh, oh, go ahead, man.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:29):
Oh, no, no, because they're going back to because
Sam, uh when you see a lot ofmen say I'm fine, do you ever
have this feeling that you tellthem you're fine, and then you
move past it and you are fine,because sometimes in a man's
life, and well, that right therewill happen, it's so many worse

(01:03:50):
things that can happen, and I'dhave got through it and I'd have
moved through it.
So in a sense of time.
Right.
Are they are they actually fineand can move past that moment
and and keep living and keepdoing you know their day-to-day?

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:08):
No.
Yeah, but that's that's that'scalled, I mean, to me, that's
called being numb.

SPEAKER_06 (01:04:12):
Numb.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:14):
A lot a lot of men will choose numbness to ensure
that the mission is done.

SPEAKER_08 (01:04:20):
Yes.
That's exactly it.
That's exactly it.
I can't fold because too manypeople depend on me.
We put a lot on our shouldersthroughout the day, you know.
Um, not to say that that womendon't, you know, it's just uh an
internal thing that we aren'tallowed to express too much, or

(01:04:40):
it turns into something else.
Um, something that we do in theblack community, uh in the
comedy vein, and I feel likethis is just a black thing.
If I fry you, I love you.
Like if you know you see yourfriend, you're like, oh, that
old big old head, like you startthat's what we do.
We do the dozens.

(01:05:00):
And you know, if if there'ssomebody that you don't mess
with like that, you don't jokethem almost.
But in that type of love thatwe've turned into the dozens and
things, we've also given eachother a whole lot of
insecurities at the same timebecause it ain't but so many
times you get called big headSam before you know, you like,

(01:05:21):
well, damn, maybe I got a bighead, you know.
Like, you seen Michael, he toldMichael, big nose, go on, get
out of here.
One time, Joseph hit him withthat big nose one time, changed
his whole life.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:34):
You know, also, real quick, something that that that
Dr.
Palm Mike Mike said about howolder black men need to start
really like coming back to thehealing space and men come back
to the healing space.
Uh, one way that I do help, andI think everybody in the chats
can also get your purpose paperand purpose pen.

(01:05:55):
I just want to just add that youknow, you ask what age you are,
right.
So, Sam, how old are you?

SPEAKER_08 (01:06:01):
44.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:02):
44.
Right.
And then I would ask, How oldare you emotionally?

SPEAKER_08 (01:06:08):
Ooh, like 28.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:12):
28, right?

SPEAKER_08 (01:06:12):
I've asked myself that question a lot, actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:15):
And I would say that's where our therapy session
starts.
Right?
And then when they start goingthrough the 28-year-old, you'll
find something that happened at10 or 13.
And we have to understand thatyou know our life has been
compounded.
And like you said, if we keepnumbing and suppressing, that
tolerance didn't come out ofnowhere.
You didn't make that tolerancetoday.

(01:06:35):
That tolerance came from yearsof training and conditioning
that we just never got torelease.
So I always talk about like, youknow, you know, like you said,
you don't know what someone'sgoing through, which is why you
gotta be nice to everybody.
You don't know how old whoyou're talking to.
You might be talking to a manthat's that's actually five.

SPEAKER_06 (01:06:54):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:55):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:56):
That's real.

SPEAKER_07 (01:06:57):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:57):
Yeah.
You know, some I got a questionfor you.
I want I want to go back to umto the park, to the amusement
park.
And you you mentioned about theone thing that you thought about
while you were crying, where youthought about the embarrassment,
the embarrassment of it all.
You know, where for that I guessI want to ask why?

(01:07:23):
Why would that even be uh uh uhum a concern of embarrassment
for that does that make sense?

SPEAKER_07 (01:07:30):
Where absolutely you know it's ridiculous, yeah, to
go, you know, I'm crying and Iknow why I'm crying.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:36):
I'm I'm I'm having a you know a flashback on what
happened, I'm being triggered.
But for you and probably a wholelot of other people, the first
thing that comes up isembarrassment.
Oh my God, is anybody watchingme?
You know, my you know, insteadof taking care of self, but you
want to make sure that no one'saround you see what's going on
with you.

SPEAKER_08 (01:07:57):
Um not being allowed to be vulnerable is a part of
military culture.
And then adding that to my ownpersonal issues, it creates a
storm where all that's happeningin my head is I can't get these
people to all these people, likeyou know, it's hundreds of
people in an amusement park.

(01:08:18):
I don't have, I don't know howto get all of them to understand
what's happening to me rightnow.
And then that frustration goesin your head as a miss logic
point.
I can't get them, I can't conveythis to them.
I just got to keep doing it.
I remember seeing one person'sface when I got off that ride.
Barely.

(01:08:38):
I cracked the eye open on my wayoff the ride and I saw one
worker.
And I already knew what washappening in the workers' head.
Damn, them dinosaurs must havescared the hell out of this
dude.
You know, like something.
You know, I'm sure they seepeople get off rides crying all
the time.
Right, you know?
Um but in my mind it was almostwanted to like go, no, no, no,

(01:09:00):
you don't know why I'm crying.
I'm I'm not scared of themdinosaurs.
Like, I'm you know what I'msaying?
Like the little kid in me islike, I gotta explain myself.
The human could not, the humancouldn't deal.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:13):
You know what my mic would um Sam just was describing
about being embarrassed in inpublic at the theme park as a
black man.
Um, and I I want you to behonest, yeah, you have no choice
but to be honest.
Have um, have you been therebefore?
And do you recognize thatfeeling?

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:30):
Uh to be honest, yes, I have been there before.
Did I actually cry?
No, I did not.
You know, and like you said, thefeeling is the feeling goes to a
place that I cannot let thisout.
I cannot be embarrassed, Icannot show any weakness in
public.

(01:09:50):
And that's another part ofsomething that we hold in so
tight, you know, we hold sotight that like we talked about,
I think uh we talked about thislast week, Dr.
Will, that they affect us inother ways, you know.
That's why you got a lot ofblack men drinking and smoking
and doing things they'reexternalizing.

(01:10:11):
Yeah, you know, because you haveto hold that in.
I mean, I'm thinking about itnow.
It's like I couldn't dare let myfamily or people who don't know
me see me in that vulnerablestate because to me, that would
be worse than what actuallyhappened.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:29):
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:30):
You know, there he is.
It's worse than what whatevermade you cry, whatever it is.
Letting that letting that feelup is worse than what actually
happened.

SPEAKER_08 (01:10:39):
You just hit it on the head.
That's it, right there.
It was the none of these peoplewere there, none of these people
know what happened to me.
But in this moment, it'sembarrassing because of what I'm
doing.
And it's such a stupid place foryour brain to go to in that
moment.
It really is.
It really is.

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:59):
You know, Dr.
Will, the psychology of theemotion of depression with the
black man specifically, wheredoes that shame around public um
vulnerability come from?
And what is that long-termmental health will cause?

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:13):
Yeah, we we call that um a lack of um, well, it's
it's a lack of congruence,right?
So we end up realizing the man Iam, the man I'm trying to
become, and the man that I'mforced to be are in three
different rooms in the samehouse.
Right.
And so it creates this theseparation of worth.

(01:11:33):
My self-worth is now based uponhow I perform, not my presence.
And the the top tier, the endgoal of manhood is presence.
And so I can always tell how aman is hurting by the way they
provide, the way they perform,the way they produce, and the
products that they use, right?
To show ownership of self.
You know, and you can reallybreak a break a man down simply

(01:11:54):
by those four things.
So when I really look at whatblack men are missing or what
they need, the mental health isis actually what Sam actually
already said is creating thecontainer, and and actually Sam
is a master of that.
You being a a creator of comedy,you create a container of
receiving.

(01:12:15):
People walk into your room andunderstand there's a container,
there's a language, there's athere's a curation, there's an
openness, there's a discomfortthat comes.
And a lot of men are never giventhat power to create a safe
space to be heard.
So the fact that you create thatwith your art is a testament to
what manhood tries to become.

SPEAKER_08 (01:12:36):
Wow, thank you.
Wow.
I sound like I'm somebody.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:47):
One thing I want to ask you, Doc, with that the
first uh thing you said withthat is about uh a man in the
house and the three they are inthree different rooms.
That's a bar.
One one of the biggest thingwith that is sometime and men,
and this is for women too, it'sit ain't for men, it's it's
sometimes they don't even havethat many rooms to go to.

(01:13:11):
They don't have that many rooms,that many spaces to go to all
their own to express so onceagain that's when things that
creates the complex though.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:24):
That creates the complex, right?
That's the kind of distortion,right?
That's the all-or-nothingthinking.
That's the if if if I don't dothis, then nothing will happen.
If I don't become that, thenthis won't happen.
If I don't become the basketballplayer, the NBA star at the age
of eight, if I don't become theproduct, the prodigy, right?
Even even when it comes tomusicians, right?

(01:13:45):
You see church musicians, theycan't learn one instrument, they
gotta learn all three drums,bass, keys, right?
They gotta learn everything,right?
We're never given the chance todevelop, right?
You either are or you're not,right?
Either you're gonna pay my billsor you're not, you're gonna pay
the bag or you're not, you'reyou're you're gonna become a

(01:14:05):
degree earner or not, you'regonna be an entrepreneur or not,
right?
The the the not part, there's nothere's no space for that to
exist until you surrender to thefact that nothing actually m it
matters, but that's a wholeother conversation.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:19):
And even all those things or not, you fight in
time.
Yeah, you always fight in time.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:26):
Yeah, you really are, right?
We fight time more thanourselves.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:31):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so let's move on to thefourth, um, to the fourth, the
last uh clip if we can.
So we're gonna go ahead and dothis last clip, and then I want
a reaction from you uh when wefinish.
All right, all right, go ahead,Mike.
Therapy has that actually helpedyou in your marriage as well.

SPEAKER_08 (01:14:52):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Um, we'd have been through it,we didn't almost separate it, we
didn't try the open thingbecause we different people,
like we didn't try all sorts ofthings.
But um, I if we didn't go to mypersonal therapist, and then we
had like a group one uh that wewent to together, um, we'd have
been done a long time ago, wholelong time ago.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:13):
Right.
I love that.
I love that for you.
All right, so I'll tell you thatwas my last, but this is my last
question for you, really.
What does healing actually looklike for you right now?
Like, not in theory, but whatdoes it look like for you?

SPEAKER_08 (01:15:28):
Everybody listening, man.
Healing is not going to presentitself the way you think it is.
It is not.
I remember I was like, okay, I'mgonna go to therapy, talk to
this white woman once a week,boom, boom, I'm back off to the
races, you know.
Um, it don't start working untilyou start sitting with the
things that you talk about andthinking about your behavior and

(01:15:52):
situations, you know.
I feel like um humans, period.
We never consider our actions ina given uh predicament.
We consider everything that'shappening on the outside of it
and how we outwardly react toit.
When we might be sitting in themiddle creating a negative
space, depending on how wepresent ourselves.
So um healing for me is the daythat I could sit and I'm sitting

(01:16:17):
with all these emotions and I'min my head about everything and
go, I don't have to be.
I understand why I'm having thisvisceral reaction to whatever
trigger I have.
Um and I'll just say this beforewe leave on triggers.
Nobody's responsible for yourtriggers.
And I say that with all care andsensitivity because that doesn't

(01:16:40):
mean they aren't valid.
But going into a space, you haveto be aware of the ones you
already have and temper yourselfbecause you also don't want to
impart negative space on anybodyelse when you're around people.
So um, I feel like the learninghappens when you look a little
bit more intrinsic.
You stop going, these people aredoing this to me, and go, this

(01:17:01):
is how I just naturally react tothings and I can fix that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:17:04):
Right, right.
You know what?
Thank you for that.
Thank thank you for that.
Do we have any more questions?
Document, do you have any thelast question for him or
anything like that?

SPEAKER_01 (01:17:13):
No, no, I don't.
No, it's been a great show,great experience.

SPEAKER_04 (01:17:17):
Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 (01:17:17):
Well, what I'm honored to be here.

SPEAKER_04 (01:17:20):
No, it it is, it's it's good that you is here.
So let me let me say thisbecause we've been talking about
you, right?
We ain't talking about theletter, it's the letter that we
that we have, it's a letter thatwe have, and it's all about
betrayal, right?
So this month we've been talkingabout for betrayal and healing
and reclaiming yourself and allof that going through.
So, where does laughter live inthis process for you?
Not personally, but if somebodycame to you and said, Look, I'm

(01:17:44):
trying to heal from beingbetrayed to, lied to, and all of
this other stuff, how can youmake that person heal through
laughter with that?
Am I trying to get a free freejoke out of this?

unknown (01:17:55):
No.

SPEAKER_08 (01:17:57):
Oh man, there's no, I don't think there's a place in
life you can go to somebodyain't gonna end up trying to
stab you in the back some kindof way.
People just weird, man.
Um, I I left LA for a whilebecause I got tired of the
backstabby stuff, you know, anduh I had to find the laughter in
laughter again.
Once you do comedy, you neverlook at comedy the same way.

SPEAKER_04 (01:18:19):
Right.

SPEAKER_08 (01:18:19):
And I think that's any industry, you know.
Um once you're in it, you yousee behind the curtain.
Uh so it's real hard.
It's real hard to get somebodyto the point that I'm at.
That's why I'm like, I'm strongenough to pass this message on.
You know, the getting to thelaughter is that's my purpose.
Y'all come to a show and you'rehaving a hard time getting to

(01:18:41):
the laughter, being able to lookat yourself.
I promise you leaving withsomething.
I promise you leaving withsomething.

SPEAKER_06 (01:18:47):
I love that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:18:50):
Wow.
That was good.
Yeah, that was good.
You know, Sam, you had said uhin the interview, and um in our
interview, and now sitting herelive tonight, what does your
healing look like right now?
I know what you told me a fewweeks ago, but right now,
tonight, what does your healinglook like?

SPEAKER_08 (01:19:11):
Oh man.
Uh, between when we recordedthat and now, I wasn't supposed
to be home right now, like Naomitold you at the beginning of the
show.
Um, I went through some thingsthat I don't even want to give
energy to, you know.
Um, and the reason I say that isbecause um my first reaction was
I think anybody's naturalreaction to anything bad going

(01:19:33):
on in their life, like I want togo ahead and tell people what
happened, you know.
And again, good therapists, stayoff the internet for a little
bit, you know.
Um and um the blessings thatcame out of uh when I went on
the road far exceed the bad,especially when I know I did the
right thing in the situation.

(01:19:54):
Y'all follow me, you'll hearabout it later.
I promise.
But um for this, I was like, no,I don't, this this doesn't
deserve that.
This deserves to be spoken to inthe most positive fashion.
Yeah.
I got out there and I rekindledrelationships with cousins that
I didn't have.
Me and my mother's relationshipgot fixed.

(01:20:15):
I got to see my goddaughter, youknow.
And in any situation, like mycar accident, like the things
that happened, it's very easyfor us to focus on that thin
line of negative that happenedinside of something, even if it
seems big, because it's justeasier for our brain to think
about the bad.
Um, I'm choosing not to do thaton this one.

(01:20:36):
Um, I'm blessed that I gottaught the lessons that I needed
to learn and that I got backhome because I know my name's
solid.

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:46):
Nice.
I love that.
So I have another question foryou.
What does um what do you want toleave with the audience tonight?

SPEAKER_08 (01:20:55):
Um, I hope y'all enjoyed yourselves for one.
Um, when I say like me and andand Miss Banks' relationship has
gone from, oh wow, I know you docomedy, I know you did adult
film to that's my friend.
That I mean that with allsincerity.
And if we ever get a chance,well, we will.

(01:21:16):
We're gonna talk again.
I would love to explain to y'allthe mental thing that happens uh
from 19, 18 years old watchingsomebody be an adult film star
as a man throughout their lifeto be able to have conversations
with them now that you neverthought you'd be able to have is
fascinating.

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:37):
Don't be aging me like that, Dr.
Wheel.

SPEAKER_08 (01:21:40):
So Sam I had no business downloading their
things, but hey.

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:49):
You know what?
Yeah, Sam has said um he hassaid nobody is responsible for
your triggers, but you stillhave to know them to know them.
Unpack that for the audiencereal fast because I think that
this is one of the mostimportant things that he said
throughout the entire series.
So if you can unpack that for mereally fast.

SPEAKER_02 (01:22:10):
Yeah, uh principle one of my healing modality.
The action is never the reason.
We have to understand that theway that we live our life, the
way that we take things in, theway that we understand how we're
treated is a it can be either aloss or a lesson.
And when we have not trained ourminds and our hearts, we see
everything as a reaction or aplace to prove ourselves.

(01:22:33):
But when you heal yourself, yourealize you can respond and you
can sit, S-IT, slow down,interview, then talk it out, you
know, and realize that there's alesson in every experience.
Every person you meet isactually a lesson.
And when you learn that, youactually slow down with them,
and you also take things lesspersonal because they're meant

(01:22:56):
to move on.
Because you're not supposed toremember your lesson, you're
supposed to live through yourlesson.

unknown (01:23:00):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:01):
Oh, I love that.
I love that.
Thank you.
Dog Mike Mike, do you have anylast words um from you?
And what has this month for youmeant?
You know, you've been here withme through the whole month.
What has it been for you?
And what are you taking homewith from this conversation
tonight?
Because you got you dropped alot of gems tonight.

SPEAKER_01 (01:23:18):
Well, that's what I do.
Uh um from the whole month andfrom tonight, it's it's just
about opening up.
It's about opening up self-love,being out there and realizing
what you're going through inlife.
And sometimes, even if you arefeel yeah, you in a better
place, even opening up tosomeone else may open them up.

(01:23:42):
You know, I think one of thebiggest things that's gonna
help, especially black men inthis world on a on a on a mental
health stage, is being able totalk to some someone, and they
may open up more than you openit up.
So that will make you feel like,well, uh, okay, maybe uh it
ain't that bad.
But let me listen to this, bro.

(01:24:02):
And actually, I was at worktoday and I had a younger
brother who talked to me aboutsome things, and just our little
conversation.
We both all right, we both doingokay, we both, but you still
need that conversation, justsomeone to tell you, you know,
this is going on, this is goingon.
Well, Mike, what what do youthink I should do about this?
And it was it was it was simpleconversations, but those little

(01:24:26):
things opening up thatcommunication helps greatly,
helps greatly, you know.
Everybody, everybody don't needto see a therapist.
Some people just need to seesome good friends, yeah.
Some people just need to seesome trusting people, yeah.
Some people just need to, youknow, like me, take my old ass
to a pickup game.
I gotta do 55 and older leaguesnow, and we only playing half

(01:24:48):
court, you know.
But you gotta get out there andand meet some people and have
that conversation, you know, andit helps a lot.
But the for the people who needmore help, more therapists, more
Dr.
Wheels, they gotta realize thatand welcome that too.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:02):
Yeah, beautiful, beautiful.
So all right, I'm gonna give youone last um Sam.
Um tell everybody where they canfind you at.
Um, where you going?
Are you where you going on umare you going back out on the
road?
Um, all your website, give it tothem.

SPEAKER_08 (01:25:17):
Yeah, uh Sam Ridley, R-I-D, L E Y, Comedy on
Everything and the LegalOpinions Podcast, like we
mentioned before.
Uh, like it's the same onabsolutely everything.
Sam Ridley Comedy, TikTok,YouTube, all that good stuff.
Uh, I'll be in uh back in theEast Coast in September.
I got into the North CarolinaComedy Festival, so I'll be back

(01:25:37):
out there in Goldsboro inSeptember.
But I'm gonna be all over theplace.
I'm about to put a whole nothertour together and start building
this brand.
Y'all gonna see me out there.
Just follow the page, trust meon that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:47):
Beautiful, beautiful.
And Dr.
Will, thank you as always.
Come on, come on with it, comeon with it, dear friend.
What you got to say?

SPEAKER_02 (01:25:57):
Be kind to yourself and heal always.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:02):
Never fails, never fails.
All right, y'all.
We are at the end of May, and weare at the end of our Love,
Lost, and Reclaim series.
And uh, I want to just closethis month out and just say that
we the way that we opened upwith the letter um with the
woman that I've never met, satdown on a Sunday morning again.
And she just trusted me withthat um that honest piece of

(01:26:25):
writing.
I've I've you know, it was goodbecause we were able to break it
down in so many different ways.
Um, and we just showed up.
We had on the third um lastweek, we had um Miss Krista come
in and she fit right in with thetopic that we were talking
about.
You know, we had spent fourThursdays this month talking
about betrayal, accountability,desire, healing, and then

(01:26:48):
tonight laughter.
And with thousands of peoplethat have been watching and
listening, every single one ofthose conversations has been
amazing.
I one thing do I do love is Ilove that BTG crew, y'all been
in the comments and I see y'all.
We see the comments, we see youknow it all.
And I I think it's probablyabout time that we start to, you
know, lengthen out the show moreso we can really go to the

(01:27:11):
comments and talk a lot morewith the uh comments and kind of
slow the show down.
But again, this has been one ofthe most amazing series that um
I've had.
And it's so funny because Ididn't, I wasn't gonna do it.
You know, I was gonna hold offon it until next, yeah.
I was gonna hold off on it untilnext year.
And then I said, ah, let me letme get it together.

(01:27:32):
Okay, me and Dr.
Will, Dollpa, Mike Mike, andthen you came in.
And yeah, and it came backtogether.
But it's one thing that I wantto say that the young lady has
said in the letter um before,um, and I want to read it to I
want to say it to everybody.
She said, even with stones thatare put in your way, you can

(01:27:55):
still build something beautiful,even those stones are put in
your way.
Way, you can still buildsomething beautiful.
And then she signed the letter,Keep Growing Pretty Flower.
So Sam really, again, you builtsomething beautiful with your
stones, you know, your caraccident, your years of

(01:28:18):
suffering and silence, your yourbreak, um, your breakdown at the
water parade and universal, yourmarriage almost falling apart.
And you turned it and you put iton a stage and you turned it
into something just so amazingwith your microphone and a
message and a mission.
And that is what this month hasbeen about.

(01:28:39):
Not pretending that the stonesare not there, not waiting for
someone to move them for you,but building something beautiful
with them anyway.
And here's what I want you toleave with tonight, y'all.
Your pain is purpose.
Your pain has purpose.
Even when you cannot see it,trust me, you are looking at
somebody right now who hastransformed their life and a

(01:29:03):
man.
When I tell you, healing is notlinear and it does not look the
way that you think it will.
All right, my beautiful people.
Again, laughter is not denial,laughter is what it sounds like
when you have surprisedsomething and decided to have
joy.
So again, my my my man justwalked off and laughed.

(01:29:24):
Um, again, Sam really thank you.
Thank you for thank you.

SPEAKER_08 (01:29:29):
This was awesome.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:30):
So much love.

SPEAKER_08 (01:29:32):
This was awesome.
I really appreciate the two ofyou.
Thank you, Dr.
Will, for your time as well.
I've been watching you from hereon the page.
I was like, Oh, yeah, we'regonna we're gonna rap.
This gonna be great.

SPEAKER_02 (01:29:41):
Yeah, I love that we can do so much in such a short
little time.
That's how you know it's real.
When you don't gotta be herelong, you just gotta make the
impact.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:49):
Yeah, yeah.
And Dr.
Will, thank you.
Always thank you.

SPEAKER_02 (01:29:55):
I got your back.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:56):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
You know, before I leave, I wantto um remind you all um that I
need to tell y'all about um theyoung man Maverick.
We we still raise the money forMaverick, right?

SPEAKER_06 (01:30:09):
We still yes, yes, we are gonna do that for
Maverick, right?

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:17):
We'll put some mic mic is putting it in uh um in in
in the um the chat right now.
You know, hit the link, youknow, send over some money,
whatever you have.
And if you don't, please sharethe link.
And if you're new here, um uhMaverick has a childhood cancer,
it's called neuroblastoma.
Um, and Sam brought him to myattention when we had the
interview there, and that'sactually what they were going on

(01:30:39):
the road raising money for atthat time.
You'll hear the whole um spielum from actually the interview
is going on right now.
I scheduled it to go on rightnow.
I didn't know we were gonna begoing this long.
And then also our love and umand mental health campaign um is
also link is gonna be on therewith both um both calls this,
both links, and this is how weshow up.
We don't just talk about it, wewe do we do about it, and uh

(01:31:03):
everything goes to to there.
All right.
So let me announce this.
Next week we would not be here,but we are coming back the
following week.
We're coming back the followingweek because guess what, y'all?
I got a new app.
I got an app that is finallycoming out on June 23rd, and so
I'm taking a week off just todedicate to that, to my um, to

(01:31:24):
getting that all together andand ready to go.
But that is about it.
That is it.
That is it.
Thank you guys.
We have done it.
Um, two years, three years gonnabe great, ain't it?
Next year, gonna be a good one.

SPEAKER_02 (01:31:40):
I'm excited.

SPEAKER_04 (01:31:41):
Yeah, next year is gonna be a good one again.
Thank you, Sam.
Thank you, Dr.
Wheel.
Dog pound mic, Mike, thank you.
All in the BTG crew.
I see y'all out there.
Thank you so much for just beinghere, just being active, showing
up and showing out and doingyour thing.
And as I always say, be good toone another and yourselves, and
always keep it sexy.

(01:32:03):
See you in a few weeks.

SPEAKER_03 (01:32:05):
Hey, it's the goddess Naomi Thanks.
And I hope you enjoyed that lastepisode of Axe Naomi Bridging
the Gap.
And if you did, please like,subscribe, press that
notification button, as well ascomment.
I'll see you next week.
Keep it sexy.

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