June 24, 2025 • 11 mins
It's another Grimms' Fairytale! Another man wanders into a forest and finds a princess, who saw that coming?! Plus an announcement about upcoming episodes and the newest member of the Book Cult team. (Congrats Sydney!)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello, and welcome to Storytime number sixty something. This episode
is also going to have an announcement because big news,
Sydney had her baby. Baby boy was born on the
June fourteenth, So Sydney's going to be taking some time
off so she can, you know, be home with him.
And in the meantime, I'm gonna host episodes mostly with
(00:33):
my boyfriend Seth. Maybe there'll be an episode with John.
We'll see. But that's my little announcement. So today we're
just gonna do a quick little story time. I've got
Seth here with me. Say hi, Seth, Hello, and yeah.
So let's just get into it. So today I picked
another Grim's fairy tale, well Seth actually picked it. It's
(00:56):
called The Skilled Huntsman. And Seth, what is your prediction
on what this story is going to be about. I
think it's the perspective of the huntsman in red riding hood.
Ooh interesting idea. Okay, no cheating, you can't look awlo,
I'm telling you this story. So here we go. So,
once upon a time there was this guy and he
(01:17):
wanted to be a locksmith, so he apprenticed as one
and like hated it, like day one, he was like
hate this. I don't want to do this actually, So
he told his dad like, I want to be a
huntsman actually, and his dad was like, okay, go be
apprenticed to be a huntsman. Then, so he goes into
the woods and he finds a huntsman and he's like, yo,
train me, and the guy's like okay. So for a
(01:39):
few years he gets trained up by this guy whatever.
At the end of his apprenticeship, the only thing the
huntsman gives him is it's like a gun, and he
tells him this gun like never misses it shot, You'll
always hit your target basically, and he's like cool. So
then he wanders off into a big four and it's
(02:00):
like a force that he can't walk through in a day.
It's giant. And so he wanders through the forest for
like a day looking for things to hunt. And then
at night he climbs into this tree so he can
be away from the wild beasts because you know there's
wild beasts in these stories. And he's sitting up there
and it's like pitch black, and he sees a tiny
little light in the distance and he's like, I'm going
(02:22):
to investigate that. So he like, he takes his hat
off and like throws it in the direction of the
light so he knows which way to go, which I'm like,
if it's pitch black, how you get a fund your
fucking hat? But whatever, He goes down, grabs his hat
and just walks straight in that direction and the light
gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and he it turns
out to be a fire, and so he can see
(02:43):
around the fire there are three ogres and they have
like an ox on a spit that they're cooking, and
he's just like watching in the bushes and one of
the ogres cuts a piece of meat. He's like, I
gotta I'm gonna see if it's done. He cuts a
piece of meat off, he goes to eat it, and
the huntsman shoots the piece of meat out of his hand,
and he's like, shit, man, that wind is crazy tonight.
(03:06):
So the ogre grabs a second piece and then he
goes to eat it and it's shot out of his
hand again, and he turns to the ogre next to
him and he's like, what the fuck, man, don't steal
my meat. And he's like, I didn't steal your meat.
There must be like a sharp shooter, and he must
be like really talented to be able to shoot that
meat like out of your mouth. And so they're like, hey,
(03:27):
sharp shooter, we know you're out there, like, come and
eat with us, and we won't like harm your if
you come out, but if we have to find you,
like no promises, we will harm you. So he comes
out and he comes and sits with them, and he's
eating with them and their chat and whatever, and he's like, yeah,
I can hit any mark like this gun me talent,
great at it. And they're like okay. So like over
(03:51):
across the river, there's a castle and there's a princess
in there that we want to snatch up. But like
there's this little dog on the property that barks at
anyone that approaches, So like, do you think you could
like kill that dog and then we can go get
the princess And he's like yeah, sick, that sounds fun.
So they go across the river. The huntsman does shoot
(04:11):
the dog. Hated that part, but rip, and then he's
like the ogres are like okay, let's go, and he's like,
well let me go. I'll like go through the gate
and check make sure there's nothing else in there, and
then I'll call you guys in when it's safe. And
they're like, okay, good plan. So he like there's like
a gate. I don't know if he like climbs over
the gate and he goes inside the castle and it's nighttime.
(04:35):
I don't know if I mentioned that it's nighttime. And
he goes inside the castle and there's like this big
sword on the wall and he grabs the sword and
it has the king's name on it, and then there's
like a note with the sword, and the note says like,
whoever wields the sword, you will win any fight that
you're in, basically, and he's like cool, So he grabs
the sword. He puts it in his belt, and then
(04:56):
he goes upstairs to the princess's room and she's asleep
in there, and this part didn't really make much sense
to me, but whatever, she he like goes and she
has a pair of slippers under the bed, and one
of the slippers has her name embroidered on it, and
the other slipper has her dad's name embroidered on it,
the king's name. So he takes the one that has
the king's name on it. Puts it in his bag.
(05:18):
And then she has like a robe on the wall
that has her name embroidered on it and the king's
name embroidered on it. So he cuts out the part
that has the king's name and puts it in his bag.
And then she's like in this nightgown and it says
she's sewn into this nightgown, which I'm like, it's crazy
but okay, and it has like a little embulum for
her and a little emblem for her dad. So he
(05:39):
cuts out the one that's for the king and then
he just leaves doesn't touch her even when he cuts
the thing off, does it without touching her, And I'm like, okay,
I guess. And then he heads back down to the
gate where the ogres are waiting, and he's like, hey,
I'm not going to be able to open this gate
for you, but like that princess like she's totally yours.
(05:59):
He like wor like the princess is like willing to
go with them, I don't know. And so he's like,
you can't make it through this gate, but there's this
hole in the wall and I'll help you. I'll pull
you through this hole in the wall and they're like, okay.
So the first ogre sticks his head through the wall
and he grabs his hair and he chops his head off,
and then he pulls his body through the wall, and
the next one same thing, chops his head off, pulls
(06:21):
him and third one chops his head off, pulls them through,
and then he cuts out their tongues and then he
just like leaves. I don't really get why, but he
just leaves. And in the morning, everyone wakes up and
there's three dead ogres in the yard and all this
random shit is you know, her clothing shit is missing,
and they're like, what the fuck happened? And they're like
(06:42):
who did this? They can't figure out who did it.
So the King's like, whoever did this, Once we find him,
he can marry my daughter. I don't know why. He's
impressed by all this, Like his sword is gone, his
little dog is dead, and they fucked with the princess's clothes.
But he's like, whoever did that, you can marr him
my her. And eventually this crusty, gross knight comes forward
(07:04):
and he's like I did it. I did all that shit,
and the King's like, oh my god, thank you. You're
so cool, you can marry my daughter. And the princess
is like, okay, I would rather fucking walk into the
wilderness than marry that guy, Like fuck that guy. And
the King's like, oh yeah, fine, then you should leave
and you should go to the market and you should
open up a stall in the market and sell pottery.
(07:26):
And she's like okay. So she goes to the market
and she gets her a little stall somehow, and then
she goes to the pottery stall and she's like, hey,
can I like have some of your pottery and then
like if I sell it, I'll bring you the profits.
And the pottery guy's like okay, cool. So she goes
to her little stall, but she doesn't know the king
(07:47):
has found some peasants and he's like, hey, my daughter's
gonna go open up a little pottery stall, and I
want you to go to her pottery stall and run
over all her pottery with a cart and break it
all into a thousand pieces. Oh. Sure enough. She gets
all her pottery out, and then some peasants come and
knock all her shit over and break everything. So she's
crying and she goes to the pottery stall. The guy
(08:09):
she got the pottery from and she's like, hey, like
all the pottery got smashed, can I borrow some more?
And then, you know, I'll do it this time. And
the pottery guy's like fuck no, like you owe me money,
Like I'm not giving you more shit. And so she
goes back to the castle and she cries to her
dad about it, and he's like, mm, that sucks. You
know what I'll do for you. I'll build you a
(08:30):
little stall like in the courtyard and then you can
give away food there, but you're not gonna make any profit.
And it's like some sign that's like made today, gone
tomorrow or some shit I don't know. And so that's
what she does. She has a little little stall in
the courtyard. She makes food. People just get it for free.
Word travels around and eventually the huntsman hears about it,
(08:51):
and he's like, oh shit, free food. Cool. So he
goes over there and he goes to her little shack
and he puts his sword on the counter and then
he goes and he's like, yoak, and I have some food.
She gives him some food and he's like eating it,
and she's like, hey, that's my dad's sword. And she's
like and he's like, oh, are you the princess and
she's like yeah, and he's like, oh, yeah, so I
used this sword to like kill those ogres and then
(09:13):
I stole a bunch of like stuff off your clothes
and he like goes in his sack and he shows
her the ogre tongues and all this stuff like her
slippers and stuff, and she's like, holy shit, we gotta
tell my dad. He wants me to marry this dumb,
crusty knight who said he did it. And he's like okay.
So they go in the castle and they tell the
king and he's like, I have the ogre tongues, I
have the clothing. And the king's like sheesh. So they
(09:34):
have dinner that night and the king he like turns
to the knight that claimed that he did all that,
and he's like, hey, what do you think, Like what
do you think if, like you know how we we
looked at those chopped off ogre heads and they had
no tongues, Like why do you think that is like that?
And he's like, oh, obviously those ogres had no tongues,
like duh. And he's like okay, well, what do you
(09:55):
think what should we do? Like if somebody like hypothet
came forward and they had the ogre tongues from those
chopped off heads, Like, what do you think we should
do in that situation the person that said they did that,
and he's like, oh, have them torn to pieces obviously,
And the King's like, cool, you decided your own punishment.
You're gonna get torn to pieces for lying about that.
(10:16):
So the krusty Knight gets killed, and then the huntsman
marries the princess, and when the king dies, the huntsman
becomes king. The end. That's the whole story. It's all
over the place. Welcome to Grim's fairy Tales. Usually there's
someone that gets turned into an animal and then that's
really fun. But there's always some princess that the king
(10:37):
is like, you can be married off to literally anyone
and prize. The princess is always the most beautiful bitch
you've ever seen in your life. That's also mentioned about her,
but I left it out. But yeah, so there's your
first story time. Congratulations, and yeah, I think this is
(10:58):
storytime sixty something. Probably do a lot more story times
for you guys, because they're easier. And yeah, also another
part of this announcement. Only some of you will hear this,
I guess, But since Sydney's out of the run In
for at least a month, I'm going to say We're
going to start Sexy Cowboy Summer is what I'm calling it.
(11:19):
And I'm going to tell Seth about all the sexy
cowboy books that Sydney has bought me for Christmas for
the past four to five years. So the first one
that I'll be reading is called Love of a Cowboy
by Jennifer Ryan, So be excited, Seth. And that's it.
Goodbye bye,
Hello, and welcome to Storytime number sixty something. This episode
is also going to have an announcement because big news,
Sydney had her baby. Baby boy was born on the
June fourteenth, So Sydney's going to be taking some time
off so she can, you know, be home with him.
And in the meantime, I'm gonna host episodes mostly with
(00:33):
my boyfriend Seth. Maybe there'll be an episode with John.
We'll see. But that's my little announcement. So today we're
just gonna do a quick little story time. I've got
Seth here with me. Say hi, Seth, Hello, and yeah.
So let's just get into it. So today I picked
another Grim's fairy tale, well Seth actually picked it. It's
(00:56):
called The Skilled Huntsman. And Seth, what is your prediction
on what this story is going to be about. I
think it's the perspective of the huntsman in red riding hood.
Ooh interesting idea. Okay, no cheating, you can't look awlo,
I'm telling you this story. So here we go. So,
once upon a time there was this guy and he
(01:17):
wanted to be a locksmith, so he apprenticed as one
and like hated it, like day one, he was like
hate this. I don't want to do this actually, So
he told his dad like, I want to be a
huntsman actually, and his dad was like, okay, go be
apprenticed to be a huntsman. Then, so he goes into
the woods and he finds a huntsman and he's like, yo,
train me, and the guy's like okay. So for a
(01:39):
few years he gets trained up by this guy whatever.
At the end of his apprenticeship, the only thing the
huntsman gives him is it's like a gun, and he
tells him this gun like never misses it shot, You'll
always hit your target basically, and he's like cool. So
then he wanders off into a big four and it's
(02:00):
like a force that he can't walk through in a day.
It's giant. And so he wanders through the forest for
like a day looking for things to hunt. And then
at night he climbs into this tree so he can
be away from the wild beasts because you know there's
wild beasts in these stories. And he's sitting up there
and it's like pitch black, and he sees a tiny
little light in the distance and he's like, I'm going
(02:22):
to investigate that. So he like, he takes his hat
off and like throws it in the direction of the
light so he knows which way to go, which I'm like,
if it's pitch black, how you get a fund your
fucking hat? But whatever, He goes down, grabs his hat
and just walks straight in that direction and the light
gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and he it turns
out to be a fire, and so he can see
(02:43):
around the fire there are three ogres and they have
like an ox on a spit that they're cooking, and
he's just like watching in the bushes and one of
the ogres cuts a piece of meat. He's like, I
gotta I'm gonna see if it's done. He cuts a
piece of meat off, he goes to eat it, and
the huntsman shoots the piece of meat out of his hand,
and he's like, shit, man, that wind is crazy tonight.
(03:06):
So the ogre grabs a second piece and then he
goes to eat it and it's shot out of his
hand again, and he turns to the ogre next to
him and he's like, what the fuck, man, don't steal
my meat. And he's like, I didn't steal your meat.
There must be like a sharp shooter, and he must
be like really talented to be able to shoot that
meat like out of your mouth. And so they're like, hey,
(03:27):
sharp shooter, we know you're out there, like, come and
eat with us, and we won't like harm your if
you come out, but if we have to find you,
like no promises, we will harm you. So he comes
out and he comes and sits with them, and he's
eating with them and their chat and whatever, and he's like, yeah,
I can hit any mark like this gun me talent,
great at it. And they're like okay. So like over
(03:51):
across the river, there's a castle and there's a princess
in there that we want to snatch up. But like
there's this little dog on the property that barks at
anyone that approaches, So like, do you think you could
like kill that dog and then we can go get
the princess And he's like yeah, sick, that sounds fun.
So they go across the river. The huntsman does shoot
(04:11):
the dog. Hated that part, but rip, and then he's
like the ogres are like okay, let's go, and he's like,
well let me go. I'll like go through the gate
and check make sure there's nothing else in there, and
then I'll call you guys in when it's safe. And
they're like, okay, good plan. So he like there's like
a gate. I don't know if he like climbs over
the gate and he goes inside the castle and it's nighttime.
(04:35):
I don't know if I mentioned that it's nighttime. And
he goes inside the castle and there's like this big
sword on the wall and he grabs the sword and
it has the king's name on it, and then there's
like a note with the sword, and the note says like,
whoever wields the sword, you will win any fight that
you're in, basically, and he's like cool, So he grabs
the sword. He puts it in his belt, and then
(04:56):
he goes upstairs to the princess's room and she's asleep
in there, and this part didn't really make much sense
to me, but whatever, she he like goes and she
has a pair of slippers under the bed, and one
of the slippers has her name embroidered on it, and
the other slipper has her dad's name embroidered on it,
the king's name. So he takes the one that has
the king's name on it. Puts it in his bag.
(05:18):
And then she has like a robe on the wall
that has her name embroidered on it and the king's
name embroidered on it. So he cuts out the part
that has the king's name and puts it in his bag.
And then she's like in this nightgown and it says
she's sewn into this nightgown, which I'm like, it's crazy
but okay, and it has like a little embulum for
her and a little emblem for her dad. So he
(05:39):
cuts out the one that's for the king and then
he just leaves doesn't touch her even when he cuts
the thing off, does it without touching her, And I'm like, okay,
I guess. And then he heads back down to the
gate where the ogres are waiting, and he's like, hey,
I'm not going to be able to open this gate
for you, but like that princess like she's totally yours.
(05:59):
He like wor like the princess is like willing to
go with them, I don't know. And so he's like,
you can't make it through this gate, but there's this
hole in the wall and I'll help you. I'll pull
you through this hole in the wall and they're like, okay.
So the first ogre sticks his head through the wall
and he grabs his hair and he chops his head off,
and then he pulls his body through the wall, and
the next one same thing, chops his head off, pulls
(06:21):
him and third one chops his head off, pulls them through,
and then he cuts out their tongues and then he
just like leaves. I don't really get why, but he
just leaves. And in the morning, everyone wakes up and
there's three dead ogres in the yard and all this
random shit is you know, her clothing shit is missing,
and they're like, what the fuck happened? And they're like
(06:42):
who did this? They can't figure out who did it.
So the King's like, whoever did this, Once we find him,
he can marry my daughter. I don't know why. He's
impressed by all this, Like his sword is gone, his
little dog is dead, and they fucked with the princess's clothes.
But he's like, whoever did that, you can marr him
my her. And eventually this crusty, gross knight comes forward
(07:04):
and he's like I did it. I did all that shit,
and the King's like, oh my god, thank you. You're
so cool, you can marry my daughter. And the princess
is like, okay, I would rather fucking walk into the
wilderness than marry that guy, Like fuck that guy. And
the King's like, oh yeah, fine, then you should leave
and you should go to the market and you should
open up a stall in the market and sell pottery.
(07:26):
And she's like okay. So she goes to the market
and she gets her a little stall somehow, and then
she goes to the pottery stall and she's like, hey,
can I like have some of your pottery and then
like if I sell it, I'll bring you the profits.
And the pottery guy's like okay, cool. So she goes
to her little stall, but she doesn't know the king
(07:47):
has found some peasants and he's like, hey, my daughter's
gonna go open up a little pottery stall, and I
want you to go to her pottery stall and run
over all her pottery with a cart and break it
all into a thousand pieces. Oh. Sure enough. She gets
all her pottery out, and then some peasants come and
knock all her shit over and break everything. So she's
crying and she goes to the pottery stall. The guy
(08:09):
she got the pottery from and she's like, hey, like
all the pottery got smashed, can I borrow some more?
And then, you know, I'll do it this time. And
the pottery guy's like fuck no, like you owe me money,
Like I'm not giving you more shit. And so she
goes back to the castle and she cries to her
dad about it, and he's like, mm, that sucks. You
know what I'll do for you. I'll build you a
(08:30):
little stall like in the courtyard and then you can
give away food there, but you're not gonna make any profit.
And it's like some sign that's like made today, gone
tomorrow or some shit I don't know. And so that's
what she does. She has a little little stall in
the courtyard. She makes food. People just get it for free.
Word travels around and eventually the huntsman hears about it,
(08:51):
and he's like, oh shit, free food. Cool. So he
goes over there and he goes to her little shack
and he puts his sword on the counter and then
he goes and he's like, yoak, and I have some food.
She gives him some food and he's like eating it,
and she's like, hey, that's my dad's sword. And she's
like and he's like, oh, are you the princess and
she's like yeah, and he's like, oh, yeah, so I
used this sword to like kill those ogres and then
(09:13):
I stole a bunch of like stuff off your clothes
and he like goes in his sack and he shows
her the ogre tongues and all this stuff like her
slippers and stuff, and she's like, holy shit, we gotta
tell my dad. He wants me to marry this dumb,
crusty knight who said he did it. And he's like okay.
So they go in the castle and they tell the
king and he's like, I have the ogre tongues, I
have the clothing. And the king's like sheesh. So they
(09:34):
have dinner that night and the king he like turns
to the knight that claimed that he did all that,
and he's like, hey, what do you think, Like what
do you think if, like you know how we we
looked at those chopped off ogre heads and they had
no tongues, Like why do you think that is like that?
And he's like, oh, obviously those ogres had no tongues,
like duh. And he's like okay, well, what do you
(09:55):
think what should we do? Like if somebody like hypothet
came forward and they had the ogre tongues from those
chopped off heads, Like, what do you think we should
do in that situation the person that said they did that,
and he's like, oh, have them torn to pieces obviously,
And the King's like, cool, you decided your own punishment.
You're gonna get torn to pieces for lying about that.
(10:16):
So the krusty Knight gets killed, and then the huntsman
marries the princess, and when the king dies, the huntsman
becomes king. The end. That's the whole story. It's all
over the place. Welcome to Grim's fairy Tales. Usually there's
someone that gets turned into an animal and then that's
really fun. But there's always some princess that the king
(10:37):
is like, you can be married off to literally anyone
and prize. The princess is always the most beautiful bitch
you've ever seen in your life. That's also mentioned about her,
but I left it out. But yeah, so there's your
first story time. Congratulations, and yeah, I think this is
(10:58):
storytime sixty something. Probably do a lot more story times
for you guys, because they're easier. And yeah, also another
part of this announcement. Only some of you will hear this,
I guess, But since Sydney's out of the run In
for at least a month, I'm going to say We're
going to start Sexy Cowboy Summer is what I'm calling it.
(11:19):
And I'm going to tell Seth about all the sexy
cowboy books that Sydney has bought me for Christmas for
the past four to five years. So the first one
that I'll be reading is called Love of a Cowboy
by Jennifer Ryan, So be excited, Seth. And that's it.
Goodbye bye,
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