Episode 13

Creating this podcast means that Luis is sharing his life with the world, and the truth is not everyone is going to believe Luis’s story. In this episode of CRASH Luis talk about what parts of the crime he takes responsibility for and how he deals with people not believing him.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You tell yourself, hey, that'sthat's saying, I'm dealt with this.
That's over, and you walk awayfrom it completely. If you go back,
you already fucked up, even thoughyou didn't do shit. It doesn't
matter. You fucked up by goingback. You should have never gone back.
You're gonna get caught up with someshit. It's gonna happen. It
doesn't matter if you're not involved,doesn't matter you had nothing to do with

(00:22):
it. It doesn't matter you're there. Right, So I accept that responsibility.
I accept that my actions put mein a situation to give me into
this right because if I had anopinion there, I want to be sure.
You know, if I would haveleft Texas, my life would be
a whole time of different life.Man. If I would have left it

(00:44):
the Dominican Republic, my life wouldbe a whole different life. I wouldn't
be in this ship, none ofthis. I hadn't made the choice to
leave it all, to walk awayfrom it. But because I was forced
to go back, right, Imean, who knows there? If I
look at it, I could mean, who knows how many choices I could
have made? Man? But itis what it is. That's that's the

(01:07):
choices that I made. I wentback, I went back to Atlan.
I went back to my dad's house. Mann. No, I don't want
to be man. I got myselfinto this mess. No need for the
kind of hind I got too muchgame online. Who want rule? Then
I'm on side, wrong move,but they're gonna ride. So I just

(01:30):
want to address I just want toaddress the issue for for anybody out there
who's listening, who's following along,or you know who who I scaled across
my story. Um, you knowI got convicted of an attempted murder.
You know I was sentenced to fortyfour years to life. I got nine

(01:53):
years for attempted murder, ten yearsfor gang allegations, and twenty five to
life for personal use of a handgun. And what I'm saying is I'm completely
innocent of all those charges. Idid not commit an attempt to murder,

(02:15):
I did not commit get a crimefor the benefit of a gang, and
I did not personally use a handgun. I never had a hangdun So that
night, you know, I mademistakes, you know, and I hold
up to that. I made alot of mistakes that night. Number One,

(02:35):
I shouldn't even have been there.I should just stay home and ain't
gone to work the next morning.You know. Number Two, I allowed
Hector into my car when I couldhave should have said get the fuck out
of my car, you know,but I did it. I gave him
a ride. Number three, onceI've seen the police hold over, and

(03:01):
my intentions were to pull over andto not flee, right, but I
can't. You know, actory saysay, let's go, let's go,
and I'm i plannin. I'm thinkingall these other things, like oh shit,
I got I got the alcohol inmy car, I'm under the influence
all this. So I'm just Idon't think, you know, and I

(03:23):
do it, and I fucked up, and I accept that, you know,
but that doesn't mean that I'm guiltyof this creme. I had no
knowledge of this crime. I hadno involvement in this creme. I had
nothing to do with it. Youknow. I simply got caught up in
it. And I'm sure that alot of people who grew up the way

(03:46):
I grew up can understand that,they can understand how easy it is to
get caught up in some shit.It's not difficult at all. So I
just want to make that clear forother people. I'm not trying to tell
you that I'm this innocent angel likethat I'm this perfect guy, that I
had the best life and it wastaken away from me. You know,

(04:10):
I struggled, man, I grewup in some ship and I struggled,
and I was trying to get outof that. I was trying to do
my best. I was trying todo good in life, you know,
and I made a lot of alot of progress. I did a lot
of good things, you know,but they still looked at me as a
game of the you know, theystill looked at me as this Mexican kid

(04:34):
that basically was worth this man,because that's the way they looked at us.
You know, if I was inMexican, if I wasn't labeled a
game member, I wouldn't even behere. You know. It's a poor
in fact that these older races don'tget the same amount of time. Man,
they don't get looked at the sameway. You know. That's why

(04:56):
they passed these laws. Now barelyin twenty twenty twenty one, twenty twenty
two, all these laws are comingup based on all this racial stuff,
you know, because they realize thatthe minorities are the ones who are being
locked up, you know, throwingaway the key, not giving those opportunities.

(05:18):
One, there's another guy who commitsthe same as that crime. He's
not getting nowhere near that much time. He's not getting no enhancements. You
know, think about it. Igot twenty five to life on an enhancement.
You know, the actual crime carriesnine years. So you know,

(05:40):
for all those people that are listening, all I ask is that you make
your own personal decision. Listen tothe listen to everything, man, read
the facts. Make your own choice. Don't just follow Not because I'm telling
you I'm innocent doesn't mean you haveto believe me. And you know I'm
not. I'm not saying that.You know, you have your own opinion
and you can make your own opinion. Don't just follow along or just because

(06:02):
some other persons saying that I'm guiltyand talking down on me, don't believe
it. Make your own choice,you know. That's all I ask.
Oh, That's all I'm trying toclarify, is that you know I'm not
trying to see here and give offthis whole thing that you know I'm this
completely inns and due and oh,man, I made mistakes, you know,

(06:27):
I made a lot of my spacebrown up, and you know,
there's a lot of things that Iregret, and I wish I could turn
back behead of the time, andI wish I could go back, and
I wish I could redo it,but I can, you know. But
I survived. So I survived thatlife. I survived it. You know,
I made it through. You know, I've been in prison for almost
twenty years and I've survived. Isurvived this life. You know, I've

(06:51):
been accused of things my life.I've been on the line, you know,
but I survived, man, becauseof who I am, because of
what I'm about out because all Icarry myself, because people know that I'm
not a liar, that I'm nota granny person. I'm not the type
of person that that does these things. You know, my character speaks for

(07:12):
yourself, you know, so ifyou take the time to get to know
me, you make your own personalopinion about me. And that's all I
ask, man, And I justwant to thank everybody who is supporting you.
I want to thank those people thatare out there, you know,
rooting for me, trying to helpme and trying to get me through this,
trying to you know, see mecome home. You know, it

(07:34):
feels good to know that people outthere thinking about me, pushing for me,
man, because you know, allthese years I've been alone, pushing
for myself, not having no kindof no kind of luck, which is
nothing but doors shutting my face,you know. But in they were game
up. I'm still here, andI know that day's gonna come, and

(07:55):
I know that day's gonna come.I'm gonna get out, and you know,
I'm gonna show everybody that, yeah, that I shouldn't ever been imprisoned
to begin. Well, in themeantime when I'm here, I've tried to
do my best to be, youknow, a good person, not to
get caught up because I'm on alevel I've been on a level four,

(08:18):
one eighty general population yard man.This whole entire time, I've been on
a level four. I just barelycame down to a level three. I
got stuck on the lot four.Because that's what happens. There's so much
chaos going on, so many stabbings, murders, riots, you know,
all kinds of things. You're gonnaget what's called Andrew. Our telephone number

(08:39):
will be monitored and recorded. Youknow, if you were to look at
my record, I would have noviolence. I've never stabbed anybody. I've
never fought with anybody. You know. They got me in a riot,
a couple of riots. But youknow, you have no choice, That's
what it is. Man, You'vegot no choice. You're in a riot.
But my own personal actions, I'vedone my very best to stay out

(09:03):
of trouble, and it's not aneasy thing to do, you know.
And I've never been disciplined. Ifpeople know the prison life, people know
the polities about prison, I've neverbeen in any kind of problems. I've
never been hurt by anybody, noneof these, none of those things.

(09:26):
You know. I've tried to bettermyself every opportunity that I've had to get
education. You know, on alevel four, there's really no programs.
There's really nothing available to you becausethe majority of the people there are doing
life, they're doing long sentences.So CBC doesn't care about you. They
only care about the guys who areabout to get out because that's the money

(09:46):
that they're generating. They're getting moneyfor those programs for these people that are
about to be released. But becauseif you're doing life, they don't care
about you, so they're not offeringyou something. They're at the very bottom
of the list. You can't geta job. It took me like five
or six years just to get myvery first job. You know. It
took me years to get assigned toa vocation, you know, and a

(10:09):
majority of time you're on lockdown,there's no program. So I've built my
best to take advantage of every singleI've built my best to take advantage of
every single opportunity that has come across. You know. If I was able
to go to school, I wentto school. If I was able to
participate in programs, I participated inprograms, pretty much everything that they offered

(10:31):
the art to. You know,well, I've been right here in this
prison in Pleased Valley, and righthere you're pretty much stuck like there's nothing
going on. They had was ona modified program because they have these other
this other group that's called the Bulldogs, and they don't program with us,

(10:52):
so it's basically like a split yard. So they're not giving us everything that
you will get in the prisons,you know, which is trying to limit
it any way. But right hereor to a more limited like they don't
really have nothing. So I've beenright here, and I was barely able
to take a college class while Iwas in the level four I was taking

(11:13):
college. I was in college.I did college for a couple of years.
I as only able to do likeone or two classes a semester.
So I haven't completed my AA,but I'm pretty much almost there. You
know. I don't need too manyclasses to complete my head, so I'm
hoping I'll be able to do thatfrom here. I took two classes here.

(11:33):
They didn't sign me able for thesummer. I'm hoping I'll be able
to sign on for the fall.But yeah, that's all I'm trying to
say. Man, It's just,you know, trying to do my best,
trying to do my best, andI hope to get out. And
when I do get out, youknow, I plan on I plan on

(11:54):
doing good. You know. I'mdone with that life. I've been done
with that life, you know.So I just hope that everything comes out,
you know, and I hope thatthe courts were looking at my case
and because I'm not asking them tojust overturn my case, and then I'm
all I'm asking for them to openmy case. Open it, look at

(12:15):
it and review it. Take alook at this new evidence. You know,
I'm seeing so many cases with lessevidence. If you get o't returned,
you know. But I'm still here, Michael bro with you. Bro.
So today I got setting up inthe record. I figured today I'll

(12:35):
give him like a motivation that's stillcoming from the here. And so he
was letting using enough what's going on. My name is Sean Robert Johnson,
and today I want to encourage whoeverlistens to this for you not to give
up hope, no matter what you'refacing in life. Right now, I'm
telling you this while i'm currently andconcrated with a sixty years senting that I

(12:58):
have over my and even with beingin this dark environment over the last sixteen
and a half years of imprisonment,I still want to give y'all the life
that's within me. But at theend of the day, man, you
know, I'm still alive. I'mstill breathing. You know, I'm still

(13:18):
healthy. I still I'm gonna handme, you know. So it's like
it ain't over right, It ain'tover man. Starty got to keep pushing
I'm gotta keep pushing. I gottakeep pushing because one day it's all going
to come out. Man, it'shall going to come out, and everybody
going to see that. Yes Iam. You know that Yansty dudes did
do me thirty man, and he'scome foy fucking you know it hasn't to

(13:41):
come out, n Old. That'sall that. That's what I gotta hold
on because God uses us in variousways and through various situations to help public
people as well as to bring lowto us named to its kingdom. See,

(14:01):
the thing is that we all aregoing to be some kind of resistance,
setbacks, adversity, obstacles and curveballsthat life is going to throw away
from time to time. That's justthe honest truth in the inevitable part of
life because that we face. ButI want to tell you today to not
let it drain, you know,damning your spirits in any kind of way.

(14:24):
To see, when you go throughhardships and tough times, all it
does is bring out what's already deepwithin you. It will help you build
perseverance, It will help you andstill resiliency. It will help you tap
into that no quit in the kindof spirit and mentality. See, you
can't just throw into talent give upjust because you have some bad breaks and

(14:46):
life. Sometimes you have to lookadversity, the square in the thief and
tell that thing that you will conquerIt don't matter how hard that may be.
It don't matter how long that maytake. See, when it comes
to tough times I faced in mylife, I talked to that thing.
I tell that thing there's no quitin me, not anywhere in my heart,

(15:07):
no matter where I have to start, not anywhere in my soul,
I will accomplish my goal. Sowhen I get out of the game,
was it was my own choice,and it was like I wanted to do
that for myself, to kind oflike shut that door, you know,
like that's it, man, that'sit's done with. And I left,

(15:30):
or I want to riverside with mymom. And from Riverside I went,
like I said, I went toVegas and all that, and I was
working on doing good with the college. Like you know, I was doing
good. Then my mom leaves.My mom leaves to Texas, So I
got no choice but to go backto la you know. But in my
mind, in my mind, I'mlike I'm not gonna be in LA for

(15:54):
too long. I'm just waiting forfor for this project in the Domlicary Republic,
and it shouldn't take too much longer, you know, because from project
to project easily was a couple ofmonths, you know, one from one
project ended. I mean there's projectsgoing on constantly. But the dude that
I worked for, the main guy, you know, it was gonna be

(16:14):
his crew, right, so Iwas gonna go with him. So,
you know, we're just waiting forthis project to open up for this crew,
and it wasn't gonna be that long. You know. I just had
to give my passport, getting tooready, and then as soon as they
say they were going, just go, you know. So in my mind,
I'm now, okay, I'm gonnago to LA and I'm gonna go
to my my dad's pad, andyou know, I'm gonna get a job

(16:37):
in the meantime, and I'm gonnastay away, you know, and just
wait for the job so I couldleave. But you know, going back
to my dad's house, it waseasy to to talk to the guy that
I grew up with, you know. It was easy to say what's up

(16:59):
and go back, like I didn'tgo back to the game. But I'm
in the area and the girls.I knew, these females from those blocks.
This is my area, this iswhere I grew up. This is
the people that I know. Soit's easy for me to go back to
that man too too. When Iwas away from it, I didn't talk

(17:21):
to none of these people like youknow, I didn't go looking for the
none of that I was. Iwas gone. I was out of that
area. I was in the wholeanother area, doing good. But you
come back to the tor to thisarea right when you grew up with where
you know all these people, it'seasy to just start talking to them again,
and and what's up he'd been inthis event. I'm not taking you.

(17:45):
I'm not in the hood being agame member, committing time. I'm
not doing none of that ship.You know. I'm going to work,
doing my work. I'm working prettymuch the whole week, you know,
my time off, I'm going andkicking it with females like trying to have
a good turn. That's what I'mdoing, right. But I still went

(18:08):
down to the hood because these arepeople that know So the couple of turns
of the officers did pull me overand I pulled over and they and they
interviewed me right like, hey,what are they doing out here? You
know what's going on? And nowI'm just dropping somebody off or I'm just
picking somebody up, or it waslike a quick interaction. They would search

(18:29):
me, be doun, my name, whatever, I had nothing, I
was clean, you know. Well, yeah, that's that's why I get
caught up in this because I madethe choice to go ahead and still come
down to the neighborhood and kick itwith these females or whatever. It was

(18:52):
stupid, right, because when youleave something, you don't want to go
back to it. Man, that'sfrom mistake. Now, a lot of
people win know within anything, inanything, man, like you tell yourself,
hey, that's that's it. I'mdone with this, that's over,
and you walk away from it completelybecause you go back, you already fucked
up, even though you didn't doshit. It doesn't matter. You fucked

(19:17):
up by going back. You shouldhave never gone back. You're gonna get
caught up with some shit. It'sgonna happen. It doesn't matter if you're
not involved, doesn't matter you hadnothing to do with it. It doesn't
matter you're there right. So Iaccept that responsibility. I accept that my
actions put me in a situation toget me into this, right, because
if I hadn't have been there,I want to be here. You know,

(19:41):
if I would have left Texas,my life would be a whole time
of different life. Man. IfI would have left it the Dominican Republic,
my life would be a whole differentlife. I wouldn't be in this
ship, none of this. Ihad made the choice to leave it all,
to walk away from it. Butbecause I was forced to go back,

(20:03):
right, I mean, who knowsthat if I look at it,
I could have made. Who knowshow many choices I could have made it,
man, But it is what itis. That's that's the choices that
I made. I went back,I went back to LA I went back
to my dad's house. You know, I got myself into this miss you
know. But I've been in prisonso many years, man, and it's

(20:27):
like, Okay, even if youfeel that I fucked up, even if
you feel that that I made thesewrongs and all this stuff, like,
I've been in prison almost twenty years. Do you really think that somebody should
be in prison for that many yearsfor something that basically, I didn't kill
nobody. Man, I didn't killnobody. I didn't try to kill nobody.

(20:49):
Think I didn't commit these hineous crimes. You know what I'm saying,
Like I fucked up. I madesome mistakes. Yeah, Bush, I
mean I paid. I've paid way, way, way, way more than
what it would be, you know. And it's just it's sad. It's

(21:10):
sad that right now, in thismoment, you know, the way the
system is, these guys that arecommitting these crimes and they're getting released and
they're committing more crimes and they're comingback. Like it's sad, man,
it's sad that that that's what's goingon. But I feel like I feel
like that's what the justice system wants, right. I feel like because they're

(21:33):
they're creating all these new laws,right, they want that ship to blow
up and be like, you knowwhat, we need to go back to
these the ponium laws. We needto go back to being hard on crime.
We need to go back to thiswe gave you. You see what
the liberals did. They freed allthese guys and look at all these chaos
and look at all these crimes.And you know, but the reason is
you're not letting the guys who've beenin prison for years and years. You're

(21:56):
not letting them out. You know, you're letting these young dudes that commit
a crime like today and then theyget out tomorrow like they're not learning shit.
There's no there's no uh, there'sno consequence for their action. Right,
Look, call Andrew a telephone number. They'll be monitored and recorded.

(22:18):
Obviously they're gonna keep doing some stupidshit, right, And it's fucked up.
It's fucked up because it's wrong,and these guys are doing some fucked
up shit or hurting a lot ofpeople. So I understand that that point
of view. You know, peoplewanted to be tough on crime and all
that stuff. I understand that,man. I don't see nothing wrong with

(22:40):
it to a point, right,But you know, they're not letting that.
If they were to let all theseguys out that have been down for
years and years and years, whohave actually made a change in their lives,
who have actually, you know,done something, if they were to
let all these people out, Ithink it would be a lot different,
man. Because Number one structure hasalways been a good thing. They try

(23:04):
to tell you that all structures badand all that you're organized and all this
other shit right about, like aboutlike gangs and all this other stuff,
frank, but putting that to theside. If you got somebody out there
who's telling these junctures, don't fuckingdo that, you know, putting them
like putting some sense into their heads, you know what I mean, They're

(23:27):
not gonna do these stupid things thatthey're doing. They're not gonna be committing
all these kinds, you know,because there's people out there who are who
are trying to put something in theirhead. Right. But now it's like
it's it's just there's nothing man likelike, there's no there's no type of
respect, there's no type of moralthere's no It's it's crazy because you know,

(23:48):
I've been in prison all this timeand I see these people coming in
and I see how they act,and I see their mentality that I see
all these things, and it's justsad. Man's sad that it's so fucked
up there. They're fucking it upfor the people that actually the er the
man don't you have I don't wantto be man. I just want to

(24:11):
people who actually have shoulder. Iknow too much online won't rule the nimals
like wrong move, I bet they'regonna ride no