Sam Ridley III — The Complete Unedited Interview (Ask Nyomi: Bridging the Gap) - Ask Nyomi " Bridging The Gap" Podcast

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SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
Welcome to a podcast like no other.
Get ready for insightfulconversations, diverse
perspectives, and a touch ofinspiration.
This is Ask Naomi, which is theGap Podcast.
Join your host, the dynamicNaomi Bank, as she delves into
the heart of various topics witha refreshing blint of curiosity
and wisdom.
Each week, Naomi is joined byspecial guests to bring the

(00:37):
unique stories and expertise tothe table.
It's a journey of discovery andlearning the world.
And let's not forget about theone only dog found by my adding
its flavor earth.
Together, stop provokingdiscussions and moments of
laughter and joy.
That's Naomi.
Bridging the Gap Podcast offersa space for great topics and

(01:00):
amazing guests.
So, watch your calendars, setyour reminders, and prepare to
be entertained in delightfully.
Join Naomi Banks at Dog PoundMike Weekly for an unforgettable
podcast experience.
Get ready to bridge the gap,expand your horizon, and immerse
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Subscribe now and stay tuned fora podcast journey like no other.

SPEAKER_04 (01:27):
Damn, baby! I am it's been a minute.
Oh man, it's a minute.
No, they don't know.
Well, you know, first of all,let's let's take them back
because when we first met, wemet many, many years ago back at

(01:49):
AVN weekend.
You had a show.

SPEAKER_02 (01:52):
I didn't know it was AVN.

SPEAKER_04 (01:55):
Right.
It was AVN show.
You had a show off strip, and amutual friend of ours, a mutual
friend of ours, had took me tohis show.
And um, you had did your showeverything.
And I don't know, do youremember that night?
Do you remember anything of thatnight?
Can you tell your version?

SPEAKER_02 (02:11):
She just asked me if I remember meeting Naomi Banks.
That's what she just asked me,y'all.
That's what that's the questionthat was just posed to Sam
Ridley.
Hold up, y'all.
Okay, so I've been doing comedyfor 15 years, um, 20 years
retired military.
And uh this was like I would sayearly in my comedy career, like

(02:33):
six years in or so, that I cameout there for AVNs, just a guy's
trip with my homeboys, and I hada chef, had no idea AVN was
going on.
Let me explain to y'all thepsychology of what happens when
you meet somebody you grew upwatching.
So we go to get fly for thenight, get ready to go to the
club and stuff.
And shout out Dana, that's ourfriend that introduced us.

(02:56):
She uh was like, you know, wejust gonna come up there to the
room.
I didn't know you was gonna besitting in my hotel room.
Okay, so what do you what doesyour brain do when somebody that
you only seen on screens pop upin your hotel room?
You know what it does, fellas?
You become a perfect gentleman.

(03:16):
All them little nasty thoughtsyou thought you'd have had in
your head.
Boy, if I ever got a little man,I was like, would you are you
comfortable?
Would you like a towel?
Like, I became Samuel real fastwhen she popped up in my room.
It's not the brain thing thatyou think is gonna happen,
y'all.
It's not like me and her beenfriends so long, and I had to
explain this to a home boardmind, and I'm gonna let you go.

(03:39):
Um, she was like, What's itlike?
You know what I'm saying?
Because that's got to be like alittle weird.
You know, you grew up watchingher.
I was like, no, after you hearone of your favorites talk about
menopause, you just friends.
Um, yeah, that's just notsomething you expect to hear
from from you know a differentera.
But what it does is puteverybody's life into a

(03:59):
perspective.
Like, you know, that's achapter, it's not the whole of
anybody, and it makes youhumanize the job that you used
to grow up watching.
So I appreciate it.
I appreciate it.
It gave me a lot of insight, itreally did.

SPEAKER_04 (04:12):
Yeah, yeah.
And you know, if we we had somuch fun that night, we had so
much fun.
I thought you were amazing.
You did your show, it wasamazing.
Everything that night wasincredible, and so then let's
fast forward.
Then some years went on, andthen I had my own radio show, my
own radio station, ChocolateRadio.
And so I was like, damn, look,dude, you need to come up here
and you need to bless me righthere on the station.

(04:35):
And then you came in and youblessed us there.
So then we're in your com um inyour comedy life.
What season were you in in thatmoment?

SPEAKER_02 (04:46):
When we did your show back then, and I remember
that.
Like when I see it pop up, thatwas one of my first Spotify
things because I have a podcastnow, but at the time I hadn't
really been doing a lot of radiooutside of what I was doing
before, you know.
Um, it um, I mean, I was excitedto work with you again, you
know.
Like we had talked, and it wasfor you to come to my comedy

(05:07):
show and become a fan, you knowwhat I mean, is it that's
everything.
That's it, that's what we dothis for, especially now, and
we'll get to that.
But um after we did that radioshow, it was like, man, you
know, I really hope we get towork together again.
And I'm glad that anotheropportunity came up.
At the time, the season I was inwas trying to figure out exactly

(05:28):
what I needed comedy to mean forme.

SPEAKER_05 (05:30):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (05:31):
And I feel like I just figured that out in the
last year.
The last year.

SPEAKER_04 (05:40):
Yeah, yeah.
You know, the the the crazything about is that, you know,
it's been a minute since we wetalked, and I know we lost, you
know, we lost, you know, contactwith one another.
I think the last time we talked,we were in California, you know,
we lived in um Santa Clarita inValencia area, and you was in
Lancaster area, and now I'm inVegas.
Um, and I remember when you hitme up, you know, you hit me up

(06:02):
on the season of self-love.
And you know, the last thing Iknow about you is comedy, you
know, laughing, comedy, jokingand stuff like that.
And so I'm like, right, Sam'snot you need to stop playing
over here on my thing.
And the reason why is becausepeople look at me one certain
way and they can't look at me inanother way.
And even though we are friendsand you have seen me in, you

(06:24):
know, in another version, stillpeople, you know, person, still
me speaking about spirituality,me speaking of self-love in such
a serious tone or healing andmatter, you know, people don't
see, and and I I want to behonest when I say this, I
didn't, I I only saw you one oneway as well, only comments.

(06:45):
See, that's a different wayeither.
And so instead of me justsitting in and being like, hold
on, go see what this brothertalking about because you you
you you being you're doing thesame thing that people do to
you, you doing to him.
You're not really needing uh ahelping hand or something, go

(07:07):
out and see what he's talkingabout, you know, you know what
I'm saying?
And so when you did do that, youknow, uh, I was like, okay, let
me see what he's talking about.
But then I I asked, I said, hey,I said, you know, you tap me
over here on here.
I said, you know, is it are youcoming over here to promote, or
is it something that you goingon?
You said, Well, I'm always, youknow, down to promote, but no,

(07:28):
I've been through something andI I want to share.
And, you know, I and I'm tryingto do some things, you know,
whatever, you know, and I wantto make sure that the listeners
know just through ourconversation that we had on the
phone, and even what you sharewith me, I think that is so
courageous of you, not only as ablack man, but as someone that I

(07:52):
know who has stood on the frontlines for our country, to be
able to say, you know, I needhelp.
But not only that, but it's okayto say I need help, it's okay to
be vulnerable, it's okay to gothrough the books to be able to
do that.
But not only that, but using youthe tools that you learned in

(08:15):
laughter to heal through that.
That's what I love about it all,but it also made me check
myself.
You you understand what I'msaying?
And you ain't even said a word,you just typed a few things and
allow me to look at myself inthe mirror, just looking at you
as a reflection.
Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 (08:33):
That's beautiful.
Nobody's ever flipped it on melike that.
You know what I mean?
Because what I'm doing is a jobwhere, you know, like you said,
you see it in a light, you seeme in one specific fashion, and
that's about as deep as mostcomedians choose to go.

SPEAKER_06 (08:51):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (08:52):
I say that as one that did it myself.
I think last time we talked, Ididn't have a towel on my head
all the time either.
Uh-huh.
See?
Um, when I reached out to youand I saw that you were doing,
you know, life coaching andthings of this nature, the same
questions that you're talkingabout got posed to me.
Close friends of mine and myfollowers was like, Naomi Banks,

(09:13):
y'all doing wellness, likemental health wellness.
You know, and then of course thejokes followed on, like, oh, I
know how she can help my mentalhealth, and you know, the dudes
start doing all of that sort ofthing.
And I had this to be, no, no,no.
This is what we're doing.
Period.
You know, and and I know why,going back to what you just
said, that they would look atyou, look at me, and go, y'all

(09:36):
two's careers don't match.

SPEAKER_04 (09:38):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (09:39):
Yeah, I know people was like, You finna get no.
I was like, man, she's goingthrough menopause.
Anyway, um, look, no, we talkabout mental health.
Um, so in the years that that wewe split, uh hadn't talked for a
while, um, I got out of themilitary and I started working a
civilian job on base over here.

(10:01):
And I'ma try and put this awaypeople can understand it.
You don't know when you startgoing through something.
And I say that as a person hereon a mental health show that
didn't believe in mental healthat the time.
Okay.
Um, I was bred in the military,I was raised a black man with

(10:21):
the, you know, ain't nobodygonna give you nothing.
You better get up and figure itout.
Ain't nobody got time for youcrying, ain't nobody got time
for that.
Like, get up, it push.
And I think a lot of black menare, a lot of men are are put
into that where it's just like,don't nobody care how you feel,
you gotta get it done.
You know?

(10:42):
Um, I'm I'm heading to work oneday, and um, it's like five in
the morning.
That was when I had to get up.
And I remember getting up in apanic because I was already
late, and I jumped in my car,and I was driving my 30 minutes
to work.
I was low on fuel, you know, lowon gas.
I ain't got time to stop.
And I got halfway to work andthen I blinked, and I hadn't

(11:03):
moved anywhere.
I was still in my house.
All of that happened in my head,and I but I saw it all.
I was still in my car with myhands on the steering wheel and
I was sweating like crazy.
I had a dissociative panicattack and didn't know it.
And so I went to work becausenow I'm panicked and I'm
military, and like I just said,we just keep pushing, you know,

(11:26):
we just go.
So I go in, I do my job, and Ijust felt weird.
That's the only way I coulddescribe it.
So I go to my boss who was onthe phone and didn't give a
damn, and I was like, I need togo to a doctor.
I don't know what's wrong withme, but I need to go.
And he just kind of waved itoff, like, all right, you know,
do what you gotta do, put yourpaperwork in.
And I went in and he told methat I wasn't well, and um, you

(11:48):
told me to get therapy and likegot me in a program and things.
I never went back to that job.
I spent through about a year anda half fighting them on my
mental health, telling them thatit stemmed from work, and that's
what my doctor said, and that'swhat my therapist said.
Right.
And they basically told me thateither I was lying or it didn't

(12:09):
have nothing to do with them.
So I ended up getting put outwith no benefits, no retirement.
Um, because they basicallydidn't have a system in place to
help people with mental healthissues.
The military's built that way.
Um, and I fought it for as longas I could, but it took a toll
on me.
Um, they started me onmedication that made me sweat

(12:30):
all the time, and I was stilldoing comedy, you know?

SPEAKER_04 (12:32):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (12:33):
Uh I had an opportunity to do a big show
down in LA with Seinfeld andRyan Davis.
Um, I think Matt Reif was onthat show.
So these are people that, youknow, like you don't want to
look crazy.
But I was down there, and thisis before I got a towel.
Like my towel got my name on itnow.
I just had a regular towel fromthe house because I was sweat
from the medication.

(12:53):
I went down there and I had agreat show.
But when I finished, everybodywas like, it wasn't who was that
black dude with the Kangoole onhis head?
Who was that?
Everybody remembered the towel.
And since I needed one anyway, Iput my logo on it.
And whenever I'm on stage andsomebody asks, I let them know,
oh, it's about mental healthawareness.
I want y'all to know to takecare of your brain.
I didn't for too long, and itcost me a lot, but I learned a

(13:15):
lot about myself.
And I'm I'm very adamant aboutit being a part of my set in my
comedy.
It it literally weaves youcracking up laughing to empathy
to understanding back tocracking up laughing.
And that's what I've tried tocultivate as a mental health
show.

SPEAKER_04 (13:31):
Yeah, yeah.
You know, first of all, thankyou for for sharing that part of
you right there.
And I know when you had reachedout, when you had reached out
in, you know, over there at theseason of self love, what was
that you truly wanted to sharewith me?
You know, when we had that phonecall, what is it that your
message that you want to share?
Because you did say somethingabout, you know, um the tours

(13:54):
that you do.
You know, you do these toursevery year, you and your
partner, you do this tour everyyear.
What is it the one thing thatyou want um your message to be
known outside, you know, knownout in the world?

SPEAKER_02 (14:07):
Well, for one, um, laughters for everybody.
We live in a highly divisiveseason of America right now, you
know.
Um, and I'm not trying to getpolitical, but what I mean is
everybody is looking to dislikethe other person, find something
wrong.
And I feel like we can changethat.
Um, I'm on the road, I'm goingback on tour.

(14:28):
I'm going out there to get apiece of it because we are
raising money for a young mannamed Maverick.
Uh, he's he's he's a young,young small child, you know, and
he's going through it withcancer.
And we're gonna be raising moneyfor him.
I raise money for a veteransuicide awareness project.
Um, I've been there myself.
And if you're a veteran outthere and is thinking of

(14:50):
yourself, or even a person andis like, I would never hurt
myself, I pray that you stay inthat mindset and never have to
experience it.
That's the best thing I couldtell you, you know.
Like if you hear somebody saythat, please don't look at them
with a oh, you weak.
You don't know what they wentthrough to have to end up in
their headspace.
Yeah, you know, yeah, so just begood to each other.
Y'all got to be good to eachother, man.

(15:12):
And it seems so easy or so easyto miss.

SPEAKER_04 (15:15):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (15:16):
So easy to miss.

SPEAKER_04 (15:17):
Yeah.
You know, and that's one thingI've always I always close out
my shows like that, even myposters, be good to one another
in yourselves.
Because that I think that's themost easiest thing to do is to
be good to one another.
I mean, you you have no choice.
But what I want to do is is thateven the listeners right now,
you know, we we pre-recordedthis because, like Sam is will

(15:39):
be on the roll while we're doingthis this month, and I'm glad
they dedicate this time for us.
But we will be putting up thelinks.
So I want to make sure that yougive me the links before this
all, and we'll be putting upduring the show, you know.
Um, so BTG crew, if you guys arelistening right now, and we'll
be talking about it during thelive as well, to put those links
up for Maverick and for uh andfor your foundation too.

(16:01):
Um you know, so we can, youknow, help somewhere somehow in
it.
Um, but we're gonna talk aboutwe're gonna talk a lot more
about you know that, you know,that foundation and what you got
going on because I I know righthere this ain't nothing but
alignment.
This ain't nothing but alignmentright here.
This is alignment right here.

(16:22):
So me talking to you right now,I'm probably like 36 hours I
haven't eaten.
So I've been fasting for thepast 30 years on spiritual.
You okay?
Oh, I'm good.
I'm I'm clear clear, clarity, mybrother.

SPEAKER_02 (16:36):
Your stomach got to be growling.
It got to be growling.

SPEAKER_04 (16:39):
It actually is not.
Actually, it is it is not.
I'm I'm good right now.
Um I am so clear right now thatI'm understanding everything
that's coming right now.
Um I truly am, and it's it's anamazing feeling.
It is, and it's so good to seeyou, my brother.
When I say that, I'm I'm glad tosee you, I am.

(17:00):
Just knowing the conversationthat we had a few weeks ago, um,
just hearing you talk right nowand feeling you yes.
I even got the videos that youhad um sent me um a few days
ago, and this one particular umvideo that you had sent me, um,
that you actually met yourtherapist um for the first time

(17:26):
while you were on on the stage,you know.
Dr.
Can you bring that up?
Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 (17:35):
I wanted to do Visalia specifically.
Y'all are seeing something thatum I was this is the first show
I've been nervous at in a veryfucking long time.
Very long time because mytherapist is here, and I'd never
met her in person beforetonight.
Okay, so I want to say on stage,this woman saved my life, and I
love you.
I love you so much.

SPEAKER_01 (18:00):
Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 (18:04):
You know, first of all, thank you.
Thank you, thank you for sharingthat.
But when I saw that, I ain'teven gonna lie, I was I cried.
I I cried so much when I sawthat because I was like, God,
damn, like girl, I'm doing I'mbutterflying right now.

SPEAKER_02 (18:23):
I feel it all over again.
Um, so in the past, uh comedyfor me has been very, you know,
you get in where you can get in.
Um, I'm being very intentionalwith my time this year.

SPEAKER_04 (18:35):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (18:36):
The the tour that I'm on now, um when Jake books,
he booked every small white townin America.
Yeah, you know, I made sure thatwhat's happening with this one
as we raise money, the places Ibook are important to me.
I booked Visalia, California,specifically because I knew
that's where my therapist wasfrom, and I was hoping she'd
have the opportunity to bethere.

(18:58):
And she did.
So it went off the way that Ihoped for, you know.
Um, and then my buddy wasfilming it, and that wasn't a
tape I expected to have.
You know, so it's a beautifulmoment I got to capture.
Uh, I've been talking to mytherapist for five years,
telehealth, when I started goingthrough it with my base job, and
I never thought I'd get to seeher in person.

(19:19):
That was such a magical moment,you know.
Like I never thought I'd get tohug the woman that talked me off
the ledge.
You know, the old man.
That that was that one meanteverything.
And that's what I'm doing forthe rest of them.
I'm doing Woodbridge, Virginia,because my family is there.
I'm doing Minnesota because theman that helped me with my uh VA
benefits is there.

(19:39):
Like, it's so intentional withhow I'm making people laugh this
year.

SPEAKER_04 (19:43):
You know, I love that.
That that's what we have tolearn is to stop just doing and
be intentional in what and howwe're doing it now.
And I do.
I I I love that for you.
I I I truly do.
Um and it's a great, it's agreat space to witness it.
You know, there was anothervideo that you you didn't send

(20:06):
me, but I went tracing through Idon't even have it here.
Um I don't even have it here,but I went tracing through um
your your video archives, andthere was a um, it was like a
four-part video.
And why I'm asking this becauseI know sometimes uh you share
with me on the phone, let me goback.
You share with me on the phonehow you have to go into these

(20:26):
white um towns, these whitecities as a black man, being a
representative of black peopleat times, you know.
And I know you and your partner,um, you guys went in there, and
when I mean partner, not partneror lover, talking about partner.

SPEAKER_02 (20:40):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We got to clarify, yeah, yeah,yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (20:42):
We have to clarify that.
Um, they go in and you know,they they do the tour, but this
one particular the the city wasgreat to you, but the owner, she
wasn't.
How do you um especially howsociety in the the world culture
is right now, how um racially umhow can I say the word?

(21:05):
You know, I got brain fog rightnow.

SPEAKER_02 (21:07):
Uh it's it's it's it's racially hot.
I don't even know a good wordfor it, it's just hot, you know.

SPEAKER_03 (21:13):
How do you deal with that mentally going into these
spaces?

SPEAKER_02 (21:20):
It's taxing, I will tell you honestly.
And um, I'm also not sayinganything I haven't said to Jake
directly, okay?
Please look him up.
The the the lone jester ofcomedy, Jake Daniels.
Um, he does magic and comedy,and yeah, he does a lot of
small, like population 2,000towns, and they typically are

(21:41):
white, right?
So from the business side ofcomedy, people go, you doing,
you know, they got their jokes,you're doing the green book
tour, nigga.
Like, you know, they'll saythings like that to me.
And I'm like, you don't don't dothat.
Don't do that.
You know, like we're we're ablack and a white man trying to
make people laugh.
Yeah, that's it.
You know, and if you try toseparate, That's when it becomes

(22:01):
divisive.
Yes, there's a such thing as ablack room.
You know, you've seen Def Jamversus, I don't know, Jeff
Foxworthy.
It's not the same animal.
But laughter is laughter ifyou're trying to make everybody
laugh.

SPEAKER_05 (22:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (22:14):
Going into these markets that are predominantly
Caucasian, I've told Jake this,I said, it's taxing on the black
soul.
That's how I put it to him.
I said it's taxing on the blacksoul.
He said, How so?
I said, I ain't seen a blackperson in three days.
And I know that probably soundthat don't sound like a lot to
somebody that ain't accustomedto that, you know.

(22:37):
But when you don't see yourselfin any form of life for a little
bit, you just start to feel away.
So thank God for therapy becauseI got the tools, you know.
I got some tools to kind of totemper myself and go, it's okay.
Plus being in the military, youget used to just being in a crap
place for a while, you know.
Um, so to to what you said aboutthe bad show.

(23:01):
I've been doing this for 15years.
You ain't seen no more of themup there, did you?
Uh you ain't seen no more.
It was just the one show.
I never talked, never talked badabout a place before.
Um, the people were beautiful,like I said, the owner was so
nasty.
And if you saw in the video, shewas so nasty.
And that was when I learned thedifference between how white

(23:23):
people and black people see racein America.
What happened in that moment wasuh me and my partner, we're
going through it.
She's telling us, you know, uh,for those of you who didn't see
the video, like we got there, wewere supposed to stay at this
spot that ended up beingflooded, and it was attached to
the bar, and we're in the middleof nowhere, so there's nowhere
else for us to stay.

(23:43):
And she basically was like,Well, I don't know what to tell
y'all.
Good luck finding somewhere tostay.
And it was like, What?
So she offered us to go wash upat her hog barn where she cleans
her pigs, right?
Take a shower and change wherethe pigs do it.
And I was like, No, I'm cool,because I felt like I was being
degraded at that point, right?

(24:03):
Um, my partner was like, no,this is just a road.
This is how it goes.
I was like, we being treatedaway, bruh.
And I don't I think that this isone of them little racial gaps
that not say anything againsthim, he doesn't understand
because he hasn't lived in blackskin to have to feel the
microaggressions that wetypically do.

SPEAKER_05 (24:21):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (24:22):
Um, so yeah, like that was that was the first time
I ever felt compelled to make avideo about a bad show
experience.
Because uh, to your point, Igotta protect other black people
that come in these places.
And I also have to to let peopleknow, like, hey, you know, it's
okay out here, but like some ofthese people you do have to
watch out for and you never knowwhat you're gonna run into.

(24:44):
I guess that's life though.

SPEAKER_04 (24:46):
Yeah.
Wow.
So when you are crafting, whenyou are crafting a bit, when you
are when you're actually tryingto um, what are you actually
trying to do for the person inthe audience?
Like, how are you, you know, um,is it for entertainment, is it
for permission, recognition?
How are you defining, how do youdefine your comedy?

(25:07):
Um yeah, how do you define yourcomedy?

SPEAKER_02 (25:12):
Uh-huh.
I got this one for you.
Okay.
Um, in your old career field,right?
Every single one of you had aspecific message in your in your
work.
Like, I feel like if I waslooking for for you or a lacey
deval or something, all of youhave a different style of what
you're presenting on stage.

(25:33):
You feel me?
The parallel I'm trying to make.
So for me, um, I see a lot ofcomedy.
I see a whole lot of comedy.
And what happens is a lot ofcomics don't have a point of
view that makes me go, I want tocome back to see their point of
view in their lane.

(25:54):
What style are they doing?
You had an undeniable legendarystyle, and that's what people
were gravitated towards.
If you don't have that, it'sreal hard to do.
So for me up on stage, I needthem to understand a little bit
about me because otherwise yougo home and be like, I heard a
bunch of funny stuff.
That's it.
I went home and I heard a bunchof funny stuff, but I don't know

(26:16):
them at all.

SPEAKER_04 (26:17):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (26:18):
Once I feel like I can like see into you a little
bit, I'm a fan.
So I try to build that.

SPEAKER_04 (26:24):
Okay.
All right.

SPEAKER_02 (26:24):
I don't expect them to follow me if I don't let them
in.

SPEAKER_04 (26:27):
Right.
So you kind of give them anexperience.

SPEAKER_02 (26:30):
Yes.
We you gotta know how I feltabout whatever it is.
If not, then I'm just tellingyou dick jokes, and that's
trash.
You know, that's trash.

SPEAKER_04 (26:43):
Right.
No, no, no pun intended.
No, no, no, pun intended.

SPEAKER_02 (26:46):
Yeah, you know, because I got mental health
stuff in there now.
Like, I make sure that like theyhear about the things that I've
gone through mentally.
Um, I got in a bad car accidentin November, and uh that is what
made me go, oh, okay, I need totell my real story and not just
sling jokes.
It changed my whole set.
My whole set.

SPEAKER_04 (27:06):
Right.
Okay, so let's let's let's moveon just a little bit, a little
bit more.
So your your podcast, um,illegal opinions, um, for people
who uh who do not like podcasts,where uh well, let me see
because I'm looking at thesequestions right now.
Um, where nothing is taboo andeverything is real and unedited,

(27:27):
how do you decide what is okayto say out loud and what crosses
the line even for you?

SPEAKER_02 (27:34):
I'll tell you, we don't anymore.
We don't.
Um, and and the reason we don'tis because of shit, you live
here, free speech is underattack.
Yeah you know, it's under ATEC,and then everything is AI,
everything is a clip.
So we hit record and we let itrun.
And it was the honest thoughtthat happened right then.
Don't get me wrong, um, we're upto like 280 episodes, you know.

(27:58):
Shout out to Marcus and Ken thatwe've been able to do that week
to week.
You know, that's it's it's notas easy as people think to do a
podcast.
Um, but the the the podcast isno AI because everybody adds
that to it.
And when we started, I think wedidn't know what we were doing,

(28:18):
if I'm gonna be honest with you.
I think that we were aiming forthe shock jock.
Um, I remember in our firstepisode, we was talking about
how Halle Berry uh Coochie gotto be bad because people won't
marry her, and it was justsomething that we and again that
was like during COVID.
Now we figured out like, no,that's that's not what people
want.
Like we we were tripping toomuch, we was trying to do the
shock jock thing, and thenespecially with I'm a mental

(28:41):
health advocate, Marcus is not,and Ken is a wild boy, so we got
a very good mix of people upthere uh to get the word out.
But yeah, it's all honestconversation from three black
men with three very differentexperiences in this country.

SPEAKER_04 (28:58):
Okay, all right.
So let's let's go a little bitback onto the mental health.
And I know we we talked about ita little bit, and I don't want
you to fill in all of theblanks, but I want to ask when
you look back at the season wheneverything actually felt really
hard for you, and I guess youkind of answered what was really
happening to you.

(29:19):
Um I guess I I want you to kindof walk me through when you
chose to share your mental umbreakdown on stage?
When was your point of time andsay, okay, it's time for me to
share this on stage through mycomedy?

(29:41):
When when what took for you todo in the last couple of years,
and it hurt.

SPEAKER_02 (29:49):
I'm gonna be I'm gonna tell y'all right now, it
hurt.
Do you know how easy it is tohide behind your character?
Oof.
See, you felt that, didn't you?
I saw your neck move.
Ooh, make black woman neck move,you done hit something, y'all.
Yeah, it it I'm telling you, itit was so hard.
It's so easy to get up there andhide behind comedian Sam Ridley.

(30:10):
How y'all doing?
You know, but to to come fromunder that and go, listen,
y'all, this is what happened tome.
And hope that it's received isthe thing.
Because shit, we do it tocelebrities now, you know.
We can't stand to see acelebrity real personality.
We treat celebrities so weird in2026.
We do, we do, you know.

(30:30):
As soon as they real personalitycome out, you find out who
really, really follow you.

SPEAKER_04 (30:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (30:35):
Um, I remember when I first started doing it, I was
like, I gotta start working thisinto my act because it's it's
important to me.
My my set feels flat right nowto me.
And I was afraid.
I was I was genuinely afraidthat the show was gonna end and
it was gonna be, I ain't comehere for this.
I came to crack up and eatchicken fingers.

(30:56):
What you doing, Mr.
Funny Man?
You know, and I finished thefirst show that I did my mental
health piece on.
I was um I was at the improv.
I was at the improv inHollywood.
And um this this young lady cameup to me with her husband, and
she said, Hey, how you doing?
I was like, Oh, thank you.

(31:17):
And I just kind of went intoauto mode, you know, thank you
for coming to the show, youknow.
And she goes, Well, my husband,um, he's he's been going through
it.
He got out of the military, andyou were saying things that I've
heard him say in the house.
And I think that you being ableto add comedy to it made me
understand what he's goingthrough.
And me and him just had aconversation about it.

(31:38):
And he was hugging her so tighton his arm.
And he shook my hand and hesaid, Thank you.
Like, um, I haven't heard mentalk about their brain, or you
know, I don't feel like I didn'tfeel like I was allowed to even,
and I was like, say less, sayless.
You're allowed, you're okay tohave a human moment, and it's

(31:59):
fine.
And that man hugged me.
And that was when it turned forme.
That was when it was like oneperson, you know.
I could have easily went upthere and just like just yeah,
dick joke, dah da da da.
And they would have left andsaid that guy was funny.
He left and he remembered me.
He still follows me.
Um, you have you never know howyou can affect people, and most

(32:20):
of us are just too afraid to saysomething.

SPEAKER_04 (32:22):
Yeah, I love that.
Thank you for that because thisis the this is probably the the
one of the most loud painpurpose, pain for purpose
examples that you can give.
Yeah, it really is turning paininto purpose moments that you

(32:43):
can ever give.
When we think that something ishappening to us, we don't ever
think that something ishappening for us.
And with your journey and youryour things that was happening
to you, it was happening foryou.
So you can be able to use yourplatform to be able to give
those that didn't have a voiceto be able to um describe what

(33:07):
was happening to them in realtime.
So you was able to give that manhis vulnerability without him
having to speak hisvulnerability to his wife in
another different language.
So that's amazing when when wehear, man, when we hear that, oh
my God.

SPEAKER_02 (33:28):
Yeah.
Like, fellas, I'm busy a lot,but if anybody ever inboxes me
and they need some sort ofguidance in the mental health
department, and I'm not anexpert at all.
I've just been through it and Ican see from the other side of
it.
It's very hard to see whenyou're inside of it.
Very hard.
Um, there's nothing I thinkanybody could have done to help

(33:48):
me come out of a mental spacewhere I needed clarity, um,
other than therapy and goodrelationships.
Good relationships.
When you start therapy, and Ijust want to say this to black
men out there, it feelsextremely foreign.
It feels extremely foreign.
Um, I can't, I can honestly tellyou, I probably wasn't honest

(34:11):
with her wholeheartedly forprobably the first year.
The first year.
Uh, not to say I was beingfacetious, but I wasn't letting
her in.
And and therapy is one of thosethings that you have to let
people in for it to work.
And it doesn't feel like muchwhen you start.
It feels like somebody justwanting you to say all the

(34:33):
things you think are wrong withyou.
But there's so much power insaying the thing out loud and
having somebody to bounce it offof, that's not your crutch.
Because what happens when in thewith to black men, in my
experience, was I was quick tocall a homeboy of mine that
would validate my crap thoughtprocess at the time.

(34:55):
And it feels like therapybecause you're calling somebody,
you know.
But what you're really doing isreinforcing a negative thing
that's happening in your brain.
It's the same as um, you eversee a woman go through a breakup
and then her whole page turnedinto memes?
That these men out here ain'teven because when they and
that's right, girl, repose,share.

(35:16):
And I'm like, you just you justfeeding yourself negativity.
Yes, feeding yourself.
Wake up and scroll, feedyourself negativity, put your
phone down, go eat something,look at the sun, like do
something.

SPEAKER_04 (35:31):
You are so right.
As I as you're speaking, sittinghere, I've Dow Cong Mike Mike.
I don't know if you see me overhere on the screen.
And you like, what is you do?
Man, because I'm I'm justlooking at it.
I'm like, dang, like, I wish Dr.
Will was sitting here righthere, right now on a day.
I mean, I know he's gonna be inwith the live with us talking
and watching, you know, watchingthe replay as we watching the

(35:51):
replay with everybody else.
But I see something.
I'm I'm sorry, I see it.
Vision, I I I understand, Iunderstand why I was told to
fast and I was I'm beingobedient.
There you go, see, and I hearit.
Hey, that's why we met duringAVN weekend, and it was good

(36:11):
that you was being a gentlemanbecause if you was anything
else, we would not be sittinghere right now.

SPEAKER_02 (36:15):
So I am all the way aware of that.
I'm all the way aware of that,you know.

SPEAKER_04 (36:19):
So it's like it's everything happens for a reason,
and it's always timing, it'salways divine timing.
It it is so man.

SPEAKER_02 (36:31):
Yes, yes, Lord.
Because I was a different Sam.
I was a different Sam when youmet me, you know.
Um therapy will make you adifferent person.
It's you at anyway.

SPEAKER_04 (36:40):
It still was respectful, it still was
respectful.
It's still me, yeah.
Right, it's still you, it'sstill you.
It's it's a thing that I saynow, and people, you know, I I
got people that say, You thinkyou you you think you better
than us?
And I say, No, I don't think I'mbetter.
Well, but this is what I say.
No, I don't think I'm betterthan you, I think I'm better
than what I was because I dobetter, because I know better.

(37:03):
That's it.
That's that's it.
You could take it the way youwant to.
Not that I think I'm better thanyou, but I'm better than I was,
and so that I know better, I dobetter.

SPEAKER_02 (37:16):
I do just a little bit better, you know.
And this is going back to one ofyour points about uh who you
were versus who you are, andpeople lock you into who how
they met you, you know.
Um there's probably somebody outthere that don't like me that
has some version of me from fouryears ago in their head, you

(37:38):
know, they haven't had anotherconversation with me, and you
got to be okay with that.
You have to get to a point whereyou're okay with that, they
don't understand who I'vebecome.
You know, um, I think all of uswant to be liked by people
generally, but we also have tounderstand that like we are not
all omnipresent and we are notall powerful.

(37:58):
So if somebody out there doesn'tlike you and doesn't want to sit
at the table and have aconversation to find out who you
are, you have to move and findyour tribe.
Exactly.
And it's as simple as that.

SPEAKER_04 (38:09):
As that.
When I say this, I understandexactly who I am and what I when
what I I have become.
I am.
So I'm okay with them dick picscoming in there.
I'm okay with you putting that.
You you understand?
Because I know what I did.
I I was there, I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed shit.
I was good, I got awards forthat shit.

(38:30):
You understand what I'm saying?
So it ain't nothing that you cando that's gonna shame me for
what I you you understand whatI'm saying.

SPEAKER_06 (38:37):
Yes, don't let it happen.

SPEAKER_04 (38:39):
Why you cannot tell me that God don't favor me just
like He favored.
You cannot tell me any of thosethings, you know, and that's
what people try to do, and itand it angers some people
because I'm still sitting hereglowing and still talking.

SPEAKER_02 (38:57):
Look how fine she is, y'all.
Y'all ain't took nothing,nothing.

SPEAKER_04 (39:00):
Okay, like this woman not on drugs, she ain't
no.
I am living, I am truly livingmy best life, my my best life,
and just trying to, you know,I'm not trying, I'm doing, I'm
encouraging people to love onthemselves, to fall in love,
embrace themselves.
So, guess what we can do?
So we can start being a rippleeffect in other people's lives.

(39:21):
When we talk about mental healthand mental awareness, we're
talking about helping othersbecause we had to go through the
therapy, we had to do all ofthese things.
I got chill, I mean, well, theygrown now, but I got daughters
out there.
I want to make sure that theyout there doing the very best
that they can and then theyattract good people in their
lives.

(39:42):
We are reflections of oneanother.
So when you see them or you seeme, I want to make sure that
reflection is good.
Whether you met me 15, 20 yearsago bouncing on somebody's couch
in the in a film, or you saw mebefore then on somebody's stage,
every chapter in our lives isdifferent.
So, whatever chapter you met mein, trust and believe, there's

(40:03):
another chapter, there's anotherbook that's better, that's
better.
And if it's not, well, I'm sorryfor you.

SPEAKER_02 (40:11):
If you just haven't looked for it, you understand.
It would have been very easy forme to get out of the military
and choose not to redefinemyself.
Um I didn't know who I was whenI got out of the military.
I went in at 18, you know, andthen you become that.
I started doing comedy while Iwas in, and that was probably

(40:34):
therapy for me and didn'trealize it.
Just an outlet, not therapy, butan outlet, you know.
And coming out, um, I justwatched a young lady on this
this show, A Million DollarSecret, called Unico, and she
got out of the Navy and she wastalking about how she never was
her own personality until shegot out, you know.
You are who you are, but thatdoesn't mean you have to stay

(40:55):
that forever.

SPEAKER_04 (40:56):
Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 (40:56):
You know, and fellas, stop sending her dick
pictures.
What the hell?
Stop that, stop that.
Dicks don't look good still atall.
They don't look good, they looklike a mugshot.
That's dumb.
So stop sending her dickpictures, okay?
Go on your Instagram and openboomerang and send a dick
boomerang.
They can see it moving around,it's better, they get a better

(41:19):
vision.
That's free game.

SPEAKER_04 (41:22):
Oh my goodness.
All right, let's go to the nextquestion.
Okay, so it was it was one thingthat you said, and then I like
that you you specifically addedum black men to your mental
health awareness to your comedy.
Um, and deliberately, that wasdeliberate and an intentional
choice of yours when you usethose words.

(41:43):
So, what does black men mentalhealth mean to you?
And I know one because you're ablack man, of course, but why do
you think that it still um doesnot get the space that it
deserves?

SPEAKER_02 (41:56):
Um I took a breath because you just took me to a
place.
Um so about I want to say threeyears now, uh I had a military
brother named Isaac.
Uh me and him, he was the firstperson I told when I was gonna
have my son, he's 18 now.
We've been friends that long.

(42:18):
Um, he was having a lot of a lotof problems getting out of the
militar uh the military, how itaffected his brain.
I'm tripping over my words rightnow.

SPEAKER_04 (42:28):
That's all right.

SPEAKER_02 (42:29):
Isaac um he he uh he he he committed suicide, and um
I was one of the last people hetalked to.
A lot of us were talking to him.
And um that also was one of thehardest nights of my life at
home for a whole differentreason.
So it was like a perfect stormof it.

(42:49):
That night is a show I'll neverforget, and it was
transformative in me because Iunderstood the gravity of how
far away from mental healthblack men have run um from
upbringing, from generationaltrauma.
I know coming up, if there wassomebody special in my house,
you could tell me if this wasthe case in your black family,

(43:11):
they got put in the back room,they ain't gonna see nobody.

SPEAKER_04 (43:14):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (43:14):
The special needs person got put in the back room.
Family would come over, theytake them a plate.
That was pretty much the end ofit, you know.
Um, therapy is almost unhurt.
If I tell my mama, when I toldmy mama I'm in therapy, she was
like, So you just talking tosomebody?
There's a it's it's it's astigma in the black community
about it.
And nothing drove that pointhome for me more than my brother

(43:36):
passing, in that I felt theobligation to say something
every time I could.

SPEAKER_04 (43:46):
Wow.

SPEAKER_02 (43:47):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (43:48):
Yeah.
You know, that that dude, thathit, you know, when when I when
I sit and I think about, um, Ithink about in my family now, we
have, you know, quite a few, youknow, people that um That
struggles with mental, you know,illness and mental awareness.
That's that's why this um when Idecided to dedicate last year, I

(44:10):
knew that it's it's more thanjust um depression, it's more
than just you know thestereotypic with what they call
retardation.
Excuse my language, it's morethan just more it's more than
just that.
It's it's so much more deeperthan that.
And that's why I knew that Iwanted to start from the ground

(44:30):
level and continue to build morebecause I knew coming from uh a
family that traditionally willput things up under a rug and
just you know, as you say, willput that person in the back
room, or they don't know whatthey're talking about, or
whatever, just so many things.
And I knew no, we need toaddress this in so many

(44:50):
different ways because the loveand mental health this comes
from is that we have to learnhow to love this person with
this mental health and live withthis person, understand what
that language is, understand howto be supportive with them, as
well as when they're goingthrough that mental, we are
going through that as well.
So we got to find out what doesthat look like for us in in

(45:13):
total in totality of it all.

SPEAKER_06 (45:15):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (45:16):
And so that's when we take these months this month
like this, and we break it down,you know, um, with one letter.
It's a letter that we have thismonth, and we broke it down in
four different things, fourdifferent topics, you know.
For yours, it's really is aslaughing through, and we'll talk
about this in this nextquestion, but it's laughing
through, and how can we healthrough laughter, you know, from

(45:38):
it?
How can that be a healingmechanism for um for us?
And it's all about finding thedifferent tools, you know, from
that.
We have Dr.
Will on with us every week, youknow, helping with the clinical
side of it all because I'm acoach, I'm not a therapist, so I
want to make sure that we wemake sure that we are community,

(45:59):
you know.
I have both black and white, menand women, you know, here
listening to what we we puttingout here because we have to be
careful when we giving this, andwe have uh we have uh got brain
fog again.
We we have what is the word thatI'm looking for, and I'm like
going like this.

SPEAKER_02 (46:20):
I can see your head spinning right now.
This is great.

SPEAKER_04 (46:23):
We have a responsibility, we have a
responsibility to make sure thatwe are giving the um everything
that we can to all of ourcommunities as a whole, but then
that's why I love that you madeit known that you know, my black
men, because I am arepresentation of my black men,
I am a representation of myblack men, and not only as a a

(46:45):
father, as a you know, abrother, as a son, as a husband
or whatever, I am thatrepresentation every time I walk
in on and stand on that stage.
Um, as a as a man, period.
So I need to show what myjourney is.
I have to be that voice to letthem know I'm I'm I'm your your

(47:05):
reflection, and this is how Igot through it.
It's like giving them the tools.
You understand what I'm saying?
And thank you, my brother.
Thank you.
Seriously, thank you, thank you,thank you.

SPEAKER_02 (47:22):
Well, you don't you don't know how proud I am of
you.
You really don't.

SPEAKER_06 (47:25):
Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 (47:26):
Um, and and and I'm let me put let me explain that,
I guess.
Um I'm gonna say it like this.
I follow porn stars, I followthem like people follow Pokemon,
and it's not on some like I'mjust nasty.
I genuinely am a fan of thebusiness, and I like what y'all
do, you know?
So I follow y'all's careers, Ireally do.
Um, what's her name?
Jasmine Cashmere.

(47:47):
Okay, um, I know her real name,I'm not gonna say it up here.
Um, I followed her for a verylong time, and I also saw when
she stopped.
Um, and I saw what happened toher when she stopped.
If you haven't followed her, ifyou don't know who she is, don't
worry about it.
I say that to say that um I knowhow what I went through with my

(48:09):
mental health journey of themilitary.
I can't imagine the stigma, thebacklash, the people that didn't
want you to be doing what youwere doing, the people that had
something to say.
And for you to come out of thatand be here today and be talking
about mental health in apositive way and help people
through it, like blessings toyou for being able to do that.
Um, I've seen other adult filmactresses and they didn't have a

(48:32):
great experience, they didn'tleave gracefully, or they got
treated very, very poorly in thebusiness, which I know that
happens a lot, unfortunately.
Um they don't get to see thelight again, or they end up in a
drug-induced thing to try toforget, you know.
Um, so when I see people fromthe adult film industry move on

(48:54):
to other endeavors and they'restill doing well, I'm genuinely
through the roof happy for them.
And you one of those people.

SPEAKER_04 (49:00):
Thank you.
Thank you.
I do, I appreciate it.
This journey right here has beenan amazing journey.
Um, has it been struggles?
Yeah, that's that's a that'slife, you know, that's life, and
that's that's what it is.
I mean, I I this ain't beennothing but God.
I I that's all I can say.
That's all I that's truly that'sall that I can say, really.

SPEAKER_01 (49:23):
Um, but did you have something to say?
Uh no, I'm just listening.
I'm I'm just listening to you,Sam.
I'm listening to both of you,and uh and I I'm happy for you
too, Sam, that you coming outthere and you got this stage,
you got this light where you canactually address not only black
men but all men from the man'sside.
Because on the mental healthside, a lot of men, as you say,

(49:48):
we grew up learning and feelinglike we can't say that, we can't
say nothing wrong, we can't letnobody know anything wrong, we
can't, you know, and it just itwe just build this wall up in
our head that everything's gonnabe right, I'm gonna get through
it.
You know, and and some men makebad choices, they go to
drinking, they go to drugs, theygo to other things just to try

(50:11):
to block this out.
So not only with you with youtalking about it, but you doing
comedy, and you know, peoplefeel that connection, you know,
so they can actually think aboutwhat's going on in their own
lives.
And and you know, Buffy, it'snot about being a therapist
because sometimes just talkingto regular people or or

(50:31):
celebrities or things like thatwill give you that mindset of
okay, I can I I may need to stepout and do more with what's
happening to me, you know, justhearing it from you too.

SPEAKER_02 (50:41):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, black men.
I know you probably do this,Mike.
You ever had somebody ask you,you know, hey man, you good?
And you go, I'm fine.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And you not, you're not at all.
I'm the king of I'm fine, myguy.
Like, ain't nobody, I'm not I'mfine, champion of the world,
Craig.
You feel me?
Like, that is the black man'sstaple answer.

(51:02):
Don't ask me no more questionsbecause I might start crying.
Like, I'm fine over here withall my problems.
We it's it's so hard, man.
It's so hard.
Yeah, because what because thisis what happens.
We scared of opening our mouthsto tell somebody and they don't
care.

SPEAKER_05 (51:17):
Yeah, that's that's that's true.
That's true.

SPEAKER_02 (51:20):
That's I don't want to.
Uh, what's wrong?
Well, you know, I got this billand this girl tripping out, da
da da.
Okay.
And then they walk out the room.
Bill Burr has an amazing jokeabout that where he he told his
wife she came to the room, hewas curled up on the couch.
He's like, What's wrong?
He's like, I'm just sad.
And she was like, Oh, and walkedout the room.
And he was like, Shit, I didn'tknow we could do that.

(51:41):
She didn't stop to ask no morequestions, you know, because men
are just expected to be fine.
We just make it be good, youknow.

SPEAKER_04 (51:51):
All right, so here go our last question, and this
is this is all about this.
So the version of using sothere's a version of using
comedy to cope, and then there'sa version of using comedy to
heal, right?
So, in your experience, where isthat?
Where is the line between thetwo?
And have you ever been on thewrong side of it?

SPEAKER_02 (52:12):
Have I ever been on the wrong side of you mean where
comedy gets yeah, where it getstoo heavy-handed on stage, you
mean?

SPEAKER_04 (52:21):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (52:22):
Well, okay.
Um I'm gonna laugh a minute.
You see me, well, you saw me along time ago.
I'm I have you crying now.
But um on stage, like I I havelike a pace that I try to
maintain, you know.
And when I first started writingbits about the experiences that
I was having in mental health,um, I'll be honest, they kind of

(52:45):
wrote themselves because I waslike, if I'm gonna be authentic,
there's nothing for me to add toit, you know?
Did I have to find the funny init?
Absolutely.
You know, um, I can give you anexample of one that I haven't
really done.
Um, I I told you I got in thatcar accident, right?
Um, I got in a car accident.
What happened?
I was coming back from a gig inVegas, and it was in November

(53:06):
when we had all that rain.
Okay.
That real bad rain, and uh thehighway flooded out in front of
me in the dark.
So I just hit a wall of water at60 miles an hour, and uh the car
stopped to cut off and all ofthat good stuff.
I did not think I was gonna makeit out of there just because of
where I was.
The cops got me out of thatdeluge and I was safe.
Thank God I still owed him ashow.

(53:28):
Um, fast forward to on from thatmoment, uh, because again, back
to like me and Mike was talkingabout black men.
Oh, I'm fine, I got out of that,it's all good.
We just assume, you know, well,it happened.
What I'm gonna do about it, I'mgonna cry about it.
I my brain started doing that.
We went to Universal Studios inHollywood and we were about to

(53:49):
get on a Jurassic Park ride.
That's a water ride, y'all.
Uh wasn't thinking about it atthe time, though, you know.
So I was just, I'm with my kids,let's have a good time, you
know.
As soon as that bar locked downon my lap and I heard that water
around me, I was right back inthat car in an accident.
And I remember this is all Iremember clutching my son's arm

(54:12):
and bursting into tears.
I didn't remember seeing a frameof the ride.
I was in tears.
As soon as the ride thing let meoff, I jumped out of the car and
I was crying in the corner of alittle gift shop when you get
off the ride.
And my family came around me.
Um, let me pause right there inthat story.
Matter of fact, Mike, you're ablack man.

(54:32):
All I could think was, I'membarrassed.
Right.
I'm in I'm in public right now.
I'm at Universal Studios cryingin front of all these people.
I'm snatting at the nose.
What a weird thought to havewhile you're having a human
moment.
Why am I worried about them?
You know, like I should havebeen all the way worried about
me, and I couldn't do it.

(54:54):
My family jumped around me, andI heard them tell like one of
the workers, we got him, he'sokay.
You know, and and they was justlike, you can chill, like we got
you, you know.
And I went and sat down for abit, and we ended up going to
enjoy the rest of our day.
Okay.
Um, and I I will always thankthem for that moment.
So let's fast forward to thatnight when we get back home.

(55:17):
And my wife was like, uh, do youwant to talk about what happened
in the park?

SPEAKER_05 (55:22):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (55:23):
And um I said to her, Well, no, I'm fine.
You hear me lying to me?
I'm lying to me.
And um, I but what what I saidto her was, and this is again
black defense mechanism, I waslike, Well, what is there to
say?
Because in my mind, it justhappened, you know.
And this is when I found out wereally got to communicate

(55:44):
better.
Because what she said to me was,Well, I'm trying to figure out
what made you cry on the ride.
She had no idea I was crying upthere about the car accident all
day because me and her hadgotten into an argument about
our intimacy like the nightbefore.
So she thought I was cryingabout that.
Wow.
And I was like, No, baby, I wascrying about the car accident.

(56:07):
Not about, and she was like, Oh,okay, I didn't understand.
I just, you know, and I waslike, I ain't understand either.
I ain't realized you thoughtyour pussy was that good.
You thought I was crying on theride about draws.
I'm with my children right now,ma'am.
Like, you think that I got onthe water ride, and and when we

(56:34):
got to the top drop, I was like,Oh, I should be getting some
pussy right now, and justsnapped.
Like, that's what you thinkhappened.
Is that where we at?
You know?

SPEAKER_01 (56:42):
Um I I guess you thought it was that wet, huh?

SPEAKER_02 (56:46):
Bruh.
I was like, it probably wentman, that taught me so like, and
like I said, like I didn't haveto write that joke.
That's just what happened.

SPEAKER_01 (57:01):
That's life.
That's real.

SPEAKER_02 (57:02):
That's just life.
I was like, you really thought Iwas crying about the poo-boom,
okay.
Wow, yeah, you know, and like Isaid, clarity, man.
Clarity.
If we never had thatconversation, even her asking we
should talk about it, it wouldhave just been out in the open
and she would have just thoughtI was crying over the coochie.

SPEAKER_04 (57:21):
Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah.
I love that.
Thank you for sharing thatstory.
You you know what I'm saying.
So let me ask you this you goingthrough therapy, has that
actually helped you in yourmarriage as well?

SPEAKER_02 (57:35):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Um, we'd have been through it,we didn't almost separate it, we
didn't try the open thingbecause we different people,
like we didn't try all sorts ofthings.
But um, I if we didn't go to mypersonal therapist, and then we
had like a group one uh that wewent to together, um, we'd have
been done a long time ago, wholelong time ago.

SPEAKER_04 (57:55):
Right.
I love that.
I love that for you.
All right, so I tell you thatwas my last, but this is my last
question for you, really.
What does healing actually looklike for you right now?
Like, not in theory, but whatdoes it look like for you?

SPEAKER_02 (58:11):
Everybody listening, man.
Healing is not going to presentitself the way you think it is.
It is not.
I remember I was like, okay, I'mgonna go to therapy, I'm talking
to this white woman once a week,boom, boom, I'm back off to the
races, you know.
Um, it don't start working untilyou start sitting with the
things that you talk about andthinking about your behavior and

(58:35):
situations, you know.
I feel like um humans, period.
We never consider our actions ina given uh predicament.
We consider everything that'shappening on the outside of it
and how we outwardly react to itwhen we might be sitting in the
middle creating a negativespace, depending on how we
present ourselves.
So um healing for me is the daythat I could sit and I'm sitting

(59:00):
with all these emotions and I'min my head about everything and
go, I don't have to be.
I understand why I'm having thisvisceral reaction to whatever
trigger I have.
Um and I'll just say this beforewe leave on triggers.
Nobody's responsible for yourtriggers.
And I say that with all care andsensitivity because that doesn't

(59:23):
mean they aren't valid.
But going into a space, you haveto be aware of the ones you
already have and temper yourselfbecause you also don't want to
impart negative space on anybodyelse when you're around people.
So um, I feel like the learninghappens when you look a little
bit more intrinsic, you stopgoing, these people are doing
this to me, and go, this is howI just naturally react to things

(59:45):
and I can fix that.

SPEAKER_04 (59:47):
Right, right.
You know what?
Thank you for that.
Thank thank you for that.
Do we have any more questions?
Dolphin, do you have any thelast question for him or
anything like that?

SPEAKER_01 (59:56):
No, no, I don't know.
It's been a great show, greatexperience, right?

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:00):
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:00):
Well, what an honor to be here.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:02):
No, it it is it's good that you is here.
So let me let me say thisbecause we've been talking about
you, right?
And we ain't talking about theletter, it's the letter that we
that we have, it's a letter thatwe have, and it's all about
betrayal, right?
So this month we've been talkingabout betrayal and healing and
reclaiming yourself and all ofthat going through.
So, where does laughter live inthis process for you?
Not personally, but if somebodycame to you and said, Look, I'm

(01:00:26):
trying to heal from beingbetrayed to, lied to, and all of
this other stuff, how can youmake that person heal through
laughter with that?
Am I trying to get a free freejoke out of this?

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:37):
No.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:39):
Oh man, there's no, I don't think there's a place in
life you can go to somebodyain't gonna end up trying to
stab you in the back some kindof way.
People just weird, man.
Um, I I left LA for a whilebecause I got tired of the
backstabby stuff, you know, anduh I had to find the laughter in
laughter again.
Once you do comedy, you neverlook at comedy the same way,

(01:01:01):
right?
You know, I think that's anyindustry, you know.
Um, once you're in it, you yousee behind the curtain.
Uh so it's real hard.
It's real hard to get somebodyto the point that I'm at.
That's why I'm like, I'm strongenough to pass this message on.
You know, the getting to thelaughter is that's my purpose.
Y'all come to a show and you'rehaving a hard time getting to

(01:01:23):
the laughter, being able to lookat yourself.
I promise you leaving withsomething.
I promise you leaving withsomething.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:29):
Well, thank you.
Thank you so much, Sam.
Sam Ridley the third.
Thank you.
And where can they see you at?
Give them your um your socialmedia, your website, your your
podcast.
Let them know where you at on aroll.
Give give it all to us, give itall.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:45):
Oh man.
Well, look, if y'all love whatI'm doing, man, I would love for
y'all to join the tribe.
I got a small but mighty uhfollowing, and they real, real
loyal, man.
At Sam Ridley Comedy,S-A-M-R-I-D-L-E-Y Comedy, Sam
Ridley Comedy, and that's thesame on everything literally
YouTube, Instagram, Facebook,PlayStation, because I be on
Twitch doing that.

(01:02:06):
Illegal Opinions comes out everysingle week, every Friday, and
all your streaming services.
Please tune in with us.
And uh, my TikTok and myInstagram have all my tour dates
loaded up.
I'm about to be everywhere fromNorth Carolina to Tennessee to
Michigan back to California.
I'm gonna be across the country.
So I hope I see y'all at a show.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:23):
Beautiful, beautiful.
Well, my beautiful people, thatis it again.
Sam, thank you so much.
We'll be seeing you soon.
You make sure you get up.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:31):
Sam, you ain't getting rid of me.
You ain't getting rid of me.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:33):
That's it.
We reconnecting now.
We you ain't going nowhere.
You ain't going nowhere, mybrother.
All right, all right, so uh hey,Instagdess Naomi ranks.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:46):
And I hope you enjoyed that last episode of Axe
Naomi Bridging the Gap.
And if you did, please like,subscribe, press that
notification button, as well ascomment.
I'll see you next week.
Keep it sexy.

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Sam Ridley III — The Complete Unedited Interview (Ask Nyomi: Bridging the Gap)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Sam Ridley III — The Complete Unedited Interview (Ask Nyomi: Bridging the Gap)