Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Callaroga shark media from Washington, DC, where, Yeah, we know
Sidney Sweeney is hot. This is valid. Do you expect
me to disagree with you? Stop distracting us and release
the Epstein files. So Donald Trump just learned that Sidney
Sweeney is a registered Republican and suddenly he's her biggest fan.
(00:26):
This happened live on camera when a reporter told him
about her voter registration. His response, Oh, now, I love
her ad. But Trump couldn't just leave it there. No,
he had to turn this into a full blown truth
social manifesto about wokeness, Taylor Swift, and corporate America. What
started as Hey, I like this actress now became a
(00:46):
masterclass in going completely off the rails. The Sydney Sweeney
situation involves her American Eagle campaign that's been getting roasted online.
The ad features her saying things like my jeans are
blue while talking about genes being passed down through families.
Critics are calling it tone deaf at best, eugenics adjacent
at worst. But Trump, he's calling it the hottest ad
(01:08):
out there. Then came the pivot that nobody saw coming.
Trump decided this was the perfect moment to take shots
at Taylor Swift. Just look at woke singer Taylor Swift.
He wrote, Ever since I alerted the world as to
what she was by saying on truth that I can't
stand her hate, she was booed out of the super
Bowl and became no longer hot. Now Taylor Swift getting
(01:31):
booed out of the super Bowl is news to everyone
who actually watched the super Bowl. But in Trump's version
of reality, his truth social post somehow caused America's sweetheart
to become unpopular. That's some serious main character energy right there.
The timing here is perfect. Sweeney registered to vote as
a Republican on June fourteenth, twenty twenty four, That's Trump's
(01:53):
seventy eighth birthday. She buys a thirteen and a half
million dollar house in the Florida Keys and registers Republican
on Trump's birthday. Trump probably thinks she planned this whole
thing just for him. But wait, there's more. Trump also
used this moment to re relitigate the bud light controversy
and bashed Jaguar's recent ad campaign. Who wants to buy
(02:16):
a Jaguar? After looking at that disgraceful ad, shouldn't they?
Have learned a lesson from bud Light, which went woke
and essentially destroyed in a short campaign the company. So
what started as Trump discovering an actress shares his political
party turned into a comprehensive review of corporate advertising decisions
from the past two years. The best part Sweeney has
(02:38):
never publicly endorsed Trump or commented on politics at all.
She's just quietly registered Republican and made a questionable Genes commercial.
But in Trump's mind, she's basically leading the anti woke resistance.
His grand conclusion, the tide has seriously turned. Being woke
is for losers. Being Republican is what you want to be.
(02:58):
Thank you for your attention to this matter. He thanked
us for our attention to a rant that started with
jeans and ended with a declaration of cultural war. The
House Oversight Committee just issued subpoenas for Bill and Hillary
Clinton to testify about Jeffrey Epstein, because apparently twenty twenty
five wasn't weird enough already. They're also going after eight
(03:18):
former top law enforcement officials and demanding all the Justice
Departments Epstein files. Republican Chairman James Comer is casting a
wide net here He wants depositions from former attorneys general
spanning four presidential administrations, Merrick Garland, William Barr, Jeff Sessions,
Loretta Lynch, Eric Holder, and Alberto Gonzalez, plus former FBI
(03:40):
directors James Comy and Robert Mueller. That's basically every major
law enforcement figure from the past twenty years. The timeline
they've set up is ambitious. They want all these depositions
to happen throughout August, September, and October, ending with Hillary
Clinton on October ninth and Bill Clinton on October fourteenth.
So the Clintons get the grand finale slots, which tells
(04:03):
you exactly where this is heading now. Bill Clinton was
among the luminaries who knew Epstein before his crimes became public.
Clinton traveled on Epstein's jet, but is said through a
spokesperson that he never visited Epstein's homes and had no
knowledge of his crimes. He's never been accused of wrongdoing
by any of Epstein's victims. I have an idea that
might clear all this up. Release the Epstein files. So
(04:30):
the Department of Homeland Security decided to recruit new ICE
agents using a South Park screenshot and not just any
South Park screenshot, one from an episode where Ice officers
are literally raiding the town. Now, I've seen some questionable
government marketing decisions before, but using cartoon footage of your
own agency conducting raids to attract job applicants, that's bold.
(04:52):
That's saying, hey want to work for us, here's exactly
what you'll be doing, but animated. The screenshot comes from
a recent South Park trailer that also features Donald Trump
groping Satan under a dinner table. So Homeland Security had
options here. They could have used literally any other image
to promote their website, a flag, a sunset, a stock
(05:12):
photo of people shaking hands, But no, they went with
the Ice raid scene. This trailer got one million views
on YouTube in a week, which explains why someone at
DHS thought this is it. This is our recruitment gold mine.
I can picture the meeting now, Johnson, we need fresh
blooded ice. What's popular with the kids these days? Well, sir,
(05:35):
there's this cartoon where they're making fun of us. Perfect
use that Comedy Central hasn't commented yet on their show
being used as a government recruitment tool, though, honestly, what
do you say? We're flattered? Our satirical take on immigration
enforcement is being used unironically by immigration enforcement. Portions of
today's show were made with the help of ice AI
(05:57):
and Good Genes released the Epstein files, You coward