January 28, 2026 • 53 mins
“If you could divorce without destroying your peace, your finances, or your relationships, what would you need to do differently today?”
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Beyond Mindset Limits with Tisha Marie Kine, where
we explore how unlocking your mindset can pave the way
for unlimited success, learn to create opportunities for legal challenges,
and transform your business and life through the power of
(00:27):
publishing as a brand building tool. And now your host,
Tisha Marie Cain.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Oh my goodness, welcome to the show today, you guys,
we are with me, Tisha Marie Kine. Welcome to Beyond
Mindset Limits, where we talk about all things, and today's
topic is divorce without destruction? Could that be possible that
we could actually have a divorce with out blazing everybody
(01:02):
in our path? And I'm wondering if we could just
ride this ride together for the next hour. I want
to preface that I am not an attorney. I cannot
and will not give.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
You legal advice.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
What I do do is I help people prepare paper
work correctly, I help them understand the process, and when
both parties are willing, I keep.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Them in a good communication, focused and calm so arguments
don't escalate.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
So today, welcome to.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Beyond Mindset Limits. I'm Tissa Marie Kane, Executive Council. I
do all things, and I want to talk about divorce.
And the reason why I want to talk about divorce
is I own Kine's legal support and I help people
break the marriage contract without destruction. And basically what I
do is I have taken over the last week, I've
(01:57):
taken seven calls about people getting ready to get a
divorce for whatever reason. And to be completely transparent, I'm
also a neuro linguistic programming practitioner, so I want to
use the correct words here.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I don't say to.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Be honest, because I'm always honest, but to be completely transparent,
I don't really care why we're breaking the marriage contract.
We're going to break the marriage contract and we're going
to do a new contract. So that's basically what I
tell them. So here in California, there's a process, and
you're going to get processed through this. You can hire
(02:34):
an attorney, and you can spend years in court, and
typically divorces they want you hire a barcard attorney. They
typically stay in argument for anywhere from three to eight years.
And so I help people break the marriage contract for
(02:54):
whatever reason and we get to do a new contract.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
So let me through this.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
When you call and you're like Okay, Hey, whatever reason
I want to get a divorce, I'm like, great, here's
the California process. Now, I do have an office in
Las Vegas.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
So even though I've already.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Beat the Nevada Supreme Court, and I'm very boastful and
loud about that, because little miss Tisha Marie Kane went
all the way up to the Nevada Supreme Court and
we won on jurisdiction alone.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
So I have many cases of.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Winning and I even hate to use the word winning,
but just doing the right thing. So I have this
Las Vegas office and I'm learning the legal legalities around
child custody divorce in Nevada as well. But I am
an expert in family law and I hold myself out
(03:49):
to be exactly that. But more importantly, I've been doing
this since two thousand and nine. I've been helping families
come together and have a meeting of the mind to
really understand that this doesn't have to.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Be messy and we don't have to hate each other.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Come on, you guys. So I'm currently doing a divorce
right now, and they had been married for twenty nine years.
We don't have to hate each other. We could just
break the marriage contract and let's do up the new contract.
So the process for California is okay. One person becomes
the petitioner, one person becomes the respondent.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
The courts don't really care.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
The more you guys agree, the better off.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
You're going to be.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
And that's one of my cliches. The more you agree,
the better off you're going to be, especially if you
have children. If you have children, you are going to
want to get an agreement.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
On the table. And let me tell you why.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
When you bring your private affairs, this is private between
you and your husband and your wife. When you bring
your private affairs to the public, the public will harvest you.
And it is a for profit organization. What do you
think their clients are you?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
It is totally you.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So the more you file paperwork and the more you
argue in court is the more that these systems are
going to remain open for profit and they're going to
make a lot of money. So the process in California
back to that is, one person is the petitioner, one
person is the respondent. We file in court, we disclose,
(05:31):
We give the other party full disclosure.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
So we do all the paperwork.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Hey, we were married on this day, we were separated
on this day. We own I own one. We have
two houses together, we have two cars together, we have
an RB, we have two dogs, and there's where we
there we are.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
So we list.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Everything out on the disclosures, so we have to understand first,
you know, what's all there. Financially, the courts want to
know about the finance, finances and all the assets and
all the expenses.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
We have to do full disclosure. So we do all the.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Paperwork to get that in. So the petitioner would hire me,
I do all of that paperwork at their discretion.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
We outline.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
You know, there's a series of questions when you hire
Kaine's legal support. I go in and I give you
an action item checklist. I need to know every single thing.
If you got a checking account, a savings.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Account, if you got a four.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
To oh one k an ira, if you've got four
horsers or ten dogs. I get to know everything.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Because we have to disclose that to the courts.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
They want to know. Then once all of that is done,
we put in the paperwork and we open the case.
Then as a registered process server, I'm also that too. Again,
I open this call as meybe in a unicorn, and
I do it all.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Because I like to make this easy.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I care about my clients. I am here to serve
on a bigger scale, so I just wrap it up
as a package, make everything easy as a registered process server.
Once we get the paperwork out from the court, I
go out to the other party and I don't do
like the.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
Movies, say you've been served.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
No, guess what, you guys probably already know that this
divorce was already coming up. You're in the season of
divorce right now. We're not handling it that way. And
in fact, if you guys want me to help you
through this, I'll help you through the process of getting
divorce and what that looks like. I facilitate order and
I don't give advice. So I just keep everything orderly,
(07:30):
everything funneled through a system to follow the court's processes. Okay,
after the other party is served, we have to wait
thirty days.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
In California.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Now there is one court in California up in Sacramento County.
They do a one day divorce, which is fantastic, But
you got to live in Sacramento County and you have
to do that up there, and you have to have
agreements already on the paper. She keeps one house, I
keep one house. She keeps one dog. I keep one dog.
She keeps one car. I keep one car. Judge, we
(08:03):
got everything on an agreement, We're good, and the judge
signs off on that one day divorce. Typically in California
it's six months in one day from the time that
we serve the other party. So I just work with
both parties here. Note we're not trying to win. We're
trying to get out of the marriage contract for whatever reason,
and we're simply going to do a marriage settlement agreement
(08:26):
and get agreements out on the table. So my goal
is not to push people into court battles. I freaking
hate the courts. I hate what they've done to people
and families, and I try to stay out of there
as much as possible, which is all the reason why
I went to law school and spent three and a
half years of my life learning the law so I
(08:47):
can come back and help you. My goal is to
help people slow down and take responsibility for their role
and move through divorce with order instead of chaos. With
that being said, I understand divorces are very emotional, and
emotions are running high. And this show is about helping
(09:11):
people come back to center before engaging the legal system.
Because when two people can self govern, when they can
regulate their emotions and they can act in good faith,
divorce just becomes a process and not a war. On
this show, I'm going to teach you what I call
(09:32):
the Divorce without Destruction principles. These five principles help people
slow down, self govern and move through divorce without emotional, financial,
or mental ruin. I'm not here to give legal advice now,
I don't do that. I'm here to help people approach
the process with order, clarity, and responsibility. We have to
(09:56):
take radical responsibility. For whatever reason we're breaking the marriage contract,
I don't care. But let's do up a new contract
that is equitable. And I speak about equity all the time.
If you could divorce without destroying your peace and your
(10:17):
finances and.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Your relationships, what would you need to do differently?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And I have some people, tons of people writing in today,
Jessica from to Mechila.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
She has a question where we'll get to.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
At the end of the show. But what I want
to go down through here is just really making.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Sure that you know the process.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
And I know that humanity is in a critical stage
right now, and people are waking up, and people are
wanting to expand. And I know that for whatever reason,
their partner isn't wanting to expand, or their partners is
stuck in a low vibration or a negative mindset and
(10:59):
they don't resonatemore. I don't have to hate you. We're
just not vibing on.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
The same vibe anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Right, And so you come to me. I do all
the paperwork at your discretion, and we get it down.
So after we serve the other party, we wait thirty
days and they have to put their paperwork in now
they can or they don't have to.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
And typically I say, don't put it in.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I mean, if you guys want a divorce, don't answer this,
and we'll go ahead and default and move down here
through quickly. California law says six months and one day.
But the courts some counties work very quickly. I work
in all counties. Some counties work very quickly, and some
counties don't. They'll give you one court date. It's a
(11:42):
marriage settlement conference. They'll give you one court date to say, hey,
what's going on? Because in the past, what has happened
was people open divorce paperwork and then they don't show
up because they got back together. And so the courts
don't want to keep, you know, an open case on
their calendar if they're not one.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
To move forward.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
But I move so quickly, and that's one of my
gifts is I move fast, aligned, action packed person. I
get this, get in, get in, let's get this done.
Let's tab this take six months in one day. But
typically we move quick enough where I'm working with both
parties and saying, hey, what would you agree to and
(12:21):
both parties we come together. We do a marriage settlement
agreement and I notarized his signature. I notarized her signature. Well,
both partners in this I notarize. I'm also a notary.
I notarize their signatures. Then we put the marriage settlement
agreement into the case with the judgment, and we're done.
(12:43):
And yes, I talk a good talk.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I know the.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
System, I know how quickly it can go. It sounds good,
and it also I also know that there are emotional
spirals in that. So today on beyond mindset limits, I
want to give you divorce without destruction your framework. So
if you're listening, this show is meant for you.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
And I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Because Tisha Marie Kane can help you. Now here's what
I can't help though. I had a Discovery call yesterday
and the wife said, you know what, Tisha, I am
just done.
Speaker 5 (13:19):
With his full crap and I want to take him for.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
All he's worse.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I want his whole four to oh one k I
want all the houses and I want to fight him. Okay, no, no, no, no, okay,
thank you for all of that language. And I don't
think this is a good match. I think you need
to go get an attorney, and I think you need
to lawyer up. And they're gonna fight with you, and
they are going to fight and they're going to argue
(13:43):
their point and they're going to keep this account open.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
So that's what they do.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Nope, I shut the accounting down. No one's getting paid.
You guys can spend whatever you want to spend. If
you want to spend sixteen thousand dollars, I think the
retainer right now in California is anywhere from five thousand
to nine thousand dollars to retain an attorney, or you
can come with Kaine's legal support. We do it a
(14:10):
fraction of the cost because.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
We know what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
We're clearly leaders in the community, and we're not here
to rip off the American people. We're not here for that.
We're here to get agreements and meanings of the minds
together on the table. I want an agreement, and so like,
I have been strategically placed in this role for a reason,
because I am a master communicator, and I will call
(14:37):
people out when they are out of alignment. I will say, nope,
that's why this discovery call with this lady just the
other day, I'm like, you know what, this is not
going to be a good match. I'm not here to fight.
We're not fighting anything. We're breaking the marriage contract and
we're doing the new contract. And so she thanks me
for her time, and she went on her.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
About her way.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
But I have a framework that will help you go
down through your divorce and manage this. And I also
said that I don't like bringing my private affairs to
the public, and these court systems are the public if
you especially have you got children involved. And you know what,
(15:19):
I got my own story why I ran right into
law school because I was dumb. You know, I think
Maya Angelou said, once you know better, you do better.
And I remember I have an ex husband, and I
remember he wanted to take our daughter to Disneyland and
it was on my weekend and I said no because
(15:40):
my ego was in the way. And my ex said great,
I'll see you in court. And I said great. And
I tell you it was horrible ever since, and I thought,
what is so wonky? What is going on? I don't understand.
I'm very logical, I'm very small, I have superior intelligence,
(16:02):
and I don't know what's happening right now. So I
ran into law school to figure it out. And I
tell you I certainly figured it out. And so what
I do, because I'm so passionate about keeping you outside
of court, I get agreements on the table and I
listen for language like I want to fight him, I
(16:24):
want to take him for all it's worth. And so
the framework that I deploy is, first, we do emotional
non destruction. We unregulated emotion is what destroys families, not
divorce itself. When people pause and they take a breath
(16:45):
and they respond instead of react. And that's what I
talked about on last week's show, is responding instead of reacting,
outcomes start to change and so there's calm communication, there's
reduced hostility, and they stay out.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Of emotional spirals. So this is what I do.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I don't want you guys to hate each other. You
had a soul contract for a reason, and hey, we're
going to go on our separate ways. We're gonna do
something different because this ain't working out anymore. And so
I just help you do the paperwork and get it
done easy peasing. Instead of taking the five to nine
thousand dollars. You guys can go to Tahiti and live
(17:28):
in an underwater bungalow, or you can hire an attorney
and fight in court for the next three to eight years.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
And that's what Barquard attorneys we.
Speaker 5 (17:36):
Are trained to argue. So when I was in law school,
they're like, Tisha.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Argue your point, argue and I was like, ooh, what
happens when I argue? Oh no, my client needs all
of the four oh one k chi ching chi ching
chi ching. I keep the accounting.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Open, I keep more court dates.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
All on the calendar. As a bar card attorney, I'm
getting paid. I do not have my bar card and
I am not an attorney. And I don't hold myself
out as that, but I do know the law, and
I know all laws. What laws are you talking about today?
Because you know what I know me, and I know
where I come from, and I know my grassroots, and
(18:24):
I know there's only ten.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Laws that I live by.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
There's only ten, and one of those laws is love
my neighbor. Let's talk about that too. I had a
client call. This was a young I gotta tell you
because it was so great. There was this young kid,
he was twenty three. He says, Tisha, I want to
take my neighbor to small claims court.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Can you help me?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I said what I said, tell me more, tell me more,
and he said, yeah, he goes my neighbor. And I
have stories upon stories. Okay, I've been blessed with more
words than the Bible concordinates because I live through this.
And this is what I talk about is I have
the education. I have seventeen years of college, I have
(19:07):
the experience, and I just deploy out this wisdom.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I have the wisdom. So I'm talking to this.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Twenty three year old who wants to take his neighbor
to small claims court.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I said, okay, cool, we can take the neighbor to
small claims court. That'd be great, I said, but tell
me more before we go. And he goes, you know,
I work the nights, and he goes, well, I.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Sleep during the day, and the neighbor underneath me keeps
having their security door slam and it keeps waking me
up every day and I can't sleep, and it's just ridiculous.
And I just want to take them to small claims court.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, okay, here's what I do.
I get agreements on the table, so you can stay
(19:49):
out of these court systems. Because the court systems are
a for profit into tea. Let's stay out of them,
all of these systems. We need to stay out of
the systems and work and take radical responsibility. I said, Okay,
if you really want to take them to small claims court,
I said, I'd like to make an agreement with you
(20:11):
right now and make you an offer.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
He said, great, what is it?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I said, I will reduce my rate by fifty percent,
And but we got to have the honor system. You
got to do exactly what I say. And if you
do exactly what I say, and we still want to
take them to Small Claims court. Let's do that and
I will reduce my rate by fifty percent. He goes, Okay, Tisha,
tell me what you got. I said, okay, here's what
(20:35):
I said.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Look around your house. I said, what do you got?
You got any cookies? Do you got any chips? He goes.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
You know, I don't make a whole lot of money.
I don't have a lot of money. I'm like, okay,
and this sounds dumb already, because you want to take
your neighbor to court and you want to pay me
to do all the paperwork, but you don't have a
whole lot of money right now, okay, I said, why
don't you do this? I said, look around. You got
to have something.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
He goes, you know what I love the I have
some rice. I have this favorite.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Rice meal, boxed rice meal that I love. He goes,
I got ten boxes of that. I said, great, great,
I want you to take five boxes of the ten boxes,
and I want you to take your little happy butt downstairs,
and I want you to go and knock.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
And he goes, are you serious?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
And I'm like, yep, I want you to knock. He goes, okay,
And then what I said, I want you to say.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
Hey, you know, I don't think we've met before.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I'm your neighbor that lives upstairs. And what I want
you to do is this. I want you to make
friends with him and just say, I wonder if my
security door when I slam it upstairs, if it keeps
you guys awake, or if it becomes a problem. Do
you know if it's really loud when I slam my door?
And see what they say? And he goes, okay, and
then what And I said, why don't you ask them
(21:48):
if you can buy that little piece. I don't know
what it's called, but it's that little piece on the
door that makes the door do it like a soft shut.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
It's like five dive dollars at home depot.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Why don't you buy that little piece on the door
and see if they would allow you to buy that
and go from there. So what he did was he
walked down there and he asked him and I said,
now you have to do exactly what I say, and
then you have to follow up with me, and then
you have to report back to me. And if they're
still being rude and you're not able to sleep, let's.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Take their butts to court and we'll most likely win. Okay, cool,
So he does exactly that.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Well, I tell you he never called me back. But
then a couple months later he left me a review
and said, Tisha, thank you so much. He goes, that
absolutely worked, and I just want to leave a good
review here because you kept me out of court. And
more importantly, I want you to know that I made
friends with those neighbors, and I was just acting out
(22:53):
of haste because I was tired and I was emotional,
and I thought they were doing it to be mean
to me. And he goes, once I got to know them,
they're the nicest neighbors ever. And so I just pointed
them back to radical responsibility and just communication at higher levels.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
And this is what I do.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I break it down so it tends to be so
simple and so easy that people it gets to be digestible.
It gets to be digestible so people can really understand.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
What's real here.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
So I just take them down through the process of
this divorce framework. And I tell you right now, that
changed that whole man's life, and more importantly, it changed
mine because I know that I'm a master communicator. So
we're going to get ready to take a break. I
want you to hang tight. We're going to come back.
And why we take this break. Listen for these messages
(23:49):
and we're going to come right back after the break.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
What if the secret edge separating good leaders from exceptional
ones isn't strategy, experience, or intelligence, but mindset. Behind closed doors,
many elite C suite leaders and senior executives rely on
a powerful, yet rarely discussed tool, hypnosis. With over twenty
two years of experience, Executive Council Tisha Marie Kane works
(24:40):
with C suite leaders and high performing executives to quiet
internal noise, sharpened decision making, release unconscious limitations and success blocks,
and operate from a place of calm authority, especially under pressure.
The most effective leaders don't push harder. They lead from alignment, clarity,
and control. To schedule your private hypnotherapy appointment today, visit
(25:02):
Tisha Marie Kine dot com.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Did you know most people pay thousands of dollars more
than they need to for legal services. That's why choosing
the right team matters more than you think. With over
twenty six years of experience, Cain's Legal Support proudly serves
California and the City of Las Vegas with personalized legal support.
(25:35):
We handle everything from divorce mediation, family law, custody matters,
document preparation, and landlord tenant issues. Plus Cain's Legal Support
offers notary public wedding efficient services and black line security
for executive protection, residential security, and celebrity security where we
(26:00):
turn monitoring into action. So whatever your legal and security
needs are, Cain's Legal Support is your concierge legal and
protection services every step of the way. Contact Caine's Legal
Support today at Caine's Legalsupport dot com for personalized legal
(26:22):
and security solutions that fit your needs.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
And we are back with Tisha Marie Kine with Beyond
Mindset Limits, and today we are talking about divorce without
destruction and I am passed. I hope you guys can
feel my passion through this because I know how emotional
divorce can be, especially when you've had a soul contract
(26:54):
with someone for over twenty years. It becomes a process.
And that's why I like to help families who are
going through this trying time. Because I'm a master communicator,
I help people get agreements out on the table.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
So before the break.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I was talking to you about the client who came
to me who wanted to sue his neighbor, and he
didn't sue his neighbor. And in fact, he became best
friends with the neighbor because we got agreements out on
the table. So this is what I help you do
with divorce is divorce doesn't have to ruin everybody in sight,
(27:32):
ruin families, ruin everything. And so I have deployed five
principles of self governance for separation, and so order starts within.
You really have to take a deep breath and say, Okay,
I understand the other party has asked for a divorce.
(27:55):
Maybe I don't want this, maybe I do, but you
know what, I'm in a state of surrender and allowing
things to play out in my life the way that God,
if you believe in a higher power, has for me.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
So before any.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Paperwork is filed, or before any message is sent, or
any decision is made, I would invite you to regulate
your emotions, pause, and just make sure that you check
in on your behavior and set your intentions for resolution,
not revenge. I mean, gosh, you love this person, and now,
(28:36):
for whatever reason, we're just going to go our separate ways.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
We don't need.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Revenge and accept personal responsibility. If you can't govern your emotions,
the system will govern you. And you know what, I'm
a product of that my emotions. I wasn't trained on
how to have this, how to go through a divorce.
I wasn't trained, and the system governed me because I would.
(29:03):
I did not get my ego out of the way
and let my daughter's dad take her to Disneyland because
I was in control for the week. So stupid, you know. Now,
ten years later, I'm like, I was so stupid. But
you know what, this is where forgiveness comes in for
self because you know better when you do better, right,
And so number one is self governed. Before you separate,
(29:28):
and get some coaching. Get it a life coach. Get
get someone who can coach you through you know, it's
a whole season. It's a different season. So get someone
to help you through the emotions so that you can regulate.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Number two.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
You gotta have that ego. The ego must stand down.
And I'm talking from experience.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I am the most authentic person you will find because man,
I'll put my hand up every day.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
My ego was so up there.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Like I'm gonna win you know when I call it
the anti family court for a reason. They're not in
there to help get agreements on the table.
Speaker 6 (30:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
And the more they keep you arguing, the more the
judges get paid, the clerks get paid, the attorneys get paid.
They'll throw minors counsel on you. And I call it, frankly,
a pocket pal industry. I call it a pocket pal syndrome. Okay,
now you guys need you guys need couples counseling. Oh oh,
(30:31):
now you need individual counseling. And now you need parenting counseling.
And now your child needs a therapy. It's disgusting. You
guys know what is best for your family, and especially
if you have children.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
This is what I say.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
God entrusted this child with you, the mother, and you
the father or whatever blended family that you have, and
you're raising this child. God entrusted this child with you.
It is your responsibility to handle your affairs in the private.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
The moment you take your.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Private affairs to the public, I guarantee you chi ching
chi ching, chiching. There's a Duns and Bradstreet number for
every courthouse in California where there is a for profit
organization they are making money off of you. So ego
stand down. Your ego shows up when you're needing to win.
(31:33):
Your ego shows up when you're needing to be right,
and your ego shows up when you're needing to punish
the other person. So I talk about divorce without destruction,
and that requires humility. It requires coming in with good faith.
It requires a willingness to compromise.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Who cares, you know what.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
At this stage of my game, I'm going to be
tish a five point zero my birds. This year I'm
gonna be fifty years old. I'm gonna be Tisha five
point zero. And at fifty, if I can pay for peace,
I will pay for peace. Like I am not, this
is it don't mean anything. All this material stuff. That's
why God says. And I am not religious, but I
believe in a higher power. That's why God says, do
(32:17):
not put all your love into material possessions.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
It's just a couch who cares give it to him,
give it to her.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Right. Court is not the place for ego. It's the
place for order to move things along. Rull it quickly,
break the marriage contract, do up a new contract. The
marriage settlement agreement, notarize the signatures, and you guys are done.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
That's what I do.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
So Principal number three is clarity over conflict. Confusion creates
chaos and clarity creates calm. So I'm a private mediator private.
I work in the private. There are two different distinctions here,
there's public and private. I'm private mediator. You two come together,
(33:03):
come as close together as you can. Okay, the house
is worth five hundred thousand. We have to pay off
two hundred thousand. We have a delta of three hundred
thousand of equity. I should get one fifty, you should
get one fifty. And if you can't decide, oh I
should get one hundred and should get nothing, or I
(33:24):
should have it all. You come to meet. Because I'm
a private mediator, I help you in the private come
together and get agreements on the table. Because confusion creates
chaos and clarity creates calm.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
I get it so clear.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Most destructions comes from not understanding the process, and I
guide you through the process. Missing deadlines in a divorce
process in California, there are strict deadlines that you have
to meet, and you have to meet due process of law.
You have to disclose everything and I invite you to
(34:02):
come in here with clean hands. What that means is
disclose it all. We come in clean hands, We do
equitable things. We do the right thing because it's the
right thing to do. And that's what I preach. I'm
a preacher, and I'm a teacher above all things. So
we come in here with clean hands. We come in
here with full disclosure. We let the courts know it all,
(34:22):
so nothing pops up, and we quickly wrap.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Up the paperwork.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
So most destruction comes from not understanding the process, missing
those deadlines and poorly prepared documents. I pride myself here's
what I pride myself.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
On in my county.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Now I work in all counties in California, but in
my county, I go up to the clerk and I
file the divorce paperwork in the past, probably nine years ago. Okay,
to be completely transparent, probably nine years ago. I would
mix miss a box here. It wasn't like devastation to
the case, but I would mix miss checking a box
here or miss checking a box there.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
And so the clerks were like, what do you want
to do here?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
And I'm like, dang it, you know I miss that,
And what do you want to do here, ding it
I missed that. No, I am so good at what
I do in preparing the documents for you that I go.
They don't even check my work anymore because they know
I'm dialed in.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
I'm kind of annoying to be, you know, truthful.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I'm kind of annoying to the clerks because they're like, Okay,
we're not going to jam her up because all the
box are checked. Everything's dialed in. So Kine's legal support fits,
proper document prepar preparation, organized process, reduced friction, so cheaper,
(35:46):
cheaper paperwork is gonna not work out here.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
So clear paperwork.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Prevents emotional warfare. So I just make sure everything's dialed
in so there's no friction, reduce friction, and we're on
this clear process and I watch it very very closely.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
So principal number.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Four is respect the process. The courts have everything lined
out for a reason. There's a flow chart. Do this,
then do this, if that, then this, If this happens,
then this, And you have.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
To follow that flow chart to the t.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
But when you hire someone like me, who's a whole
Conchier's type of program, you get a notary wrapped up.
You get a registered process server wrapped up, you get
a legal document assistant.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Wrap up.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
I write out all the marriage settlement agreement. Everything's wrapped up.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
So respect the process.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Timelines, procedures and compliance matter. So the system is procedural
but not personal. Okay, you guys, it's not personal. Delays
invite enforcement and order reduces stress. So equitable equitable principle
are really really important here.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
Just making sure that we.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Do things the right way all the time.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
And so if you don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
The process, hire an attorney, hire a lawyer, hire a
barcard associate, hire one of those, or you hire someone
who's highly trained and document preparations so I can get
that out for you at a fraction of the cost.
So that's principal number four. Leading on to principal number
five is preserve the future. How you divorce determines what's next.
(37:36):
So you know what, again, I don't want you guys
to hate each other. You've been in this situation for
a while, you've been married for a while. Let's just
quickly shore up the paperwork and get things styled in
so that your life can continue to be on the
up and up. Divorce without destruction means preserving mental health,
(37:58):
protecting finances, safeguarding your children, leaving the door open for
peaceful co parenting. You don't just divorce a person. You
shape your future, So keep that in mind when you're
going through this. You regulate yourself. Make sure that you
know you follow this framework. Number one, self govern number two,
(38:22):
ego must stand down. Number three, clarity over conflict number four,
respect the process, number five, Preserve the future. If both
parties are willing to self govern and move forward respectively,
I can help you. The moment you guys engage in
an attorney, the moment you guys engage in a lawyer,
(38:43):
the moment you guys argue and you have any of
those four or five things out of alignment, I can't help,
and I want to help. I'm here to serve on
bigger scales. So if both parties are willing to self
govern and move forward respectively, I can help prepare the
paperwork and support a calmer path forward. So with that
(39:06):
being said, process is this is I mean, divorce is.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
A process, it really is.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
And you can choose destruction or you can have a
choice to have this be easy.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
I like pushing the easy buttons.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Order over chaos, clarity over conflict, self governed first, and
then file seconds, and then.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Calm people make better decisions.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
And I know that divorce can be emotional. I know
I was there once, and I sympathize with you, and
I empathize with you. And one of the things I
want to leave you with is this.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
I want to read you.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
I have, I currently have here in front of me,
the Blacks Law Dictionary six. And the reason why I
use six is a whole another beyond mindset radio show.
But I use this law book, this Black's Law Dictionary six.
And I'm looking at the word honor, and honor means
(40:07):
a lot to me in my family. One my current
husband served in the military for seventeen years, and honor
we honor people in our family. But I wanted to
read you the word honor in what that definition is
in the Blacks Law Dictionary six.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
I would invite you.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
It's the sixth edition, the centennial edition eighteen ninety one
to nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Try to get that book. It's the book.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I invested thirty five hundred dollars for this book, and
it's pretty profound. But let's look at the word honor.
The definition in this Blacks Law dictionary says to accept
a bill or exchange, or to pay a note or
a check, accept a bill at maturity according to its tenor,
(40:56):
to pay or to accept and pay, or where a
credit as engaged, to purchase or discount a draft complying
with the terms of such draft. And it says also
see dishonor. So interesting enough, honor points to dishonor, so
(41:21):
to honor. Let's go back to accept. This is what
I'm talking about. We need to honor each other and
get agreements on the table. So let me walk you
down through this process. Okay, this is pointing back down
through self governance and making sure that we are self
(41:43):
governing before we engage the court system and before we
file any paperwork.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
So please follow this direction. So take a piece of paper.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
And fold it in half and open it back up.
And on one side of the paperwork, I want you
to write honor, and then on the other side of
the paperwork, I want you to write dishonor. And under
honor you're going to have two prongs, two little lines
under honor, and you're going to have two little lines
(42:16):
under dishonor.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
So now you have a half a sheet of paper,
and you have honor and dishonor. And I like to
honor everybody I come in contact with. I honor everyone.
So under honor, under the first prong you're gonna write acceptance,
and then the second prong you're going to write counter
(42:39):
acceptance or counteroffer. Everything is an offer. So when your
spouse came to you and said I want a divorce,
you can say, okay, let's get the paperwork done, and you.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Just accepted his offer.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Everything, everything that we do is an offer.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
So I want to honor the people that I'm in
contact with. I want to honor my clients. I want
to honor my family. I don't want to dishonor them.
So under honor you have two prongs. You have acceptance
or counter acceptance, and under dishonor you have two prongs.
And the first prong you're going to have argue and
(43:22):
the second prong you're going to have silence. Okay, so
I hope you got this. Let me illustrate it again.
Top of your paper, you're going to have honor and dishonor,
and then under honor you're going to have acceptance and
(43:43):
counter acceptance and then under dishonor you're going to have
argue and silence. So here's where we're at. Let me
tell you a little story, and this relates back to divorce,
so stay with me here. My husband's says, hey, babe,
I love you so much. Can you take out the trash?
(44:03):
And I want to honor my husband. I love him
so very very much. Yes, So I accept his offer
and I get up and I take out the trash.
So I just honored my husband, right, okay? Cool? Or
I can say, you know what, I'm knee deep in
my law book right now. I got to read one
more case. I'd like to do it after I read
these next two cases, then i'll take it out after that.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Is that good?
Speaker 2 (44:25):
And he says, yeah, that's great. So I counter accepted.
I counter accepted, and so I just honored my husband.
I either accept it fully and I honored him, or
I counter accepted and I honored him. I'll give you
another story. My little son says, hey, mommy, can you
take me to ice cream? And I say yes, cool,
let's get up right now and let's go.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
To ice cream.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
And so I just accepted his offer. And I honored
my little son because I love him so much. He's ten,
he's so cute. I love my little son so much,
so I take him to ice cream.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
We have a or.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
I say, you know what, son, thank you for making
me that offer of ice cream. I would like to
have you make your bed. If you make your bed
Monday through Friday, right when you get up out of bed,
and you make that bed on Friday, I'll take you
to ice cream.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Is that fair? And he says yes.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
So I just honored him. I gave him a counter offer,
a counter acceptance, and I just honored my son. Now
the moment we drop down into dishonor.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
I'll give you this.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
So relating back to the story of the trash can
with my husband, I honored my husband because I accepted
his offer and I took out the trash immediately. Or.
I asked him that I'm going to read two more
chapters in this book and then i'll take it out
after that.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Would that be good?
Speaker 2 (45:42):
And he says yes, I honor him. Or the moment
that I dishonor my husband, I go into argument, then
that's under dishonor.
Speaker 5 (45:50):
I took out the trash last Friday. Why do I
have to take it out now, I just dishonored my husband.
Or the worst dishonor in American.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
History is silence.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
If I look at him and roll my eyes and
say nothing, I just dishonored my husband. And I never
want to dishonor my family, and I never want to
dishonor my clients. So it's either I accept your offer
fully or I give you a counter offer.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
That's where I operate. That's where Miss Tisha Marie Kane operates.
And I always ask a question with the question to
make sure that I'm always honoring you. Now, when I
go back to the story of my little son, my
little cute, little ten year old son, Mommy, can you
take me to ice cream? One, I accept his offer,
we go and take him ice cream. I accept it,
(46:39):
I honor him. Or I say make your bed and
I give him a counteroffer. What if I said, well,
you have been a bad you've had bad behavior this
whole week, and I start arguing with him, I just
dishonored my son. Or what if I looked at my
son and in my mind I thought, you're a kid.
I'm never taking you anywhere no way, man, I just
(47:01):
dishonor because I silenced my son, right, I just I
didn't even answer him. So when it's relating to divorce
and it's looking at all the things that you're going
through and all the emotions, I go back to self governance.
Self governance is so so important. Is my emotions in check?
(47:22):
Is my emotions regulated? How do I honor my family?
Speaker 3 (47:26):
So if your spouse says, hey.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
I'm only going to give you two hundred thousand of
the three of the five hundred thousand, give your spouse
a counteroffer to be in honor them. It's either accept
it fully or counteroffer. Go back and forth. And if
you guys can come so close and you can't get
to the middle, that's where you come back to me.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Where I in the private help you guys agree? Does
that make sense?
Speaker 2 (47:52):
I hope this makes sense. As you guys are traveling
down the roadway in your automobile and you're listening to
beyond Mine's at limits with tissum riy Kin, I hope
this makes sense. So I want to answer a little question.
We're getting close on time. So we had Jessica from
Temecula and she said, do we really need attorneys if
(48:13):
we agree on most things, and how Jessica, thank you
for that.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
That's really good.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
I would say I can't tell anyone what they should
or shouldn't do.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
That's what I would say.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
First off, I can't tell anyone what they should do
or shouldn't do legally. But what I would say is
that when both parties cooperate and they start acting in
good faith, many people focus on getting their paperwork prepared
correctly and staying organized. That approach often reduces the stress
(48:44):
and uncertainty in this experience. And so if you hire
someone who's well trained like I am. I am an
expert in family law, and I hold myself out as such.
That's a whole other reason why I do. When you
have someone who's fully trained, who can help you through
(49:04):
the paperwork and watch those tickers of due process of
law and make sure that we are following the process
of the courts, things.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Could be very very easy.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
So if you have an agreement on the table, that's
where you want to be. Hey, we've decided matters on
all of the things, and we're good. I do confidential divorces.
I'm currently doing two divorces for the police department because
they don't want to step afoot in court. They want
to keep their private affairs and the private. They don't
(49:36):
want to have their private life out into the public.
So they have decided to split everything, get the paperwork done.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
And never step foot in the courtroom. And so that's
why they hire me.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
So we have Wendy from Lake Forest. Thank you, Wendy.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Oh my gosh. What causes divorce.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
To become so financially destructive?
Speaker 3 (49:53):
That is a really good question.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
What I would say is financial destruction. It usually comes
from prolonged conflict and delays and emotional decision making. Everything's
delayed in the court, everything's delayed. It's like, Okay, let's
put that off for next month, and this case stays open.
I call it an accounting. When people are unprepared or
(50:19):
reacting from ego.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
The costs rise and preparation.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
Clarity, and timely action help protect financial well being. So
the more you can get your ego out of the
way and go back to where you listen to the show,
go back to the five principles on my framework. If
you follow the fine principles, Wendy, this is going.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
To really really help you through your divorce.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
And you know, it's funny when people call me and
they go, oh.
Speaker 6 (50:47):
My god, I'm good.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
I'm going through a divorce.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
I'm like, great, how can I help? Because I don't
play in that victimhood. For the reality is there were
probably so many red flags, and just because you ignored
the red flags doesn't mean that they thank you. Just
because you ignored those red flags does not mean that
(51:10):
they go away. So, and normally people agree with me,
You're right, I should have never married.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
Oh anyway, I just help people through this.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
So one more question Joanna from Foothill Ranch. I don't
even know where that is.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
But that's great.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
How do I deal with a co parent who keeps
escalating conflict? And that's good to go back to the
five framework principles. You can't control another person, but what
you can do is self govern Honor everyone, Honor him,
honor her, honor them, Stay calm, stay organized, Stay focused
on the process, not the emotion. Stay focused on the process.
(51:56):
If you guys need help, go to Kine's legal support
dot com. I'd love to be able to help you
through divorce, and I'd love to be able to support
you and not escalate conflict, get agreements on the table,
either accept their offer fully or give them a counter
offer to stay in honor, don't argue and don't silence them.
(52:18):
Communicate at the highest degree. And I know that if
it is presenting itself to you and your reality right now,
it's meant for you. So lean in, surrender, allow yourself
to just really get your ego out of the way,
and get agreements on the table. So I hope this helps,
(52:38):
and stay tuned for next week because we're going to
have more juicy stuff where we're going to talk about
publishing as a brand building tool and how to get
your voice out into the world. So this is Tisha
Marie Kane with Beyond Mindset Limits and I hope that
I've helped you today and more importantly, I hope that
(53:01):
whatever you're going through right now, that.
Speaker 3 (53:05):
You're just better because of it.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
And with that being said, I leave the airways to you.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Thank you for joining Tisha Marie Kane for Beyond Mindset Limits.
Tune in every Wednesday at four pm as a conversation
continues around mindset, legal insight, and publishing as a strategic
tool for business positioning. Visit Tishamar kine dot com or
(53:41):
Cain's Legal Support dot com for more information or to
schedule your private appointment.
Welcome to Beyond Mindset Limits with Tisha Marie Kine, where
we explore how unlocking your mindset can pave the way
for unlimited success, learn to create opportunities for legal challenges,
and transform your business and life through the power of
(00:27):
publishing as a brand building tool. And now your host,
Tisha Marie Cain.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Oh my goodness, welcome to the show today, you guys,
we are with me, Tisha Marie Kine. Welcome to Beyond
Mindset Limits, where we talk about all things, and today's
topic is divorce without destruction? Could that be possible that
we could actually have a divorce with out blazing everybody
(01:02):
in our path? And I'm wondering if we could just
ride this ride together for the next hour. I want
to preface that I am not an attorney. I cannot
and will not give.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
You legal advice.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
What I do do is I help people prepare paper
work correctly, I help them understand the process, and when
both parties are willing, I keep.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Them in a good communication, focused and calm so arguments
don't escalate.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
So today, welcome to.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Beyond Mindset Limits. I'm Tissa Marie Kane, Executive Council. I
do all things, and I want to talk about divorce.
And the reason why I want to talk about divorce
is I own Kine's legal support and I help people
break the marriage contract without destruction. And basically what I
do is I have taken over the last week, I've
(01:57):
taken seven calls about people getting ready to get a
divorce for whatever reason. And to be completely transparent, I'm
also a neuro linguistic programming practitioner, so I want to
use the correct words here.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I don't say to.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Be honest, because I'm always honest, but to be completely transparent,
I don't really care why we're breaking the marriage contract.
We're going to break the marriage contract and we're going
to do a new contract. So that's basically what I
tell them. So here in California, there's a process, and
you're going to get processed through this. You can hire
(02:34):
an attorney, and you can spend years in court, and
typically divorces they want you hire a barcard attorney. They
typically stay in argument for anywhere from three to eight years.
And so I help people break the marriage contract for
(02:54):
whatever reason and we get to do a new contract.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
So let me through this.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
When you call and you're like Okay, Hey, whatever reason
I want to get a divorce, I'm like, great, here's
the California process. Now, I do have an office in
Las Vegas.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
So even though I've already.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Beat the Nevada Supreme Court, and I'm very boastful and
loud about that, because little miss Tisha Marie Kane went
all the way up to the Nevada Supreme Court and
we won on jurisdiction alone.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
So I have many cases of.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Winning and I even hate to use the word winning,
but just doing the right thing. So I have this
Las Vegas office and I'm learning the legal legalities around
child custody divorce in Nevada as well. But I am
an expert in family law and I hold myself out
(03:49):
to be exactly that. But more importantly, I've been doing
this since two thousand and nine. I've been helping families
come together and have a meeting of the mind to
really understand that this doesn't have to.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Be messy and we don't have to hate each other.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Come on, you guys. So I'm currently doing a divorce
right now, and they had been married for twenty nine years.
We don't have to hate each other. We could just
break the marriage contract and let's do up the new contract.
So the process for California is okay. One person becomes
the petitioner, one person becomes the respondent.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
The courts don't really care.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
The more you guys agree, the better off.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
You're going to be.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
And that's one of my cliches. The more you agree,
the better off you're going to be, especially if you
have children. If you have children, you are going to
want to get an agreement.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
On the table. And let me tell you why.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
When you bring your private affairs, this is private between
you and your husband and your wife. When you bring
your private affairs to the public, the public will harvest you.
And it is a for profit organization. What do you
think their clients are you?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
It is totally you.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So the more you file paperwork and the more you
argue in court is the more that these systems are
going to remain open for profit and they're going to
make a lot of money. So the process in California
back to that is, one person is the petitioner, one
person is the respondent. We file in court, we disclose,
(05:31):
We give the other party full disclosure.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
So we do all the paperwork.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Hey, we were married on this day, we were separated
on this day. We own I own one. We have
two houses together, we have two cars together, we have
an RB, we have two dogs, and there's where we
there we are.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
So we list.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Everything out on the disclosures, so we have to understand first,
you know, what's all there. Financially, the courts want to
know about the finance, finances and all the assets and
all the expenses.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
We have to do full disclosure. So we do all the.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Paperwork to get that in. So the petitioner would hire me,
I do all of that paperwork at their discretion.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
We outline.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
You know, there's a series of questions when you hire
Kaine's legal support. I go in and I give you
an action item checklist. I need to know every single thing.
If you got a checking account, a savings.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Account, if you got a four.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
To oh one k an ira, if you've got four
horsers or ten dogs. I get to know everything.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Because we have to disclose that to the courts.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
They want to know. Then once all of that is done,
we put in the paperwork and we open the case.
Then as a registered process server, I'm also that too. Again,
I open this call as meybe in a unicorn, and
I do it all.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Because I like to make this easy.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I care about my clients. I am here to serve
on a bigger scale, so I just wrap it up
as a package, make everything easy as a registered process server.
Once we get the paperwork out from the court, I
go out to the other party and I don't do
like the.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
Movies, say you've been served.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
No, guess what, you guys probably already know that this
divorce was already coming up. You're in the season of
divorce right now. We're not handling it that way. And
in fact, if you guys want me to help you
through this, I'll help you through the process of getting
divorce and what that looks like. I facilitate order and
I don't give advice. So I just keep everything orderly,
(07:30):
everything funneled through a system to follow the court's processes. Okay,
after the other party is served, we have to wait
thirty days.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
In California.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Now there is one court in California up in Sacramento County.
They do a one day divorce, which is fantastic, But
you got to live in Sacramento County and you have
to do that up there, and you have to have
agreements already on the paper. She keeps one house, I
keep one house. She keeps one dog. I keep one dog.
She keeps one car. I keep one car. Judge, we
(08:03):
got everything on an agreement, We're good, and the judge
signs off on that one day divorce. Typically in California
it's six months in one day from the time that
we serve the other party. So I just work with
both parties here. Note we're not trying to win. We're
trying to get out of the marriage contract for whatever reason,
and we're simply going to do a marriage settlement agreement
(08:26):
and get agreements out on the table. So my goal
is not to push people into court battles. I freaking
hate the courts. I hate what they've done to people
and families, and I try to stay out of there
as much as possible, which is all the reason why
I went to law school and spent three and a
half years of my life learning the law so I
(08:47):
can come back and help you. My goal is to
help people slow down and take responsibility for their role
and move through divorce with order instead of chaos. With
that being said, I understand divorces are very emotional, and
emotions are running high. And this show is about helping
(09:11):
people come back to center before engaging the legal system.
Because when two people can self govern, when they can
regulate their emotions and they can act in good faith,
divorce just becomes a process and not a war. On
this show, I'm going to teach you what I call
(09:32):
the Divorce without Destruction principles. These five principles help people
slow down, self govern and move through divorce without emotional, financial,
or mental ruin. I'm not here to give legal advice now,
I don't do that. I'm here to help people approach
the process with order, clarity, and responsibility. We have to
(09:56):
take radical responsibility. For whatever reason we're breaking the marriage contract,
I don't care. But let's do up a new contract
that is equitable. And I speak about equity all the time.
If you could divorce without destroying your peace and your
(10:17):
finances and.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Your relationships, what would you need to do differently?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And I have some people, tons of people writing in today,
Jessica from to Mechila.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
She has a question where we'll get to.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
At the end of the show. But what I want
to go down through here is just really making.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Sure that you know the process.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
And I know that humanity is in a critical stage
right now, and people are waking up, and people are
wanting to expand. And I know that for whatever reason,
their partner isn't wanting to expand, or their partners is
stuck in a low vibration or a negative mindset and
(10:59):
they don't resonatemore. I don't have to hate you. We're
just not vibing on.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
The same vibe anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Right, And so you come to me. I do all
the paperwork at your discretion, and we get it down.
So after we serve the other party, we wait thirty
days and they have to put their paperwork in now
they can or they don't have to.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
And typically I say, don't put it in.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I mean, if you guys want a divorce, don't answer this,
and we'll go ahead and default and move down here
through quickly. California law says six months and one day.
But the courts some counties work very quickly. I work
in all counties. Some counties work very quickly, and some
counties don't. They'll give you one court date. It's a
(11:42):
marriage settlement conference. They'll give you one court date to say, hey,
what's going on? Because in the past, what has happened
was people open divorce paperwork and then they don't show
up because they got back together. And so the courts
don't want to keep, you know, an open case on
their calendar if they're not one.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
To move forward.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
But I move so quickly, and that's one of my
gifts is I move fast, aligned, action packed person. I
get this, get in, get in, let's get this done.
Let's tab this take six months in one day. But
typically we move quick enough where I'm working with both
parties and saying, hey, what would you agree to and
(12:21):
both parties we come together. We do a marriage settlement
agreement and I notarized his signature. I notarized her signature. Well,
both partners in this I notarize. I'm also a notary.
I notarize their signatures. Then we put the marriage settlement
agreement into the case with the judgment, and we're done.
(12:43):
And yes, I talk a good talk.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I know the.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
System, I know how quickly it can go. It sounds good,
and it also I also know that there are emotional
spirals in that. So today on beyond mindset limits, I
want to give you divorce without destruction your framework. So
if you're listening, this show is meant for you.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
And I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Because Tisha Marie Kane can help you. Now here's what
I can't help though. I had a Discovery call yesterday
and the wife said, you know what, Tisha, I am
just done.
Speaker 5 (13:19):
With his full crap and I want to take him for.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
All he's worse.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I want his whole four to oh one k I
want all the houses and I want to fight him. Okay, no, no, no, no, okay,
thank you for all of that language. And I don't
think this is a good match. I think you need
to go get an attorney, and I think you need
to lawyer up. And they're gonna fight with you, and
they are going to fight and they're going to argue
(13:43):
their point and they're going to keep this account open.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
So that's what they do.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Nope, I shut the accounting down. No one's getting paid.
You guys can spend whatever you want to spend. If
you want to spend sixteen thousand dollars, I think the
retainer right now in California is anywhere from five thousand
to nine thousand dollars to retain an attorney, or you
can come with Kaine's legal support. We do it a
(14:10):
fraction of the cost because.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
We know what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
We're clearly leaders in the community, and we're not here
to rip off the American people. We're not here for that.
We're here to get agreements and meanings of the minds
together on the table. I want an agreement, and so like,
I have been strategically placed in this role for a reason,
because I am a master communicator, and I will call
(14:37):
people out when they are out of alignment. I will say, nope,
that's why this discovery call with this lady just the
other day, I'm like, you know what, this is not
going to be a good match. I'm not here to fight.
We're not fighting anything. We're breaking the marriage contract and
we're doing the new contract. And so she thanks me
for her time, and she went on her.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
About her way.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
But I have a framework that will help you go
down through your divorce and manage this. And I also
said that I don't like bringing my private affairs to
the public, and these court systems are the public if
you especially have you got children involved. And you know what,
(15:19):
I got my own story why I ran right into
law school because I was dumb. You know, I think
Maya Angelou said, once you know better, you do better.
And I remember I have an ex husband, and I
remember he wanted to take our daughter to Disneyland and
it was on my weekend and I said no because
(15:40):
my ego was in the way. And my ex said great,
I'll see you in court. And I said great. And
I tell you it was horrible ever since, and I thought,
what is so wonky? What is going on? I don't understand.
I'm very logical, I'm very small, I have superior intelligence,
(16:02):
and I don't know what's happening right now. So I
ran into law school to figure it out. And I
tell you I certainly figured it out. And so what
I do, because I'm so passionate about keeping you outside
of court, I get agreements on the table and I
listen for language like I want to fight him, I
(16:24):
want to take him for all it's worth. And so
the framework that I deploy is, first, we do emotional
non destruction. We unregulated emotion is what destroys families, not
divorce itself. When people pause and they take a breath
(16:45):
and they respond instead of react. And that's what I
talked about on last week's show, is responding instead of reacting,
outcomes start to change and so there's calm communication, there's
reduced hostility, and they stay out.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Of emotional spirals. So this is what I do.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I don't want you guys to hate each other. You
had a soul contract for a reason, and hey, we're
going to go on our separate ways. We're gonna do
something different because this ain't working out anymore. And so
I just help you do the paperwork and get it
done easy peasing. Instead of taking the five to nine
thousand dollars. You guys can go to Tahiti and live
(17:28):
in an underwater bungalow, or you can hire an attorney
and fight in court for the next three to eight years.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
And that's what Barquard attorneys we.
Speaker 5 (17:36):
Are trained to argue. So when I was in law school,
they're like, Tisha.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Argue your point, argue and I was like, ooh, what
happens when I argue? Oh no, my client needs all
of the four oh one k chi ching chi ching
chi ching. I keep the accounting.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Open, I keep more court dates.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
All on the calendar. As a bar card attorney, I'm
getting paid. I do not have my bar card and
I am not an attorney. And I don't hold myself
out as that, but I do know the law, and
I know all laws. What laws are you talking about today?
Because you know what I know me, and I know
where I come from, and I know my grassroots, and
(18:24):
I know there's only ten.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Laws that I live by.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
There's only ten, and one of those laws is love
my neighbor. Let's talk about that too. I had a
client call. This was a young I gotta tell you
because it was so great. There was this young kid,
he was twenty three. He says, Tisha, I want to
take my neighbor to small claims court.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Can you help me?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I said what I said, tell me more, tell me more,
and he said, yeah, he goes my neighbor. And I
have stories upon stories. Okay, I've been blessed with more
words than the Bible concordinates because I live through this.
And this is what I talk about is I have
the education. I have seventeen years of college, I have
(19:07):
the experience, and I just deploy out this wisdom.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I have the wisdom. So I'm talking to this.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Twenty three year old who wants to take his neighbor
to small claims court.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I said, okay, cool, we can take the neighbor to
small claims court. That'd be great, I said, but tell
me more before we go. And he goes, you know,
I work the nights, and he goes, well, I.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Sleep during the day, and the neighbor underneath me keeps
having their security door slam and it keeps waking me
up every day and I can't sleep, and it's just ridiculous.
And I just want to take them to small claims court.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, okay, here's what I do.
I get agreements on the table, so you can stay
(19:49):
out of these court systems. Because the court systems are
a for profit into tea. Let's stay out of them,
all of these systems. We need to stay out of
the systems and work and take radical responsibility. I said, Okay,
if you really want to take them to small claims court,
I said, I'd like to make an agreement with you
(20:11):
right now and make you an offer.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
He said, great, what is it?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I said, I will reduce my rate by fifty percent,
And but we got to have the honor system. You
got to do exactly what I say. And if you
do exactly what I say, and we still want to
take them to Small Claims court. Let's do that and
I will reduce my rate by fifty percent. He goes, Okay, Tisha,
tell me what you got. I said, okay, here's what
(20:35):
I said.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Look around your house. I said, what do you got?
You got any cookies? Do you got any chips? He goes.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
You know, I don't make a whole lot of money.
I don't have a lot of money. I'm like, okay,
and this sounds dumb already, because you want to take
your neighbor to court and you want to pay me
to do all the paperwork, but you don't have a
whole lot of money right now, okay, I said, why
don't you do this? I said, look around. You got
to have something.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
He goes, you know what I love the I have
some rice. I have this favorite.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Rice meal, boxed rice meal that I love. He goes,
I got ten boxes of that. I said, great, great,
I want you to take five boxes of the ten boxes,
and I want you to take your little happy butt downstairs,
and I want you to go and knock.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
And he goes, are you serious?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
And I'm like, yep, I want you to knock. He goes, okay,
And then what I said, I want you to say.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
Hey, you know, I don't think we've met before.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I'm your neighbor that lives upstairs. And what I want
you to do is this. I want you to make
friends with him and just say, I wonder if my
security door when I slam it upstairs, if it keeps
you guys awake, or if it becomes a problem. Do
you know if it's really loud when I slam my door?
And see what they say? And he goes, okay, and
then what And I said, why don't you ask them
(21:48):
if you can buy that little piece. I don't know
what it's called, but it's that little piece on the
door that makes the door do it like a soft shut.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
It's like five dive dollars at home depot.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Why don't you buy that little piece on the door
and see if they would allow you to buy that
and go from there. So what he did was he
walked down there and he asked him and I said,
now you have to do exactly what I say, and
then you have to follow up with me, and then
you have to report back to me. And if they're
still being rude and you're not able to sleep, let's.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Take their butts to court and we'll most likely win. Okay, cool,
So he does exactly that.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Well, I tell you he never called me back. But
then a couple months later he left me a review
and said, Tisha, thank you so much. He goes, that
absolutely worked, and I just want to leave a good
review here because you kept me out of court. And
more importantly, I want you to know that I made
friends with those neighbors, and I was just acting out
(22:53):
of haste because I was tired and I was emotional,
and I thought they were doing it to be mean
to me. And he goes, once I got to know them,
they're the nicest neighbors ever. And so I just pointed
them back to radical responsibility and just communication at higher levels.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
And this is what I do.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I break it down so it tends to be so
simple and so easy that people it gets to be digestible.
It gets to be digestible so people can really understand.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
What's real here.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
So I just take them down through the process of
this divorce framework. And I tell you right now, that
changed that whole man's life, and more importantly, it changed
mine because I know that I'm a master communicator. So
we're going to get ready to take a break. I
want you to hang tight. We're going to come back.
And why we take this break. Listen for these messages
(23:49):
and we're going to come right back after the break.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
What if the secret edge separating good leaders from exceptional
ones isn't strategy, experience, or intelligence, but mindset. Behind closed doors,
many elite C suite leaders and senior executives rely on
a powerful, yet rarely discussed tool, hypnosis. With over twenty
two years of experience, Executive Council Tisha Marie Kane works
(24:40):
with C suite leaders and high performing executives to quiet
internal noise, sharpened decision making, release unconscious limitations and success blocks,
and operate from a place of calm authority, especially under pressure.
The most effective leaders don't push harder. They lead from alignment, clarity,
and control. To schedule your private hypnotherapy appointment today, visit
(25:02):
Tisha Marie Kine dot com.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Did you know most people pay thousands of dollars more
than they need to for legal services. That's why choosing
the right team matters more than you think. With over
twenty six years of experience, Cain's Legal Support proudly serves
California and the City of Las Vegas with personalized legal support.
(25:35):
We handle everything from divorce mediation, family law, custody matters,
document preparation, and landlord tenant issues. Plus Cain's Legal Support
offers notary public wedding efficient services and black line security
for executive protection, residential security, and celebrity security where we
(26:00):
turn monitoring into action. So whatever your legal and security
needs are, Cain's Legal Support is your concierge legal and
protection services every step of the way. Contact Caine's Legal
Support today at Caine's Legalsupport dot com for personalized legal
(26:22):
and security solutions that fit your needs.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
And we are back with Tisha Marie Kine with Beyond
Mindset Limits, and today we are talking about divorce without
destruction and I am passed. I hope you guys can
feel my passion through this because I know how emotional
divorce can be, especially when you've had a soul contract
(26:54):
with someone for over twenty years. It becomes a process.
And that's why I like to help families who are
going through this trying time. Because I'm a master communicator,
I help people get agreements out on the table.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
So before the break.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I was talking to you about the client who came
to me who wanted to sue his neighbor, and he
didn't sue his neighbor. And in fact, he became best
friends with the neighbor because we got agreements out on
the table. So this is what I help you do
with divorce is divorce doesn't have to ruin everybody in sight,
(27:32):
ruin families, ruin everything. And so I have deployed five
principles of self governance for separation, and so order starts within.
You really have to take a deep breath and say, Okay,
I understand the other party has asked for a divorce.
(27:55):
Maybe I don't want this, maybe I do, but you
know what, I'm in a state of surrender and allowing
things to play out in my life the way that God,
if you believe in a higher power, has for me.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
So before any.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Paperwork is filed, or before any message is sent, or
any decision is made, I would invite you to regulate
your emotions, pause, and just make sure that you check
in on your behavior and set your intentions for resolution,
not revenge. I mean, gosh, you love this person, and now,
(28:36):
for whatever reason, we're just going to go our separate ways.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
We don't need.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Revenge and accept personal responsibility. If you can't govern your emotions,
the system will govern you. And you know what, I'm
a product of that my emotions. I wasn't trained on
how to have this, how to go through a divorce.
I wasn't trained, and the system governed me because I would.
(29:03):
I did not get my ego out of the way
and let my daughter's dad take her to Disneyland because
I was in control for the week. So stupid, you know. Now,
ten years later, I'm like, I was so stupid. But
you know what, this is where forgiveness comes in for
self because you know better when you do better, right,
And so number one is self governed. Before you separate,
(29:28):
and get some coaching. Get it a life coach. Get
get someone who can coach you through you know, it's
a whole season. It's a different season. So get someone
to help you through the emotions so that you can regulate.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Number two.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
You gotta have that ego. The ego must stand down.
And I'm talking from experience.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I am the most authentic person you will find because man,
I'll put my hand up every day.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
My ego was so up there.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Like I'm gonna win you know when I call it
the anti family court for a reason. They're not in
there to help get agreements on the table.
Speaker 6 (30:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
And the more they keep you arguing, the more the
judges get paid, the clerks get paid, the attorneys get paid.
They'll throw minors counsel on you. And I call it, frankly,
a pocket pal industry. I call it a pocket pal syndrome. Okay,
now you guys need you guys need couples counseling. Oh oh,
(30:31):
now you need individual counseling. And now you need parenting counseling.
And now your child needs a therapy. It's disgusting. You
guys know what is best for your family, and especially
if you have children.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
This is what I say.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
God entrusted this child with you, the mother, and you
the father or whatever blended family that you have, and
you're raising this child. God entrusted this child with you.
It is your responsibility to handle your affairs in the private.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
The moment you take your.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Private affairs to the public, I guarantee you chi ching
chi ching, chiching. There's a Duns and Bradstreet number for
every courthouse in California where there is a for profit
organization they are making money off of you. So ego
stand down. Your ego shows up when you're needing to win.
(31:33):
Your ego shows up when you're needing to be right,
and your ego shows up when you're needing to punish
the other person. So I talk about divorce without destruction,
and that requires humility. It requires coming in with good faith.
It requires a willingness to compromise.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Who cares, you know what.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
At this stage of my game, I'm going to be
tish a five point zero my birds. This year I'm
gonna be fifty years old. I'm gonna be Tisha five
point zero. And at fifty, if I can pay for peace,
I will pay for peace. Like I am not, this
is it don't mean anything. All this material stuff. That's
why God says. And I am not religious, but I
believe in a higher power. That's why God says, do
(32:17):
not put all your love into material possessions.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
It's just a couch who cares give it to him,
give it to her.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Right. Court is not the place for ego. It's the
place for order to move things along. Rull it quickly,
break the marriage contract, do up a new contract. The
marriage settlement agreement, notarize the signatures, and you guys are done.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
That's what I do.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
So Principal number three is clarity over conflict. Confusion creates
chaos and clarity creates calm. So I'm a private mediator private.
I work in the private. There are two different distinctions here,
there's public and private. I'm private mediator. You two come together,
(33:03):
come as close together as you can. Okay, the house
is worth five hundred thousand. We have to pay off
two hundred thousand. We have a delta of three hundred
thousand of equity. I should get one fifty, you should
get one fifty. And if you can't decide, oh I
should get one hundred and should get nothing, or I
(33:24):
should have it all. You come to meet. Because I'm
a private mediator, I help you in the private come
together and get agreements on the table. Because confusion creates
chaos and clarity creates calm.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
I get it so clear.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Most destructions comes from not understanding the process, and I
guide you through the process. Missing deadlines in a divorce
process in California, there are strict deadlines that you have
to meet, and you have to meet due process of law.
You have to disclose everything and I invite you to
(34:02):
come in here with clean hands. What that means is
disclose it all. We come in clean hands, We do
equitable things. We do the right thing because it's the
right thing to do. And that's what I preach. I'm
a preacher, and I'm a teacher above all things. So
we come in here with clean hands. We come in
here with full disclosure. We let the courts know it all,
(34:22):
so nothing pops up, and we quickly wrap.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Up the paperwork.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
So most destruction comes from not understanding the process, missing
those deadlines and poorly prepared documents. I pride myself here's
what I pride myself.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
On in my county.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Now I work in all counties in California, but in
my county, I go up to the clerk and I
file the divorce paperwork in the past, probably nine years ago. Okay,
to be completely transparent, probably nine years ago. I would
mix miss a box here. It wasn't like devastation to
the case, but I would mix miss checking a box
here or miss checking a box there.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
And so the clerks were like, what do you want
to do here?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
And I'm like, dang it, you know I miss that,
And what do you want to do here, ding it
I missed that. No, I am so good at what
I do in preparing the documents for you that I go.
They don't even check my work anymore because they know
I'm dialed in.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
I'm kind of annoying to be, you know, truthful.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I'm kind of annoying to the clerks because they're like, Okay,
we're not going to jam her up because all the
box are checked. Everything's dialed in. So Kine's legal support fits,
proper document prepar preparation, organized process, reduced friction, so cheaper,
(35:46):
cheaper paperwork is gonna not work out here.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
So clear paperwork.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Prevents emotional warfare. So I just make sure everything's dialed
in so there's no friction, reduce friction, and we're on
this clear process and I watch it very very closely.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
So principal number.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Four is respect the process. The courts have everything lined
out for a reason. There's a flow chart. Do this,
then do this, if that, then this, If this happens,
then this, And you have.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
To follow that flow chart to the t.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
But when you hire someone like me, who's a whole
Conchier's type of program, you get a notary wrapped up.
You get a registered process server wrapped up, you get
a legal document assistant.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Wrap up.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
I write out all the marriage settlement agreement. Everything's wrapped up.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
So respect the process.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Timelines, procedures and compliance matter. So the system is procedural
but not personal. Okay, you guys, it's not personal. Delays
invite enforcement and order reduces stress. So equitable equitable principle
are really really important here.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
Just making sure that we.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Do things the right way all the time.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
And so if you don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
The process, hire an attorney, hire a lawyer, hire a
barcard associate, hire one of those, or you hire someone
who's highly trained and document preparations so I can get
that out for you at a fraction of the cost.
So that's principal number four. Leading on to principal number
five is preserve the future. How you divorce determines what's next.
(37:36):
So you know what, again, I don't want you guys
to hate each other. You've been in this situation for
a while, you've been married for a while. Let's just
quickly shore up the paperwork and get things styled in
so that your life can continue to be on the
up and up. Divorce without destruction means preserving mental health,
(37:58):
protecting finances, safeguarding your children, leaving the door open for
peaceful co parenting. You don't just divorce a person. You
shape your future, So keep that in mind when you're
going through this. You regulate yourself. Make sure that you
know you follow this framework. Number one, self govern number two,
(38:22):
ego must stand down. Number three, clarity over conflict number four,
respect the process, number five, Preserve the future. If both
parties are willing to self govern and move forward respectively,
I can help you. The moment you guys engage in
an attorney, the moment you guys engage in a lawyer,
(38:43):
the moment you guys argue and you have any of
those four or five things out of alignment, I can't help,
and I want to help. I'm here to serve on
bigger scales. So if both parties are willing to self
govern and move forward respectively, I can help prepare the
paperwork and support a calmer path forward. So with that
(39:06):
being said, process is this is I mean, divorce is.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
A process, it really is.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
And you can choose destruction or you can have a
choice to have this be easy.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
I like pushing the easy buttons.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Order over chaos, clarity over conflict, self governed first, and
then file seconds, and then.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Calm people make better decisions.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
And I know that divorce can be emotional. I know
I was there once, and I sympathize with you, and
I empathize with you. And one of the things I
want to leave you with is this.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
I want to read you.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
I have, I currently have here in front of me,
the Blacks Law Dictionary six. And the reason why I
use six is a whole another beyond mindset radio show.
But I use this law book, this Black's Law Dictionary six.
And I'm looking at the word honor, and honor means
(40:07):
a lot to me in my family. One my current
husband served in the military for seventeen years, and honor
we honor people in our family. But I wanted to
read you the word honor in what that definition is
in the Blacks Law Dictionary six.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
I would invite you.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
It's the sixth edition, the centennial edition eighteen ninety one
to nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Try to get that book. It's the book.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I invested thirty five hundred dollars for this book, and
it's pretty profound. But let's look at the word honor.
The definition in this Blacks Law dictionary says to accept
a bill or exchange, or to pay a note or
a check, accept a bill at maturity according to its tenor,
(40:56):
to pay or to accept and pay, or where a
credit as engaged, to purchase or discount a draft complying
with the terms of such draft. And it says also
see dishonor. So interesting enough, honor points to dishonor, so
(41:21):
to honor. Let's go back to accept. This is what
I'm talking about. We need to honor each other and
get agreements on the table. So let me walk you
down through this process. Okay, this is pointing back down
through self governance and making sure that we are self
(41:43):
governing before we engage the court system and before we
file any paperwork.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
So please follow this direction. So take a piece of paper.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
And fold it in half and open it back up.
And on one side of the paperwork, I want you
to write honor, and then on the other side of
the paperwork, I want you to write dishonor. And under
honor you're going to have two prongs, two little lines
under honor, and you're going to have two little lines
(42:16):
under dishonor.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
So now you have a half a sheet of paper,
and you have honor and dishonor. And I like to
honor everybody I come in contact with. I honor everyone.
So under honor, under the first prong you're gonna write acceptance,
and then the second prong you're going to write counter
(42:39):
acceptance or counteroffer. Everything is an offer. So when your
spouse came to you and said I want a divorce,
you can say, okay, let's get the paperwork done, and you.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Just accepted his offer.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Everything, everything that we do is an offer.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
So I want to honor the people that I'm in
contact with. I want to honor my clients. I want
to honor my family. I don't want to dishonor them.
So under honor you have two prongs. You have acceptance
or counter acceptance, and under dishonor you have two prongs.
And the first prong you're going to have argue and
(43:22):
the second prong you're going to have silence. Okay, so
I hope you got this. Let me illustrate it again.
Top of your paper, you're going to have honor and dishonor,
and then under honor you're going to have acceptance and
(43:43):
counter acceptance and then under dishonor you're going to have
argue and silence. So here's where we're at. Let me
tell you a little story, and this relates back to divorce,
so stay with me here. My husband's says, hey, babe,
I love you so much. Can you take out the trash?
(44:03):
And I want to honor my husband. I love him
so very very much. Yes, So I accept his offer
and I get up and I take out the trash.
So I just honored my husband, right, okay? Cool? Or
I can say, you know what, I'm knee deep in
my law book right now. I got to read one
more case. I'd like to do it after I read
these next two cases, then i'll take it out after that.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Is that good?
Speaker 2 (44:25):
And he says, yeah, that's great. So I counter accepted.
I counter accepted, and so I just honored my husband.
I either accept it fully and I honored him, or
I counter accepted and I honored him. I'll give you
another story. My little son says, hey, mommy, can you
take me to ice cream? And I say yes, cool,
let's get up right now and let's go.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
To ice cream.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
And so I just accepted his offer. And I honored
my little son because I love him so much. He's ten,
he's so cute. I love my little son so much,
so I take him to ice cream.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
We have a or.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
I say, you know what, son, thank you for making
me that offer of ice cream. I would like to
have you make your bed. If you make your bed
Monday through Friday, right when you get up out of bed,
and you make that bed on Friday, I'll take you
to ice cream.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Is that fair? And he says yes.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
So I just honored him. I gave him a counter offer,
a counter acceptance, and I just honored my son. Now
the moment we drop down into dishonor.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
I'll give you this.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
So relating back to the story of the trash can
with my husband, I honored my husband because I accepted
his offer and I took out the trash immediately. Or.
I asked him that I'm going to read two more
chapters in this book and then i'll take it out
after that.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Would that be good?
Speaker 2 (45:42):
And he says yes, I honor him. Or the moment
that I dishonor my husband, I go into argument, then
that's under dishonor.
Speaker 5 (45:50):
I took out the trash last Friday. Why do I
have to take it out now, I just dishonored my husband.
Or the worst dishonor in American.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
History is silence.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
If I look at him and roll my eyes and
say nothing, I just dishonored my husband. And I never
want to dishonor my family, and I never want to
dishonor my clients. So it's either I accept your offer
fully or I give you a counter offer.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
That's where I operate. That's where Miss Tisha Marie Kane operates.
And I always ask a question with the question to
make sure that I'm always honoring you. Now, when I
go back to the story of my little son, my
little cute, little ten year old son, Mommy, can you
take me to ice cream? One, I accept his offer,
we go and take him ice cream. I accept it,
(46:39):
I honor him. Or I say make your bed and
I give him a counteroffer. What if I said, well,
you have been a bad you've had bad behavior this
whole week, and I start arguing with him, I just
dishonored my son. Or what if I looked at my
son and in my mind I thought, you're a kid.
I'm never taking you anywhere no way, man, I just
(47:01):
dishonor because I silenced my son, right, I just I
didn't even answer him. So when it's relating to divorce
and it's looking at all the things that you're going
through and all the emotions, I go back to self governance.
Self governance is so so important. Is my emotions in check?
(47:22):
Is my emotions regulated? How do I honor my family?
Speaker 3 (47:26):
So if your spouse says, hey.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
I'm only going to give you two hundred thousand of
the three of the five hundred thousand, give your spouse
a counteroffer to be in honor them. It's either accept
it fully or counteroffer. Go back and forth. And if
you guys can come so close and you can't get
to the middle, that's where you come back to me.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Where I in the private help you guys agree? Does
that make sense?
Speaker 2 (47:52):
I hope this makes sense. As you guys are traveling
down the roadway in your automobile and you're listening to
beyond Mine's at limits with tissum riy Kin, I hope
this makes sense. So I want to answer a little question.
We're getting close on time. So we had Jessica from
Temecula and she said, do we really need attorneys if
(48:13):
we agree on most things, and how Jessica, thank you
for that.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
That's really good.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
I would say I can't tell anyone what they should
or shouldn't do.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
That's what I would say.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
First off, I can't tell anyone what they should do
or shouldn't do legally. But what I would say is
that when both parties cooperate and they start acting in
good faith, many people focus on getting their paperwork prepared
correctly and staying organized. That approach often reduces the stress
(48:44):
and uncertainty in this experience. And so if you hire
someone who's well trained like I am. I am an
expert in family law, and I hold myself out as such.
That's a whole other reason why I do. When you
have someone who's fully trained, who can help you through
(49:04):
the paperwork and watch those tickers of due process of
law and make sure that we are following the process
of the courts, things.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Could be very very easy.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
So if you have an agreement on the table, that's
where you want to be. Hey, we've decided matters on
all of the things, and we're good. I do confidential divorces.
I'm currently doing two divorces for the police department because
they don't want to step afoot in court. They want
to keep their private affairs and the private. They don't
(49:36):
want to have their private life out into the public.
So they have decided to split everything, get the paperwork done.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
And never step foot in the courtroom. And so that's
why they hire me.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
So we have Wendy from Lake Forest. Thank you, Wendy.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Oh my gosh. What causes divorce.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
To become so financially destructive?
Speaker 3 (49:53):
That is a really good question.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
What I would say is financial destruction. It usually comes
from prolonged conflict and delays and emotional decision making. Everything's
delayed in the court, everything's delayed. It's like, Okay, let's
put that off for next month, and this case stays open.
I call it an accounting. When people are unprepared or
(50:19):
reacting from ego.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
The costs rise and preparation.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
Clarity, and timely action help protect financial well being. So
the more you can get your ego out of the
way and go back to where you listen to the show,
go back to the five principles on my framework. If
you follow the fine principles, Wendy, this is going.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
To really really help you through your divorce.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
And you know, it's funny when people call me and
they go, oh.
Speaker 6 (50:47):
My god, I'm good.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
I'm going through a divorce.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
I'm like, great, how can I help? Because I don't
play in that victimhood. For the reality is there were
probably so many red flags, and just because you ignored
the red flags doesn't mean that they thank you. Just
because you ignored those red flags does not mean that
(51:10):
they go away. So, and normally people agree with me,
You're right, I should have never married.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
Oh anyway, I just help people through this.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
So one more question Joanna from Foothill Ranch. I don't
even know where that is.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
But that's great.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
How do I deal with a co parent who keeps
escalating conflict? And that's good to go back to the
five framework principles. You can't control another person, but what
you can do is self govern Honor everyone, Honor him,
honor her, honor them, Stay calm, stay organized, Stay focused
on the process, not the emotion. Stay focused on the process.
(51:56):
If you guys need help, go to Kine's legal support
dot com. I'd love to be able to help you
through divorce, and I'd love to be able to support
you and not escalate conflict, get agreements on the table,
either accept their offer fully or give them a counter
offer to stay in honor, don't argue and don't silence them.
(52:18):
Communicate at the highest degree. And I know that if
it is presenting itself to you and your reality right now,
it's meant for you. So lean in, surrender, allow yourself
to just really get your ego out of the way,
and get agreements on the table. So I hope this helps,
(52:38):
and stay tuned for next week because we're going to
have more juicy stuff where we're going to talk about
publishing as a brand building tool and how to get
your voice out into the world. So this is Tisha
Marie Kane with Beyond Mindset Limits and I hope that
I've helped you today and more importantly, I hope that
(53:01):
whatever you're going through right now, that.
Speaker 3 (53:05):
You're just better because of it.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
And with that being said, I leave the airways to you.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Thank you for joining Tisha Marie Kane for Beyond Mindset Limits.
Tune in every Wednesday at four pm as a conversation
continues around mindset, legal insight, and publishing as a strategic
tool for business positioning. Visit Tishamar kine dot com or
(53:41):
Cain's Legal Support dot com for more information or to
schedule your private appointment.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Kingdom of Fraud
It’s the unlikeliest of criminal partnerships: a devout polygamist from an insular Utah sect joining forces with a shadowy Armenian tycoon from LA. The result - a billion dollar fraud conspiracy. In Kingdom of Fraud, investigative reporter Michele McPhee traces the origins of the extraordinary alliance between Jacob Kingston and Levon Termendzhyan. Together, the two men trigger the largest tax investigation in American history and weave around themselves a web of dirty cops, influential political relationships and transnational money laundering. All this is set against the backdrop of Jacob Kingston’s clan – The Order. A powerful and secretive polygamist organization in Salt Lake City. To whom Jacob is desperate to prove his worth. Kingdom of Fraud is produced by Novel for iHeart Podcasts. For more from Novel, visit https://novel.audio/. You can listen to new episodes of Kingdom of Fraud completely ad-free and 1 week early with an iHeart True Crime+ subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Open your Apple Podcasts app, search for “iHeart True Crime+, and subscribe today!