November 11, 2025 • 45 mins
What if your business isn't your destiny, but your detour? In this vulnerable and fiery roundtable, four powerhouse women—Bri Seeley, Annie P. Ruggles, Sarah Khan, and Denise Lee—share their raw, real experiences of letting go of businesses that no longer served them.
You'll hear:
Be sure to subscribe to get every episode of Big Goal Energy delivered straight to your device, and please leave a rating and review. If you have any questions you'd like covered on a future episode, you can email us info@briseeley.com.
You'll hear:
- How to recognize misalignment in your business
- What it really feels like to walk away from success
- How to reclaim your joy and build without burnout
- Why this shift may be more collective than you think
- Subscribe for free on Substack: http://briseeley13.substack.com
- Invest in a deep dive to remove the subconscious blocks throttling your big goal energy and keeping you from your highest vision of success: https://forms.gle/n789b51eyvGNS1mC7
Be sure to subscribe to get every episode of Big Goal Energy delivered straight to your device, and please leave a rating and review. If you have any questions you'd like covered on a future episode, you can email us info@briseeley.com.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Big Goal Energy. Bri Seely here, hostess of the
podcast that you currently have in your ears.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
If you are a regular listener and or a subscriber
to my newsletter or any of the things, You've seen
a lot of content coming out for me this year
talking about how I am essentially burning down my business again.
Now it's not fully being burned down. I don't want
to get into semantics about where it's going or what's happening,
because that's not the point of this. The point of
(00:27):
this episode is as I've been in the process of
things not working in my business and questioning what's next
and doing the identity work within myself, I've been speaking
to women, colleagues, friends, friends of friends, to people that
I just know and have in my life, and it
(00:47):
seems like almost every single woman I'm talking to is
going through a similar thing. So I began to ask myself.
So I began to ask myself, is this really like
is this a meeting or is this a universal thing?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
And what if it's not a me thing?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Like, how can I bring together other voices of women
who are experiencing similar things to help put in your
ears that you're not alone and give you tools and
resources and things that you need to help you be
better through this process of death and rebirth, reconstruction, all
(01:22):
of the things. So I called up three women that
I know and deeply love and respect and said, Hey,
would you be willing to talk about how you've burnt
it all down this year, how you've been recalibrating, how
you've been connecting in with what's next for you and
having the grace to let go of what you know
no longer serves you. So this is that conversation. We
(01:46):
just had a beautiful hour long discussion around all of
these things. How do you know when it's time for
a recalibration, a pivot, a chapter.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Ending, a new one beginning?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
What tools do you lean on in these times to
help yourself not go crazy and not keep pushing?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
How do you how do you take the next steps?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So the episode you're about to listen to is truly
near and dear to my heart because this has been
my twenty twenty So more than anything, I just want
you to listen to this episode and know that if
this is your experience this year as well, you're not alone.
So many of us are going through it. In fact,
I share a hypothesis in this episode about what I
(02:28):
think is going on and why I think this is
happening right now. So listen up, get a journal out,
grab a pen, takes notes, and as always, if you
have any AHAs that you want to digest or jam over,
shoot me a message on Instagram. Would love to hear
from you. We'd love to talk about it and just
witness you going through the process, because the more that
(02:50):
we can know that we're not alone, the easier the
process is going to get. Enjoy the episode. You were
never meant for a small life. You have bold ideas,
audacious dreams and visions that keep you up at night.
But the truth is, big goals don't come with step
by step instructions, and success doesn't come from doing more.
(03:11):
It comes from becoming more. Welcome to Big Goal Energy
a podcast for high achieving women who are done shrinking, striving,
and second guessing and are ready to defy reality in
pursuit of the life they actually want. I'm your hostess,
free Sealy, goal architect, subconscious strategist and your permission slip
(03:31):
to want what you want. Join me as we go
beyond the service level success to explore the mindset, identity,
and inner work required to bring your biggest, most delulu
goals to life. This is your space to be seen,
to be expanded, and to remember that you are not
alone on this journey. Let's get into it. Hello listeners,
(03:53):
Welcome back to Big Goal Energy. I am so honored
and thrilled to be joined by three super incredible women today.
I have had individual conversations with each of these women
about where they're at this year, what they've been experienced,
where I'm at this year, what I've been experiencing, And
so I thought, why not get us all on a
conversation together and talk about, like, what does the reinvention
(04:16):
process truly look like? What does it include? What are
we bumping up against? All the things? All these women
are super brilliant and super transparent and honest, and I'm
just really excited to have this conversation. So, miss Anti
p Ruggles, would you kick us off with a quick
introduction and a state of the business status update on
what's happening in your world?
Speaker 4 (04:38):
You betcha, Hey, y'all, I'm Anti p Ruggles.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
I will do my normal intro and then I will
tell you why that normal intro isn't quite right anymore.
But I am a fractional CMO and sales trainer and
marketing realigner.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
For very small businesses.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I'm talking solopreneurs and small teams, and I love that.
I've been doing that since two thousand and eleven, so
it's been almost all of my adult life, and I
have spent most of that time at capacity, which I'm
grateful for, but it has taken a big toll on
my health. And also, I am routinely one of the
(05:16):
first things people cut when the purse strings get tightened,
because consulting is not cheap, and so totally understandably, budget
cuts affect me in a super big way. Twenty five
has been a very, very tight year, and I had
two options. I can either keep chasing fractional CMO clients
that keep me super busy and keep the.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Bills paid but that's about it.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Or I can just sort of embrace being broke and
see what I can do to slim down the consultancy
and do what I truly love, which is interview people.
And so I'm launching a whole bunch of new shows
and I'm interviewing a whole bunch of new people, and
I am currently in that It's super exciting place between
(06:02):
living the damn thing and monetizing the damn thing. And
I'm trying not to freak out too much about monetizing
the damn thing, which is strange because I've been a
professional strategist where all roads led to money for oh forever,
and so now it's kind of interesting to be like, wait,
I can just create for creation's sake.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
So that's me.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Love it, Thank you? So, Sarah, will you go next?
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Sure?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Hi.
Speaker 6 (06:24):
I'm Sarah Khan.
Speaker 7 (06:25):
I'm a ted X speaker, I'm an author, and like Annie,
I'm a consultant. I've been an operations consultant for the
better part of fifteen years. I started my own business
back in twenty ten part time, went full time in
twenty twenty. I have been working pretty much the entire
time full time as well. When I left my job
in twenty twenty and went full time in my own business,
(06:47):
I had already been doing operations for a long time.
It was what I did in my career, so it
felt like a natural evolution into But what I've come
to learn over the last few years, you know, similar struggles,
is any of consulting is usually the first thing that
gets cut.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
Director of operations.
Speaker 7 (07:03):
Your operations people are always cut because they're not sexy.
They don't bring in the money, they just keep it
in the business. So there have been a lot of
the similar challenges and what I have realized over the
last year, particularly since I did my TEDx talk, is
what I had built my business on was not what
I actually wanted to do. And so it has been
a two year journey now which was really catalyzed in
(07:26):
January of this year into reminding myself, well, who the
hell are you and what do you actually want to do?
What actually brings you joy. I ended up going back
to work this year. I am currently a chief of
staff at a medical clinic here and it has given
me the bandwidth, the mental bandwidth to decide what I
want to do. So that has included burning down my podcast,
(07:49):
letting go of the business as the business has been
structured for fifteen years, and really thinking about I'm going
to be fifty at the end of this year. What
do I want this final third of my life to do.
I want to continue being in service to everybody else's
ambition or is it time to focus on my own
beautiful thank.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You and Denise's Hello.
Speaker 8 (08:11):
I'm Denise Lee and I'm also a founder and entrepreneur.
Prior to starting my own business, I worked for a
billionaire who is launching all these new brands and taught
me a lot and is still a great mentor of mine.
And then eventually, twelve years ago, I started Alala, which
is at leisure brand that I've been running for the
last twelve years.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
And it's been a wild journey.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
We've been self funded this entire time, so you know,
it's been a very exciting kind of up and down journey.
As the athleisure industry grew, we grew, and you know,
as it's gone through it's ups and downs, we have
as well. And I think I'm at a point where,
you know, after twelve years, it feels like I'm.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Just craving something new. I'm craving something.
Speaker 8 (08:52):
More meaningful for myself, versus just making new clothes and
getting people to buy new clothes and making more new clothes.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
And getting people to buy those.
Speaker 8 (09:01):
It's like, I feel like there is a part of
me that really blits up against that over consumerism that
we all experience right now. So trying to decide what
would to do where my skill set can apply to
you next that doesn't involve more consumerism. I think I'm
in that phase right now where I'm just trying to
figure that out.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Thank you, and for those of you that don't yet
know me, I'm Brie Seely. I have been an entrepreneur
for eighteen years. Formerly ran a fashion business which the
universe and my soul guided me to shut down overnight.
In twenty fifteen, stepped into empowerment coaching, business coaching, manifestation
coaching for women, which I've done for the last ten years,
(09:44):
and my business came to a complete, total, fucking, screeching
halt this year of no fault of my own. Last
year was my biggest year in business. I had two
six figure launches plus multiple other things in between, and
everything that worked in twenty twenty four just stopped working
in twenty twenty five. And I'll get into what I
(10:07):
think that is and why I think that happened in
the next question.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Because Sarah talked.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
About what I built was not really actually what I
wanted to do, and Denise has talked about, you know,
her values kind of colliding with the business.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
She has, And I really want to talk about.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
What was that first sign, because personally, I've been getting
signs for two and a half years that's tim a
ship is coming. And I feel like I drug my
feet a little bit because things were working doing two
six figure launches, Well, why wouldn't I do three or
four this year and just keep the ball rolling. I
have known that this was coming for two years and
(10:45):
I did nothing about it. What was that first sign?
What were those whispers? How long have you known that
this was coming for it to have shown up now
this year?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
And what was the thing that also finally made you listen?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
For me, I didn't have a choice, Like literally all
of my income this year is has just gone.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I'll go.
Speaker 7 (11:06):
Two years ago was the big sort of implosion in
the business. I lost a client that I had been
working with for four years. Was also a very good friend.
We'd become obviously friends after four years.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Who doesn't, And it.
Speaker 7 (11:18):
Was a lot of things colliding at once. It was
the loss of this client for very personal reasons. Knowing
I had built a brand around business, blasphemy, around integrity,
around all of these things. To learn that somebody that
I had trusted for a long time was actually doing
all of the things that I stood against and so
having to pull myself out of that, being gas lit
(11:39):
by a couple of the coaches that I invested with
at that time, and basically living and realizing I was
living in the very paradigms I was trying to break
and that I had built this brand around. And then
we moved house in November of last year to a
different province, and in January when I finally did my
TED talk, which by the way, came as a result
(12:00):
of me finally being like, I don't give a shit.
I'm just going to talk about whatever I want to
talk about. And you know, I had pitched TED five times,
rejected every time, but this time I was in my pajamas,
I'm like, I don't care, and it got accepted. And
it was a full year of not making any money,
of putting something out there and then being like, but
I really don't want to sell this and deliver this,
like over and over again, and asking myself what are
(12:24):
you doing, Like you're running a business, you cannot do this.
It was like dragging myself through it every day because
you have to make the money. This is how you're
supposed to run a business. This is what you're supposed
to do. And when I gave my talk, all of
these young women came up and were like, thank you
for saying the thing that we have never been allowed
(12:44):
to say or known how to express. And I left
that experience and I cried for three days. I'm not
even that's not an exaggeration, Like I woke up every
day and I just I was a bucket of tears
for three days.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
And that was the realization that.
Speaker 7 (12:59):
What I had built and what I had been trying
to hold on too, despite all of these feelings of
misalignment and just how heavy everything was feeling, and seeing
that heaviness reflected in my content and my follower is
reflecting back to me like.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
Are you you're okay?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You're really dark?
Speaker 6 (13:17):
What's going on? And me being like no, but this
is just me being Sarah, you know, this is me
being direct in my no nonsense.
Speaker 7 (13:24):
And it was like, no, actually, what's happening is you
are you were burning out, You're falling apart. And so
this whole year has been this journey of like, Okay,
you get to take the time to fix this because
you are literally.
Speaker 6 (13:37):
Working yourself into the hospital.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
I'm to hold on to and keep hold of these
things that every single signal and sign is telling you
is not who you are anymore. And I think the
biggest lesson has been that sometimes you have to allow
yourself the permission to let go of the things that
don't feel like they're working anymore, even if they are
on paper.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's so good. Yeah, that falling apart.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Was just on a coaching session for myself yesterday and
I was talking about how the Tower is one of
my favorite tarot cards because it truly is all of
those things that are misaligned. Those things have to crumble,
and it is a terrifying process for myself. Everything that
worked last year? Do I keep pushing for it? Do
I keep fighting for it? Do I keep trying when
(14:22):
the evidence I'm getting back is, girl, this isn't it?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, so thank you.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
I do this every couple of years.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
This one hits different, But every couple of years, you know,
the passage of time because I've rebranded, right, or I've
changed up my offer suite. On one hand, it felt
like it was time because it's time. But on the
other hand, in the most millennial only child answer I
could possibly give is that I just didn't feel shiny anymore, and.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
What I did feel was exhausted.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
I am a person who is obsessed with value, and
when I start to question if I'm actually helping a client,
or if I start to question why I'm in the room,
or if I start to feel like I'm surrounding myself
with people who want to pay me to ignore me
and not do what I say and then blame me
(15:17):
for that, which almost never happens, because, like Sarah, I
tend to be extremely good friends with the people that
I work with because of the intimate nature of our lives.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
That it's just like WHOA hold on?
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Where did I get these people that think that they
can treat me like this?
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Right?
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Very diva.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
But I think the main moment that really changed things
for me and the reason why this one felt really
different is number one, the sheer level of panic and
fear that my clients and peers and friends are experiencing
in this very new feel.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Like that's new. Normally, I rebrand because.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
You know, I'm on my period and I need some
excitement in my life, and I decide to learn my
website down and build it overnight.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
But normally that's just.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Me being me.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
But right now, like everyone I talk to is like,
why isn't this working, Why isn't this working, Why isn't
this working. The other thing is, for the longest time,
I have a musical theater degree, and for my entire
thirties I'm now forty one. For my entire thirties, I
told myself that I did not have time to perform
because I was building a business.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
So I didn't for whatever reason.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
A couple of months ago, my friends convinced me to
go audition for a musical and I did, and the
whole first week I was like, my business is going
to die. I can't take from seven to ten pm
and a Sunday to myself.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I can't do that. My business will die. My business
will die.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
And I went through this very intensive rehearsal process that
took a ton of my time and energy, and two
things happened. Number One, I felt shiny again, and number two,
my business didn't get affected at all. That's when I
realized that I'm a workaholic and I've created this trap
for myself, and I'm grateful for what I have and
(17:00):
it's killing me. So it's time to note how I've
kept myself in this box and note that the only
person that can burn that box to the ground is me.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
And so that's what I did.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
But it was really just based on I thought I
had to feel shiny to my clients again, or shiny
to prospects again. And it really was shock of all
shocks here as an entrepreneur and a solopreneur, I had
to feel shiny to me again, and I couldn't do
that in the work climate that I had created for myself.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Thank you.
Speaker 8 (17:34):
I love that you recognize that it's like a prison
of your own choosing, and that's like no revelation. I
think at the end of the day, it's like, oh, okay, yeah,
I have my clients, I have this, I have that,
But it's like, no, I built this box myself and
now I'm the only one that can break it down,
and I don't have anybody to blame. When you work corporate,
(17:56):
sometimes you blame your boss, you blame this, you blame that.
As entrepreneurs, we have that freedom to build, but we
also have that freedom to say, Okay, I've changed my mind,
I don't want to do it anymore and start over. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I love that did you have any signs?
Speaker 8 (18:12):
Yeah, yeah, there were little things like as early as
twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, like even before COVID, we had
a team of fifteen people in New York City. Our
rent was like thirty thousand dollars a month or something
crazy like that, and it was like, you know, even then,
You're like, why am I paying for office space?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Why are we paying so much?
Speaker 8 (18:31):
When we were in clothing fittings, Why are all these
people caring about a quarter of an inch difference and
you know, like adjusting things. And I had those moments
where I'm like, I don't know, like this seems a
little silly to me. But then when COVID hit, we
had two years of amazing sales, amazing growth and all
that stuff. So it was hard to give up until
after COVID, when active wear took a little bit of
(18:52):
a dip and people were going back to wearing real clothes.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
That I started to really think, is this what I
want to do? But even then, you know, in.
Speaker 8 (19:00):
Twenty twenty two, It's taken two two and a half
years to even get to a place where I'm comfortable
telling everyone who's worked for me for the last seven
eight years that I don't want to do it anymore.
You know, that takes a lot of going through it yourself,
rushing yourself before you're comfortable saying those things out loud.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
And so it was.
Speaker 8 (19:20):
Probably year and a half ago I was in China
and I was at a trade fair where you could
buy any product under the sun, and I'm like, you know,
out of all these products that are here, you could
be selling thing that really helps people in their lives, right,
you could be selling something that improves people's lives. That
was the point where I was like, I can't sell
(19:40):
clothes anymore.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
They're just who cares? You know, who cares? Eyes really
don't care as much as I used to.
Speaker 8 (19:46):
That was a big one for me where I was
just like, oh, maybe I could apply my skills to
selling something that would really change people's lives improve them,
versus just selling them stuff for the sake of buying
a new sports bra.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
I have this theory, now, it's just a hypothesis at
this point. I haven't done any well, I've done a
little bit of data collection, but you know, haven't really
fully come to a conclusion of this scientific theory. Scientific right,
Almost every woman I've talked to this year is going
through something really similar Sarah's nodding. I know Annie was
(20:21):
talking about her clients.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I just wonder.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I know that this feels deeply personal to each and
every one of us, but I just can't help but
wonder if there's something bigger going on.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Will we ever know? I don't know. But also I
feel like people are kind of at the point where
they're sick of compromising their values in the world, kind
of like Denise was saying, questioning things and being like,
is this really worth it?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Is this really what I want to be doing? Is
this really the legacy I want to be leaving behind?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Is this?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
And maybe it's because I'm surrounded by like perimenopause and
menopausal women. I don't know, Maybe that's just what you
go through in this stage.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
My mom told me nothing about this stage of life.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
But also I feel like, even with the new generations
coming up, that they're just not willing to play by
the fucking rules that all of us have played by, which,
by the way, who made the rules and why are
the rules?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
That's a whole conversation for a different podcast episode, But
tell me, is my theory.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Am I crazy? Does it feel spot on?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I just feel like there's something bigger going on in
the world that we're all experiencing. But I don't know
if it's necessarily as personal as I've been making it.
Speaker 7 (21:34):
I was gonna say, I'm not like one hundred percent
at WU. I'm more like Woo adjacent. I dabble in WU,
but I'm not like Woo Woo. But I do believe
in energy, and I do believe in our connection to
the grid, and I think you're onto something. I do
think that there is a fundamental shift happening at a
level that we cannot comprehend because I'm a history nerd,
(21:57):
But like, why are their pyramids in Egypt also in Mexico?
Like it's one of those things. It's like, why am
I feeling like this here? And people I know over
in Australia are feeling the exact same, Like why is it?
It's collective, It's definitely global, So I think there is
something going on that It's almost like the collective consciousness
is elevating itself in some sort of weird way and
(22:21):
adding to that all of the turmoil that's happening globally politically, socially, economically.
It's almost like a shedding that is happening. And we
used to have a snake when I was younger, when
I was in the universities. Even though a snake sheds
its skin very naturally on a regular basis, it's not
the most comfortable process for the snake. I kind of
(22:43):
feel like that's what's happening to us collectively. It's a
shedding and it's uncomfortable, and we got to rub ourselves up,
you know, on a couple of rocks to get rid
of some of those sticky bits. But when we come out,
I do feel like if we can come out together,
we're gonna feel like and he was talking about shiny
and fresh. It's just a matter of like holding on
for dear life right now, That's what it feels like.
Speaker 8 (23:04):
Much more conversation just around purpose and joy and social
media and just in my friend group. So those are
things that we never talked about in our twenties and
early thirties, and then now there's a bigger conversation I
think happening that people are starting to ask those questions
of why for what, And I think that's a great
thing that's happening.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
I think our tolerations are changing, right because we each
of us have a limited bank of fucks.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Which is more than just a phrase.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
You can look at the science of willpower and see
that we only have so much before the brain has
to reset and burn it are.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
And I feel like the world.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
That we are living in right now WU are not
WU is taking up a whole lot of space in
each of us. I'm not used to waking up again
wondering if today is going to be the day that
they strike down marriage equality, Like I'm not used to.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Having to give up my fucks for that.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
I'm not used to having to give up my fucks
for my neighbors getting ice rated, like there's stuff going on.
But because of that, I feel like my personal tolerations
have big time change, and I'm becoming irritated and frustrated
by things like over consumerism. Whereas before I'd be like,
(24:25):
why are these women buying ninety dollars cubs at Target?
That's weird? But now I'm looking at my own behaviors
and going, why do I have seven sports bra only
have two boobs?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Right?
Speaker 8 (24:37):
Like?
Speaker 4 (24:37):
What am I supposed to do here?
Speaker 5 (24:39):
And I feel like Similarly, like what Sarah was talking about,
she had this client relationship where it turned out that
there was this huge fissure of ethics between her and
this person that she trusted. Maybe in a different time
that could have persisted for longer. But when Sarah's limited
bank and my limit bank are confronted with things like
(25:04):
a gap in ethics, when both Sarah and I have
built our brand on being ethical, integrity, transparent, all of
the things, we can't ignore that anymore because we're out
of pleasantries, we're out of niceness, we're out of not
taking up as much space. Why are we tolerating these things?
(25:25):
Why are we saying, oh, that's totally fine. Why are
we being and I'm in Chicago if you can't tell
by the accent, but like, why are we being so
Midwestern about everything when.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
We're literally being tread on? Like why? And it's we're not,
We're not anymore.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I also wonder too, if some of it and TikTok
is my guilty pleasure, it's where I used to check
out and just like decompressed from all the things. I
wonder if some of it is if generations before us
just literally didn't know that they had any other options.
Now you can hop on TikTok and people will be like,
you know, my boyfriend said this to me today.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Is that normal? And all these people jump in and
they're like, what the fuck girl?
Speaker 8 (26:02):
No.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I also feel like we're starting to see that there's
so many more options out there for all of us
that we don't have to feel like shit every day,
that we can choose to rebuild into a new purpose.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Now is that an easy process?
Speaker 2 (26:16):
No, it's fucking not, which is why I love what
Sarah brought up and I want to go into this.
All of us have been, as Sarah said, rubbing ourselves
up against these proverbial rocks all year, getting our skin
to shed off. What have all of us been doing
to help with this process? One of the things that
(26:36):
started this for me was that I started experiencing frozen
shoulder last year, and the first thing I do anytime
I have a physical ailment. I was ouched to coffee
with a girlfriend yesterday and she's like, yeah, I just
got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Like, let's see what Louise Hey has to say about this.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Because there's always an energetic reason for a physical ailment.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
So I look up.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Left shoulder injury, Louis Hey, and it says you're carrying
the weight of the world without joy, and that hit
I was like, never have I felt so seen and
also called out by a dead woman. Thank you so much,
Louise Hey. My process this year has been a combination
of not only physical healing, but emotional healing. And where
(27:18):
am I carrying the weight of things that aren't mine
to carry? Or how am I carrying the entire weight
of a nonprofit when instead I could build a board
and get a bunch of people to help me.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
And where am I not having joy? The beginning of.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
This year, I did the Artist's Way to start tapping
back into my creative process. I know I recommended it
to Denise too, And so I've really been doing a
lot of things emotionally.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Spiritually, physically.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I've traveled more this year than probably in the last
five years combined. I've been putting myself into unknown circumstances
and situations, so it forces my brain to think differently
and to approach situations differently. I've been confronted my fears.
I babysat for sixteen chickens, I am fucking terrified of birds.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I've just been.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Honestly throwing spaghetti at the wall this year, being like,
all right, I will do whatever it takes to shed
this skin because I know that whatever's coming after this
is going to be shinier, brighter, bigger, funner.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I know that's not a word than where I've been
at before.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
And I'm just so committed to that level of living
and experiencing life that I have done everything this year
to shed.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
So share with me all of your shedding tips and secrets.
Speaker 7 (28:33):
I have a very bad habit of carrying what people think,
not just about me, but about people who are close
to me, and I have finally, i think, come to
a point of not giving a fuck anymore.
Speaker 6 (28:44):
You can say what you want about me.
Speaker 7 (28:45):
It's getting a lot easier to not carry it anymore.
And I think it has to do with the fact that,
like you said, for the first time, I've started investing
myself again. I joined a pilates studio in April, and
my daughter and I've been going three times a week
when we can. Someone said to me, but that's not
enough to really lose weight or get toned, and I'm like,
I'm doing it for the joy of movement, but thanks
(29:06):
for your input. But it's also I'm able to bond
with my daughter in a more intentional way, which is
something that I don't get to do because I'm working
all the time and she's at school. I've picked up
a ton of coloring books. I used to paint all
the time. I decided that that was not accessible in
a moment's noticed, so like, I have coloring books and
I just color. I got myself some alcohol markers and
(29:28):
I love it. I've also, thank you Instagram, been buying
sticker things where you like create little scenes out of stickers.
I've probably invested a metric ton of money into these things.
But I'm like in luck because they shut everything down
and all you're doing is focusing on this moment. And
I realized that that was what I needed more of,
(29:50):
was just moments with myself to do something that was
utterly pointless, had no monetization, had no external value, was
not something that I had to sell or justify.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
I just I did it.
Speaker 6 (30:03):
It's stupid.
Speaker 7 (30:04):
I do the stickers, they go in the garbage. Nobody
gives a shit. But it has been so fucking liberating.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
One of the things you said, but I really want
to pause on is this idea of doing something without
a goal.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
When's the last time, as highly highly, highly.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Ambitious women we've let ourselves do something for the sake
of doing something without it meaning something more.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Yeah, You're so right for me too.
Speaker 8 (30:28):
It's like tapping back into your inner child, which I
think both of both Annie and Sierra have touched on
as well.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
I started doing all the things I used to love
doing as a kid.
Speaker 8 (30:37):
I sewed, I bought a piano so I could play
the piano again. I started writing lessons again, and that
has brought me so much joy Outside of having to
work on something or like monetize something. That's been really
just such a nice feeling to be able to nurture
my inner child and tap back into what I used
(30:58):
to love to do. Thing that I've done is I
started a secret TikTok account that is my practice for
being myself and just like showing up as who I
want to be without hearing everybody in my life seeing that,
and that's been an amazing experience for me.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I totally follow that account. And I also want to
say I've actually had the privilege of witnessing all three
of you doing this this year as well. I stayed
with Annie in Chicago. She was like trapesing through the
house in her point shoes getting ready for her role.
Like I got to see Denise re wallpaper her living
(31:36):
room and put up new light switches and all these things.
And I've been seeing Sarah's art on Instagram as well,
and it's been really inspiring as someone who's going through
this process to be witnessing other women in the midst
of their shutting process.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Miss Annie, what you got for us?
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Well, I'm in another musical, no point shoes this time,
but they asked me if I can do a toe
touch like cheerleader style, and my answer was yes in
two thousand and two. So now that gives me something
else to focus on. I'm making a lot of gifts again.
Brie and I are addicted to this really weird read book,
and one of the things that it says is that
(32:15):
if you want to manifest, just get yourself into creation mode.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
There's the book for.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Anyone who's listening to this and not watching.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
It's called The fifteen Success Principles for Self Realization and
I literally had it sitting next to me when Johnny
said it, so I just pulled it up.
Speaker 5 (32:27):
But it says like that creation like Sarah was talking about,
like just creation for creation's sake, right, And so I
tend to self prioritize last. So one of the ways
it's been really lovely for me to be creating again
is to be making gifts for people. So right now,
I'm making an ezema salve for my best friend. I'm
making a baby blanket for my other best friend who
(32:50):
just had a baby. I'm decorating everybody's scripts in the musicle,
you know what I mean. I'm baking and making weird
jellies and jams and all these other so that I
give them to people. But what I'm giving myself is
that space. And what I've noticed is that when I'm creating,
I'm not talking, and so what I'm also giving myself
(33:13):
is the gift of silence.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Sometimes actual silence.
Speaker 5 (33:16):
Like I'm not listening to anything, no stimulation whatsoever, just
the cicadas in me. Other times, at least, I'm just
not on I'm not talking, no one needs anything from me.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I'm not checking my email. I don't have my phone.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
People are starting to send me messages being like girl
are you alive, and I'm like, yes, I'm being a
hedge witch. I'm going cottage core. I'll get back to
you after this sav settles. And that's an adjustment.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
As ambitious women, so much of our value and our
identity has been tied so closely to our output, to
our productivity, to how many emails we can write in
a day, how many of this we can do, how
many of that we can do, And personally, I feel
like I'm learning how to walk this again.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
I am learning how to move through the world with.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
A different cadence where you know, in the past, like
Annie said, I'm I am getting ready to redo my
website right now. But in the past, I would have
had the thought of I need to redo my website
and then been like, Okay, let me write all the
copy and then I'm gonna get into the word pres
and I'll have it all done and like ready to
go and like up and live and everything in twenty
four hours. And I just have no interest. I had
(34:24):
the thought about redoing my website like two weeks ago,
and this morning, for the first time, I pulled up
and chat GPT and was like, hey, if I were
to put like a new header on the homepage of
my website.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Given this, this, this, and this, what could it look like?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
It's moving at a different cadence, without scarcity, without expectation.
I said to my clients this morning, letting the inspiration
move me rather than me being the one to hush.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Yeah, And I.
Speaker 8 (34:54):
Inspect that's the feminine energy too. We're also in the
masculine and we're so used to letting that feminine energy
come through. Where you're receiving, you're letting something flow through you.
That's definitely something I'm trying to work on, is tapping
into my feminine energy which has been lost for a
very long time. And I think we can all agree
(35:14):
on that. Finding that again that's a key to unlocking
what's next and what is right for me moving forward.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
We've talked about our shedding, what we've been doing when
we're in the phase of being ready to then getting
clarity or taking first steps or whatever. What have been
yall's processes or do you have any tools to help
move that energy again? Because when asked me yesterday about flow,
and I was like, dude, I have not been in flowing,
(35:42):
Like nothing has been flowing for like nine or ten months.
When we step back into the river, what are you
doing to either know what's next or start moving towards
what's next or being moved by what's next?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
For me, I always go if it's not hell, yes,
it's a no. That's sacred.
Speaker 8 (36:02):
Intuition for me is so important, and so I think
that's kind of just like something that I'm using.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
As a filter for whatever opportunities might come or ideas
come up in my head.
Speaker 7 (36:14):
I'm also one of those people that when I get
an idea, it gets action done right away, Like to
the point where I've had employers before or even clients
tell me, oh, you've already finished them. I'm like, yep,
you told me to do what I gotta done, Like
it's it's done. It's been fighting that eternal nature that
I have always lived in when I get excited about
an idea, now I walk away from it.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
It is the hardest thing that I've ever had to
do in my life.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
But I leave it.
Speaker 7 (36:38):
I'm like, I want the excitement to die and then
I can evaluate it. And that has actually helped me
more with the flow and to like find my spaces
than quick action ever has. Because I know in the
industry you know, quick action, quick action, quick wins. But
there is something to be said for just letting it sit.
Speaker 5 (37:02):
For me, the way out of bed is if my
people are doing something cool and my people need me,
so like, I'm getting out of bed because I'm on
your board free. I'm not heads down on my own
website today because I'm doing this podcast with y'all right now,
and it's reprioritizing and continuing to prioritize the handful of
(37:27):
people that make my business what I want it to
be now and in the future, but also beyond my business.
Speaker 4 (37:34):
Screw that.
Speaker 5 (37:35):
Just I spend my days investing in the people that
invest in me and that I want to continue to
invest in, and that gets me out of being a
very anti centric existence.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
I don't have kids.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
I have like a good jillion pats, like I have
a great husband who takes care of our house and
all the things. Like if I wanted to go on
to Planet Annie and just live there by myself, I could.
I'm an only child. I could be silent for week. However, However,
my loved ones are still doing really cool shit, and
for that, I got to keep moving.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
I can't just stall.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
There is something about whether it's volunteering with an organization
or being committed to being a buddy with someone, or
having people that you want to show up for. Sometimes
that external motivation is what we need to get out
of bed every day. And it was my baby Peaches
that kept me alive for many years because I knew
(38:35):
that she was this little five pound angel that was
depending on me to get up every day and show.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Up for her.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
In our last few minutes, I would love to hear
what's next? Where do we go from here?
Speaker 7 (38:47):
Remembering who I am outside of my brand, and every
time I get a hit of clarity, it's like, oh yeah,
that's who she is.
Speaker 6 (38:56):
And whatever I build next.
Speaker 7 (38:58):
Like just before we had this call, it was on
a consult with a podcast strategist because, like I said,
my podcast is going to get sunset the end of
the year, and I wanted to build something. I love
talking speaking, so like what am I going to do
with it? And like the idea of whatever comes next
is going to be purely because I enjoy it and
having the faith in myself and the universe and whatever
(39:21):
else you want to attribute it to that if it
is meant to bring me whatever goal, then that's great,
that'd be a wonderful byproduct of it, but it can
no longer be the focus of what I create. Whatever
I create has to be something I create because I
genuinely want to, not because it's what I should be doing.
And so I don't have an answer because those answers
(39:42):
are still unfolding and making themselves known.
Speaker 8 (39:45):
I want to step more into the energy of like
wonder and just looking at the world in a different light,
something that's not as jaded and you know, harsh as
what we've come from, and letting that energy kind of
bring in the opportunities.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
I'm not in a place where I'm like, Okay, this
is the path.
Speaker 8 (40:07):
I want to go down yet, or even like these
are the two paths I'm deciding between. I think I'm
trying to be very open to anything that comes in
and then using that like hell yes or no filter
to start guiding me down a new path. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (40:22):
I need to spend a lot of time in my
own head because I'm noticing more and more the thoughts
that I have held so tight that don't even feel
like mindset issues. They just feel factual and like brisaid,
like gen z does not obey rules, They're like, why
are these rules there? Why have I convinced myself that
(40:44):
there's no monetization in content creation? Why have I convinced
myself that I need to work eighty hours a week
to be successful? Why have I convinced myself for so
long that I don't have dreams of my own?
Speaker 4 (40:57):
Why have I convinced myself of these things?
Speaker 5 (41:00):
At the end of the day, I got to be
accountable to me, and I don't think I've been listening
to myself as well as I could, and I don't
think I've prioritized myself as well as I could. And
I'm now seeing that so many of the barriers, not all,
but so many of the barriers that I've kind of
picked up and moved from rebrand to rebrand to rebrand
(41:20):
that don't go away.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
They just move.
Speaker 5 (41:22):
My husband's therapist calls them doom piles, didn't organize, only moved, right,
Like these bad habits that I've kind of kept with me.
They're bad habits because they're of me, and so I
either need to metabolize them and love them and trust
them and just roll with it. Or now, in this
(41:43):
quiet cantalplative season, I have to make a real decision
that I'm going to detach from those pieces of my
identity that were I'm sure self protective at some point,
but now just feel like a whole bunch of bs man.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
You got me with the doom piles. I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
I have no idea what those may look like or
be physically or energetically. I I no idea to the
last point that you made, Annie.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
What's really truly.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Been the process this year and will continue to be
the process is so much of the identity work of
like why have I convinced myself that I again? Coaching
call yesterday and the guy was like, we've been working
together for a few months, and he was like, whoa,
You've been an entrepreneur for eighteen years and you're you've
(42:36):
convinced yourself.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
That you don't have value.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
You're literally like point zero zero zero zero zero zero.
He's like, do you know how many people make it
to five years and how many people make it to
ten and you made it to eighteen, and yet you've
convinced yourself that you're small potatoes and you're lumping yourself
in the bucket with all these other like brand new.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Quote unquote business coaches and like, what what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
A lot of my work has been around identity and
then also letting my vision move me and then collecting
data just like you would with a scientific experiment, and
say what works, what doesn't work, and moving with that.
I put up a request for board members on LinkedIn
a few weeks ago, and it was just a passing
thought and I swear to god, I blacked out when
(43:19):
I actually did the thing.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
I got thirty applications.
Speaker 8 (43:22):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
We went from being a board of four to being
a board of sixteen literally overnight, and I'm like, oh,
growing a nonprofit was not on my Bengo card this year,
but like, holy shit, and one of them I just
have to say this because I'm so proud of it.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
One of them is the one that built the Dollywood Foundation.
So I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Shit, your last boss was Dolly Parton And now, oh, okay, cool.
If that's not a fucking slap in the face and
wake up call to like, girl, get on your identity.
Shit we are at time. I just wanted to thank
each and every one of you so much. I knew
this was going to be good because I know all
of you and it just was so lovely.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Any last thoughts thing for anyone listening.
Speaker 5 (44:01):
I mean, if you're listening to this and you know, Brie,
you are now four degrees away from Dolly herself. Only
four degrees away from Dolly herself.
Speaker 4 (44:11):
What can't you do? You are unlimited, you are Quasar.
What can't you do?
Speaker 5 (44:18):
You are only four degrees away from Dolly Parton herself.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Mike drop yay.
Speaker 7 (44:27):
If you want to do it, just fucking do it.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Collapse for that, agreed, agreed.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Thank you all so much. Everyone.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Make sure to go check the show notes for info
on Sarah Kahn, Denise Lee, and Annie p Ruggles.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Thank you ladies so much for joining me.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
If y'all aren't subscribed yet to Big Goal Energy, please
do subscribe.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
We have some great episodes coming up.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I appreciate all of you for being here and make
it an amazing day.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Go do something today that doesn't have a goal attached
to it.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
If this episode lit something up in you, share it,
text it to a friend, post it to your stories,
or leave a review.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
Because Big Goal.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Energy is meant to be felt far and wide, and
if you're ready to go deeper, explore the tools, hypnosis sessions,
and support. Because your vision deserves more than hustle, join
us on the Big Goal Energy app by visiting your
app store and typing in Big Goal Energy. Your vision,
your goals deserve alignment, ease, and your fullest self behind them.
(45:32):
Until next time, trust yourself, dream bigger, and never forget
you are here for greatness
Hello, Big Goal Energy. Bri Seely here, hostess of the
podcast that you currently have in your ears.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
If you are a regular listener and or a subscriber
to my newsletter or any of the things, You've seen
a lot of content coming out for me this year
talking about how I am essentially burning down my business again.
Now it's not fully being burned down. I don't want
to get into semantics about where it's going or what's happening,
because that's not the point of this. The point of
(00:27):
this episode is as I've been in the process of
things not working in my business and questioning what's next
and doing the identity work within myself, I've been speaking
to women, colleagues, friends, friends of friends, to people that
I just know and have in my life, and it
(00:47):
seems like almost every single woman I'm talking to is
going through a similar thing. So I began to ask myself.
So I began to ask myself, is this really like
is this a meeting or is this a universal thing?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
And what if it's not a me thing?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Like, how can I bring together other voices of women
who are experiencing similar things to help put in your
ears that you're not alone and give you tools and
resources and things that you need to help you be
better through this process of death and rebirth, reconstruction, all
(01:22):
of the things. So I called up three women that
I know and deeply love and respect and said, Hey,
would you be willing to talk about how you've burnt
it all down this year, how you've been recalibrating, how
you've been connecting in with what's next for you and
having the grace to let go of what you know
no longer serves you. So this is that conversation. We
(01:46):
just had a beautiful hour long discussion around all of
these things. How do you know when it's time for
a recalibration, a pivot, a chapter.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Ending, a new one beginning?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
What tools do you lean on in these times to
help yourself not go crazy and not keep pushing?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
How do you how do you take the next steps?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So the episode you're about to listen to is truly
near and dear to my heart because this has been
my twenty twenty So more than anything, I just want
you to listen to this episode and know that if
this is your experience this year as well, you're not alone.
So many of us are going through it. In fact,
I share a hypothesis in this episode about what I
(02:28):
think is going on and why I think this is
happening right now. So listen up, get a journal out,
grab a pen, takes notes, and as always, if you
have any AHAs that you want to digest or jam over,
shoot me a message on Instagram. Would love to hear
from you. We'd love to talk about it and just
witness you going through the process, because the more that
(02:50):
we can know that we're not alone, the easier the
process is going to get. Enjoy the episode. You were
never meant for a small life. You have bold ideas,
audacious dreams and visions that keep you up at night.
But the truth is, big goals don't come with step
by step instructions, and success doesn't come from doing more.
(03:11):
It comes from becoming more. Welcome to Big Goal Energy
a podcast for high achieving women who are done shrinking, striving,
and second guessing and are ready to defy reality in
pursuit of the life they actually want. I'm your hostess,
free Sealy, goal architect, subconscious strategist and your permission slip
(03:31):
to want what you want. Join me as we go
beyond the service level success to explore the mindset, identity,
and inner work required to bring your biggest, most delulu
goals to life. This is your space to be seen,
to be expanded, and to remember that you are not
alone on this journey. Let's get into it. Hello listeners,
(03:53):
Welcome back to Big Goal Energy. I am so honored
and thrilled to be joined by three super incredible women today.
I have had individual conversations with each of these women
about where they're at this year, what they've been experienced,
where I'm at this year, what I've been experiencing, And
so I thought, why not get us all on a
conversation together and talk about, like, what does the reinvention
(04:16):
process truly look like? What does it include? What are
we bumping up against? All the things? All these women
are super brilliant and super transparent and honest, and I'm
just really excited to have this conversation. So, miss Anti
p Ruggles, would you kick us off with a quick
introduction and a state of the business status update on
what's happening in your world?
Speaker 4 (04:38):
You betcha, Hey, y'all, I'm Anti p Ruggles.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
I will do my normal intro and then I will
tell you why that normal intro isn't quite right anymore.
But I am a fractional CMO and sales trainer and
marketing realigner.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
For very small businesses.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
I'm talking solopreneurs and small teams, and I love that.
I've been doing that since two thousand and eleven, so
it's been almost all of my adult life, and I
have spent most of that time at capacity, which I'm
grateful for, but it has taken a big toll on
my health. And also, I am routinely one of the
(05:16):
first things people cut when the purse strings get tightened,
because consulting is not cheap, and so totally understandably, budget
cuts affect me in a super big way. Twenty five
has been a very, very tight year, and I had
two options. I can either keep chasing fractional CMO clients
that keep me super busy and keep the.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Bills paid but that's about it.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Or I can just sort of embrace being broke and
see what I can do to slim down the consultancy
and do what I truly love, which is interview people.
And so I'm launching a whole bunch of new shows
and I'm interviewing a whole bunch of new people, and
I am currently in that It's super exciting place between
(06:02):
living the damn thing and monetizing the damn thing. And
I'm trying not to freak out too much about monetizing
the damn thing, which is strange because I've been a
professional strategist where all roads led to money for oh forever,
and so now it's kind of interesting to be like, wait,
I can just create for creation's sake.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
So that's me.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Love it, Thank you? So, Sarah, will you go next?
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Sure?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Hi.
Speaker 6 (06:24):
I'm Sarah Khan.
Speaker 7 (06:25):
I'm a ted X speaker, I'm an author, and like Annie,
I'm a consultant. I've been an operations consultant for the
better part of fifteen years. I started my own business
back in twenty ten part time, went full time in
twenty twenty. I have been working pretty much the entire
time full time as well. When I left my job
in twenty twenty and went full time in my own business,
(06:47):
I had already been doing operations for a long time.
It was what I did in my career, so it
felt like a natural evolution into But what I've come
to learn over the last few years, you know, similar struggles,
is any of consulting is usually the first thing that
gets cut.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
Director of operations.
Speaker 7 (07:03):
Your operations people are always cut because they're not sexy.
They don't bring in the money, they just keep it
in the business. So there have been a lot of
the similar challenges and what I have realized over the
last year, particularly since I did my TEDx talk, is
what I had built my business on was not what
I actually wanted to do. And so it has been
a two year journey now which was really catalyzed in
(07:26):
January of this year into reminding myself, well, who the
hell are you and what do you actually want to do?
What actually brings you joy. I ended up going back
to work this year. I am currently a chief of
staff at a medical clinic here and it has given
me the bandwidth, the mental bandwidth to decide what I
want to do. So that has included burning down my podcast,
(07:49):
letting go of the business as the business has been
structured for fifteen years, and really thinking about I'm going
to be fifty at the end of this year. What
do I want this final third of my life to do.
I want to continue being in service to everybody else's
ambition or is it time to focus on my own
beautiful thank.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You and Denise's Hello.
Speaker 8 (08:11):
I'm Denise Lee and I'm also a founder and entrepreneur.
Prior to starting my own business, I worked for a
billionaire who is launching all these new brands and taught
me a lot and is still a great mentor of mine.
And then eventually, twelve years ago, I started Alala, which
is at leisure brand that I've been running for the
last twelve years.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
And it's been a wild journey.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
We've been self funded this entire time, so you know,
it's been a very exciting kind of up and down journey.
As the athleisure industry grew, we grew, and you know,
as it's gone through it's ups and downs, we have
as well. And I think I'm at a point where,
you know, after twelve years, it feels like I'm.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Just craving something new. I'm craving something.
Speaker 8 (08:52):
More meaningful for myself, versus just making new clothes and
getting people to buy new clothes and making more new clothes.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
And getting people to buy those.
Speaker 8 (09:01):
It's like, I feel like there is a part of
me that really blits up against that over consumerism that
we all experience right now. So trying to decide what
would to do where my skill set can apply to
you next that doesn't involve more consumerism. I think I'm
in that phase right now where I'm just trying to
figure that out.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Thank you, and for those of you that don't yet
know me, I'm Brie Seely. I have been an entrepreneur
for eighteen years. Formerly ran a fashion business which the
universe and my soul guided me to shut down overnight.
In twenty fifteen, stepped into empowerment coaching, business coaching, manifestation
coaching for women, which I've done for the last ten years,
(09:44):
and my business came to a complete, total, fucking, screeching
halt this year of no fault of my own. Last
year was my biggest year in business. I had two
six figure launches plus multiple other things in between, and
everything that worked in twenty twenty four just stopped working
in twenty twenty five. And I'll get into what I
(10:07):
think that is and why I think that happened in
the next question.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Because Sarah talked.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
About what I built was not really actually what I
wanted to do, and Denise has talked about, you know,
her values kind of colliding with the business.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
She has, And I really want to talk about.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
What was that first sign, because personally, I've been getting
signs for two and a half years that's tim a
ship is coming. And I feel like I drug my
feet a little bit because things were working doing two
six figure launches, Well, why wouldn't I do three or
four this year and just keep the ball rolling. I
have known that this was coming for two years and
(10:45):
I did nothing about it. What was that first sign?
What were those whispers? How long have you known that
this was coming for it to have shown up now
this year?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
And what was the thing that also finally made you listen?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
For me, I didn't have a choice, Like literally all
of my income this year is has just gone.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I'll go.
Speaker 7 (11:06):
Two years ago was the big sort of implosion in
the business. I lost a client that I had been
working with for four years. Was also a very good friend.
We'd become obviously friends after four years.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Who doesn't, And it.
Speaker 7 (11:18):
Was a lot of things colliding at once. It was
the loss of this client for very personal reasons. Knowing
I had built a brand around business, blasphemy, around integrity,
around all of these things. To learn that somebody that
I had trusted for a long time was actually doing
all of the things that I stood against and so
having to pull myself out of that, being gas lit
(11:39):
by a couple of the coaches that I invested with
at that time, and basically living and realizing I was
living in the very paradigms I was trying to break
and that I had built this brand around. And then
we moved house in November of last year to a
different province, and in January when I finally did my
TED talk, which by the way, came as a result
(12:00):
of me finally being like, I don't give a shit.
I'm just going to talk about whatever I want to
talk about. And you know, I had pitched TED five times,
rejected every time, but this time I was in my pajamas,
I'm like, I don't care, and it got accepted. And
it was a full year of not making any money,
of putting something out there and then being like, but
I really don't want to sell this and deliver this,
like over and over again, and asking myself what are
(12:24):
you doing, Like you're running a business, you cannot do this.
It was like dragging myself through it every day because
you have to make the money. This is how you're
supposed to run a business. This is what you're supposed
to do. And when I gave my talk, all of
these young women came up and were like, thank you
for saying the thing that we have never been allowed
(12:44):
to say or known how to express. And I left
that experience and I cried for three days. I'm not
even that's not an exaggeration, Like I woke up every
day and I just I was a bucket of tears
for three days.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
And that was the realization that.
Speaker 7 (12:59):
What I had built and what I had been trying
to hold on too, despite all of these feelings of
misalignment and just how heavy everything was feeling, and seeing
that heaviness reflected in my content and my follower is
reflecting back to me like.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
Are you you're okay?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You're really dark?
Speaker 6 (13:17):
What's going on? And me being like no, but this
is just me being Sarah, you know, this is me
being direct in my no nonsense.
Speaker 7 (13:24):
And it was like, no, actually, what's happening is you
are you were burning out, You're falling apart. And so
this whole year has been this journey of like, Okay,
you get to take the time to fix this because
you are literally.
Speaker 6 (13:37):
Working yourself into the hospital.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
I'm to hold on to and keep hold of these
things that every single signal and sign is telling you
is not who you are anymore. And I think the
biggest lesson has been that sometimes you have to allow
yourself the permission to let go of the things that
don't feel like they're working anymore, even if they are
on paper.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's so good. Yeah, that falling apart.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Was just on a coaching session for myself yesterday and
I was talking about how the Tower is one of
my favorite tarot cards because it truly is all of
those things that are misaligned. Those things have to crumble,
and it is a terrifying process for myself. Everything that
worked last year? Do I keep pushing for it? Do
I keep fighting for it? Do I keep trying when
(14:22):
the evidence I'm getting back is, girl, this isn't it?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, so thank you.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
I do this every couple of years.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
This one hits different, But every couple of years, you know,
the passage of time because I've rebranded, right, or I've
changed up my offer suite. On one hand, it felt
like it was time because it's time. But on the
other hand, in the most millennial only child answer I
could possibly give is that I just didn't feel shiny anymore, and.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
What I did feel was exhausted.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
I am a person who is obsessed with value, and
when I start to question if I'm actually helping a client,
or if I start to question why I'm in the room,
or if I start to feel like I'm surrounding myself
with people who want to pay me to ignore me
and not do what I say and then blame me
(15:17):
for that, which almost never happens, because, like Sarah, I
tend to be extremely good friends with the people that
I work with because of the intimate nature of our lives.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
That it's just like WHOA hold on?
Speaker 5 (15:29):
Where did I get these people that think that they
can treat me like this?
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Right?
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Very diva.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
But I think the main moment that really changed things
for me and the reason why this one felt really
different is number one, the sheer level of panic and
fear that my clients and peers and friends are experiencing
in this very new feel.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Like that's new. Normally, I rebrand because.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
You know, I'm on my period and I need some
excitement in my life, and I decide to learn my
website down and build it overnight.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
But normally that's just.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Me being me.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
But right now, like everyone I talk to is like,
why isn't this working, Why isn't this working, Why isn't
this working. The other thing is, for the longest time,
I have a musical theater degree, and for my entire
thirties I'm now forty one. For my entire thirties, I
told myself that I did not have time to perform
because I was building a business.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
So I didn't for whatever reason.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
A couple of months ago, my friends convinced me to
go audition for a musical and I did, and the
whole first week I was like, my business is going
to die. I can't take from seven to ten pm
and a Sunday to myself.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I can't do that. My business will die. My business
will die.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
And I went through this very intensive rehearsal process that
took a ton of my time and energy, and two
things happened. Number One, I felt shiny again, and number two,
my business didn't get affected at all. That's when I
realized that I'm a workaholic and I've created this trap
for myself, and I'm grateful for what I have and
(17:00):
it's killing me. So it's time to note how I've
kept myself in this box and note that the only
person that can burn that box to the ground is me.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
And so that's what I did.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
But it was really just based on I thought I
had to feel shiny to my clients again, or shiny
to prospects again. And it really was shock of all
shocks here as an entrepreneur and a solopreneur, I had
to feel shiny to me again, and I couldn't do
that in the work climate that I had created for myself.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Thank you.
Speaker 8 (17:34):
I love that you recognize that it's like a prison
of your own choosing, and that's like no revelation. I
think at the end of the day, it's like, oh, okay, yeah,
I have my clients, I have this, I have that,
But it's like, no, I built this box myself and
now I'm the only one that can break it down,
and I don't have anybody to blame. When you work corporate,
(17:56):
sometimes you blame your boss, you blame this, you blame that.
As entrepreneurs, we have that freedom to build, but we
also have that freedom to say, Okay, I've changed my mind,
I don't want to do it anymore and start over. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I love that did you have any signs?
Speaker 8 (18:12):
Yeah, yeah, there were little things like as early as
twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, like even before COVID, we had
a team of fifteen people in New York City. Our
rent was like thirty thousand dollars a month or something
crazy like that, and it was like, you know, even then,
You're like, why am I paying for office space?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Why are we paying so much?
Speaker 8 (18:31):
When we were in clothing fittings, Why are all these
people caring about a quarter of an inch difference and
you know, like adjusting things. And I had those moments
where I'm like, I don't know, like this seems a
little silly to me. But then when COVID hit, we
had two years of amazing sales, amazing growth and all
that stuff. So it was hard to give up until
after COVID, when active wear took a little bit of
(18:52):
a dip and people were going back to wearing real clothes.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
That I started to really think, is this what I
want to do? But even then, you know, in.
Speaker 8 (19:00):
Twenty twenty two, It's taken two two and a half
years to even get to a place where I'm comfortable
telling everyone who's worked for me for the last seven
eight years that I don't want to do it anymore.
You know, that takes a lot of going through it yourself,
rushing yourself before you're comfortable saying those things out loud.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
And so it was.
Speaker 8 (19:20):
Probably year and a half ago I was in China
and I was at a trade fair where you could
buy any product under the sun, and I'm like, you know,
out of all these products that are here, you could
be selling thing that really helps people in their lives, right,
you could be selling something that improves people's lives. That
was the point where I was like, I can't sell
(19:40):
clothes anymore.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
They're just who cares? You know, who cares? Eyes really
don't care as much as I used to.
Speaker 8 (19:46):
That was a big one for me where I was
just like, oh, maybe I could apply my skills to
selling something that would really change people's lives improve them,
versus just selling them stuff for the sake of buying
a new sports bra.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
I have this theory, now, it's just a hypothesis at
this point. I haven't done any well, I've done a
little bit of data collection, but you know, haven't really
fully come to a conclusion of this scientific theory. Scientific right,
Almost every woman I've talked to this year is going
through something really similar Sarah's nodding. I know Annie was
(20:21):
talking about her clients.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I just wonder.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I know that this feels deeply personal to each and
every one of us, but I just can't help but
wonder if there's something bigger going on.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Will we ever know? I don't know. But also I
feel like people are kind of at the point where
they're sick of compromising their values in the world, kind
of like Denise was saying, questioning things and being like,
is this really worth it?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Is this really what I want to be doing? Is
this really the legacy I want to be leaving behind?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Is this?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
And maybe it's because I'm surrounded by like perimenopause and
menopausal women. I don't know, Maybe that's just what you
go through in this stage.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
My mom told me nothing about this stage of life.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
But also I feel like, even with the new generations
coming up, that they're just not willing to play by
the fucking rules that all of us have played by, which,
by the way, who made the rules and why are
the rules?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
That's a whole conversation for a different podcast episode, But
tell me, is my theory.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Am I crazy? Does it feel spot on?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I just feel like there's something bigger going on in
the world that we're all experiencing. But I don't know
if it's necessarily as personal as I've been making it.
Speaker 7 (21:34):
I was gonna say, I'm not like one hundred percent
at WU. I'm more like Woo adjacent. I dabble in WU,
but I'm not like Woo Woo. But I do believe
in energy, and I do believe in our connection to
the grid, and I think you're onto something. I do
think that there is a fundamental shift happening at a
level that we cannot comprehend because I'm a history nerd,
(21:57):
But like, why are their pyramids in Egypt also in Mexico?
Like it's one of those things. It's like, why am
I feeling like this here? And people I know over
in Australia are feeling the exact same, Like why is it?
It's collective, It's definitely global, So I think there is
something going on that It's almost like the collective consciousness
is elevating itself in some sort of weird way and
(22:21):
adding to that all of the turmoil that's happening globally politically, socially, economically.
It's almost like a shedding that is happening. And we
used to have a snake when I was younger, when
I was in the universities. Even though a snake sheds
its skin very naturally on a regular basis, it's not
the most comfortable process for the snake. I kind of
(22:43):
feel like that's what's happening to us collectively. It's a
shedding and it's uncomfortable, and we got to rub ourselves up,
you know, on a couple of rocks to get rid
of some of those sticky bits. But when we come out,
I do feel like if we can come out together,
we're gonna feel like and he was talking about shiny
and fresh. It's just a matter of like holding on
for dear life right now, That's what it feels like.
Speaker 8 (23:04):
Much more conversation just around purpose and joy and social
media and just in my friend group. So those are
things that we never talked about in our twenties and
early thirties, and then now there's a bigger conversation I
think happening that people are starting to ask those questions
of why for what, And I think that's a great
thing that's happening.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
I think our tolerations are changing, right because we each
of us have a limited bank of fucks.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Which is more than just a phrase.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
You can look at the science of willpower and see
that we only have so much before the brain has
to reset and burn it are.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
And I feel like the world.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
That we are living in right now WU are not
WU is taking up a whole lot of space in
each of us. I'm not used to waking up again
wondering if today is going to be the day that
they strike down marriage equality, Like I'm not used to.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Having to give up my fucks for that.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
I'm not used to having to give up my fucks
for my neighbors getting ice rated, like there's stuff going on.
But because of that, I feel like my personal tolerations
have big time change, and I'm becoming irritated and frustrated
by things like over consumerism. Whereas before I'd be like,
(24:25):
why are these women buying ninety dollars cubs at Target?
That's weird? But now I'm looking at my own behaviors
and going, why do I have seven sports bra only
have two boobs?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Right?
Speaker 8 (24:37):
Like?
Speaker 4 (24:37):
What am I supposed to do here?
Speaker 5 (24:39):
And I feel like Similarly, like what Sarah was talking about,
she had this client relationship where it turned out that
there was this huge fissure of ethics between her and
this person that she trusted. Maybe in a different time
that could have persisted for longer. But when Sarah's limited
bank and my limit bank are confronted with things like
(25:04):
a gap in ethics, when both Sarah and I have
built our brand on being ethical, integrity, transparent, all of
the things, we can't ignore that anymore because we're out
of pleasantries, we're out of niceness, we're out of not
taking up as much space. Why are we tolerating these things?
(25:25):
Why are we saying, oh, that's totally fine. Why are
we being and I'm in Chicago if you can't tell
by the accent, but like, why are we being so
Midwestern about everything when.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
We're literally being tread on? Like why? And it's we're not,
We're not anymore.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I also wonder too, if some of it and TikTok
is my guilty pleasure, it's where I used to check
out and just like decompressed from all the things. I
wonder if some of it is if generations before us
just literally didn't know that they had any other options.
Now you can hop on TikTok and people will be like,
you know, my boyfriend said this to me today.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Is that normal? And all these people jump in and
they're like, what the fuck girl?
Speaker 8 (26:02):
No.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I also feel like we're starting to see that there's
so many more options out there for all of us
that we don't have to feel like shit every day,
that we can choose to rebuild into a new purpose.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Now is that an easy process?
Speaker 2 (26:16):
No, it's fucking not, which is why I love what
Sarah brought up and I want to go into this.
All of us have been, as Sarah said, rubbing ourselves
up against these proverbial rocks all year, getting our skin
to shed off. What have all of us been doing
to help with this process? One of the things that
(26:36):
started this for me was that I started experiencing frozen
shoulder last year, and the first thing I do anytime
I have a physical ailment. I was ouched to coffee
with a girlfriend yesterday and she's like, yeah, I just
got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Like, let's see what Louise Hey has to say about this.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Because there's always an energetic reason for a physical ailment.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
So I look up.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Left shoulder injury, Louis Hey, and it says you're carrying
the weight of the world without joy, and that hit
I was like, never have I felt so seen and
also called out by a dead woman. Thank you so much,
Louise Hey. My process this year has been a combination
of not only physical healing, but emotional healing. And where
(27:18):
am I carrying the weight of things that aren't mine
to carry? Or how am I carrying the entire weight
of a nonprofit when instead I could build a board
and get a bunch of people to help me.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
And where am I not having joy? The beginning of.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
This year, I did the Artist's Way to start tapping
back into my creative process. I know I recommended it
to Denise too, And so I've really been doing a
lot of things emotionally.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Spiritually, physically.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I've traveled more this year than probably in the last
five years combined. I've been putting myself into unknown circumstances
and situations, so it forces my brain to think differently
and to approach situations differently. I've been confronted my fears.
I babysat for sixteen chickens, I am fucking terrified of birds.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I've just been.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Honestly throwing spaghetti at the wall this year, being like,
all right, I will do whatever it takes to shed
this skin because I know that whatever's coming after this
is going to be shinier, brighter, bigger, funner.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I know that's not a word than where I've been
at before.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
And I'm just so committed to that level of living
and experiencing life that I have done everything this year
to shed.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
So share with me all of your shedding tips and secrets.
Speaker 7 (28:33):
I have a very bad habit of carrying what people think,
not just about me, but about people who are close
to me, and I have finally, i think, come to
a point of not giving a fuck anymore.
Speaker 6 (28:44):
You can say what you want about me.
Speaker 7 (28:45):
It's getting a lot easier to not carry it anymore.
And I think it has to do with the fact that,
like you said, for the first time, I've started investing
myself again. I joined a pilates studio in April, and
my daughter and I've been going three times a week
when we can. Someone said to me, but that's not
enough to really lose weight or get toned, and I'm like,
I'm doing it for the joy of movement, but thanks
(29:06):
for your input. But it's also I'm able to bond
with my daughter in a more intentional way, which is
something that I don't get to do because I'm working
all the time and she's at school. I've picked up
a ton of coloring books. I used to paint all
the time. I decided that that was not accessible in
a moment's noticed, so like, I have coloring books and
I just color. I got myself some alcohol markers and
(29:28):
I love it. I've also, thank you Instagram, been buying
sticker things where you like create little scenes out of stickers.
I've probably invested a metric ton of money into these things.
But I'm like in luck because they shut everything down
and all you're doing is focusing on this moment. And
I realized that that was what I needed more of,
(29:50):
was just moments with myself to do something that was
utterly pointless, had no monetization, had no external value, was
not something that I had to sell or justify.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
I just I did it.
Speaker 6 (30:03):
It's stupid.
Speaker 7 (30:04):
I do the stickers, they go in the garbage. Nobody
gives a shit. But it has been so fucking liberating.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
One of the things you said, but I really want
to pause on is this idea of doing something without
a goal.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
When's the last time, as highly highly, highly.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Ambitious women we've let ourselves do something for the sake
of doing something without it meaning something more.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Yeah, You're so right for me too.
Speaker 8 (30:28):
It's like tapping back into your inner child, which I
think both of both Annie and Sierra have touched on
as well.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
I started doing all the things I used to love
doing as a kid.
Speaker 8 (30:37):
I sewed, I bought a piano so I could play
the piano again. I started writing lessons again, and that
has brought me so much joy Outside of having to
work on something or like monetize something. That's been really
just such a nice feeling to be able to nurture
my inner child and tap back into what I used
(30:58):
to love to do. Thing that I've done is I
started a secret TikTok account that is my practice for
being myself and just like showing up as who I
want to be without hearing everybody in my life seeing that,
and that's been an amazing experience for me.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I totally follow that account. And I also want to
say I've actually had the privilege of witnessing all three
of you doing this this year as well. I stayed
with Annie in Chicago. She was like trapesing through the
house in her point shoes getting ready for her role.
Like I got to see Denise re wallpaper her living
(31:36):
room and put up new light switches and all these things.
And I've been seeing Sarah's art on Instagram as well,
and it's been really inspiring as someone who's going through
this process to be witnessing other women in the midst
of their shutting process.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Miss Annie, what you got for us?
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Well, I'm in another musical, no point shoes this time,
but they asked me if I can do a toe
touch like cheerleader style, and my answer was yes in
two thousand and two. So now that gives me something
else to focus on. I'm making a lot of gifts again.
Brie and I are addicted to this really weird read book,
and one of the things that it says is that
(32:15):
if you want to manifest, just get yourself into creation mode.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
There's the book for.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Anyone who's listening to this and not watching.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
It's called The fifteen Success Principles for Self Realization and
I literally had it sitting next to me when Johnny
said it, so I just pulled it up.
Speaker 5 (32:27):
But it says like that creation like Sarah was talking about,
like just creation for creation's sake, right, And so I
tend to self prioritize last. So one of the ways
it's been really lovely for me to be creating again
is to be making gifts for people. So right now,
I'm making an ezema salve for my best friend. I'm
making a baby blanket for my other best friend who
(32:50):
just had a baby. I'm decorating everybody's scripts in the musicle,
you know what I mean. I'm baking and making weird
jellies and jams and all these other so that I
give them to people. But what I'm giving myself is
that space. And what I've noticed is that when I'm creating,
I'm not talking, and so what I'm also giving myself
(33:13):
is the gift of silence.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Sometimes actual silence.
Speaker 5 (33:16):
Like I'm not listening to anything, no stimulation whatsoever, just
the cicadas in me. Other times, at least, I'm just
not on I'm not talking, no one needs anything from me.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I'm not checking my email. I don't have my phone.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
People are starting to send me messages being like girl
are you alive, and I'm like, yes, I'm being a
hedge witch. I'm going cottage core. I'll get back to
you after this sav settles. And that's an adjustment.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
As ambitious women, so much of our value and our
identity has been tied so closely to our output, to
our productivity, to how many emails we can write in
a day, how many of this we can do, how
many of that we can do, And personally, I feel
like I'm learning how to walk this again.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
I am learning how to move through the world with.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
A different cadence where you know, in the past, like
Annie said, I'm I am getting ready to redo my
website right now. But in the past, I would have
had the thought of I need to redo my website
and then been like, Okay, let me write all the
copy and then I'm gonna get into the word pres
and I'll have it all done and like ready to
go and like up and live and everything in twenty
four hours. And I just have no interest. I had
(34:24):
the thought about redoing my website like two weeks ago,
and this morning, for the first time, I pulled up
and chat GPT and was like, hey, if I were
to put like a new header on the homepage of
my website.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Given this, this, this, and this, what could it look like?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
It's moving at a different cadence, without scarcity, without expectation.
I said to my clients this morning, letting the inspiration
move me rather than me being the one to hush.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Yeah, And I.
Speaker 8 (34:54):
Inspect that's the feminine energy too. We're also in the
masculine and we're so used to letting that feminine energy
come through. Where you're receiving, you're letting something flow through you.
That's definitely something I'm trying to work on, is tapping
into my feminine energy which has been lost for a
very long time. And I think we can all agree
(35:14):
on that. Finding that again that's a key to unlocking
what's next and what is right for me moving forward.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
We've talked about our shedding, what we've been doing when
we're in the phase of being ready to then getting
clarity or taking first steps or whatever. What have been
yall's processes or do you have any tools to help
move that energy again? Because when asked me yesterday about flow,
and I was like, dude, I have not been in flowing,
(35:42):
Like nothing has been flowing for like nine or ten months.
When we step back into the river, what are you
doing to either know what's next or start moving towards
what's next or being moved by what's next?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
For me, I always go if it's not hell, yes,
it's a no. That's sacred.
Speaker 8 (36:02):
Intuition for me is so important, and so I think
that's kind of just like something that I'm using.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
As a filter for whatever opportunities might come or ideas
come up in my head.
Speaker 7 (36:14):
I'm also one of those people that when I get
an idea, it gets action done right away, Like to
the point where I've had employers before or even clients
tell me, oh, you've already finished them. I'm like, yep,
you told me to do what I gotta done, Like
it's it's done. It's been fighting that eternal nature that
I have always lived in when I get excited about
an idea, now I walk away from it.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
It is the hardest thing that I've ever had to
do in my life.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
But I leave it.
Speaker 7 (36:38):
I'm like, I want the excitement to die and then
I can evaluate it. And that has actually helped me
more with the flow and to like find my spaces
than quick action ever has. Because I know in the
industry you know, quick action, quick action, quick wins. But
there is something to be said for just letting it sit.
Speaker 5 (37:02):
For me, the way out of bed is if my
people are doing something cool and my people need me,
so like, I'm getting out of bed because I'm on
your board free. I'm not heads down on my own
website today because I'm doing this podcast with y'all right now,
and it's reprioritizing and continuing to prioritize the handful of
(37:27):
people that make my business what I want it to
be now and in the future, but also beyond my business.
Speaker 4 (37:34):
Screw that.
Speaker 5 (37:35):
Just I spend my days investing in the people that
invest in me and that I want to continue to
invest in, and that gets me out of being a
very anti centric existence.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
I don't have kids.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
I have like a good jillion pats, like I have
a great husband who takes care of our house and
all the things. Like if I wanted to go on
to Planet Annie and just live there by myself, I could.
I'm an only child. I could be silent for week. However, However,
my loved ones are still doing really cool shit, and
for that, I got to keep moving.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
I can't just stall.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
There is something about whether it's volunteering with an organization
or being committed to being a buddy with someone, or
having people that you want to show up for. Sometimes
that external motivation is what we need to get out
of bed every day. And it was my baby Peaches
that kept me alive for many years because I knew
(38:35):
that she was this little five pound angel that was
depending on me to get up every day and show.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Up for her.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
In our last few minutes, I would love to hear
what's next? Where do we go from here?
Speaker 7 (38:47):
Remembering who I am outside of my brand, and every
time I get a hit of clarity, it's like, oh yeah,
that's who she is.
Speaker 6 (38:56):
And whatever I build next.
Speaker 7 (38:58):
Like just before we had this call, it was on
a consult with a podcast strategist because, like I said,
my podcast is going to get sunset the end of
the year, and I wanted to build something. I love
talking speaking, so like what am I going to do
with it? And like the idea of whatever comes next
is going to be purely because I enjoy it and
having the faith in myself and the universe and whatever
(39:21):
else you want to attribute it to that if it
is meant to bring me whatever goal, then that's great,
that'd be a wonderful byproduct of it, but it can
no longer be the focus of what I create. Whatever
I create has to be something I create because I
genuinely want to, not because it's what I should be doing.
And so I don't have an answer because those answers
(39:42):
are still unfolding and making themselves known.
Speaker 8 (39:45):
I want to step more into the energy of like
wonder and just looking at the world in a different light,
something that's not as jaded and you know, harsh as
what we've come from, and letting that energy kind of
bring in the opportunities.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
I'm not in a place where I'm like, Okay, this
is the path.
Speaker 8 (40:07):
I want to go down yet, or even like these
are the two paths I'm deciding between. I think I'm
trying to be very open to anything that comes in
and then using that like hell yes or no filter
to start guiding me down a new path. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (40:22):
I need to spend a lot of time in my
own head because I'm noticing more and more the thoughts
that I have held so tight that don't even feel
like mindset issues. They just feel factual and like brisaid,
like gen z does not obey rules, They're like, why
are these rules there? Why have I convinced myself that
(40:44):
there's no monetization in content creation? Why have I convinced
myself that I need to work eighty hours a week
to be successful? Why have I convinced myself for so
long that I don't have dreams of my own?
Speaker 4 (40:57):
Why have I convinced myself of these things?
Speaker 5 (41:00):
At the end of the day, I got to be
accountable to me, and I don't think I've been listening
to myself as well as I could, and I don't
think I've prioritized myself as well as I could. And
I'm now seeing that so many of the barriers, not all,
but so many of the barriers that I've kind of
picked up and moved from rebrand to rebrand to rebrand
(41:20):
that don't go away.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
They just move.
Speaker 5 (41:22):
My husband's therapist calls them doom piles, didn't organize, only moved, right,
Like these bad habits that I've kind of kept with me.
They're bad habits because they're of me, and so I
either need to metabolize them and love them and trust
them and just roll with it. Or now, in this
(41:43):
quiet cantalplative season, I have to make a real decision
that I'm going to detach from those pieces of my
identity that were I'm sure self protective at some point,
but now just feel like a whole bunch of bs man.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
You got me with the doom piles. I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
I have no idea what those may look like or
be physically or energetically. I I no idea to the
last point that you made, Annie.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
What's really truly.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Been the process this year and will continue to be
the process is so much of the identity work of
like why have I convinced myself that I again? Coaching
call yesterday and the guy was like, we've been working
together for a few months, and he was like, whoa,
You've been an entrepreneur for eighteen years and you're you've
(42:36):
convinced yourself.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
That you don't have value.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
You're literally like point zero zero zero zero zero zero.
He's like, do you know how many people make it
to five years and how many people make it to
ten and you made it to eighteen, and yet you've
convinced yourself that you're small potatoes and you're lumping yourself
in the bucket with all these other like brand new.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Quote unquote business coaches and like, what what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
A lot of my work has been around identity and
then also letting my vision move me and then collecting
data just like you would with a scientific experiment, and
say what works, what doesn't work, and moving with that.
I put up a request for board members on LinkedIn
a few weeks ago, and it was just a passing
thought and I swear to god, I blacked out when
(43:19):
I actually did the thing.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
I got thirty applications.
Speaker 8 (43:22):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
We went from being a board of four to being
a board of sixteen literally overnight, and I'm like, oh,
growing a nonprofit was not on my Bengo card this year,
but like, holy shit, and one of them I just
have to say this because I'm so proud of it.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
One of them is the one that built the Dollywood Foundation.
So I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Shit, your last boss was Dolly Parton And now, oh, okay, cool.
If that's not a fucking slap in the face and
wake up call to like, girl, get on your identity.
Shit we are at time. I just wanted to thank
each and every one of you so much. I knew
this was going to be good because I know all
of you and it just was so lovely.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Any last thoughts thing for anyone listening.
Speaker 5 (44:01):
I mean, if you're listening to this and you know, Brie,
you are now four degrees away from Dolly herself. Only
four degrees away from Dolly herself.
Speaker 4 (44:11):
What can't you do? You are unlimited, you are Quasar.
What can't you do?
Speaker 5 (44:18):
You are only four degrees away from Dolly Parton herself.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Mike drop yay.
Speaker 7 (44:27):
If you want to do it, just fucking do it.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Collapse for that, agreed, agreed.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Thank you all so much. Everyone.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Make sure to go check the show notes for info
on Sarah Kahn, Denise Lee, and Annie p Ruggles.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Thank you ladies so much for joining me.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
If y'all aren't subscribed yet to Big Goal Energy, please
do subscribe.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
We have some great episodes coming up.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I appreciate all of you for being here and make
it an amazing day.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Go do something today that doesn't have a goal attached
to it.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
If this episode lit something up in you, share it,
text it to a friend, post it to your stories,
or leave a review.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
Because Big Goal.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Energy is meant to be felt far and wide, and
if you're ready to go deeper, explore the tools, hypnosis sessions,
and support. Because your vision deserves more than hustle, join
us on the Big Goal Energy app by visiting your
app store and typing in Big Goal Energy. Your vision,
your goals deserve alignment, ease, and your fullest self behind them.
(45:32):
Until next time, trust yourself, dream bigger, and never forget
you are here for greatness
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