September 7, 2025 • 46 mins
the sexy cowboy recap we've all been waiting for! Listen as Sydney finally gets to hear the plots of all those sexy cowboy books (many apparently not even sexy) that she bought all these past years.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello, and welcome back to storytime. I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Seven.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Yeah, it's not as high as it should be, but
that's fine.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
What for hundreds for the minis?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Just a thousand minis and like forty six story times they.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Really have like maybe fifteen movie nights, So I think
we're at leased in the twenties or thirties, but you right,
definitely not in the thirties, max twenties somewhere.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Wow, this story time is going to be just me
recapping the Sexy Cowboys summer for Sydney, because obviously she
needs to know what she's been missing out on. Like
I was just telling you, I definitely put the most
detail in the first story and then kind of got
less detailed as I went along, so we'll see.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I have question, did you include my inscriptions in this recap?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
No? Do you want me to?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Kind of yeah, because I want to know what I wrote.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna pause this recording and let
me get them really quick. Okay, cool, Okay, So I
got all the little notes and bios in there, so
the first one, I'm doing these backwards, by the way,
where I did the most recent ones first, and work
I'm working my way back. So the one you got
me most recently is called The Love of a Cowboy,
(01:28):
and on the inside of the cover you wrote Merry
Sexy Cowboy Christmas twenty twenty five, which did confuse me
for a second because I was like, it's barely twenty
twenty five, but whatever it is, ituld be. And you
said next year, I'll have the baby pick out your book,
which I am very much looking forward to.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Did I mean you put twenty twenty four? Did I
write the wrong year?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I think you did. I think you were just yeah, because.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Christmas twenty twenty five hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
It might have been because like we did Christmas in
twenty twenty five, But I don't know. Maybe you just
messed up pregnancy room. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
No, I probably mess up the year. I usually buy
these like a plunth or so in advance of Christmas. Wow,
So this is.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
The mistake, I guess because I just read it.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
You should correct that in your books so we don't
get confused at what you're there from.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's true, because I will I will get confused in
the future. This one, so far, I think had the
best plot the most drama, So be excited. Okay, So
Sky basically grows up in a colt. It started as
a commune, but then like the og like creator guy
died and his son Gabriel took over, and Gabriel immediately
(02:38):
started getting into alcohol, drugs, and porn, which were like
not in the commune. Originally, it was like they were
like cut off from the outside world a little bit.
They didn't have like TV or anything. But it was
like cool until the og guy died. So when Gabriel
gets into that stuff, naturally this progresses into like sex trafficking,
(02:59):
and Sky, our main character, like finds out about all
of this because she's like essentially running the books for
the commune cult and has been for years now.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I didn't have a farm. What business started doing that
she needs to run?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Okay, Yeah, it's like a big farm. They have chickens,
they have produce, they have it all. It's like kind
of a really big successful deal. Honestly, it was you know, yeah,
it was built really well. It had a really good foundation.
The original guy had a great idea for it, but
his son just sucks, you know how it be? Yeah? Yeah,
So yeah, she's been running the books for years now.
(03:36):
She knows how everything runs. She was the original guy's
like right hand man, essentially, she was helping run everything.
So obviously she notices when a bunch of money starts
like moving around and there's like this big stable in
like out somewhere on the property that all of a
sudden becomes like mysteriously off limits, and so like what's
up with that. She also discovers that Gabriel has as
(04:00):
he's like done a deal with like the local biker gang,
which is like a really bad biker gang that the
FBI is investigating. He has a deal with the biker
gang where he is hiding a bunch of fertilizer for
bombs because there are farms, so it's not suspicious that
they bought a lot of fertilizer. True, there's also like
guns and money and whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Games are really bombers, you know, they don't want to
do bombs.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
These this is the type of biker gang that they
had a big plan to like blow up cities. It's
like a fight club kind of biker gang. They were
gonna like do crime with it. So they're terrorist biker
terrorist gangs, BI selling math. But okay, yeah, this one's
like different. I guess they're not like other biker gangs.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Wow, they should be because other ones don't. They just
get to live their lives selling their drugs for the
most part.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
You know it's true. It's true. Yeah, And so the
the off limits stable in the back I didn't explain.
I don't think I explained this. That's where the sex
trafficking happens. They literally like pick up a bunch of
girls off the street and they're like, hey, do you
have a terrible life and you want a better life,
And they like trick these girls and then trap them
in this stable and sex traffic them. Like it's really terrible. Actually,
(05:11):
the plot, like the side plots, it's like diabolical and sad.
So that's happening. Sky is not into any of this.
When she finds out, she's like, holy shit, like and
then she discovers that there's not much she can do
about it because Gabriel also has the police in his
back pocket and is working with them. So you know,
it goes all the way to the top. And Gabriel,
(05:37):
so when he started, when him and his boys started
get into getting into like set porn and all that noise,
they started like throwing parties and they would have all
the young girls come to the parties and then like
get them drunk and take advantage of them. And so
there's a bunch of young women that are like now
pregnant because of this. And some of these young women
(05:57):
are teenagers. And when I say teenagers, the youngest one
is thirteen, I'm pretty sure, or fourteen. So not a
great situation. And because of these pregnant teenagers, Gabriel is like, Oh,
we're gonna have a bunch of weddings and we're gonna
marry all these pregnant girls. So it's not suspicious that
they're pregnant because they'll be married, and it's fine even
(06:17):
if they're underage, because you know, there's laws like that.
And uh, one of those girls that's supposed to get
married is Sky. She is not pregnant. She has not
been part of these parties. But essentially Gabriel wants to
marry Sky because everyone in the commune likes her because
she runs shit and she's like really great and smart
and stuff. So he wants to marry her because he
(06:38):
thinks if they're married, the commune will like him because
no one really likes him. They kind of think he's
a dick, like he's in charge, but they're not like
happy about it, you know. So that's his plan and
Sky is not into that idea, but she doesn't really
like have an escape route at this point. But then
she's like, I don't know why she's at his house
(06:58):
for some reason, and she like and this is how
the book actually starts, as this scene, she's like looking
for evidence or something and she hears him yelling, and
she like goes upstairs and he's yelling at this girl
that essentially she's pregnant with his child, and he's like,
you need to get an abortion because I'm supposed to
marry Sky tomorrow and she's not gonna want to marry
(07:20):
me if you're pregnant with my kid. And this girl's like, no,
I don't want an abortion, like I'm having this baby.
So Gabriel beats her to death, and Sky witnesses this
and is like, fuck, I gotta get out here. So
she like takes what evidence she knows about that she
can get to and like bolts and she tries to
escape with the child brides because she like grabs them
(07:41):
all and puts them in a van, and she's like,
let's go to the movies, because like going to the
movies is like a treat for them. They'll like go
into town and go to the movie theater and see
a movie, and that's like the most outside world they get.
So she gets all these child brides and like tries
to escape with them, and she like goes to a lawyer,
like the calm Meune's lawyer or whatever, and like is
trying to get him to help, but then Gabriel's men
(08:01):
all show up and like the police, so she has
to like run and escape and she's the only one
that leaves. Basically she finds out later spoiler alert that
lawyer works with Gabriel and is in on it all
and is a bad guy.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
But that lawyer, why not just get the fuck out of.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Town right, Like she was trying not to freak out
the teenage frides, but whatever, she runs off and ends up.
She gets like the next state over, I'm pretty sure,
and on some cowboys farm. His name is Declan, and
luckily she convinces him to like let her stay and
like she'll do farm work. Basically, she's like I know
(08:38):
how to do shit. I will help I work really hard,
and he's like okay, and he can tell that she
has some kind of tragic backstory because she showed up
with just the clothes on her back and she's like,
I don't you know, she hasn't eaten in a couple days.
I think he actually finds her eating, like she's eating
like apples because he has like an apple orchard, and
she's like, hey, I found these apples on the ground
(08:59):
and like, I'll help you clean up your apple orchard,
like if I could eat these apples. And he's like, okay,
you can have the floor apples. I really don't care.
And then she like passes out. It's a whole thing. Whatever.
He's like, yeah, you can work for me, and then
he buys her a bunch of like new clothes and
stuff and whatever. They're both super hot. There's vibes immediately, obviously,
(09:19):
and eventually she tells him more of her backstory because
she realized that realizes that he's like a good guy
that actually wants to help her, and she also like
left behind her like parents and her sister, and she
like really wants to get her little sister out of
there because she doesn't want her to be brainwashed by Gabriel,
you know, it's a whole thing. But Gabriel and his
boys are after her because before she left, she hid
(09:42):
all that stuff that they were hiding for the gang,
so like that's a big deal. She hit all the guns,
she hit all the.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Hissed to their stuff in there.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, and they are they find out pretty early on
and they're like threatening to kill Gabriel basically because they're like,
you said you were cool and and so they're looking
for her. And she eventually tells Declan about all of this,
and he's down to help her however he can, and
they end up like calling the FBI to help since
the cops are useless. But the cops want her to
(10:13):
turn herself in because at this point, Gabriel has framed
her for the murder he committed with the pregnant girl,
even though she was literally beaten to death. And Sky
is like a five 'ot two, tiny blonde bitch, so
she's like, how could I have beaten this woman to death?
But okay, And the FBI is like, I don't know.
Her hair was at the scene, her hair and her
(10:33):
footprints were there, and she's like, real could and planted
that and y'all should so she.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Just lives in the area. But it's possible for a
small person to beat someone to death. I think you're
really selling her short. She could if she wanted to.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
She could if she want but like the way it happened,
like she's shorter than the girl, and like YadA YadA,
the science doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Girl, I mean, she's pregnant. She probab would have fought back,
but like I'm just saying, you're really kind of being
a dick about it, and I think she could have
and she shouldn't sell her so short. I think she
she'd be like, yeah, I could have, but I didn't.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I chose not to.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Okay, not no, I definitely could have done it.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
She could have, but she didn't. But whatever. So Gabriel's
men do find her. She's like working in the apple
orchard and they just like show up and she's like eh,
and she's like running, and Declan's there, and then I
think they like capture her, and then I forget how exactly,
but Declin gets like recruited by the FBI to help
like save her, because like the FBI have a guy
(11:34):
undercover in the biker gang. So they're like, oh, you
need to find that guy somehow and then you can
like get Sky and he's like oh, or like I
don't know. He ends up shooting dudes and it's fine
because he's working with the FBI, and I was like,
I don't I don't think that's how okay, I don't know. Whatever.
She somehow gets Gabriel to like admit to everything on
(11:56):
tape I think, or maybe they shoot him, I don't remember,
but she gives all the evidence back and like helps
the FBI get the gang into jail, and then her
and dec Lane are in love. At this point, right,
you think the story is over, it's not, because she's
got to get her cult commune running how it's supposed
to because now.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
She's gonna take care of the cult.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So she goes back to the cult commune and she's like, hey,
we should be more like a commune and less like
a cult, and she makes it more like a co
op farm type thing kind of, and then she's there
for like months, like it takes a really long time
and uh, but eventually she gets it. So it's like
they run without her having to be there and she
(12:40):
can run it from long distance and then visits like sometimes.
So then she goes back to live with Declan and
they get married or whatever and live happily ever after.
So that's the first story. Second story also crime related,
which was surprising. This one was called Cowboys Justice Case
(13:02):
File ninety seven four zero one. I thought it was
really funny they put the case file, so I was like,
I'll say it every time, bitch, I love that.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I want there to be that many books in series.
I wanted to have started at number one, and she
is average twenty seven thousand books.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
You know, it could happen. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
They're probably not that hard to rite.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Probably not. So here's your message. This is Sexy Cowboy
Christmas twenty twenty three. See, you got it right. The
other year's it was just last year. I guess I
was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Okay, le me up.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
This year, not only do you get a guy with
abs and a cowboy hat, you also get one who
backs the blue. It's truly your dream man. You're welcome,
love Sydney. The funniest thing about that there's no abs
on the cover of the book, so I don't know
why he said that.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm sure he has abs.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Okay, he probably does. Honestly, Okay, this one, hopefully I
explain it in a way that is not confusing. So
Christi is our main character this story. So when she's
in college, her best friend and roommate, Maara, is murdered
and the killer is not found. She finishes her degree
(14:18):
and like leaves town and like moves away, but she
comes back I don't remember how many years later, because
she's offered a job teaching at the college and she's
like broke, so she takes it. And she doesn't know
that Mara's brother, Rider is like campus security at the
college now because like he basically won't leave until he
(14:39):
solves his sister's death. It's like this whole thing. His
best friend is the dean, but it's not. He's not
the dean, but his name is Dean, and that confused me.
I forget what he is, but like he's not the
dean whatever. He he hears that Christie is back and
he thinks that she knows who killed his sister and
(15:00):
is like giving the killer an alibi basically whatever. When
Christy is moving in to this college like campus, faculty, dorm, whatever,
her apartment is like ransacked and like someone leaves a
like writes a note on the mirror that's like you
shouldn't have come back or some shit, and so she
calls security and Rider comes over and she's like, oh
(15:22):
my god, you're Mara's brother, and he's like yeah, and
he's like checking out her apartment or whatever, and he's
like gonna get the police to come because since they
don't know if anything's missing, I don't know, and he's
gonna like get her new apartment to live in or whatever.
But like she walks off and goes to wait in
the campus church while he's investigating, because she's a church
(15:44):
girl and that's where she used to hang out when
she went to college there. And this kind of this
church like notoriously has like faulty lighting, so like the
electricity goes out like every single time they're in this
fucking church, And at this point when she's in there,
the lights go out, and then like someone's in the
church wish with her, and they like push her down
(16:07):
and then like run off, and then writer shows up
and she's like someone pushed me down and he's like what,
and then they like talk to the pastor dude shows
up and he's old or whatever. I don't know. They
act like the pastor guy is really suspicious, but he's not,
because like he's like an old dude, right, and he
remembers Christie and he's like, oh my god, yeah, you
used to go here, YadA YadA, But like Writer had
(16:29):
talked to him earlier and he was like what Christie,
who the fuck is that? And so like Writer's like
really suspicious of the pastor, but he's just.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Old old guy for not remembering things always.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
He's the murderer. He's not, I'll tell you right now. Whatever.
So she starts teaching her class and it's like an
instant hit because it's some kind of like creative writing
or like book class because she just talks about the
book that she has published, and like the students like
eat it up. They're like really into it her classes.
(17:02):
She published one children's.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Book that's not that impressive.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
It's really not, but I have one. Macts like it
is whatever. Ryder thinks that she knows about his sister's
murder because Christie's story. Here's the story. So she went
to a party with Mara and got drunk, like her
first time ever getting drunk, and then like got sick
and woke up in Mara's boyfriend Skip's room, and Skip
(17:30):
said he took care of her the entire night, so
like she skips alibi, and Ryder thinks that Skip is
the one that killed Mara because he was like a crazy, possessive,
obsessed boyfriend and he sent her like a bunch of
psychotexts and letters and stuff, and writer always thought that
was weird and suspicious. Well it's always the boyfriend too,
So yeah, it's literally always the boyfriend, but he can't
(17:50):
prove it. And now Skip has like a restraining order
against him because he like wouldn't leave him alone. And
Christy is like, I seriously don't remember that night, so
I wish I could help you, but I don't remember shit.
And then like some more suspicious things happen, like she
shot at a couple of times, like while driving, and
then she like totals her car, and then she's like
(18:11):
pushed down the stairs and like gets a concussion and
all this noise, and then she's like in the hospital
because of the concussion. I'm pretty sure, and or maybe
something I don't know, something else might have happened. There's
she gets attacked a lot, but also like not much
happens at the same time. But eventually she figures out
that Maraa was gonna break up with Skip because she
(18:33):
was really into her teacher, which like nothing was happening
with the teacher because the teacher is also Writer's best friend,
the dean who's not the dean that guy.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Okay, how old is your brother that their college tea
he's hanging out with college professors.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
You know, I don't know how well that's really explained.
I know, he was like a really young teacher at
the time, but he's like the hot teacher that all
the girls were into, and Maraa had like all of
his class somehow, which like Christie thought was weird because
like she could only get into one of his classes
and like most people could only get into one because
he was so popular because all the girls liked him,
(19:09):
but like he wasn't doing anything with Marra that's like
a dead end, but like whatever. Anyways, so she had
that whole thing with her teacher, she was going to
break up with their shitty boyfriend. And then Christy like
talks to her mom about it and realizes that, like
the story of the night doesn't make sense because she
(19:29):
was told by like some other girls at the party
that when she was drunk, she started flirting with Skip
and tried to kiss him, and then Mara got really
mad and like left her alone at the party, and
like that's they got separated, and then Mara got murdered. Basically,
but she realizes that doesn't make any sense because there
was no way that Mara would have left her there
because it was like her first party, and like, why
(19:51):
would she flirt with her boyfriend, Like even if she did,
like she whatever, you know. And also they realized that
Christy was probably drugged because she's like, yeah, I took
one sip of Marra's drink and then got super sick
and don't remember anything and didn't drink any other alcohol,
just that one drink and then that was it. And
(20:12):
they eventually they talked to Skip's wife, and she was
one of the college mean girls that kind of told
Christie like, oh, you flirted with Skip and then Mara
got mad at you. They find out from her that
this bitch helped maraa carry Christie across the campus after
(20:33):
she got sick and passed out. And so basically the
story that Christy has heard is wrong, because what happened
was she drank the drink, got sick, passed out, and
then MARAA and this other girl carried her back to
the dorm and Mara was gonna like go to bed
or whatever, but she like went in her room and
Skip was in there just being a creep. I forget
(20:53):
what he was doing, but he's like going through her
shit or something, and so she freaks out, she don't
know who this is, and like tax him in self
defense and then he kills her. So it was Skip
that did it, and obviously it's always the fucking boyfriend.
And then he carried Christy back to his room so
that he could use her as an alibi, and then
(21:15):
like cleaned up and whatever, and then they somehow corner
him in the church and then he admits all of
this on tape. You know, the villain loves to admit shit.
And then I think Writer like shoots him and then
they arrest him, and then Christian Writer fall in love,
and then I think she keeps teaching there, and he's like,
I can't remember if she keeps teaching or if he
(21:37):
decides he's going to go back and do rodeo stuff,
because he was a rodeo dude before he became campus.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
When the cowboy came.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
In, Yeah, well he also I forgot to mention that
this whole time when he's campus security, he's riding a horse,
like he has a horse on campus. And this is
in like Michigan or some shit. Okay, it doesn't make
any sense, and there's like a stable on campus and
his horse lives there, but like, okay, it's weird. So
(22:05):
whatever they get together the end, he doesn't have to
be campus security anymore. The next one is called hold
Me Cowboy. So this was twenty twenty two. I guess
I didn't put the year, but I think that's how
that math goes. So here's what you said, May this
be the year you finally find a cowboy to love.
(22:26):
Let this book be your inspiration to find a man
wearing a cowboy hat while it's snowing. Good luck, bitch.
So this one does have a man and a cowboy
hat while it's snowing on the front cover. So that
made sense.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I don't like, I feel like you should wear that
and a snow it's snow hat.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Were a meanie, you know, Yeah, beanie makes more sense.
But I guess if it's like a quality cowboy hat,
it's not gonna like but.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
The snow is collect and it's gonna get it, gonna
get heavy. Street.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
You gotta dust off your hat every once in a while.
That's a summer hat, you know, the summer hat.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
All spring sometimes, but summer. It's a summer hat.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Cowboys, not in the winter. No winter cowboys. Okay, So
this one is the only Christmas ey book, and it's
the one that I told you about that's basically twelve
days of fucking. So but it's like not that exciting. Actually,
So this bitch Madison literally rents a cabin in the
woods with the intention of taking a man there and
(23:28):
just banging all weekend. That's like her entire plan because
it's been like ten years since she's had sex because
the only man that she's ever had sex with was
some forty year old guy when she was like eighteen,
and he was like her. He's like her because she
did like she was like a writer, like a jockey writer.
(23:50):
She did horse jockie riding shit when she was younger,
and this guy was like her coach or something, so
he essentially groomed her and that gross it was. It
gets worse. He used her and like basically told her like, yeah,
I'm going to divorce my wife and then we can
get together. One of those types. And then when the
affair like became public, everyone blamed her for.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Ruining kidd blame the child.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Literally like her friends, her dad. Everyone was like like
her dad was her dad was literally like if you're
gonna be one of those types of women, at least
like don't get caught. Basically, I guess.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Good advice, but she's a kid, and he's probably the
dad's age, so maybe you so try to bite that
dude or something.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Well, and then they're like, you're gonna ruin that guy's life. Whatever.
It didn't ruin that guy's life because his wife didn't
even leave him, and then he ended up like becoming
an Olympic applete and like winning a b.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
He's too old, yeah, and I'm pretty sure he was
like for swimming.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I don't know, I don't know, doesn't matter, no, but
like a random tidbit to put in, like like actually.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
This guy's doing great, by the way.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Perfectly don't know her anyways, Madison's bang bro does not
show up because it like snows a bunch, so he
can't make it out there, and then her cabin loses
power and like so the heat and all that all gone,
and so she has to go next door because there's
another cabin and then someone's in it and she knocks
(25:25):
on the door, and that cabin happens to be occupied
by her enemy, Sam. Sam is the ferrier for her
dad's big old horse ranch. I don't really know. Her
dad's like rich as fuck. She still works for her dad,
even though he thinks that she's a dirty little whore.
I don't know what she does for him, but whatever,
(25:47):
her dad he's got a lot of money. So yeah,
Sam works for her dad. And whenever he shows up,
Madison shows up to bicker with him and just like
be a bitch basically, and so Sam lets her come
in and like be warm. He like goes to her
cabin and tries to see if he can fix it.
He can't, whatever, and then she ends up telling him
like what her weekend plans were, and he ends up
(26:08):
agreeing to fill that void. So they bang it out
all weekend and then she's like, hey, I still hate you,
but I'm not done fucking you. So let's essentially have
sex for the next twelve days and that'll be it.
And he's like okay, because he also hasn't had sex
in like six years because he has his own trauma.
And he's like, but no falling in love and she's like,
(26:29):
ew as if you know so, of course, then she
gets feelings, big surprise. It's like day seven, she's like
in love with him. She's decided, and because it turns
out that they're bickering has just been them fighting the
sexual attraction. She ends up professing her love for him,
(26:50):
and he's like, girl, you may have gotten over your trauma,
but like, I'm still not trying to fall in love.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Yeah, he needs four more years.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Okay, girl, wait to you. Here is fucking try trauma?
Oh no, what here's the thing?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Had a weird one. Oh it was the Heather rom
com book we read where he said I can't date
someone because I don't like to fuck. No, he doesn't
like to come. That's what it was.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. Forgot this one. Okay.
It's like it's a sad story, but like it's stupid.
So here's his trauma. He used to have this girl
that he was banging and they weren't like official, but
like they were. They were going out unofficially for months basically,
(27:37):
and then she ghosted him, so he assumed it was over.
And then one day she calls him because she's in
the emergency room bleeding out and she wanted to talk
to him before she died because turns out she was
pregnant with his baby, but it turned out to be
an ectopic pregnancy and she didn't know until it killed her.
So by the time he gets to the hospital, she's dead,
(27:59):
and like his family's there and yeah, it's super sad,
and like he blames himself for it, though, he's like,
she died because of me, and literally everyone he tells
this too, is like I mean, I mean like yes,
but no, not yes, you got her pregnant, but like.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
That her pregnancy was on the outside.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Yeah, yeah, And so he basically is like, oh, I'm
not allowed to be happier in love because of that.
He's like, her family's sad, so I have to be
sad for the rest of my life. It makes no sense. Also,
he makes art that's like a thing I forgot about.
It's all like cowboy related art, Like I don't I
(28:41):
can't remember if it's like metal work or what, but
it's like giant like sculptures of like horses and cowboys
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
I bet there's a good market for that.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
It sells really well. It's really touristic. But he wants
to make like really deep emotional art but he's like,
that won't sell and I don't even know how to
do that. And it's like this whole thing.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well sell, stick with your little horses, that's what it's
gonna make you money. Sorry.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Yeah, And then he like shows Madison his art studio
and it's like a big deal because he doesn't show
it to a lot of people. And then she just
starts stripping and he's like, no, don't ruin this for me,
and then he bangs her up against a horse statue.
So like he gets over that. Whatever, that was just
a scene. Whatever. So he talks to his brother or
something and basically realizes that he's still allowed to love
(29:28):
even though this woman died. So then he shows up
because like Madison invited him to her family's Christmas party
because she didn't want to go alone, and she was like,
my family sucks. My dad's gonna be there. Oh, and
he was like, I can't love you. But then he
shows up to the Christmas party and is like, hey,
I think I love you, and she's like good. She's like,
(29:49):
he tries to do like a whole like I realized
that I'm in love, give her like a whole speech
and everything, and she's like, I don't even care. That's
good enough for me. Let's make out and that's it
the end. And I was like, I mean, I think
you could let him talk a little bit. You both
have some trauma you need to get over. But she's
just like ignore it. And I'm like, I mean, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
It's been years, move on.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
You know, you're right, Sydney.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Her dad think she's just made a slip, but you know.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
I know. Okay, the last one, since Micah is pissed
about you doing anything not with him.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Oh yeah, you can hear that. I can hear his
door is open, because it's not it would be shut
at the moment.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
You know what, Micah can have a cameo on this episode.
He's part of the book cult family now is what
he loves. He's he's yeah, he's got his own ship
going on. Okay, So the last one is called the
New deputy in town. So another fucking cop.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Was your most cowboys?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
You know, a parent. I guess cowboys were kind of
I mean they were kind of cop. I don't know,
doesn't matter. Here's the message this year. The cowboy has
his shirt on because he is all business. Only the
best men are cowboys deep down, obvi. So move to Montana,
Mary a cop, jk A cab Love Sydney aka young Upstart's.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, that was happening.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yeah so I think that was twenty twenty one or
twenty two, I don't know. This is when I realized
that the first two Cowboy books you bought me had
shirtless cowboys on them, so all the shirtless cowboy comments
made sense. After that.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
It's harder and harder to find shortless one these days.
I do specifically look for shirtless ones, but it's hard
to find.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I guess you gotta go based on shirtless cowboys, or
just on titles, or just having cowboy in the fucking title,
because that's pretty funny. Anyways, let's get into this one.
This one takes place in tinytown, Montana, and I'm gonna
do the worst summary. So if it doesn't make sense,
(32:04):
ask questions. Okay, This one opens on this girl like
getting ready and then grabbing a baseball bat because for
the past couple of weeks someone has been beating men
outside of a bar with a baseball mat. It's like
one man every Saturday night.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
And it's a woman doing this.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yes, the men don't know, but it is a woman
doing it.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I think she is right.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Wait till you hear her her inspiration. That's not the word,
but you know, here we go. So cut to the
actual plot. Nick Rogers, he's some big shot cop but
he's like he's like from Lake California, but he's like
in Montana covering for a cop that's on vacation in Florida.
(32:56):
It didn't really make sense to me, but really he's
hiding out because he's a witness in a murder trial
that's gonna happen because he has to testify against his
former like his childhood best friend and they grew up
and were cops together, but his best friend turned out
to be a dirty cop and now he's got to
testify against him. So he's hiding out in Montana until
(33:19):
the trial dates. So that because this guy is like out,
he's not in jail, so he his best friend is
like looking for him, so he's like hiding so he
doesn't get murdered before the trial. Basically they have.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Witness protection and stuff for that, but I guess send
him to Montana to do the same job.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Yep, just go to Montana and hang out with the locals.
So we actually don't find out that plot point until
like the very end of the book. It's really annoying
because they make it like he like has this like
cell phone that he keeps like in his desk and
he just like turns it on once a day to
see if he has a text telling him he's in danger,
and it's really annoying because you're like, what the fuck
is that odd about? And you don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Keep it on because if you get a text, what
if you got it right after you turned it on
for that day, and so you won't get to the
next day and then you're like, oh, fuck, I'm in
danger and then that's.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Too late, no, because that literally happens. At one point
he's going to like meet with the love interest and
the phone rings and he's like and he just leaves anyways,
and it's his buddy calling to be like your cover's
been blown, so like that does happen, but he's stupid,
so whatever, Okay, whatever. So he's in town. He meets
(34:31):
some girl named Laney and she has a sister named Lacey,
which I really hated that they had similar names. They're
not twins, I don't do.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
It's fine if they're twins.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Right to me, it makes sense if twins have really
similar names. People do that. But just like Laney and Lacey,
I was like, hey, that it's too similar. Really confused
me for a while. Whatever. Laney and Lacey come to
Montana every year to visit their grandparents because they were
like raised by their grandparents or something. But they had
a mom. I don't fuck no, I don't remember, so whatever.
(35:06):
Their cousin, Mattie, also lives in town. She just got
engaged and she's not in a healthy relationship, and they
can kind of tell that something's going on with her
because she's like lost a bunch of weight and is
like really skittish, and they're like, hmm, I also they're.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Just jealous that she got skinny.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
That's all exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Well.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
And so Lacey is like trying to start a catering business,
so she's like a chef or whatever. So she's like,
oh my god, Maddie, let me cater your engagement party
and also throw you an engagement party. And Mattie's like, oh,
I don't know about all that, and but she does
it anyways, so I don't know. Some more stuff happens.
They invite Nick to the engagement party, obviously because he's
(35:48):
like the new hot copying town and him and Laney
have chemistry immediately, so like he's gonna show up at
the engagement party. Though. There's this bitch named Geraldine. She's
like this old lady. She eats a macaroon that happens
to be poisoned and dies.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Okay, yeah, that's not grey for her catering business. Bad
luck wus eat your food and dies.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
That's her first thought is like, what about my catering business?
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Bad You got to cover that one up, make sure
people go hear about this.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Yeah. Nick finds out this macaroon was poisoned with a
shit ton of arsenic. Everyone thinks that Geraldine had a
heart attack. In reality, it was arsenic poisoning. Only this
one cookie was poisoned though, So that's the suspicious part
because they're like, okay, were they trying to kill Geraldine
or was it someone else? So yeah, he's obviously going
(36:40):
to investigate Lacey first because she cooked all the food
for the party, but like she obviously didn't do it,
and he can kind of tell immediately, but he's like,
I gotta cover all my bases. Laney decides that she's
gonna help Nick solve the murder because she doesn't want
him to arrest her sister or her cousin because she's
watched crime shows and knows that innocent pill get arrested sometimes,
(37:01):
and she's like, not my family. So she's like, I
have to help you with this murder trial. I'm from
the small town. Obviously I can help you. And he's like,
please don't, but she does anyways, So they also like
go on some dates along the way. Obviously there's also
so there's like this whole plot point with Mattie's mother
(37:22):
in law. Her name is Arlene. She's a fucking bitch,
she sucks and uh so she has three kids. I
don't remember the fiance's name. Mattie's fiance Bo. His name's Bo.
So there's Bo, Violet, and Charlotte, and I think Violet's
the oldest and then Bow and then Charlotte. Charlotte's like seventeen.
(37:44):
I don't know how old Bo and Violet are, but
Arlene very much is like, oh my god, my sweet
baby boy. Bo can never do anything wrong. So Bo
is a terrible, sucky human being.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
That's a boy. Mom. I agree, my baby boy.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
I can do no wrong. No one is good enough
for him. That's Arlene. She also doesn't like her daughter
Violet because Violet is fat and not trying to get married,
and she's her to get married.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
What a bit fat and not trying to get married?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Yikes? What what's the point? Charlotte She's okay with because
Charlotte is young and hot, so like she thinks she's
gonna get married soon. So Charlotte, she has helped for.
Arlene starts like a small town local dating website and
like takes pictures of everyone at the engagement party and
(38:37):
like makes this dating site. This becomes a whole thing
because it's like it gets on the news for some reason.
It's never really expect.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
You're signing people up for a dating website she created
and nobody asks to be part of.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Yeah, and she like pairs up Laney and Nick and
that's how his like former cop friend like finds him.
But it's also not I don't know, it's it's on
the news for no reason. It makes no sense. But
Arlene's the worst. Basically, she's a terrible mother in law
and like during the point of like, people keep trying
to kill her throughout this book. She gets almost dying.
(39:13):
She falls down some stairs and breaks her arm and
gets a concussion, and then while she's in the hospital
someone tries to kill her two different times. It's a
whole thing. Also, it turns out it's her children who
are trying to kill her. Basically, Yeah, because I don't
explain the plot of this one at all. Her children
hate her so much, and so they poison the cookie
(39:35):
and they wanted her to eat the cookie and die,
but Geraldine grabbed it before she could, so because she
didn't die because of the cookie, her son pushes her
down the stairs that also doesn't kill her, and then
they try to suffocate her. Violet gets arrested for trying
to kill her mother a bunch, and then it's found
(39:55):
out that Charlotte is the one beaten dudes with a
baseball bat. She's doing it because essentially Violet is at
the bar trying to like find a man, and all
the men that won't go out with Violet. When they
leave the bar, Charlotte beats someone with a fucking baseball bat.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
See she had a good reason. I knew she did.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
It's really not terrible because she's like she's like everyone
likes me because I'm hot, but my sister is a
great personality, and no one.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
Likes being a good sister basically, So there's all that,
and then like also like Maddie ends up having a
mental breakdown because so sure her engagement does get ended.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
I think Bo ends it because he sucks. But like
you find out that like she used to work for Geraldine,
and Geraldine's husband was like sexually abusing her, and so
then Geraldine killed her husband to like protect Maddie, which.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Likes down has a lot of murderers.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Right, And then Geraldine buried the body in her yard
and then was just like, my husband went home and died.
That's so crazy because he's like from a different state.
So she's just like he went there and died, it's crazy,
and no one investigated it. So then Maddie was like
depressed and lost a bunch of weight because she was
being abused and then got engaged to a shitty guy
because she had no self confidence. YadA YadA. She does
(41:23):
get help and gets treatment, so like we assume she
gets a happy ending, not with that guy. So then
Nick's pass catches up with him because his former best
friend cop finds out where he is. I don't remember how.
It's not the online dating service, so I don't know
how he gets found. But his cop friend like finds
(41:45):
Laney and kidnaps her and then like takes her to
this like abandoned hotel, and like Nick is, he's like
leads Nick there and then he like makes Laney get
naked and then ties her up and throw her in
the pool. Because Nick is scared of water, I guess,
so he's like, oh, he'll never go in the pool.
(42:06):
And so then Nick and his best friend have this
like fight, you know, and lady's just like in the
pool and she's she's literally like she'll go to the
bottom and then like boeing, like bounce up to the top,
get a breath of air, and she's just bouncing around
the pool like that. While Nick and his former best
friend are fighting, she gets shot while she's bouncing around
(42:27):
in the pool, but in a way that's like not
life threatening. And then Nick kills or at least contains
his former best friends so that he can testify at
the trial. YadA YadA. They both live, and then I
think they both decide to stay in tiny town, Montana
and get together because they're in love. Oh okay, I
(42:50):
forgot to mention they went on a couple dates and
banged and then he was like, my past is catching
up to me, and then like leaves and she's like
what And then his past catches up to him and
that happens and that's it the end. Wow, that's what
you missed for the cowboys snummer.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
A lot of drummer. That one had a lot of murder,
I expect.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
I know, I was kind of surprised about you kept
picking crime books that were pretty good.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
It's just what they are. I guess that's just what
it's being sold.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
That's what cowboys are into, maybe.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Cowboys solving crime or doing crime.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Also, most of these for the reviews, people were like,
I got this book for free, and this is my
review of it. Like I've sent this book and here's
my review, and they were all like this is great,
and it's like all the same fucking reviews over and
over again, and I was like, did they send you
the review with the book?
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Like god damn, And yeah, I feel like reviews are
just you know, AI is random. They're not fun anymore.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Also, I forget which one one of these books did
have a second bonus story in it, which was like
almost as long as the first story, which I was like, okay,
And the bonus story was called black Tie Billionaire and
it was like about a billionaire falling in love with
some bitch, and I was like, I don't care about
no billionaires, like.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Not even a taboy. It's in a cowboy book. It
should be cowboys.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
It wasn't a cow Also the funniest part of that book.
So it was like, okay, I'm gonna give you a
very quick not even tell you the plot point, but
it like it opens on this girl and it's like
her family is like billionaires, but she has friends that
are plubs and her best friend is like a plub,
a normal girl, and so like her best friend can't
(44:36):
work this like waitress job at this party, so she
covers for her, and she's wearing like a wig and
like glasses and stuff, so she doesn't look like herself
and she's just supposed to a waitress at this like
mansion party, and then this billionaire notices her and they
like have a moment, and then the power goes out
and she ends up with the billionaire and they end
up fucking in the dark, right, and then the next
(44:57):
day she goes back to her lifestyle and then ends
up like fake dating the billionaire because like the billionaire
hates her brother because the brother broke his sister's heart
or some shit weirdly complicated. She ends up like they
make a deal and they're not supposed to like kiss. Well,
they can kiss, but she's like, we're not gonna bang,
and he's like, okay, but I bang really well and
(45:17):
she's like no. They end up banging, and then he's
like when he's inside of her, he's like, I recognize her,
and he's like, how could I ever forget? And he
realizes who she is, the girl that he banged before,
and then he's like, oh my god, was she in
disguise like trying to get with get back like double
(45:39):
cross him or some shit. I don't know. They end
up together and her brother ends up in jail for
some reason. It's fine, but.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
These books so complicated.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
It's really good drama. Sometimes I'll give him that. Wow,
don't expect it.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Can't wait to see which one Mike he picks out
for you, because apparently he's picking it out this year.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
And I can't wait. Maybe it'll have cops in it again,
that's popular.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
I guess cowboys and cops, you know, they love each other.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Yeah, so if you guys like that, uh, we have
like not that many story times, but quite a few
story times and other episodes you could listen to. You
can listen to the full length cowboy episodes if you
want wherever you listen to podcasts, and while you're there,
give us a little five star review.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
And yeah, and if you want to find out what
how sexy these cowboys are? You can follow us on Instagram,
epical podcast on TikTok and book hold Pod and online
at book hold podtwordpress dot com.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Yeah, so whatever, goodbye bye
Hello, and welcome back to storytime. I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Seven.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Yeah, it's not as high as it should be, but
that's fine.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
What for hundreds for the minis?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Just a thousand minis and like forty six story times they.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Really have like maybe fifteen movie nights, So I think
we're at leased in the twenties or thirties, but you right,
definitely not in the thirties, max twenties somewhere.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Wow, this story time is going to be just me
recapping the Sexy Cowboys summer for Sydney, because obviously she
needs to know what she's been missing out on. Like
I was just telling you, I definitely put the most
detail in the first story and then kind of got
less detailed as I went along, so we'll see.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I have question, did you include my inscriptions in this recap?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
No? Do you want me to?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Kind of yeah, because I want to know what I wrote.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna pause this recording and let
me get them really quick. Okay, cool, Okay, So I
got all the little notes and bios in there, so
the first one, I'm doing these backwards, by the way,
where I did the most recent ones first, and work
I'm working my way back. So the one you got
me most recently is called The Love of a Cowboy,
(01:28):
and on the inside of the cover you wrote Merry
Sexy Cowboy Christmas twenty twenty five, which did confuse me
for a second because I was like, it's barely twenty
twenty five, but whatever it is, ituld be. And you
said next year, I'll have the baby pick out your book,
which I am very much looking forward to.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Did I mean you put twenty twenty four? Did I
write the wrong year?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I think you did. I think you were just yeah, because.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Christmas twenty twenty five hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
It might have been because like we did Christmas in
twenty twenty five, But I don't know. Maybe you just
messed up pregnancy room. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
No, I probably mess up the year. I usually buy
these like a plunth or so in advance of Christmas. Wow,
So this is.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
The mistake, I guess because I just read it.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
You should correct that in your books so we don't
get confused at what you're there from.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's true, because I will I will get confused in
the future. This one, so far, I think had the
best plot the most drama, So be excited. Okay, So
Sky basically grows up in a colt. It started as
a commune, but then like the og like creator guy
died and his son Gabriel took over, and Gabriel immediately
(02:38):
started getting into alcohol, drugs, and porn, which were like
not in the commune. Originally, it was like they were
like cut off from the outside world a little bit.
They didn't have like TV or anything. But it was
like cool until the og guy died. So when Gabriel
gets into that stuff, naturally this progresses into like sex trafficking,
(02:59):
and Sky, our main character, like finds out about all
of this because she's like essentially running the books for
the commune cult and has been for years now.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I didn't have a farm. What business started doing that
she needs to run?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Okay, Yeah, it's like a big farm. They have chickens,
they have produce, they have it all. It's like kind
of a really big successful deal. Honestly, it was you know, yeah,
it was built really well. It had a really good foundation.
The original guy had a great idea for it, but
his son just sucks, you know how it be? Yeah? Yeah,
So yeah, she's been running the books for years now.
(03:36):
She knows how everything runs. She was the original guy's
like right hand man, essentially, she was helping run everything.
So obviously she notices when a bunch of money starts
like moving around and there's like this big stable in
like out somewhere on the property that all of a
sudden becomes like mysteriously off limits, and so like what's
up with that. She also discovers that Gabriel has as
(04:00):
he's like done a deal with like the local biker gang,
which is like a really bad biker gang that the
FBI is investigating. He has a deal with the biker
gang where he is hiding a bunch of fertilizer for
bombs because there are farms, so it's not suspicious that
they bought a lot of fertilizer. True, there's also like
guns and money and whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Games are really bombers, you know, they don't want to
do bombs.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
These this is the type of biker gang that they
had a big plan to like blow up cities. It's
like a fight club kind of biker gang. They were
gonna like do crime with it. So they're terrorist biker
terrorist gangs, BI selling math. But okay, yeah, this one's
like different. I guess they're not like other biker gangs.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Wow, they should be because other ones don't. They just
get to live their lives selling their drugs for the
most part.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
You know it's true. It's true. Yeah, And so the
the off limits stable in the back I didn't explain.
I don't think I explained this. That's where the sex
trafficking happens. They literally like pick up a bunch of
girls off the street and they're like, hey, do you
have a terrible life and you want a better life,
And they like trick these girls and then trap them
in this stable and sex traffic them. Like it's really terrible. Actually,
(05:11):
the plot, like the side plots, it's like diabolical and sad.
So that's happening. Sky is not into any of this.
When she finds out, she's like, holy shit, like and
then she discovers that there's not much she can do
about it because Gabriel also has the police in his
back pocket and is working with them. So you know,
it goes all the way to the top. And Gabriel,
(05:37):
so when he started, when him and his boys started
get into getting into like set porn and all that noise,
they started like throwing parties and they would have all
the young girls come to the parties and then like
get them drunk and take advantage of them. And so
there's a bunch of young women that are like now
pregnant because of this. And some of these young women
(05:57):
are teenagers. And when I say teenagers, the youngest one
is thirteen, I'm pretty sure, or fourteen. So not a
great situation. And because of these pregnant teenagers, Gabriel is like, Oh,
we're gonna have a bunch of weddings and we're gonna
marry all these pregnant girls. So it's not suspicious that
they're pregnant because they'll be married, and it's fine even
(06:17):
if they're underage, because you know, there's laws like that.
And uh, one of those girls that's supposed to get
married is Sky. She is not pregnant. She has not
been part of these parties. But essentially Gabriel wants to
marry Sky because everyone in the commune likes her because
she runs shit and she's like really great and smart
and stuff. So he wants to marry her because he
(06:38):
thinks if they're married, the commune will like him because
no one really likes him. They kind of think he's
a dick, like he's in charge, but they're not like
happy about it, you know. So that's his plan and
Sky is not into that idea, but she doesn't really
like have an escape route at this point. But then
she's like, I don't know why she's at his house
(06:58):
for some reason, and she like and this is how
the book actually starts, as this scene, she's like looking
for evidence or something and she hears him yelling, and
she like goes upstairs and he's yelling at this girl
that essentially she's pregnant with his child, and he's like,
you need to get an abortion because I'm supposed to
marry Sky tomorrow and she's not gonna want to marry
(07:20):
me if you're pregnant with my kid. And this girl's like, no,
I don't want an abortion, like I'm having this baby.
So Gabriel beats her to death, and Sky witnesses this
and is like, fuck, I gotta get out here. So
she like takes what evidence she knows about that she
can get to and like bolts and she tries to
escape with the child brides because she like grabs them
(07:41):
all and puts them in a van, and she's like,
let's go to the movies, because like going to the
movies is like a treat for them. They'll like go
into town and go to the movie theater and see
a movie, and that's like the most outside world they get.
So she gets all these child brides and like tries
to escape with them, and she like goes to a lawyer,
like the calm Meune's lawyer or whatever, and like is
trying to get him to help, but then Gabriel's men
(08:01):
all show up and like the police, so she has
to like run and escape and she's the only one
that leaves. Basically she finds out later spoiler alert that
lawyer works with Gabriel and is in on it all
and is a bad guy.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
But that lawyer, why not just get the fuck out of.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Town right, Like she was trying not to freak out
the teenage frides, but whatever, she runs off and ends up.
She gets like the next state over, I'm pretty sure,
and on some cowboys farm. His name is Declan, and
luckily she convinces him to like let her stay and
like she'll do farm work. Basically, she's like I know
(08:38):
how to do shit. I will help I work really hard,
and he's like okay, and he can tell that she
has some kind of tragic backstory because she showed up
with just the clothes on her back and she's like,
I don't you know, she hasn't eaten in a couple days.
I think he actually finds her eating, like she's eating
like apples because he has like an apple orchard, and
she's like, hey, I found these apples on the ground
(08:59):
and like, I'll help you clean up your apple orchard,
like if I could eat these apples. And he's like, okay,
you can have the floor apples. I really don't care.
And then she like passes out. It's a whole thing. Whatever.
He's like, yeah, you can work for me, and then
he buys her a bunch of like new clothes and
stuff and whatever. They're both super hot. There's vibes immediately, obviously,
(09:19):
and eventually she tells him more of her backstory because
she realized that realizes that he's like a good guy
that actually wants to help her, and she also like
left behind her like parents and her sister, and she
like really wants to get her little sister out of
there because she doesn't want her to be brainwashed by Gabriel,
you know, it's a whole thing. But Gabriel and his
boys are after her because before she left, she hid
(09:42):
all that stuff that they were hiding for the gang,
so like that's a big deal. She hit all the guns,
she hit all the.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Hissed to their stuff in there.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, and they are they find out pretty early on
and they're like threatening to kill Gabriel basically because they're like,
you said you were cool and and so they're looking
for her. And she eventually tells Declan about all of this,
and he's down to help her however he can, and
they end up like calling the FBI to help since
the cops are useless. But the cops want her to
(10:13):
turn herself in because at this point, Gabriel has framed
her for the murder he committed with the pregnant girl,
even though she was literally beaten to death. And Sky
is like a five 'ot two, tiny blonde bitch, so
she's like, how could I have beaten this woman to death?
But okay, And the FBI is like, I don't know.
Her hair was at the scene, her hair and her
(10:33):
footprints were there, and she's like, real could and planted
that and y'all should so she.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Just lives in the area. But it's possible for a
small person to beat someone to death. I think you're
really selling her short. She could if she wanted to.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
She could if she want but like the way it happened,
like she's shorter than the girl, and like YadA YadA,
the science doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Girl, I mean, she's pregnant. She probab would have fought back,
but like I'm just saying, you're really kind of being
a dick about it, and I think she could have
and she shouldn't sell her so short. I think she
she'd be like, yeah, I could have, but I didn't.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I chose not to.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Okay, not no, I definitely could have done it.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
She could have, but she didn't. But whatever. So Gabriel's
men do find her. She's like working in the apple
orchard and they just like show up and she's like eh,
and she's like running, and Declan's there, and then I
think they like capture her, and then I forget how exactly,
but Declin gets like recruited by the FBI to help
like save her, because like the FBI have a guy
(11:34):
undercover in the biker gang. So they're like, oh, you
need to find that guy somehow and then you can
like get Sky and he's like oh, or like I
don't know. He ends up shooting dudes and it's fine
because he's working with the FBI, and I was like,
I don't I don't think that's how okay, I don't know. Whatever.
She somehow gets Gabriel to like admit to everything on
(11:56):
tape I think, or maybe they shoot him, I don't remember,
but she gives all the evidence back and like helps
the FBI get the gang into jail, and then her
and dec Lane are in love. At this point, right,
you think the story is over, it's not, because she's
got to get her cult commune running how it's supposed
to because now.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
She's gonna take care of the cult.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So she goes back to the cult commune and she's like, hey,
we should be more like a commune and less like
a cult, and she makes it more like a co
op farm type thing kind of, and then she's there
for like months, like it takes a really long time
and uh, but eventually she gets it. So it's like
they run without her having to be there and she
(12:40):
can run it from long distance and then visits like sometimes.
So then she goes back to live with Declan and
they get married or whatever and live happily ever after.
So that's the first story. Second story also crime related,
which was surprising. This one was called Cowboys Justice Case
(13:02):
File ninety seven four zero one. I thought it was
really funny they put the case file, so I was like,
I'll say it every time, bitch, I love that.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I want there to be that many books in series.
I wanted to have started at number one, and she
is average twenty seven thousand books.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
You know, it could happen. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
They're probably not that hard to rite.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Probably not. So here's your message. This is Sexy Cowboy
Christmas twenty twenty three. See, you got it right. The
other year's it was just last year. I guess I
was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Okay, le me up.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
This year, not only do you get a guy with
abs and a cowboy hat, you also get one who
backs the blue. It's truly your dream man. You're welcome,
love Sydney. The funniest thing about that there's no abs
on the cover of the book, so I don't know
why he said that.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm sure he has abs.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Okay, he probably does. Honestly, Okay, this one, hopefully I
explain it in a way that is not confusing. So
Christi is our main character this story. So when she's
in college, her best friend and roommate, Maara, is murdered
and the killer is not found. She finishes her degree
(14:18):
and like leaves town and like moves away, but she
comes back I don't remember how many years later, because
she's offered a job teaching at the college and she's
like broke, so she takes it. And she doesn't know
that Mara's brother, Rider is like campus security at the
college now because like he basically won't leave until he
(14:39):
solves his sister's death. It's like this whole thing. His
best friend is the dean, but it's not. He's not
the dean, but his name is Dean, and that confused me.
I forget what he is, but like he's not the
dean whatever. He he hears that Christie is back and
he thinks that she knows who killed his sister and
(15:00):
is like giving the killer an alibi basically whatever. When
Christy is moving in to this college like campus, faculty, dorm, whatever,
her apartment is like ransacked and like someone leaves a
like writes a note on the mirror that's like you
shouldn't have come back or some shit, and so she
calls security and Rider comes over and she's like, oh
(15:22):
my god, you're Mara's brother, and he's like yeah, and
he's like checking out her apartment or whatever, and he's
like gonna get the police to come because since they
don't know if anything's missing, I don't know, and he's
gonna like get her new apartment to live in or whatever.
But like she walks off and goes to wait in
the campus church while he's investigating, because she's a church
(15:44):
girl and that's where she used to hang out when
she went to college there. And this kind of this
church like notoriously has like faulty lighting, so like the
electricity goes out like every single time they're in this
fucking church, And at this point when she's in there,
the lights go out, and then like someone's in the
church wish with her, and they like push her down
(16:07):
and then like run off, and then writer shows up
and she's like someone pushed me down and he's like what,
and then they like talk to the pastor dude shows
up and he's old or whatever. I don't know. They
act like the pastor guy is really suspicious, but he's not,
because like he's like an old dude, right, and he
remembers Christie and he's like, oh my god, yeah, you
used to go here, YadA YadA, But like Writer had
(16:29):
talked to him earlier and he was like what Christie,
who the fuck is that? And so like Writer's like
really suspicious of the pastor, but he's just.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Old old guy for not remembering things always.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
He's the murderer. He's not, I'll tell you right now. Whatever.
So she starts teaching her class and it's like an
instant hit because it's some kind of like creative writing
or like book class because she just talks about the
book that she has published, and like the students like
eat it up. They're like really into it her classes.
(17:02):
She published one children's.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Book that's not that impressive.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
It's really not, but I have one. Macts like it
is whatever. Ryder thinks that she knows about his sister's
murder because Christie's story. Here's the story. So she went
to a party with Mara and got drunk, like her
first time ever getting drunk, and then like got sick
and woke up in Mara's boyfriend Skip's room, and Skip
(17:30):
said he took care of her the entire night, so
like she skips alibi, and Ryder thinks that Skip is
the one that killed Mara because he was like a crazy, possessive,
obsessed boyfriend and he sent her like a bunch of
psychotexts and letters and stuff, and writer always thought that
was weird and suspicious. Well it's always the boyfriend too,
So yeah, it's literally always the boyfriend, but he can't
(17:50):
prove it. And now Skip has like a restraining order
against him because he like wouldn't leave him alone. And
Christy is like, I seriously don't remember that night, so
I wish I could help you, but I don't remember shit.
And then like some more suspicious things happen, like she
shot at a couple of times, like while driving, and
then she like totals her car, and then she's like
(18:11):
pushed down the stairs and like gets a concussion and
all this noise, and then she's like in the hospital
because of the concussion. I'm pretty sure, and or maybe
something I don't know, something else might have happened. There's
she gets attacked a lot, but also like not much
happens at the same time. But eventually she figures out
that Maraa was gonna break up with Skip because she
(18:33):
was really into her teacher, which like nothing was happening
with the teacher because the teacher is also Writer's best friend,
the dean who's not the dean that guy.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Okay, how old is your brother that their college tea
he's hanging out with college professors.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
You know, I don't know how well that's really explained.
I know, he was like a really young teacher at
the time, but he's like the hot teacher that all
the girls were into, and Maraa had like all of
his class somehow, which like Christie thought was weird because
like she could only get into one of his classes
and like most people could only get into one because
he was so popular because all the girls liked him,
(19:09):
but like he wasn't doing anything with Marra that's like
a dead end, but like whatever. Anyways, so she had
that whole thing with her teacher, she was going to
break up with their shitty boyfriend. And then Christy like
talks to her mom about it and realizes that, like
the story of the night doesn't make sense because she
(19:29):
was told by like some other girls at the party
that when she was drunk, she started flirting with Skip
and tried to kiss him, and then Mara got really
mad and like left her alone at the party, and
like that's they got separated, and then Mara got murdered. Basically,
but she realizes that doesn't make any sense because there
was no way that Mara would have left her there
because it was like her first party, and like, why
(19:51):
would she flirt with her boyfriend, Like even if she did,
like she whatever, you know. And also they realized that
Christy was probably drugged because she's like, yeah, I took
one sip of Marra's drink and then got super sick
and don't remember anything and didn't drink any other alcohol,
just that one drink and then that was it. And
(20:12):
they eventually they talked to Skip's wife, and she was
one of the college mean girls that kind of told
Christie like, oh, you flirted with Skip and then Mara
got mad at you. They find out from her that
this bitch helped maraa carry Christie across the campus after
(20:33):
she got sick and passed out. And so basically the
story that Christy has heard is wrong, because what happened
was she drank the drink, got sick, passed out, and
then MARAA and this other girl carried her back to
the dorm and Mara was gonna like go to bed
or whatever, but she like went in her room and
Skip was in there just being a creep. I forget
(20:53):
what he was doing, but he's like going through her
shit or something, and so she freaks out, she don't
know who this is, and like tax him in self
defense and then he kills her. So it was Skip
that did it, and obviously it's always the fucking boyfriend.
And then he carried Christy back to his room so
that he could use her as an alibi, and then
(21:15):
like cleaned up and whatever, and then they somehow corner
him in the church and then he admits all of
this on tape. You know, the villain loves to admit shit.
And then I think Writer like shoots him and then
they arrest him, and then Christian Writer fall in love,
and then I think she keeps teaching there, and he's like,
I can't remember if she keeps teaching or if he
(21:37):
decides he's going to go back and do rodeo stuff,
because he was a rodeo dude before he became campus.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
When the cowboy came.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
In, Yeah, well he also I forgot to mention that
this whole time when he's campus security, he's riding a horse,
like he has a horse on campus. And this is
in like Michigan or some shit. Okay, it doesn't make
any sense, and there's like a stable on campus and
his horse lives there, but like, okay, it's weird. So
(22:05):
whatever they get together the end, he doesn't have to
be campus security anymore. The next one is called hold
Me Cowboy. So this was twenty twenty two. I guess
I didn't put the year, but I think that's how
that math goes. So here's what you said, May this
be the year you finally find a cowboy to love.
(22:26):
Let this book be your inspiration to find a man
wearing a cowboy hat while it's snowing. Good luck, bitch.
So this one does have a man and a cowboy
hat while it's snowing on the front cover. So that
made sense.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I don't like, I feel like you should wear that
and a snow it's snow hat.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Were a meanie, you know, Yeah, beanie makes more sense.
But I guess if it's like a quality cowboy hat,
it's not gonna like but.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
The snow is collect and it's gonna get it, gonna
get heavy. Street.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
You gotta dust off your hat every once in a while.
That's a summer hat, you know, the summer hat.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
All spring sometimes, but summer. It's a summer hat.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Cowboys, not in the winter. No winter cowboys. Okay, So
this one is the only Christmas ey book, and it's
the one that I told you about that's basically twelve
days of fucking. So but it's like not that exciting. Actually,
So this bitch Madison literally rents a cabin in the
woods with the intention of taking a man there and
(23:28):
just banging all weekend. That's like her entire plan because
it's been like ten years since she's had sex because
the only man that she's ever had sex with was
some forty year old guy when she was like eighteen,
and he was like her. He's like her because she
did like she was like a writer, like a jockey writer.
(23:50):
She did horse jockie riding shit when she was younger,
and this guy was like her coach or something, so
he essentially groomed her and that gross it was. It
gets worse. He used her and like basically told her like, yeah,
I'm going to divorce my wife and then we can
get together. One of those types. And then when the
affair like became public, everyone blamed her for.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Ruining kidd blame the child.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Literally like her friends, her dad. Everyone was like like
her dad was her dad was literally like if you're
gonna be one of those types of women, at least
like don't get caught. Basically, I guess.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Good advice, but she's a kid, and he's probably the
dad's age, so maybe you so try to bite that
dude or something.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Well, and then they're like, you're gonna ruin that guy's life. Whatever.
It didn't ruin that guy's life because his wife didn't
even leave him, and then he ended up like becoming
an Olympic applete and like winning a b.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
He's too old, yeah, and I'm pretty sure he was
like for swimming.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I don't know, I don't know, doesn't matter, no, but
like a random tidbit to put in, like like actually.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
This guy's doing great, by the way.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Perfectly don't know her anyways, Madison's bang bro does not
show up because it like snows a bunch, so he
can't make it out there, and then her cabin loses
power and like so the heat and all that all gone,
and so she has to go next door because there's
another cabin and then someone's in it and she knocks
(25:25):
on the door, and that cabin happens to be occupied
by her enemy, Sam. Sam is the ferrier for her
dad's big old horse ranch. I don't really know. Her
dad's like rich as fuck. She still works for her dad,
even though he thinks that she's a dirty little whore.
I don't know what she does for him, but whatever,
(25:47):
her dad he's got a lot of money. So yeah,
Sam works for her dad. And whenever he shows up,
Madison shows up to bicker with him and just like
be a bitch basically, and so Sam lets her come
in and like be warm. He like goes to her
cabin and tries to see if he can fix it.
He can't, whatever, and then she ends up telling him
like what her weekend plans were, and he ends up
(26:08):
agreeing to fill that void. So they bang it out
all weekend and then she's like, hey, I still hate you,
but I'm not done fucking you. So let's essentially have
sex for the next twelve days and that'll be it.
And he's like okay, because he also hasn't had sex
in like six years because he has his own trauma.
And he's like, but no falling in love and she's like,
(26:29):
ew as if you know so, of course, then she
gets feelings, big surprise. It's like day seven, she's like
in love with him. She's decided, and because it turns
out that they're bickering has just been them fighting the
sexual attraction. She ends up professing her love for him,
(26:50):
and he's like, girl, you may have gotten over your trauma,
but like, I'm still not trying to fall in love.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Yeah, he needs four more years.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Okay, girl, wait to you. Here is fucking try trauma?
Oh no, what here's the thing?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Had a weird one. Oh it was the Heather rom
com book we read where he said I can't date
someone because I don't like to fuck. No, he doesn't
like to come. That's what it was.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. Forgot this one. Okay.
It's like it's a sad story, but like it's stupid.
So here's his trauma. He used to have this girl
that he was banging and they weren't like official, but
like they were. They were going out unofficially for months basically,
(27:37):
and then she ghosted him, so he assumed it was over.
And then one day she calls him because she's in
the emergency room bleeding out and she wanted to talk
to him before she died because turns out she was
pregnant with his baby, but it turned out to be
an ectopic pregnancy and she didn't know until it killed her.
So by the time he gets to the hospital, she's dead,
(27:59):
and like his family's there and yeah, it's super sad,
and like he blames himself for it, though, he's like,
she died because of me, and literally everyone he tells
this too, is like I mean, I mean like yes,
but no, not yes, you got her pregnant, but like.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
That her pregnancy was on the outside.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Yeah, yeah, And so he basically is like, oh, I'm
not allowed to be happier in love because of that.
He's like, her family's sad, so I have to be
sad for the rest of my life. It makes no sense. Also,
he makes art that's like a thing I forgot about.
It's all like cowboy related art, Like I don't I
(28:41):
can't remember if it's like metal work or what, but
it's like giant like sculptures of like horses and cowboys
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
I bet there's a good market for that.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
It sells really well. It's really touristic. But he wants
to make like really deep emotional art but he's like,
that won't sell and I don't even know how to
do that. And it's like this whole thing.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well sell, stick with your little horses, that's what it's
gonna make you money. Sorry.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Yeah, And then he like shows Madison his art studio
and it's like a big deal because he doesn't show
it to a lot of people. And then she just
starts stripping and he's like, no, don't ruin this for me,
and then he bangs her up against a horse statue.
So like he gets over that. Whatever, that was just
a scene. Whatever. So he talks to his brother or
something and basically realizes that he's still allowed to love
(29:28):
even though this woman died. So then he shows up
because like Madison invited him to her family's Christmas party
because she didn't want to go alone, and she was like,
my family sucks. My dad's gonna be there. Oh, and
he was like, I can't love you. But then he
shows up to the Christmas party and is like, hey,
I think I love you, and she's like good. She's like,
(29:49):
he tries to do like a whole like I realized
that I'm in love, give her like a whole speech
and everything, and she's like, I don't even care. That's
good enough for me. Let's make out and that's it
the end. And I was like, I mean, I think
you could let him talk a little bit. You both
have some trauma you need to get over. But she's
just like ignore it. And I'm like, I mean, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
It's been years, move on.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
You know, you're right, Sydney.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Her dad think she's just made a slip, but you know.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
I know. Okay, the last one, since Micah is pissed
about you doing anything not with him.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Oh yeah, you can hear that. I can hear his
door is open, because it's not it would be shut
at the moment.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
You know what, Micah can have a cameo on this episode.
He's part of the book cult family now is what
he loves. He's he's yeah, he's got his own ship
going on. Okay, So the last one is called the
New deputy in town. So another fucking cop.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Was your most cowboys?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
You know, a parent. I guess cowboys were kind of
I mean they were kind of cop. I don't know,
doesn't matter. Here's the message this year. The cowboy has
his shirt on because he is all business. Only the
best men are cowboys deep down, obvi. So move to Montana,
Mary a cop, jk A cab Love Sydney aka young Upstart's.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, that was happening.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yeah so I think that was twenty twenty one or
twenty two, I don't know. This is when I realized
that the first two Cowboy books you bought me had
shirtless cowboys on them, so all the shirtless cowboy comments
made sense. After that.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
It's harder and harder to find shortless one these days.
I do specifically look for shirtless ones, but it's hard
to find.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I guess you gotta go based on shirtless cowboys, or
just on titles, or just having cowboy in the fucking title,
because that's pretty funny. Anyways, let's get into this one.
This one takes place in tinytown, Montana, and I'm gonna
do the worst summary. So if it doesn't make sense,
(32:04):
ask questions. Okay, This one opens on this girl like
getting ready and then grabbing a baseball bat because for
the past couple of weeks someone has been beating men
outside of a bar with a baseball mat. It's like
one man every Saturday night.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
And it's a woman doing this.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yes, the men don't know, but it is a woman
doing it.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I think she is right.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Wait till you hear her her inspiration. That's not the word,
but you know, here we go. So cut to the
actual plot. Nick Rogers, he's some big shot cop but
he's like he's like from Lake California, but he's like
in Montana covering for a cop that's on vacation in Florida.
(32:56):
It didn't really make sense to me, but really he's
hiding out because he's a witness in a murder trial
that's gonna happen because he has to testify against his
former like his childhood best friend and they grew up
and were cops together, but his best friend turned out
to be a dirty cop and now he's got to
testify against him. So he's hiding out in Montana until
(33:19):
the trial dates. So that because this guy is like out,
he's not in jail, so he his best friend is
like looking for him, so he's like hiding so he
doesn't get murdered before the trial. Basically they have.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Witness protection and stuff for that, but I guess send
him to Montana to do the same job.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Yep, just go to Montana and hang out with the locals.
So we actually don't find out that plot point until
like the very end of the book. It's really annoying
because they make it like he like has this like
cell phone that he keeps like in his desk and
he just like turns it on once a day to
see if he has a text telling him he's in danger,
and it's really annoying because you're like, what the fuck
is that odd about? And you don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Keep it on because if you get a text, what
if you got it right after you turned it on
for that day, and so you won't get to the
next day and then you're like, oh, fuck, I'm in
danger and then that's.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Too late, no, because that literally happens. At one point
he's going to like meet with the love interest and
the phone rings and he's like and he just leaves anyways,
and it's his buddy calling to be like your cover's
been blown, so like that does happen, but he's stupid,
so whatever, Okay, whatever. So he's in town. He meets
(34:31):
some girl named Laney and she has a sister named Lacey,
which I really hated that they had similar names. They're
not twins, I don't do.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
It's fine if they're twins.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Right to me, it makes sense if twins have really
similar names. People do that. But just like Laney and Lacey,
I was like, hey, that it's too similar. Really confused
me for a while. Whatever. Laney and Lacey come to
Montana every year to visit their grandparents because they were
like raised by their grandparents or something. But they had
a mom. I don't fuck no, I don't remember, so whatever.
(35:06):
Their cousin, Mattie, also lives in town. She just got
engaged and she's not in a healthy relationship, and they
can kind of tell that something's going on with her
because she's like lost a bunch of weight and is
like really skittish, and they're like, hmm, I also they're.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Just jealous that she got skinny.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
That's all exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Well.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
And so Lacey is like trying to start a catering business,
so she's like a chef or whatever. So she's like,
oh my god, Maddie, let me cater your engagement party
and also throw you an engagement party. And Mattie's like, oh,
I don't know about all that, and but she does
it anyways, so I don't know. Some more stuff happens.
They invite Nick to the engagement party, obviously because he's
(35:48):
like the new hot copying town and him and Laney
have chemistry immediately, so like he's gonna show up at
the engagement party. Though. There's this bitch named Geraldine. She's
like this old lady. She eats a macaroon that happens
to be poisoned and dies.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Okay, yeah, that's not grey for her catering business. Bad
luck wus eat your food and dies.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
That's her first thought is like, what about my catering business?
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Bad You got to cover that one up, make sure
people go hear about this.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Yeah. Nick finds out this macaroon was poisoned with a
shit ton of arsenic. Everyone thinks that Geraldine had a
heart attack. In reality, it was arsenic poisoning. Only this
one cookie was poisoned though, So that's the suspicious part
because they're like, okay, were they trying to kill Geraldine
or was it someone else? So yeah, he's obviously going
(36:40):
to investigate Lacey first because she cooked all the food
for the party, but like she obviously didn't do it,
and he can kind of tell immediately, but he's like,
I gotta cover all my bases. Laney decides that she's
gonna help Nick solve the murder because she doesn't want
him to arrest her sister or her cousin because she's
watched crime shows and knows that innocent pill get arrested sometimes,
(37:01):
and she's like, not my family. So she's like, I
have to help you with this murder trial. I'm from
the small town. Obviously I can help you. And he's like,
please don't, but she does anyways, So they also like
go on some dates along the way. Obviously there's also
so there's like this whole plot point with Mattie's mother
(37:22):
in law. Her name is Arlene. She's a fucking bitch,
she sucks and uh so she has three kids. I
don't remember the fiance's name. Mattie's fiance Bo. His name's Bo.
So there's Bo, Violet, and Charlotte, and I think Violet's
the oldest and then Bow and then Charlotte. Charlotte's like seventeen.
(37:44):
I don't know how old Bo and Violet are, but
Arlene very much is like, oh my god, my sweet
baby boy. Bo can never do anything wrong. So Bo
is a terrible, sucky human being.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
That's a boy. Mom. I agree, my baby boy.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
I can do no wrong. No one is good enough
for him. That's Arlene. She also doesn't like her daughter
Violet because Violet is fat and not trying to get married,
and she's her to get married.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
What a bit fat and not trying to get married?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Yikes? What what's the point? Charlotte She's okay with because
Charlotte is young and hot, so like she thinks she's
gonna get married soon. So Charlotte, she has helped for.
Arlene starts like a small town local dating website and
like takes pictures of everyone at the engagement party and
(38:37):
like makes this dating site. This becomes a whole thing
because it's like it gets on the news for some reason.
It's never really expect.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
You're signing people up for a dating website she created
and nobody asks to be part of.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Yeah, and she like pairs up Laney and Nick and
that's how his like former cop friend like finds him.
But it's also not I don't know, it's it's on
the news for no reason. It makes no sense. But
Arlene's the worst. Basically, she's a terrible mother in law
and like during the point of like, people keep trying
to kill her throughout this book. She gets almost dying.
(39:13):
She falls down some stairs and breaks her arm and
gets a concussion, and then while she's in the hospital
someone tries to kill her two different times. It's a
whole thing. Also, it turns out it's her children who
are trying to kill her. Basically, Yeah, because I don't
explain the plot of this one at all. Her children
hate her so much, and so they poison the cookie
(39:35):
and they wanted her to eat the cookie and die,
but Geraldine grabbed it before she could, so because she
didn't die because of the cookie, her son pushes her
down the stairs that also doesn't kill her, and then
they try to suffocate her. Violet gets arrested for trying
to kill her mother a bunch, and then it's found
(39:55):
out that Charlotte is the one beaten dudes with a
baseball bat. She's doing it because essentially Violet is at
the bar trying to like find a man, and all
the men that won't go out with Violet. When they
leave the bar, Charlotte beats someone with a fucking baseball bat.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
See she had a good reason. I knew she did.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
It's really not terrible because she's like she's like everyone
likes me because I'm hot, but my sister is a
great personality, and no one.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
Likes being a good sister basically, So there's all that,
and then like also like Maddie ends up having a
mental breakdown because so sure her engagement does get ended.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
I think Bo ends it because he sucks. But like
you find out that like she used to work for Geraldine,
and Geraldine's husband was like sexually abusing her, and so
then Geraldine killed her husband to like protect Maddie, which.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Likes down has a lot of murderers.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Right, And then Geraldine buried the body in her yard
and then was just like, my husband went home and died.
That's so crazy because he's like from a different state.
So she's just like he went there and died, it's crazy,
and no one investigated it. So then Maddie was like
depressed and lost a bunch of weight because she was
being abused and then got engaged to a shitty guy
because she had no self confidence. YadA YadA. She does
(41:23):
get help and gets treatment, so like we assume she
gets a happy ending, not with that guy. So then
Nick's pass catches up with him because his former best
friend cop finds out where he is. I don't remember how.
It's not the online dating service, so I don't know
how he gets found. But his cop friend like finds
(41:45):
Laney and kidnaps her and then like takes her to
this like abandoned hotel, and like Nick is, he's like
leads Nick there and then he like makes Laney get
naked and then ties her up and throw her in
the pool. Because Nick is scared of water, I guess,
so he's like, oh, he'll never go in the pool.
(42:06):
And so then Nick and his best friend have this
like fight, you know, and lady's just like in the
pool and she's she's literally like she'll go to the
bottom and then like boeing, like bounce up to the top,
get a breath of air, and she's just bouncing around
the pool like that. While Nick and his former best
friend are fighting, she gets shot while she's bouncing around
(42:27):
in the pool, but in a way that's like not
life threatening. And then Nick kills or at least contains
his former best friends so that he can testify at
the trial. YadA YadA. They both live, and then I
think they both decide to stay in tiny town, Montana
and get together because they're in love. Oh okay, I
(42:50):
forgot to mention they went on a couple dates and
banged and then he was like, my past is catching
up to me, and then like leaves and she's like
what And then his past catches up to him and
that happens and that's it the end. Wow, that's what
you missed for the cowboys snummer.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
A lot of drummer. That one had a lot of murder,
I expect.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
I know, I was kind of surprised about you kept
picking crime books that were pretty good.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
It's just what they are. I guess that's just what
it's being sold.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
That's what cowboys are into, maybe.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Cowboys solving crime or doing crime.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Also, most of these for the reviews, people were like,
I got this book for free, and this is my
review of it. Like I've sent this book and here's
my review, and they were all like this is great,
and it's like all the same fucking reviews over and
over again, and I was like, did they send you
the review with the book?
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Like god damn, And yeah, I feel like reviews are
just you know, AI is random. They're not fun anymore.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Also, I forget which one one of these books did
have a second bonus story in it, which was like
almost as long as the first story, which I was like, okay,
And the bonus story was called black Tie Billionaire and
it was like about a billionaire falling in love with
some bitch, and I was like, I don't care about
no billionaires, like.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Not even a taboy. It's in a cowboy book. It
should be cowboys.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
It wasn't a cow Also the funniest part of that book.
So it was like, okay, I'm gonna give you a
very quick not even tell you the plot point, but
it like it opens on this girl and it's like
her family is like billionaires, but she has friends that
are plubs and her best friend is like a plub,
a normal girl, and so like her best friend can't
(44:36):
work this like waitress job at this party, so she
covers for her, and she's wearing like a wig and
like glasses and stuff, so she doesn't look like herself
and she's just supposed to a waitress at this like
mansion party, and then this billionaire notices her and they
like have a moment, and then the power goes out
and she ends up with the billionaire and they end
up fucking in the dark, right, and then the next
(44:57):
day she goes back to her lifestyle and then ends
up like fake dating the billionaire because like the billionaire
hates her brother because the brother broke his sister's heart
or some shit weirdly complicated. She ends up like they
make a deal and they're not supposed to like kiss. Well,
they can kiss, but she's like, we're not gonna bang,
and he's like, okay, but I bang really well and
(45:17):
she's like no. They end up banging, and then he's
like when he's inside of her, he's like, I recognize her,
and he's like, how could I ever forget? And he
realizes who she is, the girl that he banged before,
and then he's like, oh my god, was she in
disguise like trying to get with get back like double
(45:39):
cross him or some shit. I don't know. They end
up together and her brother ends up in jail for
some reason. It's fine, but.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
These books so complicated.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
It's really good drama. Sometimes I'll give him that. Wow,
don't expect it.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Can't wait to see which one Mike he picks out
for you, because apparently he's picking it out this year.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
And I can't wait. Maybe it'll have cops in it again,
that's popular.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
I guess cowboys and cops, you know, they love each other.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Yeah, so if you guys like that, uh, we have
like not that many story times, but quite a few
story times and other episodes you could listen to. You
can listen to the full length cowboy episodes if you
want wherever you listen to podcasts, and while you're there,
give us a little five star review.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
And yeah, and if you want to find out what
how sexy these cowboys are? You can follow us on Instagram,
epical podcast on TikTok and book hold Pod and online
at book hold podtwordpress dot com.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Yeah, so whatever, goodbye bye
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