Red Flags & Rose Colored Glasses: Why We Ignore What We Already Know

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:13):
Welcome to a podcast like no other.
Get ready for insightfulconversations, diverse
perspectives, and a touch ofinspiration.
This is Ask Naomi, which is theGap Podcast.
Join your host, the dynamicNaomi Bank, as she delves into
the heart of various topics witha refreshing blend of curiosity
and wisdom.
Each week, Naomi is joined byspecial guests to bring their

(00:35):
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It's a journey of discovery,learning, and world.
And let's not forget about theone and only dog found my mind,
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Ask Naomi.
Bridging the Gap Podcast offersa space where great topics meet

(00:58):
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So, mark your calendars, setyour reminders, and prepare to
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Get ready to bridge the gap,expand your horizon, and immerse
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Subscribe now and stay tuned fora podcast journey like no other.

SPEAKER_03 (01:20):
Alright, alright, alright, hey, my beautiful
people.
We had a nice little hiccupthere in the beginning.
We had a nice little welcome toAxe Naomi Bridging the Gap
Podcast.
This is where we talk aboutlove, sex, relationship,
cultural differences, and somuch more by bridging the gap
between them all and teachingthe world on what, Mike Mike?

(01:41):
On everything.

SPEAKER_05 (01:44):
We teach the world on everything today.

SPEAKER_01 (01:46):
I'm trying to keep up.

SPEAKER_03 (01:49):
Oh, but you know, this is a very special month for
us.
This is our mental healthawareness month.
We call it our love, um, loveand health, um, health awareness
month.
And we have Dr.
Will with us uh in the building.
Um, you know, last Thursday westarted up with a letter, right?
We talked about what happenswhen someone you love takes the

(02:10):
truth away from you, right?
And the response from thecommunity was everything.
And if you missed it, I wanty'all to go back and watch it.
Watch what we said last weekbecause it was amazing.
Um, and we started off with theletter, and it was the setup for
everything that we're doing thismonth.
But tonight, tonight, we aregoing um somewhere a little bit
more uncomfortable, a little bitmore uncomfortable because our

(02:33):
letter writer did something thatmost people do not do when they
tell their side of the story.
She did not just talk about whatwas done to her, but she told on
herself.
Yes, yes, she told on herself,and this is what she wrote.

(02:58):
She said, looking back, I canalso see my own fault in not
properly registering all the redflags I was seeing, including
her excessive love bombing, herover-the-top future faking.
I too preferred to convince andlie to myself, rationalizing all

(03:23):
the red flags away.
I was love blind.
I was love blind.
So she saw the flags, she feltthe flags, and if you listen
last week, she even dreamedabout the flags.
But she chose to stay, at leastfor a while, and she was honest

(03:47):
enough with herself to own that.
And not only did she own it, sheowned it out loud.
So tonight, tonight, we are nothere to shame anyone for loving
someone who was not safe, forfalling for the wrong person.
Does not make you stupid.
What it does is it makes youhuman.

(04:09):
But we're here to understand thewhy.
Why we do it, because thatunderstanding is exactly how we
stop repeating it.
That's how we stop repeating it.
So, my beautiful people, I wantto welcome you to week two of
our love, lust, lost andreclaimed.
Again, I am your girl, D GoddessNami Banks here.

(04:31):
I got dogmic mic in the house.
What's going on, baby?

SPEAKER_05 (04:33):
Yep, yep, all good, ready to go.

SPEAKER_03 (04:34):
We got Dr.
Will Washington that's back inthe building.
Hey, hey, Dr.
Will, what's going on?
We just say roo-roo-roo.

SPEAKER_06 (04:43):
The car goes wild.
So good to see you.

SPEAKER_03 (04:47):
You too.
What's going on?
And of course, I see the BTGcrew that's out there, that's
out there.
What is going on?
Again, if you guys are listeninghere live, if you guys are
listening live, I'm I'm I lovethat all of you are here, and I
love the love that youconstantly give us here to
stream it on all the platformshere.
I love it.
Well, how about you, Mike?

SPEAKER_05 (05:07):
We love it.
We love everybody coming backand keeping supporting us over
here.

SPEAKER_03 (05:10):
Exactly, exactly.
Again, I see you all, uh, all ofthe BTG crew.
All right, so um, we was gonnatake a quick break.
Let's let's roll on.
We was gonna take a quick breakum because I did want to talk
about our sponsor.
We do have a sponsor um for thiswhole series, um social catfish.
So we just spent the wholesegment we talked about the red
flags, right?
And we chose not to see them.

(05:32):
And I want to add one more twoto your toolkit, to your
toolkit, and this comes fromsocial catfish.
Um, before we dive deep intothis topic, all right.
And so, because here is thething sometimes, sometimes the
flags is not something that youcan see with your eyes.

(05:52):
Sometimes it's not.
It's a photo that has been usedacross five different profiles.
It's a phone number registeredto a completely different name,
it's an email address that showsup in the scam reports, and you
would never know any of thatwithout the right tools.
So for social, social catfish,they have a whole thing with an

(06:16):
online identity where you canfind all of that out.
All of that out, and then itdefinitely would be in our link
and I show links um soon.
I don't think I put it in therefor verification, for
verification, cross-reference to200 billion public records, so
you can see the full picture ofwho you are really dealing with

(06:37):
before you invest your time andyour energy and your love.
Yes, and again, that is our umum for today.
Thank you.
I just got a brain brain freezethere.
Um, social catfish is there.
So again, you can search byname, phone, email, user photo.
It works all across all thedating apps, the social media,

(06:59):
everywhere that people hidebehind the scenes.
So make sure you check that out.
You can also go toaxenaomiomi.com, it's actually
on our front page, um, socialcatfish.
Social catfish.
So we can now stop rationalizingflags that you cannot see yet.
You can get the full picturefirst.
Again, the link is go toaxenaomiomi.com and you can see

(07:21):
it right there.
All right.
So make sure y'all got check itout.
Check it out.
All right, so y'all ready forthis?
Let's go.
Are y'all ready for this?
Are you ready for this, Dr.
William?

SPEAKER_06 (07:29):
I'm so excited.
Let's do this.

SPEAKER_03 (07:30):
Yeah, it's a different spin this this year
than it was last year.
Yeah, it's totally a differentspin.
All right, so on in this firstsegment, we're gonna be talking
about love bombing, futurefaking in the hook.
That's what we're gonna talkabout.
But before we before we goanywhere tonight with this, I
want to make sure that everybodyin the chat has the same

(07:51):
language that has the samelanguage because these words get
thrown around a lot.
These words get thrown around alot, you know.
Um, and I want us to actuallyunderstand what they mean when
we're talking about our lives,right?
So, Dr.
Will, Dr.
I want to start here with youbecause this is a clinical

(08:13):
conversation before it'sanything.
Let's get that right.
This is a clinical conversationbefore there's anything.
So when when it comes down towhen we break down the love
bombing, when we break down thethe future faking from a
sociological standpoint, whydoes it work so effectively on

(08:34):
emotionally intelligent people?
And what is happening in thebrain during that experience?

SPEAKER_06 (08:42):
Yeah.
So let's let's start from theinside out.
So let's get a little nerdy andthen I'll make it more pop
psychology.
So let's just start with thechem brain chemistry here.
So oxytocin is only thebeginning, right?
So attachment activates when thewhole neurochemical cocktail.
So oxytocin, dopamine,serotonin, opioids all fire

(09:05):
together, right?
And then that opioid systemexplains why separation
literally literally feels likewithdrawal.
That's why when I always talkabout my my work with my clients
that are in breakup, I go, Oh,you're going through emotional
withdrawal, right?
Or hey, you seem emotionallydrunk and now you're becoming
emotionally sober, right?
Because your brain has createdthis chemistry of saying, Oh, I

(09:27):
like this, I need this.
This is what makes me feel good.
This is what makes you feel likeyou're enough.
This is what makes you feel goodabout yourself.
So we have to understand that,like you said before, it's not
the fact that you're a badperson or you didn't see it.
It's you you were chemically,you're in chemical warfare.

SPEAKER_01 (09:44):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (09:44):
Right?
You're in chemical warfare andnot knowing it.
But what your brain was tryingto do was genuinely just create
a safe need.
Yeah.
From something beyond before youeven made the conscious decision
to be in a relationship.
Your brain already wired itselfin a relationship and what's
healthy for you before you metthat person.

(10:04):
Right.
So we gotta bring it back to ourown chemistry.
Let's just start with that.

SPEAKER_03 (10:08):
Right, right, right.
You know, I love that you saidit.
So I want to do this.
I'm gonna bring Mike Mike Q inhere because I want to bring it
from the the the clinical park,and I want to bring it from the
um the dog pound real part overhere.
So for you, for have you everbeen love bomb?
And do, and you know, I want toknow, do men even have that
language for that experience?
You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 (10:30):
You know something.
Um I ain't never been lovebombed, but I've been bombed on.
I mean, I was the bomberdropping the bomb.

SPEAKER_06 (10:37):
Yeah, you're the unibomber.
I like it.

SPEAKER_05 (10:40):
But you know, Naomi, you you you said it.
I mean, in your question, youasked Dr.
Will, you know, why does thishappen to intelligent, emotional
people?
Right.
And and I'll give and I'll giveyou an example.
Dr.
Will went from the inside out,right?
I'm going from the outside in.
Okay.
The outside in is attraction.
You know, we we we we see thatfine, that fine, intelligent

(11:01):
woman at the club.
We see how she's looking, andshe got everything she needs,
but that man.
Right.
She got everything.
She works, she makes her ownmoney.
I don't need you to do no bill.
I just need someone to be closeto.
So already she has put herself,and this goes both ways, so she
put herself out there.
I'm just looking for someone tolove me, show me some comfort

(11:22):
because I can do everything elsemyself.

SPEAKER_03 (11:24):
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (11:24):
So I'm just looking for so right then she's opened
up for someone from probablyfrom the dog pound crew to come
in and say everything she wantsto hear.
And from that on is, and sheknows I'm an intelligent person,
I'm gonna tell you, I'm working,uh, I'm I'm doing everything I
need to do.
But if that is missing out of aperson's life right then,

(11:48):
anything they hear good, it'sgonna work.

SPEAKER_02 (11:52):
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (11:52):
Because we know everything else.
I got a great job, I'm makingmoney, I'm driving my car, I got
my own place, I got everything Ineed, but that.
So once you start hearing thosewords, she's already getting
bombed on, or he's alreadygetting bombed on.
Right.
You know, so that's when it goesback to that the representative
coming in and saying everythingthis person wants to hear.

SPEAKER_03 (12:14):
Right, right, right.
You know, I guess what my thingis is you know, why even do all
of that?

SPEAKER_05 (12:22):
You know, sometime, you know, and sometimes it could
be genuine, sometimes it couldbe real, but if a person is
missing this in their lives,right, they're gonna take even a
little bit and they gonnathey're gonna take it and fill
their whole cup up.
They're gonna take those wordsand and and make it into
everything.
The first thought running tothat woman or that man mind once

(12:44):
they hear this stuff is okay,this is the one we're gonna get
married, we're gonna get we'regonna it it starts just explode
because if that's the only thingthat you're missing in your
relative per perfect life, thenyou're gonna hope and wish that
it's real and it's true.

SPEAKER_03 (13:01):
Right.
So let me ask you this becauseyou know, you always hear about
the men love bombing the women.
Do on the mess, do you ever getlove bomb men?
Like, seriously, I want to askthe audience.
I want to ask the audience, andyou well, you said you've never
been bombed, Mike.
You've been the bomber.
So for you, Dr.
Will, even though you are atherapist, you know, have you

(13:21):
ever been love bombed or do oryou have you had any clients
that have been that's menthat've been love bombed?

SPEAKER_06 (13:27):
Oh yeah, and and and so this plays into that um toxic
masculinity role.
I've seen a lot of women use thestereotype of masculinity to
ease their way into to differentpositions, right?
Like, oh my gosh, you're sostrong.
Oh my gosh, you really took youtook out the trash.
Oh my gosh, you paid all yourbills, you a real man.

(13:49):
Oh my god, you paid for me andmy friend.
Oh my god.
Oh, you're gonna you're gonnaUber me, you can ex Uber me.
Oh, see, that's how you takecare of me.
Oh my god, my man, I don't gottaworry about my man paying my so
me saying those things are yes,they feel like compliments, but
it's also incentives forencouraging this moment of
output that may have never beenearned.

(14:10):
Or oh my gosh, can you cry on mycan you cry on your shoulder and
talk about how I hate men to adude that's single?
You know, thank you so much forbeing a great friend, and then
they leave.
Well, what about me?
Oh, we're just friends, right?
And so it's like that's afriendship, but then it's also
this moment where you only useme when you're single, but then

(14:30):
when you're dating somebodyelse, you don't talk to me.
And then you come back when youget broken up when I already
told you that do was not okay.
Right.
It's this moment where we startrealizing that the love bombing
comes more of a situational needfor your friends.
Or and I think as as men, wetend to just be happy that we're
getting the attention.

(14:51):
Right?
You're right.
We're just happy to get theattention because usually it's
on us, right?
To like make the move, do theincentive, lead.
And nowadays, when we when we goup to somebody and they're like,
No, I don't like you, we justwalk away.
And then women are like, Whyaren't you pursuing me?
Because that's called assault.

SPEAKER_05 (15:10):
Well, you know, the add on that, Dr.
Will, is a lot of men get lovebomb, but they don't even
realize that they've been lovedbombed.
Yeah, you know, because it'sfeeding to their egos, right?
And what women do is women putyou in the friend zone.
Once you're in the friend zonewith a woman, and and and some
men mind, most men mind, theylike, I'm in a friend zone, so

(15:31):
I'm stepping in the rightdirection.
You know, and a woman can betruly you in this friend zone,
it's never gonna go for thatfar.
But men have been manipulated tothe fact that okay, one day it's
gonna happen.
One day it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_06 (15:45):
Or or even maybe even take that next point.

SPEAKER_03 (15:48):
But not all women.
Be very careful about that.
That that being because I puteverybody in a friend zone.

SPEAKER_06 (15:55):
But but but see, this is the thing though.

SPEAKER_05 (15:57):
You got a whole lot of whole.

SPEAKER_06 (15:58):
Men are taught.
Hey, if you if you like a girlat the bar, you're supposed to
buy the drink.

SPEAKER_01 (16:03):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (16:04):
Right?
What now that means that I haveto have the income to be able to
provide a drink for you whenwe're both here at the same bar
anyway.
But then if I say, hey, this isequal thing, like if you like
me, I like you, you like no, Ihave to show interest by making
sure I have these certain thingsto make sure that I am worthy to
show that I'm interested.

(16:25):
Why why can't my presence or mymy my attention with you be the
worth of that?
That's not what that's not whatmen are expected to do, right?
In our in a in this socialsocial climate, that's not the
culture.
So I think a lot of times menare love bomb in a way that is
more um servitude andtransactional than actually

(16:47):
relational.

SPEAKER_03 (16:48):
I like that.
I like the way that you you youput that in in difference.
So let's we're gonna put a pauseon this and we're gonna come
back.
So let's talk about the letter.
So the letter writer, she saysthat the woman that she was
dating appeared to have um theprecise energetic blend, you
know what I mean, um, that shewas attracted to, but it turned
out to be a performance.

(17:09):
And she even wonders if um theother woman was doing it um
unconsciously.
So, because here's the thingabout people who have learned to
perform.
Sometimes they do do it and theydon't even know that they're
doing it anymore.
It's like they they read theroom, they become what they
want, and you know, you knowwhat I'm saying?
Just to close the deal.
You you know, like they knowexactly when they come on, they

(17:33):
turn on, bam, that's it.
That's that's that's where I'mgonna be, that's where I'm gonna
be at.
That's who I'm gonna be just forthis room and this this space.
I'm putting on my costume and mymask for this room.
So, Dr.
Wheel, can someone manipulatewithout even knowing that they
are doing it?
Is that actually possible?

SPEAKER_06 (17:52):
Yes.
So we yes, complete 100%.
The the thing is we gotta becareful with our language here,
right?
So a lot of times when peopleare love bombing, it's not this
intentional targeting of like,oh, I gotta love bomb, I gotta
give them this, I gotta givethem this, I gotta give them
this.
Sometimes they've learned thatthe art of their game and to get
favor is by giving up front,right?

(18:16):
I have to give, give, give,give, give to be seen as worthy
or to be seen as wanted.
That's an attachment styleissue, right?
So when we talk aboutmanipulation, that's
understanding that I am holdinga power over you.
Love bombing is I'm not givingyou any other chance to see
anything else except except forme, which in this social climate

(18:39):
is called pressure.
So is pressure love bombing, orlike when when do we define when
it becomes unhealthy or not?
When do we know?
Right?
So, and that has tounfortunately that has to be on
the person that's receivingthat.
Yeah, they have to know theirlimitations with or be honest
about their intentions with theother person.

(18:59):
Yeah, and that can be hard.

SPEAKER_03 (19:02):
Yeah, yeah.
Audience, I have a question foryou all.
Has anyone here ever been lovedbomb?
And I want you to look back,looking back, was there ever a
moment when where someone camein like so intensely, so
perfectly that something thatyou should have asked more
questions?
I want you to drop in the chatright now.

(19:22):
I see a little chat is going onover there, the whole lot of
conversations going over overthere.
But yeah, let me know.
I'm gonna repeat it.
Has anyone been love bomb?
And then looking back, was therea moment when someone came in so
intensely, so perfect thatsomething in you said you I
should ask more questions?
That I should ask more.
I want y'all to drop it, drop itin the chat what it is.

SPEAKER_05 (19:45):
Actually, we got uh we got Ron Frost, uh and he
says, My name is Ron Far King,and I have been love bomb.
Okay, so I'm waiting for drop iton uh in the chat and uh also uh
Nicole, Nicole B.
Marisi, yep, to the love bombingquestion.

(20:06):
So y'all drop it in the chat andlet's talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 (20:09):
All right, all right.
You know, for me, um honestly,and I'm gonna be honest, I I
really never paid attention tothe word love bomb until a few
years ago.
I really never paid attention toit, never paid attention to even
if everybody was doing it to me.
I didn't.

(20:29):
It was just like it went over myhead.
I think when I started takingthe the courses and the classes
for my um certification, and I'mnot gonna lie, is when I really
realized that it was the thing.
I did not realize it.
And then once I saw it, then Ijust saw it, you know, all over
the internet.
It was like, you know, that wasthe word.

(20:50):
That was the word of lovebombing.
Um, and as I continue to go on,and I can see, oh wow, even when
you and and Dr.
Pal Mike Mike and you'retalking, I'm like, wow, could
that be that love bombing?
And could that be?
But then Mike, Dr.
Pal Mike Mike said something,and I and I really want you to
be careful when we say thisabout you put them in a friend
zone.

(21:10):
I put most of my male friendsthat I feel that in the friend
zone because I don't want tohave relationships with them.
Does that make sense?
I I want to be just friends withthem, and that's it.
And I see in the chats that somepeople say, Well, they're there
until the guards down.
Yeah, they're there until youknow they're able to get get a

(21:33):
chance.
You know what I'm saying?
Um in part that's dishearteningto think that, but then it's
like, no, that that's not foreveryone.
You understand?

SPEAKER_06 (21:46):
But but you also have to look at the
psychological impact of this,right?
Like love bombing as a whole isit's a pattern, right?
It's a pattern, first andforemost, where someone actually
Overwhelms another person withexcessive affection, attention,
flattery, and grand gestures.
Things that feel romantic,right?

(22:09):
So we all want romance.
We all talk about romance.
And it's typically usually earlyin relationships.
And so it creates an artificialaccelerated sense of intimacy.
All of us want intimacy, but itstarts with romance.
And so just on the psychologicalaspect, on the receivering end,
the attachment and rewardsystems are flooded with that

(22:33):
dopamine, that rush.
I keep getting rewards, rewards,rewards, rewards.
And so your brain's like, Ican't get enough of this.
This is and so your nervoussystem creates a baseline that
is not real.
So that's why that whole feelingof once my guard is dropped, I'm
gonna get they're gonna go forit, is because you create a
baseline that was so high thatwhen the guard goes down, it's

(22:55):
easy to get over.
And then on the giver side, it'susually rooted in fear,
abandonment, and it's a drivingcompulsive reassurance seeking
through controlling closeness.
And so you we have to askourselves, are you enough when
you don't give to me?
Do you feel enough when youdon't give to that person?

(23:18):
Right?
Because that's that that's thefear that's working.
That isn't something that's likea targeted abuse.
Because then if that's atargeted abuse, then we're into
narcissism, and that's a wholeother that's a personality
disorder.
That's a whole otherconversation.
So we want to make sure that weunderstand that that love
bombing is care is a patternizedattachment style.
Yeah.
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (23:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I just wanted to makesure that we make sure we're
saying the right thing that we,you know, we use in these
platforms and we want to makesure we say the right thing in
the right word.
We we don't want to be up herejust saying any kind of be like,
oh wait, oh wait.

SPEAKER_06 (23:50):
We love we love the word narcissism, but we don't
want to we all it we all have weall have these traits, right?
Personal sort of traits, so it'slike I have it, you have it.
We we all have our own form ofit.
We just don't some express itbetter than others.
You know, gotta be careful.

SPEAKER_02 (24:07):
Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_05 (24:09):
And and don't take me wrong when I say in the
friend zone.
I mean, because some people willget in the friend zone and they
will stay in the friend zone.
But both people, the the man orthe woman put someone in the
friend zone, they will staythere and a great friendship
will come.
But lots, some a lot of time thefriend zones start with some
type of attraction or somethinglike that.

SPEAKER_06 (24:28):
Some type of attraction.
Yeah, you know, and I'm so gladyou said that because we also
have to understand that friendzoning is is not a bad thing.
No, also know that even when youput someone in a friend zone,
you also have to know that youalso have a power in that as
well, right?
How you maintenance therelationship will determine the

(24:49):
dynamic that's supposed to beexpressed.
Exactly.
So it becomes a response,emotional responsibility.

SPEAKER_03 (24:55):
Yeah.
That's what dog pie mic, but youjust can't be saying that.
Like you just can't be sayingthat.

SPEAKER_05 (25:06):
I don't say in all situations, but you know, he
made it so general.

SPEAKER_06 (25:12):
There's a reason why Tom and Jerry lasted so long on
cartoons.
The chase is the chase, andthat's very real.

SPEAKER_05 (25:20):
I'm sorry, but to quote one of our great black
leaders, Biz Marty, you say he'sjust a friend.

SPEAKER_06 (25:29):
Until that one night.

SPEAKER_05 (25:35):
That's a man stuff.
We saw about that's a man.
That's that man ego coming out.
See you.

SPEAKER_03 (25:41):
I'm trying to be, I'm trying to be such a lady
right now.
I really am.
I really am.

SPEAKER_06 (25:45):
Don't you fight my mic off this camera?
Don't you fight him?

SPEAKER_03 (25:49):
Look, I'm I'm just really holding in the south side
of Chicago, just holding themright now.

SPEAKER_05 (25:55):
Come from our later show, Nail Me After Dark.

SPEAKER_06 (25:58):
Right, right.
You're gonna have your faceblurred out.
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 (26:09):
Oh my goodness.
Let's go to the next segment.
All right, so this is probablyone of the most important
segments um that we're gonnatalk about is because this is
where we're really wanna gethonest with it.
Um, and not to beat ourselvesup, but one thing is that what I
loved about um our writer, umthe lady that wrote the letter,

(26:30):
and I don't want to, I'm gonnatry to make sure that I don't
say her name, is that um thathow honest that she was about
about writing the letter, buthonest about her part in it.
You know, because the thing isthat when we're doing something,
she took accountability for it.
And this part right here, whatwe're gonna talk about, is about

(26:54):
taking accountability, but notbeating yourself up about it.
The reason why we want to ummake sure that we acknowledge
about the accountability isbecause so we can break the
pattern that we're doing.
You understand what I'm saying?
So it's the pattern that werefuse to see.

(27:15):
So this is what she writes inthe letter.
She says, um, she says, um,healthy, healthy demands
unhealthy psychic psychicssimply cannot cater to.
Um, it's a retrospect.
I can also see my own faults inum in not properly registering

(27:38):
all the red flags I was seeing.
Um, I too referred to convincedand I lie to myself.
And I lie to myself.
So again, she has owned herpart.
And that is not a small thingbecause most people, when they
tell their story of being hurt,they only talk about what the

(28:01):
other person did to them.
That's it.
And that's valid.
But but when she she went a stepfurther and she looked at what
she chose to ignore, and that iswhat where the real freedom is,
is in that.
I think we talk about that a lotover there at the season of
self-love, is mirroring andlooking at and taking

(28:24):
accountability of what we do,you know, with ourselves and how
we allow that to affect ourdecisions and our choices, and
even how we feel aboutourselves.
And so going into this segmentright now, I want to be very
clear about something.
It's only your part, it's notsaying the same thing as blaming
yourself for something.

(28:44):
It's self-accountability, is notself-punishment.
That's what I want y'all tolearn.
I am not saying that deceptionwas your fault or her fault.
I'm saying that what patternsdid you bring into this
situation that made it easier tostay longer than you should
have?
That is what you have the powerto change.

(29:06):
So, and you knowing what's goingon, and you see all the red
flags and you see all thesethings happen, and you're just
seeing, sitting there, like,okay, I see this, but I'm gonna
keep going.
You know, what's the reason?
Are you these because you mightchange it or you might see
something different, or are youtrying to make sense of it?
Yeah, you're trying to makesense of it.

(29:27):
So, dog pound mic might.
Um, I'm gonna come to you first.
Yeah, um, real talk.
What is the most honest thingthat you can say about a time
that you ignored when you hadalready seen in a relationship
that something was wrong?
And what were you tellingyourself about that red flag or
about that situation that youignored?

SPEAKER_05 (29:49):
Well, I think it with me and with a lot of men,
you feel that you can makethings right.
You feel that you can fixthings.
So you may see a lot of redflags or see uh one or two red
flags in the situation, but youfeel that I can make this right.
I can fix this, I can, andthat's what that's what a lot of

(30:11):
men do because they feel likethey are in control of things.
They feel like, you know, uh,especially if you honest with
yourself.
And you know, I really like whatwhat uh what the writer said in
the letter is they tookownership uh of of what was
going on and they said that.
And when you when you go inself-love, that that we we hear

(30:34):
you talk about on seasonself-love every day, and once
you start creating that whereyou taking ownership, you are
you're apologizing for things inyour past, and you feel real
confident in what you do in anysituation, any relationship that
you go into.
Yeah, that confidence is builtup.

SPEAKER_03 (30:54):
Yeah, yeah.
You know, so so let me ask yousomething, Dr.
Will.
With you, what I just said, whatdo you feel about that in that
conversation?

SPEAKER_06 (31:03):
Yeah, I I think the hardest thing is to understand
that when we feel uncertain orinsecure about a rela a red
flag, our attachment stylepattern gets activated.
Right.
So just for just for time'ssake, you know, babies
co-regulate before theyself-regulate.

(31:26):
So we have to understand, youknow, you don't think about this
in the moment, but the way thatyou learn to co-regulate as a
baby is often how you willregulate with a red flag or even
rose-colored glasses.
So I don't know what I did as ababy.
I'd have to ask my mom and mydad, you know, what I did.
But what I can say is is thatmany of us that ignore the red

(31:50):
flags or we look over it,sometimes we will do that
intentionally to protect what wethink what we might benefit from
if we stay.
Because nobody gets into arelationship to leave, right?
And so we really have tounderstand that there is a
moment of of boundary,tolerance, patience, and

(32:13):
endurance that has to beconsidered when we are dealing
with the red flag.
Because we have to remember redflags are not standards.
Yeah, it's very different thing.
Red flags are not standards, redflags are are meant to either we
attach to them, we enable them,or we create the boundary needed
to protect ourselves from them.

SPEAKER_03 (32:36):
So let's do let's talk about this.
Let's talk about traumabounding.

SPEAKER_01 (32:40):
Oh, okay, all right.

SPEAKER_03 (32:42):
Let's talk about that because I think I think
that for even in in thatrelationship of her staying so
long and her seeing things inthere, you know, kind of could
have been, and I'm just justputting this out there, could
have been like maybe it's somethings that she recognized about
herself that made like, oh,well, maybe I should stay stay
in here longer because I'm nobetter.

(33:02):
So it's like, so then you see, Iguess the question is, is why do
smart or self-aware people stayin situations that long when
they know that it's not good forthem?
You know, it's like um, what'sthe brain actually doing?
So it's more of a like a traumabond thing that people have in
those relationships, if thatmakes sense.

SPEAKER_06 (33:22):
Yeah, it makes perfect perfect sense.
So, so let's I'm gonna put thisas the golden golden rule here.
So get your purpose paper andpurpose pen as you got it.
So sometimes we overstand tounderfeel.
We overstand to underfeel.
And this is an ode toself-concept.

(33:45):
Self-concept is who am I basedupon the way people treat me.
And a lot of times in thesemoments, before we get to a
trauma bond, we're actually inthe process of of codependency.
So your worth is based upontheir emotional distress.

(34:06):
If your worth is based uponsomeone's emotional distress,
you are more likely to have asacrificial love than an actual
stable love.
Right?
You know, endurance andsacrifice are not the same
because the difference is thetolerance, right?
So I think we just need toreally ground with that, and I

(34:28):
think that's that's one of thebiggest moments.
So I feel sorry that you knowher self-concept was challenged
in a way where the trauma bondcouldn't even trauma, maybe
started it, but the codependencyis what's keeping it alive.

SPEAKER_02 (34:43):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You have something to say, DocMommy Green?

SPEAKER_05 (34:49):
You know something.
I mean, with with the with theword trauma bond, you know,
first first thing come is traumaand toxic.
And when would a relationshipbecome real, become valid,
become love, you know, becauseit is so much being mixed up in
that in that you know, it is somuch being mixed up in it.

(35:12):
Can it can it ever get real?
Can it ever survive?

SPEAKER_06 (35:16):
Can love ever really can love ever really be real?
That's poetic.

SPEAKER_05 (35:20):
Yeah, no, you know, you you you can't you can't
start a relationship withtrauma.
No, you know, you have to startit with openness, you have to
start it with put everything onthe table, and this is me, and
the other person say this is me,these are my faults, these are
my faults, these are what Ienjoy, and and build from there.
But if you start from trauma andlove bombing and all that, it's

(35:44):
never gonna grow.

SPEAKER_03 (35:45):
But can we be honest?
Can we really be honest?
That's how most of therelationships do start off,
though.
Like, seriously, they start offlike that.
Yeah, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (35:56):
What's that phrase they always say?
Like, if they show you the firsttime, believe them.
But but my thing is when theyshow you the first time, it
doesn't feel that bad becauseit's new.

SPEAKER_02 (36:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (36:07):
You know, when when when when someone doesn't uh
like when you go to a restaurantand they're like, hey, you
didn't wash your hands.
Oh yeah, yeah, I forgot.
Are you okay with knowing thatthe person you're gonna be with
for the next 50 years is notgonna wash their hands?
Yeah.
Are you gonna say that out loudand be like, yeah, I can't be
with you because you don't washyour hands?
Right?
Or you wanna fix them by beinglike, hey, go wash your hands.

(36:30):
I need you to do that for me.

SPEAKER_01 (36:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (36:32):
And then they'd be like, okay, I can I can work on
that.
So then you stay with thembecause you tried to fix them,
or do you leave because theyjust didn't meet the make the
meet the standards?
Right?
Right.
Red flag and the standard.
What are we doing here?

SPEAKER_03 (36:44):
Right.
So it's like, so what do we doto break the break the cycle?
How do we change that?

SPEAKER_06 (36:50):
The simple phrase, um, you have to acknowledge the
difference to make thedifference.
You have to acknowledge I can'tif I can't acknowledge the
difference needed, what why arewe in a relationship?
Why why work with me?
Why work on each other?
Right?
Because we're supposed to workon each other in a relationship.
That's the whole point, right?
Right.
So if you can't acknowledge thedifference to make the

(37:12):
difference, then you know, thenyou just you're just creating a
trauma bond that's just going tobe considered reactive.
You just can be a reactor, youmean a reactive relationship
because you never create alanguage of safety.

SPEAKER_03 (37:26):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For the um the audience there,what is the red flag?
I'm I'm I'm still coming to thebecause I see them.
They over here talking and I'mloving it.

SPEAKER_06 (37:39):
You're going to I love it.
Keep talking.

SPEAKER_03 (37:42):
What is the red flag that you saw early in a
relationship that you you thatyou rationalize away?
That you say, oh, okay, justnothing like you know, and what
did you tell yourself to stay?
This is a safe place so you allcan be honest.
Again, what is the red flag thatyou saw early in a relationship
that you rationalize away?

(38:04):
And what did you tell yourselfto say?
What did you tell yourself tostay?
I see some people say I'mguilty.

SPEAKER_01 (38:15):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (38:16):
I see some folks in there say guilty, guilty.
Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_05 (38:26):
You know, something that that question right there
is, you know, what did you tellyourself to spend?
I think the thing that takesover all that is what did I tell
myself to strength?
It was the attraction, you know,because if if you meet this
beautiful, beautiful woman andyou enter, you groove and you

(38:46):
see something that may be aflaw, and then I'm be a man, I'm
dog pan.
Then you look at that ass.
But I can get over that if shedidn't go wash her hands, but
that dress is fitting, or I canget over that hand washing
stuff.

SPEAKER_03 (39:01):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 (39:02):
I'll wash the hands for you.

SPEAKER_05 (39:06):
I have some whites with me all the time.
That is the truth.

SPEAKER_06 (39:20):
That's uh I love it.
Oh man.
So so and also look in thechats.
Uh well said, well said,opposites attract.
Oh, that's a big one.
Oh, we just different.
You you hot and I'm cold.
We're gonna make steam.
Like, no, that's you didn'tknow.
You're not supposed to makesteam.

(39:40):
No.
Oh, oh, you Aries.
I'm a I'm a Cancerian.
We're we're gonna work out.
No, that's I was gonna makeboiling water.
We didn't want that, right?
Opposites don't attract.
That's not a thing.
That's a that that's anattachment issue.
That's a red flag.
Yeah, that's a red flag.

SPEAKER_03 (39:55):
That's interesting.
That's that's that'sinteresting.

SPEAKER_06 (39:59):
Oh, that was another comment here.
It said she cheated on her firstpartner, and then you overlooked
it, and you're like, oh yeah,well, you won't do that to me
because you're different.
Did the behavior change?
Did the lesson learn?
What was the problem?
What did they learn from that?
Right?
Oh, well, we're both divorced,so you know, we both understand
what divorce is like, so well,we'll get together because we

(40:20):
know what to do differently.
But did you learn the lesson inyour divorce?
Right.
To learn a lesson and to live alesson are two different
lifestyles.

SPEAKER_03 (40:27):
Two different things, two different things,
you know.
You what's that saying that youyou um you you lose them how you
get them?

SPEAKER_06 (40:35):
Oh yeah, them how you get them.

SPEAKER_03 (40:38):
So if you were in a if you you met a relationship,
um, met somebody that was in arelationship and you were the
person that they were cheatingwith on that person, and you
becoming in a relationship withthem, right?
You know, you know that theyhave they they have the
potential to cheat becauseyou've seen it, because you've
been the one who cheated withthem.

(40:59):
You you know what I'm saying?
And so you know that that's athat's a a great potential for
that.
So the way that you you getthem, um yeah, that's a big one.

SPEAKER_06 (41:08):
Yeah, you know, people and I and I wish that
people did couples therapy orpremarital relationship therapy
so much.
I really do because when I dowith my my clients, I'm very
hard on them intentionally.
But you have to, yeah, and andand I and I make sure I open up
every single door.
Normally I don't push as atherapist, but for that I do

(41:29):
with couples because what I'mnot trying to work on you, I'm
not trying to work on you, I'mtrying to work on this thing
called the relationship.
Yeah, and right now thisrelationship is not on solid
foundation.
And so when we're talking aboutfoundation, how many doors are
made when you make a foundationof a house?
There are no doors.
So that means that we have toopen up everything before you
say this is the person thatrepresents me.

(41:51):
Yeah, there's so much that hasto happen in that, and we we
don't take the accountability inthat process.

SPEAKER_03 (41:57):
No, that is so true.
Yeah, yeah, that is so true.
All right, so let's go to thenext one.
Let's talk about the patternbreaker.
All right.
So um, before I don't want toclose out tonight without giving
um something, and this is whereI'm about to get going to Dr.
Will's bag on this one, allright?
Because this conversation is notabout just processing the past,
what happened.

(42:18):
Um, and it's just um it's forprotecting the future or what
you know, the choices that we'regonna make towards the future.
So, Dr.
Will, from a clinicalstandpoint, what is one
practical tool that someone canuse right now to start
recognizing their own patterns?
Like what practical clinicalthat they can use right now?

SPEAKER_06 (42:40):
Yeah, so I would I would write out the last three
relationships that you've everhad in your life.
Write their names and write outwhy didn't it work?
What did they do?
What did I do?
What did they do?
What did I do?
What did they do?

(43:00):
What did I do?
Right?
And then ask yourself with whatI know now, if I went back into
that relationship, how would Ihave been different to save it?
And when you do that, see whattheme comes from all three of
those answers.

(43:20):
Is learning that your ability tomaintain a relationship might be
the very same reason why youmight be losing the relationship
at the same time.
How you get it is how you mightlose it, like you said.
So I think the first thing isreally understanding what is
your attachment adaptation.
How do you adapt torelationships?
How do you adapt torelationships?

(43:42):
For me, I learned that I'msomeone that I'm I'm a I'm a I'm
a dominant nurturer, which meansI'm gonna take care of
everything around you so I canhave your love.
But they may not have asked forall that.
I didn't consider what they mayor may not have wanted, so I had
to learn how to step back.
Back and ask for consent on howI interact, right?

(44:04):
That could have been that couldhave saved my other past three
relationships.
Yeah.
Right.
So it's important to reallyunderstand how what is your
attachment adaptation.
What is your attachmentadaptation?
How do you adapt in arelationship?

SPEAKER_03 (44:18):
Yeah.
You know, I love that.
And and and why I want topiggyback on that a little bit
too, because once um from myfirst marriage, and I remember
saying, you know, once I go intothis next relationship, whatever
it's going to look like, it hasto be totally different from
that.
You know what I mean?
Like I've had to learn somethingfrom this whole deal.
And I share with a lot, I sharea lot with my listeners,

(44:42):
especially on the season ofself-love, about giving my book,
the book of me, or who I am,knowing, you know, before.
But also there's there's um somequestions that we need to ask
that's called the patternbreaker that we need to ask them
in ourselves before we even getinto it.
So I like when you talk aboutthe three, you know, um writing

(45:03):
down what I did in thisrelationship, but because that I
I as you were saying, I wouldsay, yep, I did that.
I remember when I was goingthrough that the that breakup
and going, I was like, okay, howam I gonna make these next this
next relationship, whatever itbe with whoever's gonna be
different?
How am I gonna be different fromthis?
What did I how did I show up,you know, for for this one and

(45:25):
how I'm gonna show up for thenext one for myself first and
then for for that one?
But then we have to think aboutfor the questions that we have
for for them and what we lookat.
And it's like, does their doesthat person's behavior match the
words consistently over time?
Like, are you are you listeningto what they say and are they
really showing the actions ofwhat they're saying?

(45:46):
And not just in the beginning,but not when when they're trying
to impress you, but over thewhole time, is it is it
consistent in their character?
Exactly.
That's one of the questions thatyou have to ask.
And then next is if if I toldyou my most honest, loving
friend, everything about thissituation, what do I think that

(46:06):
she would say to me?
Because we often already knowthe answer.
So that's me like this.
So if I know that I can't dealwith this situation, and my
friend told me that, what wouldI tell my friend?
So that means you be your bestfriend and you give your best
friend advice, you're not gonnastay in that situation.

SPEAKER_01 (46:27):
Yes, yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_03 (46:29):
You know, so it's like be yourbest friend in that, you know,
be that best friend that's gonnalet you.
No, no, baby, that's not evenfor you.
Don't no, no, that's not it.
That's not true.

SPEAKER_06 (46:40):
I tell people to record their I tell people to
record their situationship on avideo, on an audio recorder, and
then listen back and thenrespond back to that per that
person that spoke that, and thenlisten to yourself.
A lot of times we made baddecisions because we never heard
our own voice.

SPEAKER_03 (46:56):
Yes, so true, so true.
And then the third one am I am Istaying because this is
genuinely good for me, orbecause I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of what leaving feelslike.
Fear is not the reason to staywhere you're someone's hurting
you, it's not so those are thethree questions that you can ask

(47:20):
yourself and be honest aboutyour answers, be honest about
your answers.
And the thing is that your bodyis gonna tell you, your body is
gonna tell you because italready knows.
So you have to be brave enoughto ask those questions.
To ask a question, stop out ofmy mind.
You got any last words?

SPEAKER_05 (47:38):
Well, you know, something, just even going back
to that, is the thing is, is yougotta be honest with yourself
and go look at past situationsand see if you the same person
that you were before in this newsituation.
And you just gotta be honestwith yourself because you know,
man, you can lie to everybodyanytime you want all day long.

(47:59):
But if you sit up there lying toyourself, yes, uh, about who you
are and what your attention are,then things ain't gonna never
work out.
And if if you are being honestwith yourself, be yourself and
and be honest and do what youdo, and but let your partner
know this is me, that this istotally me, and and that's what

(48:19):
you move from.
That's what you moved from.

SPEAKER_02 (48:22):
Yeah, yeah.
Dr.
Will, did you have any lastminute um words to say?

SPEAKER_06 (48:27):
I I think I think Doc Pal Mike Mike really the
sentiment is so real, and Idon't think a lot of people have
worked up the courage to feelstrong enough to be vulnerable,
yeah, in who they no longer arefor people.
And you gotta start at thatbaseline.
If that's where you gotta startat, you have to call yourself

(48:49):
out.
Like, hey, I'm not strong enoughto leave you.
Yeah, I'm not strong enough toleave.
You tell somebody, let peoplelet somebody know that you're
not strong enough to leave.
Because that's the first part isadmitting and acknowledging.
Remember, acknowledge thedifference to make the
difference.
And so I think the first thingis just really calling yourself
out because you can't releasethe potential unless you

(49:10):
acknowledge what it's lockingyou.

SPEAKER_02 (49:12):
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (49:15):
That's you know, thank you for that, Dr.
Wood.
That is that is so true.
You know, I'm gonna go over hereto the because they they really
have some nice littleconversations over here before
we leave out, um, over here atthe chat.
Um, so we can you know scroll onup some.

SPEAKER_06 (49:32):
Um I appreciate Nicole.

SPEAKER_05 (49:34):
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Well, she said for me, I didn'twant to go through the
acceptance of my past withanother person.
At least I knew his poison, andhe seemed to be he seemed to
accept mine until he got mad,and then my past will will be
thrown up.

SPEAKER_06 (49:54):
Yeah, yeah, that's a hard one.
Yeah, that's a lot likebetrayal.

SPEAKER_03 (50:01):
Yeah, it is, it is.
Um wow, that's unfortunate.
Yeah, it is.
Um, and you know, when we caneasily say that that that right
there, that is that's the redflag, and that's the time to
leave, you know.
Um, because never should yourpast be brought up in a
situation, especially whensomeone sees that you have

(50:24):
changed or um you're doingbetter in life.
You you know what I mean?
Um, that person is trulypurposely trying to hurt you.
Um wow, that's deep.
Yeah, you move it up, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (50:39):
Yep, moving up, yeah.
Yeah, Nicole, been on all night.

SPEAKER_03 (50:46):
Yeah, Nicole, Nicole's a new one here.
Nicola, welcome, Nicole.
You a new one, baby.
She's doing good stuff.

SPEAKER_06 (50:52):
She's right.

SPEAKER_03 (50:54):
Came in banging, came in banging.
All right, y'all.
I know we started off a littlerocky here, but you know what?
We are at the end of the show.
Um, and here's what I want y'allto do, take home with y'all
tonight.
Seeing red flags does not makeyou stupid.
It don't.
It don't.
Staying in them withoutexamining them, why it doesn't

(51:17):
make it.
The thing is, is that you haveto just know where to work it.
And what I mean, work on it,work on you.
I love what Dr.
Will and Dog Power Mike Mikesaid about being honest about
where you are in your life orwhere where you are as you are
as a person, um, andunderstanding what your next
moves is for you.

(51:38):
Also, love bombing is not love.
Love bombing is not love, it'sjust a down payment, baby.
It's a down payment on a debtthat you will eventually be
asked to pay.
So you cannot heal a pattern ifyou're not willing to look at
it.
At least look at it, at least behonest.

(51:58):
But seeing it even now, evenlate, even years later, is still
the beginning of freedom.
So even if you see it now, it'seven if you're still in that
relationship and you seen ityesterday, red flag, and you
found us right now and say,Okay, man, it's a sign.
Or get ready to leave, orrecognize, or acknowledge, at

(52:21):
least acknowledge, you know,because that's what our writer
did.
Yeah, she finally owned herpart, she understood.
She did not punish herself, sheunderstood herself.
So maybe that's what you need todo first, is understand
yourself.
That's the root the core of whatself-love is.

(52:43):
It's understanding yourself soyou don't make those choices
over and over again.
So you can understand what thosepatterns look like.
What you understand is for you.

SPEAKER_06 (52:55):
Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_03 (52:56):
Yeah.
So then when you do start tomake those powerful moves, you
can now make them more on yourown healing journey, on what you
own.
And then you just leave the restto go.
All right.
All right, my beautiful people.
So y'all can join us nextThursday.

(53:16):
We on week three of Love, Lost,and Reclaim.
And next week is about desireafter darkness, reclaiming your
body, your want in your heart.
This is where she spent fiveyears in silence after all of
this.
Five years.
And then something small crackedthe door open.
And we're going to talk aboutwhat that means for your body,

(53:37):
for your heart, and your future.
And you don't want to miss it.
When I tell you that I went backand forth with this young lady
for a couple of um, a couple oftimes back and forth, and it is
amazing.
And I um I haven't talked to herthis week, so I don't know if
she looked um looked at uh lastweek's show or listened to last
week's show because I told youshe's out of the country.
Um, but um it's the the letteris good.

(54:00):
I mean, it's an amazing, it'slike I said, it was like uh two
or three correspondent lettersback and forth that we had, and
they were long, and you know,and she she shared a lot, she
shared a lot, and um we wereable to, you know, have this
great conversation.
And I just said, you know, wedefinitely have to share this.
It was so so much meat, and Ihate to say that, but it was so

(54:23):
much meat in this.
There was so much with betrayal,with love, with just even a
betrayal, a feel of betrayal ofyourself in it that deal with a
lot of mental, you know, aspectof it, just the full the full
nine of it.
So, you know, it was it was itwas pretty, you know, deep.
Yeah, pretty deep, pretty deep.

(54:44):
So before I close this off, doy'all have any last words?

SPEAKER_06 (54:49):
No, be kind to yourself and heal always.

SPEAKER_03 (54:54):
Oh, I missed that.

SPEAKER_05 (55:02):
Yeah, my last word, just uh everybody be careful out
there and just um just justlove, just just try to love who
you love because in allsituations, all relationship,
nothing is gonna start offperfect, right?
You know, but honesty and trustand building and communication
will make things trusting.
And the longer you go, the moretime you spend together, the

(55:25):
more things that reveal if thatlove is there, then it can all
work out for the best.

SPEAKER_03 (55:30):
Yeah, it can.
It can.

unknown (55:32):
Yeah, it can.
It can.

SPEAKER_03 (55:34):
You know, I want to I want to say thank you again to
um our uh BTG crew there and ournew ones that came in too.
Um, you guys are doing a lot oftalking and I love it.
I love the interaction.
I love it all.
But also I want you to rememberthat we do uh we do have both
causes um this year this yearfor um for the love and mental
health.
We have Maverick, who wasintroduced to us through um Sam,

(55:57):
who is our guest for the lastshow, but also for um our mental
health and love and health umthing that we have um there in
the campaign for there andDollar Pal Mike Mike is putting
it up right now.
Um and so just support that.
So every every dime, everypenny, it goes directly to that

(56:17):
mental health um link is in theshow right now, you know,
because it's about supportingit.
Um so even if you can't give, atleast share the link.
Share the link.
And then for Maverick, littleMaverick, he's a boy who is
fighting um a childhood cancer.
Our guest again, Sam, um, hebrought him to attention when I
interviewed him a few weeks ago.

(56:39):
And he's been raising awarenessfor it, but as well as he's been
um raising funds throughout hisum his national tour.
As he's on tour, he's raisingmoney for it as well.
Um, and I promise him that wewill keep talking about um
Maverick and we'll put hisGoFundMe link up, is in our show
notes, and it's right here,DowPow Mike, my so please, if
you can't give and if you cannotgive, please share the link.

(57:02):
Um, that little boy deserves tofeel this community behind him.
All right.
So again, both links are in thenotes.
Well, this is how we close outthis month.
We close it out with action andnot just words, my beautiful
people.
So um look, we are we we we atthe end.

SPEAKER_05 (57:22):
A rocky beginning, but we at the end.

SPEAKER_03 (57:24):
We at the end.
Dr.
Willin is always good, always,always good.
So I see you next week, right?

SPEAKER_06 (57:32):
Yep, I'll be there.

SPEAKER_03 (57:34):
Right, right.
Dog how Mike Mike, I'll see younext week.
I'm here.
All right, my beautiful people.
If you got any, if you need anylove, um, relationship, sex
advice, you know, you can emailme at info at axnaomi.com and
you can also visit axnaomi.comand that's Naomi spelled with
nyo- and as I always say, begood to one another in

(57:55):
yourselves and always keep itsexy.
Have an amazing, an amazingnight.
Have a good one.

SPEAKER_04 (58:02):
Hey, InstaGuys Naomi Banks, and I hope you enjoyed
that last episode of Axe NaomiBridging the Gap.
And if you did, please like,subscribe, press that
notification button, as well ascomment.
I'll see you next week.
Keep it sexy.

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