April 15, 2025 • 40 mins
Watch us on Youtube! https://youtu.be/346Q50GHt3w
How do you handle conflict with your wife? What do you do if you're already in conflict? What does the Bible say about your role as a peacemaker? The guys share their insights and experiences. The guys make a surprising discovery about Brad.
#joerogan #podcast #mensministry #christianliving #biblestudy #cussing #charliekirk #joerogan #jasonwhitlock #fearless #menshealth #christianliving #vincevaughn #timtebow #christianmotivation #churchmemes #mensministry #promiskeepers #timtebow #patrickbetdavid
How do you handle conflict with your wife? What do you do if you're already in conflict? What does the Bible say about your role as a peacemaker? The guys share their insights and experiences. The guys make a surprising discovery about Brad.
#joerogan #podcast #mensministry #christianliving #biblestudy #cussing #charliekirk #joerogan #jasonwhitlock #fearless #menshealth #christianliving #vincevaughn #timtebow #christianmotivation #churchmemes #mensministry #promiskeepers #timtebow #patrickbetdavid
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Yo, what are you doing right now?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We are going to get real about men's issues, who
Jesus is and who we are as men in Christ.
We're gonna hear Trey, Jeremy, Michael and Brad break it down.
These guys call themselves the cousin Christians. All right, guys,
what is going on?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
I gotta check out my dad.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I got dad on Life three sixty so I can
track him anywhere.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Find my parents' app.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah, and he is. He's kind of.
Speaker 5 (00:34):
Day. The vet will do it for like fifty bucks.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
So well, we we had this long chat on Tuesday.
You know, we play golf every Tuesday and have breakfast.
And he's just starting to forget things. So he'll be
eighty four this summer, and he's starting to forget things
so much, and he in his short term memories really slacken.
And we installed this app on the phone so I
(01:00):
can anytime see where he is if he's driving. And
he just sent me a text, Okay, I'm heading north.
Now I'm going Dad, I've got the app. You don't
need to tell me that you're heading north. So now
I'm watching my dad. He's working his way through He
went over the causeway. He's about to hit I ninety five.
He's d up to New Smyrna for a wedding. All right,
(01:20):
But being a parent to your parent, we need to
have a whole we need to have a whole thing
on that sometime.
Speaker 6 (01:28):
There's actually a term for it. It's like the Oreo generation,
where you're taking care of your parents, but then you
also have kids in the house that are you know,
So you're you're the Oreo.
Speaker 7 (01:37):
You're you are at the Oreo.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I'm an Oreo guy, extra stuffing.
Speaker 7 (01:42):
Wow, you're an Oreo.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I don't have any kids at the house.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
Oh that's true.
Speaker 8 (01:46):
Yeah, So, Jeremy, you did it for a little bit.
And your grandmother living with you, of coour she passed it.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, you've been there.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
You know.
Speaker 6 (01:54):
My grandmother COPD and it was like stage four. She
used to be and then she quit for years, and
then all of a sudden, like when she moved back
to Florida, she started smoking again, and like so she
moved in with us, and she was smoking, and finally
she had like an episode where we had to take
her to the hospital, like almost didn't make it type thing.
And so he came back and We're like, listen, you
haven't smoked for three or four days, Like it's done, right,
(02:17):
Like we're not no more smoking, right. So she we
went into publics and she walks right up to the
smoke to buy cigarettes. And I walked over and I
was like, what are you doing? And she was like
and they're like literally holding the cigarettes. Get right ham
to her said no, she's not allowed to have those.
I was like, if you want to live in my house,
you will not buy those cigarettes. I was like, that's
(02:40):
the rules, you know the rules. I'm like nice, and
then I walk out and like, of course the people
at publics hear me say this, and I'm not being
like nice about it, and I'm like, man, I just
look like the total asshole right now. Yeah, you know,
but like it needed to be done. She was having
I mean, her auction levels were so low that she
was passing out. And also by the you have oxygen
(03:00):
on you can't smoke with oxygen, like you'll blow my
house up. Like so, my mom used to tell the
story she took me to the doctors one time and
I was being bad and she told me, if you
don't behave in with three in the trash like that
was the It was just a joke, right And the
nurse was like, man, that's not funny. And my mom
like she goes, okay, and she goes there are people
(03:22):
out there that do that.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
This is in the eighties, right, like, so it's not today.
Speaker 7 (03:31):
Karen's on every corner.
Speaker 6 (03:32):
Oh yeah, doctor Tulan's office. That was his name, Tulan.
I'm tooling around, not tooling. I'm liking your new hair,
bro thanks man, I need to go.
Speaker 7 (03:44):
I like the long look on you. I liked it
on you.
Speaker 8 (03:46):
I don't know it was it wasn't it wasn't working.
The hairline didn't support it, you know, the hair is
standing out. So I got it all chopped again. But
those guys that they go on college campuses and they
debate the students, and Matt Walsh has the what is
a woman? And Charlie Kirk Charlie Kirk, you know, and
Stephen Crowded has to change my mind. I want to
set one of those up. But do what is a mullet?
(04:07):
See what the kids say? Because I experienced, you know,
the beginning of the mullet, like late eighties, eighties, early
nineties small town in Oklahoma, and I saw some dude
with a buzz cut and then just a sheet of
hair behind, like shoulder length, no no blending, no transition.
It was the you know, the always called it business
in the front, party of the back, and and that
(04:27):
was I was like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
But over the years, but over the years, kids think
that anything that's long hair, anything like my hair was
kind of long all over and it was almost shoulder link.
They would call that a mullet. And I'm like, no, no, no, no,
that's that's not what it was. If you saw what
the original mullet was, like this redneck copy, that's a
(04:50):
good mullet. Yeah, But kids these days don't know what
it is. They are like, oh, I got a mullet
and it's just shoulder link there, and like.
Speaker 7 (04:55):
No, you don't know.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
And by the way, they weren't cool then they're not
cooling right they were back.
Speaker 9 (05:01):
I've seen them then, the the amish cuts. Have you
seen those kids are wearing noses They look like mo
from three steps.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Just the bowl over the top and they my mommy's
to cut my hair.
Speaker 9 (05:13):
When I was a kid, I had a g I cut, bro,
it was child.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
I had those bangs that went right to my eyebrows.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Lots of exciting stuff. Oh my gosh, cool haircut.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Yeah, I was thinking of the Grease song Beauty school dropout.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
No vacation, no beauty, no graduation day for you.
Speaker 9 (05:34):
But whole movie was portrayed. It was supposed to be
it was all a dream Grease.
Speaker 7 (05:42):
They say it was a dream makes sense, but actually.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Wait, I got I got to back up a little
bit because Greece was a Broadway production before the movie.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
No, I think it was after. Greece was before the Broadway.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
This doesn't change anything for me. I've never seen it.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Really, you've never seen it.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
You've never seen I heard.
Speaker 8 (06:00):
These songs like in the seventies, and I'm like, this
stuff I've ever heard, and that'll probably get cut.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
But it was I'm like, hey, stupid, I got to say.
Speaker 6 (06:10):
There's certain scenarios where that's just the perfect way to
say it, like it is what it is.
Speaker 8 (06:14):
I was listening with Band and the Police and Van
Halen back then, and then they're just what.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I'm like, am I listening to this?
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Brads to this?
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
But no, but hey, I watched Grease like a month ago.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Hey, can you.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Tell me something? Okay, you're talking that you just said that.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
But that key scene when Olivia Newton John came out
in that last minute, I fell in love many. I
was thirteen, I think maybe fourteen, and I went back
saw that movie like five times at the theater.
Speaker 6 (06:49):
I will say, I mean, that's probably the moment I
realized that I did like women.
Speaker 7 (06:52):
Yes, yeah, really, mine was a fair Foster post Oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
I had that on my wall right next to my
my membership certificate to First Methodist Church of mid Sex's.
Speaker 8 (07:03):
We weren't allowed to have those kind of posters, so
I'd go over to my friend's house. Yeah, there are
always like three guys in the neighborhood that had that
same poster.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
So I just go over there. Hey Scott, Hey, Scott,
what are you doing today?
Speaker 7 (07:13):
Hang out?
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yeah, I'm come over your house?
Speaker 7 (07:15):
Man.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Hey, can we have a sleep over here your house? Yeah?
All right?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
All of us married, yep, We've been talking about doing
this while and the yet but I'm still married. Right,
Arguments with our wives, marriages? How do you handle all that? Especially? Yeah,
you've been married forever. You've been married semi forever. I'm
(07:43):
coming on ten years, you're at eleven years. Eleven years.
Speaker 8 (07:46):
I was, you know, thirty five years, coming up on
thirty six. And I always say, it's been the best
thirty years of my life. We have five or six
that were not great, right, And you know, we always
talk about I'm playing checker, but she's playing chess, like
if we get an argument, and I'm thinking, if I
say this, I'll get this reaction. She's already gone like
four levels deeper, and she's like, well, this reveals, you know,
(08:09):
because you said this, This shows how you really feel
about this.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
And I'm like, whoa, what what just happened?
Speaker 8 (08:14):
She just yeah, I think I'm de escalating the situation
by saying something that I think is going to be
like innocuous. And then she's like she's already gone four
levels deeper and it's skipped ahead.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
And she's like, oh, now I know this because you
said that.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
I'm like, oh crap, huh does she beat you an argument?
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (08:29):
Yeah, yeah, she's way smarter than me. And that's the
whole scripture. Don't let the sun go down on your anger.
I've done that because I'm stubborn sometimes and I'm like.
Speaker 7 (08:38):
But I'm not talking to you. I don't give it.
Son can go down. I don't give a crap.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
You know.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
I know it's scriptural, but.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
It is scriptural. But there's also something with discernment, like
I'm not gonna get into an argument and a major debate,
and not not just an argument, but like talk about
anything of substance when I'm going to bed. Oh yeah,
because there's no good comes back. And if you know so,
I'm gonna I'm gonna say I love you. We're gonna
pick this up another time when we're both we both
(09:07):
have our senses about us a little more. It hasn't
been a long day, the stresses of the day hasn't
brought us down. Nothing good will happen if you and
I continue this conversation.
Speaker 6 (09:17):
Now, because usually I'm like sitting on the couch, letting
the day like go by, the kids have gone to sleep.
I may or may not have a cocktail, kind of
like just total decompression mode, right, And I need a
good hour on the couch for I go to sleep.
It doesn't matter if I get home at one in
the morning or six at night. I need one hour
on the couch. And she's been sitting there thinking about
(09:37):
it since dinner. What she wants to have to say
to me, you know what I mean? So me being
like Brad, I'm not that deep, so I haven't thought
about it at all. Or she's coming in with the
rolodex of information. You're hoping it just won't come up
till later. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it, like,
I know there's something there, but hopefully she won't be.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I know it's something there, and I dang sure don't
want to ask what it is.
Speaker 9 (09:59):
That's why we can sleep at night. Yeah, they can't.
They're up all night thinking about it.
Speaker 7 (10:03):
Not me.
Speaker 9 (10:04):
I'm I'm sleeping. And that's the other thing. Don't let
the sun go down in your anger. Winter time would
suck because that's five o'clock man, and then summer you
got more time.
Speaker 8 (10:14):
Yeah, sometimes it's like dealing with a black bear versus
a grizzly. You know, like a black bear you're supposed
to stand up, make yourself look bigger and be loud.
Grizzly you just roll over and play dead. I think
most of the time I'm already with a grizzly. I'm
just like just curl up and protect my head and neck.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
That's a great analogy.
Speaker 9 (10:33):
Man.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
Oh just talking.
Speaker 9 (10:35):
About that in a constantly setting.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
You know, I performed a wedding two months ago, and.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Oh the scripture you couldn't talk about.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
When you're doing the weddings.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
You always want to go there to the roles of
the husband and wife, right yep. And Ephesians it's wives,
you know, submit to your husband's and a lot that
submit word gets sorry, that submit word is is a.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Big point in our worldly view.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Submit means something different than what the biblical definition of
submit is. The wives, you know, the wife to be
in most of the time, her mom going ho ho,
wait a minute, let's back.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Up on that.
Speaker 7 (11:20):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
And of course when I'm going through it and her
fiance is sitting next to me, the dude, and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, submit,
And then I go hold on, cowboy. She had three
verses about submitting to you, and so we all know
that submitting means to serve to lift up all these
things that Jesus did for his church. And speaking of
(11:44):
she had three verses, dude, you got six and it
starts with love your wives as Christ, love the church. Right,
are you ready? Because what does that mean? And it's
probably even deeper than that. He's his his the dying
for the church, the sacrifice of the church is the ultimate.
(12:04):
But just in the day to day life of washing
feet of you know, going and serving the poor, and
going and serving the sinners, and those are tough things
your mind around and you know what, your wife, that's
your responsibility, and it sure does make.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
It tough when the spats of life come up.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
To love your wife as Christ love the Church, or
at least get distracted from that because nine times out
of ten, your arguments that you have with you, what's
the biggest thing you'll fight about.
Speaker 7 (12:36):
Most people fight about money.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
Money.
Speaker 6 (12:40):
Yeah, money, I mean yeah, I mean, but more than that,
it's like the kids usually, I mean, that's that's our
biggest arguments. Typically, or I do something stupid, I gotta
come and like I'm like, I'm a big kid. I
mean honestly, like go out and do something stupid. She's like,
really come on, like but she's like, you're like being
an asshole, and I got it coming.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
I Mean, that's that's the truth. I that's that's.
Speaker 9 (13:03):
The greatest difference between a man and a warm woman
and that's the meaning of what an ass because.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
It's true, it's Friday.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
You're gonna have fun with We're having a Friday and
we're having a full video session after this too.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
So so whether it's the submission side or the love
your wife like Christ love the church, it's sacrificial either way.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
It's serving on It's a street, correct.
Speaker 8 (13:27):
So it's it's not like, okay, we if you just
submit and I'm gonna sit on the I'm gonna sit
on the couch and drink my beer or whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
It sounds pretty good, but no, right.
Speaker 8 (13:36):
Right, So it's it's a two way street. It's sacrificial.
You know, both directions well, and when the marriage is
going well, it's it is a two way street. What
I find is when you know, either I'm upset with
her so I give up the one side of the
street and I start to doing my own thing, or
she kind of does the same thing and we're not
going in the same direction anymore. Right, Like it's that's
that's when the problems start, right now.
Speaker 7 (13:58):
Do you date your wife?
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Not enough?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
You got to that, and that that's what was the
next question was going there.
Speaker 6 (14:04):
And that's what I mean with the kids, and I mean,
I know you get in but I mean especially their age.
Like you know, we went away last weekend for flag
football tournament with the kids, with the kids, so like,
like for her birthday, I intentionally took her, you know,
away just the two of us, but like maybe once
every three to six months, we get out just to us.
Speaker 7 (14:21):
Once a week.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
And you said it before, when you get into an
argument with your wife, you know, you have to set
the bar. I need to sacrifice my right to be right. Yes,
and that's too with the competitiveness.
Speaker 9 (14:34):
Then Michelle's athlete to so you oh man, well.
Speaker 6 (14:39):
That's what I got in my house. I mean, she's
a highly competitive gymnast obviously, I mean so like, I mean,
she works a lot harder than I do.
Speaker 8 (14:48):
So well, and it's tough too when your wife is
right more than you are. I find that a lot.
I go into an argument thinking, well, I've got a
really good case here, and I present my case and
then she's already four step ahead of me. Not only
do I not see it, but then when I think
about it, I'm like, dang, she's right.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
That hurts.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Do you make eventually?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Maybe the next day, after the sun goes down.
Speaker 8 (15:14):
That's that's where I'm trying to get better at it,
because I can't fake it, Like I can't lie to myself.
And if she points something out and I'm like, that's
not true, but it'll seep in later, maybe maybe an
ho or two later, I go, oh, she's right, and
then I'll come back. But I can't in the moment.
Most of the time, I'm not like, well, you're right.
It's it's I have to believe it too.
Speaker 7 (15:33):
They got memories, man, Well.
Speaker 6 (15:35):
That's what my wife gets me on. She'll pull something
out of the rolldecks from like two thousand and three
and I'm like.
Speaker 9 (15:40):
At nine fifty two in the morning on a Saturday
while we were it's.
Speaker 6 (15:44):
Like, yeah, again, back to the simple piece, you know,
and to your point, like, she is right a lot,
Like I can't even say she's not, but I think
a lot of it is. I just don't care. Like
so it's like that's a problem, Like no, I don't,
And I mean that in the most loving way, right.
It's like the stuff that matters to them doesn't matter
to us, you know what I mean. The other thing
that we I end up doing, at least is in
(16:06):
a form to protect her. I like leave stuff out,
so I just like handle stuff, you know what.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
I mean, Hey, keep going because I've got that too.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Because I'll just handle it and like, I'll just do
it and whatever.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
I think twice about it, and then all of a sudden,
something will come up and she's like, well, why didn't
I know about that? You didn't keep me in the
loop about that, like now, and now I feel betrayed.
I feel all these feelings and I'm.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
Like, oh, dude, I'm like, well.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
I just knew you'd just caused stress in your life,
so I figured I just handle it and i'd stress
about it. But I don't need you stressing because, by
the way, that doesn't help anything, Like right, you know,
just a whole is a protector thing. It's not a'm
not doing anything. I'm trying to hurt anything. And then
if you especially if you make a bad decision, and
then that's a whole other right, yeah, you know what
I mean, why you can tell me you really messed
(16:50):
up this time?
Speaker 4 (16:50):
It's like, well, I mean it's just like ministry stuff
or job stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
You know, you make decisions on the fly.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
I mean I'm getting I'm getting a hundred is the
calls and texts today and all that. And I'll just
I'll you know, something happened a couple right at the
turn of the year and I made a decision on
something and I just shut it down and kept going.
Didn't even think about who it would affect, it affected
her or anything like that. And then about two weeks
(17:18):
ago it just kind of came back in conversation and
why did you do that?
Speaker 3 (17:23):
And I'm like, I didn't even think about it.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Yeah, I mean, it just and that's just this absent mindedness.
And you know, they want to be included and feel
worth than us going to them and including them and things.
But there's some instances where a guy, I just I
compartmentalized so much stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I go, Okay, that's.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Done, checked, gone, push it away. I'm not even going
to go go to that vault ever again. It's just
locked away and I'm done.
Speaker 8 (17:49):
I mean, is it realistic to say think like a
woman like, do we need to think, well, how would
she feel about it?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I don't know that we can. I mean, sometimes you can.
Speaker 7 (17:58):
You want me to start crying.
Speaker 8 (18:00):
But I guess we just have to be we have
to be prepared right, because we're taking care of stuff,
we're doing things the way we do them because we're
different than women. And then when she comes in and says, oh, well,
you need to do it differently, or I wish you
would have told me or whatever, I think we just
need to be prepared to be like, okay, like.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
My baggage, let's go next, you're right, or whatever.
Speaker 8 (18:19):
And vice versa because we are different, so there's always
going to be that possibility of oh, well, you you know,
you did this a different way than I would have
done it, and I wish you would have done this,
And for us just to be able to, I guess,
give each other grace and be able to say, Okay,
I didn't mean it that way, but you're right.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
I'll do it differently.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Next time, exactly exactly. And that's tough, and I sometimes
my pride will say, well, screw that, I don't have
to do that. And then most of the time after praying,
because when she's mad at me, it rips me up inside.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
I feel uncomfortable, I feel nothing's in balance. But sometimes
it takes me twenty four hours to go all right.
I've been thinking about what that went went down, and
I can see your point or you know, however however
that works out.
Speaker 7 (19:06):
But Donald's got She's an Italian jew.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Bro, She's half Italian, half Jew makes.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Enough.
Speaker 8 (19:15):
My wife's half half Italian half German. There's some some
intensity and some.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Passion intensity, passion there.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
What I'm hearing of this conversation is it doesn't matter
what they are.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Listening to us right now, around around the bar or
wherever you are.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Here's to you, brother, That's right, because marriage is hard,
marriage is tough. Let me ask you this.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
All right, you've been married thirty five, you're eleven, I'm ten,
you're four.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
That'll helps, do you say?
Speaker 4 (19:47):
And this is a friend of ours that we all
know and and I love how he phrases things, and
he makes me think a lot, and he is a
great proponent of the great message. But he always when
he talks about his wife, he goes, I always want her.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
To think I'm pursuing her.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Yeah, whether it's a little love note in the morning
or a little calder in the day. I was driving,
this reminded me of you. Or Hey, I'm thinking about
where I'm you know where I'm gonna take you for
dinner tonight. Do we still do you still thirty some years?
Do you still pursue your wife?
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Not as much as I should? I mean, in my
mind I do.
Speaker 8 (20:28):
And again it's where I think I'm doing a good job,
but it may not meet what.
Speaker 9 (20:33):
She needs for me, because and I love the book
and I go to it all the time. Gary Chapman's
the Five Love Languages. You've got to know, man, You've
got to know what your wife's love language is. Yeah,
and when you feed that and she knows yours, there's
a lot of balance there.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Yeah, yeah, I I you know, when you first start
dating and you know it's hot and heavy and you
can't think keep her out of your mind.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
You're sending her text, you're sending her notes. Flower is
all that ten years of that that kind of starts.
I don't pursue like that.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Sure, And it's like, you know, man, if you could
make it, make a pill that you could take, like
when you first are falling in love with somebody, you
just take that pill the rest of your life, just
to feel that way all the time and pursue. Sometimes
life just happens in that person.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
The business of life is part of my thing.
Speaker 6 (21:24):
I mean it's not and it's both of us, right,
I mean, and you end up being ships passing in
the dark. Sometimes I got a dater once a week. Yeah,
I hear you, But I mean you're not gone, like
and it's.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
A year, three days a week out anyway.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
It's no excuses.
Speaker 6 (21:38):
But hell, it's true, right, I mean, it's like, I mean,
we can say do it, but like the practice of
it is harder than I mean I'm going. I mean,
this is my scenario, but Brad has his own.
Speaker 5 (21:50):
You have your own.
Speaker 6 (21:50):
You're out working, you're doing your thing, and then you
get home and then next thing, you know, like the
kids are there, the dog whatever, and like next thing,
you know, it's nine o'clock. She's been up since four,
you know, so she's going to bed at nine, nine
thirty and like here I am, you know, and it's
just you miss each.
Speaker 7 (22:04):
Other, couch wind it down.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Yeah, And it's not.
Speaker 6 (22:07):
A And that's where I think a lot of our
issues come in sometimes, is just simply like we just
don't talk right, and it's like, you know, it's not
a unintentional on either side. It's just like you wake
up and I've seen it's been like two weeks since
you've had a real conversation.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 9 (22:21):
I saw a billboard once it said, make sure the
things that you are striving for are worth diving, dying for.
Speaker 7 (22:30):
And it's like with me.
Speaker 9 (22:34):
When I was first married, I had I was doing
three things, I had three jobs, and it got to
the point it was like, why am I doing this
what you know for more? For one reason, it was survival,
you know. But I can't imagine in this day and
age what couples are going through, especially financially with housing
(22:58):
and cars and expenses, and you know.
Speaker 7 (23:03):
I just it is so tough.
Speaker 9 (23:04):
And I think Satanist is really destroying the family because
of that, and that's his number one goal to rob, steal,
and destroy. And as couples, we are we are the
most powerful union in any in any army, because we're
(23:25):
two or more gathered in my name there, I am
in their midst the power of two. And when you've
got that power of two with your wife and it's strong,
nothing's gonna come at you that you can't handle or
can't push back.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
Oh yeah, And I think it's important to do to
remember that, like just like life, your marriages goes through
seasons too, right, Like it's not always pretty. I mean
you were saying best thirty out of thirty five years
of your life, right, I mean it's true. So like
you know, I think sometimes today, you know, Satan gets
in there and he's like, hey, you guys aren't happy now,
you should just leave, just leave, you know, and we.
Speaker 7 (24:00):
Could look at this over here, yeah.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
And it's like and that's when it's like even more
important to be like, I'm not like, this is when
we stick together. This is when you know it's not
good right now, but there was a good time there
and it'll come back if we can just work through
this whole thing, right.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
I think that's why it's why it's so important if
you and your wife both have a relationship with the
Lord and you have that grounding of the word, because
I tell you that's what got us through when you know,
early in our marriage and we were going through a
really rough time and we were separated for a bit,
it was like because she had a fear of the
Lord and a and a foundation in him and I
did too, that we were able to come back together.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
And I mean that saved our marriage.
Speaker 8 (24:37):
If we didn't have that, if it was based on
feelings or whatever experiences we had early on.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
There's no way we would have made it right.
Speaker 8 (24:44):
Right, So both of us, you know, pursuing the Lord individually,
but then coming together. I mean, like you said, Michael,
that's the strongest thing there is.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Do we truly appreciate the Lord's words were to become one?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Do we truly appreciate the power of that?
Speaker 4 (25:02):
And then you take it to you know, Solomon's writing
of the Yeah, but you take it to his writing
of the quarter three strands with you know, the with
the Father being the center point, with the other two
becoming one together, And do we really consider that? You said,
you both know that you're grounded. You went through a
(25:23):
rough spot, and it was through that you were able
to reconcile and come back together and probably be.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
A little bit stronger as a result of it.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
And that's the whole thing of these It's one thing
to be an argument, but you go through these seasons
of I just I don't wanna be around here right now,
I'm gonna go take a walk, or I'm you know,
and that's where that's where Satan starts playing with you.
An't necessarily the argument it's how you react in the
argument or as a result, you know, in the in
(25:51):
the day or so after. Not let Donn and I
fight all the time. We you know, we we don't
because I do like you do, and I curl up
like the Grizzly bear and do that soon.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
But shut up.
Speaker 6 (26:05):
But the biggest mistakes I make is that because I
am gone all the time and she's and she has
spoiled me.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
That's part of my problem.
Speaker 6 (26:14):
Is it before I went from having a mom to
having a wife or a girlfriend for a very long
time that took care of everything for me, to then
having career, going off whatever. But then she just handles
everything at home. So like when I get home on
the weekends, it's Disneyland, right, And so she calls me
that all the time. She's like, you're a Disneyland dad,
and she's saying it in the most caring way. But
(26:35):
she's not lying either, because I'm just there for the weekend,
you know, and it's I'm there for more than the weekends.
But my point is is that I don't think about
anything because I've not been forced to think about it.
And now she's starting on her career as a real
estate agent. You know, we've got two kids that are
now making her run them all over the place, right because,
and I'm not there. So then I get home, I'm
not helping with any of the problems. I'm part of
(26:56):
the problem now, you know. And she's like, if you could,
you know, just empty the dishwasher, it would help me
out a ton. And I'm like, I just was still
on the couch and decompressed. It just worked all day.
And she's like, what do you think I didn't work
all day. I'm like, yeah, yeah, And then I feel
like such an ass, you know.
Speaker 9 (27:11):
But you know, I'll do anything in the house. I'll
my head, I don't mind my head. And a toilet, cleaning, toilets,
any of that, I don't mind. She won't let me
do laundry anymore anyway, so I can't do laundry. But
I hate dishes, bro I hate it with a passion.
Speaker 7 (27:28):
I get this sense of not just itck, but dread.
Speaker 9 (27:36):
And there's a whole story behind that, but anyway, I'm
not going to go into it. And I and there's
times when I'll come home and she's run the dishwasher
and the doors open and the drawers are out like, uh,
she's priming.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Empty the dishwak drawers are open. That should be a
signal for you to unload the dishwasher.
Speaker 7 (28:00):
But I'll do toilets all day long. I don't have
problem with that.
Speaker 8 (28:03):
Yeah, there's certain things that like you, like I said,
I don't mind doing. But then there's things I don't
want to do, like dealing with the sprinklers or dealing
with certain things outside. And she'll be reminding me of it,
usually right before we go to sleep. She'll be like, oh, yeah,
the sprinkler, the sprinkler's not hitting the tree. I'm like, okay, whatever.
I'll fall asleep, and two weeks later she'll bring it
up again. I'm like, and I don't want to deal
with it. And that's where we get into a lot
of conflict.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Donald wants it done. So what rolls ten minutes ago?
Speaker 9 (28:27):
Yeah, how do you as husband and wife maneuver what roles,
especially when two people are working, What roles is this
the wife and the husband's supposed to do?
Speaker 6 (28:36):
I mean, so, we were very gender role specific at
our house for the longest time, and she wanted it
that way. It wasn't that I made it that way.
But then she reminded me the other day. She goes,
you just outsourced all your stuff to the lawn guy.
So I'm like, you're not off the hook. That's not
not fair cleaning my sprinkler heads, Like, I mean, I
(28:57):
don't do anything out there, Like I got a guy
that puts the stuff down.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
I got edges, a.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Little backfill and responsibility fill it in.
Speaker 6 (29:05):
It's perfect because I made the joke of, well, you
told me I just have the outside of the house.
You got the inside. She goes, yeah, but you outsourced
the whole thing, Like that's not wrong.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
It's like we're getting smarter.
Speaker 6 (29:17):
Yeah, I mean I think that stuff's out the window now.
I mean I I don't do a good job of it.
So if she hears this or anybody hears that, I'm
figuring it out, you know, But I mean I should
do more.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
I mean, we definitely have a team mentality around our house.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
You guys, you have to.
Speaker 8 (29:32):
And there are times like I'll get up, I get
up early in the morning and if if the kitchen's
a mess, and it's usually not, but if it is,
because like sometimes we'll go to bed at ten o'clock
and the kitchens clean, we'll come back down. I'll come
back down five six hours later, and there's dishes in
this sink like the kids have been up. The kids
have been cooking food in the middle of the night.
But my my thought is, I don't want her to
come down here and have to think about doing dishes
right first, thing, like, I want her to come down
(29:54):
peaceful kitchen, you know, get her coffee. Yeah, so I'll
clean the kitchen like ill way better. I'll make sure
it's spotless for she comes down. But but then again,
if there's a sprinkler that's hitting the road, I'll wait
for weeks before I address it because I just you don't.
I don't want to do it, especially not in the
middle of the day. I'm always like, I'll do it
after dinner at dusk.
Speaker 7 (30:10):
When it's no that's smart, get lit up.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
Yeah, let me ask you this just I'm going to
give you my honest answer, And my honest answer is
not near enough. So that's my answer. How often do
you look her in the eye, hold her hands and
pray with her?
Speaker 5 (30:32):
We don't pray together very often.
Speaker 9 (30:34):
I pray with her when she goes to bed. I
let my hands on it. She doesn't know this, but
I pray when she's Yeah.
Speaker 7 (30:40):
That's awesome.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
But I mean, and I'm not talking about like when
you're fighting and you pray just to get past it.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
I mean that that suns.
Speaker 4 (30:48):
Or you're going to well, not don fighting, but going
through going through a trauma or something that's going on. Yeah, okay, Yeah,
And maybe the argument is part of it where you say,
you know what, I don't know what the answer is.
You probably right hands and let's pray about it. Let's
just pray that I'm right this time, not you. But
how much do we pray with our wife.
Speaker 8 (31:09):
We've been doing it a lot more lately, but you know,
for whatever, we had like a fifteen year span where
things were cruising along pretty smoothly, and I don't remember
praying with her much then because things were pretty good.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I always pray for her, like I pray for her
every day.
Speaker 8 (31:23):
But yeah, just taking the time because like you said,
you get home and and it's like off to the races,
doing dinner, getting the kids to bed, all that. It's
like you have a very small window of time where
you could actually do.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
That with your wife.
Speaker 8 (31:36):
So it's it's tough, but I think out of necessity,
we've been doing it together more frequently.
Speaker 7 (31:41):
Two are more gathered in my name. There, I am in.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Your powerful for sure.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
You actually pray over your wife every night. That's that's,
That's all she's.
Speaker 7 (31:50):
Going to hear that I've never told her that I
just do it.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Oh yeah, that's that's a great, great thing.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
Ten hours for well, well, that's that's actually one reason
I mean we we don't. We don't do it very
if at all. And that's part of it is that
we're just on two different schedules. Like I mean, she
gets up at four or five. I get up at seven,
you know, sometimes eight. Like let's be honest, like I mean,
it just depends on what I got to do that day.
I got I got it.
Speaker 7 (32:18):
I'm mowing.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
You're not mowing.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
I got an outsourced I just got to think that
I if I made more deliberate prayer time with my wife,
not me by myself, but with her doing praying, that
would probably ease to you know, smooth down the edges
on so many things that pop up in our lives.
Speaker 7 (32:38):
I totally agree.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
And so I'm saying that now with some revelation of Okay, try.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
And pursue her through.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
Well, let me ask you, if you're praying with your wife, though,
am I going to be as truthful and honest in
the prayer?
Speaker 5 (32:54):
Right?
Speaker 6 (32:54):
Like you have to make sure that if you're going
to do that, then you've got to be ready to
be honest with God obviously, but like meaning what yeah, yeah,
It's like what I'm going with this is like, all right, well,
you're going through this time whatever that is, And like,
as the protector, you're not always saying everything right, and
so you're keeping that in the back of your mind.
You're like, hey, you know, I'm not saying this out loud,
but when I pray to God, I talk about it.
So it's like, if I'm sitting there holding hands with
(33:16):
my wife praying, are you ready to And I'm not
saying it's a bad thing. I'm saying it's a good thing.
You should do this, but like, is it going to
force you now to be that open and honest and
kind of give up some of that? It's like, hey, God,
you do know I have this fear about what's going
to happen next month. I just don't understand.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
Oh, will that triggers some more anxiety or whatever, But
I got it. It's going to be like medication in
a great way that he's actually coming to me with this. Now,
it's not like.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Pray that she'll calm down at the end of the.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
Yeah, and I pray that she'll be.
Speaker 6 (33:49):
Really when I opened my eyes, can she please not
be standing there with a knife. It's like, you know again,
the protector in me is I don't want her to
know that I'm worried.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
About something like you're hiding anything, You just you just
want to.
Speaker 6 (34:02):
Yeah, I'm just sitting here thinking like back a year
ago when I really truly didn't know my next paycheck
was going to come, you know what.
Speaker 5 (34:08):
I want to pray about that right openly open yeah,
or with her.
Speaker 6 (34:14):
I wasn't even telling I didn't tell you guys that stuff,
you know, I mean, I'm not telling anybody.
Speaker 9 (34:17):
Don't Don't our wives want us to be more vulnerable?
And do we have the ability to do?
Speaker 5 (34:23):
They to? Oh?
Speaker 7 (34:24):
I think so, I really do what do we have
the ability to be vulnerable?
Speaker 6 (34:29):
I think my truthfully answer to that. I think everybody
says they want that at some point. Maybe this is
the man issue too, But when you actually give it,
do they really want it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
It probably depends on what it is.
Speaker 5 (34:42):
You know.
Speaker 8 (34:42):
It's like maybe you can be vulnerable about certain things
that they will feel like, Oh, that's like he really
opened up to me. But like you said, maybe do
you want to be vulnerable about how you're fearing about
whether or not your kids are going to be able
to eat next week?
Speaker 1 (34:53):
I mean, you don't have money.
Speaker 9 (34:54):
But if I started crying once a week every month,
I don't think she would appreciate.
Speaker 6 (35:00):
I don't know that my wife's ever seen me cry. Really,
I'm dead serious.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
What have you done seen me cry?
Speaker 1 (35:07):
It's coming. Wait till you get your fifties.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (35:09):
I like, even when my parents passed away, Like I
didn't cry in front of anybody, And I don't even
know that cried when dad. I didn't cry when Dad died.
I didn't cry one time. I've still not cried about it.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Wow, dude, we got to get thanks for being vulnerable.
Speaker 7 (35:24):
We're going to get you some counseling. Bro.
Speaker 6 (35:26):
Like my mom died, I cried for five minutes in
the room alone, and then I stood up and said, okay,
I got to handle the ship, and like walked out yeah.
Speaker 5 (35:32):
Wow.
Speaker 7 (35:33):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Well, uh, we've been wanting to talk about this a while.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
I think some of the lessons learned that we talked
about today is, Man, I can do a better job
number one of praying with my wife. Number two pursuing
her yea, being intentional about that pursuit.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
I think that's the big piece there.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
At that meeting we were at last night, we talked
about being intentional. And it wasn't just with our wives.
It was just about being intentional on sharing our testimonies,
being intentional, having an evangelical heart, being a Christian. Being
intentional as a Christian is so important. And and if this,
if our union with our wife is the most powerful
(36:15):
bond that God gave, then.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Man, I need to pay more attention to it.
Speaker 5 (36:21):
Right.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
I want to show my kids, you know, the godly
example of loving your wife, because you want to set
the example for your boys, so you know they want
they want to look back on life going, Man, my
dad had my mom's back all the time, right, you know,
we want to set those type of examples praying. Uh,
knowing the love languages, I've I've only read the definitions.
(36:47):
I've never read the whole book, but I've only read
the definitions of that and knowing what makes her tick
and her knowing what makes you tick.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
And we love just to you know, if you guys
are getting together this week.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
I know our guys in Ohio try to listen and
then kind of carry on the conversation. We'd love to
hear your feedback on your life with your wife. How
you argue, do you fight fair? Do you fight with
if your arguments to common? You want trying to get
to a common end and grow from that dispute and
grow stronger in Christ together. Man, that's what it's all about.
(37:20):
So we would love to hear those type of stories.
I throw this one out just for fun at the
end because I love this verse. I don't know you're
gonna love it. First Corinthian seven, the husband should give
to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife
to her husband.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
You know this, Michael, Do you know this?
Speaker 4 (37:41):
The wife does not have authority over her own body,
but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not
have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Yeah, baby, come on that scriptural stuff.
Speaker 7 (37:54):
I'm gonna post that on that.
Speaker 6 (37:55):
Yeah, she just has to use her authority a little
more often, right, all.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Fun tongue and cheek stuff, But man, the truth.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Is is just throughout the word, even the stuff like that,
and we can hold on to it as the truth
and be able to move forward through the grace of
God to get through anything, including those little spats we have.
We are seven weeks out. We're going to be celebrating
with Matthew West Hope, our buddies at Hope one O
six point three who we have their signs here, a
(38:24):
great local radio station in Bravard County, Florida. Go on
your dial and set your dial to the right of
the radio of your radio dial and listen to Hope
one O six point three. Eric and the team had
done a great job with their formatting. They're helping us
bring Matthew West to town for the Grace Experience. We're
going to be honoring a couple of amazing organizations.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
First off, the Seat of Rescue Mission. We're going to
be raffling.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
Off a motorcycle as a fundraiser, which will be fun
for the a VET Project and the Impact Warriors Veteran Project.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
We're going to be raffling off right now.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
The first thing we have We're going to be raffling
off a gun from our boys right here in Barvard.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
County, the Celtech Gun Company.
Speaker 7 (39:03):
Oh nice.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
So we're going to be raffling that off for a
fundraiser for them. And I'm working on the I'm going
to work on the second piece of that. I'm working
on it. Now there's gonna be something else, really really cool.
We're going to raffle off. I will tell you it's
going to involve military equipment, so just get ready. And
then so that organization and the other organization that we
(39:23):
are going to be supporting our friends at Amigos and
Cristo Love. That's our mission that we work with directly
in Waris Mexico, and they feed one hundred and eight
fifty to one hundred and ninety kids a day, work
with those kids, give them the Lord, and it's just
an amazing organization that we just fell in love with
when we were there last October. So Matthew West May thirty.
(39:45):
First tickets are at Kingcenter dot com. Go get you
some and come celebrate. With that said, and looking forward
to seeing you guys next week again where we might
have a guest that everybody loves.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
So we will We will take care of that then.
Until then, I am Tred.
Speaker 7 (40:01):
Michael Brad, I'm Jeremy.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
We are the cousin Christians.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Ay that project, baby.
Speaker 7 (40:07):
I gotta share it. I won't share it now. Something
that happened to me at at my period office.
Speaker 9 (40:14):
I gotta hhhh
Yo, what are you doing right now?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We are going to get real about men's issues, who
Jesus is and who we are as men in Christ.
We're gonna hear Trey, Jeremy, Michael and Brad break it down.
These guys call themselves the cousin Christians. All right, guys,
what is going on?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
I gotta check out my dad.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I got dad on Life three sixty so I can
track him anywhere.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Find my parents' app.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah, and he is. He's kind of.
Speaker 5 (00:34):
Day. The vet will do it for like fifty bucks.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
So well, we we had this long chat on Tuesday.
You know, we play golf every Tuesday and have breakfast.
And he's just starting to forget things. So he'll be
eighty four this summer, and he's starting to forget things
so much, and he in his short term memories really slacken.
And we installed this app on the phone so I
(01:00):
can anytime see where he is if he's driving. And
he just sent me a text, Okay, I'm heading north.
Now I'm going Dad, I've got the app. You don't
need to tell me that you're heading north. So now
I'm watching my dad. He's working his way through He
went over the causeway. He's about to hit I ninety five.
He's d up to New Smyrna for a wedding. All right,
(01:20):
But being a parent to your parent, we need to
have a whole we need to have a whole thing
on that sometime.
Speaker 6 (01:28):
There's actually a term for it. It's like the Oreo generation,
where you're taking care of your parents, but then you
also have kids in the house that are you know,
So you're you're the Oreo.
Speaker 7 (01:37):
You're you are at the Oreo.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I'm an Oreo guy, extra stuffing.
Speaker 7 (01:42):
Wow, you're an Oreo.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I don't have any kids at the house.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
Oh that's true.
Speaker 8 (01:46):
Yeah, So, Jeremy, you did it for a little bit.
And your grandmother living with you, of coour she passed it.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, you've been there.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
You know.
Speaker 6 (01:54):
My grandmother COPD and it was like stage four. She
used to be and then she quit for years, and
then all of a sudden, like when she moved back
to Florida, she started smoking again, and like so she
moved in with us, and she was smoking, and finally
she had like an episode where we had to take
her to the hospital, like almost didn't make it type thing.
And so he came back and We're like, listen, you
haven't smoked for three or four days, Like it's done, right,
(02:17):
Like we're not no more smoking, right. So she we
went into publics and she walks right up to the
smoke to buy cigarettes. And I walked over and I
was like, what are you doing? And she was like
and they're like literally holding the cigarettes. Get right ham
to her said no, she's not allowed to have those.
I was like, if you want to live in my house,
you will not buy those cigarettes. I was like, that's
(02:40):
the rules, you know the rules. I'm like nice, and
then I walk out and like, of course the people
at publics hear me say this, and I'm not being
like nice about it, and I'm like, man, I just
look like the total asshole right now. Yeah, you know,
but like it needed to be done. She was having
I mean, her auction levels were so low that she
was passing out. And also by the you have oxygen
(03:00):
on you can't smoke with oxygen, like you'll blow my
house up. Like so, my mom used to tell the
story she took me to the doctors one time and
I was being bad and she told me, if you
don't behave in with three in the trash like that
was the It was just a joke, right And the
nurse was like, man, that's not funny. And my mom
like she goes, okay, and she goes there are people
(03:22):
out there that do that.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
This is in the eighties, right, like, so it's not today.
Speaker 7 (03:31):
Karen's on every corner.
Speaker 6 (03:32):
Oh yeah, doctor Tulan's office. That was his name, Tulan.
I'm tooling around, not tooling. I'm liking your new hair,
bro thanks man, I need to go.
Speaker 7 (03:44):
I like the long look on you. I liked it
on you.
Speaker 8 (03:46):
I don't know it was it wasn't it wasn't working.
The hairline didn't support it, you know, the hair is
standing out. So I got it all chopped again. But
those guys that they go on college campuses and they
debate the students, and Matt Walsh has the what is
a woman? And Charlie Kirk Charlie Kirk, you know, and
Stephen Crowded has to change my mind. I want to
set one of those up. But do what is a mullet?
(04:07):
See what the kids say? Because I experienced, you know,
the beginning of the mullet, like late eighties, eighties, early
nineties small town in Oklahoma, and I saw some dude
with a buzz cut and then just a sheet of
hair behind, like shoulder length, no no blending, no transition.
It was the you know, the always called it business
in the front, party of the back, and and that
(04:27):
was I was like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
But over the years, but over the years, kids think
that anything that's long hair, anything like my hair was
kind of long all over and it was almost shoulder link.
They would call that a mullet. And I'm like, no, no, no, no,
that's that's not what it was. If you saw what
the original mullet was, like this redneck copy, that's a
(04:50):
good mullet. Yeah, But kids these days don't know what
it is. They are like, oh, I got a mullet
and it's just shoulder link there, and like.
Speaker 7 (04:55):
No, you don't know.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
And by the way, they weren't cool then they're not
cooling right they were back.
Speaker 9 (05:01):
I've seen them then, the the amish cuts. Have you
seen those kids are wearing noses They look like mo
from three steps.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Just the bowl over the top and they my mommy's
to cut my hair.
Speaker 9 (05:13):
When I was a kid, I had a g I cut, bro,
it was child.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
I had those bangs that went right to my eyebrows.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Lots of exciting stuff. Oh my gosh, cool haircut.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Yeah, I was thinking of the Grease song Beauty school dropout.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
No vacation, no beauty, no graduation day for you.
Speaker 9 (05:34):
But whole movie was portrayed. It was supposed to be
it was all a dream Grease.
Speaker 7 (05:42):
They say it was a dream makes sense, but actually.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Wait, I got I got to back up a little
bit because Greece was a Broadway production before the movie.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
No, I think it was after. Greece was before the Broadway.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
This doesn't change anything for me. I've never seen it.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Really, you've never seen it.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
You've never seen I heard.
Speaker 8 (06:00):
These songs like in the seventies, and I'm like, this
stuff I've ever heard, and that'll probably get cut.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
But it was I'm like, hey, stupid, I got to say.
Speaker 6 (06:10):
There's certain scenarios where that's just the perfect way to
say it, like it is what it is.
Speaker 8 (06:14):
I was listening with Band and the Police and Van
Halen back then, and then they're just what.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I'm like, am I listening to this?
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Brads to this?
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
But no, but hey, I watched Grease like a month ago.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Hey, can you.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Tell me something? Okay, you're talking that you just said that.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
But that key scene when Olivia Newton John came out
in that last minute, I fell in love many. I
was thirteen, I think maybe fourteen, and I went back
saw that movie like five times at the theater.
Speaker 6 (06:49):
I will say, I mean, that's probably the moment I
realized that I did like women.
Speaker 7 (06:52):
Yes, yeah, really, mine was a fair Foster post Oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
I had that on my wall right next to my
my membership certificate to First Methodist Church of mid Sex's.
Speaker 8 (07:03):
We weren't allowed to have those kind of posters, so
I'd go over to my friend's house. Yeah, there are
always like three guys in the neighborhood that had that
same poster.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
So I just go over there. Hey Scott, Hey, Scott,
what are you doing today?
Speaker 7 (07:13):
Hang out?
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yeah, I'm come over your house?
Speaker 7 (07:15):
Man.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Hey, can we have a sleep over here your house? Yeah?
All right?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
All of us married, yep, We've been talking about doing
this while and the yet but I'm still married. Right,
Arguments with our wives, marriages? How do you handle all that? Especially? Yeah,
you've been married forever. You've been married semi forever. I'm
(07:43):
coming on ten years, you're at eleven years. Eleven years.
Speaker 8 (07:46):
I was, you know, thirty five years, coming up on
thirty six. And I always say, it's been the best
thirty years of my life. We have five or six
that were not great, right, And you know, we always
talk about I'm playing checker, but she's playing chess, like
if we get an argument, and I'm thinking, if I
say this, I'll get this reaction. She's already gone like
four levels deeper, and she's like, well, this reveals, you know,
(08:09):
because you said this, This shows how you really feel
about this.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
And I'm like, whoa, what what just happened?
Speaker 8 (08:14):
She just yeah, I think I'm de escalating the situation
by saying something that I think is going to be
like innocuous. And then she's like she's already gone four
levels deeper and it's skipped ahead.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
And she's like, oh, now I know this because you
said that.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
I'm like, oh crap, huh does she beat you an argument?
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (08:29):
Yeah, yeah, she's way smarter than me. And that's the
whole scripture. Don't let the sun go down on your anger.
I've done that because I'm stubborn sometimes and I'm like.
Speaker 7 (08:38):
But I'm not talking to you. I don't give it.
Son can go down. I don't give a crap.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
You know.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
I know it's scriptural, but.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
It is scriptural. But there's also something with discernment, like
I'm not gonna get into an argument and a major debate,
and not not just an argument, but like talk about
anything of substance when I'm going to bed. Oh yeah,
because there's no good comes back. And if you know so,
I'm gonna I'm gonna say I love you. We're gonna
pick this up another time when we're both we both
(09:07):
have our senses about us a little more. It hasn't
been a long day, the stresses of the day hasn't
brought us down. Nothing good will happen if you and
I continue this conversation.
Speaker 6 (09:17):
Now, because usually I'm like sitting on the couch, letting
the day like go by, the kids have gone to sleep.
I may or may not have a cocktail, kind of
like just total decompression mode, right, And I need a
good hour on the couch for I go to sleep.
It doesn't matter if I get home at one in
the morning or six at night. I need one hour
on the couch. And she's been sitting there thinking about
(09:37):
it since dinner. What she wants to have to say
to me, you know what I mean? So me being
like Brad, I'm not that deep, so I haven't thought
about it at all. Or she's coming in with the
rolodex of information. You're hoping it just won't come up
till later. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it, like,
I know there's something there, but hopefully she won't be.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I know it's something there, and I dang sure don't
want to ask what it is.
Speaker 9 (09:59):
That's why we can sleep at night. Yeah, they can't.
They're up all night thinking about it.
Speaker 7 (10:03):
Not me.
Speaker 9 (10:04):
I'm I'm sleeping. And that's the other thing. Don't let
the sun go down in your anger. Winter time would
suck because that's five o'clock man, and then summer you
got more time.
Speaker 8 (10:14):
Yeah, sometimes it's like dealing with a black bear versus
a grizzly. You know, like a black bear you're supposed
to stand up, make yourself look bigger and be loud.
Grizzly you just roll over and play dead. I think
most of the time I'm already with a grizzly. I'm
just like just curl up and protect my head and neck.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
That's a great analogy.
Speaker 9 (10:33):
Man.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
Oh just talking.
Speaker 9 (10:35):
About that in a constantly setting.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
You know, I performed a wedding two months ago, and.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Oh the scripture you couldn't talk about.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
When you're doing the weddings.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
You always want to go there to the roles of
the husband and wife, right yep. And Ephesians it's wives,
you know, submit to your husband's and a lot that
submit word gets sorry, that submit word is is a.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Big point in our worldly view.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Submit means something different than what the biblical definition of
submit is. The wives, you know, the wife to be
in most of the time, her mom going ho ho,
wait a minute, let's back.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Up on that.
Speaker 7 (11:20):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
And of course when I'm going through it and her
fiance is sitting next to me, the dude, and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, submit,
And then I go hold on, cowboy. She had three
verses about submitting to you, and so we all know
that submitting means to serve to lift up all these
things that Jesus did for his church. And speaking of
(11:44):
she had three verses, dude, you got six and it
starts with love your wives as Christ, love the church. Right,
are you ready? Because what does that mean? And it's
probably even deeper than that. He's his his the dying
for the church, the sacrifice of the church is the ultimate.
(12:04):
But just in the day to day life of washing
feet of you know, going and serving the poor, and
going and serving the sinners, and those are tough things
your mind around and you know what, your wife, that's
your responsibility, and it sure does make.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
It tough when the spats of life come up.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
To love your wife as Christ love the Church, or
at least get distracted from that because nine times out
of ten, your arguments that you have with you, what's
the biggest thing you'll fight about.
Speaker 7 (12:36):
Most people fight about money.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
Money.
Speaker 6 (12:40):
Yeah, money, I mean yeah, I mean, but more than that,
it's like the kids usually, I mean, that's that's our
biggest arguments. Typically, or I do something stupid, I gotta
come and like I'm like, I'm a big kid. I
mean honestly, like go out and do something stupid. She's like,
really come on, like but she's like, you're like being
an asshole, and I got it coming.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
I Mean, that's that's the truth. I that's that's.
Speaker 9 (13:03):
The greatest difference between a man and a warm woman
and that's the meaning of what an ass because.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
It's true, it's Friday.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
You're gonna have fun with We're having a Friday and
we're having a full video session after this too.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
So so whether it's the submission side or the love
your wife like Christ love the church, it's sacrificial either way.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
It's serving on It's a street, correct.
Speaker 8 (13:27):
So it's it's not like, okay, we if you just
submit and I'm gonna sit on the I'm gonna sit
on the couch and drink my beer or whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
It sounds pretty good, but no, right.
Speaker 8 (13:36):
Right, So it's it's a two way street. It's sacrificial.
You know, both directions well, and when the marriage is
going well, it's it is a two way street. What
I find is when you know, either I'm upset with
her so I give up the one side of the
street and I start to doing my own thing, or
she kind of does the same thing and we're not
going in the same direction anymore. Right, Like it's that's
that's when the problems start, right now.
Speaker 7 (13:58):
Do you date your wife?
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Not enough?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
You got to that, and that that's what was the
next question was going there.
Speaker 6 (14:04):
And that's what I mean with the kids, and I mean,
I know you get in but I mean especially their age.
Like you know, we went away last weekend for flag
football tournament with the kids, with the kids, so like,
like for her birthday, I intentionally took her, you know,
away just the two of us, but like maybe once
every three to six months, we get out just to us.
Speaker 7 (14:21):
Once a week.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
And you said it before, when you get into an
argument with your wife, you know, you have to set
the bar. I need to sacrifice my right to be right. Yes,
and that's too with the competitiveness.
Speaker 9 (14:34):
Then Michelle's athlete to so you oh man, well.
Speaker 6 (14:39):
That's what I got in my house. I mean, she's
a highly competitive gymnast obviously, I mean so like, I mean,
she works a lot harder than I do.
Speaker 8 (14:48):
So well, and it's tough too when your wife is
right more than you are. I find that a lot.
I go into an argument thinking, well, I've got a
really good case here, and I present my case and
then she's already four step ahead of me. Not only
do I not see it, but then when I think
about it, I'm like, dang, she's right.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
That hurts.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Do you make eventually?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Maybe the next day, after the sun goes down.
Speaker 8 (15:14):
That's that's where I'm trying to get better at it,
because I can't fake it, Like I can't lie to myself.
And if she points something out and I'm like, that's
not true, but it'll seep in later, maybe maybe an
ho or two later, I go, oh, she's right, and
then I'll come back. But I can't in the moment.
Most of the time, I'm not like, well, you're right.
It's it's I have to believe it too.
Speaker 7 (15:33):
They got memories, man, Well.
Speaker 6 (15:35):
That's what my wife gets me on. She'll pull something
out of the rolldecks from like two thousand and three
and I'm like.
Speaker 9 (15:40):
At nine fifty two in the morning on a Saturday
while we were it's.
Speaker 6 (15:44):
Like, yeah, again, back to the simple piece, you know,
and to your point, like, she is right a lot,
Like I can't even say she's not, but I think
a lot of it is. I just don't care. Like
so it's like that's a problem, Like no, I don't,
And I mean that in the most loving way, right.
It's like the stuff that matters to them doesn't matter
to us, you know what I mean. The other thing
that we I end up doing, at least is in
(16:06):
a form to protect her. I like leave stuff out,
so I just like handle stuff, you know what.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
I mean, Hey, keep going because I've got that too.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Because I'll just handle it and like, I'll just do
it and whatever.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
I think twice about it, and then all of a sudden,
something will come up and she's like, well, why didn't
I know about that? You didn't keep me in the
loop about that, like now, and now I feel betrayed.
I feel all these feelings and I'm.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
Like, oh, dude, I'm like, well.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
I just knew you'd just caused stress in your life,
so I figured I just handle it and i'd stress
about it. But I don't need you stressing because, by
the way, that doesn't help anything, Like right, you know,
just a whole is a protector thing. It's not a'm
not doing anything. I'm trying to hurt anything. And then
if you especially if you make a bad decision, and
then that's a whole other right, yeah, you know what
I mean, why you can tell me you really messed
(16:50):
up this time?
Speaker 4 (16:50):
It's like, well, I mean it's just like ministry stuff
or job stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
You know, you make decisions on the fly.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
I mean I'm getting I'm getting a hundred is the
calls and texts today and all that. And I'll just
I'll you know, something happened a couple right at the
turn of the year and I made a decision on
something and I just shut it down and kept going.
Didn't even think about who it would affect, it affected
her or anything like that. And then about two weeks
(17:18):
ago it just kind of came back in conversation and
why did you do that?
Speaker 3 (17:23):
And I'm like, I didn't even think about it.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Yeah, I mean, it just and that's just this absent mindedness.
And you know, they want to be included and feel
worth than us going to them and including them and things.
But there's some instances where a guy, I just I
compartmentalized so much stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I go, Okay, that's.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Done, checked, gone, push it away. I'm not even going
to go go to that vault ever again. It's just
locked away and I'm done.
Speaker 8 (17:49):
I mean, is it realistic to say think like a
woman like, do we need to think, well, how would
she feel about it?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I don't know that we can. I mean, sometimes you can.
Speaker 7 (17:58):
You want me to start crying.
Speaker 8 (18:00):
But I guess we just have to be we have
to be prepared right, because we're taking care of stuff,
we're doing things the way we do them because we're
different than women. And then when she comes in and says, oh, well,
you need to do it differently, or I wish you
would have told me or whatever, I think we just
need to be prepared to be like, okay, like.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
My baggage, let's go next, you're right, or whatever.
Speaker 8 (18:19):
And vice versa because we are different, so there's always
going to be that possibility of oh, well, you you know,
you did this a different way than I would have
done it, and I wish you would have done this,
And for us just to be able to, I guess,
give each other grace and be able to say, Okay,
I didn't mean it that way, but you're right.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
I'll do it differently.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Next time, exactly exactly. And that's tough, and I sometimes
my pride will say, well, screw that, I don't have
to do that. And then most of the time after praying,
because when she's mad at me, it rips me up inside.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
I feel uncomfortable, I feel nothing's in balance. But sometimes
it takes me twenty four hours to go all right.
I've been thinking about what that went went down, and
I can see your point or you know, however however
that works out.
Speaker 7 (19:06):
But Donald's got She's an Italian jew.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Bro, She's half Italian, half Jew makes.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Enough.
Speaker 8 (19:15):
My wife's half half Italian half German. There's some some
intensity and some.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Passion intensity, passion there.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
What I'm hearing of this conversation is it doesn't matter
what they are.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Listening to us right now, around around the bar or
wherever you are.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Here's to you, brother, That's right, because marriage is hard,
marriage is tough. Let me ask you this.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
All right, you've been married thirty five, you're eleven, I'm ten,
you're four.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
That'll helps, do you say?
Speaker 4 (19:47):
And this is a friend of ours that we all
know and and I love how he phrases things, and
he makes me think a lot, and he is a
great proponent of the great message. But he always when
he talks about his wife, he goes, I always want her.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
To think I'm pursuing her.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Yeah, whether it's a little love note in the morning
or a little calder in the day. I was driving,
this reminded me of you. Or Hey, I'm thinking about
where I'm you know where I'm gonna take you for
dinner tonight. Do we still do you still thirty some years?
Do you still pursue your wife?
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Not as much as I should? I mean, in my
mind I do.
Speaker 8 (20:28):
And again it's where I think I'm doing a good job,
but it may not meet what.
Speaker 9 (20:33):
She needs for me, because and I love the book
and I go to it all the time. Gary Chapman's
the Five Love Languages. You've got to know, man, You've
got to know what your wife's love language is. Yeah,
and when you feed that and she knows yours, there's
a lot of balance there.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Yeah, yeah, I I you know, when you first start
dating and you know it's hot and heavy and you
can't think keep her out of your mind.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
You're sending her text, you're sending her notes. Flower is
all that ten years of that that kind of starts.
I don't pursue like that.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Sure, And it's like, you know, man, if you could
make it, make a pill that you could take, like
when you first are falling in love with somebody, you
just take that pill the rest of your life, just
to feel that way all the time and pursue. Sometimes
life just happens in that person.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
The business of life is part of my thing.
Speaker 6 (21:24):
I mean it's not and it's both of us, right,
I mean, and you end up being ships passing in
the dark. Sometimes I got a dater once a week. Yeah,
I hear you, But I mean you're not gone, like
and it's.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
A year, three days a week out anyway.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
It's no excuses.
Speaker 6 (21:38):
But hell, it's true, right, I mean, it's like, I mean,
we can say do it, but like the practice of
it is harder than I mean I'm going. I mean,
this is my scenario, but Brad has his own.
Speaker 5 (21:50):
You have your own.
Speaker 6 (21:50):
You're out working, you're doing your thing, and then you
get home and then next thing, you know, like the
kids are there, the dog whatever, and like next thing,
you know, it's nine o'clock. She's been up since four,
you know, so she's going to bed at nine, nine
thirty and like here I am, you know, and it's
just you miss each.
Speaker 7 (22:04):
Other, couch wind it down.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Yeah, And it's not.
Speaker 6 (22:07):
A And that's where I think a lot of our
issues come in sometimes, is just simply like we just
don't talk right, and it's like, you know, it's not
a unintentional on either side. It's just like you wake
up and I've seen it's been like two weeks since
you've had a real conversation.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 9 (22:21):
I saw a billboard once it said, make sure the
things that you are striving for are worth diving, dying for.
Speaker 7 (22:30):
And it's like with me.
Speaker 9 (22:34):
When I was first married, I had I was doing
three things, I had three jobs, and it got to
the point it was like, why am I doing this
what you know for more? For one reason, it was survival,
you know. But I can't imagine in this day and
age what couples are going through, especially financially with housing
(22:58):
and cars and expenses, and you know.
Speaker 7 (23:03):
I just it is so tough.
Speaker 9 (23:04):
And I think Satanist is really destroying the family because
of that, and that's his number one goal to rob, steal,
and destroy. And as couples, we are we are the
most powerful union in any in any army, because we're
(23:25):
two or more gathered in my name there, I am
in their midst the power of two. And when you've
got that power of two with your wife and it's strong,
nothing's gonna come at you that you can't handle or
can't push back.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
Oh yeah, And I think it's important to do to
remember that, like just like life, your marriages goes through
seasons too, right, Like it's not always pretty. I mean
you were saying best thirty out of thirty five years
of your life, right, I mean it's true. So like
you know, I think sometimes today, you know, Satan gets
in there and he's like, hey, you guys aren't happy now,
you should just leave, just leave, you know, and we.
Speaker 7 (24:00):
Could look at this over here, yeah.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
And it's like and that's when it's like even more
important to be like, I'm not like, this is when
we stick together. This is when you know it's not
good right now, but there was a good time there
and it'll come back if we can just work through
this whole thing, right.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
I think that's why it's why it's so important if
you and your wife both have a relationship with the
Lord and you have that grounding of the word, because
I tell you that's what got us through when you know,
early in our marriage and we were going through a
really rough time and we were separated for a bit,
it was like because she had a fear of the
Lord and a and a foundation in him and I
did too, that we were able to come back together.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
And I mean that saved our marriage.
Speaker 8 (24:37):
If we didn't have that, if it was based on
feelings or whatever experiences we had early on.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
There's no way we would have made it right.
Speaker 8 (24:44):
Right, So both of us, you know, pursuing the Lord individually,
but then coming together. I mean, like you said, Michael,
that's the strongest thing there is.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Do we truly appreciate the Lord's words were to become one?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Do we truly appreciate the power of that?
Speaker 4 (25:02):
And then you take it to you know, Solomon's writing
of the Yeah, but you take it to his writing
of the quarter three strands with you know, the with
the Father being the center point, with the other two
becoming one together, And do we really consider that? You said,
you both know that you're grounded. You went through a
(25:23):
rough spot, and it was through that you were able
to reconcile and come back together and probably be.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
A little bit stronger as a result of it.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
And that's the whole thing of these It's one thing
to be an argument, but you go through these seasons
of I just I don't wanna be around here right now,
I'm gonna go take a walk, or I'm you know,
and that's where that's where Satan starts playing with you.
An't necessarily the argument it's how you react in the
argument or as a result, you know, in the in
(25:51):
the day or so after. Not let Donn and I
fight all the time. We you know, we we don't
because I do like you do, and I curl up
like the Grizzly bear and do that soon.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
But shut up.
Speaker 6 (26:05):
But the biggest mistakes I make is that because I
am gone all the time and she's and she has
spoiled me.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
That's part of my problem.
Speaker 6 (26:14):
Is it before I went from having a mom to
having a wife or a girlfriend for a very long
time that took care of everything for me, to then
having career, going off whatever. But then she just handles
everything at home. So like when I get home on
the weekends, it's Disneyland, right, And so she calls me
that all the time. She's like, you're a Disneyland dad,
and she's saying it in the most caring way. But
(26:35):
she's not lying either, because I'm just there for the weekend,
you know, and it's I'm there for more than the weekends.
But my point is is that I don't think about
anything because I've not been forced to think about it.
And now she's starting on her career as a real
estate agent. You know, we've got two kids that are
now making her run them all over the place, right because,
and I'm not there. So then I get home, I'm
not helping with any of the problems. I'm part of
(26:56):
the problem now, you know. And she's like, if you could,
you know, just empty the dishwasher, it would help me
out a ton. And I'm like, I just was still
on the couch and decompressed. It just worked all day.
And she's like, what do you think I didn't work
all day. I'm like, yeah, yeah, And then I feel
like such an ass, you know.
Speaker 9 (27:11):
But you know, I'll do anything in the house. I'll
my head, I don't mind my head. And a toilet, cleaning, toilets,
any of that, I don't mind. She won't let me
do laundry anymore anyway, so I can't do laundry. But
I hate dishes, bro I hate it with a passion.
Speaker 7 (27:28):
I get this sense of not just itck, but dread.
Speaker 9 (27:36):
And there's a whole story behind that, but anyway, I'm
not going to go into it. And I and there's
times when I'll come home and she's run the dishwasher
and the doors open and the drawers are out like, uh,
she's priming.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Empty the dishwak drawers are open. That should be a
signal for you to unload the dishwasher.
Speaker 7 (28:00):
But I'll do toilets all day long. I don't have
problem with that.
Speaker 8 (28:03):
Yeah, there's certain things that like you, like I said,
I don't mind doing. But then there's things I don't
want to do, like dealing with the sprinklers or dealing
with certain things outside. And she'll be reminding me of it,
usually right before we go to sleep. She'll be like, oh, yeah,
the sprinkler, the sprinkler's not hitting the tree. I'm like, okay, whatever.
I'll fall asleep, and two weeks later she'll bring it
up again. I'm like, and I don't want to deal
with it. And that's where we get into a lot
of conflict.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Donald wants it done. So what rolls ten minutes ago?
Speaker 9 (28:27):
Yeah, how do you as husband and wife maneuver what roles,
especially when two people are working, What roles is this
the wife and the husband's supposed to do?
Speaker 6 (28:36):
I mean, so, we were very gender role specific at
our house for the longest time, and she wanted it
that way. It wasn't that I made it that way.
But then she reminded me the other day. She goes,
you just outsourced all your stuff to the lawn guy.
So I'm like, you're not off the hook. That's not
not fair cleaning my sprinkler heads, Like, I mean, I
(28:57):
don't do anything out there, Like I got a guy
that puts the stuff down.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
I got edges, a.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Little backfill and responsibility fill it in.
Speaker 6 (29:05):
It's perfect because I made the joke of, well, you
told me I just have the outside of the house.
You got the inside. She goes, yeah, but you outsourced
the whole thing, Like that's not wrong.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
It's like we're getting smarter.
Speaker 6 (29:17):
Yeah, I mean I think that stuff's out the window now.
I mean I I don't do a good job of it.
So if she hears this or anybody hears that, I'm
figuring it out, you know, But I mean I should
do more.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
I mean, we definitely have a team mentality around our house.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
You guys, you have to.
Speaker 8 (29:32):
And there are times like I'll get up, I get
up early in the morning and if if the kitchen's
a mess, and it's usually not, but if it is,
because like sometimes we'll go to bed at ten o'clock
and the kitchens clean, we'll come back down. I'll come
back down five six hours later, and there's dishes in
this sink like the kids have been up. The kids
have been cooking food in the middle of the night.
But my my thought is, I don't want her to
come down here and have to think about doing dishes
right first, thing, like, I want her to come down
(29:54):
peaceful kitchen, you know, get her coffee. Yeah, so I'll
clean the kitchen like ill way better. I'll make sure
it's spotless for she comes down. But but then again,
if there's a sprinkler that's hitting the road, I'll wait
for weeks before I address it because I just you don't.
I don't want to do it, especially not in the
middle of the day. I'm always like, I'll do it
after dinner at dusk.
Speaker 7 (30:10):
When it's no that's smart, get lit up.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
Yeah, let me ask you this just I'm going to
give you my honest answer, And my honest answer is
not near enough. So that's my answer. How often do
you look her in the eye, hold her hands and
pray with her?
Speaker 5 (30:32):
We don't pray together very often.
Speaker 9 (30:34):
I pray with her when she goes to bed. I
let my hands on it. She doesn't know this, but
I pray when she's Yeah.
Speaker 7 (30:40):
That's awesome.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
But I mean, and I'm not talking about like when
you're fighting and you pray just to get past it.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
I mean that that suns.
Speaker 4 (30:48):
Or you're going to well, not don fighting, but going
through going through a trauma or something that's going on. Yeah, okay, Yeah,
And maybe the argument is part of it where you say,
you know what, I don't know what the answer is.
You probably right hands and let's pray about it. Let's
just pray that I'm right this time, not you. But
how much do we pray with our wife.
Speaker 8 (31:09):
We've been doing it a lot more lately, but you know,
for whatever, we had like a fifteen year span where
things were cruising along pretty smoothly, and I don't remember
praying with her much then because things were pretty good.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I always pray for her, like I pray for her
every day.
Speaker 8 (31:23):
But yeah, just taking the time because like you said,
you get home and and it's like off to the races,
doing dinner, getting the kids to bed, all that. It's
like you have a very small window of time where
you could actually do.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
That with your wife.
Speaker 8 (31:36):
So it's it's tough, but I think out of necessity,
we've been doing it together more frequently.
Speaker 7 (31:41):
Two are more gathered in my name. There, I am in.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Your powerful for sure.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
You actually pray over your wife every night. That's that's,
That's all she's.
Speaker 7 (31:50):
Going to hear that I've never told her that I
just do it.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Oh yeah, that's that's a great, great thing.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
Ten hours for well, well, that's that's actually one reason
I mean we we don't. We don't do it very
if at all. And that's part of it is that
we're just on two different schedules. Like I mean, she
gets up at four or five. I get up at seven,
you know, sometimes eight. Like let's be honest, like I mean,
it just depends on what I got to do that day.
I got I got it.
Speaker 7 (32:18):
I'm mowing.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
You're not mowing.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
I got an outsourced I just got to think that
I if I made more deliberate prayer time with my wife,
not me by myself, but with her doing praying, that
would probably ease to you know, smooth down the edges
on so many things that pop up in our lives.
Speaker 7 (32:38):
I totally agree.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
And so I'm saying that now with some revelation of Okay, try.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
And pursue her through.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
Well, let me ask you, if you're praying with your wife, though,
am I going to be as truthful and honest in
the prayer?
Speaker 5 (32:54):
Right?
Speaker 6 (32:54):
Like you have to make sure that if you're going
to do that, then you've got to be ready to
be honest with God obviously, but like meaning what yeah, yeah,
It's like what I'm going with this is like, all right, well,
you're going through this time whatever that is, And like,
as the protector, you're not always saying everything right, and
so you're keeping that in the back of your mind.
You're like, hey, you know, I'm not saying this out loud,
but when I pray to God, I talk about it.
So it's like, if I'm sitting there holding hands with
(33:16):
my wife praying, are you ready to And I'm not
saying it's a bad thing. I'm saying it's a good thing.
You should do this, but like, is it going to
force you now to be that open and honest and
kind of give up some of that? It's like, hey, God,
you do know I have this fear about what's going
to happen next month. I just don't understand.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
Oh, will that triggers some more anxiety or whatever, But
I got it. It's going to be like medication in
a great way that he's actually coming to me with this. Now,
it's not like.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Pray that she'll calm down at the end of the.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
Yeah, and I pray that she'll be.
Speaker 6 (33:49):
Really when I opened my eyes, can she please not
be standing there with a knife. It's like, you know again,
the protector in me is I don't want her to
know that I'm worried.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
About something like you're hiding anything, You just you just
want to.
Speaker 6 (34:02):
Yeah, I'm just sitting here thinking like back a year
ago when I really truly didn't know my next paycheck
was going to come, you know what.
Speaker 5 (34:08):
I want to pray about that right openly open yeah,
or with her.
Speaker 6 (34:14):
I wasn't even telling I didn't tell you guys that stuff,
you know, I mean, I'm not telling anybody.
Speaker 9 (34:17):
Don't Don't our wives want us to be more vulnerable?
And do we have the ability to do?
Speaker 5 (34:23):
They to? Oh?
Speaker 7 (34:24):
I think so, I really do what do we have
the ability to be vulnerable?
Speaker 6 (34:29):
I think my truthfully answer to that. I think everybody
says they want that at some point. Maybe this is
the man issue too, But when you actually give it,
do they really want it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
It probably depends on what it is.
Speaker 5 (34:42):
You know.
Speaker 8 (34:42):
It's like maybe you can be vulnerable about certain things
that they will feel like, Oh, that's like he really
opened up to me. But like you said, maybe do
you want to be vulnerable about how you're fearing about
whether or not your kids are going to be able
to eat next week?
Speaker 1 (34:53):
I mean, you don't have money.
Speaker 9 (34:54):
But if I started crying once a week every month,
I don't think she would appreciate.
Speaker 6 (35:00):
I don't know that my wife's ever seen me cry. Really,
I'm dead serious.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
What have you done seen me cry?
Speaker 1 (35:07):
It's coming. Wait till you get your fifties.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (35:09):
I like, even when my parents passed away, Like I
didn't cry in front of anybody, And I don't even
know that cried when dad. I didn't cry when Dad died.
I didn't cry one time. I've still not cried about it.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Wow, dude, we got to get thanks for being vulnerable.
Speaker 7 (35:24):
We're going to get you some counseling. Bro.
Speaker 6 (35:26):
Like my mom died, I cried for five minutes in
the room alone, and then I stood up and said, okay,
I got to handle the ship, and like walked out yeah.
Speaker 5 (35:32):
Wow.
Speaker 7 (35:33):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Well, uh, we've been wanting to talk about this a while.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
I think some of the lessons learned that we talked
about today is, Man, I can do a better job
number one of praying with my wife. Number two pursuing
her yea, being intentional about that pursuit.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
I think that's the big piece there.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
At that meeting we were at last night, we talked
about being intentional. And it wasn't just with our wives.
It was just about being intentional on sharing our testimonies,
being intentional, having an evangelical heart, being a Christian. Being
intentional as a Christian is so important. And and if this,
if our union with our wife is the most powerful
(36:15):
bond that God gave, then.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Man, I need to pay more attention to it.
Speaker 5 (36:21):
Right.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
I want to show my kids, you know, the godly
example of loving your wife, because you want to set
the example for your boys, so you know they want
they want to look back on life going, Man, my
dad had my mom's back all the time, right, you know,
we want to set those type of examples praying. Uh,
knowing the love languages, I've I've only read the definitions.
(36:47):
I've never read the whole book, but I've only read
the definitions of that and knowing what makes her tick
and her knowing what makes you tick.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
And we love just to you know, if you guys
are getting together this week.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
I know our guys in Ohio try to listen and
then kind of carry on the conversation. We'd love to
hear your feedback on your life with your wife. How
you argue, do you fight fair? Do you fight with
if your arguments to common? You want trying to get
to a common end and grow from that dispute and
grow stronger in Christ together. Man, that's what it's all about.
(37:20):
So we would love to hear those type of stories.
I throw this one out just for fun at the
end because I love this verse. I don't know you're
gonna love it. First Corinthian seven, the husband should give
to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife
to her husband.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
You know this, Michael, Do you know this?
Speaker 4 (37:41):
The wife does not have authority over her own body,
but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not
have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Yeah, baby, come on that scriptural stuff.
Speaker 7 (37:54):
I'm gonna post that on that.
Speaker 6 (37:55):
Yeah, she just has to use her authority a little
more often, right, all.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Fun tongue and cheek stuff, But man, the truth.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Is is just throughout the word, even the stuff like that,
and we can hold on to it as the truth
and be able to move forward through the grace of
God to get through anything, including those little spats we have.
We are seven weeks out. We're going to be celebrating
with Matthew West Hope, our buddies at Hope one O
six point three who we have their signs here, a
(38:24):
great local radio station in Bravard County, Florida. Go on
your dial and set your dial to the right of
the radio of your radio dial and listen to Hope
one O six point three. Eric and the team had
done a great job with their formatting. They're helping us
bring Matthew West to town for the Grace Experience. We're
going to be honoring a couple of amazing organizations.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
First off, the Seat of Rescue Mission. We're going to
be raffling.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
Off a motorcycle as a fundraiser, which will be fun
for the a VET Project and the Impact Warriors Veteran Project.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
We're going to be raffling off right now.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
The first thing we have We're going to be raffling
off a gun from our boys right here in Barvard.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
County, the Celtech Gun Company.
Speaker 7 (39:03):
Oh nice.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
So we're going to be raffling that off for a
fundraiser for them. And I'm working on the I'm going
to work on the second piece of that. I'm working
on it. Now there's gonna be something else, really really cool.
We're going to raffle off. I will tell you it's
going to involve military equipment, so just get ready. And
then so that organization and the other organization that we
(39:23):
are going to be supporting our friends at Amigos and
Cristo Love. That's our mission that we work with directly
in Waris Mexico, and they feed one hundred and eight
fifty to one hundred and ninety kids a day, work
with those kids, give them the Lord, and it's just
an amazing organization that we just fell in love with
when we were there last October. So Matthew West May thirty.
(39:45):
First tickets are at Kingcenter dot com. Go get you
some and come celebrate. With that said, and looking forward
to seeing you guys next week again where we might
have a guest that everybody loves.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
So we will We will take care of that then.
Until then, I am Tred.
Speaker 7 (40:01):
Michael Brad, I'm Jeremy.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
We are the cousin Christians.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Ay that project, baby.
Speaker 7 (40:07):
I gotta share it. I won't share it now. Something
that happened to me at at my period office.
Speaker 9 (40:14):
I gotta hhhh
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